


Essential

by disneydork



Series: Retail [1]
Category: Disney - All Media Types, Frozen (Disney Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern: No Powers, Alternate Universe - Retail, Asexual Character, Asexual Elsa (Disney), Asexual Lesbian Elsa, Background Disney characters, Coming Out, Coworker Relations, Coworkers - Freeform, Developing Relationship, Disney, F/F, Frozen AU, Gen, MAREN YOU IDIOT, Movie: Frozen (2013), Movie: Frozen 2 (2019), Queer Characters, Retail, Slow Burn, Useless Lesbians
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-19
Updated: 2020-12-10
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:27:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 40
Words: 238,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23726794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disneydork/pseuds/disneydork
Summary: Amid the Covid-19 outbreak, employee's at Oaken's supermarket are needed more than usual. And while they may be deemed essential to help everyone get through the pandemic, what's also essential to help them survive are the bonds and friendships they create along the way.Or, a modern AU where Maren, Elsa, and some other Disney characters happen to work in a grocery store because i need an outlet as a grocery store employee.[Rated Teen for cursing.]
Relationships: Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)
Series: Retail [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1929961
Comments: 503
Kudos: 202





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'd like to start this story with a confession. I'm a grocery store employee and after the store closes and i continue my work, i blast the Frozen soundtracks on Spotify. As i was singing along with one of my coworkers [who's not sick of my taste in music...yet] i started wondering what would happen if Elsa and Maren worked in a store like mine, and if maybe Elsa would sing along to music, too, if she thought no one was listening. That started by basis for this story, especially for this first chapter.
> 
> I'm gonna be honest, i don't have a specific outline. I've worked in retail for years now and i always joke with how many stories i go home with i should write about them. But i could never figure out how because there is no plot or outline; it's just constant work and surviving under normal circumstances. And especially now, not knowing where this virus is gonna go or for how long, there's definitely not much of a timeline. Everything i'm writing for this i'm writing as i go, while picking up inspiration from some of my crazy retail stories along the way, as well as a few i read online. If i can remotely describe any kind of direction to expect this story to go in, to give you guys a reason to stick around in this mess, it's to see the relations between these characters develop. Because the relations i have with my coworkers is what gets me not just through working in this pandemic, but almost all of my shifts as a cashier. I've spent the better part of this week writing the first couple of chapters so let's see where this goes and i hope you enjoy this crazy ride!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to start this story with a confession. I'm a grocery store employee and after the store closes and i continue my work, i blast the Frozen soundtracks on Spotify. As i was singing along with one of my coworkers [who's not sick of my taste in music...yet] i started wondering what would happen if Elsa and Maren worked in a store like mine, and if maybe Elsa would sing along to music, too, if she thought no one was listening. That started by basis for this story, especially for this first chapter.
> 
> I'm gonna be honest, i don't have a specific outline. I've worked in retail for years now and i always joke with how many stories i go home with i should write about them. But i could never figure out how because there is no plot or outline; it's just constant work and surviving under normal circumstances. And especially now, not knowing where this virus is gonna go or for how long, there's definitely not much of a timeline. Everything i'm writing for this i'm writing as i go, while picking up inspiration from some of my crazy retail stories along the way, as well as a few i read online. If i can remotely describe any kind of direction to expect this story to go in, to give you guys a reason to stick around in this mess, it's to see the relations between these characters develop. Because the relations i have with my coworkers is what gets me not just through working in this pandemic, but almost all of my shifts as a cashier. I've spent the better part of this week writing the first couple of chapters so let's see where this goes and i hope you enjoy this crazy ride!

So it’s come to this.

Stories had been shared of the horrors. Tales that seemed too awful, too unbelievable, and just plain too crazy to be true. Peers often shared their experiences in the situation. Food gone bad. People complaining over the most minuscule things. Having blame forced upon them that was meant to go elsewhere. Needing to do the most basic math on a cell phone. Keeping fake smiles plastered on, never once being allowed to falter. Hearing the same questions over and over again, not to mention needing to repeat the same answers over and over again. The list went on. And now, here was Maren about to join the not-so-exclusive club.

Retail.

Or customer service; both titles were of the same cloth.

Maren didn’t want to be part of this club. Then again, who wanted to? No one willingly entered the world of retail unless there were no other options. Stranger after stranger claimed that retail was only meant for high schoolers and college students who needed to start somewhere in order to gain some kind of work experience. Unfortunately, too many of Maren’s classmates had shared the unwarranted advice of customers – that they should stay in school and make sure to get a “real job” as soon as possible. Not that Maren was ever one of _those_ customers. She liked to think that she did her best to treat everyone with the generally deserved courtesy. Still, she would have given anything to avoid stooping to this level. Specifically, the level of knowing the abusive field she was going into. Unfortunately for her, she was unable to drag it out any longer.

The Covid-19 outbreak seemed to come on so suddenly, though it depended who you asked. At first Maren didn’t think too much of it. How many other “pandemics” had come and gone in her lifetime already? The Swine Flu, Zika Virus, and Mad Cow Disease were the first that came to her mind. Surely Covid-19 was just another one of those that would soon pass. So she had gone about her normal routine. But then stores started becoming empty. People were buying any and everything off the shelves. Article after article about the low survival rate became prominent on her Yahoo feed. Too many timelines on Facebook were showing people stocking up on toilet paper and hand sanitizer, and soon enough had people posting about the hand-made facemasks they were working on. Maren’s school closed a week before Spring Break, essentially giving the students an extra week of freedom. However Spring Break came and went and the doors didn’t reopen. All too quickly the emails were coming in about how to submit the now overdue assignments and how to participate in the classes online. When Maren finally decided to start college, this was not how she expected her experience to go at all.

What made matters even worse was money. Her brother, Ryder, fortunately made a little money interning at the veterinary clinic and was compensated for one meal a day. There was still a little money left in the bank account their parents had left for them, but would only cover rent for so long. And with their aunt living so far away, there was only so much she could do to assist. Yelena needed money for herself as well and, now that she was retired, she was stretched just as thin as Maren and Ryder were. A month of this madness was enough; something had to be done. Maren was a prideful person and wouldn’t have even thought to ask Yelena for more money. But the way she saw it, actually submitting resumes to supermarkets online was no different from her asking Yelena for help. She was still admitting defeat. Maren had thick skin; knowing the field she was going into, she could handle the torture that were the annoying customers. But there was no way in hell she was going to let her brother be tortured by this madness as well.

Most stores by now were closed, and had been for at least a week. It had just been made official that the only stores allowed to be open were pharmacies and grocery stores. The only other places that were considered essential, at least that Maren knew of, were hospitals, banks and, for some reason, police stations. Ryder would be ok, continuing to intern at the veterinary clinic; his hours were reduced, but at least he’d still have something. Maren settled with applying to grocery stores – some major companies like Target, King Kullen, and Wal-Mart, and some smaller or locally owned businesses. Some places had “now hiring” signs up, likely to be certain there would always be backup staff in case anyone called out or had to quarantine for two weeks. Whether that applied to all locations or not, Maren wasn’t certain.

She interviewed at and secured a job at a smaller owned supermarket, known simply as Oaken’s. She wasn’t as familiar with the place, other than it was a family owned business and that it was nothing compared to chains like Stop and Shop or Shop Rite. Oaken’s didn’t have more than fifteen aisles and contained less than dozen registers – six regular and three self scan. The customer service desk was at the front of the store; closer to the self scans, while the entrance and exit were on the opposite end. Towards the back of the store were the bathrooms, a break room, and, from what Maren assumed, a storage room or area of some sort for deliveries. Finally, the corner to the left of customer service contained shelves with bins. Maren quickly learned that was the area of the store reserved for rejects, better known as throwbacks. The corner was small so there couldn’t have been enough room for more than one, maybe two, carts; though, to be fair, it probably looked far worse than it usually was because of how many items people decided last minute they didn’t want to buy after all. The store in general was filled with nature colors, primarily browns, tans, and greens. It would have almost been relaxing under different circumstances. Signs were attached to the corner of each aisle listing a few specifics of what to find. If Maren was being honest, she only cared about where to find the cereal and chocolates – Aisles 4 and 10, she quickly learned.

She was only on day three of her job and already she was ringing on her own. She spent her first shift on Saturday shadowing a coworker, specifically helping them bag and learning the basics. Day two she was ringing while one of her coworkers watched over her and handled cash orders on her behalf. Maren would have expected a week of training rather than a mere two days. To say she was a bit nervous was…well she wouldn’t go so far as to call it an understatement. She only wished she had more time to better grasp certain aspects. Maren felt a bit guilty she had to keep turning to her coworker behind her to ask for assistance. Where to find certain items; how to process a check; to be reminded if a WIC card was any different from a SNAP one; and how to force a coupon through, to name a few. It was a bit much for a seven-hour shift.

Luckily her coworker, Ella, had been more than helpful. Any time Maren had a question the blonde answered with a smile and spoke with a voice that was so soft and buttery. Before taking her first break, Ella even asked if Maren wanted her to write down some of the most common produce codes so she wouldn’t have to keep looking them up. How the hell could someone who worked in the hellhole that was retail be so sweet and helpful?

Though Oaken’s was typically open until eleven, they were now closing at eight due to limited hours. The last customer finished at Ella’s line by five after eght, leaving three employees in the store – four if you counted the CSDH, a.k.a. the supervisor, but somehow Maren had not seen them her entire shift. She assumed because of how busy it was, the supervisor had to be everywhere at once so it was impossible for them to even stay in one spot long enough for Maren to get so much as a look at them.

Maren removed her gloves; if only to adjust her braid, before following Ella to self scan. There was their other coworker, Nani, wiping down one of the machines with one hand and talking into her cell phone in the other.

“Yes, you can call me now if you need anything,” Nani spoke into the receiver, “but please try not to need me. I got a lot of stuff to finish tonight. Just behave for your Uncle Jumba and Aunt Pleakley, all right? I’ll see you in the morning.” After ending the call, Nani placed her phone in her back pants pocket and then picked up the spray to finish cleaning.

“Are you ok to finish cleaning, Nani? Do you need any help?” Ella offered.

“Nah, this is cake compared to cleaning my sister’s room,” Nani brushed it off. Scrunching her nose she added, “Actually sometimes dealing with customers can be a cake compared to my sister.”

Maren raised an eyebrow. “Should we wait for the boss to come back? How does this work…?”

“We got a pretty good routine going since Oaken started limiting the hours,” Nani answered. “Boss is in the cash office and then taking her break, so we’re probably good to be on our own for the next forty-five minutes or so.”

“Is it your first time staying past closing?” Ella asked Maren.

The brunette nodded. “Yeah. My first two shifts I was outta here by five. I can work any time on weekends, but weekdays I still have my online classes. So I try to keep some time open for the assignments before I come into work.”

Ella smiled at her. “Oh, so you’ll be spending the nights with us then. That’s wonderful. I can walk you through what we do.”

“That would be great. I’m sorry, I know I’ve been asking you for a lot today…” Maren shrugged.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s going to take some time to get used to everything. I think some of us are still adjusting to this new normal,” Ella replied.

Nani scoffed. “Yeah, if you can even call it that. My uncle still thinks this whole situation is bull and we should just let whatever happens happen.”

Somehow Maren doubted those were the exact words anyone would use given the situation. But who was she to argue? “I’m just grateful to be making some money despite everything,” she confessed.

“I think we’re all a little bit thankful and a bit scared at the same time,” Ella offered. “There’s no telling how long this is going to go on and when people are scared, they usually act in the worst ways. We’re all allowed to be confused and afraid right now. But as long as we focus on what we do and remember that we have our job and our health, we’ll be able to get through it. After all, everyone working here is in the same boat. So we know that no matter what comes our way we’re not completely alone.”

Maren stared at her coworker blankly. Again, how the hell could someone who works in retail be so sweet and helpful? Placing her hands on her hips, Maren leaned her body weight to one side and stared at the blonde in awe. “Wow. That’s a pretty amazing way to look at it, Ella.”

“It’s so sweet I could barf,” Nani teased.

Ella shook her head, seeming to brush off the comments. “I learned quickly not to let the negativity affect me. I could come to work in the worst mood and it wouldn’t change anything. The best thing to do is focus on the positives and to realize that at the end of the day, no matter what’s going on out here in the real world we’ll always have our dreams to escape to. We can’t forget about the light in the darkness.”

Nani flinched as she moved to the other end of the self scans. “Ugh!” From the top of one of the coolers, almost buried underneath the small display of Goldfish crackers on top of it, she pulled out a soggy bag of pizza rolls. “Even if the darkness includes someone choosing to waste perfectly good pizza rolls?”

Maren stuck her tongue out. “Why couldn’t they just give it back to you if they didn’t want it?” She signaled a bit further up, where there was a freezer at one of the end caps. “Isn’t that the frozen section right there?”

“Well I suppose…” Ella started.

“Cut the silver lining, sunshine,” Nani commented, tossing the bag across to her coworker. “You can preach light all you want but it doesn’t cancel out the pure stupidity in people.”

Ella let out a defeated sigh.

“So what do we do with that now?” Maren inquired.

Ella set the wasted food on top of one of the nearby carts. She then pulled it out of the way, revealing roughly four other wagons worth of throwbacks behind it. “First, we organize the throwbacks. We can create a line of these and go through them, start setting some of the items in the bins, and once we empty one wagon continue sorting that way. We’ll need to make sure to leave one wagon to fill with damaged goods.” Turning to the first cart, Ella removed a few items from the top to the bottom. “We can start by piling some of the damages here for the time being. If we can empty out another wagon, then we can easily put one or two aisles worth of stuff in.”

“And then we walk around the store putting everything back?” Maren finished.

“Exactly,” Ella nodded.

“While you all take care of that, I’ll check the back to see if we have more spray and then empty the garbage cans,” Nani said.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to do that? Or clean under the registers?” Ella asked.

Nani scoffed. “You’re on the clock as a cashier, not a maid. You do enough cleaning during the day. So since there’s no need for you to be on register, get to the throwbacks. I’ll check any of the coolers on the way back around to see what doesn’t go.”

Maren raised an eyebrow. As Ella pulled another wagon out and pushed it behind the first one, Maren grabbed another one. “What did she mean by that?”

Ella shrugged. “Maid by day, cashier by night. I work at one of the hotels before I come here.”

“I thought a lot of the hotels were closed now?” Maren asked.

“They’re supposed to be. My boss there is a little bit….” The blonde paused in an attempt to search for the right word.

“Bitchy?” Maren finished knowingly.

Ella tilted her head.

“I figured you’re not the type of person to curse someone out,” Maren shrugged.

“You’re not wrong,” she confessed. “I don’t know. I suppose I’m thankful she still wants me to continue working. It is best right now to make sure everything stays consistently clean, especially in case we do need to be opened again. She has let a lot of her staff go in the interim, so the fact that she’s holding onto me is a compliment. I must be good at my job in that case.”

Or she’s completely exploiting you and your desire to wanna help everyone, Maren thought. She wasn’t going to say it out loud, though. Ella may have only been a couple of years Maren’s junior, but saying something disheartening to the woman might as well have been telling a child that the tooth fairy didn’t exist. Maren was realistic and she did want to help out in any way that she could, but she didn’t want to do it by destroying such a warm character.

Once the last few wagons were out of the way, Maren took in the shelves now clearly displayed in front of her. There were two shelves bolted to the wall, each with seven bins. They were labeled simply by aisle number. Great, she thought sarcastically, I still don’t know where the hell to put anything.

Ella must have noticed Maren’s discomfort in the sight. “Don’t worry. I’ll direct where everything goes. Once we have a wagon emptied and one of the bins gets too full, we can put that in the wagon for you to put back.”

“Is that how it works?” Maren asked.

“It does depend who’s organizing,” Ella admitted, “but I think it’ll be more helpful for you to see for yourself where everything goes. Though the shelves are going to be a bit empty….”

“I saw the cereal aisle before,” Maren sighed. “They completely cleared out the Cocoa Puffs. Savages.”

“I’m sorry,” Ella apologized. “If it makes you feel any better, last week when I tried buying cheese for my mice there was none to be found. I had to improvise until we got a new shipment.”

The brunette blinked. “Mice?”

Ella smiled and nodded. She passed Maren a few packs of bread and pointed to the bin labeled “Aisle 11”, to which Maren obliged. “Jaq, Gus, and Mary.”

“You just don’t seem like a mouse person,” Maren commented.

“I’d take in any animal if I could,” Ella confessed. “I’ll show you pictures once we’re done organizing. Oh! Unless you have a thing about rodents. I know some people can be a bit….”

Maren shook her hands. “No, don’t even give it a second thought! My brother works with animals at the clinic, he tells me about them all the time. I’d love to see some pics.”

The conversation continued as one of the wagons steadily began to empty. Maren learned that Ella lived on her own with her three mice in a small studio apartment and juggled working at Oaken’s and the hotel. Ella had tried once to take an online class while she worked, but when either of her jobs asked her to work extra she found herself unable to say no and had to drop the class as a result. She hoped to one day be able to open her own animal shelter. It almost made Maren think of her brother and how much he enjoyed working with animals. She bet if the two of them ever met up they’d get along famously. And while Ella didn’t divulge too much information about their other coworkers, Maren did learn that Ella’s story was much like everyone else’s. Most of the employees at Oaken’s worked there while also attending school or holding down a second job. Others were in a predicament similar to Maren, in which for any number of reasons they needed money and the only job they were able to get was in customer service. It was a dirty and difficult job, but regardless of the situation retail stores were always hiring. It did little to raise Maren’s spirits, unfortunately. Hearing those stories only confirmed how messed up everything was before the pandemic started. And now things were even worse. How many people were completely out of a job now but may not be as lucky as Maren to work anywhere? How many stores would continue to hire? How long would this drag on for before something would change? She could definitely use some encouragement from her brother right about now…even if it was something as simple as seeing a video of a dog lick peanut butter off his finger.

It must have been around twenty minutes later that one of the wagons filled with items from Aisle 2 – the chips, crackers, and nuts aisle to be exact. But not the organic nuts; according to Ella. Those were by the produce. So Maren took the cart and began searching for the locations. Parking the cart at the head of the aisle, she surveyed some of the items she had on top. Pringles, Wise potato chips, and Snyder’s pretzels. Looking up and then back and forth from the shelves on her right to the left, Maren tried to keep her eyes peeled for anything that appeared familiar. Oh, Tostitos and salsa…she recalled seeing those at the bottom of the wagon. Moving a few items around, Maren easily found a jar of salsa and returned it to its proper location. The Tostitos were more of a challenge; she had a party size bag but only the regular sizes were left. Where did they…? Surely they couldn’t have been too far away from the regular size. Ugh, what was it that Ella told her? Something about the tags….

Oh, right! Check the price on the tags! Maren recalled seeing a price checker at the other end of Aisle 3. All she had to do was scan the bag and then match it to the price on the tags near the rest of the Tostitos. This wasn’t so difficult. Hell, it was far better than dealing with the customers that was for sure! Maren turned down Aisle 3 and then walked up to the end of it. Lifting the bag, she tilted it until the light from the machine hovered over the bar code. She waited for the beep to signal the item was found in the system. It seemed to take a few tries. Was she bending the bar code? Was the bag crooked? Was the machine broken? Come on already, she thought. What was taking so long?

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

Maren blinked. What was that?

Pulling the bag away from the scanner, she hesitated. It almost sounded like…someone was singing? But who would be doing that now? Were they even allowed to sing on the job?

Maren shook her head. She had to have been hearing things. Maybe all she needed was a snack. She’d finish the aisle, take her break and much on something, and then finish her shift. She only had a couple of hours to go anyway. It had to have been nothing.

She set the bag under the scanner again. _Beep!_ Oh sure, now you work fast, she thought sarcastically. Her brown eyes moved to read the price, but not before being pulled away again.

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

Maren shifted her body so she turned around completely. Her head jerked back and forth. There was that voice again. It couldn’t have been Ella or Nani. They were both at the front of the store. How would Maren be able to hear them from the back? Did the voice even belong to either of them? Maren furrowed her brows. She took a step forward, waiting.

There was a lull.

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

She blinked. Almost instinctively she began to move forward towards the sound. It was definitely coming from the back of the store, but where specifically?

“Hello…?”

But this was silly. Just because there were no customers for Maren to help didn’t give her the right to stop what she was doing. She couldn’t just get paid to wander the store. No…she had to get back to work. She was about to turn when she heard it again.

_Ah ah oh oh oh oh oh_

It was…hypnotizing. Maren couldn’t be pulled away from it. Increasing her speed, Maren turned her head down each aisle she passed. No one was there. Maybe she was going in the wrong direction. No…. No, it was definitely coming from this way. It didn’t sound far at all. But where could that voice be hiding?

_Ah ah oh oh oh oh oh oh_

God that voice! It was almost like it was floating on air. As if from somewhere in the store there was a breeze flowing, just carrying the melodic sound towards Maren. She closed her eyes for only a moment, waiting to hear it once more.

_Ah ah oh oh_

It was soft. A different kind of soft from Ella’s speaking voice. But they weren’t the same. This voice sounded a bit higher. As if there were something more to it. Maren found herself thinking about the breeze analogy again. The wind was so light yet could move something so heavy. Or it could start out as a simple autumn breeze before steadily growing into a powerful gust. This voice…there was more to it. Maren was captivated. She had to know whom the voice belonged to! She had to hear more of it!

She ran until she stopped in the middle of the store.

_Oh oh_

It was close! Maren must have been right on top of it!

Her head turned to look down the aisle, and then behind her. Oh! There was a pair of doors behind there. That must have been where the deliveries were kept. Did one of the grocery trucks arrive? Was it one of the drivers? Or the stockers? Maren stepped forward, pushing the doors open. She was met with what almost looked like a long hallway. She glanced towards one side. Empty U-boats; for transporting totes or heavy items from the back to the front of the store. She turned to her other side. Cardboard displays, empty crates, and piles of soda packs. And further down, from what she could make out, the cooler and freezer for perishable deliveries. Her face fell. No one was back there.

_Ah ah oh oh_

Maren’s eyes widened. She was right on top of it! Spinning on her heel, she raced out the doors. There was no one in front of her – just the empty aisle and, at the front of the store, customer service. Her shoulders slumped. She shook her head, her braid slapping against her back in the process. Although there was the hallway to her right. Curiously, Maren stepped forward. Men’s room…. Women’s room…. Break room. As if there was going to be anyone in the break room anyway. Still, against her better judgment, Maren opened the door and poked her head inside. There was the table and a couple of chairs, none of which were occupied. In fact the only other thing in the break room was a microwave. And what appeared to be a couple of flies floating around.

Maren sighed in defeat. She closed the door behind her and leaned up against it. Closing her eyes, she imagined listening to the voice again. That glorious, beautiful, melodic, airy voice.

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

_Ah ah oh oh oh oh_

_Ah ah oh oh oh oh oh_

She wondered what the odds were of her hearing it again. Or if it was even real. Was it even possible she could have dreamt up something so beautiful? Maybe Ella was getting to her already. As if some strange, random, mesmerizing and angelic voice would just happen to echo through the store to raise Maren’s spirits knowing the situation she was in. Knowing the situation a lot of people were in. No way. It was definitely too good to be true. It was a fluke. It had to be.

Maren pushed herself away from the door and began trudging back to Aisle 2. She only paused to turn her head around to look behind her once more, as if someone would magically appear and continue to sing to her. Alas, it wasn’t meant to be.

But on that slim, off chance that the voice Maren heard actually existed? That someone really was singing?

Maybe it was only meant for her.

Maybe there was a reason she heard it.

Maybe there was some sort of angel amongst this apocalypse.

Whatever the case, whatever the reason, and whatever the hell was going on, Maren only knew she heard the most incredible and pure sound in existence. She loved that voice.

And she hoped that somehow she would have the honor of hearing it again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Consider this chapter the introduction to everything. Figure this takes place a month, give or take, prior to posting time. I don't expect everything to be completely accurate as opposed to just being accurate enough to make sense for the story. And since the idea is based off my actual job, the inner workings of Oaken's will probably be the most accurate thing about the story...for better or worse. (Spoiler, many of my night shifts even before this pandemic did revolve around putting throwbacks back on the shelves so, especially since going through them is the easiest time to communicate with coworkers, that will likely be a reoccurring theme in the story.) While I'm not as concerned as getting the characters' personalities exactly right, i hope that i'm hitting close enough to them so that they work for the modern setting while still being true enough to their cannons.
> 
> It wasn't until i sat down and started writing that i threw Nani and Cinderella into the story. There is a very strong chance i'll be adding more Disney characters to the mix as well, so i hope you all don't mind seeing them around. (Let me know if i should add them in the tags, by the way.) As far as the singing, it was tempting to even imply the voice (obviously inspired by the siren call in Frozen 2 because how could it not be) was Elsa, it felt too soon to do that. I hope you guys are as great as faking patience as i am, because this is going to be a VERY slow slow-burn! Don't worry though, there will be alternating points of view between Maren and Elsa. As of right now i don't know how much of Anna, Kristoff, and Ryder there will be outside of mentions (thanks social distancing!) but they're definitely gonna be around in spirit. 
> 
> I'm sure reading about these fictional characters working in retail isn't exactly what any of you guys thought you'd be reading and maybe it seems silly to most. That's another reason why i'm just choosing to write as i go. Working in retail is a completely crazy and unpredictable ride. But like i said, consider this my outlet and thank you guys so much for taking the time to put up with it. Everyone else who's working on the front lines of this mess, you're doing awesome! And if these fictional characters can do it (spoiler they can), then so can we. We got this. So, until the next chapter, i'll see you all on the other side of a register somewhere!


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to start by saying thank you so much for even giving the first chapter a read and anyone leaving kudos or comments. This is probably a very wrong thing to admit but i really wasn't expecting any sort of a responses. This is just me with the outlet i need...ok that i always need in my job...so to know that even a few people are enjoying it, thank you so much! :)
> 
> This isn't going to be a long chapter and we're sticking to Maren's POV for now. As of right now i don't expect there to be a ton of scenes or chapters outside of Oaken's but in this case, it's a normal occurrence to think you have a day off and go about your business before you're called in last minute. So it gives us a small glance into Maren's life outside of work. And gives me an excuse to write a sibling dynamic lol.

“Mare?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you eating a pop tart for lunch?”

Maren glanced down to the cherry pop tart in her hand. Steadily, she returned her gaze to her brother.

“Yeah. Why?”

Ryder stared at her dumbfounded. “There is no way that’s enough to qualify as a lunch!”

“We were out of my cereal last night and I didn’t feel like heating up chicken nuggets _again_ ,” she replied.

“What about mac and cheese?”

“None left.”

“Nachos?”

“Didn’t have the right dipping sauce.”

“Sandwich?”

“Last pack of bread we had was crushed.”

“Lunchable?”

She stared at him deadpanned. “Ryder we’re grown ass adults. You can’t expect us to get by on lunchables.”

“Well then they shouldn’t make them taste so good,” he pouted, folding his arms. “Besides they’re the easiest things in the world to make. You just take them outta the fridge and open them.”

“Hard no,” she insisted.

Ryder groaned. Pulling out the stool, he sat across from Maren at the island in the kitchen. Their place was small; the living room only consisted of a couch, TV, and small coffee table and was attached to the kitchen, which didn’t even have enough room for a real table. The island was the closest thing to a wall or divider between the two rooms. And though they each had their own bedroom, there was hardly enough space to fit a bed and desk. Ryder’s room would appear larger than Maren’s, but that was likely because his dresser took up less space than her desk. Even so, he hardly even used it to store clothes. Half the time his pants just ended up on the floor gathering dust until it was laundry day. Maren’s room was cramped enough that there wasn’t even a spot for a computer chair; her desk was placed directly next to her bed so she could simply sit on that while she typed on her laptop. No, the Nattura siblings didn’t have a lot of money or items to their name. And even less now considering how little the stores had when people who were better off were hoarding things left and right. But they had enough that they could get by. At least, now they did given the circumstances. They had a fighting chance, anyway. Once Maren would get her first paycheck the following week, she’d be able to cover rent. Anything Ryder may have brought home from his internship would have to go to food. Maren didn’t bother to think further ahead than that.

“Mare what’s the point even of working at Oaken’s if they don’t have any of the stuff we need?” he asked.

“Do you wanna keep having a roof over our heads or not?” she retorted.

He sighed. “Point,” he muttered.

Maren exhaled. She shook her head. “Sorry Ry. I guess I’m still getting used to everything. It hasn’t even been a full week and it’s already draining. I can’t even use today to bounce back cause I gotta sign on for my online class in an hour.”

“Is it really as bad as everyone says?” he asked hesitantly.

“Four days of retail can hardly compare to the years some people work there, Ry,” she replied.

“Why would people work in that for so long?” he replied.

“I _just_ started there, Ry. It’s not my business to get involved in everyone’s personal lives,” Maren said. “I don’t plan on actually becoming friends with these people.”

Ryder smirked. “Which means you’re totally gonna become friends with those people.”

Maren pursed her lips. “I think some of them will make sure of that.”

“Anyone cute?” he teased.

Maren winced. “What did I just about not becoming involved?”

“People meet at work all the time. Look at me and Kristoff,” he countered.

She narrowed her gaze. “You met in school, not work. And he’s in a committed relationship with his girlfriend.”

“He’s still bi. I can dream,” he folded his arms.

“It’s never a good idea for coworkers to get involved anyway, Ry,” she told him. “It gets messy. You become more focused on them than your own job. You go to work to work, not to spend time with your partner,” she replied. “Besides we don’t have the time or resources to get involved with anyone. We have to think about getting out of this pandemic in one piece. I have to figure out how to finish school, you gotta get more than just an internship, we have to save up for a bigger place, obviously pay Aunt Yelena back for everything she’s done for us, maybe treat her to something nice, make sure we can actually do something with our lives….”

“YOU MET SOMEONE!” Ryder exclaimed, cutting her off.

Maren’s eyes widened. “What??”

Ryder smirked. He confidently folded his arms and straightened his posture in his stool. “Yup. You _definitely_ met someone! You wouldn’t be so against the idea if you didn’t! Ok, dish! Guy? Girl? Tall? Short? Long hair? Short hair? Blue? Brown? Green?”

Putting her pop tart down on the napkin, Maren held up her hand. “Slow your role, Dr. Seuss. There is no one. I haven’t met anyone. It’s just coworkers.”

She technically wasn’t lying. There was the voice…but she only heard it that one time. She didn’t hear it again during her last shift. She didn’t even hear someone speaking who sounded similar. How could she describe a person she never saw? Let alone one that may not even exist?

Maren was trying to set an example for her brother. Even if she was only a few minutes older than him, she was still older. She had to be the strong one. How would it look if Ryder, her hopeless romantic of a man-child brother, saw her going gaga over someone that probably wasn’t even real? He’d turn it into some fairy tale story, likely another retelling of Cinderella. The world didn’t need another one of those. Hell, sometimes Maren could barely stand one of Ryder!

“Mare I know you. You haven’t been this defiant about a relationship since-“ he started.

“Shut. It,” she warned with a commanding voice and a glare in her eyes. She didn’t need to relive some failed high school romance which taught her not to close to people. That was why one-night stands were the best options. No feelings, no attachments, and one and done. She’d never have to worry about screwing something up. Chances of doing that were already high if she knew the person; imagine how much they’d skyrocket if she actually worked with them. That was exactly why she had to accept that the voice wasn’t real. The voice _couldn’t_ be real. If Maren knew what was good for her, she would stop trying to make comparisons and just let it go.

She exhaled and leaned back. “Sorry. About…the snapping.”

“No, I get it,” Ryder replied. “It’s just…” he sighed, “Mare, you work so hard. And you do so much for me. You could do something for yourself, too. It’s ok to get out there and find someone. And even if you did meet someone at Oaken’s, so what? You’re not gonna be there forever. What’s a few months compared to a lifetime?”

Maren blew her bangs out of her face, though that proved useless as they quickly fell back into place. “You’re such a romantic.”

“I have to be if you’re gonna be the realist,” he pointed out.

Maren’s look softened. She couldn’t stay mad at her brother. They were two ends of the same cloth, after all. “Well I can tell you this much. When they’re not being arrogant dicks, some of the customers can actually be cute.”

“And the coworkers?” Ryder inquired.

“A mixed bag,” she shrugged. “I only interacted with a couple of them so far. There’s a better chance of getting to know people after hours than during. The supervisor that’s there during the day? Total control freak. We have to look like we’re always doing something, even if there’s no one to help. It’s like, even if I wanted to have a conversation with one of my coworkers I’d get my head bitten off.”

“So what? You just stand there like some statue?” he asked, confused.

“Feels like it,” she said. “I don’t know how much of it is normal and how much of it is because of this virus. It’s ironic, too. You’d think the bosses would want us to have more space away from customers.”

Ryder blinked. “There’s more than one boss?”

“Well I know the place is run by Oaken and his partner. I only met Oaken though, when he interviewed me and gave me the job,” Maren explained. “I don’t know about any of the higher ups, though. Just that there’s two CDSH’s. One during the day and one at night. I didn’t meet the night one yet though.”

“But you’ve been there two nights already. Shouldn’t they be there?” he asked.

“You’d think,” she shrugged. “Maybe they’re the kind of boss who hides in the back and avoids doing work. Or they’re more off hands. Or maybe they’re so busy running around dealing with everything and trying to help everyone, I probably saw them and didn’t even realize who they were.” She took another bite of her pop tart and then glanced at her watch. “Anyway I should go to my room, get ready for my class.”

“And by get ready, you mean do a last second reading of the chapter you forgot to do?” he joked.

In Maren’s defense, she had every intention of doing the reading. She had the textbook opened last night, completely prepared to at least skim the chapter before bed and then do a more thorough reading this morning. But every time she started reading and sounded out the words it somehow turned into the melodic _ah ah oh oh_ pattern. And there that voice was in her head again. Dammit.

But Maren was not about to admit that to Ryder.

“You sure you’re not thinking about the time you almost flunked that one class?” she teased back.

Ryder’s jaw dropped. “One time! It was one time!” he yelled after her.

“Whatever.” Stuffing the last bit of her pop tart in her mouth, Maren retreated to her bedroom. She closed the door behind her and sat at her bed. She turned to her computer desk and picked up the textbook she had rested above her laptop earlier. Her finger slid across the top, finding the page she bookmarked. She was about to open the book when her phone started ringing. Shifting her body, she looked at the caller ID. Oaken’s. Sighing, Maren picked up her phone and clicked Accept.

“Hello?”

“Oh hey Nani. What’s up?”

“Tonight? … What time?”

Maren checked her watch.

“That’s cutting it a bit close.”

“Just cause I have to finish an assignment for tomorrow.”

She checked her watch again.

“I can definitely make it by seven. If I can get there earlier I will.”

She hesitated.

“Yeah…yeah, I can make six-thirty work.”

“No problem. See you then.”

She held in a sigh until she clicked Call End and saw her lock screen appear again. She should have known she was going to be asked to come in on her day off at some point. She just didn’t think it would be her first week. This was going to be an even crazier ride than she anticipated.

She opened her book to start reading.

A….

It was only the first letter of the first sentence of the first paragraph. But it was all Maren needed to take her mind off of everything.

A.

Ah.

Ah ah.

_Ah ah_

_Ah ah oh oh_

And just like that the voice played in her head once again.

Maybe tonight’s surprise shift would be another chance for her to hear it. To find out whom it belonged to. To see if she really was going insane. To see if the mystery figure was as gorgeous as the sound. To see if she could….

If she could….

Oh dammit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know what you're thinking, where the hell is Elsa? Don't worry, she is coming very soon! I'm trying to ease you guys into the craziness of retail with the help of Maren, since she's coming into this for the first time, too. This way you're kind of experiencing with her everything she's getting into. Ultimately, Maren's perspective is what i think a number of us working in retail go through; that we take the job because it's what we can get and some money is better than no money, that we don't expect to make it our lives or end up getting close to anyone. And if you remember my only plot description from last chapter, a huge focus of this story is on the coworker bonding and relationships. So sucks for Maren because Ryder is totally right and she's of course gonna become friends with those people! Plus it's the most social interaction anyone can get in this mess, so we gotta take whatever the hell we can at this point. Just don't think too hard into Maren's backstory...yet. It'll be a while before anything is revealed but the feelers are officially out there. (That being said if anyone wants to make guesses or predictions, feel free!)
> 
> I'd say to stay safe everyone, but that would be hypocritical. So instead i'll just say to keep hanging in there and i hope you'll keep sticking around in this madhouse story of mine. I wrote two other chapters on my day off yesterday so I can probably get one other chapter posted this week. After that everything depends on my hours and days off. See you on line!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As much as i would have liked to post this chapter yesterday i was attempting to do a bit more writing before work and lost track of time. It's been a bit difficult to get in the zone this week with my hours, so i take whatever time and muse i can. Anyway i just wanted to give a quick thanks to T2Boy2, fanficfruitts, Ravrav, and archie for the comments to let me know you guys are reading and i'm glad you're enjoying so far. And also thank you to anyone who's been leavings kudos. I'll admit this story is probably far from perfect and is primarily for my sanity...whatever that is...but to know that anyone does read it and like it, especially when i've probably written better, is definitely encouraging. But that can also be self confidence issues speaking. #Creativepersonproblems. Anywhere there's a lot more to come, starting with this chapter where we finally meet the other key player!

“Stuck in the Crap Corner?”

Maren turned her head to the sound of Nani’s voice. The woman was turned so she was clearly watching self scan, but her voice was directed at her coworker. Not that there was much to see; it was slow, at least for the moment. Ella had just come in about ten minutes ago and with a second register opened Maren was deemed unnecessary for the time being. She was instead instructed to at least organize the throwbacks and see how bad everything was. There was still just over three hours left before closing so there was still a chance things could change. Maren would probably have to go on for someone’s break at some point, but she was fine sorting through everything. It helped her learn where the items were meant to go. She was getting a better idea – Aisle 2 was chips and crackers, Aisle 4 was cereal, Aisle 10 was chocolates and candies, Aisle 8 was soda and juice, and Aisle 15 was frozen. Of course that was still covering the basics. She still was unsure if marshmallows qualified as candy or baking.

“Is that what we’re calling this now?” she raised an eyebrow, gesturing to the throwbacks.

Nani shrugged. “Let’s be real, half of the stuff that ends up here is bad or becomes damaged anyway. Might as well be crap.”

“Point,” Maren smirked. She took a look at the corner. There were only two wagons, one of which wasn’t even entirely full. “I don’t think it’s that bad…?”

Nani tilted her head to get a better look before focusing on the customer at self scan once more. “For now. There’ll probably be rejects from under the registers to grab later. And misfits on the shelves.” She pointed down Aisle 13. “Down by the bread earlier? I found a container of ice cream.”

Maren blinked. “What the hell?”

Nani nodded. “Some lōlō decided they didn’t want the tub after all and instead of walking just a little bit down to put it in one of the freezers, they stuck it behind a few hamburger buns and let it melt. A perfectly good Neapolitan gone to waste.”

“Shouldn’t people actually be concerned with saving food?” Maren asked placing a box of crackers in one of the bins. “I mean, just because they decided they didn’t want ice cream doesn’t mean they had to take it away from someone else.”

“Unfortunately I’ve seen worse than just a tub of ice cream,” Nani sighed. “The magazine racks by register three? Someone stuck three yogurts behind them once. The giant containers of oatmeal in Aisle 4? Behind there once was a half eaten bag of grapes; a classic dine and dash. The cooler in the back with the milk? At the very end of the frozen aisle? Someone put a bag of frozen vegetables in there. The frozen vegetables are literally three steps away from there and the customer chose to waste them by throwing them in a fridge instead of the freezer three steps away from them.”

It didn’t sound like much. It was only a few small examples that were a part of a bigger picture. And that picture was even worse. Maren clenched her fists at the thought of people willingly throwing food away. Food that could have gone to other people. Food that shouldn’t have been contaminated or thrown away because of some lazy people. Food that was gradually becoming more expensive because of how much of it was being marked as useless. Food that people needed to survive – now more than ever. It was one thing for people to be careless on a regular day-to-day basis. Maren didn’t expect that to change so easily. But now? With Covid-19 on the loose? Preventing people from going out to buy food? Making it a risk to interact with anyone, let alone touch anything? Causing people to go crazier than usual? This wasn’t the time to be wasting food. To be putting peoples’ livelihoods at more of a risk than they already were.

“Ugh! I hate people!” Maren declared.

Nani smirked and folded her arms. “Don’t let Radcliffe hear you say that,” she commented referring to the supervisor. “It might reflect badly on him.”

“Well then screw him if he’s ok with this shit show,” Maren muttered.

Nani turned around, and then looked back to Maren. “You’re lucky there’s no one behind the service desk right now. You’d be ready to lose that head of yours.”

“I’ll take my chances. Not like I’m actually insulting anyone here,” Maren commented.

“No but a customer can hear you and take it personally,” Nani pointed out.

“I won’t,” the man at self scan spoke. The women turned to face the older gentleman who was now packing his items. “I hate people, too. Spent my entire life working from home to avoid them. Would avoid them now if I could, too.” He placed his bags in his wagon and then moved closer to continue the conversation. “I was just in Shop Rite before I came here. Tried to get my hands on a pack of paper towels. Saw two guys fighting over the last one. One guy forced himself to cough all over it so the other wouldn’t take it.”

Nani looked as though she would puke at the disgusting revelation. Maren, on the other hand, was more furious than she already was. “Why? WHY? There’s just…there’s no…what the…. ARG!” She threw her hands up in frustration.

“It’s every man for himself, I’m afraid,” the man sighed. “Hang in there, ladies.”

“Aye,” Nani rolled her eyes, “easier said than done.”

“How can we just hang in there and keep letting shit like this happen?” Maren groaned. “Can’t we just tell people off when they’re doing something that stupid?”

“It’s a fine line we walk. We can’t yell at or accuse customers and we can only tell them no to something if it’s incredibly specific,” Nani replied. She waved her finger, signaling for Maren to come in closer. Maren did so, though made sure to still leave some distance. Essential workers could only maintain the six-foot rule for so long anyway. As Nani opened her mouth again, she lowered her voice to make sure no one else could clearly hear her. “We have a few creeds to follow, being stuck in a dump like this,” she then held up a finger as she named off each one, “B.O.B. – bottom of the basket. Always ask for ID’s. Never accuse; only ask. And, the one that’ll destroy us all, The Customer Is Always Right.”

Maren folded her arms. “Obviously not if they think it’s ok to leave behind ice cream and cough on something to claim it for themselves.”

“You know that and I know that. But if you asked someone like Radcliffe?” she shook her head. “Look, that guy is completely by the book. He’s got a strict, specific way of running the joint. If he heard we yelled at a customer, even if it’s for a good reason, he’d rush to the customer’s defense before taking our side. He wants to keep his authority here. He can do that if he tells the customers exactly what they wanna hear and let them get their way. And that guarantees they’ll come back and shop for more.”

Maren scrunched her face. That sounded almost as bad as the coughing customer. Telling customers what they wanted to hear no matter what? Taking their side regardless of what they said or did to another customer or even an employee? Trying to appease the public instead of his coworkers just to keep his position of power? What kind of boss was that? Hell, what kind of _person_ was that? Being so two faced as to throw the people he saw every day and relied on him to get the difficult questions or situations settled under the bus? How were any of them supposed to trust that guy if he was just going to turn on them?

“That’s the kind of person that proves exactly what’s wrong with the world. And why people like him have no right to hold any kind of power. For themselves or over anyone else. I can’t believe we actually have to work for a jerk like him!”

“Trust me, we’ve tried getting rid of him,” Nani sighed. “But Oaken can’t argue with the results this guy brings. And unfortunately, especially if it means keeping this place running and we keep our jobs, we’re stuck with him.”

“What I wouldn’t give to never have to answer to a sleaze like him again in my life,” Maren huffed. “Retail really is the lowest of the low.”

“Hey we’re not all as bad as Radcliffe,” Nani chuckled.

“It’s true. No one runs self scan the way Nani does. But not all of us are sleazes.”

Maren blinked at the new voice. Where did that come from? It was light, airy. There was the faintest hint of playfulness to it, yet some form of authority at the same time. Maren turned, as did Nani. Next to the service desk stood a woman around Maren’s age, platinum blonde hair tied back in a braid and a vest over her company shirt. She was leaning against a cart – likely of returns or damages, based on the plastic bag and opened box of cereal Maren noticed on top. She had the smallest crooked smile and raised a single eyebrow as if to imply she knew she was anything but a sleaze.

“Didn’t realize you came in already,” Nani commented. “We were just…”

“Complaining about Radcliffe again?” the woman finished knowingly. “It seems as though every day there’s a new story about him. Ella was just telling me before I clocked in how he gave her a hard time about her availability again.”

“He expects the poor girl to bend to his every whim. He pulls that crap on all of us sooner or later,” Nani said exasperated.

The woman straightened her posture. “Fortunately as long as I am here, you will not have to worry about being guilted into coming earlier than necessary.”

“Wouldn’t doubt you on that one,” Nani shook her head. “Oh! Did you meet Maren yet? She’s our newest victim.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Maren. I’m Elsa. The CSDH for the night shift,” she nodded in Maren’s direction.

Maren blinked. Oh! She was talking to her! The…. The nighttime supervisor. Shit. Maren had no idea what she was expecting out of that boss, but it certainly wasn’t a twenty-something year old goddess.

No! Not goddess.

Why did that always have to be the first thing she thought of when she saw a cute girl?

“Oh…. Hi. You, too.”

Dammit. Could she have sounded any plainer or stupider? Way to make a great first impression, she thought sarcastically.

“I hope you have not been scarred for life yet,” Elsa said. “We could use all the help we could get.”

Maren placed her hands on her hips. “Me? Scarred? Nah. I’m a tough girl. Thick skin, you know?” Ok, now she was just sounding cocky. Too far to the other side, Maren!

Thankfully Nani seemed to have Maren’s back. “Aye, no need to put on an act for Elsa. She’s one of the good ones. And trust me, I’ve seen a lot of bad ones.”

“You give too much credit, Nani. A superior is only as good as their employees. I’m afraid I have all of the good ones,” Elsa blushed.

“Just ignore that icy tone of hers,” Nani told Maren. “Girl can’t take a compliment to save her life.”

Icy? Elsa? Sure, she must have been nearly as pale as a snowflake but Maren didn’t sense anything cold in the woman’s voice at all. It was…. Maren wouldn’t go so far as to classify it as warm. Ella’s voice was warm. Elsa’s…it was soft. Which was ironic, considering the way she was standing. First she was leaning against the cart, as if to use it to keep her steady or maybe use it as a shield in some way. Now she was standing up straight with her hands clasped in front of her. Her voice might have been saying to come over, but her body was emitting a wall with a giant “keep out” sign.

“I don’t think it’s icy at all,” Maren complimented.

Elsa blinked. The blush on her cheeks seemed to grow temporarily, like she was thrown off. “Oh…. Thank you. That’s…that’s a first.”

“Yeah, you’re definitely in good hands with Elsa,” Nani teased.

Elsa shook her head. Clearing her throat, she gently pushed the cart towards Maren. “Um…if you could Maren, please add this to the collection of throwbacks. You don’t have to separate them right away; I’ll probably ask you to go on register soon to cover a break.”

“Oh…sure. I’ll take care of it,” Maren nodded as she nearly struggled to find the handle to grip. This was stupid. This was one of her bosses. Why did Maren need to be nervous around her just because she happened to be cute? She was just…caught off guard, that’s all. Maren hadn’t gotten to see Elsa for herself her first few night shifts and, having worked under Radcliffe for her first few days, she simply expected worse. But now she knew and she just had to accept that her boss was a pristine goddess.

Why did she just think that again? Dammit!

“Um…Elsa?” A faint, high-pitched voice came hesitantly from the other end of the store. The women turned to look in that direction. It was the teenager who was ringing on register two; she had a slight pleading look, from what Maren could tell. “I’m sorry to interrupt…could I just get a price check please?”

“Of course. I’m on my way,” Elsa nodded.

She took no more than a step forward before Maren found herself speaking up.

“I can do it. It’ll help me get a better lay of the land and then I can hop on for that break if you need.”

Elsa nodded to her. “Well alright then. I appreciate that. Go see what Snow needs. If she needs an override just come back to the service desk for me. If I’m not here, knock on the door to the cash office.”

“Got it,” Maren replied. She headed down to the register to see what her coworker needed. Snow, huh? As Maren came in closer she could see why the girl was referred to as such. Her skin was even paler than Elsa’s. Her dark curls were contained by a red ribbon, which seemed to nearly match the shade of her lips. Maren wouldn’t normally notice such a feature on a minor, but that was likely because it contrasted her skin tone so much. Even the color on Snow’s cheeks appeared to practically fade into a snow hue. “What’s up?”

Snow opened her mouth to speak, but the customer – a man surprisingly much shorter than Snow’s petite height – beat her to it. He picked up a family size pack of cookies and waved them at Maren, snapping with a bit of a French accent. “This! You have these advertised on sale for two for five! It’s _clearly_ marked two for five! But she says it’s $4.99. This is unacceptable! Do you really expect me to pay _more_ for my food in a time like this??”

Maren bit her tongue. Oh how she would have loved to give this customer a piece of her mind. Did he really think it was necessary to cause a scene over cookies? And to snap at a teenager like that? If she weren’t at work Maren would have gladly snapped right back at him and defended Snow to no end.

Holding in a breath, she held herself back. “I’ll just go double check the tag,” she instead offered, taking the cookies along with her.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bother you…” Snow started.

“Hey don’t give it a second thought,” Maren promised. “Be right back.”

Luckily she remembered where the cookies were – Aisle 10 with the candies. Though Maren wasn’t sure how much would be left or what might specifically remain on the shelves. The last time she put throwbacks away she noticed there were plenty of Oreo cookies but the Chips Ahoy were spread pretty thin. It had been even worse by the juices; no apple juice to the store’s name but plenty of Snapple. Maren wasn’t quite sure she understood anyone’s logic in grocery shopping right now, let alone in general.

Ok, $4.99, $4.99…. she thought as she glanced at the shelves. Maren figured that if that’s what the cookies were ringing up, she could compare it to the ones that were actually on sale and see if there was a difference. Oh, there it was! Maren leaned in closer, attempting to decode the acronym on the tag. FMLY…that must have been short for the family size. Perfect! She sat the cookies down on the shelf so she could take off one of her gloves and snap a picture of it on her phone. Damn gloves didn’t work on touch screens.

But now that the picture was snapped proving the correct price, which ones were actually on sale? Maren knelt down, skimming the tags that were highlighted a different color. And one of them clearly said two for five. Score!

And of course, there were no cookies left in that section. Maren took in the sight of the blank shelf before her. Nearly all of the cookies marked two for five were gone. Except for some coconut flavored ones…. Wonder why, she thought sarcastically.

Maren was never a fan of coconut.

Shaking her head, she took another picture and then, with the original pack of cookies in hand, returned to Snow’s register. If it were possible, the customer looked even more annoyed that he had to wait. The woman behind him seemed more invested on her phone, thankfully. At least not everyone was making a big to-do about this.

“Well?” the customer demanded.

Maren set the cookies on the belt and then showed him the two photos she took. “I checked the aisle. It was a bit tricky because a lot of the cookies were gone. But it looks like the ones that are on sale we’re sold out of.” She paused and zoomed in on the price tag from the first image. “See how this one read ‘family’? That’s referring to the family size, which are the cookies you have here. So they’re not the ones on sale.”

The man adamantly shook his head. “No, no, no! That can’t be right! It was _clearly_ over the two for five sign! I should be getting these cookies for $2.50! You have to honor the sign!”

Maren furrowed her brows. “We don’t have to honor something that isn’t right. These aren’t the cookies on sale, we can’t sell them to you for cheaper.”

“Well you should because that is where I found them!” he argued.

“Maybe we should get Elsa…” Snow suggested quietly.

Maren didn’t feel comfortable bothering Elsa over a customer that was clearly in the wrong. If Maren could only get him to listen to her and just simply say he wasn’t going to take the cookies, they could all move on. “We don’t…”

“No, please, get the manager,” the man insisted. “I want to complain about this! I’m sure she wouldn’t want to lose a valued customer over a box of cookies!”

Maren was suddenly taken back to Nani’s story of Radcliffe. Maren was unsure of how Elsa operated compared to him; she hadn’t worked with her enough to know how she was let alone even seen her in action. Nani may have said that Elsa was one of the good supervisors that existed, but there was no doubt that if Radcliffe was there he’d be taking the customer’s side and offering him a gift card or some sort of discount on top of it! Maren really didn’t want to see this jerk get off with no consequences.

“I’ll go ask for her,” Snow said quickly. She sprinted to the other end of the store, leaving Maren at her register.

The customer smirked at Maren and folded his arms. “I’m sure your manager will be pleased to know about you picking fights with a valued customer.”

“I’m only telling it like it is. I can’t change the signs,” Maren replied.

“Well if the manager doesn’t do anything then I’m sure corporate will!” he retorted.

Maren clenched her fists. She knew to take a customer’s words with a grain of salt. One complaint about the price of something would get him nowhere. Something so miniscule certainly didn’t have enough power to write someone up or get them fired. But it was only Maren’s first week. She was still in the trial period; it would be a couple of months before she was guaranteed protection by the union. After that she’d have to screw up royally to get fired, or choose to leave herself. Still, it didn’t change the fear he tried to instill in her. He spoke with such certainty and so much confidence, as if there was no way Maren, the new girl, would be trusted or valued over him, a longtime shopper.

“What seems to be the problem?” Elsa asked, walking over with Snow.

Again, before Maren could explain the customer cut her off.

“I saw these cookies on sale! They’re supposed to be $2.50 and they’re trying to tell me they’re not on sale. I saw them _right in front_ of the sale sign. You _have_ to honor the price.”

“What were they ringing up?” Elsa asked.

“$4.99,” Snow answered.

Elsa nodded and looked to Maren. “Were you able to find the cookies?”

“Yeah, I even took pictures of the tags,” Maren replied. She opened the photos on her phone again and showed them to Elsa. “The shelf with the cookies that are on sale are almost completely gone. Someone probably moved the larger size there to fill space or something.”

“That means it was still in front of the sign. I want them for $2.50,” the man reiterated.

Elsa placed her fingers on the phone screen, seeming to zoom in on the image. She muttered something along the lines of “I see”, keeping her face stoic as she studied the image. Lowering her arm, she glanced towards Snow. “Snow why don’t you take your break now? Maren will ring under your numbers until you return. We’ll finish this transaction.”

“Are you sure?” the teen wondered.

“I’m sure. Please, go enjoy your break. We’ve got this,” the blonde promised. After Snow left, Elsa returned her gaze to the man. Setting Maren’s phone on the belt, she showed him the zoomed-in picture. “This tag is clearly specifying the family size. I’m afraid it’s only the smaller size that is on sale this week. We cannot adjust the price for you.”

“But I found…” he started.

Elsa held a hand up, cutting him off. “I understand your feelings, sir, but please understand that at this time not every item will be in its correct space. Some items may be mismarked at times but, I can assure you, this is not the case. These cookies are priced at $4.99. If you do not want them we can void them off without a problem.”

The man’s jaw nearly dropped. He must have not been used to not getting his way. This had to have been one of the customers Radcliffe was always bending over backwards for to assure their business. “But the manager _always_ adjusts the price for me!”

“I’m sorry, but today I am the manager. And I am unable to do that for you,” she said simply. “Now, would you like these cookies or not?”

The customer stammered temporarily. Maren was almost certain she would have stammered, too, if she were able to. The way Elsa handled herself at someone who was so rude and insistent…it was almost like she carried herself with some sort of regal aura. The kind that, when she spoke, highlighted the authority that this was her store and her rules were law.

Maybe Maren was also surprised that she had taken her and Snow’s side so easily and without question. The Customer Is Always Right, Maren’s ass.

“I…I don’t want them! Take them away!” he insisted before jamming his credit card into the pin pad.

Elsa placed the cookies underneath the register. “Maren, when Snow comes back just double check under the registers for any other throwbacks. I’ll let you know after that what to do.”

“Uh…ok,” the brunette nodded. She turned to the register, quickly clicking the credit card option. Eyes widening, she quickly turned back to the CSDH. “Oh…and thank you!”

Elsa offered her a small smile before continuing on her way back to the service desk. “You’re quite welcome.”

Once the customer grabbed his bags and left in a huff, Maren quickly apologized to the lady behind him for the wait. Unlike him, this customer was much more polite and understanding. She said this was her only chance to get out of the house and, as much as she loved the extra time with her kids, it was nice to get a break for an hour or two. Maren couldn’t completely relate, but she did understand the sentiment. In a time where everyone was being told to stay inside their homes and could basically only leave if there was no one else around, grocery shopping was the only sense of normalcy anyone had. And even though continuing her classes allowed for some consistency for Maren, there was still a difference between doing everything at home and actually going to campus for classes.

The remainder of her fifteen minutes on register nearly seemed to drag on, if only because there were no other customers. Unless she counted the one who came in for a couple of red peppers. That was something Maren couldn’t wrap her head around – leaving the house willingly not because they actually needed food for the week, but for two measly red peppers? She didn’t understand it at all. Once she saw Snow approaching again, Maren stood up straight instead of leaning onto the register.

“Welcome back. How was your break?”

“It was fine. I am sorry I had to bother you before. I didn’t mean to cause any trouble…” Snow answered.

Maren shook her head. “Like Elsa said, don’t give it a second thought. I was happy to help. I’m just sorry I couldn’t yell at that customer for you. He was a dick.” She stepped aside to allow Snow to reenter.

“I didn’t want to fight with him, either,” Snow admitted. “It’s much easier telling my uncles off. They can be a bit….” She paused to search for the right words.

“Messy? Annoying? Forgetful? Needy? Grumpy? Dramatic? Dopey?” Maren offered.

Snow let out a giggle. “All of the above.”

“I get it. My brother’s the same way,” she nodded.

“I have seven uncles so it depends who I’m dealing with. But it’s different arguing with them than a customer. I can handle extra chores or staying in my room for an hour. But this is my first job and…” she explained.

“And you don’t wanna screw it up,” Maren finished. “Especially now, when it’s hard to please everyone. I guess that’s part of the job description, right?”

Snow nodded. “Thank you so much for helping me before. I really appreciate it.”

“All good,” Maren promised. She leaned down and pulled out the cookies from earlier, as well as a couple of other rejects from the shift. “Closing tonight?”

She nodded again. “I leave at eight and then I have to finish my homework for tomorrow. And study for a biology test. And work on a writing assignment.”

“Sounds like you got your work cut out for you. Same here.” Maren glanced at the time on the register screen. “But hey, only about two and a half hours left to go. We can make it. Right?”

“Right,” Snow smiled in agreement.

As Maren made her way back to the Crap Corner, she checked underneath the other registers. There didn’t seem to be much, although one register did have a discarded pack of water and Ella likely had a few things under her own. Maren made sure to dump what she already had in one of the carts before going back for the rest. She wasn’t able to interact too much with Ella save for asking how she was holding up, since she was in the middle of ringing a customer. Maren left her to work and then returned to the Crap Corner once again.

She hated to admit it, but Nani was onto something with that name. The crap really was piling up.

From the corner of her eye Maren noticed Elsa at customer service, finishing filling something out for a customer. Must have been a rain check or something. And with there seeming not to be too many people at the moment, Maren thought it might be a good opportunity to interact with her again. After all, this was going to be her boss during her night shifts. She may have hated Radcliffe’s guts but she certainly didn’t want to hate Elsa’s.

And not just because of her looks…because of how she handled the dick earlier.

“I’m back,” she spoke. Maren mentally scolded herself. Duh, of course she was back! “Um…anyway…thanks again for the help before. I didn’t think it was gonna get like that.”

“Some people don’t know how to take no for an answer,” Elsa commented.

“That guy acted more like a baby with a tantrum than anything,” Maren mused.

“Welcome to customer service. Consider that your proper introduction,” Elsa replied.

Maren raised an eyebrow. “Was that a joke I heard?”

Elsa shrugged before scribbling something down and setting it in one of the drawers behind the desk. “Perhaps.” She stood straight. “I must admit though, Snow seemed almost calm when she came over to me. You must have had an effect on her.”

The brunette blinked. “Me?”

“I don’t know if it was something you said, but Snow hardly seemed worried at all,” Elsa explained. “I believe she’s perfectly capable of handling herself. Snow is quite responsible for someone her age. But customer service is a difficult field for even adults to handle. I wouldn’t expect a minor to handle it with such ease.”

“I was just watching her back,” Maren brushed it off. “The guy was a shithead to her. She was just doing her job; there was no reason to give her a hard time.”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “And what if it continued?”

Maren blinked. “Why ask that?”

She shrugged. “You just had that look. Like you would have considered punching him or something.”

Maren pursed her lips. She wasn’t going to lie; the thought was extremely tempting. “If I say yes am I gonna get in trouble for it?”

“Not from me, you wouldn’t,” Elsa promised, stifling a giggle.

This was definitely not what Maren expected. It was a surprise for her to even remotely get along with a couple of her coworkers. But especially having worked directly under Radcliffe, seeing how he operated for just two days and hearing how he was the rest of the time, knowing the kind of boss he was…. And then there was Elsa. Something was different about her. How the hell could Maren be so comfortable around a supervisor of all people?

“Not all of us are like Radcliffe.”

Maren was jerked back into reality by Elsa’s comment. She spun her head back towards her with a puzzled look. How did she know what she was thinking…?

“This is a difficult business. We are all stuck here together. There’s no need to make it more difficult than it already is if we can’t stand who we’re working with,” Elsa continued.

Maren’s face fell. “I didn’t mean to judge. Or come off as judging. Just with some of the stories I heard…”

“We’ve all been there,” she assured her coworker. “But, the way I see it, a person in power is only as good as their employees. I don’t personally see myself as someone in a position of power, but the truth is I am. And I have to know when and how to use it to my advantage. Some exert their power over fear; because they have been below before and now that they have a taste they’re afraid to sink back down. Some are simply greedy, much like Radcliffe; they use it how they wish with little to no regard for the people around them. I know that under normal circumstances it can be difficult to come to work here every day. And now, we’re needed more than ever.”

“As if it were any different before,” Maren mumbled.

“Heard that,” the blonde teased. “My point is I know that if I had the choice I wouldn’t want to be in a position of authority. I’ve always been the kind of person who works alone. But I’m here now and this is how it is. And I’ve decided that as long as I do work here – a supervisor, CSDH, manager, whatever the title – I will not allow customers to treat my coworkers as less than. I trust and value everyone here. Nani knows every in and out of self scan; she has been watching it since it was first installed. Ella always comes in with the most positive attitude and not only agrees to stay late when asked, but offers to if she thinks we need even the smallest bit of help. And Snow may be hesitant to speak up for herself, still learning the ways of the world, but she is a total sweetheart. She’s one of the youngest ones here but does not let that faze her. If anything, it is dealing with customers like the one from before that cause hesitation.”

She paused thoughtfully. “Snow is only a few years younger than my sister. And I know that I would never tolerate someone snapping at her. And if I cannot stand the fact at someone treating my sister in such a way, then I wouldn’t tolerate it here with any of my coworkers either.”

In the mere half hour that Maren became acquainted with Elsa, she couldn’t seem to stop surprising her. The soft, airy tone of her voice. The way she carried herself. The manner in which she told a customer off while still coming across as respectful. The way she spoke about the people she worked with. Hell, she didn’t even refer to anyone as her employees. Elsa was a boss woman, yet she looked at everyone at Oaken’s as her equal. Listening to Elsa speak was almost as hypnotizing as that voice. Maren almost wondered if there was a connection. She thought of it again.

_Ah ah oh oh_

Similar tone, yes. But no, that couldn’t have been Elsa. That voice had been so much more open. It was almost like she _wanted_ someone to come after her. Elsa? Even with the desk separating her from everyone else, Elsa still kept her arms in front of her in some capacity. She wasn’t someone who was willing to let anyone else in.

Unless that’s what was so enticing about her.

“I guess I’m the same way with my brother,” Maren confessed. “He’s only eight minutes younger but I still have to look out for him. If it were him in Snow’s position before, I definitely would’ve punched the guy in the face.”

“Is that always your first response? To hit someone?” Elsa inquired.

“Only if they really deserve it,” Maren shrugged. “I just don’t like seeing someone get put down like that. Or not being able to defend themselves.”

“You want to protect people,” the blonde summarized.

“Pretty much,” she nodded.

“Well then it sounds like your brother is lucky to have you. A sister so ready to jump into the ring for him, or for anyone who needs it,” Elsa complimented.

The praise brought a smile to Maren’s face. She hadn’t been quite vocal about her life with her coworkers in the first week, but she was always content to talk about Ryder. Maren didn’t have a lot of family and she knew that Ryder would always be the person closest to her. She’d do anything for him. That was why she was at Oaken’s. That was why she worked so hard. That was why she felt the need to jump in the way she did. Not every Ryder had a Maren. She wanted to change that somehow.

“Thanks. And hey,” her smile grew wider and this time was aimed directly at her boss, “for what it’s worth it sounds like your sister’s lucky to have you, too.”

It was almost hard to tell if Elsa was blushing at the return. She turned her face to the side so quickly; her braid briefly flew in front of her cheek. She must have been trying to make it look like she was checking something on the screen, as if it was supposed to hide any embarrassment. Elsa really did let compliments slide off of her like a sheet of ice, didn’t she? No wonder Nani referred to her as icy before. But even so, Elsa still didn’t seem icy to Maren. Somehow Maren doubted someone like Elsa could be so cold in the first place.

Maren flinched when she felt a nudge to her side. It was Nani’s elbow poking at her. “Hey Casanova, save the flirting for after hours.”

Maren’s eyes widened. “What??” she gasped.

Almost as soon as she said that, she heard a swish. Maren turned and just barely saw Elsa’s braid disappear into the cash office. The door closed behind her and Maren threw her head back in frustration.

“I was so not flirting!” she complained.

Nani chuckled. “Chill, I’m only teasing you.”

“Your teasing scared her away.”

“Elsa always does that.”

“With her coworkers?”

“Yeah. She knows not to take everything I say seriously.”

“But what if…?”

“Maren, you’re fine,” Nani promised. “This’ll all blow over by your next shift. Don’t take it personally. Elsa just isn’t a social person. She’s fine; you’re fine.” She was temporarily distracted by a customer at one of the self scans waving her over. She held up a finger to them before looking at Maren one more time. “But the next time you actually flirt with her, try to keep it subtle. Kay?”

“I wasn’t flirting!” Maren yelled after her coworker. Groaning, she folded her arms. “I’d know if I was flirting. That was definitely not flirting,” she muttered.

“Sure you weren’t!” a random customer laughed sarcastically, passing her by.

“I was _not_ flirting!” Maren insisted angrily.

Was she...?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There was a lot happening in this chapter, wasn't there? I'll start with the sad truths - yes, people do leave stuff behind where they don't belong to let the food go bad; yes i have found ice cream (among other perishable items) on a random shelf and a customer once complained to me that they saw a tub of melted ice cream; and yes, customers complain on a daily basis about an item that's "supposed" to be on sale when it's in the wrong spot and argue about why they should get it for that price. Also, yes, there are a TON of bad supervisors out there. I've had a few in the past where the boss does jump to the customer's defense or bow to their every whim and treat us, their workers, like crap. When referencing a boss person like that i was trying to think of a believable Disney villain that does try to make themselves or their ideas seem better but might also be too lazy to do the actual work. Radcliffe came to mind, although i hope to hardly ever write him specifically here.
> 
> I was excited to add Snow White in though. Not sure if it's cause i love her personality or because in my daydreams of writing this she just appeared there. But she's someone i definitely look forward to adding more with, hopefully building some kind of sister-like relationship with her and Maren or Elsa. It is gonna be interesting though to write Elsa this way. There's no doubt she'd be a boss woman, i think it's just her being a retail boss woman of all things. But everyone has their reasons! Even though this is the first time Maren's seen her in action (which likely wouldn't happen during an actual shift, you'd always see a higher up at some point), you will definitely be seeing more of Elsa now. The trick here was to introduce her without giving more than with Ella and Nani, since even though logically the voice had to be Elsa the narrative probably shouldn't make it blatantly obvious. Right now, making it obvious Maren thinks Elsa is cute (and a goddess because have you SEEN Elsa?) is probably enough.
> 
> Thank you for giving this a chance so far, and hope you continue sticking around for this mess/adventure/story/retail life. I've got a shift to get ready for but i will post again on my next day off. Stay inside and watch some Disney!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it's ok with you guys - and feel free to skip this first chunk of notes and jump right into the chapter - i just wanna give a shotout and thanks to the kudos and comments so far which maybe i'll do at the start of every chapter not sure yet? But anyone who is and continues to leave comments this is my way of showing that i promise i'm reading them and this is basically my chance to respond to them!  
> @fanficfruitts i'm so glad you're still enjoying this, welcome to a fictionalized version of the retail life i sort of wish i had because Elsa but don't LOL.  
> @Archie i loved your comment on the last chapter! Rereading it before posting i almost thought the flirting was too obvious which resulted in the extra little dialogue on the end so she'd really be in denial about it...but considering this is the person who basically told Elsa after like a day of meeting her to screw Arendelle and move into the Enchanted Forest with her, Casanova is very accurate for her! So i'm very glad you enjoyed that!  
> @Ravrav i promise it takes longer than two chapters for me to stop writing something...believe me, i got through like 50 chapters of writing a High School Musical fanfic before just dropping it completely. But you getting invested in the scene with the customer must mean i'm writing something right so thank you so much for that and also that i am so sorry you've also had to deal with people like that in the past. I wish i had supervisors who were so willing to not give a customer what they want because they won't shut up. I'm also sorry in advance for any retail horror stories i'm making you relive through reading this! But if it makes you feel any better there will obviously be plenty more Elsamaren interactions to come!
> 
> We now return to your semi-if-not-very-sporadically-regularly scheduled update!

Another day, another step further into the abyss.

At least, that’s what it always felt like working in retail. But with Covid-19 showing no signs of slowing down and little seeming to be done to help the situation, abyss felt like a fitting word.

Although apocalypse sufficed as well.

Kristoff would agree with the former, as he swore apocalypse should always be prefaced with zombies.

Elsa wouldn’t say she completely disagreed. She was never one for horror movies, or even monster movies…. Unless a Scooby-Doo marathon on Halloween counted. She blamed Anna for that. Still, even if she didn’t have any expertise on the genres, she knew enough that zombies only had brains on their minds. If zombies had minds, anyway. Were brains and minds the same things in zombie cannon? It didn’t matter. But much like zombies, customers now only seemed to have a few select things on their minds.

Toilet paper.

Water.

Eggs.

Touch nothing.

Survive.

It almost felt like a mindless pattern now. It had gotten the point where Elsa suggested to Oaken they begin putting up signs. While they weren’t at the point where they had to separate everything just yet, steps had been taken. Each register now had a sign specifying what items had a limit of two per household. Customer service specifically had a sign stating that customers could no longer bring in empty bottles for returns and that all grocery deliveries were to be determined.

Unfortunately it didn’t stop customers from trying. Just the other night before closing a customer called to ask if they could bring in their bottles and to exchange something. Oaken’s hadn’t changed their return or exchange policies as of yet, so Elsa could only tell them to try in the morning. And then, after closing, another customer called multiple times to ask if a grocery truck came in yet with paper towels.

Sighing, Elsa leaned her head back against her car seat. She didn’t want to go into the abyss just yet. The parking lot may have been a mess, but her car was peaceful. In there she was safe. No one to bother her. No one to get in her space. No one to yell for help or force her to interact with anyone. Elsa didn’t realize how much she truly loved moments like this until the pandemic hit. At least before it did, as crazy as working in retail still got, she knew exactly what to expect. She knew the routine. Sundays would be the worst, holidays and snowstorms meant the end of the world, and somehow the store would always be out of party cake ice cream. But at least then she didn’t find herself working nearly as much. She would always have a chance to take some time to recuperate. Now? That was completely out the window.

Grabbing her bag, Elsa removed her keys from the ignition and stepped out of her car. As she approached the entrance, she reached into her bag to take out her gloves for the shift. As if on cue her phone vibrated, signaling a text message. Elsa smiled seeing her sister’s name come up under the notification. Some things never changed, thank god. Anna of all people knew how antisocial Elsa could get and never hesitated to send her some sort of encouraging text before her shift. Now with Elsa working every day, almost like clockwork before entering the building, Anna would text Elsa.

_If a customer gives you a hard time, just imagine dropping a giant snowball on their head!_ 😝  _Love you sis_ ❤️ 💖 💜

The message brought a smile to Elsa’s face. What would she do without Anna?

Her oceanic eyes fell to the doors again. Another day of retail hell. If Elsa had her way, this would be one thing Anna would never have to resort to doing. Even if Anna would be completely fine, being in her zone interacting with people nonstop, Elsa knew how horrible some people could be. She would be the first to admit how abusive the field could get. She would never put Anna through that, let alone wish it on her worst enemy.

Well, maybe she would, if she were being honest. But they’d have to be pretty deep in the gutter to deserve this.

Elsa held her gloves in her hand as she stepped inside. Everything seemed organized…for the time being. There was a line starting down Aisle 6 waiting for registers and, as she made her way towards the service desk, Elsa could see a few customers waiting near Aisle 12 for self scan. There were three registers open for the time being; Elsa would have a look at the schedule once she settled in and see who else would be coming in for the evening shift. Worst case she’d have to ring herself for a while. Though, she hoped it wouldn’t come to that.

“Ah, Elsa, good afternoon.”

“Hello Cogsworth,” Elsa nodded. She entered her ID number into the time clock beside the desk. “Radcliffe called out, I take it?”

Cogsworth was Radcliffe’s backup, in a word. If Radcliffe ever called out or simply didn’t show then Cogsworth, who was there almost every morning until three, would take over his job. If Elsa was being completely honest, she preferred Cogsworth to Radcliffe. As detail-oriented, perhaps borderline OCD, as Cogsworth could be at least he was easier to work with. Unlike Radcliffe, Cogsworth didn’t bow to every customer’s silly whim or put the employees through hell. He was strict, yes, but never raised his voice in anger. Elsa wouldn’t go so far as to say that Cogsworth knew every in and out of the store, but he came pretty damn close.

“Oh, you’ll absolutely love this one,” the plump man rolled his eyes.

Elsa leaned an arm against the desk. “I’m bracing myself.”

Cogsworth tapped his fingers against each other. “He claims to have gotten into a car accident.”

Elsa blinked. “Excuse me?”

“And that he had to go to the hospital,” he continued.

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “I’m sorry. I’m confused. I thought Radcliffe didn’t drive. And hospitals were only taking emergency cases. Is Uber or Lyft even still taking customers…?”

“I don’t believe his story for a second,” Cogsworth shook his head. “Radcliffe immediately said to tell Oaken he won’t be in tomorrow either. Which means…”

“That we are going to be the ones to pick up the pieces for the next few days at least,” Elsa concluded.

“As it always is with that man,” he rolled his eyes.

Elsa scoffed. “That son of a…”

Nani passed by them on her way to assist a customer at register eight. “If you don’t wanna curse him out, I know plenty of substitutions in Hawaiian.”

“Thank you, no, Nani,” the blonde declined. She shook her head and asked Cogsworth, “So what is the plan?”

“Well I can cover for him tomorrow but the day after that I’m off. I have a very important birthday party to attend on Zoom and I shan’t miss it,” he said.

“Of course,” Elsa nodded. “Your…nephew, is it?”

“He might as well be. I’ve been friends with his mother for years. Oh I miss the little tyke,” he answered.

Elsa’s face fell. She had her own feelings about the quarantine outside of work. Job, school, or whatever Elsa had to focus on in her life, she didn’t leave much room for socializing. In fact she preferred to keep such activities to a minimum. She only hated that she could hardly see Anna. She missed their Friday game nights. Their movie marathons over m&m’s and popcorn. Their lunch or dinner dates. Their sister time. Anna was the one person Elsa always wanted to keep in her life. But now she couldn’t do anything more than text her. And, if she wanted to see her face, she’d have to resort to FaceTime or Zoom. It wasn’t the same. Even if there could be a way for Elsa and Anna to spend time together, Elsa would never risk it. She interacted with too many people on a daily basis. There was no way of knowing if any of them were infected or had at any point come in contact with the virus. Elsa would never risk her sister’s health even over a simple possibility.

“I know exactly how you feel,” she sighed. “I miss my sister, too.”

Cogsworth sighed. “Well, we can only hope this will all be over soon.”

“Not soon enough,” Elsa shook her head. But this wasn’t the time to mope. She was at work now and on the clock. Elsa could only take so much time to herself. “I should get settled.” She started into the cash office, but stopped herself. “Oh! Do you know if anyone else is coming in tonight?”

“I believe Maren is scheduled to come in at five. You can put her on Snow’s register. I’ll bring in the till for you from register six. With any luck you won’t need it anymore tonight,” he said.

“Boss man!” a call came from one of the cashiers.

“Oh great. Fred again,” Cogsworth mumbled. “I’ll go take care of it.”

Elsa watched him reluctantly go to help the cashier before turning to see Nani dashing between two different self scans. “Oh…Nani do you need any help?”

“I got it, Elsa. You take a minute,” she promised.

“Are you certain?” the blonde inquired.

Nani smirked. “Hey I take my sister’s camera to get developed on a monthly basis. Trust me, if I can handle the comments about the pics, I can handle this.”

Not one to argue, Elsa opened the door to the cash office. She stepped inside and leaned against the closed door. She just needed one more moment. Everything was fine; it only looked worse than it was. It felt worse than it was. So the other CSDH was jerking out of his responsibilities…again. That should not have been a surprise. And they were only going to have three cashiers for the remainder of the night. They’ve gotten by on fewer. Self scan was being overwhelmed by customer after customer. That was a typical Sunday…even if it wasn’t Sunday.

But everything was fine.

She exhaled. She hated this…hiding.

Even if no one else would call it that, it sure felt like she was. Anyone who’s worked with her consistently knew that when she came in, she only needed a few minutes to herself before taking over running the store. There were so many people, so many variables, so many horror stories…. But it was fine. She was fine. So it got a bit overwhelming sometimes. She simply had to remind herself that this is what she signed up for. This wasn’t a forever thing. It was a job to survive the pandemic. It was a job to pay back student loans. It was a job to pay her rent. It was a job to save for supplies. It was a job to help support Anna, if she ever needed. It was a job. Elsa was grateful to be working. And she was grateful that she was trusted enough to essentially run the store.

Perhaps that was an exaggeration. She only had to watch the service desk, answer phone calls, fill out rain checks or other forms, override certain orders, assist the cashiers, help at self scan, fix self scan if anything happened, clean the registers, take care of throwbacks, count the tills, check for prices, deal with complaints, get everyone out by closing, take note of any and all damages, make sure no one stole anything….

Oh crap that was a lot!

But she was fine. It was simply her anxiety talking. She couldn’t let it overrule her now. Elsa just had to remind herself that she was safe at her job. The current abyss that was steadily becoming the new normal was the thing to cause anxiety.

Opening her eyes, she looked down to the gloves. Slowly, she put one on her left hand. She felt her hands cringe slightly at the touch. Every time she put them on it felt like she had to conceal a part of herself. It felt like a strange analogy; in a sense, she always had to conceal a part of herself when she was on the clock. She couldn’t let on how nervous or antisocial she could really be. She couldn’t let her guard down for a moment. She couldn’t let any customers break her or judge her. Maybe it was seeing the gloves and actually putting them on. Thinking was one thing; a physical embodiment was something completely different. She hesitantly slipped the second glove on. Just something else she had to contain….

A knock suddenly came from behind her. Elsa squeaked and jumped back, pulling her hands into her chest.

“It’s just me,” Cogsworth said from the other side. “I’ve got the till.”

“Oh…I’m sorry!” Elsa apologized. Turning around, she opened the door and held her arms out to take the register drawer from him. “I can count it for you. You head home.”

“Are you sure?” he asked. “I can direct the customers until you come out.”

She shook her head. “It’ll only be a few minutes.”

He sighed. “Very well. I will call you tomorrow when I hear more about Radcliffe and his so-called story. But be warned, you may…”

“Have to work a double,” Elsa exhaled knowingly. “I will handle it. Thank you, Cogsworth.”

She closed the door and set the drawer down, preparing to count the till. Elsa refused to let her mind wander during that time, focusing only on making sure the correct amount was in place. It was the one thing that couldn’t be interrupted nor that she could afford to be thrown off of. It appeared it was going to be another trying week.

Very briefly, as she finished the bills and prepared to move to the change, Elsa allowed her eyes to wander to her purse. She could see her phone sticking out from it and thought back to the text message from Anna. Imagine a giant snowball on peoples’ faces, she thought. For that one moment, likely the only one that would occur her whole shift, a smile was brought to Elsa’s face.

What she wouldn’t give to make that a reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now that we've had a few chapters from Maren's point of view and introducing this hell of a world i figured it was time to see Elsa's side of things. As far as her being the boss lady goes, her duties and what she does specifically is based off my most basic knowledge possible of what my supervisors have to go through. So keep in mind not everything about Elsa's job specifically will be as accurate as say, Maren's, but many stores are run differently with how many people work at once, who's there, who does what, so on and so forth, and Oaken's is no exception.
> 
> As much as i'd love to say the story about getting into a car accident is fake, it really isn't. I once had a supervisor use that excuse as to why they couldn't come in which was very ironic since they don't drive. Three days after that the supervisor came back to work with a different story as to why they missed their last few shifts. So sadly, yes that is a story someone used to get out of work. As for the rest of this chapter, i felt it was best to keep things simple with Elsa to start off with. In general, Elsa is someone who is definitely more closed off and i didn't want to reveal too much with her at once compared to Maren who is probably definitely more open...ok fine, almost everyone else is probably definitely more open than Elsa. She just gets so logical and in her head but we still love her! And yes, those were references to Fred from Big Hero 6 and Chip from Beauty and the Beast there.
> 
> I have a full schedule this week so i'll likely only be able to get one more chapter up before or by the weekend. I wish i had more time to write more chapters but that's going to prove a bit difficult this time around. I'll see what i can do but i promise the next one i have written is much longer so hopefully that'll be worth the wait. So until next update i'll see you on the other side...or, sort of since we'll all be wearing masks or scarves!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This week has been INSANE. The plan was to upload this chapter yesterday after my shift but at no surprise to me i was asked to work late. And i had to wake up for a early shift this morning which meant there was no time to do anything except shower and eat dinner. So i'm sorry the update is a day late but it's a longer chapter...much longer, i think...complete with actual Elsamaren interactions so hopefully that makes up for almost a week!  
> @Andreu - i'm glad you're enjoying the story and it's your happy place because trust me, my retail job is NOT my happy place LOL! Welcome back to your happy place, make yourself comfortable!  
> @fanficfruitts - Thank you so much! :) Hopefully that means you'll really love this chapter then!  
> @Ravrav - i'm so glad you think i got Elsa right. i can't say how true i'll stay to her, or that even i think i'm staying true to her, but the parts of her i definitely want to get right are her introverted-ness and her compassion. And especially since i've only written a couple of oneshots with her so far, writing Elsa is definitely a work in progress! As far as the retail stories go can i borrow your confidence and comfort? LOL. i'm much better at customers giving me a hard time now, but i definitely don't want them yelling at me and i sure as hell don't have it in me to even pretend to be a manager. So major props to you for getting through that every single time! i relate to you dealing with all those different types of clients on such a high level! Also i'm sorry for how long you're gonna have to sit through watching Elsamaren be dragged out! lol
> 
> Now sit back and enjoy being dragged through this chapter!

If hell existed, it most definitely would have looked like a retail store. Elsa was even more convinced of that after the shift she had today. It wasn’t very often that anyone at Oaken’s went over working eight hours a day. Elsa had done an eleven-hour shift on two separate occasions. The first was Super Bowl Sunday last year; she had gone in at noon and ended up working until eleven because it had been so busy and there were so many throwbacks to do. She’d done it with only one fifteen-minute break. The second instance was a few years back, not too long after she started working at Oaken’s; she came in for a morning shift with the intention of spending her night completing an assignment for grad school. The threat of a snowstorm hitting that day brought everyone in town into the store and, by the time the snow came in full force most of the staff called out. Elsa was the only one who stayed. She had ended up sleeping in the break room that night because, by the time everyone was done shopping and anyone left had wanted to drive home the roads were closed off.

But this was the first time Elsa not only worked over an extra hour as a CSDH; it was also her first time working a double.

When she conversed with Cogsworth the day before, he revealed Radcliffe wasn’t coming in for the rest of the week. Elsa was unsure how he was going to be handled specifically, as this was far from the first time Radcliffe skipped out on his responsibilities with an ‘excuse’, but she knew that she was the only other person capable of running everything. Theoretically Nani could work as Elsa’s backup during the evening; but Elsa feared that would be unfair. Nani had not needed to watch the store or run everything for more than a half hour a few separate times. On top of that, there was no one else who would have covered self scan for her. There was no way the store would be able to handle the countless customers that came barging through with only three cashiers and no self scan. Elsa would never put her coworkers through that kind of stress. There was more than enough of that on a regular basis. She felt there was no choice but to suck it up and handle the double.

Unfortunately it proved to be a bigger challenge than she realized.

It was one thing simply trying to wrangle all the customers into two separate lines. Elsa had raised her voice as high as it could go, hoping to attract the attention of everyone passing by. The line for registers began at the head of Aisle 7, and the line for self scan in Aisle 12; wait to be directed to an available machine. Elsa had gone so far as to signal for Nani to make an announcement while Elsa played traffic cop. Thank god self scan was right near customer service; Elsa mentally thanked Oaken for creating the setup that he did.

If only that had been enough to get the point across.

Elsa lost count of how many people blatantly ignored the announcement as well as Elsa directly in front of them, and forced their way to the register they thought would be the shortest wait. What made it even more challenging was when Elsa had to step away from the line to assist her coworkers. Keying in an override for an age restricted item on Snow’s register; having to void off a $50 ham a customer claimed was on sale and didn’t want it if it was going to be that much; trying her hardest to run back perishable frozen items to Aisle 15 customers no longer desired; cleaning up a glass spill in Aisle 12; the list went on.

It proved to be even more of a challenge when Elsa had to hop on Snow’s register so she could take her break. Every time a customer approached one of the open registers, Elsa or either of her other coworkers had to yell at them to wait down Aisle 7. And, even on register, it didn’t hold Elsa back from needing to help her coworkers further. When an item scanned Not On File at Ella’s register, Elsa rushed over to help; naturally with no one else to run back and check the price, Elsa had to bs something on the spot and enter it. She hoped $1.50 was a decent price for a personal size pizza; she didn’t even know Oaken’s sold mushroom pineapple pizza! Then on Maren’s register…oh god, the torture that woman had to go through! Elsa didn’t even have time to register how bad it was for either of them until well after, let alone have a chance to apologize for snapping at her the way she did.

Not that there would have been a chance to even think about it or what she would say. There was one customer who was putting up an argument about the sodas. How he swore up and down the 6-pack bottles of Coke were buy two get one; that there were signs all down the aisle stating it was so. He gave Ella such a hard time about it too, no matter how politely she tried to explain he was just misreading something. Even after Elsa went to check for herself and returned saying it was the 12-pack cans of Pepsi that were the ones on sale, it still wasn’t enough for the customer. He ended up cutting in front of Ella’s line ten minutes after paying and shoved the sign in front of her face proving he was right.

Except that it was the sign stating that _Elsa_ had been correct.

He threw the sign down and stormed out in a huff.

And then there were the many times Elsa ran back to the service desk to assist a customer or answer the phone.

Are you accepting bottle returns?

Do you know if you have X item in stock?

Do you know when you’re getting more of X item?

When’s the next delivery?

Can you write a rain check?

Can I cash a check here?

Elsa could go on.

To say she was exhausted after all that was an understatement. She had never felt more people-averse than she did this particular day. She couldn’t duck into the cash office after the store closed soon enough. Even after she finished counting the tills, she couldn’t bring herself to go back out there. Hell, how she even made it that far along was a miracle alone! If the coworker watching self scan earlier hadn’t graciously agreed to stay fifteen extra minutes while Nani covered a break for Elsa, the blonde would have likely passed out on the floor at some point.

With the tills away and her back leaned against the door, Elsa quickly removed her gloves. She took a few fast breaths, not realizing for how long she was holding back for. It felt like she had been under water the entirety of her shift and now she could finally come up for air. But she couldn’t let her coworkers see how it was affecting her. How overwhelmed she was. Elsa did this on a daily basis; it just so happened this particular day was twice as long. If she could handle every other day, she could handle today as well. She just had to….

She exhaled.

Conceal it, don’t feel it.

She leaned her head back against the door, staring up at the ceiling. The thought took her back. It was what she always had to do; conceal don’t feel. She had to show strength. She had people counting on her. She couldn’t let anyone down. She couldn’t risk anyone seeing her vulnerable in any capacity. She had to hide herself so much growing up, even from Anna. And now she was doing it again. Elsa didn’t necessarily care that she had to hide herself from people; she would be completely fine if she could lock herself away from them forever. But when it came to the people she dealt with every day? The ones that counted on her? The ones that trusted her and relied on her? The ones that she respected? It felt wrong to hide from them.

For all her talk of acting as someone who treated her employees as equals, she certainly wasn’t holding up her end. Not if she thought like that.

Elsa sighed. She couldn’t continue to hide in the cash office. Even if it was after hours. There was still work to be done and she had to do her part. She was just going to have to go out, do her job, and deal with her coworkers. She’d seen the way everyone looked at Radcliffe when his back was turned; he was the kind of superior everyone hated reporting to. Maybe Elsa was going to have to get used to being looked at that way as well.

Here goes, she thought.

Turning around, she placed her gloves back on her hands and turned the knob. She exited the cash office and saw Nani cleaning one of the self scans while Ella, Snow, and Maren were organizing the throwbacks. Gulping, Elsa clasped her hands in front of her. She cleared her throat, just loud enough to garner the attention of her coworkers. Naturally, once eyes were only on her Elsa nearly froze. What now…?

“Hey.”

Some greeting.

“Hi,” Snow was the first to speak up. And, as expected from her, with a sweet smile. “We were just attempting to separate the throwbacks.”

“We’ve got a whole system going here,” Maren added. She gestured to each cart that was in the process of being set up as she spoke. “Check it. We got damaged goods here, and damaged frozen here. Produce in this cart, some chips on the bottom for now, but only if it gets to be too much. Cereal here, and the huge items here….”

“We’re thinking this cart might be for the bread once we finish going through it,” Snow finished as she pulled out another wagon.

“I got some carts lined up on the other side of self scan for us to go through so we wouldn’t be overcrowded here,” Nani commented as she tossed a paper towel into the nearby garbage. She cringed at the amount of carts at their disposal. “Though, I don’t think that’s gonna do much anyway…”

“Snow and Maren have the sorting under control,” Ella said. “I’m just trying to keep the damages together. There’s been a…slight habit…of finding spoiled food later on.”

Elsa blinked. She was not surprised at how resourceful her team was. She supposed though, it helped that they got on so well. What was shocking to her was how she became so fortunate to call them her coworkers. And at how much they could actually get done together. Working with them compared to the time in her life when she was only available mornings was like night and day…pun not intended.

“That’s….” She was at a loss for words at first. That is, until it sunk in just how many wagons were before her. “How many carts of throwbacks do we even have?”

“Including the ones sorted?” Ella inquired.

Nani scoffed. “Too fucking many.”

“Nani, Snow is here,” Ella politely reminded her.

“It’s alright,” the teen promised.

“No, no, Ella’s right. That bomb was directed to the lōlō customers, not at you. So I take my fuck back.” Nani looked to Elsa again. “Too fricking many,” she corrected.

Ella pointed at the Crap Corner, then towards the side just past the last self scan machine, and finally at the other end of the registers. “Two damaged, six sorting, two more here, about five or six there, and three or four there unless there are any others left in the store. I did see someone storm out furiously at the last announcement, so I’m not sure if they left a cart behind or not….”

“I’ll check when I’m done cleaning,” Nani offered. “While I’m at it I’ll walk around and search for more damages on the shelves.”

“Please and thank you, Nani, but don’t overexert yourself,” Elsa said.

“Don’t overexert _myself_?” Nani retorted.

Ignoring the reply, Elsa turned to Snow. “Snow, were you not supposed to clock out at closing?”

“I don’t mind staying to help at all,” the teen promised.

“That may be, and it is appreciated, but you are still a minor. We can’t have you staying too late or going over a certain number of hours,” the blonde reminded her. “Let me clock you out, leave everything to the rest of us.”

“That goes for you, too, Ice Queen,” Nani commented.

“I’m sorry?” Elsa raised an eyebrow, keying in the override number at the time clock.

“’Don’t overexert yourself.’ ‘Leave everything to us.’ Those are the things we should be telling you right about now,” Nani replied.

“I’m only…” Elsa started.

“Nah, nah, nah. I’m not done with you yet,” Nani shook her finger. She stomped the spray bottle on one of the registers and folded her arms, narrowing her gaze at her boss. “You’ve been working your ass off all day. You were here opening the damn store. You ran back and forth between here and there, registers and the desk, lines and aisles, self scan and registers. If I didn’t give you a break when I did when would you have sat down for even two minutes? Hell, would you have even been willing to walk away to go to the damn bathroom?”

Elsa held her hands up, about to speak, when Maren decided to jump in on the conversation.

“I’m with Nani on this one. I know you’re our boss and everything. And we’d be screwed without you. You worked all day today. You did more than what half the people around here would do. And you treat us a hell of a lot better, too. This place sucks.”

“Life sucks. The world sucks,” Nani added.

Maren nodded in agreement. “And people suck. But you make all those things suck a whole lot less.”

“We get so much done when we work together,” Snow offered. “It’s like we’re all pieces of a puzzle. Like the way my uncles fit together. They each have their distinct skills and personalities that keep their lives strong and effective. We all need to be at our best to keep Oaken’s just as effective. Especially now.”

Elsa looked between each woman as they spoke. If Elsa had been asked what she thought she’d be doing post-college, she never would have expected to answer running a grocery store with the help of some incredible people. Maybe Snow was right; for one of the store’s youngest employees she certainly seemed to be wise beyond her years. They all were like the pieces of a puzzle. They had all been working at different times, but once they all found their schedules colliding with each other and getting into just the right routine, everything seemed to settle.

Nani was almost like the mother of the group, despite being a few years younger than Elsa. She told everything exactly as it was and was unapologetic about anything. Even though she left everyone else enough room to do their parts, she never hesitated to jump in. It was almost just the right balance of spacing and hovering.

Snow was the baby. Though she never worked as late as everyone else, she was the one that served as a reminder exactly what they were all working for. And about the good in the world. Even in the nighttime, she filled their worlds with sunshine.

Ella was the peacemaker. She was calm, caring, organized, and down to earth. When anyone else was in a bad mood Ella would be the one to talk them down from it. And although Elsa liked to think everyone she worked with had a powerful work ethic, sometimes she believed no one had a stronger one than Ella. She worked during the day and then came straight to Oaken’s with a smile that never wavered despite the hardships in the world and whatever may have been going on in her own life.

Elsa was the boss. Though she wasn’t much of a delegator; she left that to everyone else, for the most part. She may have tried to keep herself scarce from the customers when possible, but always made it known that people could count on her when it mattered the most. Elsa made sure to know every inner working of the store that she could. And she did her best to be strong for the others. She could bs a strong stance in front of the customers and take their criticisms, but she wouldn’t tolerate them treating her coworkers as such. As much of a burden as it was, Elsa would gladly take it in their places.

Maren was the newcomer. Elsa had to admit, she was unsure of how the woman fit into their dynamic specifically. But from what she could tell, Maren was confident enough to take comments from customers yet also willing to listen to orders from her coworkers. She had a strong work ethic as well, and almost immediately seemed to take to these other women like they were family. The way she stood her ground with them. The way she smirked when she was teasing them. The way she puffed out her chest in triumph when she was right about something. The way her brown eyes almost sparkled like honey.

Wait, what?

Never mind.

That was definitely _not_ something Elsa was just thinking. She was…hungry! She was just hungry, that was all. It must have been from the stressful day. Elsa didn’t eat when she was nervous or tired; she always focused too much on the tasks at hand than herself. Come to think of it, she focused on almost anything but herself. That had to be the only explanation as to why she thought what she just thought. Or what she didn’t think. Or…whatever.

But even as Elsa took in the sight of the women before her, her brows furrowed at the strawberry blonde. “You have nothing to add?” she asked of Ella.

Ella seemed thoughtful for a moment. Whether it was trying to get the right words out, or if she had some tiny angel whispering to her from one of her shoulders, there was no doubt that her response was going to be insightful and well intentioned. Definitely a welcome change of pace from Maren and Nani’s commanding tones.

“Sometimes when things become a bit overwhelming for us it’s easy to lose sight. We forget that, as important as our jobs are, we’re also just as important. All we need to remember is to take a breath, have a moment for ourselves, give ourselves that chance to regenerate and come back better, and remember that there’s more to life. We have our work, yes. But we have so much more than that. We have the people that care about us. We have our health. We have our whole lives ahead of us. And we have our dreams; whether they’re the visions we hope for ourselves, or the things we see when we close our eyes at night. We just have to give ourselves that time to remember all that. Even if doing so can seem like a miracle. And then, when all of that is said and done, we can take a step forward and do the next right thing.”

Elsa’s look softened. Her first response was to think, dammit Ella. It really was thoughtful and insightful. But it was also far preferable to the lecture she’d gotten from Nani and Maren. But once it sunk in for Elsa, another thought replaced the original. She sounded so much like Anna.

Maybe it was the hopefulness in her voice. Maybe it was speaking with just enough naivety. Maybe it was because Ella, like Anna, was a daydreamer. Or maybe it was simply because of how much Elsa missed Anna.

She’d be lying if she said it was all because of the virus. Elsa didn’t live with Anna. She had to practice social distancing with her; especially with how many different people she dealt with. Elsa spent so much time in her youth distancing herself from her sister. She buried herself in her work. She worried about what Anna might think of her. She went above and beyond to protect and support her sister. Even if, more often than not, Elsa separated herself for Anna’s benefit, she still lost out on so much time with her. And now she was missing more time not by choice, but by force. Even without the virus Elsa’s hours would likely be sporadic or she wouldn’t have as much time with Anna as she’d like. But there would always be a chance. Now there wasn’t. She didn’t have Anna constantly reminding her to take care of herself or how much she loved her or even to play charades with.

But she did have her coworkers.

Elsa wouldn’t go so far as to call them family; but considering the circumstances it felt pretty damn close. And, like it or not, they all told her something that any loving family member would tell someone.

“Ok,” she nodded in acknowledgement. “Then the next right thing for me to do is to apologize to all of you. I have been pushed to my breaking point today. It was a huge mess, and much more to deal with than usual. Especially for an extended period of time. What happened today has nothing to do with any of you nor does it reflect on the hard work you do or how much I respect and appreciate each of you.”

She looked to Snow first. “I’m sorry I’ve been so short with you when I helped you on your orders. I cannot control how many people buy alcohol anymore than you cannot control your own age. You do so much and handle everything here so well. Your uncles must be very proud of you.”

“Ella no one has a brighter attitude or better organization skills than you do. I could have certainly used both of those today and I’m sorry I wasn’t more appreciative of you. You were trying so hard to stay calm and polite under the microscope of so many greedy and impatient customers. You could not have handled yourself better if you tried.”

“Nani, I’m sorry I tried to fight you when you clocked in about giving me my break. I should have thanked you and taken it without arguments. I know you are capable of covering for me when needed. And I’m sure that had I turned you down, my attitude would have been far worse. You were not only rushing between self scans and attempting to direct the traffic, but you also handled answering the phone at the desk when I was unable to make it in time. I trust you completely to watch my back and cover my tracks, even if I have not acted as such.”

Only Maren was left. Elsa exhaled. “I’m sorry you were dragged into this mess. I wish I could say on a normal weeknight things would be better handled. But that would be a lie. And I also cannot stand here and say it will get any easier. I give you so much credit for willing to step into the unknown with us right now. And I apologize for snapping at you the way I did earlier. The situation with that customer’s order could have happened to anyone, regardless of how long they’ve been here. Things may happen, but we can and will both continue to do and be better.”

Nani took a step forward. “Since we’re on a streak here….” She blew some bangs away from her face. Her eyes rolled slightly as she clicked her tongue. She forced her answer as though someone were physically dragging the words out of her mouth. “I’m sorry I call you icy sometimes. What you just said to us, about us..." Nani paused and let out a sigh, "none of that sounded cold at all.”

Elsa’s face flushed momentarily, but she shrugged it off. “You would not be wrong,” she confessed. “But thank you.”

Snow lightly clapped her hands together and looked to the blonde hopefully. “Will you take a break now, Elsa? Please?”

“Clock out for the half or whatever the hell it is. Get some dinner,” Maren encouraged.

“We know what to do from here. We’ve got everything under control,” Ella agreed.

Elsa supposed she could no longer argue. “Alright, alright. I’m going.” She pointed to the three and then to Snow. “You all back to work. You, call your uncles and get out of here.” Reaching over the service desk, she grabbed her water bottle and then clocked out. As she walked past the self scans Elsa contemplated about grabbing something for dinner; she barely ate anything during her break earlier and all she’d eaten before then was a pop tart for breakfast. By all accounts she should have something else. Except she still wasn’t hungry. And there were only three hours left in her shift anyway. She could probably heat up a TV dinner or something when she got home. Settling on only a small box of m&m’s, Elsa paid for her ‘dinner’ and then made her way to the break room. Once she sat down at the table, Elsa took out her phone. She missed a few texts from Anna, to no surprise.

_Do the next right thing when you clock out tonight…stuff your face with some chocolate!_ 😛

_Someone was a good boy on his walkie today_ 💙 💜

Accompanied with the second message was a photo of Kristoff’s German Shepard puppy, Sven, wagging his tail. Elsa smiled at the sight.

_Ooooo don’t forget Disney+ is adding some more stuff next month! Online movie night! Text meeeeee!_

As if Elsa could ever forget. Setting down her snack, she used both thumbs to send her first text.

_Love you sis._

She paused.

_And you’d absolutely love my coworkers._

Locking her phone, she set it face down and then opened her box. She dumped a few of the bite-sized chocolates in her palm before throwing them in her mouth. Chocolate always made Elsa feel better; she felt more relaxed already, simply sitting in the break room just holding her guilty pleasure in her hand.

Just three more hours, she reminded herself.

And hopefully she’d never have to pull a shift like this again.

Elsa leaned back in the chair, finally feeling at peace enough to relax. Maybe it was the chocolate, the talk with her coworkers, or just the freedom from dealing with people until the next evening. She wouldn’t go so far as to say she felt better than she did in a while; that certainly wasn’t ever the case in retail. But if she could go back to when she first started, she’d tell herself that, in some capacity, it would get better.

“Ahem.”

A soft cough pulled Elsa out of her thoughts. She quickly sat up straight and brought her blue eyes up ahead. Standing on the other side of the table was none other than Maren. Elsa blinked. How long had she been standing there for?

“Oh…hello again….”

“I just…” Maren paused. She pursed her lips. The response caused Elsa to tilt her head curiously. Then, exhaling, Maren revealed a small salad from behind her back. A premade one from the produce section; chicken Caesar, to be precise. “I don’t even know if you eat salads but it didn’t look like you actually bought dinner so….” She set the container on the table and pushed it towards Elsa.

Elsa blinked. She briefly glanced to her m&m’s before setting them face down, a bit embarrassed. No, m&m’s didn’t count a meal, she supposed. But what was she supposed to do? Tell Maren that her efforts were in vain? That Elsa wasn’t that hungry? That she’d wait until she got home?

“You didn’t have to…” she managed to get out.

“I wanted to. I figured, it was probably the least I could do,” Maren shrugged.

Elsa looked at her again. “What are you talking about?”

“You had a lot on your plate today. And I probably wasn’t much help at all. You know…new girl and all. Always asking for help,” she replied.

“Oh, you weren’t,” the blonde shook her head. “Anyone would have gotten confused when the card didn’t go through.”

“But the guy was insisting there had to be more money on it. I didn’t know what else to do…”

“You did exactly what you should have done; asked for help.”

“You were going crazy.”

“As were you.”

“We all were.”

“You’ve nothing to apologize for.”

“Even though all the food ended up going bad?”

Elsa sucked on her bottom lip. Of course Maren saw. It was one of the full wagons by the Crap Corner, with nearly everything still in their plastic bags. It was about $142 worth of food, half of which was perishable. And now it was unsalvageable. In her haste with everything Elsa had only been able to grab the eggs and some yogurt from the top of the cart; she had stuck it into one of the coolers. About $7 saved, max. Not that it compared to the rest.

“There was nothing either of us could have done to prevent that.”

Maren pulled out the chair across from Elsa. “What ended up happening with that customer anyway?”

She shook her head. “He kept trying to force his card through over and over again, telling me the same thing he probably told you. That there had to be money on it. It just refreshed last week. He knew exactly how much was on it. It didn’t matter how many times the register said the card was declined. Guy’s story stayed the same, and he left in a horrible mood.”

“Is that the censored version?” Maren guessed.

Elsa looked away, tucking some hair behind her ear. “The specifics are not important.”

“Which means he gave you an even harder time because you’re the manager,” she realized.

Elsa could hear the defeated tone in Maren’s voice. She didn’t like it one bit. It was as if Maren was confessing it was her fault somehow. That was far from the truth. “I’ve dealt with worse than him. I’ve dealt with…” She paused. How should she even finish that? She wasn’t about to go into detail with anything. It wasn’t like Maren needed to know about Elsa’s life or what she did deal with or has dealt with in the past. “…Worse,” she chose to finish simply.

The brunette merely nodded. “It didn’t make your day any easier though.”

“Hardly any day here is ever easy. And right now, people are at their worst more than usual,” she said.

“Got any secrets to share with the newbie?” Maren joked. “Like how you hold yourself back the way you do or act like you’re some sort of retail queen?”

Elsa covered her mouth. “Oh! I’m no queen, far from that. There are no secrets. Just…” But there was a secret. The only one she could think of. The thing that haunted her for so many years. The thing that she thought one day she could let go of. The thing that she’d actually never be able to lose. “Conceal it. Don’t feel it. Don’t let it show.”

Maren pulled her lips to the side. “Never let them see how much they really bother you, huh?”

“I’ve had years of practice,” Elsa confessed.

“Is that what you’re doing now?” she wondered. Her eyes darted down to the salad before returning to Elsa. “Concealing to not disappoint me?”

Elsa sighed. She placed her hands on the container. “Please do not take it personally. The thought was sweet, it’s just…”

“You would’ve preferred chocolate?” she assumed.

Well she wasn’t completely wrong.

“I’m not hungry,” Elsa confessed. “But yes; chocolate is my weakness.”

“A girl after my own heart,” Maren smirked.

Involuntarily, Elsa held out her open box towards Maren. She had no idea what compelled her to react in that way. It must have been talking to a fellow chocoholic. “Peace offering?”

Maren seemed to bite her tongue in an attempt to hold back a smile. “And if I refuse?”

“What would your price be?” Elsa inquired.

Maren nodded towards the salad. “I think you know.”

Elsa pursed her lips. “You drive a hard bargain.” She took a pause, watching an almost smug look come across her coworker’s face. It was as if Maren enjoyed this. Elsa was just unsure if it was the teasing or her being right that was so pleasing. Either way, Elsa had no desire to have it rubbed in her face. Sighing, she set her candy down before reluctantly opening the salad. She removed the top and poured its contents into the lettuce of the container below. She then took out the dressing and fork that was attached, opening both. She poured very little of the ranch into the salad before mixing it. She gazed upwards, noticing Maren was watching her quite intently.

“Are you babysitting me?”

“Just making sure you hold up your end of the deal.”

“And how will you know if I do?”

“I’m sitting right here.”

“But your break ends before mine.”

“So?”

“How do you know I won’t eat in front of you and dump the rest after you leave?”

“Because you’re not like half the people around here who choose to let food go to waste because they’re lazy.”

“No but I am stubborn.”

“Which is better than being lazy and stupid.”

“Your point being?”

“No way in hell you’re stupid.”

It was entertaining for banter, but Elsa appreciated the compliment nonetheless. Letting out the faintest scoff, she picked out some of the salad with her fork and brought it to her lips. She closed her eyes and kept her straight posture, hoping that Maren wouldn’t somehow catch on how much Elsa was actually enjoying her meal.

“Is it good?” she asked knowingly.

Elsa swallowed. “Thank you for this.”

“You’re welcome.” Maren reached across and poured some chocolates into her hand. “My payment.”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “Is that all you’re eating?”

“Not hungry,” she answered. “Besides, I go home at ten. I’ll grab some stuff for me and my brother after I clock out.”

“You are not eating dinner at eleven at night,” Elsa protested.

“What are you gonna do? Force feed me your salad?” she joked.

“If there were a second fork, perhaps,” she retorted.

The comment brought a smirk to Maren’s face. And, for whatever reason, that in turn brought a blush to Elsa’s. “I’d like to see you try.” She held onto Elsa’s gaze for a minute, brown eyes not once wavering from blue. Elsa hoped that her blush was not too obvious or that it wouldn’t drag out somehow in response to the stare down.

Not that she would have an answer. Maren pushed herself out of her chair, keeping the smirk glued to her face. “I should get back. Enjoy your dinner, Elsa.”

The blonde watched as her coworker turned and left the break room. She tapped the fork into the salad lightly, as if to poke at it for more information. If only she knew what specifically she wanted to know. But as quickly as the thought came, it left with the shake of her head. It didn’t matter. Fighting another blush, Elsa put another forkful in her mouth. All she knew was, before the night was over, she was going to buy Maren her own dinner. Even if it was only payback dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's this? The faintest hint of, at the very least, an implication that Elsa sees Maren as attractive and may start looking for excuses to get closer to her? Quite possibly, maybe! The goal was just to write whatever felt right to their conversation, let it just come out what felt like naturally. For the rest of the chapter, i had a clear vision of the interaction with everyone at the throwbacks from Ella's own two cents to Elsa's 'apology' (apology is in quotations because like hell she needs to apologize when everyone understand how crazy it was). Ella's thing was originally a bit shorter, but i had to add the tidbits about dreams and miracles in true Cinderella fashion. Not to mention she makes a pretty damn good point of how we get so caught up in work that we forget about ourselves when in reality we're just as important. It's true in every job, but it's especially true in retail when the store wants you to have open availability and expect you to devote all your time to the store but you're only part time except you can't have a life outside the store. And as stubborn and hardworking as Elsa is, cause we know she tries to do everything for everyone, i'd like to think she knows to admit when she's got good help around her and actually acknowledges them.
> 
> Also yes, i had to put some Snow Queen references in there for Elsa. No, i didn't have any plans on what kind of dog Sven would be in this AU, i just typed a random breed and went for it. Yes, in this cannon Maren is also a chocoholic like Elsa and Anna. Yes, the customer references are based off real life cashier stories i've heard or lived through but i opted not to go into details with them this chapter because those weren't the point. This time. But sadly yes, there will be more IRL stories to come. And no, we're still not going into detail with Elsa's life yet because do you really think it'd be that easy with her lol. It's some bits and pieces to keep you guys guessing from her relationship with her family to how she grew up to her sexuality because yes of course, the latter will definitely be a thing!
> 
> I have a couple of days off during the week so i'm hoping to get some more writing done at least one of those days. I'll see what that means for posting a new chapter. The shifts are still long and there will probably be more overtime so no promises yet except that updates will come! Until then, see you all at the register/self scan/traffic control/around the stores!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the rare occurrence of my day off from work! I have here a new chapter for you guys. It's not much, it's not too long, and it's pretty simple but hopefully it's better than hitting your head against the wall. Cause let me tell you, i have that feeling every damn day at work.  
> @Chiara - Thank you so much! I was definitely a bit nervous starting to write because i wasn't sure if really any of the characters were gonna be on point. I wanted them to be true enough to their originals that they were recognizable but i kind of didn't have too high hopes, if that makes any sense? I'm really glad you think so and believe in them. As far as my style of writing goes that really means a lot. A lot of times i feel like i break the rule of telling instead of showing but my goal is always to try and get into the heads of the characters and be able to write out their thought process and hope that it's enough to get everyone else lost in those same thoughts and characters, too. It's the thoughts and emotions that i personally connect with the most and i want to be able to show that and try to connect everyone else with it, too. So thank you for the kind words :)  
> @Ravrav - PLEASE DON'T BREAK! I mean...ok i can't really promise every Elsamaren interaction won't be like that on some level because they probably will be, between Elsa being so closed off and they're both probably useless and clueless on some level but just please don't break! It's way too early in the story for that! I can't say for sure when it'll get better with them yet but it will! Eventually! At some point! I promise!  
> @fanficfruitts - This is exactly why, even if it makes total sense why there wasn't a lot of Elsamaren in Frozen 2, we actually need SOMETHING where they interact more. They obviously have chemistry but i'm only going off of pure assumptions. Is it so wrong to actually want to SEE the chemistry play out too!  
> @Archie - i'm glad you have had the privilege of never dealing with retail. Please try to continue that at all costs, the field is not recommended! A lot of the people are difficult to deal with and especially right now we're either getting understanding people who are also saying thank you or we're getting worst than the worst. I'm personally always happy to be working regardless, and the fact that i still go in and work extra means i'm doing something right in my store, but yes it's a very difficult field. And at some point i plan to incorporate more customer stories in here. Thank you for the supportive words and also thank you for being invested enough in the story to actually start referring to Maren as Cassanova! I almost have half a mind to try to continue that incorporation now even though it was meant to be a one time joke. With Elsa admitting Maren is attractive and then denying it, she just seems like the kind of person who would want to find more logical answers and, especially being as guarded as she is around people, it's probably not easy for her to fully accept the idea of wanting to be closer on some level to someone. So if you enjoy Elsa's...suffering...? lol...then there's plenty more of that to come!
> 
> Like i said, this is a pretty basic and straightforward chapter. Just another small peek into the life of retail. The next one, however, will be longer and more detailed so consider this something to keep you going until then. And as i sit back and try to write more while you guys read i will secretly hope that someone punches Radcliffe in the face because i can't wish that on real people. Retail is a cynical world, guys!

Twenty more minutes. Just twenty more minutes.

Maren hated to admit it, but when she saw that her schedule for Sunday was from nine to three, her face fell. Not only did that mean she was going to have to work under Radcliffe – assuming the man would actually show up this time – it meant no Nani or Ella. Maren enjoyed talking with the two of them. They actually made working tolerable. Nani had this tough girl approach with some witty banter that Maren thought could rival her own. Not that Maren knew anything about Nani’s life outside of Oaken’s, except that she had a younger sister and an aunt and uncle, but Nani seemed like a cool person to hang out with outside of the store. Maren just hoped there wasn’t a huge age difference or something between them; then it would be just a bit weird. Hell, it was already weird she didn’t even know Nani’s age! Ella, on the other hand, felt like a nice counter to Maren. She was friendly and encouraging. And she knew how to dictate without coming across as bossy or rude. It didn’t feel like Maren was working under her; Ella had seniority, being there for two and a half years Maren had learned, but she never acted like she knew everything or knew better. She just wanted to be a good coworker.

Then there was Elsa. She was someone Maren still couldn’t wrap her head around. Nani had described the woman as icy. At one point in conversation the title Snow Queen had come up. Maren personally didn’t see it. Maybe Elsa’s voice had the faintest hint of frost to it; like something that had just glossed over the car window in the winter. But it never felt cold specifically. Maren couldn’t put her finger on it. Elsa obviously cared. Then she thought back to the so-called ‘secret’ of working in retail.

_“Conceal it. Don’t feel it. Don’t let it show.”_

Could that be why Elsa presented herself the way she did? Because she spent so much time on the job concealing that she never quite seemed to revert in the middle of a normal conversation?

But their last conversation; the other night in the break room. It was fun banter. It was light-hearted. It was teasing. That wasn’t anything like how she had been with them as a group. Was it really some other method of concealing? Or was it just Maren?

All she knew for sure was that Elsa was an interesting character. She liked working with her. And she hoped it would become a normal occurrence. It was almost funny; since learning a little bit more about Elsa, Maren hadn’t once thought back to the voice she heard during her first week. Had she been overwhelmed those first few days? Was she delusional? Was Maren hoping for something so interesting to happen that she actually willed herself to think she heard something?

Ugh! She wished she knew!

She also wished she could get out of work sooner. The last twenty minutes were dragging on. Even though it had been busy for the majority of the morning, it somehow didn’t help the time go any faster. Was she allowed to blame her boss for that?

She finished her current transaction and handed the customer their change and receipt. Standing on her tiptoes, Maren attempted to see over the register next to her. She knew the line for the registers was a couple of aisles away, but she couldn’t even make out anyone’s head. If only she were a few inches taller.

“Hey Radcliffe?”

Within seconds, Radcliffe could be seen at the end of Maren’s lane. “Oh good, you’re open!” He signaled in the other direction, “Next customer here!”

“Actually I wanted to know if I have a relief. I go home in fifteen,” Maren tried quickly.

“I don’t know, alright? We’ve got bigger problems. Let’s focus on getting rid of that line, shall we?” he retorted before spinning on his heel and disappearing into the crowd.

Maren groaned. She had no idea why people found British accents so attractive. Maren personally never understood the appeal but after working with Radcliffe, she might as well have been scarred.

“Oh hey Maren!”

Maren turned to see who appeared at her lane that would recognize her. Her eyes widened and a smile crossed her face. Even with a mask covering his face, Maren would recognize that voice and scruffy blond hair anywhere. “Kristoff, hey! What are you doing here?”

“Well I stopped at BJ’s to pick up some dog food for Sven and now I’m just picking up a few things for me and Anna,” he answered. He set the hand basket down and began placing his items on the belt. “How are you holding up here?”

“Hanging in, I guess,” Maren rolled her eyes. She turned on the belt, allowing the first couple of items to roll closer to her. “What’s with the mask? You buying into this thing, too?”

Maren didn’t think facemasks were a big deal, or that they would be of much help. She was no medical expert by any means, but she did know masks were designed to protect other people from getting sick. Which meant the masks weren’t going to be effective unless the face attached to them was coughing or sneezing up a storm. Plus, how did anyone breathe in those things? They seemed so restrictive!

“I have to,” he groaned. “My boss handed these out yesterday. Said that if we go out anywhere we have to wear them. Don’t want any of the animals brought in getting infected.”

“Can dogs get infected with the virus?” Maren asked, scanning the first item.

“Supposedly,” he shrugged. He unloaded the last couple of items and then put the basket underneath the register. “But we don’t know the signs yet. There’s no reported cases in our clinic yet, but my boss doesn’t want us taking any chances.”

“Does Ryder know? I know he’s not scheduled to go in next until Tuesday,” Maren replied.

“I texted him but he doesn’t have a mask,” he shrugged. “So it’s probably best if he just stays inside until his next shift. He can get something at the clinic then.”

“I’ll give him the message. Maybe grab a scarf or something on the way home. I’ll be outta this dump in no time.” She paused. “Probably best not to tell my boss I said that….”

Kristoff chuckled. “I get it. You can’t please everyone, right? I have that problem with Sven all the time. He thinks he’s the boss of me, telling me things like…” he cleared his throat to heighten his voice, _“Kristoff feed me!”_

“He’s a dog. He always wants food,” Maren pointed out.

“You know that and I know that. But you don’t see the look he gives or the fights he puts up. We have this conversation every night,” he replied. He proceeded to go back and forth between his Sven Voice and his normal one.

“But it’s not dinner time yet.”

_“I’m hungry now.”_

“You act like I never feed you anything.”

_“Anna gives me food all the time.”_

“Really? Like when?”

_“She shared her grilled cheese with me today.”_

“Wait, she did what?”

Maren let out a laugh. It wasn’t nearly as entertaining to see Kristoff use his Sven Voice without Sven, but he still somehow managed to get the point across just fine. Maren could already picture it. She could see Sven sitting down, head tilted slightly, eyes moving upwards, and letting out the faintest whine.

And that was exactly why Maren would never get a dog as long as she was still living with Ryder.

Or any pet for that matter.

Aside from the fact that they couldn’t afford it, Ryder would do the exact same thing as Kristoff. Maren could only take so much for so long.

“How do you two not drive Anna crazy like that?” she asked.

“Hey she thinks it’s adorable. And she loves Sven. He calls him her adopted son,” Kristoff grinned proudly.

“When this stupid quarantine thing is over we should grab dinner or something,” Maren suggested. “Take Sven on a walk and grab some ice cream after.”

“That’d be great,” he agreed. “I know Anna would love the idea, too. She hates being stuck inside all the time. She’s started getting into the habit of going for a run around the block every day just to see if anyone is walking across the street so she can yell hi to them.”

“That’s adorable,” Maren smiled.

“She is,” Kristoff sighed. “I just hope that being stuck with me doesn’t change her mind about us. I heard if you can live with someone for a few weeks you’re set for life but I don’t know if I buy that.”

“Who’d you hear that from?” Maren wondered, bagging the groceries.

Kristoff paused.

“Sven…”

Maren snorted.

“Hey come on, he makes a good argument! He’s lived with me for two years and he hasn’t run away yet!” he argued.

“Ok, ok, dog whisperer,” the brunette teased. She clicked the total button on the screen. “It’s $15.29. Pay up or we’re both in trouble.”

“No comment,” he shook his head. He took out his credit card from his pocket and put it into the pin pad.

“I’m just joking. You’ll be fine,” she assured him.

“Not me I’m worried about. It’s everyone else and this stupid virus,” he said.

“I get it,” Maren sighed. “I don’t wanna be here forever because of it.”

“That’s one of the things that worries me.” He put his card back in his pocket and picked up the bags. “It’s still so new and unexpected. We’re hearing more bad than good. And we can’t live like that.” Kristoff shook his head. “Just hang in there, ok?”

“You, too,” she agreed. She handed him his receipt and then watched him walk out of the store. Maren sighed. Was this what it was going to come to? Only being able to see any of her friends face to face at work with the faint hope that maybe they’d come shopping during her shift at this specific store? We’re hearing more bad than good, Kristoff just said. So how bad were things supposed to get? And how quickly?

“Maren!”

Maren perked up. She turned to face her boss. “What’s up?”

“Did you know that boy who came to you?” Radcliffe questioned.

“Well yeah. He works with my brother...” she started to explain.

Radcliffe narrowed his gaze. “Don’t let it happen again. You’re not allowed to ring up friends or family. They have to go to another line or not shop here.”

Maren blinked. “I didn’t know…. No one mentioned-”

“Well consider this mentioning it,” he interrupted. “If it happens again you will be suspended.”

Maren’s eyes widened. “Suspended? But…you sent him over here.”

“And you should have sent him back as soon as you recognized him. Don’t let it happen again,” he warned angrily. “Now shut off your light and go clock out.”

Maren stood at her register with her jaw dropped. This was the first she was hearing of the rule. She understood the company had its policy. But she hadn’t done anything. She just made conversation with him like she should any other customer. It only happened to be more personal because she knew Kristoff already. And even so, Radcliffe was the one who sent him over in the first place. Even if Maren had known, would Radcliffe have gotten mad if Maren refused? Would he have even listened? Probably not. And then she still would have gotten in trouble.

UGH!

Logging off her register, Maren shut off her light and grabbed her backpack from underneath. She threw it over her shoulder, then clocked out and slumped out of the store. This stunk. Lousy shift. Lousy boss. Lousy job. Stopping outside, Maren leaned up against the brick wall. The parking lot looked packed, but it probably only seemed worse than it was.

Actually, the parking lot was pretty terrible. She saw a small gust of wind grab a glove from the ground and lift it, carrying it from the front of the lot towards the left. Seriously? Did people just throw their used gloves on the ground after they were done shopping? There was a garbage can right next to the exit! It wasn’t rocket science!

Did Maren mention she hated people?

Groaning, she leaned her head back against the wall.

“Maren.”

She knew that voice.

Maren blinked and looked up. “Oh…Elsa. Hey.” She quickly stood upright and pulled away from the wall, though she had to untangle a few strands of hair from the bricks first.

“Are you coming in?” Elsa inquired.

Maren’s face fell. “Nah. Just clocked out.”

Elsa paused. There seemed to be no immediate reaction on her face, but the hesitation indicated that perhaps she was disappointed as well. “That’s unfortunate.”

“Hey if it means anything, I’d rather be here at night,” she offered.

Elsa’s smile tugged to one side as she shrugged a shoulder. “It does a little, actually.”

That brought a smile to Maren’s face. She hoped it meant Elsa enjoyed working with her as well. Or maybe simply liked having her around. Was that weird to think?

“So…uh…I guess you’re getting ready to clock in, huh?”

“At three-thirty, yes,” she nodded. “I know I’m early but knowing how bad it’s been…”

“It’s still bad. Radcliffe’s on a rampage in there,” Maren sighed.

“Oh no,” Elsa mumbled. She stiffened, bracing herself for the impact. “What did he do now?”

Maren folded her arms. “He sent someone I knew to my line and got mad when I didn’t turn them away. Like I was supposed to know I can’t ring my brother’s friends or that it’s better to turn someone away and get them mad.”

“Well that is our policy. If my sister ever comes, I have to remind her to go to anyone but me. If I were watching self scan for Nani’s break and Anna came over, I’d have to call Nani back up front. That’s how strict the rule is,” Elsa sighed. “But that doesn’t make it right the way Radcliffe demeaned you. I don’t believe our policies should be that strict given the circumstances. People want to get out of here sooner and that means sending the next customer to the first line regardless of who it is. That’s how we continue running smoothly without causing an uproar.”

“So what’s your secret to this one?” Maren wondered. “Aside from telling me not to imagine punching Radcliffe in the face?”

Elsa let out a giggle. The response surprised Maren; she didn’t recall hearing Elsa laugh before. But, of course, the woman was a professional. So she cleared her throat and forced the laugh away. “As tempting as that would be, I would advise against that.”

“Figured,” the brunette rolled her eyes.

“Remind me, is it always your first reaction to punch someone?” Elsa asked.

“If I know they’re being a dick,” she nodded.

“Well that is Radcliffe…” Elsa admitted. She shook her head. “But it’s still best to not go there. Don’t let him get to you, Maren. You’re better than that.”

“Speaking from experience, or preaching what you should be practicing?” she guessed.

Elsa shook her head. “Do you enjoy toying with me like this?”

“Maybe a little,” Maren shrugged. “By the way, thanks for the cereal the other night. I actually did eat some of it when I got home.”

Elsa offered her a small smile. “I know it wasn’t much…breakfast is hardly a dinner…”

“Breakfast can definitely be a dinner,” Maren laughed. “And I didn’t know we had any of the Oreo cereal in stock.”

“I thought you might like that. I wasn’t sure if you’d prefer that or the Reese’s…. Actually I wasn’t even sure if I should get the Reese’s in case you were allergic…. Oreo seemed like the better bet, I’m not sure anyone actually dislikes Oreos…. There were also chocolate chip pop tarts but I’ve seen you buy cereal during the week…. You did mention chocolate was your weakness though, and we have plenty of pop tarts with chocolate…I’d personally go for the hot fudge sundae ones but that doesn’t mean you would have, not to mention pop tarts aren’t much more of a dinner than cereal….”

“Are you rambling?”

“I’m sorry?”

“It just sounded that way.”

“No…. No. I was not rambling.”

“Really?”

“No. I was…. Using a run-on sentence is all.”

“ _A_ run-on sentence?”

“Fine, multiple.”

“Which is nothing like rambling.”

“Exactly.”

Maren smirked. Elsa was getting frazzled. She…kind of liked it. It was cute.

Even though Maren shouldn’t be thinking that of her boss at all.

But it wasn’t her fault it was true.

She needed to stop before it got out of hand.

“I’ll see you tomorrow night then?”

“Same time,” Elsa nodded. “Enjoy the rest of your night, Maren.” She turned to enter the store. At the same time Maren took all of one step into the parking lot. Suddenly she stopped and spun back around.

“Hey Elsa?” she called.

The blonde stopped short. She quickly reappeared at the doorway, poking her head out to Maren. “Yes?”

Maren offered her a smile. “I do like Reese’s Puffs.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok i have a confession...this chapter was basically an excuse for me to just introduce Kristoff. I was debating on whether he should also mention Anna's sister who Maren doesn't know is Elsa which would probably make a good laugh but as i [attempted to] write the next couple of chapters i started thinking, no there's a better way for Maren and Elsa to realize they both know Kristoff and Anna. But that's not until later on. Not that i probably _needed_ to show that most stores have a policy against us ringing up friends or family, but the reaction Radcliffe had was very much real. Even if any of us in that situation don't treat the person we know coming to our line differently save for maybe talking more to them, the company doesn't want to allow us the chance to give special treatment. Or, whatever, something like that. I've gotten reactions from a friendly reminder to a slight scolding to...well, not as dramatic as Radcliffe here, but the anger and frustration of not following the rules despite the reason the person came to my line (which is never me, by the way, it's always the supervisor telling customers who's open or them coming of their own free will. I personally don't like shooing people away from my line unless i'm an express lane or i'm about to close).
> 
> Also side note even though a lot of us are at the point of this pandemic where we have to wear masks when we go out, especially if we can't social distance, the timeline in this story isn't totally caught up to present time so until it's mentioned otherwise only gloves are a thing among the retail workers and customers may or may not be wearing masks.  
>    
> As for Elsamaren, cue the teasing about Maren wanting to see Elsa more but not going to admit it's because she likes her lol! i do though want to apologize for how slowly it's gonna take for anything to happen between them, but i also don't want to apologize because i kind of like writing Elsa getting flustered...? lol. We already know Maren likes her, it's just a matter of time before Elsa starts to realize she's catching some feels, too. But then of course she's going to get all in her head about it and that's gonna cause it to be dragged out, there's gonna be some more teasing, and of course Maren doesn't even know anything about the voice which is gonna be coming and going.... You know what? I'll just watch you guys react the way you do!
> 
> My schedule doesn't seem as hectic this week as it was last, so i definitely plan on posting another chapter this week. I don't know if it'll be one or two though, because i do wanna be able to keep writing when i can and that way you all aren't also waiting too long for updates. So until then, stay safe, stay inside, wear masks, and take a note from Elsa and Maren and have some chocolate! See you at the register!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Looks like this is gonna be the only other update this week. Between working extra and having things to do at home there wasn't as much time to write as i hoped. I got through writing half of a chapter. Progress is a dirty liar! Anyway let me get to the reviews quick before we jump back in.  
> @Coldname - i've got a few ideas on how to reveal Elsa and Maren both know Kristoff but yes, they will definitely be shocked! And i promise there will be more cute moments between Elsa and Maren! Thank you :)  
> @fanficfruitts - YES PLEASE! As much as i'd personally love to see Frozen 3 where they make Elsamaren cannon and we actually get to see them get together, a short of them (and Ryder) in the Enchanted Forest would be just as amazing. Imagine Maren introducing Elsa to everything, showing her around, taking her on an adventure, and Ryder spends the whole trip trying to set it up so they get together! Disney just needs to give us _something_!
> 
> Now onto chapter 7!

“I don’t believe it.”

“This is crazy.”

“There’s no way in hell this is real.”

“Are we in a dream?”

“Must be.”

“Wow.”

Maren raised an eyebrow. She looked at Nani and Ella and then at the Crap Corner. There was only one wagon, and barely even half full. The bins weren’t quite empty, but they didn’t look like the overflowing mess Maren had come to recognize. Sure a few things looked out of place; a box of cereal was laying down instead of standing in Bin 4, a 12-pack of Pepsi was on the floor, and Maren could’ve sworn orange juice didn’t go in Aisle 14. But for the most part it actually looked…almost presentable.

“Are we talking about the throwbacks?”

“If you can even call it that tonight,” Nani commented.

“This is the nicest it’s looked in weeks,” Ella added. “You saw how many wagons there were each night last week, Maren. Usually it only gets that bad for snow storms, holidays, and sporting events.”

“Not to mention vacations,” Nani shuddered. “Trust me, the amount of things people have to put back because their kids grabbed it behind their backs is insane.”

“So this is really all there is to do tonight?” Maren gasped.

“Well, this and cleaning,” Nani said. “I mean one of us could probably walk around the store and find a bunch of shit that doesn’t belong. That’ll give us something to do.”

“Or check for expired candy,” Ella suggested.

Nani narrowed her gaze. “Ella, no one wants to waste their time digging through the candy at the registers.”

“We could play Pictionary or something, but I doubt Oaken would approve of that while we’re on the clock,” Ella mused.

“He probably wouldn’t,” Elsa spoke stepping outside from the cash office. “And don’t tell that to my sister, either. She and her boyfriend may be the best at Charades, but I did win six to nothing at Pictionary last family game night.”

Nani raised an eyebrow and folded her arms. “Well look at that. Snow Queen does family game nights,” she teased with a smirk.

Elsa shrugged. “My sister’s idea.”

“Why Pictionary?” Maren wondered.

“I was an art major,” Elsa answered simply.

“Alright Picasso, got any creative suggestions for tonight?” Nani prompted.

“Claudel, actually,” Elsa responded, which resulted in confused looks from her coworkers. The blonde shook her head. “Pablo Picasso was a painter. Camille Claudel was a sculptor. That was my concentration.”

“Po-tay-to, po-tah-to,” Nani sang.

Elsa shook her head. “But we will have to get creative. Anything we may think that needs to get done, we can make it happen. That or we clock out early if there really is no work. I do recommend though we attempt to figure something out. Even if one of us clocks out early we should still make it appear as though we were productive. The last thing we need is for Radcliffe and the morning crew to claim we do nothing at night and skimp out on their responsibilities.”

“I can take care of the throwbacks and do a walk around the store to see what needs to get moved,” Ella offered.

“I’d rather take my chances and clock out early,” Nani admitted. “This whole virus thing’s made it a pain in the ass to see my boyfriend.”

“What about social distancing?” Ella inquired.

Nani waved a hand. “I can hop in for a quick shower at his place, be good for some Netflix and Chill, and still be home on time.”

Maren held out her hand for a fist bump. “Gonna get busy, huh?”

“The best kind of busy there is,” Nani laughed bumping back.

Elsa blinked. “I’m sorry, what?”

“What do you mean, what?” Maren replied.

“What does that have to do with watching Netflix?” Elsa asked.

Nani pointed at her, confused. “You’ve never heard of Netflix and Chill?”

“Is that not just watching Netflx and chilling? Like the name reads?” she replied.

The three exchanged looks.

“I may not get out much,” Ella confessed hesitantly, “but even I know about Netflix and Chill.”

“I’m confused,” Elsa stated.

Nani clapped her hands together. “Ok, lamest terms. I’m gonna go get laid.”

“Oh…. OH!” Elsa’s brows furrowed at first and then quickly rose. Her eyes widened, almost enough so they looked like they might roll out of her face. Her hands suddenly flew over her mouth and, thanks to her pale skin it became blatantly obvious even through covered hands that her face was red. “I…I have to go…go…. Clean! Refill the spray bottles! I’ll…I’ll be back…soon.” She sprinted in the opposite direction, as if she couldn’t get away fast enough.

Maren tilted her head. She was half expecting a dust cloud in the shape of Elsa’s silhouette to remain for a moment. Hell, that would have been more believable than seeing the speed in which she ran away. Who knew the woman could make such a quick escape?

“What was up with that?”

“I think talking about our personal lives freaks her out,” Nani shrugged.

“You were also a bit too honest with her,” Ella offered.

“And what would you have said?” Nani inquired.

“I don’t know…maybe that you were going to watch a movie and not watch the movie?” Ella replied.

“Sounds better than my answer. I would’ve just played it coy. But if Elsa didn’t even know Netflix and Chill, she definitely wouldn’t’ve caught onto my wordplay,” Maren said.

“Whatever. You do what you all do. As long as I’m not needed here, I’m gonna take advantage while I can,” Nani decided. “See you guys tomorrow. Aloha.”

“Goodnight, Nani,” Ella replied. She stepped over to the bins and began skimming through each one. She didn’t do much save for moving a few items around to their proper locations. She then looked through the wagon to see what went where.

“Is anything about tonight normal?” Maren wondered.

“Not at all,” the blonde shook her head. “We don’t really discuss our lives outside of work that much. And most of the time there’s much more to do than this.” She let out a soft sigh. “Though, I can’t say I have much of a life to talk about anyway.”

“It’s just work and the mice?” Maren assumed.

Ella nodded and turned to face her coworker. “It’s…complicated.”

Maren frowned. “Mice are your only friends complicated?”

“That’s one way to word it,” Ella thought aloud. She shook her head. “It’s not that I’m ashamed at all. I love my mice. They’re absolutely wonderful. But sometimes it would be nice if I had more. Not a lot more; just enough to buy them a cage with more room. And more time to spend with them. I don’t want them to see me struggle.”

Maren nodded knowingly. “They’re like your family, huh? You’d do anything for them, right?”

“Exactly. Many people look at rodents and think dirty sewer creatures. But I look at them and see tiny furry people. People who count on me. And before I can let anyone else count on me, I have to know I can take care of the three of them. And if I want to have my own animal sanctuary some day, I have to save up now. Even if it means being away from them so much,” she explained.

“That’s kind of how I see my brother, too,” Maren agreed.

“As someone who relies on you?” Ella guessed.

Maren chuckled. “Well, mostly as a helpless little mouse. Ryder loves animals, but he can’t even get rid of a little bug to save his life.”

“What’s it like? Having a brother?” Ella asked.

“You don’t have any siblings?” Maren replied.

She shook her head. “The owner of the hotel I work for, I do see her daughters quite often. It’s not the same, and I doubt they act anything like siblings would to each other. But that’s the closest I’ve ever come.”

That was kind of depressing. Maren couldn’t imagine being an only child. Ryder could be annoying sometimes and needy or clingy, but she always had a guaranteed friend in him. And it was kind of nice to have someone look up to her and admire her the way he did. Maren never felt out of place. It was like she was always needed.

“Not all sibling relationships are perfect. I know Ryder and I had our moments,” she admitted. “But he’s been one of the best friends I could ask for. I never had to worry about him judging me. I came out to him almost as soon as I knew. And he didn’t think anything of it. I worry about letting him down sometimes, or that maybe I’m not enough for him. But I know that when push comes to shove we always have each other’s backs. And even if we drive each other crazy, we’re still stuck with each other for our lives. I could probably have asked for a stronger or more mature brother, but I definitely couldn’t ask for a better one.”

Ella smiled at Maren’s description. “It sounds like he means the world to you.”

“That’s why I’m here,” she shrugged. “He’s only an intern and right now isn’t the time for him to become anything more. So I have to do what I can to support him. And even if that means being stuck in this hellhole for the rest of my college degree, I will. For him.”

“What does he want to do?” Ella wondered.

“He wants to be a vet. Help rehabilitate animals and maybe foster them someday,” she answered.

“That sounds amazing,” she smiled.

“When this whole mess is over I’ll introduce you guys,” Maren offered. “I bet you’d make a pretty good team.”

“I’d like that,” she agreed.

The moment was nice. Maren enjoyed bonding with her coworkers. They were all completely different people, but they were stuck in the same situation. It was nice to feel camaraderie in everything. She definitely would’ve never experienced that had she decided against searching for a job.

But she did also feel bad. Here she was, standing around not doing any work and getting to know Ella better; meanwhile Elsa was supposedly doing something but more likely hiding. Maren knew it wasn’t her fault for scaring Elsa off, but there was still guilt there. She should make things right somehow.

“I should go see if I can find Elsa. See if she needs any help cleaning,” she decided. After receiving a nod from Ella, Maren made her way to the back of the store. Now where would Elsa go…? Did she really go to refill the spray bottles? Where were the spray bottles even? Unless she went somewhere else? Maybe she went out to her car?

Maren tried the break room first. She wasn’t sure why she thought Elsa would possibly be there. That is, unless she decided to take her break and use it as an excuse to get away from everyone. That proved not to be the case, as the room was empty. Huh…where could Elsa have gone?

_Ah ah oh oh_

Maren blinked. What was…?

_Ah ah oh oh_

That voice!

She wasn’t crazy! It did exist!

Maren’s head jerked back and forth. Where could it have been coming from? She had to find it! Fast! She dashed out of the break room. There were only two directions to go; back into the store or in the back around…ugh, what was the name of that delivery storage space? Receiving? Yeah, that sounded somewhat right. But who would be back in Receiving?

Unless that was where the spray bottles were? Was that where Elsa went?

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

It had to be Elsa! The only other person in the store right now was Ella, and she was too far up front to be heard singing. Turning around, Maren pushed the doors open. She looked back and forth. So much like the first time there was no one except for the U-boats, crates, and soda packs. Maren approached one side, moving towards the freezer and cooler. It didn’t look like there was anyone there. Dammit.

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

There it was! It was faint, but it had to have been coming from the other direction! Maren raced down to the other end of Receiving. At the end…that’s where the mystery person had to be! She had to find out who that voice belonged to! She was going to! Tonight was the night!

But when she reached the other end, all she saw was the emergency exit, a trash compactor, and some shelves and bins. Damaged items, she learned upon closer inspection. Once again, there was no one to be found. She may have known now where the damages went at the end of the night and how grocery deliveries came in, but she still had no clue about the mystery voice. Only that it seemed to once in a blue moon haunt her.

Sighing in defeat, Maren pushed open the double doors and wandered back into the store. She exited into the produce section and made her way back around to the registers. Lifting her head, she saw Elsa spraying the first register. She squeezed the nozzle, making sure to get every part that she could. Then she ripped off a sleeve of paper towels, which she had resting on the bag rack. She leaned forward, pushing down onto the metal surface. Did she think she needed to use a lot of elbow grease or something? Was she just being very thorough? Or was it more about passing the time? Whatever the answer, it appeared that she would be getting an apology in the process.

“Hey,” Maren said softly once she was close enough.

Elsa arched her back. “Hi…”

There was an awkward silence as Elsa continued wiping.

“Hey…look, about before…” Maren started.

“Don’t worry about it. It’s nothing,” Elsa lied.

“That’s a pretty big nothing to have a reaction about,” Maren observed. “Was it something any of us said? I’m sorry, I know none of us meant anything…”

Elsa held up her hand, specifically the one with the now dirtied paper towel. “I’d rather not discuss it.”

Maren sighed. She wasn’t going to argue. Elsa obviously didn’t want to accept her apology. She felt bad there was nothing else she could do. She just wished she knew what went wrong. Maren couldn’t even begin to count the number of possibilities. But, then again, like Nani said they didn’t really talk about their social lives. It was quite possible that they had only hit a sore spot for Elsa. Or she really had no social life. No wonder she didn’t want to hear about what any of them did outside of work then. Maren remembered how Elsa pulled a double shift the week before; she was exhausted. And even in her regular shift she did so much. How the hell would the woman ever have any time for herself?

Maren waited a minute, which gave Elsa just enough time to finish cleaning the top of the register before starting to spray the sides. She picked up the bottle again, and then sprayed across. She then knelt down with a fresh paper towel to wipe it down. Maren took the opportunity to grab the used sheet and throw it in the garbage can nearby.

“Is…is there anything I can do to help?”

There was a pause. Maren wished she could see through Elsa, to read her facial expression or something. She just didn’t want to bother her again.

“Could you start spraying register two please?”

Maren held in a sigh of relief. It wasn’t much, but it was something. “Of course.” Kneeling down, she picked up the spray bottle. She stepped lightly to the next register and turned on the belt so she could start spraying. The only sound between them for the moment was the spritz and the sound of the belt moving. Was it supposed to be awkward?

“So…”

No not awkward at all.

“Art major, huh?”

She could feel Elsa’s eyes behind her. Why had that been the only thing Maren could think of? She waited anxiously for the lull to come to an end.

“Fine art, actually. With a concentration in sculpting.”

Maren turned. “Why sculpting?”

“I toyed with a few options. As far as art was considered, it was between architecture and sculpting. But knowing how bad the recession was and it made the search for jobs all the more challenging, I chose fine art,” Elsa explained. She stood and moved the paper towels to the second register. She switched positions with Maren so Elsa would wipe the belt and Maren would spray the other end. “I know it may seem silly, but logically when the economy is bad buildings struggle to pay rent. It wouldn’t make sense to go into a field where no one was paying to build anything. At least in sculpting there’s always freelance work. I could work off commissions and maybe go into teaching eventually. If anything else, as a plan b.”

Maren stared at Elsa almost blankly. She didn’t even realize she was spraying the same spot over and over again. It had to have been the most Elsa shared of her life so far. What else did Maren even know about her? She had a sister; that wasn’t a lot to work off of.

“But why? I mean…is it really that different from architecture?” she asked.

“I like to think of it as different scales using different materials to create different things. Architecture is creating these grand scale buildings, or even simple ones. They can be for work or living or shelter…they’re big structures. Sculpting can be made of so many different things. Clay; ice; marble, to name a few. And they don’t have to be made with a purpose. Sculptures can have a use, similar to pottery. Maybe you want to create a replica of something or someone. Or maybe you just want to create something to look at. Something realistic or abstract. There’s less rules,” she said.

Maren took a step back. “Have you created anything?”

“Not recently. I’ve been too busy here,” Elsa answered. She moved to wipe the other end. “College and grad school don’t pay for themselves.”

Maren scoffed. “True that.”

“What about you?” Elsa inquired. “What did you major in?”

It almost felt embarrassing to talk about schooling. There Elsa was discussing her plan, the logistics behind it, and something she was actually passionate about. Maren could hardly say the same thing.

“I’m…actually in school now,” she admitted.

“What for?” Elsa asked.

“Undecided,” Maren sighed. “It’s…kind of a long story.”

“We have time,” she replied. Elsa pointed to the side of the register, signaling for Maren to spray it. The brunette obeyed, keeping her eyes glued to the machine as she spoke.

“I didn’t go to college right away. After I graduated I had no clue what I wanted to do. My brother kind of always knew. But for me…all I ever really thought about was taking care of him. Making sure no one picked on him in school. Keeping him out of trouble. Helping him study. Saving him from looking like a dork in front of his crushes. Actually…I still kind of do that last one with him.”

She thought she heard a giggle escape Elsa.

“Anyway…after our parents died, it was just me and Ryder. Our aunt took us in and did everything for us. But it wasn’t her responsibility. And even though we were just kids, I was still older. It was my job to protect Ryder. So I kinda kept my focus on him. I didn’t really think too much about what I wanted out of life. So when the time came to look at colleges…well, we were both kinda nervous wrecks. Ryder didn’t think he had the grades to make it in anywhere. I couldn’t look at schools not knowing what I wanted to focus in. We toured a few schools, and Ryder absolutely loved it. But when I saw him get excited about the prospect of meeting other people like him, of working with animals and being able to do something with his life…I felt completely outta place. So I came up with this idea to travel for a bit. Just take a road trip, see some different places, get a feel of the world. I figured my calling had to be out there somewhere.”

Elsa nodded. She wiped down almost right after where Maren spritzed. There was a brief pause between them. “I lost my parents as well. So…dealing with the grieving and trying to protect your sibling while still trying to find your way in the world…trying to find _yourself_ ….” She sighed. “I’m sorry you also had to go through that.”

Maren tilted her head in her coworker’s direction slightly. “I’m sorry, too.”

Their stares lingered. Perhaps a bit too long for Elsa’s liking. After what only felt like a few seconds to Maren, Elsa quickly rose and moved to the next register.

“So…. Where did you travel to?”

“Wherever I could find a cheap motel for a night or two,” Maren chuckled. “The first couple of weeks were great. But it was also the longest and furthest I’ve been from Ryder. So when I went back home for the holidays, Ryder announced he wanted to travel with me. He dropped out of school and everything. Heh, Yelena was pissed. And trust me, my aunt _always_ looks pissed. But that time, it was worse than usual.”

“And you’ve been together since?” Elsa surmised.

“Where one of us went, the other followed,” Maren nodded. “It got annoying sometimes. I still had to watch his back and make sure he didn’t do anything stupid. And sometimes it got hard for me to be involved with anyone. But it still gave me the opportunity to explore. Me, what I liked and didn’t like, things I wanted to do, what kind of people I liked, places I might wanna see…. We did that for a couple of years. Eventually Ryder decided he wanted to go back to school. I think it was just to get close to some guy he met, but he knew exactly what he wanted to do. And I kept him away from it long enough.”

“It doesn’t sound like you kept him away from anything. He chose to go with you,” Elsa noticed. “My sister can be the same way sometimes. Where one of us goes, the other follows.”

“You’re close with huh, too, huh?” Maren grinned.

“She means everything to me,” she said without missing a beat. “We lost a lot of time together when we were younger. And we promised that would never happen again. And now, even if the quarantine keeps us apart, we know and understand how much closer we are now. I may not be able to see her every day, but at least now I get to talk to her every day.”

“And she can drive you completely crazy for it, right?” Maren guessed.

That time, Elsa definitely giggled. “All the time.”

“That’s ok, though. We’re the older siblings so we got all the dirt on them,” Maren laughed.

Elsa shook her head. “So you live with your brother still? Are you both in school?”

“He graduated last semester. He’s still interning at the clinic where he was his senior year,” Maren answered. “I have a few ideas of what I might wanna major in, so I made sure to sign up for a couple of different classes to get a better feel. I’ve got one more semester to make a decision.”

“Have you come up with anything?” Elsa asked.

“Well I think I can eliminate marketing from my list of prospects,” she joked. “If it’s anything like retail, hard pass.”

“I don’t blame you. Even with a degree it’s difficult to be taken seriously around here,” Elsa nodded. “So mathematics is out, I take it? What about science? Humanities? Liberal arts? Languages?”

“I couldn’t be creative enough to save my ass,” Maren said. “I’m definitely not logical. Considering my first response is to punch someone.”

“Your first response is to be protective,” she corrected. “There’s a lot you can do with that. Have you considered therapy? Counseling? Social work? Wrestling?”

Maren smirked. “Someone’s got jokes.”

Elsa held up a hand. “Hey if you looked like you were ready to jump into the ring no one would question you.”

“I think I could hold my own in a fight. I’m pretty tough,” Maren bragged. She set the bottle down and flexed her bicep. She earned a playful smirk from the blonde. “Hey, you just can’t see it too well under my layers. I’m wearing a shirt under the uniform, you can’t even tell.”

“Sure. That’s what it is,” Elsa rolled her eyes.

“Oh whatever. You’ll see when it gets warmer outside and I show up in short sleeves. Then you’ll be dealing with a dick customer and wonder where I am to punch him out cold,” the brunette mused.

“In your dreams, maybe,” Elsa teased.

Actually Maren wouldn’t completely mind that. She liked these moments with Elsa. The conversations she had with Ella and Nani…. Ella felt like kin somehow. Nani felt like someone to chill with. But Elsa? With their banter, their comfort, their sharing…it almost felt like she could be an actual friend. Maren liked the idea. She could almost picture them grabbing lunch one afternoon and then carpool to work. Maybe after a shift, if they were both free the next day, they could crash together. Hang out at one of their homes. What would it even be like to see Elsa outside of work? What did she dress like? Was her hair always tied back? Was she as pristine and tidy as she appeared? Did she like animals? Where did she like to eat?

Maren’s heart nearly picked up speed at the prospects. The possibilities. The implications.

Did…? Was it possible…? After only…? Already…?

Was this a crush?

Heh. It sounded so silly. But then again, who didn’t fantasize about someone at some point? What were the odds it would even amount to anything more? It wasn’t like they could do anything anyway. Thanks to the virus and the damn quarantine, work was the only place anyone would be able to interact.

“Anyway.” Elsa’s voice cut through Maren’s many thoughts. “We should keep cleaning. Do you want to listen to anything?”

Maren blinked. “What do you mean?”

“There’s only three of us here. We can put something on Spotify,” Elsa clarified. “Before the limited hours, when Nani would do throwbacks on her nights she’d bring her iPod and be plugged into her music. Normally none of us would be able to do that because of customers. But there’s none around now.”

Huh. That actually sounded tempting. It would be nice to lighten the mood. Not to mention find out what music Elsa liked to listen to.

Oh! Music!

“Hey, um….” What was a good way to word this without sounding insane? “Does anyone sing?”

Elsa tilted her head. “Come again?”

Maren shook her head. “What I mean is…is, are we allowed to sing?”

“I don’t see why not. I’m sure I’ve heard Ella sing while she does throwbacks.” Elsa glanced down by the Crap Corner before lowering her voice. “Ella tries to keep quiet, but I don’t think she knows sometimes we can hear her.”

Maren tried not to show any reaction. So…Ella was known to sing at night. At least, when supposedly no one was around. That would make total sense why Maren would never find the person. If it were Ella, she’d probably sing when she thought no one was listening or even around. And the way she moved through the throwbacks, Maren didn’t find it unbelievable that she could weave in and out of the aisles so quickly. Could Ella have been the voice?

“And…does…. Does anyone else…? Sing? That, that you know of?” she asked.

Elsa blinked. Maren wished she could read what that reaction meant. Did she throw her off somehow? Did Elsa sing? Did she know someone who sang but didn’t want to divulge further information? Maybe it was Nani; if Nani was plugged into her iPod she may not even realize she sang loud enough to be heard. Could it have been Snow? She didn’t work too late past closing but…. Maren tried to think back to the voice and compare it. The few notes weren’t much to go off of, and not everyone’s speaking voice matched their singing one.

Tone wise, the softness was similar to Ella’s. Pitch wise it was closer to Snow’s. It could have been similar to Elsa’s speaking voice, but the singing voice was much louder; Elsa spoke in a quieter manner, for the most part. And it sure as hell sounded absolutely nothing like Nani’s voice. Who else could it have been?

“Maren? Maren?”

Maren’s head shook rapidly. “Sorry. Did you say something?” She wasn’t even paying attention anymore.

“Oh…I was just saying that, that I don’t think so. About the singing. I try not to eavesdrop, though. I just happened to overhear Ella before so…so that’s how I know,” Elsa reiterated.

Ok. That made sense. But it also felt like a letdown. Maren was no closer to figuring out the identity of the mystery singer. And somehow, instead, she’d gotten closer to Elsa. It was like she was pining after two women. When she was supposed to be focusing on just making some money and surviving the stupid pandemic. While trying to figure out her life. As she was trapped in online classes. While working in retail hell. Pining for two different women.

Shit why did this have to be so damn complicated?

And even more frustrating, why couldn’t Maren just want one woman?!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry not sorry but i have absolutely no regrets about temporarily torturing Elsa in the beginning of this chapter. Especially since it ended with her bonding with Maren a little bit more. A career path for Elsa in a modern AU feels pretty obvious, although i'm aware that maybe i focus on the art aspect too much knowing Elsa's a more logical person. (This was totally not an excuse for me to make any art references either. i did a powerpoint presentation on Camille Claudel in college and prove me wrong Elsa wouldn't reference a female artist if given the opportunity.) It was a bit more challenging figuring out something for Maren which is why i opted to make her undecided but she does seem like someone who would want to travel at some point. After all that time in cannon being trapped behind the mist why wouldn't she wanna get out? This also seemed like a good time to throw the actual voice back in. Even though the more i write the less of a plot point it becomes, it still exists. Plus if i'm gonna torture Elsa by having Nani announced when she's getting some, Maren can be tortured by thinking she's falling for two different women lol. But on the bright side, at least Maren's finally actually accepting the fact that she does like Elsa because DUH of course she does! Now if only we can get Elsa to open up to anything!
> 
> As far as the world of retail goes, the limited hours definitely gives us coworkers more time to interact and while there are some nights there's a lot of things to do, others not so much. One night there were so few things to put back on the shelves i actually did resort to checking for expired candy. I will save you the horrors of how old some of them buried in the back or at the bottom were. (Sidenote that's what happens when i'm the only one who ever offers to actually look.) But having Spotify on in the background is very accurate and i'm guilty of blasting Disney, Frozen, and High School Musical playlists as i take care of throwbacks after hours. #noshame
> 
> I'm gonna aim to share the next chapter i finished on Monday, or whatever day off i have next week. Spoiler - it involves Anna finally! Until then, see you guys behind the register where i'll be doodling Anna and Elsa in between customers!
> 
> [Disclaimer: Maren's opinion on who hasn't fantasized about someone is her opinion and does not reflect the opinion of this fangirl who only fantasizes about chocolate, adorable fluffy animals, and OTPs.]


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The crazy weeks continue filled with the worst of the worst customers, continuing to go out into the horrors of the world, and wondering how the hell my coworkers aren't sick of me yet! (The last part i say jokingly, we all wonder how we're not sick of each other yet! Every time i see one of them the next day my greeting is, 'oh hi coworker long time no see it's been less than 10 hours!') Anyway as usual thank you for the kudos and for continuing to read this mess of a story. Let me get to responding to the latest comments quick.  
> @holographicbubbles - lol no not stupid at all! i was trying to make it obvious it was Cinderella with her naming her mice Jaq, Gus, and Mary, and always bringing up dreams...good to know i'm not pushing Ella too much in this story because apparently i can't write her in character XD But writing this is definitely serving as a distraction from the actual horrors of retail and, as sad as it probably is to say this, i'm happy to be working and knowing i'm doing something right to keep going in almost every day. Thank you, Bubbles! i'm glad you are enjoying this all things considered! :)  
> @fanficfruitts - Don't worry, sooner or later Maren will find out the truth! And probably sooner rather than later her crush on Elsa will actually become obvious lol. i'm glad you're enjoying this and thank you for commenting on i think every chapter so far! :)  
> @Ravrav - Unfortunately i can't tell you where anyone is hiding because that may or may not involve me giving away my hiding places at work.... 0.0 Ok fine, i usually hide in plain sight at work but there are definitely still places to hide! Maren's first step though is figuring out how the hell to survive in retail. It's over 5 years and i'm still trying to figure out this secret but don't worry, i won't keep you waiting THAT long! XD
> 
> Now i think it's time we take a brief break from retail and spend a chapter with Elsa....

“Heeeeeeey favorite big sister in the whole world!”

Anna’s smiling freckled face flashed across Elsa’s phone screen. The redhead spoke in the sweetest possible voice and was smiling so wide it looked as though her cheeks were going to crush her eyes. Elsa knew that look and tone all too well.

Anna needed something.

Elsa couldn’t say she was completely surprised. Most times it was something as simple as asking her to pick up something from Oaken’s during her shift. Other times it was a ploy to get Elsa to go out with Anna for a night. Not even as sisterly bonding time, as a social outing. Anna’s made countless attempts to drag Elsa out on the town to make friends and has failed every time. Or perhaps it was Elsa who had failed since she had barely been able to keep a conversation going with anyone for more than a few minutes. Considering the current circumstances, it was likely the former.

“What do you need me to get this time Anna?” the blonde asked, giving her sister a deadpan stare.

Anna gasped dramatically. “Why do you think I always need something from you? Can’t I just FaceTime my favorite sister?”

“I’m your only sister,” Elsa reminded her.

“Oh details, details,” Anna brushed it off.

“Anna.” She narrowed her gaze at her sister. Even if they were face to face over a screen instead of in front of each other, there was no doubt they’d have the same effect. Anna would give her hopeful, sweet tone and look. Elsa would respond with a stoic stare. Anna would break her down and ultimately ask for something and then Elsa, being the protective sister that she was, would eventually give into Anna. Sometimes it would take longer than others. The last instance where Anna insisted on dragging Elsa and their cousin to a bar for a girl’s night out, it took five straight minutes of the puppy dog stare for Elsa to crack. Anna could be relentless when she wanted to.

“Ok fine,” the redhead groaned. She took in a deep breath. “Could you please, please, _please_ take in Sven for us for a while?”

Elsa blinked. Worry instantly consumed her face. “Why? What happened? Is everyone alright?”

“Everything’s fine…. For now…. We think….”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. She wasn’t fond of the way Anna took elongated pauses between each of those sentences.

Anna sighed. “Kristoff just called me from the clinic. One of his coworkers is coming down with something. They’re starting to cough and lose their voice. It’s probably just a cold. But with this whole Coronavirus thing, Kristoff doesn’t wanna risk bringing something to Sven.”

“When did this start happening?” Elsa asked.

“Over the weekend. They weren’t scheduled to come in yesterday so Kristoff didn’t have interactions with that coworker then but…” Anna’s voice faded.

Elsa sighed. She knew all too well where this was going. “They thought they were feeling well enough to go in today only to continue dealing with this and now are putting their coworkers and animals at risk potentially.”

“We don’t know that for sure,” Anna quickly defended the person. Leave it to Anna to want to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. “Kristoff’s just trying to be careful.”

“Can the coworker get tested for the virus?” Elsa asked.

“I don’t know. Kristoff didn’t go into any details yet,” Anna replied. “He’s just worried about Sven.”

“I understand that. But Anna, you also have to understand. I am just as much at risk, if not more so, for exposing Sven to something. I may not deal with customers the entirety of my shift but I still have to be in the store and touch or move or clean things that other people have come into contact with. There’s every chance I could be bringing something home every night,” the blonde explained.

“But you’re not. Bruni’s still fine isn’t he?” she replied.

Elsa briefly glanced behind her to the cat lounging on her pillow. Although his almost entire silver body seemed tinted with the faintest hues of blue, that was likely because of the way the color of Elsa’s bedroom reflected off the light of the window. He was half curled up, leg slightly twitching in the process. He tilted his head once, then twice, then three times, his head hitting the headboard of the bed in the process. Not once did the cat seem fazed by it, as he continued the same reaction. After about five or six times of the same repetition, his head jerked up and he turned onto his belly. He looked back and forth around the room, staring blankly. He seemed to do that without blinking for an extended amount of time before merely sticking his tongue out and leaving it as such.

Elsa couldn’t fight the small smile that crossed her face watching her furry companion. “He’s still Bruni, that’s for sure.”

The cat’s reactions were nothing out of the ordinary at all. Elsa personally liked to think that Bruni had his own process for watching and thinking about everything. Most, when they saw pictures or videos of the creature, seemed concerned for his health. As if there was something wrong with him because he acted so differently. Sometimes it felt like a jab at Elsa as well, because she felt so different from other people. If something was wrong with Bruni there must have been something wrong with her as well. But one look into Bruni’s vacant eyes and Elsa understood him. Bruni was simply Bruni.

“So what do you do after work then?” Anna wondered.

“I don’t touch anything without having a tissue or something on my hand first. Then I spray my uniform, tie it into a bag, and take a shower. No contact with Bruni until after,” Elsa explained.

As much as she would have liked to wash her uniform every night, the laundry room in her apartment was already closed by the time she got home. She often saved it for an early morning on the weekend, allowing her just enough time to wash and dry it before her shift. It was far from perfect and it guaranteed absolutely nothing for Elsa’s safety; however as far as Elsa was concerned, since she continued to go out and work her safety was already hanging in the balance. Though she could be quite the perfectionist, Elsa quickly learned in this chaos that she simply didn’t have enough time or resources to accomplish everything. Elsa prided herself in her detail orientation and perfectionism when it counted, but it wasn’t worth it to potentially cause more work for her comrades. Elsa knew very well that if she began overthinking things then not only would she suffer, but her coworkers would as well.

Elsa sighed. “I’m sorry Anna, but I don’t know if I can take Sven in right now. I go in as late as four or as early as two some days and I’ve already had to work one double. I can’t feed him at dinnertime nor will I ask any of my neighbors to come in if they’ve potentially been exposed as well. And it wouldn’t be fair to Sven to make him wait longer for dinner or until I’m done with a shower and almost midnight before he can go out anywhere. If I had a house with a dog door, of course. But there’s no fenced area for him to run out by himself.”

“Then leave some food out for him while you’re at work. Put down newspapers for him if you have to,” Anna suggested. “Elsa I know it’s a lot to ask. But this is Sven we’re talking about. Kristoff doesn’t trust him to just anyone. I already know I can trust you; I trust you with anything. I wouldn’t be asking this if I thought you were somehow dangerous to him. And you have Bruni; he and Sven are practically brothers. Come on, how can you say no to your nephew?”

Elsa scrunched her nose. “Anna you do realize there are so many things wrong with that family tree, right? How can Bruni and Sven be brothers _and_ cousins?”

“Ugh! It doesn’t matter!” Anna gasped exasperated. “Elsa, I…” She paused and sighed. Anna looked to the side, off screen. Elsa could only assume it was at Sven. She watched her sister’s expression go from innocent to confused to pleading to worried throughout the course of their short conversation. Slowly, their blue eyes met once again. “I can’t lose anyone else, Elsa,” she sighed softly.

Elsa closed her eyes, letting a slow breath escape her lips. She thought back to when they lost their parents. It had come on so suddenly; there was no warning or anything that could have been done to prevent it. But with this virus? There were warning signs. There were precautions to take. If there were something that any of them could have done, then they would absolutely do it. And, as difficult as it was losing their parents, putting Sven at risk would be a worse blow to Kristoff. He didn’t deal with loss the way Anna and Elsa did in the past. Sven was still a puppy; he was only a few years old. He didn’t ask to come into the world. Kristoff was the only family he had. And while he did rely on Anna, Kristoff was there first. He raised him from day one. If that man had let anything happen to that poor animal he’d never be able to forgive himself. Anna was only trying to do her part to help. And she was absolutely right; she would not have called Elsa and asked unless she trusted that she would keep Sven safe.

“How long would it be for?” Elsa asked softly.

“I don’t know how long it’d take for them to get tested. Or how long to get the results,” Anna confessed, “but Kristoff is going to work the rest of the day today. He may decide to self quarantine for at least a week to be safe.”

Elsa took a pause to rub her chin. How long were people supposed to self-quarantine? Or did it depend on what was going on? She believed a week was currently the minimum, but two weeks was encouraged. Anyone who definitely became infected with the virus had to stay in quarantine and remain six feet apart from anyone until further notice. She tried not to research Covid-19 too much. Elsa knew exactly what would happen; she would start looking into the most minuscule details of everything. Every time someone sneezed she would think it was the virus. Every time someone coughed she would flinch, questioning if it was the virus or a common cold. If she had started showing any symptoms, even if it was something as simple as allergies, she would go back and forth wondering which medicines she should take. She would overthink to the point where she would drive herself insane. She would lose focus for her job and other responsibilities. Elsa had to keep herself grounded. And that meant knowing just enough of the basics to get by without freaking out or jumping to conclusions. As long as she knew enough what to do and what she shouldn’t do, she would be fine. And she trusted her coworkers enough to believe they would not put anyone in any danger.

Except for Radcliffe. She wouldn’t trust that man with a pet rock.

“Ok. I can do a week. But I’m going to need Sven’s things,” she decided.

“EEEEEEE! Elsa I love you, you’re the best sister ever!” Anna squealed. “Sven did you hear that? You’re gonna have a sleepover with Bruni and Aunt Elsa!”

The next thing she knew, Sven was pouncing onto the screen panting and wagging his tail. He let out a couple of barks and happily licked Anna’s face. Elsa covered her mouth with her free hand, holding back laughter.

Anna gently nudged Sven down off of her. “Ok here’s what I’ll do. Kristoff gets off at five today. You start work at what, three? I’ll leave with Sven around four with his things, stop at Stop and Shop and buy some more dog food for him. I can feed and walk him at your place and all you have to do is take him out for like five minutes after you get home. I won’t even see Kristoff until after I get home so you know I didn’t come in contact with anything or anyone!”

“Just make sure you bring a pair of gloves to the store with you,” Elsa encouraged. “Oh! And don’t touch anything without having a tissue over your hand here. I’ll leave some Lysol out in case you need to spray anything before you leave. And make sure you at least sanitize before you pet Sven after you shop!”

“Elsa don’t worry,” Anna giggled. “You know how much I hoard from Bath and Body Works. I’ve got plenty of hand sanitizer left!”

Elsa shook her head. She didn’t have the heart to remind Anna it was only because she could never say no to the sales associates when they recommended something to her. That, and Anna could be so damn indecisive sometimes! She’d go in thinking she only needed to buy one or two body washes and leave the store with at least two bags instead!

“I just want you to be careful, Anna,” she said.

“Elsa you do this every day. If you can handle like eight hours of this seven days a week, I can handle an hour or two of it,” she promised.

“But will you be able to handle a week of self-quarantine?” Elsa inquired.

“Pft! How different could it be from social distancing?” Anna scoffed.

“Anna I am telling you this as someone who social distances on a daily basis. Make sure you have something to keep yourself busy,” Elsa encouraged. “I know you. You love to be around people. We don’t know how long this thing is going to last. If the only person you can even be in any close contact with until then is Kristoff….”

“You make it sound like I’m gonna explode or something,” she giggled. “I’m still gonna text you every day. And I’ll call every day now, too, to check on Sven.”

Elsa rolled her eyes. “You call for Sven but not your own sister? Ouch.”

“You know I’m just teasing,” the redhead giggled. “Come on, Elsa. What would I ever do without you?”

The blonde shook her head. “I can think of a few things. But I promise, you’ll always have me.”

“Can you also promise not to replace me with any of your coworkers?” Anna asked. “I just don’t wanna come out of this and find out you somehow have a new sister out of it.”

“They’re my coworkers, not my friends. That’s how it’s always been,” Elsa assured her.

“Maybe it could be different now. I mean, you have no choice but to talk to them every day,” she offered. “Besides it’s not like I can drag you anywhere to meet people. And you can’t survive only spending time with me and Kristoff.”

“That is not true. I also text with Rapunzel on occasion,” Elsa pointed out.

“Family doesn’t count.”

“They do so.”

“Do not.”

“Do so.”

“Do not.”

“Ok I am done with this.”

“Do not.”

“Anna.”

The redhead sighed. “I just….” She looked at the panting dog next to her. She smiled softly at him and rubbed his ear before looking back at her sister. “I just want you to be happy. And I know there’s people out there who can do that for you. I love being the person to always do that for you and I will always, always be here for you no matter what. But you deserve so much more than just me, Elsa. Sometimes you make it seem like there’s no one out there like you or who would understand you.”

Elsa had no desires to drag that particular conversation on. She heard it too many times from Anna in the past. And, even if they had the talk again, the timing would change nothing. No one was allowed to be too close, people getting together in any capacity was discouraged, and Elsa really didn’t enjoy being around people to begin with. Why the hell was she in retail, again?

Oh yeah. Money.

“You just don’t get it, Anna. And that’s ok. You don’t have to. You just have to trust me.”

“I do trust you. More than anyone. I think I make that loud and clear!” she argued.

“You do,” the elder nodded. “But sometimes it just seems you don’t fully trust my judgment. And certainly not when it comes to people. The fact of the matter is that I am different. It’s best if I don’t expect anything from anyone, whether it’s friendship or even understanding. I’ve made it this far on my own, Anna. I can keep going and I will.”

“You can’t keep the walls up forever, Elsa,” Anna said. “Especially now. Everything in our world is unraveling. It’s only a matter of time before we do, too.”

“And that’s exactly why I have my work to keep me distracted,” she promised. “As does Bruni. And I know Sven will, too.” She paused. Elsa took a breath before quickly adding as fast as she could in one swoop, “By the way in exchange for puppysitting for the next week there will be no discussing, dissing, or forcing of anything to do with my social life for the first two months after this mess is over, I have the right to refuse any and all social hangouts for the first two months, and I expect absolutely no ploys or setups whatsoever. Good? Great. So glad we had this talk, sis. Gotta go to work, love you, bye!”

“Els-“

Elsa quickly slammed the End Call button with her finger, cutting Anna off before she could argue further. Letting out a rather loud groan, Elsa flew her body back onto the bed. Her platinum blonde locks spread out beneath her and her blue pools gazed up at her blank ceiling. She loved her sister dearly, but sometimes simply talking with Anna could just be so draining!

Turning her head to the side slightly, she put her focus on Bruni instead, whose tongue was still sticking out, as it was earlier. “And what do you think about all of this?”

Bruni tilted his head. He moved off the pillow and scooted so he was more in Elsa’s view to her right. He stood still for a moment, almost like a statue, his bright blue eyes meeting the icier shade of Elsa’s. Then, suddenly, he plopped down onto his belly and rolled onto his back. He proceeded to stick his tongue in and out multiple times, as if he were a chameleon attempting to catch a fly hovering over him.

“Heh. Should I know what that means?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Should i tag that Bruni is a cat for this even if he doesn't show up much? lol. I have no idea what compelled me to make him a cat, i just see Elsa as someone definitely having a pet in Modern AU.
> 
> As for her having the notion that he coworkers aren't and won't become her friends, it's a dirty lie. While i can't say i'm friends with more than one coworker, maybe two, outside of work, i have gotten close enough to a few of them to basically call them my second family. (I have two work moms, a work sister, a work aunt, and a work brother.) Anyway the goal with this chapter was, all things considered, to make it more lighthearted with the sisterly bond that Anna and Elsa share. I personally always gravitate towards the comedic or quirky characters so i definitely hope to find more ways to include Anna in this story! I just love imagining that, even in serious situations, there'll always be a hint of playfulness to the sisters. It's also wishful thinking for me, writing any sibling relationships as an only child. Ok, it's cause i love Anna, too. And once again, even in Elsa's point of view there's probably more questions than answers. There are hints and, eventually, some will be revealed. Feel free to take any guesses about anything. Like, what happened with Maren's last relationship? What's the story with Anna and Elsa's parents? Why does Elsa think she's so different? Will i actually define her orientation? Answers to be revealed eventually!
> 
> So with the whole virus aspect of the story, not everything is likely completely accurate. It's not the point of this story to entirely follow reality because the point is, even if it is inspired by the current situation, the point is still to escape. I write as an escape and in general i get creative for the sake of others whether it's writing or drawing, for someone else to relate to or feel something from it. I will say this though, Elsa's work process is similar to mine in the way that i do what i can to make sure my family isn't affected without going overboard. My mom is also considered an essential worker and, while she's only doing two days a week and the rest of her job from home as possible, she's been essential in keeping me level headed. So like with Elsa trying to avoid overwhelming herself with facts and going overboard on every precaution imaginable, my mom reminds me that i'm doing what i can and that we do our part together, especially to make sure my grandma doesn't become affected. And if i haven't said it already, anyone who's left thank you's or words of encouragement for my working right now, thank you so much. I try not to let it get to me too much because i'm not used to getting thanked for being a cashier because it's "not a real job" even though it absolutely is. So those comments from the customers from the past still kind of overpower the thank you's but it doesn't change the appreciation i feel from you guys, and for everyone else working right now as well.
> 
> The next chapter will come later in the week during another hectic schedule. Here's hoping i can find some time to miraculously write some more in the process. Take a breather guys, cause the next one is gonna be a doozy! Until then i'll be at the register or self scan. Hang in there everyone!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Confession: i wasn't sure if i was even gonna post this chapter tonight. I had a pretty sucky day at work and it wasn't even because of any customers, it involved coworkers instead. So i wasn't exactly keen on re-reading this chapter one more time and make any final corrections before posting when one of the main topics of this story is coworkers supporting coworkers. Meanwhile today didn't feel like that for me. But it's a pretty big chapter and i didn't wanna keep you guys waiting. As usual thank you guys for the kudos and kinds words you left in any comments!  
> @coldname - I'm glad you're enjoying the fic so much. I can't say how much will be revealed about Elsa and Anna's or Maren's families and stories any time soon but i'm glad you're on the ride wth us. Thank you! :)  
> @Archie - i hope you don't miss this update too or else you're gonna have a TON of catching up to do next time around :P It was fun to write Anna and Elsa's dynamic. I'm a sucker for opposites attract and that's kinda what the sisters are. There's definitely a goal to add more of that eventually. There's definitely a slow build up with Elsa and Maren happening and while i'm not gonna say how accurate your prediction on Maren aka Cassanova slamming the door open is, i can say there will definitely be a lot of [internal] door slamming happening! And we all know Elsa has a thing about doors lol.
> 
> One disclaimer before starting the chapter. The end note is gonna be A LOT. I naturally have this need to explain my thought process and myself (i claim it's to help clear anything up or answer questions but that's probably not super accurate), but with so much happening in this chapter it's gonna be a lot more than usual. So feel free to skip that! With that i leave you with one sentence to summarize this chapter...remember when Maren claimed her coworkers were just her coworkers and they weren't going to turn into friends or become like family or anything to her? LIES!
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - There are mentions of characters losing their parents in this chapter, so a conversation involving grief does take place after the page break when it's Snow, Elsa, and Maren in the break room. So, anyone who is uncomfortable with those topics please tread cautiously. Prior to that there is a horrible customer story here so not sure if that's a trigger warning specifically as well, but the retail stories and customers do tend to get pretty tense and i know for anyone who does or has worked in retail, it can sometimes hit a sore spot. And there's a _lot_ of horrible customer stories in this story in general so i will do my best to give a heads up about them.]

It was no wonder Maren had been asked to come in early. To say the store was packed was a severe understatement. It seemed for every manageable shift Maren had seen there would be at last five insane ones.

One cashier asked to go home early; and considering the panic, no one was going to take any chances if a coworker wasn’t feeling well. From what Maren could tell, when she came in there were three out of six registers opened, and one of the self scans was down.

The line for regular registers was down Aisle 6, Maren believed? Either Aisle 6 or 7; it seemed to fluctuate between the two each shift. And there were no signs of it slowing down. People were attempting to cut in behind the current customers left and right only to throw fits when they were told to go to the back of the line.

Maren lost count of how many times she heard the triple ding at self scan, signaling that a customer’s order needed to be transferred for some reason.

The number of plastic bags on Maren’s register was thinning. She was running low on her supply underneath and Ella, on the register in front of her, already asked for a spare sleeve. There was simply no chance for anyone to page Elsa to bring out a new box.

Elsa was in the cash office, as far as Maren knew. She didn’t have time to ask; Elsa had only been able to manually clock her in before being told to hop on register five. Maren could only assume that, once again, Radcliffe had not done the entirety of his job before clocking out.

Now if only Maren could do her other job, a.k.a. being a student.

Ultimately, that would have to wait until the morning. At the moment Maren’s only focus could be on the customer in front of her. A polite one, thank god. So many people were putting up a fuss about needing to wait on the already long line; it was always a welcome change of pace to have someone who actually seemed to understand the situation and even thanked Maren for working.

Not that she needed to be thanked to work, of course. If anyone should be thanking her it should probably be her brother…but she wouldn’t rub that in his face. Besides, why should she be thanked for doing something she needed to do? Maren made a mental note that when this was all over to thank cashiers no matter what. It wasn’t a matter of doing what they needed to in order to survive, it was a matter of working under the conditions they always did. She was definitely gaining a new appreciation for the workers.

If only every customer could be that understanding.

While Maren was making small talk with her current customer, she could faintly overhear the man at Snow’s register behind her. While in most cases, Snow’s unmistakable high pitch would be crystal clear the man’s booming bass voice seemed to overpower hers. She caught bits and pieces of what he was saying.

As Maren shifted her body to bag the packs of Bubba Burgers – oh the store finally got some back in stock! – She tilted her head towards her coworker. Snow appeared to keep the ruse of a polite, compliant retail worker. She nodded and listened to the customer’s complaint all while trying her best to keep a smile on her face. Maren couldn’t get a good look at the customer from the back of his head, but she guessed he was likely middle aged or a bit older. A quick glance to the cart showed he had four packs of water in his cart. Maren furrowed her brows, knowing full well as did Snow that it was twice the limit. The customer was probably complaining about her asking him to put two of the packs back.

As he should. 28-packs were difficult to come by now and, some days, Oaken’s was lucky if they even had 12-packs in stock.

“Look here, missy. The limit is two? Fine, two for my family and two for my mama,” the customer said. That statement was loud and clear, if anything else.

“I’m sorry sir, but it’s two per house…” Snow attempted to explain.

“Exactly! Two different houses. Ya can’t argue me on that one,” he retorted.

Maren attempted to throw Snow a questioning glance, as if to ask if she needed any help. Snow shook her head once, but Maren was unsure what that was in response to. It could have been to the customer, once again trying to tell him no. She could have merely turned her head slightly to catch Maren before focusing on him once again. Or she was simply telling Maren no. She wished she knew which it was; knowing Snow, it could have been any of those. The poor girl always looked so guilt-ridden when she needed to ask for help.

Maren was forced to turn her back to them in order to put the plastic bag on top of the belt. She continued scanning the customer’s order while the lady moved her wagon forward and took out her reusable bags to start packing herself. At least someone noticed the sign that stated cashiers weren’t allowed to contact a customer’s own bags. Maren of course apologized when she could, but most have understood. Some even seemed to prefer it that way, so they could pack however they pleased.

Why couldn’t it be as easy as explaining a damn item limit?

Suddenly there was a slam from behind. Maren’s body swished around; it must have been from the man hitting the metal machine.

“Look here, I need these four waters! My mother just finished chemo and can’t go anywhere! You wanna put her in an early grave cause you’re tellin me she can’t have her damn water??”

Maren’s eyes widened. She saw Snow shake her head and take a step back. Her mouth quivered, attempting to get some sort of response in. But, so much like many entitled customers, this one continued.

“I got a family to feed! I got a mama to keep! I gotta do everything for them and what are ya doin? Workin here when you should be at home doin your schoolwork! Ain’t your mama ever teach you to stay in school?”

This was getting out of hand. “Excuse me,” Maren told her customer quickly. She slid out of her little space and scooted around to Snow’s side of the register. “Snow, you ok?”

Snow turned and nodded briefly. “Yes, I’m fine. It’s just…”

“You the manager?” the man demanded. “Why you keep sendin her into work here? Can’t ya see she’s as pale as a ghost? She gonna catch corona before any of us! She looks like she should already be layin in a coffin!”

Maren held her hands up. “Not the manager. I’m just asking her if she needs help.” Doing her best to keep her composure, Maren stood straight and placed her hands on her hips. “But even the manager would tell you, the waters and toilet paper are two per house and customer. No one can buy more than two at once.”

“Then I’ll pay for em separately!” the customer yelled.

“Doesn’t work that way either,” Maren shook her head. “We’re not allowed to ring anyone up for more than two waters. You have to put two back.”

“I don’t have to do nothin!” he argued. “Just ring me up for the waters, dammit!”

“We’re under specific instructions with the water, toilet paper, and paper towels,” Maren replied. “That’s the policy we’re supposed to follow until it changes.”

“And I got my own policy to keep my family goin!” he retorted furiously. “Just cause this one’s mama don’t care sendin her into this death trap don’t mean I gotta do the same!”

Maren’s eyes widened. There was no question about it. A line had been crossed. And if that hadn’t been obvious on the man’s comment alone, it was painfully clear from the look on Snow’s face. In the blink of an eye everything about the teenager changed. She stood frozen as a statue, a chill air suddenly seeming to surround her. The sweet, cute, if not naïve aura around her – the one that Elsa praised not too long ago as a key component in their group dynamic – was suddenly replaced with one that could only be described as dark. So dark, in fact, that Snow might as well have been fading into it. Fading until something flew inside causing glass to shatter. Suddenly Snow had become broken. The girl wobbled on her feet, almost looking as if she were struggling to stand. Maren instinctively stepped closer to place her hands on Snow’s shoulders to keep her balanced. Another minute and it looked like Snow was going to burst. No. Maren was not going to let that happen. Not out here.

Thinking quickly, her head snapped behind her to self scan. “Nani! Page Elsa, tell her to come out now! I’m getting Snow outta here.”

With no time to explain anything else, Maren carefully guided Snow away from the register and started gently pushing her towards the back. There was only one place she could think of where Snow would be safe from prying eyes. Where no customer was allowed. Where she could take all the time she needed to let it go. As she helped Snow towards the break room, she could hear Nani’s voice over the loudspeaker.

“Elsa to register six. Elsa to register six.”

Maren paid no mind to the customers they passed by nor did she think about her own she left behind. Maren didn’t even care if she was going to get reprimanded for this. There was no way in hell she was going to let Snow stand there defenseless and take unwarranted comments like that from anyone. She couldn’t think of any other word to use as a description for that mess except cruel.

Sadly, Maren already knew the world could be cruel. She saw the cruelty when kids picked on her brother in grade school. She experienced the cruelty towards her when she came out as bi. She read cruelty in the headlines, when articles talked about police brutality and focusing more on the cop who was “defending themself” more than the innocent life that was needlessly taken away. She felt the cruelty looking at some of the pictures of animals Ryder’s clinic took in, seeing the trauma caused to poor innocent creatures. She recalled all too well the cruelty of heartbreak and how much a person's words could truly break someone. And she knew no cruelty like the cruelty of life, the life she lived in which her parents were taken from her too soon.

Perhaps Maren wasn’t one to talk. There were people who suffered worse. There were people who dealt with more cruelty on a daily basis than Maren had in her twenty-something years of life. But if she had any say in it, there was no way in hell anyone was going to be so needlessly cruel to a teenager. Especially one as delicate and innocent as Snow.

Once they were inside the break room, Maren closed the door behind her with her foot. Snow didn’t even make it to the table; she leaned up against the nearest wall and slid down. Almost in the same motion, she curled up into a ball and buried her head into her knees. She pulled her body in close to her, shaking as she sobbed quietly. Maren’s face fell watching the sight. This was what working in retail did.

No…it wasn’t just retail. Much as Maren wished she could blame it all on the job, that was only a portion of it. The other half was the people. The people who were too impatient to care who they were talking or complaining to. The people who were so entitled they thought it best to yell at a child if it meant getting their way. The people who were letting their anger and fear of this new normal completely take over them. The people taking any anger or uncertainty they were experiencing out on an innocent person, who was indeed risking their life to come to work every day.

If Maren recalled correctly, Snow only started working a few months ago. It must have been almost as soon as she turned sixteen. A _child_ was needlessly risking her life amid the Covid-19 panic so everyone else could buy the food they needed for their own children. And there that same child was, being reduced to tears because some idiot had the nerve to speak to her otherwise. To think that if Snow was doing this then she wasn’t wanted or needed. Criticizing Snow’s family as if they were the ones to blame for this mess.

Maybe Maren would have loved to storm back out there and punch him in the face. If anything, she certainly wanted to get as close as she possibly could just so she could scream in his face and tell him what a jackass he was being. That no one talked to Snow that way. To anyone that way.

Instead she sat beside her coworker. Even on her knees Maren almost seemed to tower over Snow’s petite figure. Or maybe that was just the way Maren presented herself, as if she could somehow will herself to look taller than she was. Screw the six-foot rule. Snow needed something. She needed someone. Without completely thinking about what she should or shouldn’t do, Maren simply wrapped her arms around Snow and hugged her tight. She didn’t feel her lean in at all, but she didn’t push her away either. If anything, Snow shook harder and her sobs became more audible. Maren hoped that it meant Snow was comfortable enough around her to let it out and that Maren wasn’t making things worse.

“Hey,” she whispered, “don’t let what that guy said get to you. Ok? You’re safe. I got you.” She gently ran her hand up and down Snow’s shoulder and kept her head just above Snow’s curls. Maren sat there for as long as she was allowed to which, unfortunately, had been reduced to a mere few minutes.

_“Maren please return to the front.”_

The brunette closed her eyes and exhaled deeply. Dammit, Nani, she thought. But Maren understood why. It was still a madhouse out there and Maren ditched. They were now not only down one cashier but two. As much as Maren wanted to stay and continue comforting Snow, as much as she knew she should, there was simply no way around it.

“Ok…listen up, Snow.” She couldn’t have quite the same calm yet commanding tone that Elsa did, but Maren did her best to substitute. Her voice was steady and soft and she hoped there was just enough authority in it that would make Snow listen to her. “You stay back here as long as you need to, ok? Don’t come back outside. As soon as I can I’m coming back to check on you. I can’t stay now but as soon as they let me, I’m coming back to you. You got that? Nod for yes, nudge for no.”

There was a pause. No response.

“Snow…don’t worry about it out there, ok? I’ll handle it. We’ll all take care of it out there. Stay here until I come back for you. You got that?” she tried again.

Another pause.

Then, reluctantly, Snow gave the weakest of nods.

Maren sighed with relief. “Ok. I’m gonna come back as soon as I can. Just wait here for me. You’re safe back here.”

She wished she had more time than that. That she could say more than she was able to. But she couldn’t let Nani step away from self scan to page her again. Cautiously, she pulled away from Snow and forced herself back to her feet. Maren glanced at her watch on her way back to the front. Just two more hours, just two more hours. They had to make it that long.

Naturally, upon returning to the register Maren received a puzzled stare from Elsa. The blonde was on what was Maren’s register and, from the corner of Maren’s eyes she could see the back of someone very tall at customer service. They were talking to the customer from before, the one that nearly cursed Snow out. Maren shook her head and looked to her boss again.

“Elsa I’m sorry….”

“We’ll talk later,” she politely cut her off. “Oaken’s got that one. I’ll stay here, you ring on Snow’s register until we close.”

“She’s in the break room. I told her…” Maren tried again.

“Later. We’ll handle this first,” Elsa said definitively. Maren could only assume the tone was used because so many people were present. If it were after hours or if it were slower, Maren believed that Elsa would be showing much more concern. Hell, she _knew_ Elsa wanted to show more concern for Snow. This was her concealing not feeling. Maren gave a single nod before Elsa handed her a set of keys. “Second key from my left, put it in the key hole by the screen. Force sign off Snow from the register with my numbers. The code is 1817. I signed in on mine here, so you can use your numbers on six. Call the next customer over.”

Maren nodded. She turned around and tilted the register screen around. After following Elsa’s instructions she handed the keys back to her. “And Snow…?”

“We’ll check on her as soon as it slows. Or we close. Whichever comes first,” Elsa decided. She completed her current transaction and turned to Maren once more. Her look softened and, in that instant, Maren understood exactly what she was asking. Elsa was worried about Snow. She wanted to know if she was all right. And, if she could, Elsa would definitely leave the register to check on her. Maren nodded to her and then waved her hand to call the next customer over.

“I can take who’s next on six!”

\---

Maren couldn’t seem to get to the break room fast enough. Her feet pounded against the floor as they struggled to keep up with her body, as if leaning forward was somehow going to get her to Snow quicker.

The store was closing in less than five minutes; Elsa had just made the final announcement before silently letting Maren know she could shut her light after one more customer. Throughout the last hour, nearly every fifteen minutes Elsa stepped away from her register to announce when the store was closing. After each announcement when she would walk back to the register Maren stole a glance from her. When would it be ok to leave? When could she check on Snow? Every time she would look at Elsa pleadingly and every time the answer would be the same: a silent, disheartened no. Elsa may not have been able to say it out loud, but her eyes spoke for her. Her brows furrowed, her lips tugged downwards, and she offered a single shake of her head. Maren almost wondered if it was as bad as actually hearing the word ‘no.’

Who was she kidding? Of course it was better. It was Elsa’s way of showing she cared. She, too, was disappointed there wasn’t a chance to check on the teenager. The job had to come first. If it were anyone else running the front, they likely would not have been so caring or understanding. Maren didn’t even want to picture Radcliffe’s reaction had he been in Elsa’s position. The odds were that he wouldn’t have cared at all.

Hang in there Snow, I’m coming, Maren thought, please still be there….

Lifting her hands in front of her, one came into contact with the wooden door and the other on the knob. She pushed it open, causing it to fly out with enough force to slam against the wall behind it. The sound resulted in a squeak. Snow! Holding the door open, Maren peered around it. A few inches away from where the door had hit, there was Snow leaning up against the wall, still curled up. She seemed stiff, eyes widened likely from the shock that came from Maren’s sudden appearance. Maren exhaled with relief. Snow was still here!

Stepping away from the door, she let it close on its own. She approached the teenager cautiously, holding out a single hand as if to ask if it was ok to sit next to her. Snow gave a single nod before turning her head away. Maren leaned her back against the wall, sliding down slowly. She pulled her gloves off in the process and tossed them into the nearby garbage can. Once her rear came in contact with the tiled floor, Maren pulled her legs closer to her chest. She stretched an arm out to her coworker but didn’t make direct contact; much as she wanted to, she still knew she needed Snow’s permission before making any movements. She watched the teenager carefully, looking for any sign to back off or put her hand down or something.

Then, the next thing she knew, Snow leaned to the side and placed her head on Maren’s shoulder. Without thinking, Maren moved her arm so it was around Snow and caressing her shoulder.

“I’m here. I got you,” Maren promised softly.

She felt Snow nod her head against her only once. Maren sighed softly. She was going to be ok.

A few minutes passed before the door opened. “Is everything ok?”

Maren’s head perked up instantly. Ella poked her head inside before stepping into the break room and gently closing the door behind her. The strawberry blonde removed her gloves and sanitized her hands before sitting in front of Snow, but was sure to give her some space as well.

“What happened?”

Snow closed her eyes and shook her head.

“How is it out there?” Maren asked instead.

“Nani’s taking care of the last ones on self scan,” she answered. “Elsa took my till and went into the cash office with Oaken.”

So it was Oaken Maren saw earlier. She wondered what he was doing there today. What did he say to the customer before? Was he going to ask to talk to Maren and Snow now? She hoped it would be able to wait; if Snow didn’t want to say anything to Ella there was no way she was going to speak to Oaken either. But Maren decided not to mention anything. There was no need to rile up Snow any further. Instead she and Ella sat with her in silence, allowing time to slowly tick by.

At some point Nani entered the break room as well. She leaned against the table with her arms folded but made no comments other than wanting to know what the hell happened. She appeared ready to pry for more information, but one look from Maren confirmed that the woman needed to keep her mouth shut. Instead all Nani did was step to the side and make a phone call to her sister. Maren didn’t hear most of it, save for Nani mentioning not to need her. Something about a lot of work. Not that she would be wrong. Maren’s eyes almost completely remained on Snow. She seemed calmer for the time being. Maren was unsure if it was the amount of time that passed or knowing that people who cared about her now surrounded her. None of them left the break room nor did they hear any announcements asking for them to reappear at the front. Time once again became a lost concept.

Eventually Elsa found her way to the break room. She paused at the doorway, taking in the sight before her. Ella, whose hand had rested on Snow’s leg to show her comfort and camaraderie, reluctantly pulled away and backed away a bit. Damn six-foot rule. Maren knew that was the reason and she was sure she felt Elsa’s eyes on her as a result of that as well. Instead of moving, however, Maren’s grip on Snow tightened. She’d promise to strip and shower with a hose in front of her apartment if she had to, but she wasn’t going to leave Snow again. Not even for a few inches. Elsa must have realized that, as she made no comment. All she did was let out a soft sigh.

“I’m not going to ask if you’re ok. I know the answer to that. So I will ask this instead,” she spoke to Snow in a quiet voice, in a way that was almost barely audible. “How are you feeling? Tired? Hungry? Upset?”

Snow merely shook her head.

Elsa gave a single nod. “Ok. I understand. But you should probably eat something. Can we get you anything?”

Snow didn’t budge.

Elsa flattened her palms together. She lifted them so her fingertips seemed to brush just underneath her chin. She began pacing slowly back and forth, taking the most delicate steps as if she were balancing on a tightrope. Somehow it was almost a straight line she seemed to be moving back and forth on; Elsa’s eyes were pulled downward, focusing on keeping her steps exact. Was that supposed to help her think? Or was she literally walking on a fine line?

She repeated the motion for a minute or two before stopping. Removing her hands from one another, she reached one of them into her vest pocket. She unfolded a couple of bills, counting them out with her pointer. Elsa took a step closer to Ella before handing her the money. “Ella, here is ten dollars. You and Nani go buy Snow something to eat; leave it at her register for when she’s ready. Then work it out amongst yourselves tonight who organizes the throwbacks and who cleans the registers. Maren, check the coolers and see what needs to be removed. Then, if you could, do a walk around the store and find any damaged or misplaced items.”

A moment of silence followed.

Maren’s brows furrowed. How the hell could she be expected to just return to work right now? “I’d rather not.” Her voice was firm, almost an icy tone of her own. At the notice of Elsa raising an eyebrow, Maren continued. “Call this my break if you have to. But I told Snow I’m not leaving her. Not again. I had to walk away before. I’m not doing it again.”

She didn’t care if speaking to her boss in that way would get her in trouble. Maren understood why she had to walk away before. She knew there was no other choice then. But now? Now there was a choice. There were no customers in the store. There was no one except the five of them. There were three hours before the last ones were scheduled to leave; surely that was enough time to get the essentials done. What did it matter anyway? Snow’s feelings were more important than some bad TV dinners or open packs of soda that had to get tossed. And with the way Snow was leaning on Maren now? She was relying on her. She wanted her there. There was no way in hell Maren was going to push her off and walk away as if nothing happened.

Maren’s eyes remained firm while Nani and Ella looked to Elsa.

“Should we…?” Ella started to ask.

Elsa held up a finger and closed her eyes. She was thinking again. “We still have our jobs to do. Things need to get done before we close. So.” She pointed to Ella, and then Nani. “Ella, separate the damages from the rest of the throwbacks. Do a walk around the store and see if there’s anything that doesn’t belong. Pay no mind to anything that isn’t perishable or damaged. Just make sure to get the damages together and to the back before eleven. Nani, clean the registers and take care of the garbage cans underneath the registers. Once that’s done, help organize the throwbacks as much as you can. I’ll be out to help as soon as possible.”

She nodded for the two of them to leave. Nani walked out first, though there was more hesitation on Ella’s part. She held the door open, keeping her position and gazing at her coworkers in case they changed their minds. With no response from Elsa and Maren continuing to keep a hold on Snow, Ella simply gave a final nod before exiting. Once they were both gone, Elsa focused on the matter at hand. Maintaining her space from the two of them, Elsa sat on the floor. She kept her back straight and bent her knees towards one side. Maren had no idea how she did that, sit almost like royalty or something. Somehow it felt like a reminder of how much power Elsa had over all of them despite her hardly ever using it to her advantage.

Even now, Elsa didn’t seem to use her title to power play. Her eyes didn’t indicate anything stressful or angry. Behind those icy blue pools was pure concern. She wasn’t looking down at Snow; or Maren, for that matter. Her gaze remained level, as if despite their dynamics they were still on equal ground. When she opened her mouth to speak, Elsa’s voice remained the same. It was a bit more audible this time compared to the first; however the delicateness remained. She sounded as if her voice wasn’t coming out of a person but rather the air itself. And even as she spoke, she seemed to choose her words carefully.

“Could either of you tell me what happened? Please?”

Maren looked to Snow. The pale girl shook her head only once, seeming to bury her face into Maren’s shoulder deeper in the process. She then looked to her boss. “It’s not mine to tell.”

“That is fair,” Elsa acknowledged. “But Snow, I do have to ask you this…. Are you comfortable discussing any of this with Oaken tomorrow?”

Another shake of her head, this time accompanied with a squeak.

“And Maren?”

“My answer is the same.”

Elsa gave a nod. “All right. I do understand the both of you. That being said…Maren; I am obligated to ask you this as your supervisor. Could you please speak with Oaken tomorrow?”

Maren raised an eyebrow. “Why me?”

“Because of the customer you were helping. She didn’t overhear everything, but she did feel the need to comment to me. Oaken did speak to the customer in question himself. However, Oaken ultimately has the power to tell us, his employees, how to handle certain customers. That may include refusing them service,” Elsa explained. “I informed Oaken after closing what your customer disclosed to me. Oaken will likely want to confirm the accuracy of her statement with you. That’s not to say you have to divulge anything against Snow’s wishes. But the safety of you, all of you, is the most important factor. Whether it’s physical, emotional, or both. And if this particular customer is believed to put Snow, or any of you, at risk for this again, then we need to do our part to make sure it does not happen.”

“He’s not gonna make me reveal anything personal about Snow? She won’t get in trouble for this?” Maren asked hesitantly.

“You were right there. You were in direct contact with this customer. The only one who would know better about this than Snow is you. As much as we want to trust the customers’ words, that cannot always be true,” Elsa said. “As far as the latter goes, I doubt Snow will face any punishment simply for looking out for her own safety. But in any case, I will do my best to make sure that doesn’t happen. I cannot speak for Oaken, only for myself. But I trust the word of my coworkers far more than that of any random customers.”

It sounded fair. Thus far, Elsa gave Maren no reason not to believe her. Every instance Maren interacted with her, Elsa has shown to be a compassionate and levelheaded person. Not once has she spoken ill of anyone – save for Radcliffe, and understandably so. Maren couldn’t say she comprehended fully Elsa’s position, but she did have a better idea of why Elsa reacted the way she did in the first place. The pacing she did was indeed a fine line – because every day she was walking a fine line between being a boss and a friend. No, not a friend. Who in this dump were actually friends with their coworkers? A fine line between being a boss and a good person; that was likely a better-suited description. Not all those in power were good people. Elsa was simply trying to defy those odds.

Maren exhaled slowly. “Fine. But I’m not gonna give any specifics.”

There was a pause before Maren spoke again.

“What did she say…?”

Elsa sucked in her bottom lip. She steadily brought her eyes to the youngest. “If I share, are you comfortable confirming or denying in confidence? I won’t repeat anything.”

Snow didn’t speak. Whether it was hesitancy, discomfort, or unwillingness, Maren couldn’t say for sure. There had to have been a way to take some of the pressure off the poor girl somehow.

“What if…” Maren thought for a moment. “What if I wrote what he said? Would that be ok?”

No, no that probably wouldn’t be ok. Nothing about the situation was ok. The only saving grace was that Snow wouldn’t have to hear such awful comments out loud again. Not only did she not deserve it, but also that was far from accurate.

Yet somehow, be it by luck or by magic, Snow relented.

Using her free hand, Maren pulled her phone out from her jacket pocket. She opened up the Notes app and began typing with her thumb. Even giving Elsa the short version and paraphrasing, it still made Maren sick to repeat it in any capacity. But if it was anything like what Maren’s customer overheard, it would shed a light on Snow’s reaction and why Maren responded the way she did. Maren clenched her teeth with each word that she finished. Somehow, she managed to write out one sentence.

_Your mom doesn’t care if she’s sending you to this death trap._

Swallowing, she reluctantly handed her phone to Elsa. She couldn’t bear to bring her eyes down to Snow. Instead Maren focused only on Elsa. She watched as her eyes scanned the screen once, widen, and then move again. She seemed to be taking in every word, absorbing the statement in front of her slowly. Maren was unsure how many times Elsa must have read the sentence. Maren’s best estimate was at least three. The first time was based on her bulging eyes. Then Elsa’s body flinched; that had to have been a second read. Finally, an audible gasp escaped her lips. It wasn’t until that response that another high pitched sound came from Snow and, once again, the teen buried her face deep into Maren’s shoulder as if it were going to help her fade away from the world before her.

“I’m sorry…” the teen sniffed.

Maren and Elsa exchanged looks. Maren wasn’t sure if her own was more puzzled or shocked; she could only imagine hers was somewhat similar to Elsa’s. And the only way to describe that was, ‘what the hell??’

“What?!”

Their responses came at the same time, followed by one right after the other.

“What for?”

“You’ve nothing to be sorry for!”

Snow was trying to turn her body so she wasn’t facing either of them at all now. Her voice was cracking and was somehow higher than usual. “He was right…”

“Like hell he was! Snow, he was pissed over water. _Water!_ ” Maren argued. “That gave him no right to snap at you or make assumptions. Don’t think about what that guy said for a second, it’s not worth your time!”

“Why would you believe such a thing?” Elsa asked.

“Because it’s true…” she choked. She pushed herself away from Maren and forced herself up. Snow turned so she was facing the opposite wall, keeping her arms tight around herself.

“He said that out of anger, Snow! He was mad and frustrated because he couldn’t get his way. He’s mad that he can’t do anything and he took it out on you. It’s not an excuse to push you or your family down!” Maren insisted.

“But he was right…. He said it and…and I let it get to me and I shouldn’t have…” Snow tried.

“We all let things people say consume us, Snow,” Elsa promised as she rose to her feet. “That doesn’t mean we simply stand there and take it. You are allowed to let it out.”

Maren shook her head. “Yeah you don’t have to act like you’re so embarrassed. You’re a kid, we’ve all been there.” She paused to scoff. “I mean, I don’t think Elsa has. Probably not Nani, either. Have you seen the way that they…?”

The brunette would have continued had she not noticed Elsa glaring in her direction. Maren clicked her tongue.

“Got it. Not the right time at all.”

Elsa rubbed her forehead and let out the faintest groan before continuing. “What Maren is trying to say – I think – is that we were able to handle everything and you did what you had to for yourself. There will never be any shame in that.”

Maren folded her arms and rolled her eyes. “Ok yeah, if you wanna put it in a more professional, high and mighty sounding way,” she muttered.

“Maren I appreciate you trying to make light but as you said, this is not the time.”

“Hey I was just trying to make her feel better. And I’m sorry, but I think I was doing just fine sitting here with her…”

“It was not solving anything.”

“And standing here arguing is?”

“I also have my job to do.”

“I get that, and I did my job, but now my other job is helping Snow.”

“And mine is not?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“So what did you mean, then?”

“It’s my stepmother!”

Maren and Elsa froze. They brought their gaze to Snow, who had shifted so she was now shaking slightly in the corner. Somehow her voice had been enough to overpower both of theirs at once. And even though it was one sentence, it was just enough to cease the arguing. Maren’s eyes slowly relocated from the teen to her boss. Suddenly her eyes widened and she took a large step back. Elsa seemed to do the same, fiddling with her braid as Maren forced herself into a straight stance and slammed her arms against her sides. She didn’t realize how close she and Elsa had gotten in the heat of that moment. What would have happened if they kept…?

No. No. Maren’s mind was not going to go there! There was no need for it to. They were just…caught up in both trying to help Snow. It wasn’t like they were about to do anything else.

“I’m sorry…” Snow squeaked again, “I…I didn’t mean to…it’s just that…you were…”

“No, no. We…we understand,” Elsa held a hand up. “We shouldn’t have started like that. Especially not now.”

Maren’s lip tugged to the side. “Yeah…we were in the wrong there. Sorry, Snow.”

There was another pause before Elsa’s brows furrowed and she spoke again.

“Your stepmother…. But you live with your uncles…?”

Snow nodded once.

“What about your…” Maren stopped herself. “Your…birth mother…?” Was that even the right wording to use right now?

Snow shook her head.

“And your father…?” Elsa inquired cautiously.

Snow was visibly pulling on her sleeve now, her nails likely holding tight enough to dig through the fabric and seep into her own skin. Another shake of her head.

Elsa’s hand immediately went over her heart. Maren’s head sunk in the same second.

Snow didn’t have to explain anything. Even without knowing the whole story, it made enough sense. It brought Maren back to when she lost her parents. She remembered how difficult it was for the family to get back on their feet after losing her father. And then her mother was gone, too. Had it not been for Yelena, Maren had no idea what could have become of her and Ryder. Would they have gone into the system? Would they have gotten separated? Did Snow have any of those same fears? Did her uncles have to fight for her the way Yelena did for Maren and Ryder?

“Um…” Maren bit her lip, choosing her question carefully. “When…?”

This time, Snow’s usual high voice was so quiet it could have barely been above a whisper. “Last year….”

The pain grew. Maren was younger when she lost both of her parents, but when was anyone ever really ready to be on their own like that? It didn’t matter if anyone was five, ten, sixteen, or a full grown adult. It was never going to be easy to live through. There was only one thing she could think of to do now.

Maren stepped closer to Snow. She tapped her finger lightly on Snow’s shoulder, just enough to get the teen to turn to her. Then, removing her hand, Maren held her arm out. She let Snow decide what the next move should be. But there wasn’t even any time to take the girl’s appearance in before she jumped into Maren’s arms. Maren wrapped her arms around Snow in a tight embrace.

“Hey…” she whispered softly. “I was there, too. I get it. I got you.” She felt Snow’s head tilt slightly against her. So Maren clarified. “My aunt fought for me and my brother. It’s just us since we were kids. So I get it. It’s not just you. I’m here, too.” She felt Snow nod against her. And for a moment, they stood there as they were.

Until Elsa cleared her throat. Snow pulled away from Maren slightly and looked at the blonde. Maren kept her other arm on Snow’s shoulder closer to her. Don’t bring up the damn six-foot rule now, she thought.

Then Elsa took a step forward. Once again she seemed to be considering her words carefully. “May…may I tell you a secret?”

Maren looked back and forth between the two, taking in the scene before her. She had no idea what to expect, but it certainly wasn’t what was about to happen. After Snow nodded, Elsa carefully removed her gloves. She held out her now bare hand to Snow. The teen hesitated, staring at it. Maren didn’t blame her; she wouldn’t have been sure how to react either. It was the first time Maren had seen Elsa actually offer part of herself to someone. And, judging from Snow’s reaction, it was her first as well. That was likely why it took a minute before Snow carefully took her hand.

“You are doing so much better than I was,” Elsa commented.

To that, Snow tilted her head in confusion.

“I was in my first year of college when I lost my parents. I had to deal with the loss, protect and raise my sister, go to school, and handle my father’s company. It was a lot to ask of an eighteen-year-old,” Elsa explained.

Snow rubbed one of her eyes with her free hand. “I…I don’t understand. You…. You’re so strong. Here, you….”

“Handle everything like a badass?” Maren finished.

Elsa offered the faintest of smiles. “Thank you. But it took so much for me to get to this point. I was a few years older than you and had a lot more on my plate. It was, without a doubt, the most difficult thing I have ever experienced. But look, I’m here right now. And what you’re doing now? That’s no easy feat either. Juggling school and a job is already enough. But now you are not only doing those, you are doing those during a national crisis. And you do it with the brightest smile and sunniest attitude. You do that, Snow. No one else. Do you have any idea what that makes you?”

Snow shook her head.

Her smile growing ever so slightly, Elsa’s grasp on Snow’s hand tightened. “An absolute angel. That is what you are, Snow. And if your stepmother cannot see that then she is the one missing out. And she has no idea what an incredible woman you are going to grow into.”

“Damn straight,” Maren added, “and a lot of customers aren’t gonna be able to see that either. They don’t know how good they have it when they go to you.”

“ _We_ didn’t know how good we had it when we got you,” Elsa corrected.

Snow’s eyes began to water again. Her head jerked back and forth between the two women, curls beginning to loosen from her headband and slap her across the face. How accurately it was depicting the scene before her; Maren would need to be slapped across the face, too, to believe this was happening.

“I…I…” Snow stammered.

“Hey,” Maren offered with an encouraging grin, “if both me and Elsa can get outta those dark times then you can, too. It means you’re gonna turn out to be pretty badass, too.”

Snow removed her hand and pulled her headband out. She gave it a squeeze and shook her head. “You both had siblings, though….”

She was right. Despite the facts that the timing and situations of Maren and Elsa’s losses were different, they were also similar. They were the older siblings who had to look out for and protect their younger ones. They went through dark and confusing times losing their parents. And they didn’t go through it alone; Maren had Ryder just like Elsa had her sister. It sounded like the only family Snow had was her uncles. They were still family and would help her, yes; but there was nothing quite like the love and support of a sibling.

Maren shrugged her shoulders and gave a hopeful smile. “Well then…. It looks like you’ve got two sisters now.”

Snow stared at Maren like she was a deer in headlights. Or…a deer covered in snow, thanks to her skin tone. Her eyes bulged and her lip quivered, completely taken aback by how obvious Maren’s statement sounded. Actually, if Maren was being honest it kind of shocked her as well. Up until as recent as five minutes ago Maren was insistent that she wasn’t going to become friends with any of her coworkers. She wouldn’t interact with any of them outside of work. That she’d only be stuck with them until she was done with college, or at least with the pandemic. And yet here she was, offering to be Snow’s adoptive sister without so much as a second thought. She did have to admit though, the way Snow’s face lit up made it all worth it.

“R…really?” Snow gasped. After a nod from Maren, Snow looked to Elsa with the same inquiry. “Really?”

Shit. Maren shouldn’t have spoken for Elsa, should she? She just assumed…. But Maren couldn’t let up now. She kept her same smile, hoping that somehow Elsa would mirror it. She couldn’t say no now anyway…could she?

Likewise, Elsa also needed a moment to process. What were the odds she had a similar idea as Maren? That she wouldn’t become friends with the people she worked with? Surely though, that idea had to have been thrown out the window with the way she treated everyone. Elsa had to have so many more layers to her, but the most obvious one was her compassion. Even if she didn’t say out loud that she cared, she always seemed to find a way to show it. There was almost this delicate balance about her in which she would refuse to open up on her own but anyone who wanted to could say anything to her. Or was Maren the only one to remotely notice that? Was she also the only one to remotely notice it looked like Elsa had stopped breathing? Breathe, move, say something, stop being an ice statue, dammit, Maren screamed mentally.

“I…. Suppose I will have to break the news to Anna then,” the blonde finally spoke.

With that, Snow could no longer contain her excitement. She let out an excited squeal before throwing her arms around Elsa in a tight hug. However, in that same second, a yelp escaped Elsa and she immediately nudged Snow off of her. The teen pulled her arms into her chest and stared at Elsa wide eyed. Maren took a step forward. Her jaw dropped, wondering how the hell Elsa could react that way after what she just shared. After what Snow just shared.

“I’m sorry!”

“I’m sorry!”

The two apologies came simultaneously, eerily in the same pitch as well.

“N…no, please. Let…let me go first….” Elsa shook. She took a moment, closing her eyes. She moved her hands up, and then brought them down as she exhaled. As her eyes began to flutter open again, she cupped her hands in front of her and looked at her newfound sister regrettably. “I’m so sorry, Snow. That was a horrible reaction of me. I promise, it has nothing to do with you. Or the virus. I…I’m not used to anyone besides Anna touching me. Or…or even being close to me. It…it’s not…. I’m not….” She shook her head. “But that doesn’t make it right. You just opened yourself to me and I shut you out.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize…. I shouldn’t have….” Snow tried.

“I know. I shouldn’t have, either,” Elsa acknowledged. “Are...? Would…? That is…” She shook her head. “Could you give me some time? Please?”

“Yes. Yes of course,” Snow nodded instantly. “I’ll make sure to ask next time, I promise. I’m just not used to…. This. Can we still be…?”

Elsa gave a nod. “Then as your sister, may I give you some advice?” She offered her hand to Snow once more, which the teen took. “Please give yourself some time as well, Snow. Whatever it is you want or need to do. Your homework. Your hobbies. Grieving. I put off my own grieving and desires for far too long. It’s a challenge to think of yourself when you have so many other things happening. Just give yourself a chance, please.”

“I’ll try,” Snow agreed. “But um…. What about my hours for tonight…? I know…”

“I will discuss it with Oaken and let you know during your next shift,” Elsa answered. “In the meantime, you are supposed to clock out soon anyway. I think it’s best if you head home now.”

“I can give you a ride if you need,” Maren offered. “I know I’m not supposed to clock out yet but….”

“You can make up the time tomorrow,” Elsa told her. “Either come in early or stay late. But you will still have to speak with Oaken before you clock in.”

Maren groaned. “Guess I can’t get outta that one, huh? Fine. Snow, get your dinner and stuff. I’ll meet you out front.”

Snow gave a smile and a nod. Clutching her headband close to her chest, she exited the break room with a spring in her step. It appeared the chipper girl was making her return; it brought a smile to Maren’s face.

Except it didn’t ease the tension between her and Elsa. With the two women left in the room, Maren rubbed the back of her head. She bit her tongue and looked to Elsa from the corner of her eye. The blonde sat in one of the empty chairs, undoing her braid and changing it into a simple ponytail. Should Maren say something? She should, shouldn’t she?

“Hey…um….” Great start. “Sorry I kinda volunteered us to be Snow’s work sisters or whatever now.”

She hoped it came across as much more casual than awkward.

“Maybe that’s exactly what she needed,” Elsa thought aloud. She tightened her ponytail before looking up to Maren. Ironic since it was usually the other way around. “It doesn’t sound as though Snow has a lot of positive women in her life. Though I can’t say I’m certain I qualify.”

“Are you kidding?” Maren scoffed. “Did you see the way she lit up when you said yes? No one jumps to cloud nine like that without a pretty damn good reason.”

Elsa pursed her lips. “And what about you? Snow immediately relaxed around you. It was just like when you helped her the first time. You give her strength, Maren. Heaven knows we could all use some of that.”

There she went again building Maren up. How the hell did that woman do it? She thought so highly of the people around her yet she couldn’t seem to take a compliment for anything.

Then Maren’s face fell. Elsa couldn’t take a compliment for anything. And what did Maren do before? Practically shut her down in front of Snow with that stupid argument. The brunette sighed.

“It wasn’t very strong of me to fight you like that before. I shouldn’t’ve made the comments the way I did.”

Elsa stood, clasping her hands in front of her once again. “I can’t say I approve of your methods, but you were trying to do your part to help Snow. That, I can respect. I should not have fought you either, particularly in front of Snow. That was not what she needed tonight.”

“But she did need to hear what you said to her. About your parents,” Maren pointed out. She gave Elsa a comforting look. Not that Elsa had divulged too much to Maren either, but the brunette was sure that no one else in the store knew anything about Elsa. Everyone else likely knew the bare minimum, but certainly not even the tidbits Elsa shared with her and Snow. Even if it wasn’t much, it was still confidential information. Maren had no intention of sharing it with anyone else. “That was pretty big of you. And I know it wasn’t easy to do.”

“Nor was it easy for you, either,” Elsa replied. “You looked like you were going to break when Snow told us about her parents. Like you were reliving the past all over again.”

Maren waved her hand. “I’ll be ok. And I’ll… _we’ll_ make sure Snow’ll be ok, too. So.” She held out her hand. “Co-sisters?” No that sounded dumb. “Work sisters?” No, that sounded worse! “Snow sisters?” Ugh why did nothing sound right!

The faintest ‘heh’ seemed to escape Elsa’s lips. Of course she enjoyed watching Maren torture herself like that. But, placing a hand to her mouth, she cleared her throat as if to cover it somehow. She then started to hold out her hand. Was she going to take or even shake Maren’s? No, because then instead she cupped it into a fist. A fist bump? No, she changed it again. Elsa was really bad with physical contact after all! Maren tried not to react, not even in making a face at watching her struggle. Nor did she try to think it was cute in any way. Because it wasn’t! Not that way. At all. Finally though, Elsa seemed to settle with merely sticking her pointer finger out and tapping Maren’s hand every so briefly with what couldn’t have been described as more than a ‘boop’ before pulling her hand back to her front.

“Snow’s sisters.”

The title Snow Queen seemed to echo in Maren’s mind once again. That’s what some of the others referred to Elsa as, right? Because of her seemingly icy disposition? Her conceal don’t feel attitude to survive the retail world? But there was something so ironic about it. Even though she could hear her coworkers calling Elsa the Snow Queen or Ice Princess or whatever they did, Maren couldn’t imagine it. She couldn’t see Elsa that way. Somehow the name didn’t fit that woman at all.

Because even in that briefest second where Elsa booped her finger, Maren felt no ice at all. Awkward, perhaps. But as to anything remotely cold? Not even close.

In fact, she was nothing but absolute warmth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told you it was a lot! There was never a question in my mind if these would be two separate chapters, it was always a question of how it would play out. The beginning was easy, it was after the break where it became trickier. Every time i daydreamed the scene in my head it always came out differently. And naturally, no recollection of how it started in the first place. So i just started writing it. Before i get to that part though, i'll touch on the story with the customer. I know the scenario depicted in this chapter seems to extreme and unbelievable, and to an extent it is. But a lot of times that's exactly how retail stories go. They're just too insane to possibly be true - but they are. What makes this one so over the top is, it's a combination of multiple horror retail stories at once. The impatient or entitled customer. The customer who argues and refuses to listen. The customer who goes so far as to criticize the employee. I as well as a few of my coworkers have been on the other end of a customer saying something that was enough to make us break. And although a customer acting entitled and also fighting the item limit (i lost count of how many of those i've had alone) is unfortunately very much in the norm, i do want people to realize that words hurt. It doesn't matter how light or how over the top they are. On the other end of that register, whatever age they are, is a real person. And we deal with so much at work on its own. Retail is an abusive field even though there's absolutely no reason for it to be. So the point is to think about what you say and, if you're frustrated, how warranted to this one person that anger really is. Because the truth is, it's not worth it. And if you're a cashier on the other end of horrible comments like that, you're absolutely within your right to walk away.
> 
> Maren and Elsa obviously have different ways of showing their support. I felt that Maren would definitely be more physical compared to Elsa. At the same time it was tricky with Elsa because she really does walk a fine line. She wants to be able to help and support her coworkers but she's also in a position of authority over them and has more responsibilities, and unfortunately the job has to take precedence. So that was a bit of a trick, trying to work out that balance and make it seem believable. It was also tricky to write the end of her interaction with Snow since Elsa is someone who keeps so to herself. She has to be the one to initiate the contact because she has to be comfortable enough to. So i wanted to write that particular part to stay true to her character while not trying to demean her in any way. And Snow White, being someone with this cheerful disposition and wanting to make everyone happy, she was reacting as Snow White would but also by showing understanding and acceptance. (Side note with Snow White, i know her official age is 14 but for obvious reasons her age has been upped to 16.) Her uncles also are in reference to the seven dwarves which, not sure how much we'll get into that later, but yes the Disney references continue.
> 
> As for the conversation between Elsa and Maren at the end. Like i said, this whole mess of a chapter allowed for the two of them to get a little bit closer and have a better understanding of each other. Overall the two of them are very different, hence why they bumped heads at one point while trying to comfort Snow. But they're able to see where the other is coming from and bond over that shared experience of losing their family. We're experiencing this through Maren's eyes right now and have ideas what she's thinking but soon we will kind of see Elsa's reaction to everything and maybe get a better idea of what's going on in her head. Finally, the 'boop' was another Frozen reference, as was Elsa's use of the code 1817, Elsa's supposed birth year. And aside from the reference i couldn't resist throwing that in for pure awkwardness and the hilarity that will surely follow.
> 
> If you read this whole end note, thank you so much for choosing to sit through all that. And if it was only to continue to distract you for a few extra minutes or because you had nothing better to do, i'm totally ok with that lol. I hope you also found some entertainment in this roller coaster of a chapter. The next update will come on my day off when i will hopefully have my sh-t (that's right, i don't curse out of character) together and be able to write something else. Until then, hang in there everyone. Also i highly recommend Olaf's new song if you haven't watched or heard it yet. It's adorable. Good night everyone!


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off i wanna thank everyone for the nice words you left me in your comments. This weekend had been one bad shift after one bad shift, although my shift on Saturday was arguably the worst. I won't go into details about it but i'm heavily debating about having a chapter down the line inspired by it. And not just cause i had a dream that started out that way and then it led to this whole crazy, detailed, potentially emotional scene that i will now constantly be struggling to remember. I'm doing better now than i was over the weekend but this will probably be the only update this week. There were a LOT of comments left so i'm gonna jump into those before the chapter starts.  
> @coldname - Thank you for the encouragement and understanding. Fortunately no bad flashbacks on my end as much as it was mixed emotions. It's not gonna stop me from writing this fic, that much is true! i also appreciate the offer, although i go on twitter randomly. I go back and forth between using it a lot and not using it at all. I am glad though you liked how Maren and Elsa handled the situation and also happy you caught onto Elsa definitely getting closer to her. As far as adding more Disney characters, as of now aside from the ones already mentioned there's no immediate plans to add more (excluding Oaken and maybe someone from Maren's past). So if any more to happen in, i'll keep that in mind to leave them as references or one off's. Thank you for the input!  
> @fanficfruitts - i'm glad you're enjoying the story that much and think so highly of it. Don't worry, your heart gets a break this time and you can laugh at Elsa driving herself crazy instead. Yay...? lol  
> @EndlessD - Thank you. It's safe to assume Oaken would ban the guy. For me working in retail, with standalone incidents like that, i never know what happens to the customer after they've been a problem to a coworker. I personally hope they don't come back after that, so i leave the outcome of the customer last chapter to your imagination. As far as the way i'm writing Elsa, i don't have enough knowledge to knowingly write her as being on the autism spectrum. That being said, and i'm not sure if this is the right way at all to word this (if it's not than a friendly, "hey just so you know for future reference maybe say it this way next time...") but i know we all have our personal ways of relating to characters. And if she does come across as being believably one way and that's something anyone can relate to then it's not my place to deny anyone that. Certain aspects about her, such as her sexuality and label, will be clarified eventually (as far as this AU goes, because i know a lot of us read Elsa differently in that regard as well) but her being autistic will not be one of them. Again, if she comes across as believable and relatable in that regard, it's not my place or desire to take that away. So in the way in cannon her sexuality is somewhat open to interpretation (lesbian, ace, aro, to name only a few), i leave some open interpretation here as well.  
> @Ravrav - Hey guess what there's more cat Bruni this chapter for you then! lol. I'm happy but also sad that you know all too well about the kind of customers we get. I'm happy because even when i think something sounds too crazy, you reminding me you've been there and seen stuff, too, tells me it's not an exaggeration. But it's also sad because by all accounts no one should ever have to deal with people like that but you have, i do, and a lot of people continue to. As far as the rest of your comment goes, i love reading your excitement about everything. Not just confirming the way i'm writing anyone, but in general. (Not that there's any pressure at all now to write Snow's reaction about finding out Elsa and Maren like each other and want them together lol.) On me not cursing, it's almost funny because when i type Maren or even Nani with the curses i leave a space or use a - and go back to fill it in later. That's how weird it is for me to use curse words at all despite my age. It's just not me to use those about anything and especially not at anyone. Needless to say Elsa just might drop a curse at some point.... 0=) As usual, thanks so much for your comments and your nice words!  
> @Matha10 - I'm so glad you think this is well-built because i'm literally just writing as i go wth very little plan except keeping track of which days it is in the story lol. I almost never write with a direct plan and especially with my job, everything just blurs together so there's very little structure or timeline or anything. So thank you for that, cause i guess i'm doing a good job of bs-ing otherwise lol. Thank you so much for your words. It feels so weird being thanked because i'm just doing my job and i'm fortunate to still be working, but the kind words don't go unnoticed or appreciated.
> 
> Now it's time for me to shut the hell up and let you guys get to some reading. Enjoy! :)

“And then the next thing I knew she just…threw herself at me.”

“No, not like that. I promise it doesn’t sound that bad. She hugged me.”

“Yes I know that’s odd for me. Oh but then I had to be a dick and shove Snow off.”

“And then she apologized.”

“She was fine, though…. She seemed fine. I’m pretty sure. But she shouldn’t have had to.”

“You know what? Maren should have been the one to apologize.”

“I mean she did. But not about that. She apologized for arguing with me.”

“I suppose that was a good thing. I mean, of course it was a good thing. It meant…”

“Ok fine I have no idea what it meant.”

“But still, she shouldn’t have offered.”

“Not that I have an issue being a surrogate sister to Snow. Snow is an absolute sweetheart. I mean, there should be nothing wrong with that, right?”

“Unless Anna’s going to be pissed.”

“Oh my god, do you think Anna’s going to be pissed?”

“Ugh why the hell did I have to say yes to Maren?”

Elsa leaned forward onto the counter. She hit her head against the surface slightly before reluctantly lifting it to view her captive audience.

Or rather, a dog and a cat. The latter of which found a way to lick his eye with his tongue.

Seriously, how the hell did Bruni do that? By all means that should be physically impossible.

The blonde narrowed her gaze. “You are _not_ mocking me right now.”

While the cat stared at her blankly, Sven merely tilted his head.

“Ugh! Not you, too, Sven!” Elsa groaned. “I know why I said yes! It was the right thing to do, ok?”

While the puppy had no further response right away, Bruni took the opportunity to take a few steps forward. At first glance he seemed to be moving toward where his food bowl would normally be sitting, just to the side of the counter. Elsa raised an eyebrow when she didn’t see her companion right away. Shifting her body so she leaned to her left, she was able to see the cat now walking into the corner of the counter. The poor creature seemed to not even realize the marble surface was blocking his path in the first place.

“I am not hitting my head against the wall over this,” Elsa argued. “Do you really think I’m overreacting?”

Another bump to Bruni’s head against the counter. The cat was otherwise unaffected.

Once again Elsa’s forehead came in contact with the countertop. “Oh my god I am overreacting.”

No matter what she did, Elsa couldn’t seem to stop thinking about the night before. She played it over and over again in her head. The way Maren interacted with Snow. The way she seemed to protect her. The way Snow reacted to the two of them bickering. The way Snow’s face lit up when Elsa shared a specific intimate detail about her life. The way Maren so willingly put herself out there for Snow’s sake, whether it was to go to her defense, offer her support, or ask if she wanted a ride home. The way Elsa had no fricking clue how to respond to Maren’s hand except by booping her finger.

And, because that sounded so ridiculous in her head, Elsa somehow found a way to repeat it.

She booped Maren’s finger.

Who did that?!

How stupid was that?

What the hell was she thinking?

What was wrong with Elsa?

No. No. That was wrong. Nothing was wrong with her.

Sure she was a bit awkward around people, extremely introverted, put more effort into work than herself, actually went so far as to bury herself in her work, almost never once thought about herself, was somehow so concerned with the way others saw her despite her being so people-averse, dealt with anxiety, felt the constant need to hide who she was on any possible level, was doing absolutely nothing with her college degree, was obviously not completely ok with herself, and only sought comfort in her cat and sister but that didn’t necessarily mean anything was wrong with her.

“There is something so wrong with me.”

She jolted back up straight when she felt something nudge against her. A high-pitched squeal escaped her, causing Elsa’s arms to retreat into her chest. Her eyes widened but, as soon as they were lowered, quickly relaxed. It was just Sven. Elsa exhaled; he was just making sure she was ok.

Or asking for his early dinner.

Rubbing her forehead, Elsa let out another frustrated groan. “I don’t know, Sven. What the hell am I doing? Getting worked up over my coworkers? That’s…that’s not normal. That’s not me.” Her eyes met his pouting hazel ones. “Ok, fine. I suppose it is me a little. I just….” She paused to let out a sigh. “I don’t know.”

Shaking her head, she turned around to the cabinet and took out one of the packs of wet dog food Anna picked up for her. She poured a couple of spoonfuls into Sven’s bowl, accompanied with a little bit of dry dog food, and then placed it on the floor. The afternoon dinner was something Sven surely had to enjoy, but it was only going to last for the week. Unlike Bruni, who could feed himself whenever he pleased, Sven relied on a more specific schedule.

Kneeling down, she picked up the cat, which prevented him from hitting his head any further. While Sven happily munched on his early dinner, Bruni tilted his head back and forth in multiple directions as Elsa prepared his food. She placed some dry cat food in a Ziplock bag before crushing it with a rolling pin. After opening the bag, she reached her hand in and took out a few crumbs. Grasping them in her fingertips, she then hovered her hand over Bruni’s head. The crumbs began to sprinkle on top of him; while some fell by the wayside, a few others managed to land on his tongue that he had been sticking in and out over the past minute. His head tilted to look at the crumbs at his feet as Elsa poured the remaining food into his bowl. It was a bit of a process to feed the creature, Elsa would confess. But it was worth it. He was worth it.

Huh.

He was worth it.

Were her coworkers not worth it as well?

Her brows furrowed. “Do…. Do you think there’s more I can do for them?”

Bruni’s head shot up, staring at her blankly. He held her gaze for about a minute, refusing to blink until Elsa responded again.

“Maybe I am not doing enough for them after all.”

She lifted Bruni to gently place him on the ground, and then set his bowl down as well. While Bruni sat and Sven finished his meal, Elsa slid down with her back against the counter. Ahead of her and a bit to her right she could see a partial view of the outdoors.

Her apartment was located on the first floor, so she wouldn’t say she had a balcony or a porch per se. She liked to think of it as a patio; growing up, her bedroom had its own balcony and the house had a huge patio overlooking the vast grasslands of the backyard, which she and Anna pretended was an Enchanted Forest so many times. While her apartment now could only be a small fraction of the piece of land Elsa grew up with, she didn’t need much. She just needed a space to call her own. That patio was it – late at night when she couldn’t sleep she’d find herself wandering out onto it and sketching. While her drawings didn’t always turn into ideas or outlines for sculptures, it was nice to just get something out there. To have something for her mind to focus on and tire it out somehow. Elsa always gravitated towards using geometric shapes; and while those weren’t always a guarantee to use in her 3D models, they always seemed to find a way onto her canvases. It was almost funny, in a way. Elsa had this habit of looking at the little things; the small details in between. She rarely ever stopped to look at the big picture.

That’s how she found herself comparing that patio to work. Each coworker was a page in her sketchbook while the entire area surrounding her was everything else. Not just the store itself. Everything that took place in the store. Everything her coworkers brought with them to work. Their lives outside of work. Their families. The way their lives intertwined. The things that made them who they were. There she was, so focused on the one page from the night before that she didn’t stop to think about the whole thing.

The topic of Snow’s family didn’t last long; she obviously didn’t want to talk about it much. But speaking of her stepmother certainly hit a sore spot for her. She lost her birth mother who knows how long ago, and her father as recent as the year before. Now she was living with her seven uncles. What kind of situation was she in? How much did they have to fight to keep her? How was Snow juggling all that with school and a job? In the middle of a pandemic? Surely she had no time to remotely grieve the loss of her father. Yet the girl was taking on countless adult responsibilities when she had only just turned sixteen. And there she was at Oaken’s every shift with a sweet smile on her face, looking for the best in everyone. Snow was innocent and pure but still with so much growing up to do. If anyone needed strong role models in her life, especially strong women, it was definitely Snow. Who was Elsa to turn her away? Because she was afraid of getting close to people? Because she didn’t want Anna to think she was being replaced? Because she spent so much time building this fortress around her?

Then there was Maren. The woman had only been with them for a couple of weeks yet somehow already proved herself to be indispensable. She worked hard. She took direction. She offered help and support. She was a tease. She was open. Somehow she learned more about Maren in two weeks than she did her other coworkers in the same time. How long had it taken her in comparison to find out that Ella had mice? Or that Nani liked to surf in the summer? Or that, despite Cogsworth’s British accent, he actually originally hailed from France? With Maren, Elsa already knew a number of things. Maren had a brother. She lost her parents as a child and was raised by her aunt. She traveled. She was going to college. She liked chocolate. She wasn’t allergic to nuts. Or, at least peanuts. She was stubborn and unafraid to speak her mind. She was strong.

Oh, obviously on the inside she was strong if she could handle some of these customers already.

But Elsa was referring to physically strong. She saw the girl lift a 35-pack of water. That was no easy feat!

Ok, fine, it was no easy feat for Elsa.

Also, Maren openly admitted to being strong. And implying she had muscles under her shirts.

Not that Elsa would mind seeing the proof.

Wait, what?

Her head fell back, hitting the side of the counter. Where the hell was she even going with that? She knew her mind was going through some sort of process and reaching a conclusion before Maren flooded it. Again, what was wrong with Elsa?

A faint whine caused her to turn to her side. Sven sat next to her, panting in her face. Immediately she could see why Anna fell for his puppy dog eyes and gave him extra food every time. Elsa jerked her head away, making sure she eyed the wall instead of the pet. Maybe he was begging Elsa for seconds or to not go to work and leave him all alone – even though the latter was a lie, he had Bruni this time – but Elsa imagined him saying something very different to her.

“Shut up Sven.”

\---

“Hoo-hoo!”

“May I come in?”

Elsa stepped into the office, a small room hidden within the depths of Receiving. Most times it was empty, if only because Oaken was typically gone by the evening shift. Before the pandemic hit Elsa would sometimes see his partner come in for an overnight shift; a night owl that man has always been, working on the books and numbers until roughly six in the morning. Oaken was now limiting his time coming in for obvious reasons, as he and his partner had children in their home and didn’t want to risk exposing them.

The first time Elsa met Oaken was during her interview. The entire process he sat at his desk in front of her, occasionally tapping his fingers. He spoke with a thick Scandinavian accent but with a gentle tone. It wasn’t until he rose from his seat at the end that Elsa saw what a burly and intimidating man Oaken could be. However she never once saw him use it to his advantage in anger. It was only ever if someone deserved it, such as the time when he caught an employee stealing or if he felt a customer was treating someone unfairly. Retail was a horrible field, but that didn’t mean the people all had to be.

“Early as usual, ja?”

“I was hoping to have a few moments of your time.”

“Of course.” He straightened his papers before moving them to the side and bringing his gaze to Elsa. “What can I do for you?”

The way Oaken typically spoke, his w’s came out sounding more like v’s while sometimes a single o would be dragged into an oo sound. Elsa was used to it now, having been at his store for a few years, but in the beginning it took some time to adjust. She had no idea what to expect when she was interviewing to work in retail but it was certainly not for the owner to be an immigrant. That wasn’t to say anything negative at all. She merely wondered why someone would come to America and choose to run a grocery store. Why go into a field where so many people were treated as less than? Especially when immigrants all too often experienced the same treatment? Elsa never outright received an answer from Oaken, but she has since come to accept it. After all, he was a kind and understanding man who actually seemed to value his workers. He did his best with what he was given and, because of him Elsa had the privilege of working with some amazing women.

“First of all I wanted to apologize again for dragging you into that mess last night. I wish I could say I would have been able to handle it on my own, but considering the circumstances…” Elsa began.

He held up a hand. “No, no. You did the right thing. A good worker always knows when to ask for help. The only stupid actions are the ones not taken.”

Ever the professional, Elsa felt the need to hold her ground. She didn’t want Oaken suddenly thinking she was somehow incapable of running the store at night or of assisting her coworkers. “I can assure you, that is not a normal occurrence here.”

“You are being too hard on yourself, young lady. I wouldn’t have promoted you when I did if I thought you couldn’t handle it,” he commented.

“May I ask if you’ve spoken to Snow?” Elsa wondered.

“I told her when she came in if she wishes to talk, my door is open. If she doesn’t want to talk that is up to her. But I will still be talking to Maren, ja?”

“I will send her your way before she clocks in. However she was quite adamant in keeping her answers simple. She doesn’t want to go against Snow in some way. There has certainly been a loyalty developed there.”

“That is all I can ask of anyone. When we are here, we are a team. We are a family. We must be loyal to the customers, ja, but not at the cost of each other. Especially now in these trying times. We are all stuck here together. If we can’t rely on each other then what are we supposed to do.”

That was exactly how Elsa saw it. She wouldn’t go so far as to use the term family, but there were moments where it felt like a pretty close substitute. Especially after the store closed and it was the small group of her, Nani, Ella, and now Maren. On top of that with Elsa and Maren basically adopting Snow as their sister…that certainly did seem like some kind of family, didn’t it?

It made Elsa think of her own family. Really, that only consisted of Anna. She had Bruni now, thanks to Kristoff, and with him being Anna’s boyfriend, Kristoff and Sven basically became part of Elsa’s family. She thought of the lengths that she would go to for them. Of course she’d do anything for her sister. The funny thing with Bruni, though, was that on the surface he seemed like an animal with special needs. He didn’t act or eat like normal cats. By all accounts there was nothing wrong with him. Sure, he only seemed to eat crumbs of cat food and that was a longer process compared to simply pouring some food in his bowl. It was a few extra steps to Elsa’s day, but it was worth it. It was worth it to see Bruni’s eyes sparkle with delight when she sprinkled some of the crumbs over him. It was worth it to see him jump in delight when he realized food was being placed in front of him and he could actually eat it. He was absolutely worth it.

If she could take those extra steps for the benefit of Bruni, then by all accounts nothing should be stopping her from taking a few extra steps in support of her coworkers as well. She had to do something.

“I do have one more question. If I may.”

“Ja?”

“Would it be possible at all to keep Maren on the evening shifts? Permanently?”

Oaken tilted his head. However he said nothing right away, allowing Elsa to plead her case.

“I know her availability is open on the weekends and she’s likely needed more during the day then. But that doesn’t mean we don’t need her at night. I can’t speak for how she is during a morning shift, but I can absolutely speak for how I’ve seen her under my watch. The way she was with Snow yesterday is only one example. You just said yourself how important it is that we are all loyal to each other. Maren was a shining example of that yesterday. She not only rushed to Snow’s defense; she moved her to a safe place, went to her as soon as she could, and showed her support and strength for as long as she was able to afterward. Snow not only responded to all of Maren’s actions, but went home in a better mood because of her. I may not have worked here long enough to see everything, but I can assure you I have seen my share of horror stories. With customers and coworkers. I realize it’s still a probationary period for Maren, but not once during this time have I seen her act negatively towards any of her coworkers.”

“I do realize that, on most normal occasions, we have a bit of a skeleton crew at night. There have never been many of us to begin with, and even less now due to the limited hours. However that does not mean there is no work to be done. Some nights less so than others, that much is true. But it also does not negate the fact that we could always use more help, nor that there will ever be anything wrong with having people who know the steps at night involving closing the store. I believe it is also helping Maren catch onto everything. Because she has Ella showing her her process of organizing throwbacks and having Maren put things back, Maren is learning where everything goes and how to find items. She is getting a better layout of the store and that will always come in handy. Our store may not be much compared to Target or Stop and Shop, but we still have people asking where items are every day. The sooner an employee can catch onto that, the better for everyone.”

Oaken tapped his fingers together slowly. He nodded at Elsa’s explanation, absorbing everything she was saying. Once in a while his eyes moved to a side or above, as if he were picturing the scene Elsa set for him.

“So you are asking that, when I make the schedules, to place Maren under you?”

Well when he said it like that, it sounded….

Wrong, somehow.

Elsa couldn’t quite place her finger on the reasoning. Nevertheless it still brought a blush to her face and she quickly shook her head in response. “Not…exactly. I…I was thinking…. The thing is….”

Oaken raised an eyebrow. How embarrassing was that for her boss to see her flustered!

Elsa shook her head. She raised her hands up in front of her before slowly lowering them. She exhaled. “What…what I’m asking…. I believe that both Maren and the others are flourishing when they’re all together. Is there any way for that to possibly continue?”

Oaken ran his fingers through his beard as he pondered. “Well…I must say, when it comes to having good workers, there is no wrong time for them to be here. These are very different times right now and we do need more help during the day than at night. And if Maren is doing as well as you say I’d hate to see her miss out on any valuable learning experiences. Or for the day shift to suffer in her absence.”

Oaken did have a point. What gave Elsa the right to ask such a thing of her boss, anyway? Just because of Maren? It would only be a shame to miss out on more time with her.

More time seeing her with everyone, Elsa meant!

Not missing out on time with her specifically.

Missing out on time watching the relationships between Maren, Ella, Nani, and even Snow continue to grow.

Nothing to do with Elsa at all!

“I understand, sir.”

He held up a finger. “However, that being said, there is one thing that comes to mind.”

Elsa blinked. “Oh…?”

Oaken flipped through a couple of pages. He did so until he pulled out one page. Specifically, one containing Elsa’s hours. “I noticed that recently you had to work a double in both Radcliffe’s and Cogsworth’s absences?”

Elsa remembered that day. To say it was insane was an understatement. Honestly though, she could barely remember what happened anymore. The only things that stuck out in her mind from that hell of a shift were her apologies to her coworkers and her conversation with Maren. Elsa recalled feeling guilty about the way she treated them that day; that she could have done better; that her exhaustion was no excuse for how she spoke or acted. She also remembered Maren bringing her a salad, telling her she had to eat some sort of dinner. After that it became fuzzy, save for some playful banter and talk of cereal.

Elsa felt the need to remind herself it had nothing to do with how Maren’s eyes sparkled like honey under the light.

“That is correct, yes.”

“How did that go?”

Elsa sighed. Part of her wanted to lie and say it went great. And it wasn’t that it didn’t…the store was still standing at the end of the night and, for the most part, there were no casualties. Elsa wanted Oaken to know beyond a shadow of a doubt he could rely on her. That if, god forbid a situation like that happened again, he could count on her. But then Ella’s words echoed in the back of her head. How she had to remember to take care of herself as well, or something along those lines. Damn that woman was like everyone’s conscience or something!

“It wasn’t without its hitches, I will admit. And it was certainly a challenge. The self scan attendant from the morning agreed to work an extra fifteen minutes so Nani could cover a break for me. Had that not happened, I doubt I would have had the chance to take a break until we closed. Nor would I have accepted one. There would not have been any other chance, either, with no one else being trained in self scan. And Nani is the only other one at night who has any idea how to run any aspect of the store. She has not had to cover me for more than a half hour in the past, but now that is a half hour we cannot afford to lose.”

“You bring up an excellent point, Elsa,” Oaken admitted. “We have not had self scan in my store for very long. It’s still fairly new and not many of you know how to watch it. I had them installed with the purposes of keeping up with the times. Hoping that, on some level, it would make things a bit easier on everyone’s end. Unfortunately that does not seem to prove to be entirely working at this time. Not if we have enough cashiers to cover the registers but not enough to back up self scan.”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “So…if I may ask…what are you considering?”

“If you are insistent that you have more help at night and that this Maren is the right one for the job, I can ask her if she is willing to change her availability on the weekends to do nights. But only if she is willing to be trained under Nani at self scan. I have no intention of reassigning anyone without asking their permission first. That is not how my store operates. I do not tolerate dictatorships or violence of any sort.”

“So you’ll ask her!”

Oh shit.

That came out much more excited than Elsa anticipated.

And she certainly didn’t want to sound _that_ elated!

Actually, her body language was helping just as little as her tone. She was leaning forward, hands clasped together in front of her chest. A grin grew across her face and she had taken a step forward to hold her balance. Elsa blinked, a blush slowly growing on her cheeks.

“Um…that is…. I mean….”

Oaken couldn’t help but let out a chuckle. “Why don’t you tell me how you really feel!” When Elsa turned her head away and pulled back, Oaken stood. “Relax, dear, I am only teasing. Yes I will ask her.”

“I’m sorry…that was unprofessional….” She stammered.

“Deary, please,” he held up a hand. “There is nothing unprofessional about advocating for your coworkers. You have trust in them. That is all I can ever ask of my employees.”

Elsa managed to give a small smile, even if she still could not meet Oaken’s gaze directly. That did make her feel a bit better. It was her belief in and her comfort around them, not some…some…whatever the hell this thing was for Maren.

Except it wasn’t a thing!

Not at all.

No thing.

Nothing happening at all.

Clearing her throat, Elsa straightened her posture. “So then, I will…I will return to the front and clock in then. And when I see Maren I will send her to you.”

“Excellent. And I will be here until six if you need me,” he nodded.

“Thank you very much for your time, Oaken.” Tilting her head forward, she turned on her heel and exited the office.

She let out the last breath she didn’t realize she’d been holding back that whole time. Elsa had no idea what to expect when she went to see Oaken. Hell, she had no idea until the last second she was even going to suggest what she did. But if it worked…if it kept Maren around at night….

She meant if it kept her team around at night!

Her team.

Going good.

Or well.

Whatever the correct grammar was.

The point was Elsa wanted the best possible people around her. She already knew that Ella and Nani were the best. She knew that if Snow could work any later, she would gladly offer and Elsa would likely accept. And now, with Maren, it felt like the group was complete somehow.

Once Elsa returned to the front she waved high to Snow on register three. It appeared to be a steady day, at least for the time being. She settled in behind the service desk. Everything seemed to be in order for once. There was only one till to be taken in, and then when Maren clocked in she could take the last remaining register. There weren’t many throwbacks gathered behind customer service…. Oh, a note from Oaken! He likely didn’t expect Elsa to stop by his office personally. Elsa read it over.

“As of tomorrow our store will no longer be accepting returns or exchanges as per the safety of our workers. Please note that due to certain item limits we will also no longer be accepting rain checks….” She read to herself.

That was positive, she supposed. It would certainly mean fewer throwbacks on some level to do at night. Unfortunately, though, that also meant dealing with more annoyed customers. Elsa would have to make a mental note to print out some signs to hang up after the store closed. No returns or exchanges…probably a friendly reminder of certain item limits in tandem with the no rain checks rule…. She’d have to think if there was anything else the customers had to be informed of. She only hoped that when Radcliffe and the others arrived in the morning they were not only aware of any changes but enforced them.

Elsa wouldn’t hold her breath.

The first hour of her shift seemed to drag on. The customers were consistent, the phone calls were minimal, and very few needed to visit customer service. Elsa took advantage of a brief lull to bring in the till from register one. When that was complete, Elsa looked at her watch. It was almost time for Maren’s shift. Should she poke her head out to see if her coworker had arrived? No, that might be a bad idea; if someone needed her and saw her, Elsa was considered a goner. She could stay behind the service desk and simply wait. But that just felt so…ordinary.

Ugh, this was ridiculous. What the hell made Elsa think she had to be looking or standing or acting a certain way when one specific person came in? Or thinking she needed to make some grand entrance? No. That wasn’t Elsa nor was it necessary. Shaking her head, she adjusted the gloves on one of her hands and then turned the knob. She had taken all of one step out when she literally walked into whom else but Maren.

“Oh my goodness!” Elsa gasped, taking a leap back. “I am so sorry!”

“No, my bad. I was just trying to look over the desk…” Maren replied.

“I should have watched where I was going.”

“I should’ve paid attention.”

“I didn’t mean to…”

“Me either.”

“So you’re ok?”

“I’m good. You good?”

“I’m good.”

“Good.”

Elsa placed her hands together and looked away. She couldn’t bring herself to meet Maren’s eyes again, at least not right away. From the corner of her eyes, however, she could see Nani with a smirk on her face. Elsa sent a glare in her direction as if to tell her to shut up.

It was bad enough she received that look from Sven earlier.

“Oh!” Elsa suddenly realized. She snapped her head towards Maren, who seemed shocked by Elsa’s quick response. “Oh, I just…I just wanted to remind you to speak with Oaken. It, it shouldn’t take long.”

“Ok. Great. Thanks,” Maren nodded. She paused. “Um…where is Oaken?”

“Take the double doors to Receiving by the produce department. There’s a small office right before the hallway in the back starts. He’s there until six,” she explained.

“Awesome. Thanks. I…I guess I’ll go do that now,” Maren said. “And then I’ll clock in.”

“Good. You can…you can go on register four when you come back.”

There was a pause. Should either of them say anything else? Was there anything to add?

“So…. So I’ll go then,” Maren decided.

“Yes. That sounds…good,” Elsa nodded.

Wow she was terrible. Was she supposed to be this awkward? Or rather, more awkward than usual? No! Elsa was a boss woman! Of course she shouldn’t be awkward. Where the hell was that so-called ‘retail queen’ vibe? The one Elsa supposedly around with all the time? If Elsa could do it around the rudest of customers then she could do it around Maren as well.

“So…” Maren squeaked before clearing her throat. “So…. I’m staying tonight, right? To…to make up for the missed time last night?”

“Right. Yes, of course,” Elsa nodded quickly. She flattened her palms together. “That is, if you so desire to.”

“That’d be great. If you’ll have me anyway.”

Was it supposed to sound almost as bad as Oaken’s ‘under you’ comment earlier? Elsa opened her mouth to speak. She had no idea what was going to come out of her mouth but surely it had to be better than yet another blush rising to her cheeks. She almost didn’t care what she said at that point. But, thanks to Nani’s eavesdropping, that quickly changed.

“So if Maren’s working late, can I leave early to get laid?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cat Bruni returns! I had wanted to write another scene that involved him, and especially with Elsa speaking to him. And since she's still watching Sven for Anna and Kristoff, he got to be there, too. In or out of cannon, i personally definitely don't see Elsa doing the voices for animals the way Kristoff and Ryder do but i do imagine that she'd be more comfortable talking to them than people. And that when she does talk to them, the conversations are more mental. That she imagines what they're saying based on their look or reaction. Also with Bruni, the way Elsa feeds him references the way she sprinkles the snowflakes over Bruni the salamander in Frozen 2. Not realistic, more of an easter egg and also served the purpose of Elsa making a decision about Maren.
> 
> Speaking of Elsa and Maren, someone is starting to get a little bit of an attraction happening there! Of course unlike Maren who actually realizes quickly enough that, yes, it's a crush you idiot, Elsa doesn't have the same thought process and understands not at all why she's thinking what she's thinking. While i do realize that the back and forth in Elsa's head is probably more of an Anna thing, i don't doubt that some of Anna's characteristics rub off on Elsa at some point. (Also it's AU so it's about finding a balance between creating an Elsa that's true enough to the cannon but that also would seem believable in this situation. Why am i over-explaining myself? It's a reflex.) 
> 
> Also i'll leave it to your imaginations how the hell Elsa would've remotely responded to Nani's closing comment.
> 
> As i mentioned, this is gonna be the only update this week. Between the crappy shifts this weekend and also only having like two more chapters typed (and one much later chapter for some reason but we're not ready for that yet) i definitely need to catch up. So i'm hoping in between shifts i can make that happen. I hope you guys enjoyed reading Elsa internally argue with herself and that you could hear Oaken's voice through the writing. And as usual thank you so much for reading and leaving and comments or kudos. I was not really expecting anything when i started writing this but to know that anyone is reading it and you're enjoying it enough to take the time to tell me that you are, i really appreciate that and i thank you for that.
> 
> I'll be attempting some fanfic reading and writing in the meantime but until next week with another chapter i'll see you at self scan. Because that's where i'll be this week. Yay (not).


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been another crazy week and still crazy but emotionally it's been much better. Maybe it also helped i watched Frozen 2 again on one of my nights off? Anyway you guys have been waiting so i'll just jump right to the comments and then start the chapter. I think this is actually the most comments at once i've responded to, so sorry if reading this prolongs the chapter at all but also thank you guys so much for even taking the time to leave the comments! :3  
> @Wikeddistraction - Thank you so much. And thank you so much for working in this mess and helping everyone make sure their pets are healthy and safe. I can't imagine how much more stressful than usual it is working in the medical field right now. I hope you're trying to be as safe as you can and all the animals that have come into you are doing ok. Please keep hanging in there and if even in the madness of this story it's something that distracts you and takes you away from the actual madness, then i'm so glad i can help in that way. I know we're not in the same field but we'll both work through this mess together! <3  
> @Hugo_renfield - That means so much to hear! All the times in the past i've joked about writing a retail story, i never thought people would actually read it. And i know you're totally just reading this for Elsa and Maren and i'm ok with that lol. But it still means so much that even in this setting you're enjoying it and want to read it. And i will try to find ways to add more Elsa/Bruni and/or Sven interactions, too!  
> @Ravrav - The cat is broken, we're all broken lol. I want to apologize for maybe the confusing way the last chapter started but i also kind of don't want to, especially since you did laugh so much about it! Personally i imagined just watching Elsa pace back and forth so maybe we'd think she was talking to someone out of shot and just wasn't giving them a chance to respond so you think maybe it would be Anna or Kristoff and then surprise it's the cat! Elsa is all of us being awkward and confused messes except she just makes it look so damn good lol. She can try to convince herself all she wants, but we'll see if it actually works 0=) And don't worry, i know there's no actual real pressure on writing Snow finding out and shipping them. It's the same pressure as writing the actual story lol. Thank you as always for the encouragement and kind words!  
> @fanficfruitts - Not gonna lie, i was debating tagging useless lesbians for this story. i just wasn't sure if i should or not or if either of them started coming across that way lol. Thank you as always for taking the time to comment! :)  
> @coldname - Confession: i relate to Elsa, i don't know what the hell a crush is either so that was probably the easiest thing aside from the actual customer stories to write! XD I'm glad you're enjoying it so much even with all the suspense of waiting for them to remotely act on their feelings! And i promise, the work is more stressful, at least the writing is entertaining...ok, fine, it's mostly the daydreams that are entertaining. Then it's just a matter of actually writing! PS i did start following you on Twitter (mine is fuzziekins) but like i said, i am super sporadic with that site!  
> @Chiara - Thank you so much! The wait for the next chapter is over for now, and i hope you enjoy this one! :)  
> @T2Boy2 - I'll leave it up to your imagination if Nani did leave early and how awkward Elsa and Maren were around each other! Elsa definitely needs something! Maybe a new head, because of all the time she spends working? I know i feel that! Or maybe just a dictionary so she can look up what the hell relaxing even means! XD
> 
> Side note i'm so glad you all seemed to enjoy the interaction Elsa had with Bruni and Sven last chapter! Confession, i have conversations with my dog all the time except i actually speak and do a voice for him like Kristoff and Ryder do. I have no regrets. But to know that some of you do the same thing, too, and can perfectly imagine Elsa doing that, too? I can't thank you enough for that, especially since i definitely wanna write more of those scenes now! Ok, now onto the chapter at last!

As she entered the new week, Maren thought she was getting the hang of everything. She was keeping herself together, working with everyone else just fine, and learning where everything went…. Sure, there were still a few hiccups along the way but she liked to think that she was doing all right for herself. After all, retail was one of those things that were considered the lowest of the low.

That didn’t make it right, of course. But, sadly, it didn’t stop people from assuming otherwise. Now here Maren was, about to start a new week in a new frontier that was Retail Hell.

It wasn’t as catchy as the Crap Corner, but it was self-explanatory.

Self Scan.

As Maren stood by the time clock waiting for the moment to clock in, she watched Nani weave through the machines like a pro. It was a rush for the moment, but from what Maren could tell the line wasn’t too long. That could change in an instant, of course, and if Elsa wanted Maren back on register to help with the crowds then so be it. She just couldn’t believe that so soon she was being trusted with a new gig. That Elsa recommended her for it. Maren thought back to the other night, hours after she had talked with Oaken and the store closed for the evening.

_“Did you have something to do with this?”_

_Maren had approached the service desk the first moment she got. Elsa was in the process of closing the register at the desk. She turned her head to her coworker, looking genuinely confused._

_“What are you talking about?”_

_“Oaken asked if I’d be interested working only on nights and learning about self scan. Any idea where that came from?” Maren inquired._

_Elsa’s eyes darted upwards. She knew something, but didn’t want to admit it. Why else did she so quickly avoid eye contact? “I have no idea.”_

_Maren folded her arms. She raised an eyebrow and squinted her other eye, as if it were supposed to help her lock onto Elsa better. “Really now?”_

_“Mhm,” the blonde nodded simply before closing the drawer. She turned her back, prepared to move either to the cash office or to grab the till from the last remaining register._

_Maren cleared her throat. She attempted to deepen her voice and exaggerate the enunciation of Oaken. “‘You vere recoomended by Elsa herself. She seems to tink very highly of you. I trust dat she vouldn’t have suggested unless she had de faith in you. So you vill coonsider, ja?’”_

_Maren bit her tongue, attempting to imagine the face Elsa was making at the moment. She would either be holding back a laugh at how horrible Maren’s interpretation was or squirming at how accurate it was. Maren lightly tapped her fingers against her arm, mentally counting the second it took for Elsa to respond._

_“His voice is actually a bit louder than that…” were the first words out of the superior._

_Maren narrowed her gaze. She had no idea what she was expecting, but it was definitely not that. “Elsa.”_

_Sighing, Elsa forced herself to turn around. “Ok, ok.” She closed her eyes and exhaled before opening them, allowing her gaze to focus solely on Maren. “I may have said something to him before clocking in today.”_

_“Why though?” she shook her head._

_Elsa set the drawer on the counter of the desk. She leaned forward, arms folded carefully on top of it. She still didn’t seem to meet Maren’s eyes directly – in fact she seemed to be looking only in Maren’s general direction – but she paid no mind to the rest of her surroundings. “Because I trust you.”_

_Maren’s brows furrowed. How could Elsa’s answer be so simple? Not that it was negative; it wasn’t. Maren wanted to be trusted at work. She wanted to be trusted to do her job. She wanted to be trusted as a person. But…but it had only been a couple of weeks. Actually, less than if you excluded the days she didn’t work. How would Elsa be able to make a decision like that so quickly? Maren didn’t even tell her if she accepted or not. It just…it was a big deal. Self scan was similar to a regular register, yes. But at the same time it was watching five registers at once._

_Ok fine, three self scans. But most stores were known to have five or six._

_But it was still a difference from managing only one register._

_“Thank you…? But how…? Or why…?”_

_Again, Elsa answered with such simplicity. “Because of last night. I saw how you were with Snow the whole time. I see how you are here. With Ella and Nani and the job…. It…” Her brows furrowed as she shook her head. There was a pause, possibly as she attempted to explain it in a way that made sense. After all, nothing in retail seemed to make sense. “It’s hard to find good people around here. It’s difficult for me to work with people. So when I know we have someone…I want to hold onto that. And I know self scan is far from ideal…. Actually, retail is far from ideal. But if that’s what it takes to ensure we can continue this way. That…that is…you with Nani and Ella, and occasionally Snow. I…” She shook her head again. “It is selfish of me, I know. To…want to keep something for myself. But I see all of you together and it almost makes me want to be here. I only want to be here if it is with you…. A...all of you. Collectively. As…as a team.”_

_She appeared to occasionally stumble on her words. Whether it was pausing to think of the proper thing to say or she cut herself off for some inexplicable reason; but it didn’t change the sincerity in her voice. Elsa meant exactly what she said. It was almost like a reward in some odd way. A reward for Elsa, yes. But it was kind of also a reward for Maren. Whether that would affect the number of hours she would get in a week would remain to be seen. However in the regard of her coworkers? Of not completely hating the job? Of actually feeling comfortable? Of being around people who didn’t suck? Then it was certainly a reward for Maren as well._

_“I…I…. Wow….”_

_It wasn’t normal for Maren to stutter. More often than not she did not hold back in what she wanted to say. Hell sometimes she just opened her mouth and let whatever came out, come out. She didn’t mind any awkwardness; that was unavoidable in some cases, Elsa being one of them. What she did mind was being speechless. Of having her words stolen from her. She could barely even look at Elsa’s face. In fact Maren wasn’t even sure if she was looking at her supervisor anymore. Everything just suddenly became blurry. Not in an emotional way…in a she-couldn’t-believe-it sort of way._

_“I…I don’t know what to say….”_

_For a split second, she thought she saw a hopeful smile on Elsa. But that could have been the dream-like state conjuring it up for her. “You could say yes?”_

And that was how Maren ended up prepping herself to learn the art of self scan. Prior to clocking out yesterday, Elsa quickly walked Maren through the process of the next week. Unlike being trained as a cashier, where Maren would always have at least one other person to turn to for assistance, she would be on her own at self scan. Elsa wanted to be sure Maren received as much training as possible before she would be on her own. That was going to be determined by how busy it was during the week. When it was slow, she would watch and work with Nani to learn the basics. It would be up to Nani to decide when Maren could take care of a customer on her own and when she needed to be hovered over. If the lines became too overwhelming or a break needed to be covered, Maren would hop on a register until it slowed. After that…well, Maren had no idea what to expect. She wasn’t sure how often she’d be put on self scan or if it would become her new thing. She just knew it was one more thing to learn and one more thing to get right.

And she _really_ wanted to get it right. After what Elsa said…it felt like the woman had so much faith in Maren. She’d hate to let her down.

Also it’d be nice to impress her.

But that probably wasn’t as important, was it?

Ok.

She could do this.

Maren clocked in and then set her things underneath register six, which was currently unoccupied. She waited until Nani finished up with a customer before approaching her.

“Next on eight!” Nani yelled, signaling the next customer to approach one of the self scans.

“So…” Maren hummed, placing her hands behind her back, “you prefer Boss or Queen of Self Scan?”

Nani waved her hand. “Please I’m no Queen of Self Scan. Well…not the first, anyway,” she chuckled.

Maren raised an eyebrow. She could have sworn that Nani had been watching self scan from the get-go.

“Just start by watching me for a bit, kay? If it starts to get busy I’ll have you play traffic cop,” she continued. “Don’t worry. By the time we’re done you’ll be able to do this in your sleep.”

“I’d rather not. I still have nightmares about high school,” Maren confessed.

“You and me both, girl,” Nani groaned. “Oh but I should warn you, you’ll definitely be hearing the voice of self scan in your sleep. So be prepared to have your dreams haunted forever.”

Maren blinked. “Wait, what?”

_“Please wait, help is on the way.”_

Nani snapped her fingers at the sound of self scan’s voice. “Follow me,” she told Maren. They approached the self scan that spoke, specifically number nine. “What’s up?”

The customer groaned. “All I did was scan the grapes.”

Nani flicked her wrist, swinging her lanyard around her arm until the red card at the end of it was close to her fingertips. She then leaned forward and scanned the barcode on one side of it. A message on the screen appeared saying, “not on file”. Nani nodded knowingly. She gestured to the barcode at the bottom of the bag of grapes, and then to the self scan screen. “The barcode on these don’t scan. If you go to Lookup, you can type the item you’re looking for. Or, if you go to Enter Item Number, you can type the four-digit code on the bag. So these are 4023, you can type that in there and then just weigh them on the scale.”

“Got it,” the customer nodded.

Nani stayed put, watching the customer follow her instructions. He did so quite easily and, before any of them knew it, the grapes and price appeared and they were good to continue with their order. Nani walked away back to the front of the self scans with Maren on her tail.

“So the produce is the same way here like on the registers,” she surmised.

“Yup,” Nani nodded. “Only difference is the customers do it themselves. You’ll probably have to manually do it for a lot of them, though. Some people are too damn lazy and don’t wanna be bothered scrolling through a list of options. Once you know the codes by heart though, you can just tell them which numbers to type in.”

Maren winced. “Yeah…still working on that.”

Nani chuckled. “Just ask Ella, she’ll make you a list of the major ones. No questions asked.”

“Does that actually work?”

“Depends. Some learn by doing, others repetition, others by music.”

“Ok I draw the line at writing a song about produce codes.”

“Don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.”

Maren nearly jumped back at the sudden sound of Elsa’s voice. The blonde seemed to be passing by, holding a large bag of frozen vegetables – an open bag, to be precise – but it didn’t stop her from commenting.

Maren blinked. “You wrote a song about produce codes?”

“Oh, hell no!” Elsa gasped. She placed the damaged item in a plastic bag and then moved it to the Crap Corner. She walked past Maren, not saying another word at first. The action caused the brunette to raise an eyebrow. Then, in almost a split second, Elsa turned to face her with a smirk before quickly continuing on her job. “Chemistry.”

Maren’s jaw dropped. What the hell…?

“Nerd!” Nani yelled after her boss teasingly.

Maren’s head snapped to her coworker.

Nani shrugged, her tone unapologetic. “Well she is. She just admitted to writing a song about chemistry. Who does that?”

Maren shook her head. “Ok, just talk me through this thing. How does it work? Like when someone needs help?”

“You usually know it when you see the blinking light or hear the voice. A lot of times, though, just watch out for a hand gesture.” Nani paused to scoff. “It’s like they’re calling a damn dog over or something.”

“Can’t they just ask us like, I don’t know, normal people?” Maren replied.

“Ha! Funny!”

“Nani.”

“Look, I don’t know if you noticed, but around here we don’t get treated like normal people.”

“Oh, I’ve noticed.”

“Well it’s even worse at self scan. I heard it all. ‘Hey! You!’ ‘Come here!’ ‘Here, girl!’ And the always popular ‘aren’t you gonna help me?’ Sometimes they don’t even call. It’s just a hand signal.”

“What’s next, a whistle?”

“Oh yeah, I heard that, too. Doesn’t work on my sister’s dog, it doesn’t work on me.”

Maren smirked. “Is there anyone here who doesn’t have a pet?”

“Hey don’t go expecting pics, ok? I’m not like Ella who likes to flaunt her fur babies… Not my words, by the way.” She put her hands on her hips. “Also, Stitch isn’t exactly the cutest dog.”

“Heh. My brother would be the judge of that,” she commented.

“I’ll take that bet. Tell him to stop by when it calms down,” Nani decided.

Maren folded her arms and smirked. “What have you got in mind?”

“I love bets as much as the next girl but we don’t have a lot to work with right now,” Nani scrunched her nose, “wanna just say loser buys dinner?”

“You’re on.”

“Oh, but don’t go thinking you can get your brother to pull a fast one on me. I’ll know if he’s lying.”

“Pft. What are you, magic?”

“No but I can smell for miles when my aunt claims she ‘borrowed’ one of my shirts.”

“Not the same.”

“My sister’s also seven.”

“Ok you got me there.”

“Why? Hold old’s your brother?”

“Mentally, probably about the same.”

_Bing! Bing! Bing!_

“Ok I know what that means,” Maren nodded knowingly at the sound.

“Good. Let me show you how it works,” Nani instructed. She led Maren to the self scan and scanned her card, explaining the process to Maren as she moved. The customer had clicked the Check option instead of Card, which meant an automatic transfer. Once Nani clicked the OK button on the screen, a receipt was printed. She led both Maren and the customer over to the spare register at the end of self scan. It operated just as a regular register Maren had been working on, save for no scale to weigh produce. Nani removed the scanner gun, using it to read the barcode on the receipt. The order popped up and, from there, it was just like completing a transaction on a normal register. And, since the order had been transferred, as soon as the receipt printed from the self scan machine a new customer had already been able to start their own order.

After that the next hour was filled with Nani walking Maren through some more of the operation of self scan. It wasn’t quite rocket science but some customers didn’t hesitate to make it seem otherwise. There were a couple who refused to touch the screen at all and one particularly annoying customer who refused to learn how to enter the produce codes. Nani offered to walk him through the process, or even do the first one for him and watch him do the second. The guy didn’t even want to learn. Despite the fact that it was frustrating to Nani, Maren didn’t mind. It gave her the opportunity to memorize the process easier. Lookup. Type in the first few letters. Read the options on the screen. Click one. Put the item on the scale or type in the quantity. Place the item on the belt.

For a moment when there was no one waiting, Nani took Maren to one of the empty self scans and scanned her card. The background of the touch screen became red, signifying an override of the attendant. In addition to the options of Lookup, Enter Item Number, Total, and Help, a new button emerged reading Options. Nani clicked it, showing the variety of overrides Maren may need to run as an attendant. Void Item was self-explanatory; after clicking that all Maren would have to do was click the item on the list the customer no longer wanted. Change Language was also simple, mostly considering the only options were English or Spanish. Coupon and Price Entry were obvious, but Nani made sure Maren saw for herself how those would work. After clicking Coupon, the screen instructed her to enter the price, followed by selecting the department of either Grocery, HBC, Produce, Frozen, Dairy, or General. Price Entry operated in the same manner, the only difference being that while it didn’t necessarily matter what department a coupon went in for it was important to get the right item entered. If a price didn’t come up for a bag of apples, Maren wouldn’t put that under the Frozen department that was for sure. She was given the heads up, however, that she would have to enter her numbers if the price exceeded a certain amount. Something about a security measure or something.

“Ok so what if the customer insists the item’s on sale? What do I do then?” Maren asked.

“If you can double check the flyer, do it. A dollar or two isn’t a big deal if you have to enter it. Just put it through as a coupon. But if it’s something like ten bucks, it’s best to ask for a price check,” Nani explained. “With Elsa, she’ll do her best to check if there’s time. But if you got someone like Radcliffe on your back, he won’t care and just demand you do an override. I had to start keeping a record of how many times I had to put a $10 coupon in cause it happened so much.”

Maren frowned. She hated that guy more and more every time someone shared a new tidbit about him. “How did Radcliffe not get in trouble when he was the one who told you to do that?”

Nani shook her head. “I ask myself that same thing all the damn time. My sister thinks he’s some kinda vampire with hypnotic powers. At this point, I’d probably believe that.”

“Great,” the brunette groaned, “we’re gonna be joining his legion of the undead in no time.”

“Too late,” Nani muttered. “We’re already there.”

“Hey! You opened?”

Nani and Maren turned to see an older gentleman with a hand basket filled with food. Nani tilted her head, making sure there was no one waiting down the aisle. The lull was nice while it lasted.

“Yeah, you can come here,” she nodded. She headed to the other end of self scan to keep watch. Maren followed her lead. She was about to ask another question when the customer spoke.

“Aren’t you gonna ring me?”

“It’s self scan. You do everything yourself,” Nani told him.

The man flinched, dumbfounded. “Why the hell would I do that?”

Nani raised an eyebrow. “Because it’s self scan.”

“Can’t you do it for me?” he questioned.

“We can show you how it works, but it is called self scan,” Maren reiterated. “And we do have to watch the other registers.”

He threw his free arm up. “There’s no one else here!”

Nani turned to look at the other cashiers and then focused on the customer once again. “We have registers three, five, and two opened, I think. You can go to one of them. If they’re all taken you can wait in Aisle 6 to be called.”

He was taken aback by Nani’s forwardness. “I don’t have to do anything! Just ring me up here!”

“Again, we can show you how it works. But it’s called self scan for a reason,” Nani repeated. “And I’m also training. So I have to watch for other customers and show her. If you wait by Aisle 6 someone will call you over as soon as they’re ready.”

“I don’t have to wait for anything! No other store would treat me like this!” he argued.

To that, Nani shrugged. “Then you can leave to go to another store.”

Maren bit the side of her cheek. She attempted to keep a stoic face watching the interaction between Nani and the customer. She knew Nani was more than capable of handling herself and she also came to know that many customers came in with impatience and a sense of entitlement. However this was the first time Maren saw one of her coworkers aside from Elsa handle them so calmly.

Ok, maybe calmly wasn’t the right adjective.

Nani stood her ground. She held nothing back. She kept her answers simple and told him exactly what it was. She left no room for negotiation nor was she affected by his responses. There was no doubt the woman had done this multiple times before. And she had to have done it while watching customers at the self scans and attending to them. That had to have been a bigger challenge, juggling everything at once. Yet there was Nani showing no fear or remorse.

And, apparently, the customer wasn’t either.

Maren would have described him as someone who threw his hand basket onto the machine. But she had to take into account that it was the angle she was standing at. Upon moving closer after he stormed out, she saw Nani pick up the basket from the scale and walk back to Maren. The customer had simply slammed it down instead. Not that it was much better than throwing something.

Shaking her head, Nani took out a quarter gallon of milk. “Can you put this with the rest of the crap?”

“Uh…yeah. Sure,” Maren nodded. She took the basket and moved to the Crap Corner while Nani opened one of the coolers near self scan and set the bottle inside. Maren tried her best to set the items back in the bins where they belonged. Fortunately there weren’t a lot of products; it only seemed like a lot because there were multiple cans of tuna fish.

Great. First people hoarded toilet paper, then water, and now they were trying to hoard cans, too!

“Hey,” Nani spoke from behind. Maren jolted back briefly, nearly losing her grip on the handle. “Don’t worry about putting everything in the right spot. It’s always just one of us watching self scan. Unless it’s a ghost town, just put everything down here or in a wagon if one exists. They can get organized later. Let’s focus on training you on this thing first.”

Maren nodded. “Sure….” She set the basket at the top of the wagon in the corner and joined Nani back in the center of self scan. A customer with a larger order approached one of the machines and began scanning her items. Fortunately she seemed to be the only one for the moment. Maren paused before speaking, though made sure to keep watch on the machines. “So…I guess that happens a lot, huh?”

Nani shrugged. “You get used to it. I’ve been handling these things from night one. There’s not much I haven’t dealt with already.”

The statement puzzled Maren. “I thought you said you weren’t the first?”

“Well obviously Oaken had to know something when he installed the machines so he was technically the first. But if you don’t count him, I was the second. There was someone the morning shift before me learning everything,” she replied.

“So that makes you, what? The Princess of Self Scan?” Maren joked.

Nani rolled her eyes. “Aye don’t ever use that title on me!”

Smirking, Maren folded her arms. “So it’s true.”

“Trust me, girl, I’m not any princess and I sure as hell don’t plan to be.” Nani mimicked Maren’s position, folding her arms and giving her a cocky grin. “But if you really wanna know who the royalty of this dump is, there’s only one person who’s ever actually been queen of anything.”

“How so?” Maren inquired.

“Knowing all the in’s and out’s of the store. Register. Self scan. Service desk. Phone calls. Locations. Rain checks. Price checks.” She counted off each thing on her finger before folding her arms once again. “Let’s just say there’s another reason we call her the Snow Queen.”

Maren’s eyes widened. “Elsa??”

Nani’s grin grew. “Mhm.”

“Wait, wait….” Maren waved her arms and briefly paced back and forth, attempting to process the new information. “I don’t…. How…? But…. When…?”

Nani laughed. “If there’s anyone who can catch onto anything, it’s Elsa. Yeah, she can have this icy bit about her sometimes. But you show her anything around here, teach her anything once, she gets it. You seen her handle that double. She says we work hard? Nuh-uh. No one works harder than that bitch. Elsa’s hardcore about her work. But it also means she knows exactly what she’s doing. That’s why we follow her so easily. That’s why we trust her. She was the Queen of Self Scan before she was the Snow Queen. Nah, she can’t fix everything about it. That’s why we have Tech Support or whatever. If a machine breaks down, it’s up to the guys who installed it to come and have a look. We’ve had our share of problems with these machines. But if anyone knows when we shouldn’t touch em, it’s Elsa.”

She swatted the air in front of Maren, in place of swatting Maren herself. “Take last year. One of the machines was completely lōlō. Wasn’t accepting any bills for two days. The belt froze after every order.”

“How’d it do that?” the brunette asked.

“Whenever you hear that damn…” she imitated self scan’s voice, “‘please wait, help is on the way’…” she returned to her normal voice, “the screen usually says what’s up. Sometimes it says there’s a block. One of the sensors or something, I don’t know. Anyway, the thing kept doing it after every order even when there was nothing on the belt. Elsa shut it down during her shift and let me know when I came in not to turn it back on. Same thing happened the next day. Day three I come in early and Radcliffe’s at Elsa’s throat. Basically telling her we can’t afford to be down a register and it doesn’t matter what it’s doing, it’s gotta stay on. Cause having a broken machine and constantly attending to it was better than having only two of the self scans opened.”

“So what happened?” she asked.

“We got so many complaints from the customers the machine had to be shut down. Couldn’t use it for over a week. That’s how long it took to fix. Elsa knew more about her job than Radcliffe, and he’s been a retail manager since the dinosaurs walked the earth.” Nani’s eyes darted towards customer service and then landed back on Maren. “Elsa can be a tough read. And yeah, sometimes she’s not the easiest person to work with or talk to. But she does a damn good job around here and she shows she cares about us. I may not get her but that doesn’t mean I gotta talk to her with disrespect. I call her Snow Queen to get under her skin, yeah. I’m not gonna lie, it’s fun as hell to shake people. But I also call her that cause you better believe that as long as she’s here I’m following her. Queen Elsa of Retail.”

Maren turned away from self scan, allowing herself to watch Elsa work instead of paying attention to the customer. The blonde was behind the service desk now. She seemed to be filling something out for them, or maybe looking something up? Maren wasn’t quite sure. Any sounds around her fell on deaf ears. Her only focus was the blonde. She leaned forward on the desk slightly as she filled whatever it was out, but as soon as that was complete she stood straight and poised. She somehow always kept her hands or arms in front of her, as if being six feet away from people was natural to her and not some rule in place because of a virus. Her face was still; seeming to bear no emotions, yet Maren had no doubt that every time Elsa spoke there was always that airy quality to it. Never any malice nor anger unless warranted. The icy tone that seemed so natural to her was not necessarily shot at anyone in the way shards would be flung at someone, but rather used as a barrier for her to hide behind. Her braid cascaded over her shoulder and fell just past her chest. Maren rarely recalled seeing Elsa with the braid behind her. Even though it was tied towards the center, it somehow always found a way to one of her sides. Like another sort of shield. Elsa nodded at something the customer said and then opened one of the flyers. There was no doubt that whatever the customer was asking Elsa was handling it with the grace and composure of a real queen.

Never mind the fact that Elsa was as beautiful as any queen.

And, with the way she treated people, she certainly deserved to be treated like a queen.

But damn if there was ever a moment where Maren could so easily picture a crown resting on top of Elsa’s head. Or if she felt like she should be kneeling at that woman’s feet.

A too-loud snapping caused Maren to jump back. It was amazing she didn’t let out a squeal of some sort in response. She saw Nani had been the one snapping her fingers directly in Maren’s ear.

“What the hell??”

Nani could only respond with a smirk.

“Nani.”

The smirk remained.

“Oh come on!”

_“Please wait, help is on the way.”_

Was that supposed to annoy Maren or relieve her?

Nani offered her card to Maren. “Give it a try.”

Maren stared at her wide-eyed. “Wait, me?”

“Yeah, girl. Elsa’s looking this way. Show her how well you’re doing,” she encouraged.

Maren turned her head briefly. Nani wasn’t playing; Elsa had finished with her customer and was indeed watching self scan. Or Maren? Whatever, she was looking in their general direction. Gritting her teeth with nerves, Maren spun back to her coworker.

“I haven’t done anything,” she argued as if lowering her voice was going to make a difference.

“But you have been watching,” she reminded her. “Come on, this is your best chance to impress Elsa.”

“What makes you think I’m trying to?”

“Pft. Please.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What happened to that attitude you came in with those first few days?”

“It’s retail.”

“Ok, point.”

“Nani, she’s waiting. Go.”

“I’m training you, and I’m telling you to go. You got this.”

“But…”

“I’m not the only one around here who’ll follow Elsa. But I’m pretty sure you’d follow her for very different reasons.”

Maren bit her lower lip. How the hell did Nani know? Was it that obvious? Or was Maren simply oblivious?

Oh crap.

If Nani knew, did Elsa know?

Eyes bulging, Maren looked towards Elsa again. The blonde only tilted her head, folding a concerned look.

Ok, that was good. She was only worried how Maren was handling the new task. That had to be it. Maren was safe. Well…sort of.

She spun back to Nani. She wished she could control the speed her thoughts were going. She could barely catch any of them. Was she pathetic for liking Elsa? Was it affecting her work? Did anyone else know? How badly was Maren screwing up right now?

Meanwhile the customer was still waiting for someone to come help her. How was she not as pissed as the one before her? Oh man, Maren really was messing up, wasn't she!

“Hey.”

Nani’s stern voice brought Maren back to reality. The woman placed her self scan card in Maren’s hand.

“You got this, Casanova.”

Huh.

It was funny, in a way. The first time Nani called Maren that, it was in a teasing way. She caught onto Maren accidentally flirting – yes, Maren swore she didn’t know or mean it – with Elsa during that first encounter. It was embarrassing and completely threw Maren off. But there was something different about this time. Yes, Nani still had that playful gleam in her eye. She was toying with Maren; Nani even said it herself that she enjoyed getting under peoples’ skin. Her tone, however, was actually inviting. She wanted to see that side of Maren again.

Because, moments before being called Casanova, Maren was relaxed. She had confidence. She was being natural. Where had that all gone?

Oh, right. Retail Hell.

But still. Why couldn’t she still have that? Who was to say Maren couldn’t radiate that same personality around customers as well? Could it somehow make her a better worker? If Elsa saw Maren act that way around everyone else would she feel less inclined to run from her?

There was only one way to find out.

Puffing out her chest, Maren gripped the card tight and strutted over to register nine. “I’m sorry about the wait, miss. I’m just being trained right now, my coworker was explaining something to me.”

The woman shook her head. “Oh don’t even worry about it. This is my first time out in eight days.”

“Living that quarantined life, huh?”

“It’s the worst. But I needed food.”

“Oh yeah, for some stupid reason we actually need that to survive.”

Maren scanned the card and waited for the screen to dictate what the problem was. Please let it be easy, please let it be easy.

_Not on file._

Maren looked down at the belt. Oh, it was asparagus. She definitely knew how to handle this!

“Did you try scanning the barcode on that?”

“I did, but by accident. I was trying to look it up when it scanned.”

“Oh yeah, my coworker says that’s normal. There’s actually a way around it. I can show you.”

“Oh, there’s another way?”

“Looking it up is one way, yeah. But…” she picked up the item and turned it around until she found the code. Maren then pointed to it, “most of the produce has these numbers on them. If you go to Item Number you can type it in that way.”

“That’s great. Thank you.”

“No problem.”

Maren began to walk back when the customer called her again.

“I do have one more question, actually. The English muffins. Aren’t they on sale this week?”

Maren mentally pictured the first page of the flyer. Not that there were many sales to remember anymore, but she was sure she could remember a few of them. The seltzer’s were five for five, the Ritz crackers were on sale, and she was fairly certain there was something about ice cream as well….

Oh!

“Buy one, get one, I think?”

The customer nodded. “Yes, that’s what I saw on the sign. But I didn’t see it come off yet.”

“The free items come off at the end when you total it. It does the same thing when you scan coupons, too, I’m told,” Maren explained.

“Excellent, thank you so much,” the customer smiled. “Is this your first day?”

“Watching self scan, yeah,” Maren admitted. “But the produce and free items I’ve seen on a regular register, too, so that’s how I remembered.”

“Well you’re off to a great start. Thank you for doing this,” the customer nodded.

“You’re welcome,” Maren replied. She walked back over to Nani with a smile on her face. After seeing some of the things that happened at self scan in only one hour, it was a nice change of pace to be able to handle something. Not to mention have someone actually be polite and understanding about the situation. As soon as Maren was back within arm’s length of her coworker, Nani held up her hand. Maren responded by giving her a high five. Their gloves brushing against each other created the faintest slapping sound, but it might as well have been roars of applause after Maren handled her first self scan customer solo.

“There’s the Casanova I was waiting for,” Nani grinned. “How’d it feel?”

Maren responded with a smirk. “I think there’s one more thing I have to do first.” She walked away from Nani, not bothering to notice if her coworker was more focused on her or the job. Maren stopped in front of customer service, unafraid to meet Elsa’s eyes. While Maren’s were now filled with comfort and confidence, Elsa’s still held concern. It almost appeared as if she were trying to hide a smile. Even if she had seen Maren handle the customer, Elsa was right to be nervous. She was probably wondering if Maren was doing ok with her new job and if she was having any regrets in accepting.

“How’s it going…?” Elsa inquired cautiously.

“I think I’m getting the hang of it,” she answered.

Elsa’s shoulders relaxed, releasing the invisible weight they were holding. “I knew you could do it.”

Maren clicked her tongue. “I do have one question, though.” She took a pause, watching Elsa’s eyes flutter at the boldness. “Did you really write a chemistry song?”

Elsa’s head flew back slightly. Her braid slid off her shoulder and swung around to her backside. “It was for my sister. I was trying to help her earn some extra credit.”

Maren scoffed lightly. “Wow you really are a nerd.” She said it in a playful manner, sticking out her tongue at the end to emphasize her teasing.

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “And how well did you do in Chemistry?”

Maren sucked in her lips. So much for her attitude.

“I don’t think that matters right now,” she answered almost too quickly.

“That’s what I thought,” Elsa hummed. “I hope you didn’t sign up for any science classes next semester.”

“And what if I did?” Maren queried. “Would you consider singing the song for me?”

It must have been the boldest question she asked all day. Hell, forget the day, in the entirety of her career. She dared to ask Elsa, the appointed Queen of Retail, to sing her something based off a random comment that was originally supposed to mean nothing. There wasn’t even any significance behind it; it was pure curiosity. Maren had no idea what kind of response to expect.

Yet somehow, Elsa gave her exactly what she should have seen coming.

She spoke in her usual tone, the one where not only did her voice seem to float on air but was accompanied with light flurries. It sent a chill down Maren’s spine, though not in an unpleasant way. Elsa held up a hand, pointing towards self scan. She raised one eyebrow and kept her jaw loosely clenched. Even as she spoke and stood at the desk with her fingers laced together on it, everything about Elsa seemed to scream elegance.

Maybe she was known as the Snow Queen or the Ice Queen.

Maybe at one point in her life she was referred to as the Queen of Self Scan.

Hell, for all Maren knew Elsa could very well be the official Queen of Retail.

But whatever kind of leader she was, whomever she was known as, and wherever she was, she was simply, beyond a shadow of a doubt, Queen Elsa.

“Back to self scan, Maren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well i hope you guys enjoyed learning about self scan in this universe. I absolutely hate it in every universe! This was my way of torturing Maren, giving her self scan duty to learn, but it also works in her favor cause she gets to be near Elsa more! Nani will especially enjoy teasing Maren with this newfound information! Maren's basically busted lol. I realize the more i write, the more i'm probably off with Nani's character in cannon. But i think it's combining knowing what she's gone through trying to keep custody of Lilo and add the cynicism of retail on top of it, she's someone who would've adopted this tough girl persona and probably became a bit more cynical as a result. So while with Elsa and Anna and, to a lesser extent Maren (who didn't get enough screentime even!) i want to have more truth and believability to their characters, the others are seeming to be more liberal. But then again, this is also Elsa and Maren's story so they kinda have to be a bit more accurate!
> 
> Most of the stuff i mentioned in this chapter was really just for me. Elsa admitting to writing a chemistry song once? I did that in high school for extra credit...ok my then-friend came up with the words, but i provided the information for the words. And if it meant helping Anna, of course Elsa would stoop down to writing a chemistry song. No, she will never actually sing it. The different kinds of customers at self scan? All accurate. Some people are friendly when we explain something to them. Others, despite going to self scan, don't actually wanna do anything for themselves. And the guy who dumped his hand basket on self scan? There actually was a customer last year at my store who was so pissed about something, i don't even remember what anymore except it was outta my control, he threw his hand basket of yogurt and bear on the machine, yelled some profanity, and stormed out. So that was based on a real thing.
> 
> As far as Elsa, Queen of Retail? The Queen of Self Scan started as an inside joke, cause one of my work moms has been watching self scan since it started and she does that every single shift. And while i don't do it every shift, i do it enough that my coworker says i'm her successor to self scan. So my coworker is the Queen of Self Scan and i'm the Princess of Self Scan. It's the titles neither of us asked for or ever wanted. But with Elsa actually having been a queen, and a pretty damn good one, the joke just kind of turned into something totally accurate with her. Because of how much she does know and how much she supports and helps her coworkers and with how she presents herself. So Elsa's literally worked her way up from being a cashier to also knowing self scan to watching customer service to basically running the store during her shift. So, all hail Queen Elsa!
> 
> I did get to write another chapter last week, although it takes place much later, but this week my hours were actually cut so i'll see if i can actually write something in order this time. But sometime between Thursday and Saturday there will be another update. As usual, thank you guys so much for putting up with me and choosing to read this insane story. Thank you for the kudos and any comments you have left, they are definitely pushing me to write more and more right now so i appreciate you guys so much for that! I'll see you guys at the register.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The crazy retail stories never end! I'm getting so much material still for this story i question how much of it i should even use so i don't scar you guys. o.0 Last night there was a customer so horrible (fortunately i was not the one to deal with him) i'm debating if that should be used at any point or not. So for now we'll just settle with the horrible story for this chapter which, yes, is almost exactly like a customer i dealt with about a month ago.  
> @Ravrav - I have no idea! Why _is_ the job part of this story so interesting? Please tell me because i have no idea how i do that! I thought i was boring and scarring you! On second thought that's probably not a thing i should admit out loud.... But i'm glad you're enjoying the story regardless! And enough that you might actually want to reread parts of it! I notice the more i write that flirty Maren is either intentionally flirty or accidentally flirty and she doesn't realize until afterwards so she is definitely NOT helping Elsa at all! I hope you're up for more Elsamaren interactions because you'll be getting some of that this chapter, too! :)  
> @coldname - lol the Queen of Self Scan line started as a joke and it just turned into something else! Unfortunately i don't think i'll be adding any other nicknames inspired by me or my coworkers. Except for Sis, i call my work sisters that and my work brother calls me that. XD Other fun nicknames, one of my former coworkers was Chocolate Hater because he hated chocolate (but i made sure he was ok with me calling him that), and another former coworker used to call me Bean cause i'm tiny. So it's not even just Elsa being called Snow Queen or Queen of Self Scan or Nani calling Maren Casanova, coworker nicknames are totally a thing! It makes me both happy and sad that these stories are relatable because, and i say this every time because it's so insane, some of these stories are just too crazy to sound true even though they are. No one should have to deal with them but that's the reality! Honestly though i think Elsa handles it all WAY better than Maren flirting with her lol. They're both equally useless!  
> @T2Boy2 - i wish i knew why "back to self scan Maren" was so funny! xD Unless Maren thought she was actually winning Elsa over and ended up failing? Or it could be because most of us, when we have to go back to self scan it's the last place we want to go. Either way, i'm glad the interaction was entertaining for you! ^^  
> @fanficfruitts - Aww thank you! Maren's thinking what we all actually already know and are just waiting for Maren to say it out loud. And it's absolutely true! Even if Elsa is technically like some kind of goddess in cannon now, she was and still is a queen and deserves to be treated like one, so Maren's gotta get her act together and do just that! Thank you! :3
> 
> Alright guys, time to brace yourselves for another customer horror story! Stay tuned for the end notes to read the inspired by interaction.

“I actually can’t take these right now.”

It was probably considered a retail sin…telling a customer no. It didn’t matter the issue or the reason. Nine out of ten times there was no good reason to tell a customer they couldn’t do or have something. According to Radcliffe, using no on a customer was the equivalent of calling them a slur. Maren took offense to that train of thought. And while Elsa’s reign – or rather, supervision – was much different, Maren had noticed a few instances where even the blonde had to give in. It was done much to her chagrin, but every once in a while it appeared easier to shut someone up than to continue fighting a losing battle.

Damn Customer Is Always Right policy.

And now it appeared Maren was going to have her own battle against the creed. Because as soon as the sentence left her mouth, the customer stared at her blankly.

“What are you talking about? Of course you can.”

Oh no. She wasn’t going to fall for that. It was the classic I Had No Idea This Was a Rule reaction.

Fred’s title, not Maren’s.

She barely shared any portion of her shifts with the guy and somehow she still managed to catch onto his many names for customers’ reactions. She personally thought the most common look was the I’m Never Shopping Here Again After You Talked To Me This Way look.

Not that she was going to use that ever again.

Maren attempted to hand the papers back to him. “We’re not accepting rain checks right now.”

His look remained dumbfounded. “You were last week.”

“And the change in policy came this week,” she replied.

“Look I don’t see why I can’t use them. I just spent an hour shopping for these things,” the customer insisted.

“Last I heard this was the policy.”

Not that keeping the answer simple was ever enough to stop a customer from arguing.

“Can you double check?” he asked.

Maren held in a sigh. It looked like it was going to be time for yet another battle. However if there was a silver lining to this it was now that, for the most part, Maren would primarily be working evening shifts under Elsa. That meant actually feeling comfortable calling someone over for assistance and not feeling she was doing as bad as the customer claimed. Unlike Radcliffe, who would look for the quickest solutions, Elsa would actually listen to both sides, inspect, and weigh the options. Fighting the urge to roll her eyes, Maren pushed herself away from her register and approached the customer service desk. She leaned onto it slightly, keeping her mouth shut as she watched Elsa on the phone. The blonde must have already seen her coming, as she held up a finger. Maren bit the side of her cheek, listening to only a few portions of the conversation. Something about explaining the grocery deliveries or whatever. Not a surprise.

Once Elsa hung up the phone she gave her coworker her undivided attention. “Is everything alright?”

“Remind me, we’re not taking rain checks anymore are we?” Maren asked.

Elsa counted off each policy change on her finger. “No rain checks, no writing out rain checks, no bottle returns, no more store coupons, no using the customers’ reusable bags, and no more than two packs of water, toilet paper, paper towels, or hand sanitizers per household.”

“That’s what I thought,” Maren rolled her eyes, “I got some guy with five rain checks.”

“Please inform him that as of two days ago we are not allowing the use of those,” Elsa said.

Ever the professional, Maren thought, regal as ever.

“You got it, boss,” she tapped the desk before returning to her station. She barely heard Elsa mumble, “please don’t call me that” in the process. In any other instance, Maren would either smirk or playfully rub it in her supervisor’s face. Unfortunately that would have to wait until later. “Supervisor says rain checks are a no-go till further notice.”

The man blinked. “You were just taking them last week!”

Oh. That again.

“And now we’re not. It just went into effect the other day.”

“I need these items, I just spent all this time looking for them.”

“That’s the rule right now.”

“Can you call them over?”

“I think she’s in the middle of something.”

“I’ll wait.”

Maren had no idea what good that was going to do. Elsa would likely tell him verbatim what she told Maren. But if that’s what the customer wanted and Elsa had a free moment to waste, then so be it. Trying her best to keep a straight face, Maren returned to the desk.

“Customer wants you.”

Elsa blinked. “What about…?”

“The rain checks.”

“Didn’t we just…?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Did you tell him…?”

“Yup.”

“And he insists?”

“Unless I can punch him instead.”

Elsa sucked in her lips. Of course she wasn’t going to let that happen. Although Maren would be lying if she said she didn’t hope Elsa pictured it happening. “Very well,” the blonde conceded.

Maren sighed. “I tried to get you out of it.”

“And I appreciate that, thank you.”

“I can try to stall if you need me to?”

Elsa exhaled. “No…it’s best to get this over with.” Clearing her throat, she let herself out of the safety of the service desk and followed Maren to register four. She kept her gaze relaxed at first. How the hell she did that so easily, Maren had no clue. She could only chalk it up to years of practice. “What can I help you with, sir?”

Seriously, how could she keep her appearance _and_ voice so calm in front of an annoying customer at the same time?

The man pointed to the papers. “I’m trying to use these rain checks.”

“Unfortunately we are not accepting rain checks anymore until further notice.”

“But they don’t expire.”

“That may be true, but there was a change in our policy.”

“I just used a bunch last week.”

“And this week a new rule is in place. I’m afraid the rain checks will have to wait.”

“The last manager let me use them.”

“That was when they were still allowed.”

“Well what changed?”

“I was informed only of the change, not of the specifics. I can only speak for what I know and have personally seen. I noticed a problem with a few issued rain checks early last week in which the register was not accepting them. At first we believed it was a glitch in the system but evidently it was proven otherwise. I recommend holding onto them until everything settles.”

“Well is there anyone else I can ask about it?”

“I can assure you sir, that anyone else you take the matter up with will give you the same answer. Policy is policy.”

“Well then who’s above you? I wanna speak to them.”

Maren was finding it more challenging to restrain herself. She resorted to placing her hands behind her back, squeezing them together in the process. She imagined them holding her head back, squeezing her cheeks tight enough so that her lips were unable to form coherent sentences. It was one thing to question her; she was still learning and, even as she just started her job, the rules were constantly changing due to the virus. More rules or restrictions were being put in place for various reasons. She recalled skimming an article that morning about how some stores were beginning to limit the number of people entering at once or requiring their employees to wear face masks in hopes of protecting them in some regard. While she couldn’t speak for what Oaken was considering for his store specifically, Maren was fully aware that he had already set new rules. The first one coming to mind being the bottle returns. There was no way to say for sure how long a customer had the bottles for, where they’d been, or who else may have used them. The unknown was not worth potentially risking his employees over it. Questioning Maren’s knowledge on these topics was one thing. However the disbelief in Elsa was completely uncalled for.

Nani said it herself. Elsa knew almost everything about the store. Elsa could catch onto something almost instantly. She buried herself in her work. She prided herself in her work ethic, keeping the store going, prioritizing her coworkers, keeping everyone informed, and so on. Maren wouldn’t go so far as saying this job meant everything to Elsa but it certainly had to mean something to her to put the effort in that she did. She did not take it lightly by any means. Yet here was this customer not taking Elsa’s word for it when she spoke so calmly and confidently about the situation. It almost didn’t seem to matter what she said or how simply she explained it. Nothing would be satisfactory.

“There is only one other manager who works here and he is not on. The only person above me is the owner of the store and he is not in today,” Elsa explained.

“Well when is he coming in? Tomorrow?” he questioned.

“I’m afraid I cannot divulge that information.”

“Why not?”

“I do not reveal the hours of any of my coworkers.”

“Look lady, I’m asking to speak to the owner so I can use my damn rain checks.”

“And I can assure you, he would be telling you the same thing.”

“You gonna get him or not?”

“As I said, he’s not in right now.”

“Well can you call him and ask him?”

Maren tilted her head in hopes of getting a clearer view of Elsa’s face. Thus far she had been primarily staring at the back of her head. But as her profile came into view Maren noticed the woman’s face shifted from a calm demeanor into a stoic one. She was concealing again, wasn’t she? Refusing to allow this person to see how much he was annoying her. Not allowing herself to break despite how frustrating his demands were.

Damn Elsa was strong.

Maren liked to think she personally was strong, but that was primarily physical. What Elsa had was restraint. That took more power than Maren was sure she had in her own body.

“I can attempt but I make no promises. It will be a few minutes, at least.” She glanced to Maren from the corner of her eye. “Shut your light off for the time being, please. If you see the line becoming too long, please help bag the large orders until I return.”

Maren nodded in understanding. She watched Elsa walk away and enter the cash office. Though she had no idea what Elsa would be calling Oaken from in there instead of the phone at the desk, Maren asked no questions. Taking in a breath, she flattened her shoulders and then turned to get a look at the line forming down Aisle 6. It didn’t appear too bad for the moment and, with two other registers opened, it wasn’t anything unmanageable. Maren considered moving to help Ella bag or perhaps play traffic cop until Elsa would return. However before she could move the customer spoke, prompting her to remain in her spot.

“I don’t understand why you just can’t take my rain checks.”

Ugh, did this guy ever shut up?

No, no, don’t go there, Maren, she thought, conceal it, don’t feel it.

She could do this. It was just another customer who was pissed he couldn’t get his way. She’d dealt with his kind already. And this certainly wouldn’t be the last one. If she continued letting them get to her so easily what did that say about her? How long would she really last for? And if she couldn’t handle dealing with the people in retail how would she fare anywhere else? These were the worst of the worst; Maren had to learn how to deal with them. If she couldn’t hold her own against these customers how would she stand a chance against anyone else? No, she couldn’t react. Conceal it, don’t feel it.

Letting out a short breath, she willed herself to turn to him. “I just work the register. All I know is policies are policies.”

“Yeah well I used them fine last week. I don’t know why I can’t use them now,” he responded.

So he was still on this. “Things seem to change pretty quickly now,” she answered simply.

“And what do you know about this?” he questioned.

Oh, no, Maren knew where this was going. He was going to try to turn this around and put the blame on her somehow. With any luck Elsa would be able to get in touch with Oaken and he could settle this damn ordeal; but until then Maren was just going to have to hold her own and be honest.

“I just know everyone’s trying to be more careful. From what I understand that’s why a lot of new rules are in place. There’s gotta be some precautionary explanation behind everything now. Things we gotta keep our eyes on or things we have to make sure we all do and follow exactly the same so there’s no mix-ups. I’m just trying to do what they tell me.”

“Ok well I’m just trying to do my food shopping. You got a lot of items missing from the shelves and I didn’t even find everything I’m looking for. So I really need to use those rain checks now,” he replied.

Maren simply shrugged. “A lot of the items are hit and miss. It depends when the trucks come, what they have, and when people come to shop. A lot of the cans and frozen food have been going quick, I noticed.”

“Yeah, I just got the last ten cans of beans. The rain check’s a good deal, I can’t be passing that up at a time like this,” he continued.

“Just following the rules, sir,” she said.

“Yeah well I don’t have this problem with the other manager. She’s gonna lose a lot of customers playing hard to get this way. I don’t trust her shit for a second.”

Maren bit her tongue. She should get some kind of award for making it as long as she was without reacting so suddenly. She wouldn’t go so far as to say she wanted to punch him in the face right this moment, but she certainly wanted to give him a piece of her mind. Continuing to put Elsa down the way he was. Complaining he wasn’t getting his way. Making a big deal over the rain checks he just _had_ to use tonight despite the fact that they didn’t expire. When were those even issued, anyway? They looked pretty old.

Maren gulped. She wanted to call him out for what he said about Elsa. How dare he talk about her like that. How dare he question her authority. How dare he make her walk away from her duty, annoy her boss when it was his night off with his family, and act as if she had no clue how to do her job. Maybe Maren was being biased, maybe it was her inexperience, or maybe it was her crush on Elsa; but whatever the case she would have given anything to call him out right that second.

Conceal, don’t feel, she reminded herself. Conceal, don’t feel.

It felt like too much time had passed when Elsa stepped out from the cash office. Maren was unsure how long it had been and, quite frankly, she didn’t care. She just hoped that whatever Elsa had to say to this man could get him off her line and out of the building.

“I just hung up with the owner. He confirmed that we are indeed no longer accepting rain checks and will be following that rule until further notice.”

The man scoffed. “Did he really?”

“Yes, in fact he did.”

“I wanna talk to him myself.”

“He prefers not to be disturbed at home and I’ve no intention of contacting him again. I spoke to him and his word, as well as mine, are final.”

“Did you really talk to him?”

“Do I need to show you my recents list as proof?”

“Yeah, how do I know you really talked to him?”

“Because I can repeat word for word precisely what he told me.”

“Oh yeah?”

Maren stepped behind Elsa so the customer wouldn’t see the glare she was sending in his direction. Thank god Elsa was taller than she was; finally being shorter than someone came in handy. She could feel her nails digging into her palms as her fists tightened behind her. He couldn’t be serious. Elsa went out of her way to call Oaken in his own home and it _still_ wasn’t good enough! There was no pleasing this idiot.

Clearing her throat, Elsa closed her eyes and reiterated Oaken’s directions to her, though she spared them both of speaking in his distinctive accent. “‘As of this past Saturday I have made the decision to no longer allow the use of rain checks in my store. We will also continue not to issue any until further notice. This decision was made out of concern for our many customers. The trucks are only delivering a specific amount of items at specific times. We want to make sure that with our now limited resources we can allow as many customers to purchase items they may need as possible. This is to prevent hoarding, as many customers have taken advantage with certain items in these times. It’s simply a matter of supply and demand. Please see to it that this, as well as our other new company policies, are followed as instructed. And please note that I will know if any of these rules are overridden in any way. I would prefer it if you only contacted me again in the state of an emergency.’”

Maren’s eyes darted away as if it were to prevent a smug look from crossing her face. That should teach him a lesson!

Unfortunately she was proven wrong.

“Can’t you make an exception?”

As Elsa spoke again, her tone quickly shifted. It was no longer devoid of emotion but rather filled with ice. And unlike most other instances where such a tone was used as a shield, this was unmistakably offensive. If Maren could see the look in Elsa’s eyes right now she could imagine her shooting icicles at the man, ultimately pinning him to the wall. In her mind, as he dangled helplessly midair Elsa approached him confidently, flats clicking loudly against the tiled surface of the store. She would look him directly in the eyes and, if it were possible, speak with an even colder tone, cold enough to breathe frost onto his glasses. Oh, what she wouldn’t give to see that for herself!

“As I just told you, _sir_ , the owner will know if we override the protocol. It will show up in the system and I will be the one to hear about it after he gave me specific instructions not to go against him. No exceptions. No rain checks. No sale.”

“Well when is he coming in next? I wanna talk to him myself.”

“I can only say that he will possibly be in tomorrow. But I do not give out anyone’s specific hours without their consent.”

“Afraid I’ll complain about your horrible service?”

“You may speak with him in person if he’s in. But if you are dissatisfied with our policies you are more than welcome to leave.”

“Fine. Take your items back. Thanks for wasting my time!”

With that, the customer pulled the wagon out from Maren’s lane. He adjusted it so he was behind it, gripping the handle. And then, without warning, he pushed it straight ahead into the wall. The cart crashed against it with a _BAM_ , barely missing the Coinstar machine next to it in the process. Without another word, the man stormed out.

Maren’s eyes widened at the site. Her head spun back only for a brief second, swearing she heard a few gasps from behind her. No doubt everyone who heard that slam had to have been asking what the hell happened. Meanwhile the question on Maren’s mind was much more daunting. How had Elsa just done that great a job at concealing? Or were situations such as that so common that it no longer fazed her? There seemed to be little to no reaction from the taller woman. What kind of magic was she to be able to control herself in such a situation?

After a moment, Elsa retrieved the cart and returned it to Maren. The brunette tried her hardest to meet Elsa’s gaze, but something in her simply couldn’t allow it. She wished she could explain it. Whether it was the shock or some unspoken fear…. Maren couldn’t say. But now that the issue had come and gone, it hit Maren at what a different side to Elsa she just witnessed. The ice within the woman had just been so unmanageable, as if it had been begging for a way to come out. Somehow, no matter how many similar situations in the past may have arisen, this was the particular thing to unleash those shards. Maren wouldn’t go so far as to describe it as terrifying, but to know Elsa became a vastly different woman…. There were no words.

Maren only prayed that she somehow never found herself on the other end of those shards. Nor that she would ever be the cause for such a reaction from Elsa.

“Maren, if you could, please put back these perishables. You can take your break when you’re done. I’ll open up if it gets too busy.”

And just like that her voice returned to normal. No longer was the natural icy tone in her voice used as a weapon. The natural airy quality returned to Elsa’s voice and her look almost softened again. It was almost as if nothing happened.

But something did happen. And it irked Maren to no end. Over and over again she replayed that distinctive inflection of Elsa’s voice in her head. Icy and cold were adjectives often used to describe her and, while accurate, they were not used with any ill intent. They were simply things that made Elsa who she was. But that? The interaction Maren witnessed? It was….

How far did someone have to go to push Elsa to those limits? To almost feel the need to transform herself into a weapon? The customer had been frustrating to say the least, yes. But he wasn’t a threat. Maren would have never let that happen. If there were any way possible, she wouldn’t let someone talk about Elsa that way again.

Maren _despised_ concealing.

Once everything in the cart had been returned to their rightful locations, Maren cautiously approached the service desk. She kept herself a few steps away from the side, not allowing herself to lean on it again. She couldn’t fully bring herself to interact with Elsa right away. And now she was so focused on writing something again, eyes darting back and forth between some items in a bag to her right and a sheet of paper in front of her. It wasn’t that Maren was worried about pissing her off; she just couldn’t seem to fight off the guilt. It was her fault that whole mess happened after all, because she couldn’t seem to give the guy a satisfactory answer.

Suddenly, Elsa’s hand froze. In the same second her head darted up and her eyes fell on Maren. “Is everything alright?”

Maren nearly jolted back. How long did she see her there…? “I…uh…. Not long.” Oh wait, that wasn’t what she asked. “I, I mean…yeah. I just…” She rubbed the back of her head. “I finished putting everything away. Just…wanted to check to see if I should do anything else. But I didn’t wanna interrupt.”

Elsa shook her head. “You wouldn’t have been.”

“It just looked like you were in the middle of something,” Maren observed.

“Oh.” Elsa shrugged and set the pen down. “I was just keeping a record of these items. Someone left them behind at self scan. This way if they’re not claimed by the end of the day and the customer returns tomorrow, we’ll know exactly what they need to get.”

“Efficient,” she complimented.

Elsa scrunched her nose. “Actually it’s just protocol.” She shook her head. “Anyway, you can take your break now if you’d like.”

“Sure. I guess I can do that,” Maren shrugged. She pulled her lip to the side. “Um…do I have to take it in the break room? Or…?”

“Some choose to sit outside or in their car, if you prefer,” she offered.

That wasn’t quite what Maren had in mind. “Actually…. Is there anything wrong with me just…I don’t know…? Chilling here for fifteen minutes?”

Elsa blinked. A lull followed. “H…here? By the desk…?”

“Oh! Only if you’re ok with it,” Maren added quickly. “You know, if…if you wanted company or…or something.”

Crap. Now she was getting nervous again. There was no need to. It was Elsa. Maren had no reason to be awkward around her. Sure, Elsa could be awkward in some moments; certainly there would be nothing wrong with Maren mirroring that. Still, acting that way because of some bad encounter? That was just stupid.

Elsa brought her eyes to the side, in the direction of the groceries. Of course she wouldn’t want to look Maren’s way after that. “I…. If…you wanted to. I see no harm….”

Merely giving a nod, Maren took a few steps back. She returned to her register, grabbing her water bottle and snack from underneath. She returned to the side of the desk, setting them close enough to the edge so they remained out of Elsa’s way. Maren opened her water first, tapping her fingers against the bottle before taking a long sip. Her eyes darted to her supervisor briefly, watching her finishing writing. What to do no, what to do now…?

Swallowing Maren set her water down and then removed her gloves. She sanitized her hands and then reached for her snack, a cup of Cocoa Puffs. She placed a piece of the cereal in her mouth, chewing slowly. Ok…. Now what?

Her eyes fell on Elsa again. She seemed to be moving slower now, as if to pass the time. Was it a mistake to stand there next to her? To just seemingly waste her break like that? No, Maren didn’t want to think so. It wasn’t like Elsa could actually attack her with ice or something. Gulping, Maren held out the cup to her.

“Hungry?”

There was a pause. Maren mentally scolded herself. Was that really the best she could come up with? She had fifteen minutes to stand next to Elsa, might as well have had the freedom to say almost anything she wanted, and what did she come up with? 'Hungry?' Not even 'are you hungry?' Or 'want some cereal?' Just 'hungry?' Idiot, she thought to herself.

Much to her surprise, Elsa responded with a soft “thank you.” Blinking, Maren turned her head towards her boss. Elsa gently removed her gloves and then a small bottle of hand sanitizer from her vest pocket. She rubbed her hands together, the faintest scent emitting from them, before she reached her fingertips into the cup and removed only a few pieces of cereal.

Maren raised an eyebrow. “Is that sweet pea?”

Elsa froze. Was that a blush spread across her cheeks? The blonde pursed her lips before closing her eyes. “My sister is a hoarder,” she muttered before placing a puff in her mouth.

“She’s got a thing for Bath and Body Works, too, huh?” Maren inquired.

Elsa swallowed. “I think it’s a combination of a thing and an issue of saying no. She never wants to disappoint the associates by turning down their suggestions. Anna is the kind of person who wants to please everyone.” She picked up another piece. “I did not take you for a Bath and Body Works connoisseur.”

The shorter woman scoffed. “Please! I’m just the sucker who gets dragged there by her brother.”

The blonde blinked. “Really?”

Maren shrugged. “He works with animals so he got into the habit quickly.”

“I usually let my sister pick out the scents. When you’re around this many people at once, the scent doesn’t matter nearly as much as simply having something. Before this whole thing started we would always see people coughing or sneezing onto the belt or licking their finger before flipping through their money…there was no way to know if anyone even washed their hands,” Elsa explained. “I’d rather have hand sanitizer as an attempt to protect myself than wear gloves all the time.”

“They’re so restrictive. I don’t know how the hell you can count money with these things,” she shook her head. “I’ll take them over some of the scents though. I mean, who in their right mind thought vanilla makes a good one?”

“I know, right?” Elsa agreed. “Everyone always pushes vanilla or vanilla bean…. Somehow it seems to be everywhere.”

“Why can’t they just make a chocolate scent?”

“My thoughts exactly.”

“Whoever finally decides to sell chocolate scented hand sanitizer or candles is gonna be a millionaire.”

“Maybe you should try it.”

“Pft. That sounds like it involves a lot of science and stuff. Hard pass.”

She and Elsa shared a laugh. This was nice, having a simple conversation with her. Things felt at peace again. The threat of ice or annoying customers was all but gone. It was only the bustling of customers on the open registers as well as the constant voice of self scan in the background.

And to think, everything seemed to be running so smoothly because of Elsa.

Oh, Oaken deserved plenty of credit as well. He was one of the guys who just opened, started, and ran the whole operation. Without Oaken there wouldn’t be any store for them to work at.

But knowing how much time and effort Elsa put into this position, how she went out of her way to back up her coworkers, watching her stand behind customer service like it was some sort of throne…. The woman deserved so much more than what she was getting. And she also deserved to know how much she was appreciated.

“Hey, uh…” Maren tapped her fingers against the cereal cup, “thanks, by the way.”

“Oh…” Elsa shook her head. “No need to thank me every time I intervene with a customer.”

“No…. Well…ok, yeah, thanks for that,” she replied. “I meant…just thanks. In general. For everything you do around here. You’re doing an amazing job, Elsa.”

Elsa’s gaze wavered. “I’m doing exactly what I’m supposed to. No thanks are necessary.”

There she went again. Brushing off another damn compliment. Why was it so difficult for her to accept praise for once?

“No, they are. You don’t get enough credit for what you’re doing around here. Especially with that last guy. You went above and beyond to get him answers and all he could do was complain. Not even a damn thank you.” Maren paused. She wouldn’t dare repeat half the stuff the customer said to her. About doubting Elsa. About putting her down. About being frustrated by her. None of that was Elsa. Nor did she need to hear any of it. She could only imagine how many times customers talked about an associate behind their back. Even if Elsa was used to it by now or knew to expect it, it didn’t mean she needed to know any specifics. Nor did it mean they were true at all. But how could Maren even begin to praise Elsa? With more than just a thank you?

Maren wasn’t usually one to swallow her pride. But in this case, she would make an exception. “You handled it way better than I would have, that’s for sure. I know you joke that I’d punch someone but…that was someone who actually would’ve had it coming.”

Elsa sucked in her lips. “You pick up how to deal with people like that after a few years. I wish I could say it gets easier.”

“Yeah but you made it seem like it was nothing. I mean…” she moved her hands back and forth as if it were supposed to emphasize something, “that whole conceal don’t feel thing…man that really works like a charm. I thought I was gonna explode doing that. You do that and it’s like you’ve been doing this all your life or something.”

When Maren brought herself to look at Elsa fully, she was a bit surprised at the reaction. Her face fell. There was almost something regretful about the look in Elsa’s eyes. Her gaze was down. Her hands were now empty and against the desktop, fingers half curled into her palms. There was a slight hunch in her posture, almost as if something kicked her. Maren furrowed her brows at the sight. Was it something she said?

“Elsa…?”

“I’m sorry.”

Maren’s eyes fluttered. “Wait, what? Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything.”

“No. I did.”

Her response was curt. There wasn’t sharpness to her voice, but the frozen wall was certainly rising again. Her eyes slammed shut before opening again, refusing to look to the brunette standing to her left. Her gaze narrowed, eyes moving rapidly behind the half-closed lids similarly to gears. A sore spot or something had been hit and now it was a matter of how to react.

“I don’t understand…” Maren said, puzzled.

Elsa exhaled. “I should not have given you the advice I did. ‘Conceal, don’t feel.’ That was wrong of me.”

That helped not at all. “Ok you’re gonna have to be more specific than that. You lost me.”

Elsa clicked her tongue. Her fingers began tapping against the desk, moving in tandem with the pace of her eyes. The woman had to have been using some sort of equation to figure this out. That’s what people did in chemistry, right? Use some kind of formulas to figure crap out?

Whatever, that’s what Maren was going with.

“I had no right to tell you that. It…it likely hindered me more than anything growing up. Maybe sometimes in this setting the idea does apply but….” Elsa hung her head for a moment. She slowly brought it back to Maren, though waited another minute before speaking again. “I was taught that as…as a way of showing no weakness. If I conceal any insecurities, any thoughts or fears, they cannot be used against me. But that does not make it helpful. Nor is it right. The reasons for us both following the mantra may be different but…. But I believe it is not something you should ever feel the need to follow. You react. Every time something presents itself you do not hold back. To an extent…yes, on the job you should absolutely hold back. But to force restriction on yourself? To hold yourself back with the chains of four simple words? That isn’t you, Maren. You should never have to hide a part of who you are. Not in here and not out there. I…” She cut herself off, biting her lips. Maren tilted her head curiously in response. She did not force Elsa to continue; that was up to Elsa to decide how much she wanted to divulge. “I’ve had to do that too much for too long. And as long as I have a say I don’t want anyone else to feel that way.”

That didn’t help explain everything as much as Maren hoped it would. All she was able to interpret from Elsa’s description was that, even though she shared the mantra with the best of intentions, she feared she ultimately caused Maren distress the way she once felt before. Or…multiple times before.

Maren vaguely recalled Elsa mentioning her father had owned a company, and that in his death Elsa had to step in and control everything. Could that have been where it came from? Was it originally meant to help Elsa take control over the company? To protect herself as a businesswoman? Or could there have been another reason? Something that hadn’t been hinted to Maren at all?

Whatever the case, it wasn’t her place to ask. Nor was Maren going to force Elsa to share more than she was willing. It appeared to have taken a lot to share anything already. It would not have been fair to expect more.

“So what you’re saying is, you want me to forget that rule,” Maren surmised.

“We should probably both forget that rule,” Elsa confessed. She ran her hands over each other momentarily. “But it is easier said than done.”

“Hey.” Maren’s voice seemed to break Elsa’s focus off her hands. “You don’t have to apologize for that. Or for making me think I have to be a certain way. I know I got stuff to work on. We all do. But you don’t have to worry about me feeling like I have to hide or change who I am. I never really felt that way before and I’m sure as hell not starting now.”

“Heh. I sure could use some of that confidence once in a while,” Elsa admitted.

“Well if you ever wanna talk sometime, I don’t mind sharing some of it,” Maren offered. She set her cereal down and then stretched her arms over her head and then her back. Once they rested behind her, Maren swung back and forth on her heels slightly. There was hardly a moment to process what she was going to say next before it escaped her lips. Not could she have begun to imagine the onslaught of thoughts that would plague her mind.

“Besides. You telling me all that just means you like me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well i do believe Elsa's a-s just got handed to her! The only question is, did Maren mean Elsa likes her as a person or likes her as in _likes_ her? Unfortunately that is not an answer for today! Maren doesn't seem like the kind of person to follow Elsa's whole conceal don't feel thing. And even though we all basically have to conceal when we deal with annoying customers, sometimes it's easier than others. It seemed like good inspiration to push Maren's limits and also inch her just a little bit closer to Elsa. 
> 
> As far as the customer goes, it's almost completely based off a real experience. While my store wasn't taking rain checks I had a customer who was insisting up and down he should be able to use his. And in a shift earlier that week i had a different customer attempting to use rain checks and between me, my supervisor, and my manager all trying to put it through, it resulted in redoing the transaction multiple times and ultimately causing an issue with the register. So i had a feeling after that rain checks were not being accepted. So this guy talked to me. He talked to my supervisor. He made my supervisor call the manager on shift. Supervisor came back saying what the manager told her. He wanted to talk to the manager in person. Ended up getting into an argument with the manager because the manager he talked to the time before let him use rain checks and kept asking where that guy was so he could use them. Even though we were all telling him the exact same thing and went to all these lengths to prove our point and stick to our policy, nothing was good enough, He ended up buying some of his items, just not the rain checked items; but as far as slamming the wagon and nearly breaking something? That's based off an incident one of my coworkers told me about from years ago. Long story short, he was continuing to shop even after the multiple announcements of the store closing and being closed, got called out by my coworker, the supervisor, and the overnight manager, and proceeded to push his wagon down the aisle so hard he knocked over a display of glass items and stormed out before the cops showed up. Yeah, he had caused that much of an issue and scene for the employees.
> 
> When we deal with customers who keep putting up a fight because they don't get their way, a lot of times it's taken out on us or we're made to act like we're not doing our job. And when the person in charge takes over, they either back us up or give into the customer just to shut them up and because it'll make them get the hell out of the store already. Elsa doesn't seem like the kind of person to be taken advantage of like that. When she's in queen mode, she acts like a damn queen. And just like she cares about and prioritizes her people in cannon, she does any and everything she can to back up her coworkers here. I can only imagine what it's like for a supervisor to deal with that in the moment and have that kind of power and executive decision making. And, especially for the ones younger than me who don't take that kind of crap from customers and know that us, the employees are right over the customer and back us up, i have so much respect for them and have no idea how they do it. So the same way i sometimes have to see that side to my coworkers, even f they're the nicest people to me, Maren got the same taste with Elsa here. But at least they still had a moment so...yay? 
> 
> I'll be back on my next day off with another update. Make sure you're comfortable before you read it though, cause it's gonna be a long one! As usual, thank you guys so much for reading and leaving any comments or kudos, and for taking the time to let yourselves be trapped in the hellhole that is my life. Hang in there everyone! <3


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you made yourselves comfortable because this is gonna be a long chapter! I won't make you guys wait too long so i'll just jump right into the comments.  
> @MLauren - M&Ms make everything better and are also my personal weakness. Chocolate is one of the few reoccurring themes in this story! I can't believe you stayed up through part of the night binging my story. I never think much of my writing (or my artwork for that matter) and i definitely did not expect much from writing a retail story of all things so to hear that feels like such an insane compliment to me, so thank you so much! As far as Elsa goes, i can't say for sure how much of her moving in and out of regality is totally planned/intentional and how much of it is purely because of the job. The slow burn is going to continue for quite some time so i make no promises of how soon Elsa willingly reacts on anything but i promise there will be plenty of banter and awkwardness. I'm so glad you're enjoying this; i've enjoyed reading your fics as well! :)  
> @fanficfruitts - How about now for a new chapter? lol. As tempting as it is to post multiples at once or maybe mix it up and do three updates once in a while instead of two, i just wanna make sure i have enough material for a bit so you guys aren't kept waiting too long. Also it helps me make sure i stay on target and keep writing XD Hope you enjoy this chapter, too!  
> @Ravrav - I'm really glad you think i'm keeping all the characters in cannon and not just Elsa and Maren. As much as i remind myself that it's about finding the right balance between cannon and this universe, sometimes i worry that i go a bit off track but hearing that makes me feel better and realize maybe i'm just overthinking so thank you so much for that :) It's also tricky to find a good balance of the crew and just Elsa and Maren since it is Elsamaren's story, but the crew is just as essential as the jobs. I wish i could say there's a lot of thought being put into Elsa's psychology but my bigger focus is always the emotions behind everything and how certain events or things or people being out certain feelings. So i just hope that the more that does get revealed about Elsa, the more sense she makes and that everything comes together in a believable enough manner. Confession - most of the horrible customers, save for the first one, i had no imagery of what character they might represent; but the horror story my coworker experienced this past week that i'm debating if i should add eventually or not might definitely end of being a Weastletown i mean Weaselton because from what i heard of it he fits the description PERFECT. So we'll see how that goes. Thank you for that push to consider it even more now! 0=)  
> @coldname - Oh there's plenty more retail stories where that came from! I never realized how much writing material i had for this until now which is both good and sad. It's going to be a slow process for Elsa because some things are so hard to unlearn, but even if it takes her time she just wants to make sure Maren doesn't fall victim to the mantra like she has or it affects her negatively. That darn Elsa always having to think of other people first, right! As for Elsa trying to figure out if this is even a crush she has... No, maybe it's too early to confirm or deny that lol. Unless it's totally obvious. Or is it...? Maybe this chapter will help! Glad you're enjoying as always!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading, for leaving the kudos and any comments. It's been a while since i've written much of anything outside of roleplaying (yes i'm a nerd) but not only does it feel good for me to write characters i enjoy so much and a story i relate to which gives me such a great outlet for work and the stress that comes with it, but it also feels amazing to see people genuinely enjoying this and wanting to read more which makes me want to write more. So thank you guys so much for that, i can't tell you what that means to me! And a Happy Pride Month to all! :)  
> (Also i apologize in advance for anyone who actually puts up with sitting through reading my end notes, there may be a lot to unpack at the end of this chapter!)

This was nice. The pace of the store was steady. The customers weren’t on top of each other. There was no shouting over one another. There were no floods of people. Elsa wouldn’t go so far as to describe it as slow, but at least it wasn’t a madhouse.

Oh shit now she could hear Fred in her head chanting, 'it’s a madhouse after all' to the tune of It’s a Small World. Dammit Fred.

Elsa shook her head. She answered the phone when it rang. Another customer asking if the store had toilet paper in stock. And when the store closed. The latter should have been obvious; Elsa didn’t think most places stayed open past eight anymore. It felt reminiscent of when she closed on holidays. She’d have to answer the phone with the greeting, “thank you for calling Oaken’s, we’re open until five.”

Once she finished with the customer, Elsa’s attention returned to her surroundings. Self scan was manageable, courtesy of Nani. Ella, Snow, and Maren were all on register, and Fred was…somewhere. Elsa pondered if now would be a good time to send Maren to self scan to continue her training with Nani. But what were the odds when she did that that would be when it became busy again? It wasn’t even like she could talk to Maren while she was watching self scan with Nani. Not that Elsa wanted to spend her shift talking with Maren. Well…she did; that wouldn’t be wrong. But it didn’t mean anything; Maren was just a coworker! Just like everyone else. There was no special thoughts or treatment whatsoever. Why would anyone have an idea like that? Certainly not Elsa! There was nothing. No. Thing. End of story. Elsa was going to push those thoughts out of her head.

“ELSAELSAELSAELSAELSAELSAELSA!”

Or not…?

Wait, that sounded like Anna.

Anna?

Lifting her head, Elsa’s eyes darted back and forth around the store. Not wasting any time, she walked out from behind the service desk. She placed one hand on the desktop, continuing to look around. She wasn’t going crazy, was she? She definitely heard Anna, right? After all, who else would scream her name multiple times in one breath?

“ELSAELSAELSAELSAELSAELSAELSA!”

The next thing she knew, something tackled her from behind. A pair of arms secured themselves tightly around her waist and immediately she felt a surge of warmth against her back.

“Elsa oh my god I missed you so much!”

The blonde was barely able to arch her back in shock let alone remotely think about pushing the mystery person off of her before the voice confirmed it was her sister. Rolling her eyes slightly, Elsa gently pushed Anna’s arms down and away from her before turning around.

“Anna what are you doing? Six foot rule, remember?”

Anna puffed out her cheeks. “Really, Elsa? That’s the first greeting you give me? I haven’t seen you in months and your first reaction is that?”

Elsa sighed. “First of all it hasn’t been _that_ long.” Still, she couldn’t deny that Anna was right. Elsa should be thrilled to see her sister. Anna’s week in self-quarantine officially ended last night and her first thought was to see her sister. The time or location didn’t matter. Elsa could have been in Norway for all Anna knew and she’d still find a way to see her as soon as she could. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to shut you out again. I’m just trying to protect you.” Yet as soon as the gentle tone escaped her, it automatically shifted to more of a scolding. “But you really should have waited to come out here. Do you know how risky it can be to be in a store now?”

“Hey, quarantining was torture ok? I was trapped inside; I couldn’t go out for a run or open my window…” she counted off her fingers.

“You could have definitely opened your window,” Elsa corrected.

Anna ignored the comment and continued. “I couldn’t go buy anything, I couldn’t take Sven for a walk, I can’t go out on a date, I couldn’t even talk to you outside your own door! Why the hell do you torment yourself every day choosing to avoid people? I could barely even do it for a week. It was the _worst_! All I had was Kristoff and let me tell you, he was projecting his Sven Voice waaaaay too much!”

Elsa let out a giggle. “Hey you’re the one who picked him.”

She held up a hand. “Ok first of all, you introduced me to him. And second, that was before this whole pandemic thing hit and I realized I’d be stuck with only him for who knows how long.” Anna did her best to maintain a straight face, though it ended up lasting for only a few seconds. The woman simply had too much light and energy in her to hold back. Unlike Elsa who could keep herself still for as long as necessary, Anna didn’t have that kind of restraint. A smile quickly grew across her freckled face. “But I love him anyway.”

“It’s good to have you back, sis.” Even though Elsa said it with her usual grace and calmness, she also spoke with sincerity. She and Anna were two sides of the same coin. They shared a few similarities, but they were also very different people. Their opposing sides certainly clashed at times, but Elsa wouldn’t trade Anna for anything in the world.

Anna clapped her fists together eagerly. “And now I get to see you in action at your job! Oooooo this is so exciting!”

Elsa shook her head. “Anna, it’s just retail.”

“Uh yeah, but it’s retail that you totally kick ass at,” the redhead pointed out.

“Say it a little louder, maybe she’ll actually listen for once,” Nani commented as she left one of the self scans.

“Nani!” Anna exclaimed running over to her. “It’s so good to see you again!” She opened her arms, ready to tackle the woman in a hug, but then quickly took a step back. “Oh wait…are we allowed to hug? Should we not…?”

Nani held up a hand. “Still not a hugger, Anna.” She then folded her arms. “So the prodigal sister returns.”

Coworkers in retail were funny things. They could last for as short as a few weeks, they could last a few years, or they could last forever. Elsa was sure that if she was still on an earlier shift and Anna visited, the younger could certainly point out a few familiar faces. Anna knew them by name and description but hardly had the opportunity to actually interact with them. For some the opportunity was more torture than anything, obviously. Nani, however, started working around the same time as Elsa did. Originally Elsa would work earlier in the day and in the late afternoon Nani would take over self scan for her. Elsa could still recall the instances in which she and Anna had to share a car and Anna would be the one picking Elsa up from work after her classes; Anna could come into the store, tackle Elsa in a hug, maybe buy a snack or something, exchange pleasantries with Nani, and be on her way. Elsa had commented to Anna in the past that her sister would love her coworkers. The reality was, Anna simply loved almost everyone.

“It’s good to see you, too, Nani,” Anna smiled. “How’s Lilo?”

“Disappointed she can’t see her masterpieces of photographs right now,” Nani shrugged. “But I do get it. It’s her only outlet right now since school and dance classes were canceled.”

“I know. Some of my students are going so stir crazy, you can see them falling asleep on the iPad screens,” Anna nodded.

Elsa scoffed lightly. “Your students?”

Anna folded her arms and huffed stubbornly. “Hey student teaching is still teaching. So yes, they are my students.”

“And you were the one complaining about no social interaction,” Elsa commented.

“It’s work, Elsa. It’s not the same,” Anna replied. “At least you get to see everyone face to face.”

“And fight the urge to punch some of them,” Elsa mumbled to herself.

Anna blinked. “What was that?”

Elsa’s eyes widened. Did she just say that out loud? Oh shit, she was starting to think like Maren! Or thinking about Maren? Or…whatever it was! It was something Elsa definitely shouldn’t be doing! “Nothing!” she blurted almost too quickly. Realizing her error, Elsa cleared her throat. “Just some stressful shifts is all.”

Nani smirked and raised an eyebrow teasingly. “Sure. That’s exactly what it is,” she commented sarcastically.

Elsa narrowed her gaze. “Nani.”

The bronzed woman waved her hand. “Whatever. Look, since it’s slow now why don’t you take a break? Spend some time with your sister? She came all the way. I‘ll watch the front and Maren can take over self scan.”

“I couldn’t do that to you,” Elsa shook her head. “She hasn’t watched it on her own yet, Fred’s not back yet, and if it starts picking up again…”

“Then I’ll handle it,” Nani promised. “C’mon girl, stop flaking out and actually have something of a life for once.”

“A life in a half hour?” Elsa replied sarcastically.

“Hey, a life is a life. Go,” she encouraged.

“Yeah, Elsa, come on! I’ve got a bag of chocolate pretzels in the car….” Anna tempted.

Elsa shook her head. Damn her and her weakness. “Alright, alright. I’ll give Maren the heads up.”

She turned away, leaving Anna and Nani to continue their conversation. Elsa approached register two towards the other end, fiddling with her fingertips as she walked. She was thankful, noticing as she closed in, that Maren was currently finishing with a customer. It gave Elsa a chance to gather her thoughts. She had to remind herself that Maren was just a coworker. That she was good at what she did. They had a good working relationship and they got along in general. Their interactions ranged from polite to playful. There was nothing going on with them. Nor was there any need for Elsa to overthink. There was no pressure for her to talk to Maren one on one. Everything was totally, completely, without a doubt normal between them.

Why she actually had to take the time to remind herself of that was a mystery.

Gulping, Elsa thought back to their conversation the other day.

_“_ _It just means you like me.”_

Why did that make Elsa nervous? Sure, she liked Maren. She liked working with her. She liked talking to her. She liked her as a person. That…that was all the statement meant. Reading too much into it might imply otherwise and that was not the case at all. Elsa hadn’t had this issue with any of her coworkers before, male or female. Why was it starting now? Maybe it was the virus situation. The changes, the craziness, the uncertainty of it all…. This had to have been how it was affecting her. All she had to do was remind herself once again that there was nothing between her and Maren.

Clasping her hands in front of her, she stood by register three and waited quietly until Maren finished with her customer. “Hey.”

Maren spun to her boss. “Oh hey,” she replied with a friendly smile. That damn, slightly crooked smile. “What’s up?”

Focus Elsa, focus. “How would you feel about relocating to self scan for a bit?”

“More training, huh?” Maren asked, leaning to shut off her light. “Yeah, I can do that.”

Elsa bit her tongue. “Actually it’s more of a solo round.”

The shorter woman blinked. “Wait, what?”

“Nani has offered to watch the store so I could take my lunch break,” she explained. “She needs someone to watch self scan in the interim. It hasn’t been too busy so if this pace keeps up you should be able to call her over if you have any issues. But now seems as good a time as any to see how you handle it on your own.”

Maren stared at her blankly. There was a pause. Finally, she shook her head. “Sorry, you lost me after ‘lunch break’. Who are you and what have you done with Elsa?”

Elsa blinked. “I…. I take my breaks.”

Maren narrowed her gaze.

Elsa sucked in her bottom lip. “Most of the time….”

A raised eyebrow.

“Usually….”

Arms folded.

Elsa groaned. This was getting them absolutely nowhere. Even if Maren was right to doubt Elsa’s statement…she was, wasn’t she?...that didn’t give her an excuse to lay on the guilt trip. “It’s to spend time with my sister, ok? Her self-quarantine just ended and she came to visit. It’s my first time since this whole mess started seeing her face to face.” She paused. “Also I’ll never hear the end of it if I turn down this break.”

Maren smirked and rested her arms to her side. “Well that definitely sounds like Elsa.” Grabbing her water, Maren exited her tiny section. “But if it’s for your sister I guess I can’t say no to that.”

“Well, also I’m your boss so since you are the only one who has any inkling of how self scan works, it’s not exactly an option to say no,” Elsa responded.

“Power-playing much?” Maren teased.

“I prefer the term honesty,” she corrected.

Maren gave a nod. She averted her gaze momentarily and bit her bottom lip. Was she thinking? What was there to be thinking about? Oh no, what did Elsa say this time?

“You do have a point. I guess sometimes…” Maren paused. Then she sighed. “I know you’re my boss. I’m sorry if I act differently.”

Elsa blinked. “You…you don’t?” Her answer, however, came out as more of a question. She shook her head. “No apologies are necessary. It’s my own fault for blurring the line. I just don’t want to be anything like Radcliffe. The way he runs everything…that’s not how I operate. I never want it to be that way.”

To that, Maren’s look softened. “Hey if it means anything coming from this newbie, I think you’re doing great. No comparisons needed.” She gave Elsa a smile before walking over to self scan.

Good thing her back was turned so Maren couldn’t see her sigh with relief. That was close. Once again Elsa almost found a way to screw up the conversation. Or turn it awkward. Why was she so terrible with people?

Oh, right. Introvert problems.

She shook her head. This wasn’t the time to dwell on that. She was long overdue for some sister time with Anna. Relaxing her shoulders, Elsa waited a few more seconds before following Maren. She stopped a bit short of self scan. Elsa watched as Nani handed her self scan card to the brunette, who in turn seemed to acknowledge Anna with a wave. Elsa thought she noticed Anna smile at her, but it was kind of hard to tell when she was staring at the back of her sister’s head. Anna then focused on Snow, who had taken the few steps away from the comfort of register six to chat with the redhead better. Now with Anna’s profile in view, Elsa could see her sister smiling. Of course she would smile around Snow; who wouldn’t? Allowing a soft smile to cross her own face, Elsa approached the women.

Elsa had stepped in during one of Snow’s statements but managed to catch the end of it. “…Elsa talks about you all the time.”

Anna’s smile grew and she clapped her fists. “Awwww she does?”

Elsa shook her head. “Please don’t go inflating Anna’s ego, Snow.”

Anna brushed off the comment. “Oh she’s just being honest. Keep going, Snow!”

To that, the teen giggled. “It’s only because she adores you so much. I can see why. You fill her world with sunshine.”

“Ugh, it’s so painfully sweet,” Nani asserted with sarcasm.

Maren shook her head and stepped back over as Nani walked away. “Don’t pay attention to her. She’s just being cynical.”

“Heard that!” Nani yelled back.

Elsa attempted to hold back a laugh. “Be careful what you say, Maren. Nani is the one training you after all.”

“Pft. I’m not scared of Nani. I can take her.” Maren smirked and flexed her arm for emphasis.

“Oooo, my money’s on the new girl,” Anna whispered.

“There are no bets happening here,” Elsa clarified.

“Speak for yourself, I got one already going on with Nani,” Maren said. “Like I said, I can take her.”

“You are not encouraging gambling in front of my sister,” Elsa commented.

“They don’t mean anything by it. They’re just having fun,” Snow observed.

“Yeah and besides, Snow’s smart enough to know not to mimic everything I say or do. Like we said, she’s gonna grow up to be a badass. She can handle it,” Maren agreed.

“I think you are missing the point.”

“I think you’re just being overprotective.”

“Someone has to be.”

“You can have fun, too, you know.”

“And we can do that just fine without gambling.”

“It’s just a joke, Elsa. We’re goofing.”

“I think you both make a wonderful team.”

“Snow!”

“Snow!”

“You both compliment each other very well.”

“I hope so. That’s kinda what we signed up for, isn’t it?”

“Exactly!”

“What am I going to do with you two?”

“Absolutely nothing. You’re stuck with us for the long haul.”

“Wait a second, wait a second.”

Elsa turned to face her sister, caught off guard by her sudden input. How long had she been standing there? Listening to her and Maren taunt each other? Watching Snow giggle at it? Just watching them be…?

Oh shit.

“Anna….”

She attempted to take a step forward, but Anna replied by taking one back.

“What’s going on here…?”

Elsa felt a pit grow in her stomach. She didn’t like the sound of Anna’s voice. It was hesitant. Not quite shaky, but certainly suspicious. Like she was bracing herself for something. Why…?

Why did it suddenly feel like Elsa had been betraying Anna right in front of her?

And why was that the first thought that entered her mind?

“Anna I can explain….”

She attempted to reach out, but Anna pulled her arm into her chest. It hit painfully close to Elsa. Anna’s reaction…that was exactly what Elsa did all the time. It didn’t have to be in response to something negative or hurtful. Sometimes it was just a reaction. The first one she could think of. The one that felt most comfortable. So many times in the past it was how Elsa reacted to Anna. And now the tables have turned.

“Are…are you…? Is this…?” Anna stared at her sister, then looked at Maren and Snow before turning back to Elsa. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what was going on in Anna’s mind right now. And it was exactly what Elsa feared. Her initial thought was confirmed.

Anna did feel betrayed.

Letting out nothing more than a choked up gasp, Anna sped out of the store.

“Anna, wait!” Elsa called before chasing after her. She didn’t turn around to look at Snow or Maren. She didn’t bother to see their reactions or care to hear what they had to say. Her only focus now was on Anna. As it should have been all along. Like it always was. Before this whole mess happened. “Anna! Anna please…”

Her pace slowed as she stepped out of the store. Anna stood under the awning with her back facing Elsa. She stood scrunched up, but even staring at her back Elsa could see the hurt that had begun to eat her up. Elsa stopped a few paces behind Anna. She attempted to reach out again, but was cut off.

“What was that in there?”

Her tone was harsh. Elsa had rarely heard Anna snap before. In the few instances it had happened, it was in someone’s defense. Primarily Elsa’s. She used that tone to defend Elsa when anyone dared to put her down. When she heard the way someone spoke to Elsa, even if only through a story. When Elsa made a decision about their father’s company. When she heard stories of Radcliffe. Even the first time Nani jokingly referred to Elsa as the Snow Queen. Not once, even when Anna was angry with Elsa, had something so sharp ever been directed at her.

“Anna please let me explain….” Elsa tried softly.

Shaking her head, Anna spun around to face her. Her mouth was turned down, her eyes appeared watery, and still she kept a hand guarding her chest. Specifically, her heart. “Explain what? How you had your own little inside jokes? How you were teasing Maren? How Snow looked at you like you were the greatest thing ever?” A brief pause. “Ok, she’s not exactly wrong…” The admission was quiet, almost barely audible before Anna shook her head and raised her voice again. “But that’s not the point! The point is you’ve never been like that with anyone before! Ever! Not Mother or Father or anyone in our family, not any classmates or friends…. What…what did you do? Run off and start your own little family without me?”

Elsa resented so much in that statement. She resented the way Anna interpreted the treatment of their parents. No, they hadn’t been perfect, and yes, Elsa had her own personal issues with them. But it didn’t mean she never loved them. It didn’t mean she wanted to have constant battles with herself after their deaths, feeling conflicting emotions battle each other day in and day out for dominance about how she should grieve them or how to react about anything. She resented that Anna believed Elsa thought less of their family somehow. Maybe their family wasn’t huge and maybe everyone was different. Maybe even if they were blood related Elsa struggled to get close to people. But it didn’t mean she didn’t care. It didn’t mean that even on the faintest level she didn’t enjoy going out to have a girls’ night with Anna and Rapunzel. She resented the fact that Anna thought Elsa was ever close with any of her classmates or that she even had friends. Elsa couldn’t recall a time when she felt close enough to anyone to call them her friend. Peers, yes. Acquaintances, yes. And yes, some she did tolerate more than others.

But most of all she resented the fact that Anna was right. There was no arguing with her on that. It wasn’t even a full week ago that Maren and Elsa agreed to basically adopt Snow as their sister. Maren didn’t think twice about offering; she just did. Granted, Elsa didn’t have to agree. Hell, in any other circumstance she most likely would have turned the offer down flat. She had her sister; she had Anna. That was more than enough. Elsa didn’t need any other family. But Snow…and Maren…. They just clicked. Snow did look at Elsa with admiration. More so with Maren, Elsa believed. But she’d be lying if she said she didn’t see Snow light up every interaction since. Even if Elsa only had time to say hello or acknowledge Snow with a wave of her hand, Snow just looked instantly happier and at ease. And Maren…oh god, where to even start with Maren? Elsa wished she knew. She insisted there was nothing between them. She’d swear on Bruni that there was nothing between them. They were just coworkers. They were just Snow’s sisters. But….

But somehow the world felt more complete with Maren in it. Elsa felt more at ease when she saw the woman working with her. She felt like the store was in better hands with Maren around. Perhaps sometimes the teasing did annoy her but…but she also reveled in it. She thrived in it. For once, someone didn’t look at Elsa like she was the woman in charge or like she was a nerd or that she was different. To Maren, Elsa was just…Elsa. There was something so freeing about that realization. That feeling.

How could Elsa stand there and convince Anna she was wrong when in fact she couldn’t be more right? That, despite Elsa’s assumptions and best attempts, somehow she really did form a little family at Oaken’s?

Elsa’s gaze fell. She couldn’t bear to look her sister in the eyes now. “I’m sorry Anna….”

There was a long pause before Anna’s voice choked out again.

“How long?”

Elsa shut her eyes tight. “Not even a week….”

“Seriously Elsa??”

Ok, the scream was just as bad as the tremble.

“I was basically gone for a week and you already replaced me??”

“That’s not how it is. I would never!” Elsa insisted, though her still avoiding eye contact said differently.

“Elsa!”

The blonde’s head shot up. “Anna I would never! That was not my intention! Of course I would never replace you! I love you more than anyone or anything!”

“Then why couldn’t you just tell me?”

“And say what?”

“Oh, I don’t know! ‘Guess what Anna, you have two more sisters, wanna come to Oaken’s and meet them?’”

“It’s one sister…”

“Oh, that makes it SO much better!”

“What do you want me to say, Anna?”

“Maybe why? Why you couldn’t tell me?”

“Well there is your current reaction.”

“Because you shut me out! Again!”

“I didn’t mean to!”

“You promised, Elsa! You promised you’d never do that again! What happened? What changed? What are…are you suddenly sick of me? Did you want a different sister?”

“Of course not!”

“Then what, Elsa? Why? How?”

Where should she even begin? That shift with Snow? The customer who practically had her running out in tears? The shift where Elsa actually acknowledged what a great team everyone was together? The first night she met Maren? When Maren even started working at Oaken’s? Would Elsa even begin to get her story straight?

Elsa wrapped her arms around herself as she thought. Her eyes opened again, but she still couldn’t look her sister in the eyes. Instead she stared out into the parking lot. She stared at the cars in the lot. She stared at the garbage that littered the concrete. She stared at the cars driving by on the road. She stared at the store across the street. She stared at a group of three across the lot, keeping their distance while seeming to chat with each other. One was clearly speaking, another fiddling on their phone, and the third reacting with hand motions.

It was funny, what a mess all that looked like. Elsa shouldn’t have been able to so easily count the parked cars. The friends shouldn’t have had to stand so apart from each other. The litter shouldn’t have included gloves or face masks. There should have been more cars on the road. And yet by some odd twist of fate, the Covid-19 crisis changed everything not just about the world, but also about Elsa. If the pandemic hadn’t hit, Maren wouldn’t have been searching for jobs right now. She wouldn’t have started working at Oaken’s. She wouldn’t have somehow brought Elsa closer to her coworkers. None of them would have formed the comfort or even bond with each other that they did.

So instead of explaining the whole story, Elsa opted to focus on that aspect.

“Did you know this is the first time we’ve had this argument?”

She could feel Anna’s puzzled stare poking through her back. “What do you mean?”

“Every time we’ve had this conversation. You’d ask me why I don’t go out. Why I don’t try to meet people. You look at me and…of course you accept my answer…but you still wonder why. You look at me and ask how I can be so different from you,” she explained.

“That’s not what I do at all.” A footstep indicated Anna closed the gap between them slightly. “Of course you’re different from me, Elsa. I don’t expect us to be carbon copies of each other. I just….” She hesitated. “I guess I just don’t understand. How you’re so ok with being on your own. Why you can’t even begin to imagine it any other way. You’re allowed to have your own friends, Elsa. Your own life. I don’t have to be the only one you can lean on. You’re absolutely allowed to put your faith in other people, too.”

“Isn’t that what I’ve done? With them?” Elsa wondered.

“That’s work. It’s not the same,” Anna shook her head.

“Is it really?” she inquired. “I spend more time here than I do at home. I see the same people every day, seven days a week. I work with them. I talk to them. I trust them.”

“But do you trust them with work? Or do you trust them with _you_?”

It shouldn’t have been a complicated question. But for Elsa it was because her life was so tied into her job. No, she didn’t plan on working at Oaken’s forever. No, it was nothing at all like her dream job. But it was still a job. Elsa always put her work first. Work and Anna came before anything, even her own well-being. Elsa was so intertwined with her job that, in a way, if she trusted them with Oaken’s how could she not trust them with her? Except Elsa wasn’t just a manager or a CSDH or a supervisor. She wasn’t just a boss woman. She was Elsa. She had her own likes and dislikes, her own hopes and dreams, her own desires, and her own family. Her coworkers knew her as their colleague; they didn’t truly know her as Elsa.

“I trust them enough to spend this much time with them.”

“You’re just always so focused on your job. No matter what you do. You keep your personal life out of work but somehow work always becomes a part of your personal life. But there’s more to you than that, Elsa. There’s more to _life_ than that. It’s great that you get along with your coworkers but they don’t have to be the same as your actual friends.”

“I didn’t think they would be.”

“So what changed?”

There was the obvious answer. The painfully obvious one. And no, it wasn’t Covid-19. That may have been the catalyst that started it all, but there was one important factor it indirectly affected.

Maren.

Elsa had no idea how the hell it happened. Why Maren of all people brought this out. How one person could make such a drastic impact on her life. How she was somehow the one to officially bring everyone together.

But Elsa couldn’t admit that out loud. It felt…wrong, somehow. It felt wrong because Elsa was her superior and it also felt wrong because….

But that didn’t matter, did it? Because at the end of the day Elsa wouldn’t be enough. It wouldn’t be fair to devote her time like that. Not when she couldn’t give everything. Her job, however, she could give everything to.

“Snow and Maren lost their parents, too. There was this incident last week and…. Maybe it’s kinship or a sense of familiarity. I don’t think they’ll ever fully understand me. No one probably will. But with them…it’s enough. Anna, if you heard what Snow had to say about her family…” She paused to shake her head. “But it isn’t my place. I just know you would understand. She needs people like us. And in there and especially now, we need people like her. She kind of reminds me of you. Always looking for the best in people. Walking around with a smile on her face. Having this light shine out of her that she wants to share with everyone. Snow is not you, Anna. She will never be you, she will never be better than you, and she will never replace you. But maybe that’s just it. Maybe it’s because when I look at her I see you.”

That time, Elsa willed herself to look at Anna. The redhead’s face softened and her hand was still over her heart. But this time, it wasn’t laying flat on it as if to protect it. It looked like she was trying to grab it. Elsa’s words reached her. “Elsa….” Anna pulled in her lips. She couldn’t contain herself any longer. Letting out a gasp, she ran to her sister and wrapped her arms tight around her. Elsa felt herself relax into Anna’s embrace before returning the hug. As awkward as Elsa could be around other people and as uncomfortable as it was for her to think about physically reaching out to anyone else, she would always feel at home with Anna. She never felt more at ease than in the arms of her sister.

“Are you still angry with me?” she asked softly.

Anna exhaled into her shoulder. “How can I be mad at you when you’re always thinking of me?” She shook her head before pulling back ever so slightly. “I just…I just wish you would’ve told me. You don’t have to keep secrets from me. I’m not gonna rub this in your face. Well…ok, fine, I might rub it in a little. I mean, come on, it should not take you this long to actually connect with people! I thought I was gonna have to start looking into some kinda blind friendship dates for you or something!”

“Anna.”

“Oh, you know what I mean.” She took a breather. “I just hate being away from you all the time like this. Not really knowing what’s going on, not being able to see you, being completely out of the loop…. And maybe…I don’t know…. Maybe I got a little jealous, too. It’s always been the two of us, Elsa. Even with Kristoff, there’s still us. I’ve had you all to myself and suddenly thinking about sharing you with anyone else…. But I guess I have to get used to that now, huh?”

Elsa scrunched her nose. “Maybe. But it’s new for me, too, Anna. Snow actually went to hug me.”

Anna’s eyes widened. “WHAT??”

Elsa giggled. “Well, she tried…. I kind of blew that one.”

“I don’t think she’ll hold it against you. Snow seems like a really sweet person,” Anna noted.

“She is. And I think she’d love to have you around, too,” Elsa said.

“What about Maren?” the redhead inquired.

The elder blinked. “What about Maren?”

“I asked about both of them and you just went into this like, in depth description about Snow. But you didn’t really mention Maren even though you were totally having a moment in there,” she replied.

Elsa released Anna and took a step back. “There was no moment.”

“Pffft! Sure there was! You guys were all back and forth and she was being all tough and you were being so grounded but then she was teasing and you were teasing…”

“That’s not a moment, Anna. That’s completely normal.”

“What is normal, anyway?”

“I think you are looking too much into this. We established that Snow is my work sister because she reminds me of you.”

“Ok so then where’s Maren in all this?”

“She’s just the one who started it all.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Look, we just both happened to agree to be Snow’s sisters. That’s it.”

“So she’s your other half in all this.”

“Yes. Wait, what? No!”

“I knew it!”

“Anna!”

She folded her arms confidently and smirked at her older sister. “She’s totally your other half in this. The back and forth you do, that little smirky thing she did and the way you were holding back with her…. Yup. You were basically an old married couple.”

“Anna that is…!” Her arms flew forward, then up, then straight out, then stretched, then moved up again so her fingers nearly dug into her blonde locks. Finally, her fingers ran from her strands and across her forehead before flinging out in front of her and then ultimately ended with her hands on her hips. “Where the hell did you get an idea like that?”

Anna scoffed. “I mean it’s pretty obvious.”

It was obvious?

No.

No.

No no no no no no no!

It couldn’t be obvious because there was nothing to be obvious! There was nothing going on. There was nothing between Elsa and Maren. They were coworkers who got along and happened to be sharing a coworker sister.

Oh god that sounded not at all convincing.

“Elsa?”

Anna’s voice sounded muffled. It was simply too quiet against the screams of Elsa’s thoughts. Anna was wrong. Elsa was wrong. There wasn’t anything going on. There couldn’t be anything going on. There was a logical explanation. There was nothing. It wasn’t at all like….

“Elsa.”

Elsa’s arms retreated into her again. She could feel her legs shaking and her breath hitching. Why was this happening now? Why was anything happening now? There wasn’t anything, there wasn’t anything. Just…she had to focus; she had to focus on something else. Anything else but the fact that there was clearly, absolutely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, nothing between her and Maren!

“Elsa!”

Elsa squeaked. Her eyes widened and her body stiffened. Anna’s hands fell on Elsa’s shoulders, somehow pausing every one of the thoughts that were continuing to overwhelm Elsa. The next thing she knew, Elsa was being pushed down gently. Her legs caved beneath her and she slid down against the brick wall. The entire time Anna moved in sync with her. They remained at eye level and not once did Anna’s grip loosen from her.

“Elsa, stay with me, ok? Focus. Tell me three things you hear.”

“I…my….” She stammered.

“Not in your head. Out here,” Anna clarified. “What do you hear?”

“Y…you. I…I hear you…” she managed to get out.

“Ok. Good. What else?” she pushed.

“I…the….” Something else she heard, something else she heard….

_BEEP!_

Elsa squeaked again. Why were there always cars speeding past that light at the corner?

“The…the horn. There…there was a car horn….”

“Do you hear anything else?”

“I don’t know…”

“Just one more thing?”

“Did I say you?”

“Yes.”

“Ugh…I don’t know…customers, maybe? Inside? Are there…?”

“Probably. It’s close enough. Ok, now tell me two things you see.”

“Anna.”

“I know, it’s annoying. Just focus on the question.”

“No, I am looking right at you.”

“Oh…ok. Good. Anything else?”

Elsa shook her head. Her eyes fluttered a few times before being able to make out a few details behind her sister. Colors…rectangles…headlights…. Ugh. Headlights. “Cars,” she declared simply. “Ugh, there are still people here.”

“And now something you feel.”

“Besides a headache?”

“Yeah, probably.”

Elsa groaned. She threw her head back so it hit the bricks completely. She then pulled it back, flinching at the feel of some loose strands getting caught. “Oh! Damn brick wall!”

“I’ll take it!” Anna adjusted herself so she sat next to Elsa. She rested one palm against the gravel beneath her and wrapped her other arm around Elsa’s, fingers gently caressing her sister’s pale arm. “Do you need to breathe at all?”

“I think I need a new head,” Elsa sighed. She pulled her braid so it fell over her shoulder and onto her chest instead of being jammed between her back and the wall. She did, however, allow herself to take a few slow breaths.

In. And out.

In. And Out.

She was ok.

She was on her break. S

he had Anna with her.

In. And Out.

She was fine.

Anna’s brows furrowed. “Can I ask…? What was that about?”

Elsa averted her gaze. “Another chance at sister time ruined.”

“It’s not ruined. You’re my sister. I’ll take any time with you. Lunch, movies, work, panic attacks…. I don’t care what it is, Elsa. I just care about you,” Anna promised.

Elsa pulled her knees up. She leaned forward, elbows bent against them and her hands once again going into her hair. “What is wrong with me?”

“Nothing is wrong with you, Elsa,” she assured her. “That was my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”

“But if I wasn’t this way you wouldn’t have to…” she started.

Anna wouldn’t dare let her finish. “You’re exactly who you’re meant to be. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

Elsa slowly closed her eyes. “I’m always going to have to explain myself, Anna.” She steadily stretched out her legs again and sat up straighter, back flat against the bricks once again. “Why I react the way I do…. Why I am the way I am…. How I think…. What I feel….”

“You don’t owe anyone an answer,” Anna said.

“You say that because you don’t understand,” Elsa sighed.

“Then help me try to understand. Please,” she encouraged.

Every time Anna asked that, Elsa gave the same response. There was no way for Anna to understand. How could she? She wasn’t the older sibling. She couldn’t understand what it was like to basically put herself on hold. She couldn’t understand what it was like to have control of so much when she was still growing up. She couldn’t understand the conflicting emotions that came with loving her parents while also trying to love herself. She couldn’t understand how much effort some decisions took. She couldn’t understand what it was like to have questioning gazes thrown at her or judgmental looks. She couldn’t understand what it was like to not feel like enough.

Elsa tried not to think about their parents. She did love them, but every time she thought about her life with them or even about grieving them, she was reminded of what she had to hold back. When they passed, Elsa had to plan their funeral, take over their father’s company, keep Anna in school, somehow keep herself in school, learn about taxes and bills and mortgages and whatever the hell else most eighteen-year-olds shouldn’t have to worry about. It took so much effort and concentration for Elsa to be able to continue her schooling and even graduate college when there was so much to do. Every day when she went to work, customers would ask if Elsa was still in school or what she wanted to do with her life. They acted as if retail wasn’t a real job. As if Elsa wasn’t doing enough. As if she was failing her life somehow.

And then there was the real punch to the gut.

Anna was in a committed relationship with Kristoff.

Admittedly, yes Kristoff was bi. He wasn’t exactly vocal about the fact; it was up to him who knew. But Anna? Anna would never be questioned because she was a female in a relationship with a male. Even if the relationship was still technically queer, Anna would never be questioned about it. Elsa, on the other hand…. How the hell was she supposed to explain how her mind, heart, and body operated when it came to relationships? To even think about relationships? What did it matter if she never had the time or energy to devote to someone? But then again, what did it matter if…?

The truth was, Elsa wasn’t enough. No matter how much was on her plate, no matter what she did, and no matter who was in her life. No matter how hard she tried, she would never be enough.

“There’s nothing I can say or do to make you understand.”

It was the same answer every time, or at least something similar. And every time that was a punch to Anna’s gut. Elsa could tell by the hurt in her sister’s eyes. Anna wanted so much more for her. She wanted to be able to do and say anything to help her. But the sad reality was, there was nothing she could do.

“Is there anyone else who could?” Anna asked.

“I don’t think so,” she shook her head.

“What about Snow?”

“She has enough going on in her life. And I’m supposed to be the one looking out for her. I couldn’t burden her with anything.”

“And Maren?”

“Don’t go there, Anna.”

“I’m not saying you have to tell her everything. Or even anything. But you said it yourself. There’s a kinship there.”

“That’s all there is. There isn’t anything else. There _can’t_ be anything else.”

Anna bit her lip. “That’s…a lot of grey area there, Elsa.”

Elsa tilted her head towards her just a smidgen. “So what are you trying to tell me? Take a risk? Put myself out there? I work with these people, Anna. It took a lot to get to this point. I can’t mess it up.”

“You kind of already did take a risk. You started bonding with them and look where it got you. You actually seemed happy in there. And now that I know what’s going on, I think I’ll like seeing that from you. I just want everyone else to be able to see you the way I do. And it seems like they’re at least starting to,” she explained.

“You can’t guarantee that,” Elsa sighed.

“Maybe not. But look at it this way. They already took you in. They accept you as their work sister. They accept you as their leader. They trust you in there. And yeah, maybe trust in there looks different from trust out here. But it doesn’t mean that trust and acceptance can’t grow. And if they look at you any different or treat you different just because you’re being you, then they’re not worth it. And you can do better. But you’ll never know unless you keep trying.” Anna took a pause. At first Elsa thought it was an opportunity for Anna’s words to sink in. But when she felt her nails dig into her skin, she realized that wasn’t the case. Anna wasn’t finished yet.

“I just want you to know that no matter what happens or what they think, I’m so proud of you, Elsa. Because you tried. And for however long this is, you made some connections. So it means there’s hope. And no matter what happens at Oaken’s or wherever you go, you’ll always have me.”

How did Anna do that? Not even go from being angry or hurt or defensive to just comforting and open-minded. She was just somehow able to always focus on Elsa. And every time, every conversation they had, every snag they hit, every problem that came their way, and any bit of drama they had to deal with, Anna always made it perfectly clear that the most important thing to her was Elsa. No, Anna didn’t understand everything about her. She would probably never be able to fully understand. But it never once stopped her from accepting or loving Elsa. For that, she couldn’t have been more grateful.

With her thoughts now at peace, Elsa leaned to her side and allowed herself to fully relax against her sister. She felt Anna’s head tilt on top of hers and her arm release Elsa’s. Anna’s arm wrapped around to Elsa’s shoulder while Elsa reached across her lap to grab onto Anna’s free hand.

What Elsa wouldn’t give to be able to share this closeness with someone else. Sometimes she believed she didn’t deserve to have Anna accept and return it so willingly. By all accounts the person closest to Anna in this regard should have been Kristoff. Yet every time there was no competition. Nor was there any sense of jealousy or confusion. If anything, it was Elsa indulging in the comfort of the one person she knew she would always be able to get it from. The person who would always be by her side.

And the person who wouldn’t judge her for conversing with their pet.

“Promise me you won’t make Sven talk? I may have vented to him a little bit….”

Anna let out the faintest of snickers. “I won’t ask him anything. But I get the next session.”

“No I told you so’s?” she raised an eyebrow.

“Nope,” Anna grinned.

There was a pause. Elsa stared at her sister, doubting it could have been that easy. When the silence continued, the blonde pushed herself up off the ground. “Well then it’s best we head back in.”

“Sounds good,” she agreed as Elsa stepped through the doors. She was not too far ahead when she heard Anna cough very distinctively, “Told you so!”

Somehow Elsa was unsurprised at her sister’s antics and could only smirk. “Heard that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok there is A LOT to unpack here. First off this seemed like a good time to bring back Anna. Even though in retail things basically blur together like a giant inconsistent mess, the one thing i've been trying to keep track of in this story is the days. So since it was mentioned Anna would be self quarantining for a week and the week this chapter would have been up, the most logical explanation was for Anna to want to see her sister. Even if it was at work. And it was also the perfect opportunity to Elsa's secret work family to be busted. I went back and forth a few times with writing certain scenes because Anna could have reacted either way. While it's totally believable that Anna would simply be happy for her sister making connections and rubbing it in her face, Anna has also been used to not sharing Elsa with anyone so it's not totally unexpected for her to experience jealousy on some level. But the truth is, and maybe everyone looks at it a little differently, but the way i see it the jealousy would never consume Anna for long. As long as she listens to Elsa, knows what's going on, and has some understanding that's all that matters. And the jealousy primarily came from the hurt that, even if the situation isn't totally in their control, Anna still didn't know and all she wants is to be involved. Maybe in the beginning of the chapter the interaction between Elsa, Maren, and Snow could've been dragged out more and really punched Anna in the gut and made it more obvious, but at its core Frozen has always been about the bond between the sisters and that's what felt more important to come through in this particular chapter.
> 
> I'll admit that when writing Elsa's panic attack it was very simplified and not always that easy to come out of. I'm personally fortunate in that the few attacks i've experienced, i was able to come out of them that easily (don't ask me how, i have no fricking clue). But with Elsa, i hope i made it obvious enough what brought it on. Even if she does worry about disappointing Anna, they're close enough and have been through enough to know that even though they both have issues or don't see eye to eye, they'll always have each other. They got through the worst of the worst together and still have each others' backs. But now, i hope there's a little more insight to Elsa's identity and that there's some baggage there to unpack. Especially when it comes to the fear of constantly being questioned and knowing how hard it is to explain that to someone else to remotely help them understand because they never will. Even if Anna, and by extension Kristoff, accept her, Elsa is still struggling to accept herself to the point where she can't fully admit to herself what goes on in her head or heart except she knows she's different. Maybe she's ok when she's with Anna, maybe for the time being she's ok, and maybe some instances will be better or worse than others, but for this particular moment in time she's enough at ease. And even though Anna thinks she knows exactly what's going on now, i think it's safe to say that she'll let Elsa take the time to figure it out herself. And speaking as someone who has dealt with those struggles and negative feelings of being so different, though not to the extreme Elsa does, each day is different and it does take time to get to that point. But Elsa will get there (/cough cough/ with Maren /cough).
> 
> On a happier side note, i'd be lying if i said i didn't daydream about actually imagining Elsa, Maren, and Snow as an actual family. And as another random side note, Fred may or may not stay simply being mentioned as an employee at Oaken's. But it is fun mentioning him in passing and i must also confess i have hummed "it's a madhouse after all" the the tune of "it's a small world". It's painfully accurate.
> 
> So i'm not sure if i'll get to writing anything else this week but luckily i have enough chapters written that i can post another update later on. I would have had the time to write more but i was under hours at my job and as soon as i told someone, i got all the hours. (Ok fine, not all the hours, but at least a shift every day.) Take a breather from this insane chapter that was meant to give you a breather from reality, have some chocolate, and i will be on register for the time being. Again, thank you guys so much for tuning in. I hope you're all managing right now, keeping distracted, and doing the best you can to stay safe. And also again, Happy Pride Month to all! :3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things at my store may be starting to go back to "normal" but fortunately/unfortunately i still have plenty of material to work with for this story. With everything horrible going on the world i wish this story could be a better distraction. There is so much horror happening around us right now and i wish there was more i could do. I know this isn't much and it can't possibly make anything better but i do hope this chapter brings out something positive in the form of Elsamaren.... And if it doesn't then my friend recommends imagining Elsa as president with First Lady Honeymaren and VP Anna (someone write that please?) and i recommend imagining Elsamaren singing A Million Dreams or Rewrite the Stars from the Greatest Showman. I have no idea what prompted me to think of the latter aside from loving the music but now i also want to see that.  
> @Hugo_refield - Thank you so much! Elsa really does have a lot to work on and she will absolutely be able to get through it. It's just gonna take a little a time and hopefully when it all comes together the payout will be totally worth it!  
> @MLauren - Elsa needs a lot of things! She needs to let Maren in, she needs to get a new head, she's gotta deal with her conflict and angst, she probably needs some chocolate.... Don't we all! Thank you, i can't wait to see where i take this story, too lol. Here i am thinking my story is a big mishmash of events thrown into one mess, but these next couple of chapters do have a specific consistency attached and i'm hoping to keep that flow going as i lay out the next bunch of chapters after. Thank so much, M!  
> @fanficfruitts - i love how your comments makes this seem like a drama lol. Not that you're wrong at all, it just upped the tension and i kinda like that feeling! Actually with the chapter i'm in the middle of writing now (which is about 5ish chapters from where we're at now) it kind of works so setting the mood for that is much appreciated! ^^  
> @coldname - Thank you! i'm so glad that even with the argument and confusion between Elsa and Anna the bond and love they have for each other was still made perfectly clear. i think if the situation was slightly different and there wasn't the whole virus thing happening, Anna would definitely meddle in some capacity, but that's probably best saved for some other story. As for Kristoff popping up i've been toying with a few ideas in my head about how that introduction and realization would go, and also when just the right time is. It is going to be much later than i expected so i do apologize for the wait on that, but i think i'm finally working towards just that right moment. 
> 
> You guys get a break this time, there is no horrible retail stories to share, reflect on, or explain the story behind this time. So enjoy this chapter that even i almost didn't see coming!

Elsa tapped her fingers against the table. She hummed softly before bringing her water bottle to her lips. After placing the cap back on and setting the bottle down, she tapped her phone screen with her pointer to lighten it back up.

When did Anna get this good at Words With Friends?

Unless she enlisted the help of Kristoff.

Actually that wouldn’t surprise Elsa one bit. Anna must have been tired of losing to Elsa most of the time. Not that she could understand why when Anna was the one who crushed Charades every damn time. The woman could just get so competitive.

The break room was typically quiet at night, when so few people were even working in the store. And with their limited hours still in effect somehow it seemed calmer than usual. Not that there would be so many coworkers in the room at a time, but perhaps it was knowing there weren’t flood of people waiting for her outside with complaints and questions that made everything so peaceful.

Well, except for the fly that always seemed to be buzzing around.

Drowning out the sound of the unwanted company Elsa slid her finger across the screen, moving each letter to its desired location. The word wouldn’t garner her quite as many points as she desired, but perhaps it would buy her some time. She wasn’t going to let Anna win this easily. She debated about sending Anna a teasing dm in the game, but ultimately decided against it. No doubt Anna would text her sooner rather than later and, once this game would be complete, Anna would once again be demanding a rematch.

Elsa reached for her water bottle again, closing her eyes as she took a longer sip. When she removed the plastic from her lips and opened her eyes, she noticed Maren and Snow standing across the table from her, hands behind their backs. Blinking, Elsa swallowed and steadily placed the bottle down before glancing back and forth between the two of them. It wouldn’t have been a surprise to see one of them in the break room, though Elsa would have expected either Maren or Nani. Snow should have been preparing to head home for the night. What brought them both here, at the same time?

“Is everything alright…?”

“We come offering peace treaties,” Maren answered. Moving her hands from behind her, she revealed a box of cookies and cream pop tarts. “Dinner….”

“And dessert.” Snow followed suit, taking a box of Sno-caps from behind her back and setting it on the table.

Elsa’s eyes fluttered. “I’m sorry…. What?”

“Well we were out of the cups of Cocoa Puffs and it didn’t make sense to get a whole box of cereal right now, I mean let’s be real, you’d totally use the excuse that you could save it for another night and not even touch it now. But I remembered you said you liked pop tarts and everyone likes Oreos…” Maren attempted to explain.

Elsa held a hand up. “No…not that.” Placing her hand in her lap, she shook her head and met their gazes again with a puzzled one. “I meant…why?”

“We felt bad about causing a fight between you and your sister,” Snow said apologetically. “We saw the way she reacted to us yesterday and wanted to make up for it somehow.”

“Yeah. It’s not much, but we figured it’s better than some half-assed word of mouth apology,” Maren shrugged. “We didn’t mean to cause trouble with you guys. I guess we all just got caught up in….” She paused, making some kind of motion with her hands. Maren pulled her lips to the side and furrowed her brows while her arms and hands seemed to move up and down and in circles, trying but failing to search for the right words. “Whatever this is.”

Elsa exhaled. She knew what Maren was trying to say and though the gesture was sweet and appreciated, she knew exactly what the issue was. “Neither of you have to apologize for anything. Anna was caught off guard was all. She is not used to seeing me that way.”

“At work?” Maren raised an eyebrow.

“With people,” Elsa corrected. “It’s always been the two of us and I’ve been so adamant about keeping to myself that, I guess it threw her off to see me any different. She may have gotten a bit jealous.”

Snow blinked with surprise. “Her? Jealous of us?”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “Why is that a shock?”

“Because she already has you,” Snow shrugged.

“Yeah and she’s got nothing on us. I mean, Snow’s a kid and I have no clue what the fuck I'm doing,” Maren added.

“That still warrants no apology.” As if to emphasize her point, Elsa rose from her seat and narrowed her gaze at the two of them. Once again her hands rested in front of her and she spoke like she was about to give a royal order. “And I will not allow either of you to put yourselves down like that. Anna is my sister. I love her and we have our disputes but we will always overcome them. I’ve spent most of my time with the both of you and now we are stuck here together in the middle of a pandemic. Or does working together and surviving through this crisis mean nothing to you?”

She watched their reactions carefully. Snow had clasped her hands in front of her, almost similarly to Elsa, but did nothing else aside from bring her gaze down. Maren, on the other hand, seemed to be looking anywhere but Elsa’s direction. She rubbed the back of her head, then placed both hands behind her back once again, and finally, swung back and forth on her feet. Neither of them must have wanted to admit how right Elsa was nor did they have it in them to go against her authority. Even if what she was saying was the truth and not her simply speaking to her employees.

“That is what I thought,” she said simply before sitting back down.

Snow managed to speak first. “We’re sorry, Elsa. We only wanted to help.”

“I understand and I appreciate it,” the blonde nodded, “but it is not either of your places to worry.”

“Would…” Snow paused, drawing her gaze away. “Um…” she looked to Elsa once more, a bit unsure of her question. “Would it be any easier at all…if you weren’t my work sister anymore…?”

Elsa’s eyes widened. How could Snow ask such a thing? Because of one minor incident? It wasn’t even Snow’s fault; it was Elsa’s. She was the one who refused to inform Anna of her new working relationships. No, none of them could have known this would happen during a time where Elsa’s interactions with Anna were so limited. But it was on Elsa for shutting Anna out again. She should have known better and she should have also realized that, even if Anna would have still been jealous and a bit hurt over the timing, she would have been happy for Elsa regardless. Old habits died hard and Elsa’s were no exception.

“Of course not,” Elsa answered with tenacity. Standing up again, this time she circled around the table and stopped in front of Snow. “Maren meant it when she said we’ve got you. And I mean it when I say the only thing you have to worry about when you’re here is your work. You are not a bother. You are not causing any problems. You have my protection and support.” She took a pause, watching the teen’s eyes widen at Elsa’s certainty. Elsa waited another moment before she softened her look. “Besides, Anna would never let me hear the end of it if I said otherwise. She wants to get to know you better. And any sister of mine is a sister of hers. Do you understand, Snow?”

The teenager nodded.

“Alright then. Finish what you were doing and,” Elsa paused and lowered her voice slightly as if it would also lower her pitch, “get the hell out of this dump.”

She made sure to send a knowing smirk in Maren’s direction, which caused the brunette to gasp. “I do _not_ sound like that!”

Snow paid no mind. “Thank you!” She took a huge step forward and held her arms out, as if she were about to go in for a hug. Before Elsa could react and take a full step back, however, Snow flung her arms down and retreated. “I’m sorry…I forgot.”

Elsa offered a warm smile at the realization. She wished she could have graciously accepted Snow’s hug; the girl was only trying to show affection and appreciation for one of her role models. Elsa took a moment to let that sink in – she was someone’s role model. Huh. Still, it didn’t change who Elsa was. No matter what the circumstance she kept a barrier in front of her. She trusted Snow and she had faith in her, but she still didn’t feel ready to accept the same emotions in return. She still couldn’t imagine accepting anything from anyone except Anna.

Or Sven, for that matter, even when all he did was bring her a stick.

What she did instead was place a hand on Snow’s shoulder. That much, she felt she could do. “It’s alright. Thank you.” She then leaned forward slightly, lowering her voice once again but speaking as herself rather than Maren. “But seriously, get the hell out of this dump.”

“Ok,” Snow acknowledged with a smile. She looked to Maren behind her, offering the same smile, and then walked out of the break room.

Maren, on the other hand, was only focused on the blonde. “Seriously, I sound nothing like that,” she insisted.

Elsa let a giggle escape her as she returned to her seat. “It’s your own fault for using Snow against me like that.”

The shorter woman folded her arms. “For your information, it was Snow’s idea to actually give you something. I agreed with her on a small thing, but if I didn’t talk her down she would’ve gone home and baked you a cake instead of doing her homework. So you’re welcome.”

“Yes, thank you for saving me the horrors of trying to eat a cake all by myself,” Elsa commented sarcastically.

Maren smirked. “Any time, angel.”

If Elsa could have turned to ice on the spot, she would have. The only movements she made were the slight fluttering of her eyes. Her chest even felt like it wasn’t moving even though her heart was racing. The word flew so effortlessly off Maren’s lips and…and it was directed at Elsa? Elsa of all people? All the times of being called Snow Queen, Ice Queen or Princess; all the times people described her as cold or icy; all the times people made a comment about her remotely associated with winter or how distant she was; even if being called a queen or princess could be seen as a compliment, that was the first time anyone ever referred to Elsa as something so pure. There was no way in hell it suited her. Elsa’s mouth opened a little, barely enough to show even the edges of her teeth. Her breath felt caught in her throat. Anything she wanted to say in response, anything she could have said in response, felt chained up inside of her. Her heart raced so fast she thought it was going to crash through her chest and into the wall. She could have only imagined how red her face must have turned this time – redder than any other time thus far!

Thank god Maren had already started walking towards the door and their backs were now facing each other. Elsa didn’t think she’d be able to handle it if Maren saw her in the state she was now. Nor could she have brought herself to turn and face her. She only knew that Maren was still in the room because she didn’t hear the door creek.

“W..w…what?” she barely managed to get out.

Elsa vaguely made out the elongated pause between them. She knew Maren didn’t answer right away, but her focus was more on her own reaction. How hoarse did her voice sound? How nervous was she? Did Maren even hear her? Was Elsa even still breathing?

“O…oh…. Was…was that not ok…?”

Maren’s response was hesitant. That was all Elsa could make out. The way she said it or the tone of her voice was not obvious. Only the words themselves managed to reach Elsa’s ears.

“I…I just…um….”

Not that Elsa’s response was much better. Her voice was barely audible and the elegance in her voice was surely all but gone.

“Um…w…why? S…say that…I mean…?”

Her body still felt frozen in place, but her eyes began darting back and forth. They didn’t dare move up in case somehow Maren had come back around to face her. They only focused on the table. The crumbs from earlier coworkers’ snacks. The tenseness in her pale hands. The KitKat bar which Elsa had all but taken one bite out of. The otherwise flat, off-white surface.

“I…I mean…”

The sound of Maren’s voice caused Elsa’s head to tilt up a little. Her eyes were now able to reach towards the other end of the table, where the box of pop tarts and Sno-caps. Elsa gulped. How was Maren going to finish that sentence…?

“You…you kind of are. Just….”

Another pause.

“The way you handle everything and…and everything you do around here. Putting up with us and…you know, being so good and everything…you….”

A sigh.

“You have to be some kind of angel to do all that. I mean…I, I know you said that…about Snow, I mean…but…. It…it’s not just her…. It’s you, too.”

Somehow, she had no clue how; Elsa managed to gulp. She could feel her hands trembling. One hand immediately curled into a ball and the other shot straight up to her heart. If only that were enough to calm it down! But it still felt like it was speeding circles around a lap and somehow refusing to crash. She couldn’t recall a time when anyone said anything like that to her before.

Of course Anna was almost always positive when she spoke about Elsa. If not positive, then playful. That was her job as a sister.

But that? What Maren just said? It….

It was probably the sweetest thing Elsa ever heard.

If only Maren realized how much it meant to hear all that. But with all those breaks in between her explanation…she was probably only looking for a way to cover her tracks. It still didn’t explain why the word slipped out. What were the odds that as soon as Maren said it, she realized she needed a damn good explanation to back her up? So it didn’t come across as the wrong way somehow? She had to have been thinking of someone else. There had to have been some other reason why she said it.

“I…I’m sorry…. I didn’t…. Are you…?”

“No!” Elsa exclaimed almost too quickly. She didn’t even realize until after the fact how sudden or even loud she was. But she knew exactly what Maren was going to ask. She was genuinely sorry about what she said; afraid she might have offended Elsa somehow. If only she knew how wrong she was! “You….” She gulped. “Please don’t apologize.”

Another pause.

“O…. Ok.... Good.”

And another one.

The last one, though, wasn’t as dreadful. Elsa used it to her advantage, taking the time to actually feel herself breathing. In. And out. In. And out. Her heart was still out of control, but at least her body didn’t feel like it was going to crack.

“Um…are you on your break…?”

“Not technically…. I just came with Snow…to…you know…. The things.”

“You can take it now…if, if you wanted to….”

“Are you sure…?”

Was she sure? Was she sure she wanted to spend more time with Maren? Was she sure she wanted to hear more of her voice? Was she sure she was going absolutely crazy over this woman somehow? Yes to all of the above.

“It’s…it’s not like there’s a lot to do tonight…. It’s fine.”

But there had to be a better answer. Think, Elsa, think!

“And…and the pop tarts are two to a pack. So…if, if you wanted….”

“I got it for you, though….”

“It’s mine to share, then.”

Don’t argue, don’t argue, don’t argue!

How many extended pauses could there even be??

“Sure.”

Elsa closed her eyes, letting out a long sigh of relief. She heard Maren’s footsteps approach the table again. Forcing herself to be put back together, Elsa quickly reached over to open the box. She removed one of the packs and then opened it up. She offered a pop tart to Maren, who took it after removing her gloves. As she sat, Elsa reached to the corner where a thin roll of paper towels stood and ripped a piece off for each of them to use. For a few minutes the two of them sat in silence, the only sound being their sighs of happiness at the first bite into the chocolate heavens.

“So.”

Maren’s voice caused Elsa’s head to shoot up again. Finally she was able to look at the woman again.

“If, if it makes you feel any better…I didn’t break the news to Ryder yet. A…about Snow.”

“Oh?” Elsa took her time biting into the pop tart and focused on Maren’s movements. Maren shrugged a shoulder and averted her gaze sheepishly, as if she were hesitant to admit something.

“It…it’s kind of silly.”

“How so?”

“I just…I don’t know. I made this whole big stink about how I was just stuck here with you guys, that you were just gonna be a bunch of coworkers and not my friends or anything…. I guess I just don’t like to admit I’m wrong. So if I do he’ll never let me hear the end of it.”

“That’s…kind of Anna, too, actually…. She always pushes me to get out there and make friends and have fun…. Once the jealousy wore off she couldn’t wait to tease me about having friends and that she knew I could do it.”

“They think it’s their job to tease us.”

“I know. We have the authority over them.”

“But then when they’re right they have to go and act all high and mighty.”

“And treat us like we’re the younger siblings who don’t know any better.”

“Who even gave them that right anyway?”

“I wonder the same thing all the time.”

A soft laughter from the two steadily began to fill the room. The awkwardness was beginning to fade and they were growing comfortable around each other again. Elsa hated it when it was so uncomfortable. She always felt it was her fault somehow, because she was so bad around people and was unsure what to say or when to speak in the first place. With Maren, there may have been plenty of instances like that – Elsa lost count already – but by the same token, there was never any pressure. Maren seemed to be the one to ease the tension, but she never did it forcefully. She sounded like she spoke with such ease but at the same time she gave Elsa space. Maren could have worded her statement any other way as if to press Elsa to interact with her. Instead she said a comment that could have just ended with Elsa responding “ok” or prompted Elsa to ask for more detail. Elsa chose the latter, but only because she felt relaxed enough around Maren to do so. The only other people that had ever happened with were Anna and Kristoff.

And luckily with Kristoff he could be just as awkward as Elsa so she knew the pressure was always off with him!

“Were you and Anna always like that?” Maren wondered. “I mean I know Ryder and I are a couple of weirdo's….”

“I don’t think you are.” Elsa gazed at her so-called dinner. “Anna and I…. It’s complicated. We were always so close but sometimes we acted like we weren’t…. And we were always so different. Anna was a social butterfly. She was always trying to drag me out with her friends. But I…I had a lot more to deal with than she did. There were a lot of expectations placed on me that Anna was fortunate enough not to experience.”

“The pressures of being an older sibling, huh?” Maren guessed.

“I don’t think it was even that. Not entirely, anyway.” Elsa hesitated. There was almost a question in her mind if she was really going to let Maren into her world. To see, even for a short period of time, how she grew up. But before she could fully fight it, Elsa found herself already sharing. “My father had this company. It was passed down from his father and his father before that. He always thought that I would follow suit. A family business, I suppose. And especially since I was always so focused and studious, there seemed to be little doubt in my father’s mind. Even though there were aspects that were better suited for Anna…dealing with people, answering phones…he just always seemed to believe that I would be the one to succeed him.”

“And that stopped you from being close with your sister?” Maren wondered.

Elsa furrowed her brows. “Sort of. I was expected to not only maintain a certain image and attitude as an older sister, but also as an heir. And because I had to focus on that so much, spend so much time learning about the company and business in general, and be this perfect daughter, there was a rift created. Between that and-”

She stopped midsentence. She had almost said ‘being in the closet’. Elsa knew if she let that slip Maren would ask questions. Although Maren didn’t seem like the kind of person who would constantly poke and pry, her curiosity would certainly be piqued. And if she knew what was going on in Elsa’s head, what she had to deal with, and the baggage she carried along the way, she would surely look at the woman differently. Elsa couldn’t risk that. The relationship she had with Maren, even if it was a working-slash-co-sister relationship, was in a good place. She liked where it was. Elsa didn’t want to jeopardize that.

She could feel Maren’s eyes on her. It was like she had x-ray vision or something, trying to see through her and read how her body was reacting which would allow her to piece everything together. Elsa had to bounce back fast.

She shook her head. “It gave Anna the wrong impression of me. And it forced me to not support her in the way I always wanted to. So because of all that we did lose quite some time together. It wasn’t until we lost our parents that we were able to start mending that relationship. It’s been…some kind of journey.”

“I’m sorry all that happened,” Maren said with sincerity. “Even with all that going on, nothing should’ve kept you two apart. She could’ve made you so much better and you both could’ve covered the other. Run everything together or something.”

“Believe me, I thought long and hard about doing that when I did have control of the company,” Elsa nodded.

“What ended up happening to it?” she asked.

Elsa swallowed her bite before answering. “A lot of business and political shit.”

To that, Maren nearly spit the pop tart out of her mouth and burst out laughing.

“Maren!” Elsa gasped. “What the hell…?”

“I’m sorry…” she forced out in between laughs. “Just…oh my god I never thought I’d hear you curse!” She leaned forward, nearly hitting her head on the table as she continued cracking up.

Elsa scrunched her nose. “I curse,” she muttered.

“S…sure you do!” Maren laughed.

Folding her arms, Elsa leaned back in her chair and turned her head. “Ok I am trying to share something personal with you and you are just sitting there making fun of it.”

“No…no! I…I promise….” Maren did her best to attempt to control her fit. “Hang…hang on….” The gesture must have continued for another good minute or two before Maren finally began to calm down. “Ok…ok… I’m good.” With the last few snickers escaping, Maren was able to sit up straight again and let out a breath. “That…that wasn’t at you. Your situation, I mean. I just didn’t think you cursed at all. You really got me there, Elsa.”

“All I said was shit,” she reminded her.

“And if you ever say fuck I promise, you'll hear a _lot_ worse from me,” Maren said.

To that, Elsa rolled her eyes.

“Ok, I’m good, I promise. You can tell me. I won’t laugh again,” she swore.

“Oh no, I think I’ve said enough,” Elsa commented.

“Hey I know I’m not exactly good with business talk, but whatever happened I’m not gonna judge,” Maren replied. “I’ve been on the other end of judgment before. It’s not pretty. And it’s not like I’m in any position to comment. No one in my family had any kind of power like that, hell any kind of job like that. I don’t come from much. I don’t even need much.”

“I don’t, either,” Elsa admitted. “If you saw what I have now, you would not connect it to my growing up at all.” She paused, tugging her lip to the side. “Actually I almost wish I didn’t have much growing up. It would have been so much nicer to just focus on my family. Follow opportunities I would have been excited for. Had more time for things I enjoyed. Have more freedom. Working here…you’d think that we’re here because we have no other choice. And maybe right now that’s the case. But for me? It’s not my dream job nor is it ideal. But it’s better than sitting through meeting after meeting, being forced to go places and act a certain way when I didn’t want to, looking a certain way, or putting on a façade. I don’t have to do that all the time here. And the people I work with? Of course some of them can be fake or annoying or there are days I don’t want to be near them. But I also know there’s people here I can trust. I wouldn’t have been able to do that as a CEO or any position like that. It would have been about the power and the money, not about the job or the people. Pandemic or not, I would not trade this to go back to my old life. I have no regrets about selling the company, or my work.”

As she spoke, Elsa didn’t fully realize she unfolded her arms and set her hands flat on the table. The more she went on and the more she compared her past life to her current life, the more at ease she felt. Certain aspects, she may have felt she still needed to hide. But that part of her? The part that was loyal? The part that had a damn good work ethic? The part that actually cared about people? The part about her that felt freer in any capacity? There was absolutely nothing to hide about that, nor did she feel any shame whatsoever.

When her gaze lifted she could see Maren across from her sitting straight up. But one of her arms was pushed forward. Upon closer inspection, it was reaching across the table toward Elsa’s hand. It wasn’t close enough to make contact, but the effort was clearly there. Maren was reaching out to Elsa and showing her support even if there was no physical contact. It was a welcomed gesture. More than that; if Elsa was being honest. It actually made her feel more at ease than she had with anyone else she’d met before.

“Hey. If I didn’t say it before…” Maren paused to give her a somewhat cocked smile, “I think you’re doing pretty damn amazing. And if you didn’t start here I wouldn’t’ve gotten to work with you. So if it’s worth anything, I’m glad you’re here. You’re something else, ange…Elsa.”

The slip didn’t go unnoticed. Maren had started to say angel again. A lighter blush flooded Elsa’s cheeks that time. But unlike the first it wasn’t with embarrassment or surprise. It actually felt nice. Like she was getting a compliment. And it was further proof how honest Maren was in her testimony.

“I’m pretty sure you have said that before. And….”

Elsa paused. Where to go from there? What else could she possibly say? How could she show her appreciation to Maren? Her acceptance of Maren accepting her? Or was that too redundant? She had no idea.

All she knew now was that her heart was no longer racing. So no longer felt like she was out of control. She didn’t feel like rejecting the compliment. She just felt…light. Almost like she was fluttering out of her chair. Or maybe it was just the heat rising in her?

Whatever the case, Elsa stretched her arm across the table. She didn’t meet Maren’s hand all the way. Instead, she stopped just short of reaching her. Their fingertips were close enough to touch, even if it was to only brush up against each other. Elsa didn’t dare fill those final millimeters. Nor did Maren; instead she tilted one finger ever so slightly, as if she were touching an invisible extension of Elsa. She wasn’t going to disrespect Elsa’s space or desire. It was almost like she was holding her hand metaphorically. The support, acceptance, and friendship were all evident in that one small action. And perhaps that was what allowed Elsa to give Maren permission to use the nickname again. The one that, at least in this one moment, she believed she could actually get used to.

“And I heard you the first time.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to start this note off with two disclaimers of sorts - how have we not thought to make a sno-cap reference with Elsa before? It's chocolate called SNOWcaps! (Although i think they're also called Nonpareils? I've personally always seen them as Sno-caps.) Also, the part where Maren bursts out laughing over Elsa saying sh-t? Directly inspired by a comment by Ravrav a while back. It's not the same as Elsa dropping the f-bomb and Maren hasn't admitted to falling in love (yet!) and she definitely would NOT have recovered that quickly if Elsa did say f-ck. But Elsa being Elsa, so proper and put together, probably not one to actually curse at anyone, as soon as that sentence was typed there was no going back! So thank you for that!
> 
> I was debating on how much Elsa would willingly reveal here and how she would specifically go about it. And honestly there might have been a little more if it weren't for Elsa keeping it simple by saying "a lot of business and political sh-t". At the same time though, it's also about the baby steps. Elsa got to let Maren see the tiniest part of her world and how it made her into the woman she is and it led them to almost getting slightly physically closer. And speaking as someone who believes what Olaf says that Elsa is the nicest, warmest person who gives the best hugs, Elsa deserves more than a few good warm hugs herself!
> 
> I saved this thought process for last - the nickname. I noticed that the most common name people seem to have Maren use for Elsa is Snowflake. And i wanted to go a slightly different route, to the point where i literally typed [insert nickname here], but it was hard to continue without having that ground to work off of. At first i thought, maybe something that meant snow or ice in another language since Maren admitted to traveling. But then i thought, well what about spring or something since Maren admitted in narrative she always felt warmth from Elsa. With that there was maybe the thought of Blossom or something flower related, but it didn't feel right. And every time i kept going back to winter inspired words, something always started with snow. But between using Snow White plus Elsa's nickname of Snow Queen in addition to Maren's thought, incorporating snow felt like too much. But one word that kept popping up was snow angel, and i kept glossing it over it for the reason of snow. At first i used angel as a placeholder because i was thinking, well what if...? And the next thing i knew, the whole reaction was written. So share your thoughts and feels on that (hopefully good ones 0=3).
> 
> We're being given a small taste of normalcy now where i am, from my store's hours being back to normal to more places opening to less people wearing face masks (even though they still totally should). So i have no idea what to expect in the coming weeks. I hope everyone is hanging in there and this means that the end of this mess is in sight sooner rather than later. And for everyone else who has been stuck working since this began, you are doing amazing. It's not easy and it's not going to get any easier but we have been through some kind of wild ride and if we can get through this apocalypse we can get through anything, and even if we're not working in the same place or together or face to face, to every other essential worker i'm happy to be doing this with all of you. I'll see you guys back on Monday! <3


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm gonna keep the notes fairly short this time around. I don't have much focus, energy, or really even care today, but i know that rereading and posting this will be a good distraction for me (i go down hard with my ships) but i also wana give you guys something to look forward to. So let's jump right into it!  
> @iDragonSpyro - Oooo i like it! Also another possibility for when Elsa says f-ck...Maren stands there totally speechless because she didn't see it coming and Elsa has to snap her out of it by kissing her. XD  
> @Hugo_renfield - Thank you so much as always! :3  
> @holographicbubbles - Same sorta. I never curse and one time my best friend thought for some reason i said f-ck and she stared at me like, what the hell just came outta your mouth??? Elsa's definitely gotta get her act together and i hope that once the chapter comes out (pun not intended) that she actually says something about it, it'll be satisfying and totally worth the wait. Until then she will be right there with you and i'll come back in to give you a ton of virtual hugs! <3
> 
> Onto the chapter!

“Ok I finished the bread and the pasta, I’m ready for…. What the hell happened here?”

Maren had just finished wheeling an empty wagon back to the Crap Corner. However mid sentence, as she was about to ask Nani what was next, Maren cut herself off.

There was nothing there.

Maybe a couple of items that neither of them were able to find. But aside from that?

The Crap Corner was crap-less.

Maren stared at the section blankly before slowly pointing towards Nani. “Seriously, what the hell happened here?”

Nani shrugged. “We finished it all.”

The shorter woman was still in disbelief. “No, really.”

“I know. I’m shocked, too.” Nani pursed her lips and then shrugged. “Alright, I’m out then.”

“Wait, what?” Maren blinked. She spun around, watching Nani gather her bag and sweat jacket out from underneath self scan’s spare register.

“C’mon Casanova, there’s only a half hour left. Doesn’t make sense to stick around. Everything else is done. Ella wasn’t even scheduled as late as usual. And if the head honcho finds out we spend our time on the clock standing around doing nothing, who knows,” Nani replied.

Maren shook her head. “But even if there is only a half hour why don’t we just do something then? Like…I don’t know…what’s that thing those stocking guys are always doing?”

Nani stared blankly. “Leveling?”

“Yeah, that thing,” she nodded.

Nani scoffed. “I’m not wasting a half hour leveling. I’m not even gonna waste my time going over to David’s. I’m gonna go home, treat myself to some ice cream, and chill on the couch until Lilo sneaks out of her room and I can scare the crap outta her.” The woman laughed. “Like she thinks I don’t know she comes out in the middle of the night to see me. Maybe if I have enough time I’ll throw on my old Halloween costume, too. Really throw her for a loop.”

Maren folded her arms. “Huh. I didn’t think I’d hear the day where you’d choose to terrorize your sister over getting laid.”

The Hawaiian held up a hand. “I don’t have the energy for that tonight. Sometimes pleasing someone else takes too much effort. I can please myself once in a while, too. You should try it sometime.”

“What are you talking about?” she tilted her head.

“C’mon, girl. Work or no work, you get a half hour alone with Elsa,” Nani smirked.

Maren’s jaw dropped. She folded her arms and shifted her weight towards one side, as if it were going to somehow make her look tougher. “Oh I see how it is. You’re ditching so you can try and set me up.”

“Hey all I’m saying is, you got the time. Might as well make the most of it,” she commented.

“I’m not doing anything, Nani. Elsa’s the boss. We all work together. Nothing’s gonna happen,” she insisted.

Nani pointed at her. “That’s a bet you’re gonna lose. Much like the first one.”

“The first one didn’t happen yet.”

“But when it does you’re gonna lose.”

“You haven’t met my brother.”

“And you obviously haven’t met Elsa.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Nani rolled her eyes. “Look, I’m not saying you have to outright act on anything. You don’t have to ask her out or make a move that’s gonna freak her out. But you obviously like spending time with her. You got a thing for this girl. Don’t you _want_ to spend more time with her?”

Maren averted her gaze and pouted. “That means nothing.”

Nani smirked. “Hey, I get it. You’re afraid of being rejected. Doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy the moments while they last. Or you gotta stop talking to her.”

“You don’t know what I’m afraid of,” she muttered.

“No more than you know me,” Nani commented. She tilted her head, and then quickly snapped her fingers. The action caused Maren’s head to jerk back in her direction. “Hey. You got this, Casanova. Act like it.” She sent one final smirk Maren’s way before turning to approach the time clock. Maren turned her body and, as Nani punched in her numbers, Elsa returned with an empty cart of her own. “Aloha, Elsa.”

“Oh…. Good-night, Nani…” Elsa replied in an almost confused tone as the woman left. The blonde turned back to Maren with a raised eyebrow. “What was…?”

Without giving Elsa the chance to finish, Maren pointed to the throwbacks. Elsa shifted her body forward, allowing herself a better look.

“Oh!” she realized.

“She might as well have locked us in here herself,” Maren joked. “Unless we follow her lead and get the hell out of here.”

Elsa rubbed her chin in thought. “Maybe…. We did surprisingly have enough help today. Everything got done, including the walk around the store. I didn’t notice anything else out of place.”

“So what do we do?” Maren inquired.

Elsa turned her wrist, glancing at her watch. “It’s probably best if I at least stay my full shift. Just to be safe. But there’s no reason you have to, especially if there’s nothing that requires both of us.”

Maren furrowed her brows. “I can’t just leave you here by yourself.”

“It wouldn’t be the first time, I can assure you,” she promised.

“Still doesn’t make it right.”

“What are you now, my personal guard or something?”

“Well you kind of are the queen.”

“Who does not need to be protected.”

“Every queen needs a royal knight.”

“It’s retail.”

“So you need like, five knights.”

Elsa opened her mouth to protest, but hesitated. She pondered Maren’s statement and steadily closed it. The response caused a smirk to cross Maren’s face, which, in turn, made Elsa roll her eyes.

“You wouldn’t be wrong,” she mumbled.

Maren clicked her tongue. “Well…you do kinda help protect us from the bastards. It’s only fair we do our part to protect you, too.”

“Are you trying to be my hero or something?” Elsa scoffed.

Maren pursed her lips, completely lost in the moment. “Only if you want me to be.”

As soon as she said that, her eyes widened. Elsa seemed to mirror Maren’s shock. The two of them took a large step back despite the fact that there was plenty of space between them to begin with. Maren’s head jerked away, looking into the depths of the store so she wouldn’t have to watch Elsa’s embarrassment. What did…? Why did…? What the…?

“Sorry!” she nearly yelled. “I…I mean…” she cleared her throat, as if that was going to lower her tone at all. “That…that was…”

“N…no. I get it…” the blonde stammered.

“It…it’s just…”

“I know…”

“Was…?”

“A little…”

“Sorry….”

“It’s fine….”

Stupid, stupid, stupid, Maren scolded herself mentally. She went and screwed it up again! She really was trying to play it cool like Nani encouraged but it backfired completely. First it was the damn angel comment and now this. And even then….

No. Maren didn’t regret calling Elsa an angel. She meant exactly what she said. And she knew it was true.

Elsa was an angel.

But in any other context…if anyone would have overheard…to anyone else…. It’d almost sound like a pet name. It would all but completely confirm Maren’s feelings. And while Maren had her own trepidations about that, it wasn’t completely for her sake. It was for Elsa’s. There was no way to know how the woman would respond to an attraction. Especially knowing that Elsa didn’t get close to anyone as friends. Hell, it took so much effort to get her to agree to be Snow’s adoptive sister. How bad would it be if she found out about Maren? It wouldn’t just be their working relationship that would be ruined, or their budding friendship. Elsa might as well be ruined. She already put so much faith in Maren for the job. If she found out all of that was based off of a silly crush, Elsa would never be able to trust anyone on the job again. Maren couldn’t do that to her.

Even if Elsa said she was ok with being called an angel…or just plain Angel, god forbid Maren let that slip out again…there was still a line.

A line that Maren was not going to risk crossing again.

Elsa cleared her throat, resulting in chills trickling down Maren’s spine. “So…” the blonde spoke softly, almost hesitantly, “um…did…did you…pick up your last paycheck…? I…I didn’t notice before….”

“Oh!” Maren realized. She had a point. It had been so crazy over the weekend, not to mention Maren still didn’t remember what day the checks came in, she didn’t even think of it. Thank god for automatic deposit.

Or was it, thank the gods?

Were there multiple gods?

And if there were, did that imply there was a retail god?

Maren bet that god was just as much of a troublemaker as Loki.

Shaking her head, Maren willed herself to turn around and approach the service desk after Elsa walked behind it. Maren kept a step’s distance away from the desk, watching as the woman pulled out an accordion folder from underneath. Her pale fingers moved delicately through the sections, searching out Maren’s name. Maren didn’t think it should be that hard at first, unless multiple coworkers also forgot their last paychecks.

“Hm…” Elsa scrunched her nose, “I can’t seem to find yours.”

“Really?” Maren blinked.

“It’s not under M as it should be.”

“What about N?”

“Oaken organizes by first names.”

“But don’t the checks…”

“Read last to first? Yes.”

“So why…?”

“I gave up on following all of Oaken’s thought processes a while ago.”

“Oh….”

Maren bit her tongue. She didn’t think this was going to come up for…well, ever. Things were about to become even more awkward than usual.

“Um…check under H….”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “H?”

“Yeah….”

“Why…?”

“My name starts with H….”

“But Maren…”

“Is a nickname.”

Biting her lip, Maren forced herself to look at her confused boss. Why the hell did Elsa have to look at her that way? Of course Maren knew her own name. She just didn’t want anyone else to know it. But now it seemed that it was too late. Trying and failing to hide her discomfort, she watched as Elsa moved to a different section in the folder and quickly removed a pay stub.

Naturally Maren’s check would be the only one there.

Then it happened.

Elsa had the check dangling between her fingers. She was staring at the name on the back. Her eyes widened, first in disbelief. Her lips formed a capital o, her free hand jolted up, fell back down, and she was struggling to hide her reaction. The reaction that Maren knew all too well was coming.

Elsa burst out laughing.

If it were about anything else, anything other than Maren’s name, she would have found Elsa’s laugh adorable.

No. It was beyond adorable.

It was pure delight. Maren had never heard anything so beautiful in her life. The pure joy and whimsy that escaped her lips was nothing short of incredible. Truly few people could have had the experience of seeing this side to Elsa.

But for fuck’s sake, why did it have to be over Maren’s name???

Tried, as she might have to calm down her laughter, Elsa failed miserably. Adorably, but still miserably. Even as she forced herself to read the name out loud, she failed in hiding her enjoyment. “H…Ha…. Honeymaren?”

Oh sure, when Elsa said it, it sounded gorgeous. If Maren’s thoughts could escape her lips, she’d openly admit how nice her name sounded when Elsa said it. But her body language said the exact opposite. Her arms folded tight across her chest, her lips formed a pout, and even in her tanned face there was a clear vision of red.

From the corner of her eye, Maren saw Elsa try to contain herself. She attempted to cover her mouth and stand straight multiple times. But, once again, she failed. Even as she spoke, the laughter was all too prominent. “Oh…I…I’m…I’m so…sorry…! But…wha-ha…oh…oh my god…. I…I just…ca-han’t…. Hahahaha….”

Groaning, Maren threw her arms up in frustration. “Fine! Go! Go ahead! Make the comments. Everyone else did. I heard ‘em all. Make fun all you want.”

“Ma…ma-hake fun…? N….no…haha…I’m…oh…oh my go-had….” Elsa was visibly trying harder now to contain herself. “I’m…I’m not…. Ne-he-never….” Leaning forward, she set the check down and ran her hands through her hair. Even from the corner of her eye, Maren could see the loose strands of platinum escape from Elsa’s braid. Was now a terrible time to picture them all becoming undone?

Slowly pushing herself upright, Elsa let out multiple breaths. “It…it’s…. It’s just so ironic….” She finally managed to get out. “Ha…all those times you joked about punching someone…. And honey is so sweet…. I…heh…I just would ha-have never imagined.”

Maren rolled her eyes. “It’s a family thing. It’s dumb.”

“I’m not going to laugh anymore…. Ha…. I promise.”

Mare stared at her doubtfully.

Elsa bit her lower lip. She cleared her throat. “I…I’m done…. Really.”

Maren raised an eyebrow. She studied Elsa’s reaction carefully, waiting for the woman to break again.

Her eyebrows tilted. Her lips were tugged to one side, as if to try to give an apologetic smile, but likely were trying to hold back another explosion of laughter. Her hands were in front of her as usual. Some strands of hair were still loose, but her braid otherwise remained intact. She held Maren’s gaze for once. Elsa was trying. And she certainly meant no ill will towards Maren. She genuinely wanted to know.

Maren’s arms remained folded, but her look softened. When there was nothing else sudden from Elsa, physical or verbal, Maren let out a sigh. “My dad was kind of raised by hippies. Well…not actual hippies…. I think he just used to call them that to bug them. I never really got to know them to, well, know them.” She leaned her side against the desk and though her arms unfolded, her hands rested under her elbows. “I think they were more free-spirited than anything. My grandma went by Honey so that’s kind of where I got it from. Ryder got the cooler name, but the short end of the stick. My mom used to say that it looked like he was riding me in our sonogram pics. Not exactly something he goes around bragging to people.”

Maren shrugged her shoulders as she finished her statement, unsure of exactly what to expect from Elsa after that. It was an oddity for her to talk about her given name at all. Not that she had much of a choice; it was all because of that damn pay stub. But it had been the cause of so much turmoil growing up. Her name wasn’t ‘normal’ like most of the other kids. The teasing was one thing; being called Honeycomb instead of Honeymaren like her parents had made a mistake naming her; having to live with people calling her Honey as if it were ok when it should have been a pet name or even a dog’s name instead; being referred to as a dog because it should have been a dog’s name. There were a few instances where, during Secret Santa, she’d get a jar of honey as a joke gift instead of a toy like most other kids. And she’d never forget the time someone tried to actually throw a beehive at her, yelling at the bees to go after their honey.

It backfired, naturally. But it was still wrong.

Even as an adult, Maren faced trials and tribulations with her name. It was hard for people to take her seriously. When she started college the professors had to do a double take and ask if they got her name right. She bet the only reason she didn’t face any questions when applying at Oaken’s was because it wasn’t a ‘real’ job. It wasn’t like Maren had to wear a suit or present a certain way. She didn’t have huge meetings to attend or anyone to impress or act professional for. Retail stores didn’t care what anyone’s name was; they only cared that you could work at any time and operate a register. Maybe that was one of the issues Maren had when it came to declaring a major. How could she choose a serious field to focus on if she knew people weren’t going to take her seriously with a name like Honeymaren?

“I think that’s wonderful.”

Maren blinked in confusion. “Huh?” She untangled her arms completely and turned to face Elsa, holding the same look. What did she just say?

“Maybe it isn’t the most common name and perhaps it was too unique for your time. But it was given to you with a special meaning and connection. And I think it suits you,” Elsa explained.

Maren was still doubtful. There was no hint of teasing in Elsa’s voice and she spoke with the same calm and airy quality she always did. She was being sincere. The question, however, was why?

“You just said it was ironic because I’m not sweet like honey,” she commented.

“I said it was ironic because you act so tough and honey is so sweet. I never once said you weren’t sweet,” Elsa corrected.

To that, Maren froze. Elsa thought she was sweet…?

Clearing her throat, Elsa attempted to straighten her posture – as if it weren’t already upright – before continuing. “It suits you because of how much your family means to you. You always talk about your brother and what you’d do for him. And you obviously had a special bond with your parents.” She pursed her lips. “It…it makes me kind of jealous, actually. I was never as close with my parents as I wished. I don’t even know why they chose my name. You will always have that connection to your parents and your family because of the virtue of your name. I’ll never have that.”

Maren scoffed lightly. Her gaze shifted downward briefly and then moved back toward Elsa. “I could’ve used that when I was a kid,” she confessed. “The name calling and teasing…it was dumb. So between that, being the kid with no parents, and trying to stick up for my brother…. The only way to get through it was to act tough.”

Elsa’s face fell a little. “You must have wanted to punch so many people.”

Maren stuck her tongue out, quickly pulled it back in, moved her shoulders up and down rapidly, and rolled her eyes slowly. “Actually…. I sorta kinda maybe a couple times did end up punching people….”

“Heh. Why does that not surprise me?” Elsa teased.

Maren tried to hide back a grin. “Oh so you got jokes now huh?”

Elsa shook her head. “I’m sorry I laughed before. I didn’t mean for it to mock you. I would never. I just…. I never would have expected that from you. But it doesn’t make it right. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Hey you are not the one who hurt me, ok? I just….” Maren groaned. “I try not to let people find out my name so I can avoid reactions like that. Sometimes I think if I could change it, I would. Just shorten it to Maren and make all our lives easier.”

“So why haven’t you?” Elsa inquired.

“Aside from the obvious?” she shrugged. “I don’t know…. Pride, I guess. I know how much it meant to my dad. And it’s one of the few things I remember about him so…. I don’t wanna disrespect his side of the family.”

“I don’t think you could even if you tried,” Elsa assured her.

“You’re just saying that to make up for laughing,” she commented. “It’s ok. I’m not mad.”

“I’m saying it because it’s true.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“It’s more than that, Elsa.”

“I can’t give you more than the truth.”

“Except there’s more than the truth.”

“No, the truth is exactly what I said.”

“Except that there’s more past it.”

“How do you know that?”

“You sounded like you wanted to say more.”

“You have no idea what I’m thinking.”

“I thought you were gonna laugh and I was right.”

“That’s completely different.”

“It’s completely the same.”

“Not in the least.”

“Oh come off it, Angel.”

Maren flinched. Dammit. There she went again. That stupid word. No, not even a word that time. It was a name. Like it was becoming Elsa’s new identity or something. Maren didn’t have the right to keep calling her that. What the hell was she thinking?

Ok, scratch that. She wasn’t thinking.

Maren’s head flew back in frustration and her arms went up. She groaned loudly, as if confessing to a horrible mistake. What she didn’t expect in response, however, was a soft smile from Elsa.

“Maybe that’s it.”

“What are you talking about?” Maren replied. “How can you even…? Shouldn’t you be…I don’t know…ready to shoot fireballs at me or something?”

Her brows furrowed. “Are you sure you don’t mean ice?”

“No, I mean fireballs,” Maren insisted. “If I called any other boss that, I wouldn’t be standing right now. How are you so ok with that? I should be begging for forgiveness right now. And you’re just…. It’s like everything’s completely fine!”

“Well…isn’t it?” Elsa wondered.

Maren shook her head, her braid flinging back and forth in the process. “Ok, you completely lost me there.”

“Heh.”

“Ok you don’t have to make it _that_ obvious you’re enjoying this.”

“But that’s it exactly. Maren…I’m not going to tell anyone, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“About my name or the Angel thing?”

“Well…both, actually…. But that’s not the point.”

“So what is?”

“Maybe that’s why I’m not overreacting. I know I was yesterday…by all accounts I probably should have and should be now. But aren’t we kind of even now?”

“I think you’re overtired from working so much.”

“Or maybe you don’t enjoy the fact that now I have something on you as well.”

She was going somewhere with that. Maren could hear the tone in her voice. It was playful, in a way. Almost…not mean, no far from mean…but Elsa was being intentional. She knew exactly what she was saying and, for once, she wasn’t holding back. Maybe it was overtiredness. Maybe there was something going on. Hell, for all Maren knew she was the one who was overtired. Maren could have been the one reading too much into this, making a bigger deal out of something than it was. The whole Casanova persona Nani claimed that Maren had? It seemed to come in bouts. At least, that’s how it felt to Maren. Some moments she was completely confident and comfortable. Other times, she might as well have been a useless lesbian.

Or a useless bi…?

Was there an equivalent?

Maren never did notice. She’d probably gotten too distracted to in the first place.

Maren exhaled. Whatever the hell the reason was, she was not going to be the one acting like a bumbling idiot that time. Not because of something as stupid as her name being found out. And certainly not because of the way Elsa said it. If Elsa could present herself as someone so calm and put together in the face of being called Angel, then Maren could sure as hell do the same when being called Honeymaren.

If only she knew what the hell she was getting into.

“Ok. I’ll bite. What do you have over me? How can you possibly use my name against me if it’s not for fun? What’s the connection here? Give it to me straight, Elsa. I can handle it.”

To that, Elsa smirked.

She actually smirked.

Oh shit.

Maren was going to regret her words.

“If you are going to use Angel on me, then I’m just going to have to use Honey on you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone who wasn't sure and who wants to know, the verb 'leveling' at the beginning of the chapter basically means making the items on the shelves look neat, even and pushed to the front. It's mostly done by the stockers overnight but when it's that slow some of us are obligated to do it. And with the way the store continues to look ransacked, leveling is a pain in the butt.
> 
> Anyway! Elsa somehow FINALLY found out Maren's full name is Honeymaren. I was trying to think of kind of a fun reveal for that, and while the paycheck was the obvious answer i couldn't help but think, ok what is a really outlandish reaction from Elsa? And i realized, so far in this story we haven't once had her full blown laughing. I don't think we actually heard her full on laughing in cannon either. It felt like the perfect moment to incorporate that. Elsa probably couldn't imagine Maren wanting someone to call her Honey - not that she ever imagined that at all even though she probably totally did! A little something innocent and lighthearted to hopefully bring these two useless lesbians/queers closer together. And it also led right to the next two chapters where we'll get to see the direct results. Interpret that how you wish for now.
> 
> As usual thank you guys so much for the comments and kudos. I hope everyone is hanging in there, and as long as this helps in any way shape or form and as long as you keep enjoying it i will happily continue writing this story and seeing where the hell it goes. Until next time i'll see you on line at the grocery store!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok there's a LOT of comments to catch up on which i didn't expect at all. (To be fair i think like half of them were from Ravrav in the haste of catching up lol which is totally fine!) So i'll just jump right into them so you guys can start reading!  
> @Ann - Elsa may be teasing now but i think we all know they're officially going to be each other's pet names. XD I'm so glad you're enjoying this even if slow burns aren't your cup of tea. I make no promises how long it'll take for these to to stop being...well, useless lesbians and get it together already...but i really hope it'll be worth it in the end. Thank you so much!  
> @Chiara - They're teasing, they're totally head over heels for each other and are too clueless to admit it, and there will probably be more teasing in the future! Not sure if this chapter is exactly what you would be expecting to see next but i hope you enjoy it all the same!  
> @Hugo_renfield - That is such a huge compliment, thank you so much! The sad thing about it though, is that i probably have enough retail material probably to make the story go on forever! Or at least a followup/sequel. XD  
> @salfopsi - Elsa may have dropped the Honey bomb once, but with Elsa's restraint and stubbornness it may not be that easy to have her say it again so quickly.... Or is it? 0=)  
> @iDragonSpyro - I wish i could help, but my dog looks at me like i'm crazy all the time and it's not even from hollering at a computer screen LOL. I PROMISE YOUR DOG STILL LOVES YOU ALL THE SAME!  
> @T2Boy2 - Elsa means nothing bad when she laughs. She just got caught so off guard by it. Plus the fact that she laughed so willingly in front of Maren has to be a good sign...right? xD Maybe that laughter will come back to haunt her later!  
> @Andreu - Thank you! I'm so glad you took the time to sit through all the questionable chapters that led to this! I was intending to write this reveal for a while, it was just a matter of when specifically so i guess it was a good time! Nani is a troublemaker and Elsa probably doesn't even realize she's teasing. Hopefully when Elsa finally does use Honey on Maren that will also be worth the wait! And i also hope this chapter brightens your day as well! :)  
> @Ravrav - Ok a TON of comments to catch up on with you lol. I think you posted something every single chapter now. XD Your summarization of Anna and Elsa a few chapters back was spot on! And probably way more accurate than the whole dialogue i wrote lol. i'm kinda getting the feeling your favorite chapter was the one where Elsa swore for the first time! xD I have you to thank for the inspiration on that, even if it wasn't the f bomb, but it also led to the pet name and the moment. But now i feel bad because i actually have no idea if pop tarts are the way to a girl's heart. o.0 Honestly the beginning of the story was FAR from flawless. It was like a movie struggling to find its footing before people could actually get into it. And sometimes i think about going back to change a few things but really, i wouldn't even know how. Because it's also an accurate representation of retail where, when we start, we have no idea what the hell we're getting into or what kind of mess we're about to make with people. Even though i totally should fix it at some point lol. I'm just glad now that it's in a place where it's easier to get into and you and everyone else is invested and enjoying it as much as you are. :)  
> @coldname - I won't say i had this idea since the beginning, but i think from pretty early on i knew that at some point Maren's name was going to be revealed as Honeymaren, and the obvious way would be through seeing her name on the paycheck. It just took a while to actually find the right place for it and execute it lol. And yes, Maren just called herself a useless lesbian and that's exactly why i added the tag to the story now! XD
> 
> Thank you for sitting through my rehash of all these comments and for all the positive feedback this whole time. I have no idea if this chapter is what anyone was expecting but i will leave you with the most basic possible spoiler to hopefully get you excited.... Cat Bruni is back!

“UGH! What the hell was I thinking??”

“No, scratch that. I _wasn’t_ thinking!”

“I don’t even know what came over me.”

“It’s like I just opened my mouth and the words came out.”

“But who the hell would buy that explanation?”

“Maybe I should just apologize.”

“Unless that’s stupid.”

“‘By the way Maren, I’m sorry I implied I was going to start calling you Honey.’”

“Ugh that does sound so stupid!”

“But she started it.”

Pause.

“Ok, fine, I totally started it.”

“But it was an accident.”

“It just happened.”

“Do you think she’d understand?”

“Do you think I should even try to apologize?”

“Oh my god what if I just made things even more awkward?”

“I totally made things more awkward.”

“What if Maren doesn’t want to talk to me after this?”

“She’s going to avoid me like the plague, isn’t she?”

“But she started it so it’s technically her fault.”

Pause.

“Except I’m the one who opened her big mouth.”

“Ugh why couldn’t I just let it go?”

“I am such a broken human being.”

After pacing back and forth between each statement, Elsa finally halted in front of her bed. She allowed herself to fall forward, her head and torso connecting with the soft blanket and mattress in the form of a plop sound. She groaned into the sheets.

“Bruni what the hell am I going to do??” she mumbled.

As if the cat was going to answer. And she sure as hell wasn’t going to answer for him. It would be a new low the day Elsa created a Bruni Voice just like Kristoff had the Sven Voice. Still, for the heck of it, Elsa tilted her head up slightly to stare at the creature. There was Bruni, sitting on top of her pillow with the blankest stare. His tail moved back and forth. His head tilted once, then twice. Finally, the cat stuck his tongue out; it all but flew out of his mouth and swatted his tiny pink nose.

Elsa narrowed her gaze. “You’re no help.”

Groaning, she turned onto her back and pulled the rest of her body onto her bed so she was spread across it. What else was Elsa supposed to do? It wasn’t like she could talk to Anna about it. Not really. The girl already had her suspicions about Maren. If Elsa admitted she was thinking even the faintest hint of calling Maren Honey, she was all but a goner.

Not to mention Elsa swore she wouldn’t mention the name to anyone.

“Heh.”

Honeymaren.

Her full name was Honeymaren.

It really was a nice name. Elsa hadn’t been lying about that. Nor was she lying when she explained her reaction. Of course, she still wasn’t completely sure Maren believed her. Elsa couldn’t begin to imagine what kind of name-calling and teasing Maren implied came with the name. Elsa personally imagined a lot of bee references. Not to mention being teased because she must have been so sweet.

Not that Maren wasn’t sweet. Did Maren even realize she was sweet? Or could be? Maybe she had the tough girl act up so much she never even noticed.

It really was ironic. Maren joking about punching people. The teasing comments. Her reactions. Maybe she had her own wall up, too. No, it wasn’t quite the same wall Elsa had. Elsa spent years building hers. She imagined it was a brick wall coated in ice to match her personality. Admittedly, the nickname Snow Queen did come with its discomforts in the beginning. Elsa had taken the name personally. But she couldn’t change the way people saw her. Especially at work. So what if she came across as a bit icy? She couldn’t let the customers know if they got to her. She didn’t get close to people to begin with. And what if she did have some royal aura about her? No, Elsa wasn’t exactly royalty; but she had come from a very well off family. She wouldn’t go so far as to use the word rich, but at one point they were. Her father’s company was successful. And as CEO, he had been an influential man. Elsa was set to take over for him. Hell, she _did_ take over in the wake of her parents’ deaths. Maybe she was business royalty, in a way. Even then, she had to keep her wall up. Conceal, don’t feel.

If only that mantra was as simple as business.

She couldn’t let clients know if they got to her. She couldn’t let anyone see her sweat in the wake of a difficult decision. She couldn’t let anyone know she was terrified of making the wrong choice or if a threat came along. She couldn’t let anyone see the stress she was under. She couldn’t let her competition find a weakness to use against her and, ultimately, the company. Let alone her family.

But it was more than just business.

Conceal, don’t feel.

Don’t let it show.

God forbid Elsa be anything other than ‘normal’.

Maren probably didn’t have to worry about things like that. The woman admitted she didn’t come from much. What did Elsa know about Maren…?

She was raised by her aunt, if Elsa recalled? Maren and her brother. Maren grew up protecting him. Her family meant everything to her. She only spent time away from them to travel and discover herself. She went cross-country, it sounded like. And then her brother joined her. She was in school now, undeclared. She was still looking out for her brother. She was a damn good sister. Not just to him, but to Snow, too. She was hard working. She was loyal and tough. She had pride. She never once apologized for being exactly who she was. She apologized when she did something wrong, or when she thought she overstepped with Elsa. But for simply being Maren? She never apologized for that. Nor did she ever need to.

But still Maren had a wall up. She had that well-guarded secret of her name. How did no one else notice the last time she went to pick up her check?

Actually, that didn’t matter. Knowing Maren, she probably found some way around it. She was resourceful.

Yet despite all of Maren’t strengths she still needed a way to protect herself. And she knew if people found out her name they could use it against her again. She couldn’t let that affect her work. Or her. It was such a well-kept secret. And now Elsa was being trusted with it. For once, Elsa actually got a glimpse of Maren’s wall. She saw that the woman had her own secrets, too. She imagined that in front of Maren was a wall of honey. No, not honey specifically. The color of honey. Like Maren’s eyes.

Huh.

The way Maren’s eyes occasionally glowed like honey.

The name really did suit her.

Not that Elsa could tell her that, and certainly not to her face.

Elsa’s face fell.

She couldn’t tell Maren that to her face.

Why did that make her sad?

Tilting her head slightly, she could see Bruni approaching her from the side. The cat slinked across her arm, stopped near her waist, and plopped himself down. His head landed on her belly and his body curled next to hers. She could hear the faintest of purrs escape him and clearly see his body move up and down in tandem with his breathing.

“You can’t tell anyone about this, ok, Bruni?”

Faint purrs.

“I know you wouldn’t. I just…I thought I should reiterate it.”

His head fell to the side.

“I’m not going to tell Anna, either. I can’t.”

More purrs.

“It’s late. I’m not going to call her now.”

Slightly louder purrs.

“Of course I want to. But…she wouldn’t understand.”

His head moved back and forth against her body, ears making faint flapping sounds.

“It’s ok. She never understands anyway, no matter how much she wants to. I accepted that ages ago.”

She moved her hand to rub one of his ears.

“This is something I have to deal with on my own.”

His head jerked up, causing Elsa’s hand to all but fly off of his head.

“Of course I have you, Bruni!”

Plop. His head fell back on her body.

Elsa sighed and shook her head. “I know you wouldn’t fully understand it, either. You’re lucky; you never have to worry about these things.”

Head tilt.

“My parents never understood, either…. They would have never been able to. Either way…either way it’s not good enough.”

_“Mew?”_

How did he do that? Make his meows sound like that?

Actually, that didn’t matter. Bruni was uniquely Bruni.

“I know. We’re both who we are for a reason. And if Anna were here, she’d remind me that I’m exactly who I’m meant to be.”

His purrs became even louder that time. Bruni must have recognized the familiarity and responded.

“Oh come on, you know exactly what she’d say.” Elsa cleared her throat. Staring wide-eyed at the ceiling and plastering a big grin on her face, she attempted – and failed – to mimic Anna. “‘Elsa, you gotta stop putting yourself down and letting this get to you. There’s nothing wrong with who you are. You’re my sister and I love you and I know there’s someone else out there who’ll love you just the same way. When are you going to learn to accept who you are and admit there’s nothing wrong with you? You say you’re different and you worry so much about what other people think. Even if you don’t act like you do. But you’re not different. You just love different.’”

Her eyes returned to Bruni. The cat stared at her blankly, body frozen in confusion as if he were actually mistaking Elsa for Anna somehow.

“Oh like you could do any better?”

Bruni lay back down, the movements of his body returning. Elsa rested her hand on his back, moving her hand up and down lightly against his soft grey fur.

“Thought so. But you know what’s really sad? I know exactly how that conversation would go. Because it always ends up with me losing. As if Anna knows she’s right somehow.”

_“Mrow?”_

“Please don’t make me have that conversation with myself. It’s bad enough I lose to Anna in person. And in Charades. I don’t want to lose to her metaphorically, too.”

His tail swatted the blanket.

“Oh don’t worry. I’ll have my revenge when we play Pictionary. I’ve got the edge.”

Her head turned to the corner opposite of her bed. There, on her desk, she could see an unopened sketchbook.

At least, she didn’t recall opening it.

It was shortly before the pandemic started. AC Moore had been saying for months their stores were closing and their sales were steadily increasing. The last time Elsa went into the store with Anna, she had bought a couple of sketchbooks at 30% off. Elsa left one of the sketchbooks on her desk with the intention of using it after work one night. As usual, in the event that she couldn’t sleep. She could picture it so clearly; it used to be that some nights were so busy and she’d have so much to do, you’d think by the time she arrived home she’d be exhausted. But in reality, she’d be so wound up from work she wouldn’t be able to fall asleep. So she’d have the book waiting for her. Whether she’d sit at the desk or take it outside would be up to her.

Except that never happened. Her next shift had been the first when the outbreak started. The madness came on so suddenly and unexpectedly for the store. That first night they didn’t even close on time like they usually did. The line had been so long even by the end of the night that the last customer didn’t leave until eleven-forty as opposed to eleven. Elsa went home exhausted and fell asleep on the couch.

Maybe now would be a good time to use it. It was all but sitting on the desk gathering dust. At least everything else she bought that night was still in the bag probably dumped in her closet somewhere. It would be a shame if it just kept sitting out with no use. Or else Elsa would have to throw the sketchbook in her closet as well.

Sighing, Elsa carefully moved Bruni off her so she could slide off the bed. Elsa walked over to the desk, picked up the book and a pencil, and then made her way out of her bedroom. It was still a bit too chilly to sit outside and sketch. But she still felt like having a view. So she slid down the counter in the kitchen, using the hard surface to keep her back upright. She pulled her legs in to use as an easel and opened the book to the first blank page.

Elsa started her sketch as usual. She focused on geometric shapes, just allowing some sort of energy to flow onto the page. She started with squares, allowing them to overlap each other. At first, the way the squares fell on the top of the page, she almost likened them to a design of Mondrian. If she was in the mood to add color, she could have gotten back up and grabbed some colored pencils or even markers. Not paint, though; Elsa didn’t have that kind of discipline.

Or pastels or charcoal, for that matter. Too messy.

Ironic for someone who used clay a lot in her sculptures, which could be equally as chaotic.

As Elsa’s pencil slid down the page, the shapes changed. The squares slowly turned into pentagons. They still overlapped, but a bit less so than the original shapes. Then the pentagons turned into hexagons. Some of the corners touched, but it was a far cry from where Elsa started. But as she reached the bottom, page filling quickly, she pulled her eyes away. Something looked….

Squares.

Pentagons.

Hexagons.

Honeycombs.

Honeycombs!

That was it!

The hexagons touched on the sides like honeycombs!

A brainstorm formed in Elsa’s head and, like a flash of lightning went off, she dropped her book on the floor and dashed back to her room. Yellows…. Tans…. Browns…. Earth! She needed earthy colors!

Every once in a while when Elsa sketched, something hit her. It didn’t need to be something turned into a sculpture. It wasn’t something that had to be molded physically in front of her. Rather it was an idea in her head that was just begging for a way to come out. Even if it was only on paper, it just had to be visible somewhere.

Opening drawer after drawer, she searched for her colored pencils. She barely used them, but she knew Anna had also gotten her a new pack of Prismacolors for her last birthday…maybe they were still….

Bingo!

Pulling the large pack out triumphantly, Elsa closed the drawer and ran back out to the kitchen. She could feel Bruni’s dazed look on her back from her bed but for once, Elsa was too positively caught up in her thought process to argue mentally with the cat. Sitting back down, she pulled the sketchbook back onto her lap and turned to a fresh page. She took the plain pencil first and began lightly drawing. She had to get the outline first before adding the intricate details and then the colors. She had a whole process and was quickly becoming lost in it.

Finally something good was coming out of Elsa’s internal struggle and she was able to focus on something creative and positive.

She just hoped that Maren would like it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when i said last time there'd be an immediate followup to the whole Honey comment? Naturally because Elsa is Elsa, she starts jumping to conclusions and putting WAY too much fault on herself. Do i enjoy torturing this poor girl? Ok, maybe a little, but it's only to have someone to suffer with. And also i kind of enjoy watching Elsa's back and forth with herself in the form of Rapunzel in Tangled. This was also kind of an excuse to bring Cat Bruni back. The responses to her interactions with him were overall positive and i very much enjoyed writing them.
> 
> I'm sorry to disappoint you guys in not hearing Elsa say Honey right off the bat, but we get to see that even when Elsa is thinking the worst and beating herself up, Maren is never far from her mind. Even if she doesn't know or understand why! I was also debating on ending the chapter with Elsa humming the tune that Maren kept hearing in the beginning, which could tie back into that and we could officially start yelling at the screen, IT'S THE SAME GIRL, MAREN, GO AFTER HER YOU IDIOT! Except then the Elsa sketching thing happened. The story has definitely taken a turn from how it started with that, but this is also a reminder that it's not forgotten. So until it's confirmed in the narrative we'll just have to keep yelling at the screen for these two useless lesbians/queers to get together already. (Disclaimer: i know everyone has their own thoughts and feelings on the q word, i personally relate to it and use it so please note that any time i use that word in notes or narrative it's a reflection of my comfort and association with the word only and is not meant to be used with any ill intent or discomfort in any way.)
> 
> It's been a crazy week work wise and also a heavy one for me emotionally and mentally for other reasons, but i'm trying to get back into the creative vibe and get a few more chapters written. I'm starting to get to the point where i can picture some kind of consistency or a more specific line of events so hopefully that'll help. The trick now is to actually sit down and write and stop daydreaming about Elsamaren...even though i love daydreaming about Elsamaren and had so many wonderful daydreams about them. Anyway, as usual i'll be back on Monday with the next update when i'm not sweating in a face mask or being held hostage at self scan!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to start off this note by saying, to everyone who compliments on how i write Elsa and relates to her talking to Cat Bruni, thank you so much! <3 I know there are plenty of other writers on here who do her just as much if not more justice. I just do my best to write Elsa, as well as any other character, through and relating to their emotions and her speaking to Cat Bruni is something i personally relate to as well (although, in my defense, i'm probably more Kristoff than Elsa in that regard). But to have you guys say all of it, all of Elsa, is that believable or relatable, to imply it's anywhere near as believable as someone writing her that has more skill, experience, and all of that.... Just thank you. I can't say that enough.
> 
> My crazy unpredictable work hours continue but now we're in a strange place where things are kind of back to normal except they're not. More stores are starting to open by me and although there's still rules in place, people aren't doing a great job listening to them. My store already has customers coming in without face masks which feels like such a contrast to this story where wearing face masks hasn't even been brought up yet. So as the transition from apocalypse to semi-normalcy continues it's questionable for now how many crazy work stories there may be and how much it'll focus on Elsamaren's relationship. The timeline here is still up in the air compared to how it is as of the postings but the struggle to survive in the retail world and relying, trusting, and bonding with the coworkers continues. So with that said, let me catch up on the comments from last chapter.  
> @Superamy777 - Every time someone says they enjoy this story or took the time to catch up on it and let me know how worth it it was, i always have to do a double take because i never expect responses like that. And every time, yours included, i can't tell you how much it means to hear or read that. What started out as just an idea and something to let out my frustrations about actually turned into something enjoyable and it floors me in the best possible way. So thank you so much for telling me that <3 There's probably gonna be some more uselessness between them and i'm still working on how they can or will get together outside of work, but i promise i'm going to do whatever i can to make the journey and outcome just as worth it as it has been catching up.... And to also make their uselessness as adorable and entertaining as possible!  
> @T2Boy2 - If the slow burn has that kind of reaction on you so far, i kind of can't wait to see what your reaction might be at the end of this chapter! XD  
> @holographicbubbles - Elsa is probably one of the most useless, oblivious (and adorable) lesbians/queers ever! XD Although her being lost in Narnia makes sense, i always assume that's where anything that's lost goes to! Or maybe she stole a page from Kristoff's book and got lost in the woods. She can try to hide with her sketchbooks and ignore or maybe even play dumb all she wants but sooner or later she's gonna have to at least poke her head out of there. It's only a matter of time....  
> @Andreu - There was no way i couldn't not share Elsa's point of view after the chapter before. Elsa always seems to let more of herself out when she's alone. Like she tries so hard to present herself a certain way to everyone else but when we get her alone with her thoughts (and Cat Bruni) we get so many more layers to her personality and her emotions. All Elsa has to actually do now is realize that all her rambling about Maren actually has a reason behind it!  
> @Chiara - I can't wait for Elsa to fully express herself either lol! It's definitely a process for her to get there and there's still a few ups and downs to hit on the way. But the more she opens up the closer she'll be to that. And i'm going to keep trying to show that with her and capture that side to her like have been so far.
> 
> Now that you guys have gotten a taste of Elsa's post of view post-Honey comment, maybe we should see how Maren's holding up and what she's about to walk into!

“Well don’t you look like you’re living the dream.”

Maren turned her head. She was currently sprawled out on the couch. Her head was up against the arm. One of her arms hung over across the top and the other sunk down the side. The couch was just small enough to fit Maren’s frame almost perfectly; her feet were just barely raised up on the end opposite of her.

Maren had less than two hours before work. She’d normally be using this time to eat something and watch an episode of something on Netflix or Disney+.

She was currently in Book Two of Avatar the Last Airbender, by the way. She forgot how much she loved that show.

But today?

She was completely out of it. There was no focus or desire for anything. Sure, she had a sandwich and a can of Sprite out. But aside from that? She couldn’t even bring herself to do her assignment. She had an online class to report to earlier in the morning and she played hooky.

Actually, could someone play hooky for an online class if it didn’t even involve leaving the house?

Either way, she didn’t appreciate her brother’s joking tone this time around.

“Shut it Ry.”

Ryder shook his head and stepped into the living room. “Ok, seriously sis, what the hell is going on here? I haven’t seen you this much of a wreck since you hit up that questionable concert in Nashville.”

“Hey, it was a very convincing fake Gazelle,” she held up a finger in defense. She paused before adding under her breath, “Also I was drunk.”

“Yeah those daiquiris really did a number on you. Probably best to stick with a Seagram’s or something,” he commented.

“Ok are you done picking apart my…whatever the hell this is…yet?” she questioned. “Cause this clearly isn’t a life.”

“Hey, it’s not up to me to judge what a life is. I’m a super underpaid vet intern…person.” He started out confidently but as soon as he went to define what the hell he was, Ryder’s voice faded and his eyes darted back and forth, only adding to his uncertainty. “The point is something’s going on with you. You were in the shower for who knows how long last night, you were hitting your head against the wall until like four am…”

“Wasn’t that long,” she muttered.

“You skipped your class today, and now you’re supposed to be getting ready for work and you look more like a bored kid who stayed home alone for the first time and already did everything they wanted and now you have no idea what to do with your time,” he finished.

“I question your imagination every day of my life,” Maren commented.

“Mare, that’s not the point! Ever since you started working at Oaken’s it’s like you…you’re….” He threw his hands up in frustration. “GAH! I don’t even know what.”

She scoffed. “Yeah. Real descriptive there.”

“You barely even talk about it. Even when you started everything was all simple like, ‘the people are ok.’ ‘Customers suck.’ ‘People suck.’ ‘It’s the end of the world.’”

“All accurate,” she shrugged.

Ryder sighed. He moved so he was on the other end of the couch, closer to the door and facing his sister. “It’s just…I don’t know, Mare. I think something’s off with you. Like you’re not telling me something. I don’t even get to tell you about my day anymore. Whenever I go to work you’re home and by the time I get home you’re gone. Sometimes I’m up late playing Pokémon and we’ll talk for like, five minutes. But other times you just go right to your room. And even when we’re both home you’re locked in your room with your classes. I miss you, ok?”

Maren’s face fell. To this day she had no idea how the hell Ryder was so comfortable just speaking with his emotions like that. Even if they spoke sincerely about something, they had vastly different approaches. Maren spoke from observation, or with protection to herself. Ryder spoke with his heart and the best of intentions. Why the hell did he get it so easy? All Maren did when she spoke was screw up somehow. Even if Nani claimed that Maren was some Casanova.

“I’m sorry. I miss you, too.” She sighed and sat up, making room for Ryder to sit next to her. “It’s just…things are crazy there. You don’t go in every day for four to six hours dealing with crazy person after crazy person taking their frustrations out on you because you can’t give them all the food or answers they want. You don’t even have to deal with as many people that come into the clinic. You just help with the animals. Dealing with people…being treated as less than a person…it gets exhausting.”

“I didn’t know…” he apologized.

Maren scoffed lightly. “You couldn’t know if I don’t talk to you.”

“So…can you talk to me now?” he asked hopefully, sitting down. “I mean…we have time before you go to work, right?”

“Pft. Like I’d even know where to start,” she rolled her eyes. “Besides if I told you half the stuff that goes on in there you’d never let me hear the end of it.”

“Is it about that girl you met?” Ryder teased.

Maren groaned. “Why do you always assume it’s about a girl I met?”

“Well cause the last time you met a guy you just jumped right into…” he started.

She held up a hand, cutting him off. “Ry. We know what happened.”

“Yeah, a skinny dipping incident engraved in my head forever. Thanks for that!” he exclaimed.

“You make it sound so terrible.”

“Because it was more than just skinny dipping!”

“You were reading too much into it.”

“I know what I saw, Mare, and I really wish I could un-see it!”

“Whatever.”

Ryder shook his head. “I’m just saying, I know how you are when you meet someone. You get all in your head and you hyper focus on them, like you get lost in these fantastical daydreams or something. It can’t just be the job and school that’s keeping you from me.”

“We’ve been over this, Ry. I’m not getting involved with someone I work with again,” she said.

“But you want to,” he observed.

“You don’t know what I want,” she mumbled stubbornly.

“I know you haven’t met someone in a while. And I know it’s been a while since you’ve had a relationship. And you deserve a good relationship,” he said.

“A crush doesn’t have to lead to anything, Ry.”

“But you want it to.”

“I can not act on something, you know.”

“You can try but you’re failing.”

“Because that worked so well the first time.”

He let out a faint groan and shook his head. “Ok you gotta stop beating yourself up about what happened with Attina. It was in high school. You made a mistake. You were led on and got hurt. But you’re an adult now. And as long as there’s nothing at work saying you can’t date…what’s stopping you?”

“Aside from the virus?” she commented as-a-matter-of-factly.

“Ok, that. And…?” he encouraged her for more.

Maren sighed. Ryder wasn’t going to shut up until she gave him something. But she wasn’t going to tell him about Elsa. If he ever visited the store and saw her, he’d put two and two together and it’d be completely obvious. She had to give him something else to work with. Anything else….

“I don’t really know her that well. We work different shifts so it’s like every time I leave she comes in,” Maren lied.

“How does that even work?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Stockers. Overnight crew,” she answered simply. “Anyway…look, all I know is that she has this incredible voice. Sometimes I think about following it and talking to her but…. I don’t know. Maybe the fantasy is better than the reality.”

It wasn’t as if she were being completely dishonest. Maren hadn’t heard the voice in a while but she knew it existed. She still had no idea who it belonged to. Maybe that was why she was so hyper focused on Elsa. She didn’t have the mystery woman to think about because she never saw her. That could explain why her crush was driving her crazy. She didn’t have that other person to focus on. She never met her. Never put a face to the voice. Didn’t know her from a hole in the wall. She could make assumptions, but nothing was proven. Meanwhile Maren spent so much of her shifts working with Elsa. Of course she was going to let a silly crush on her superior get out of hand. It was better that Ryder thought Maren was fawning over a mystery woman anyway.

If only it could change how Maren actually felt.

If only she could erase from her mind how nice her name sounded when Elsa said it.

If only she could stop thinking about the possibility of being called Honey by her. Even if it was teasing. Or even if Maren deserved it.

If only she didn’t feel so damn warm around Elsa.

If only she could imagine physically touching her…giving her a simple hug…be able to actually communicate with more than words what an amazing job that woman was doing.

But whom was she kidding? Even if Elsa had been using the faintest form of flirting, it probably wasn’t real. Hell, Elsa probably didn’t even know she’d been flirting. She was likely so caught up in her work and focused on Maren’s name that she didn’t make the connection of what honey could mean to someone else.

It. Wasn’t. Real.

“So what is reality?” Ryder finally asked.

Maren huffed. “What? The reality of work?”

“Well…yeah,” he shrugged. “What’s it really like there? I mean, so you can’t see this person ever. Don’t you see everyone else all the time?”

“Well there are some pretty cool people there,” she admitted. “You’d like Ella. She loves working with animals. She has these mice that she treats like her best friends. They’re practically her family. One of them likes to escape the cage and chew on stuff.”

Ryder raised an eyebrow. “You’re not trying to set me up to get my mind off Kristoff, are you?”

Maren let out a laugh. “Nah, I know better than that. I just thought you two would hit it off. You’d just be chilling talking about animals all day. Maybe work together at some animal hospital or sanctuary and rehabilitate the little guys….”

“That’s the dream,” Ryder sighed.

“She’s also the most polite and understanding person. So if things ever didn’t work out with Kristoff then I’m sure she’d be a great wing woman. Be able to talk you up and set you up with a nice guy and everything,” she added.

“I think you’re jumping the gun on Kristoff there. There’s still a chance he can be single again,” he commented.

“But you could use some help talking yourself up sometimes,” she pointed out.

Ryder opened his mouth to dispute, but ultimately shut it. “Yeah, ok, fine. You got me there.”

Maren chuckled. “I…also hope you’re ok with having another sister.”

“What do you mean?” he raised an eyebrow.

Maren sighed. She knew she was never going to hear the end of it from Ryder, but it was now or never. And she’d rather hear ‘I told you so’ from him over and over again about Snow than Elsa. “Remember how you said in the beginning I’m totally gonna become best friends with my coworkers?”

Ryder’s goofy grin slowly grew bigger and he let out a squeal of delight. “EEEEEE! You totally became best friends with one of your coworkers, didn’t you?” He bounced on the couch, unable to contain his excitement.

“I mean…I wouldn’t say best friends. But I kind of did get a work sister out of it,” she admitted. “There was this situation with Snow…that’s her name…or a nickname…I’m not entirely sure…. Anyway there was this horrible customer who made her so upset. And at the end of the shift, my boss and I were doing everything we could to make her feel better. And it sorta kinda ended with us adopting her as our work sister. So…think you’d be ok with sharing me?”

Ryder’s jaw dropped. “Huh…. All this time I thought you were avoiding me. You were really just replacing me. What, is she cuter than me, too?”

“Well she’s a hell of a lot sweeter, that’s for sure,” Maren laughed. “Ry, she’s a kid. She’s sixteen. She lost her dad last year and her stepmom treated her like shit…she’s got her seven uncles but she doesn’t really talk about them much. I don’t know, I just…I kinda get the feeling that even though she has their support, she’s still not in the best place right now. And you should’ve heard the way this customer snapped at her. It was completely uncalled for. She doesn’t have anyone else looking out for her. I wanna help her fix that.”

Ryder’s face fell in understanding. “So she’s in the same boat we were, huh?”

Maren nodded. “I know I can’t do everything to help her. And you know that if I had to choose, I’d go to the end of the earth and back for you. But knowing what she’s dealt with and what she’s living through…I can’t let her go it alone, Ry. If there’s anything I can remotely do, I wanna try.”

He sighed. “Mare you did so much for me already. How many times are you gonna give something up for yourself just to help some kid who needs you?”

Maren opened her mouth to speak, but Ryder cut her off.

“And before you say anything, I know you look at me like your kid brother. It doesn’t matter if you’re a few minutes or a few years older. You’re still my big sister. And.…” He pursed his lips. “And I really look up to you. You gave up a lot for me. I don’t wanna see you keep doing that for someone else, too.”

“I think it’s really worth it, Ry. _She’s_ worth it,” Maren nodded.

Ryder shrugged. He was never one to put up that much of a fight. Even with his words. Maren was the fighter; Ryder was the pacifist. And even if he didn’t always agree with her, he trusted Maren’s judgment. This time seemed no different. “Alright then. But she’s gotta have another nickname. Cause I’m sorry, Snow Nattura just doesn’t ring right to me.”

“Oh whatever,” she rolled her eyes playfully.

“Hey.” He put a hand on her shoulder. “You really ok?”

Maren shook her head. “I’ll be fine, Ry. Eventually. When this whole mess is finally over with. I don’t know. Maybe I’m just going crazy. It’s a lot happening and it’s the same routine. There’s stress and uncertainty about the whole mess…. It’s really taking a toll on everyone. It’s like, I know I can go out and have some freedom even if it’s in the form of work, but I’m still trapped. Just because I can go out and do something doesn’t mean it’s enjoyable.”

“I think it’s like some kind of mist,” Ryder commented. “Think about it. An unbreakable mist that’s trapping everyone where they are and limiting where they can go and what they can see. No one can see beyond the mist that’s in front of us. We don’t know what’s past it or what’s gonna happen when we come out of it. And the only thing that can get us out of it is some magic spell or formula or something. Except no one knows what it is yet.”

Maren shook her head. Ryder’s innocence, naivety, and imagination were his greatest strengths and weaknesses. He wanted to hope for the best and believe the best was coming even if they couldn’t see it. He seemed so easily lost in fantasies and fairy tales because they were better than the real world. He looked at everything from this childlike point of view that seemed so obvious to him but so mind-blowing to everyone else. But because of those factors, people didn’t take him seriously enough. They didn’t think he had much to offer. The truth was, though, everyone needed a little bit of Ryder to get them through this time. Maren didn’t realize how much she needed or missed it until she heard him speak again. Until they had their sibling time.

But the world was going to suck no matter what. It just sucked so much worse in this moment, at this point in time, than it usually did. Still, just because the world sucked didn’t mean the people in it had to. It didn’t mean everyone had to fear or expect the worst. Ryder never did. Even when they were kids and the worst of the worst happened, he had hope. And maybe Maren played her part in that, because she took so much of the fear away from him. But at the same time, he was always Ryder. He could lighten up anyone’s mood if given the chance. They would just have to listen and accept it.

“Hey thanks for that, Ry,” she smiled to him.

He raised an eyebrow in confusion. “For what?”

“For being my brother, you dope,” she lightly punched his shoulder. She looked at her phone, revealing she had less than forty-five minutes to get to work. “Hey I gotta get ready. But if you’re up when I get home I’ll actually tell you how it went today?”

“I’ll be up,” he agreed.

Maren hit him a high five and then pushed herself off the couch. Stuffing the rest of her sandwich in her mouth, she rushed to get everything together for her shift. Shirt…nametag…hat…jacket…keys…. After Maren set herself up and made sure she had everything, she was out the door and on her way to Oaken’s. She was feeling much better now that she had some time with Ryder. She completely underestimated how good he was to her and how he could make her feel better. For so long she thought he needed her; it turned out she also needed him.

Once Maren made it into the store, she took a pair of gloves from the box on top of customer service. She put them on and looked at the time clock. One minute to spare. Perfect. Once the last minute passed, she punched in and then turned around. Maren blinked. Something about the store was…different.

At the entrance to the registers there seemed to be traffic cones and caution tape set up. Maren raised an eyebrow. Tilting her body, she looked towards Aisles 6 or 7 where there would normally be a line of people for the registers. No one was there. She turned her head and looked towards self scan. It was the same set up. It appeared the caution tape looped around all of the registers somehow. What was going on?

“SELF SCAN NINE!”

Maren almost jumped back at the sudden scream of Nani’s voice. Maren rubbed her ear. She wasn’t even standing near Nani; the coworker was just louder than usual. Maren shook her head. She watched as the current customer left register nine and, as they walked in the direction of the exit, Elsa appeared from the same way.

Without any time to remotely think about the night before, Maren questioned the current situation. “Hey Elsa…what’s going on here?”

“Oaken came in before the store opened and set everything up. We’re reinforcing the six foot rule,” the blonde explained. She pointed down in the direction toward the exit, specifically where the first few aisles were. “We have one collective line forming down Aisle 3. When customers are done shopping, that is where they go. It’s one line regardless if they want a cashier or self scan. There’s tape on the floor marking the distance apart everyone should be. The cashiers pop out from their lane when they’re done with an order and Nani yells from self scan on the other side when one is available. I’ve been doing traffic control for the past hour to try and help everyone get used to the new setup. No word yet on whether anything else is changing.”

“So the blockade…” Maren started.

“Is a one-way leading to the registers, yes,” Elsa nodded. “Oaken left a detailed note explaining the setup and Cosgworth walked me through everything when I clocked in. If you can play traffic cop for a while, I can assist from customer service by making announcements reminding everyone of the new process. When it’s a customer’s turn just direct them into the one way and tell them which number to go to.”

“How busy has it been?” Maren inquired.

“Not terrible, but there are people who don’t yet understand or want to listen,” she answered. “If I need you to open, I’ll close the service desk and go back over. But in the meantime, please direct traffic?”

“Got it. I’ll throw my crap under one of the empty registers in the meantime. Any other rules?” Maren replied.

“Same item limits as usual. Exclusion of coupons and rain checks still apply,” she answered.

“Got it,” Maren nodded. She started down towards the other side of the store, but was quickly stopped by Elsa.

“Oh Maren! One more thing…” Elsa stepped behind customer service and Maren remained where she was, tilting her head in surprise. Elsa pulled out a bag from behind and offered it to her. “A peace offering. For…for last night. I…I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable about your name.”

Maren felt the heat rise in her. The reminder came flooding back. The way her full name flowed off Elsa’s lips so naturally. The way Elsa said, “Honey”. Even the way she implied that she’d use that name every time Maren used Angel. “Elsa…you didn’t have to….”

“I know. I wanted to,” she promised.

Maren reached into the plastic bag and pulled out a box of Reeses Puff’s as well as a bag of m&m’s and…was that a piece of paper? Maren raised an eyebrow. She set the bag down as well as the treats…dinner and dessert she assumed…and carefully pulled out the paper. It was blank at first glance, but then Elsa encouraged her to turn it around. Maren’s eyes widened at the site and her breath felt caught in her throat. She had no idea what to expect but it sure as hell wasn’t her.

Maren had to do a double take.

It seriously was her.

There, on the paper, was an almost perfectly proportioned – if not slightly animated – drawing of Maren. The colors were near perfect. The shade of her brown hair. The tone of her skin. The shading and even the colors of her top were spot on. How did Elsa know Maren gravitated towards earthy tones? Even the slightly sideways grin…the one Maren thought she only did when she was teasing or flirting…Elsa captured it perfectly. Did Maren really use it that often? The only thing that threw Maren off completely was her eyes. Not that Maren was one to pay attention to such a trivial detail; how many people looked at their eyes in the mirror? Maren always assumed her eyes were brown like her brother’s. But in Elsa’s sketch they were almost…golden. Golden like something. Something Maren couldn’t quite place her finger on.

“H…how…?” she stammered. She couldn’t even will herself to look at Elsa, let alone imagine the face the woman had right now. Was she as nervous as Maren was? Was she freaking out on any level? How could Elsa have handed her a plastic bag with food and a drawing like that so easily? Hell, _when_ did she even have time to make a drawing like that?

“Look closer,” she encouraged simply.

With little choice – or brainpower to think otherwise – Maren pulled the drawing closer to her eyes. She squinted. The portrait…there were shapes inside.

Honeycombs.

Elsa had created a portrait of Maren completely out of the shape of honeycombs.

Homage to her name.

The thing that Maren hated so much.

One of the things that caused Maren so much aggravation.

And Elsa made it seem so…so….

“It’s beautiful…” she breathed, barely audible.

“Well….”

Elsa’s voice came softly. She almost dragged it out in the process, like she was starting a statement. It sounded as if she was going to say more. Like she _needed_ to say something else. What else could Elsa have possibly said? What could Maren remotely need to know from Elsa?

Unless Elsa was going to dispute it. Was she seriously going to argue that this wasn’t an incredible drawing? Was she going to fight Maren on something she clearly made for her? Was she even remotely considering implying that it wasn’t a big deal? Even though it so obviously was?

But Maren would never know.

“Elsa…?”

Duty called. Elsa was needed at one of the registers, likely to deal with one of the usual issues. Of all the times Snow needed Elsa, it had to be now? Man, that girl caught onto being a sister quick! Pulling Elsa away from Maren like that. The taller woman offered Maren an apologetic smile, one Maren barely caught, before heading over to her coworker.

And even though Maren was on the clock and by all means should tend to the slowly growing madhouse, all she could do was continue to stare at the wonder and beauty of the sketch in complete disbelief. Elsa made it. For Maren. She took the time, effort, and energy to make something for Maren. Something absolutely breathtaking. Maren had never gotten anything like it before. Her heart raced as she struggled not to pull the paper close to her, afraid of wrinkling it in the process.

Elsa was just….

Maren thought she had it under control but….

Was it possible to fall any harder for that woman?

Oh shit.

This was so much more than just a crush, wasn’t it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll leave it up to your imaginations what you think Elsa would've finished saying to Maren 0=)
> 
> The ending and the reveal of exactly what Elsa drew was obviously the key point, if not highlight of the chapter. And it's executed kind of as a contrast to the rest of the chapter for a couple of reasons. The first reason is, unlike Elsa, Maren doesn't seem like someone who would get in her head too much. Or, at least not in the same way Elsa does. Maybe Maren does create a few conclusions in her head or have a lot of questions swirling in there, but when she has something or someone else with her, her focus is on that almost completely. There's much fewer times where her mind wanders to what was bothering her in the first place, as opposed to Elsa who always seems to go back to it. The other reason is, Maren knows exactly what to expect with Ryder. She expects his quirks, she expects his innocence, and she expects comfort with him. She doesn't always know what to expect with Elsa. And it's almost funny in a way, because working in retail - and i'm sure, to an extent this applies to other essential workers during the pandemic as well - we see more of our coworkers than we do our own families. Personally, i'm sad to admit that i've probably said 'i love you' to my coworkers more than my own mother just because i'm that excited to be saved from self scan and to be able to get the hell out of that dump for maybe 10 hours. And it's so easy to forget that, especially when we're close with our families, how important they are and how much we need them to get through this, too. We don't even realize until they point out to us how little we've seen them or talked to them about our day. The work and amount of time that we work doesn't just take a toll on us - personally, mentally, physically, and emotionally - sometimes it also takes a toll on the people in our lives outside of work as well.
> 
> So now Maren's had a chance to reconnect with her brother some more and finally admit that he was right in saying she'd become friends with her coworkers. And just as she thought she was all calm and had a nice distraction in place, here comes Elsa with her gift and just falling short of maybe admitting that Maren is also beautiful, causing Maren to admit that she's actually quite possibly falling for her. But then again, who wouldn't! Also, Disney easter eggs in the mentions of Attina and Gazelle; i was debating on using an actual singer for that one comment but i went the simple route as opposed to the indecisive one.
> 
> I usually try to post a second weekly update on Friday or Saturday, but this weekend is actually going to be pretty busy for me outside of work. So instead my next update will come Thursday before i go into work and will likely come equipped with long chapter notes which i will also apologize for upon posting. As always, thank you guys so much for continuing to read this and put up with my insane retail shenanigans for the sake of Elsamaren. To every other essential worker who's dealing with the same transition as i am with this pandemic and dealing with more people and less face masks, hang in there! You made it this far, you're doing incredibly amazing, keep it up, and no one can thank you enough for all of the long and hard work you're doing! And to the workers who are just starting to reopen and work in this ongoing mess with the rest of us? Best of luck out there!


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i primarily spent today just rereading the previous chapters. If it seemed like there were a lot of updates at once, that was just be adjusting a few typos in some chapters. It's also kind of crazy for me to go back and reread all that, because for anyone who started this from the beginning and just willingly read everything all at once to catch up.... Holy crap you put up with a lot with me! Maybe it's my self-criticism and lack of self-esteem talking, but i definitely would not have been able to put up with all of that unless i started maybe when Maren and Elsa adopted Snow. XD Anyway i got a bunch of comments here, i kinda get the feeling you guys like it most when its all about Elsamaren and you can basically scream at the screen for them being useless lol. But i'm so glad that means you guys are into it and believing them.  
> @Chiara - First of all thank you for reminding me that i have another interaction with Anna to write. That was one of the missing pieces to the next sequence of events playing in my head. Can't say it'll come up within the next couple of chapters, but i promise the meeting with Anna will be exactly what Elsa will need and the meeting with Kristoff is on its way!  
> @holographicbubbles - You may absolutely scream, i say after reading the longest (and hopefully excited) scream ever! Thank you because that's a reaction at the end of last chapter i was hoping for!  
> @Ravrav - Thank you. You mentioning the way the characters speak is one of the other reasons i don't think i'd go back and change anything, because i do hope that it does show some sort of development happening there. As much as i think there should absolutely be more fluidity in the beginning, my reasoning stands that even now looking back at it i have no idea how to make that possible when, not just in retail but sometimes in general, we have no idea what to expect going into something. So in its own messed up way it fits and is not at all because i'm lazy and clueless! XD I hope you enjoyed the interlude because there is gonna be some heaviness returning. And just keep the cute as hell drawing in mind because i think we all need that to get through at least this chapter. I promise, i will also be screaming at the screen with you and cheering for these useless lesbians/queers!  
> @MLauren - I kept having to reread your comment because it never stops blowing my mind that multiple people are reading this. Especially people who know each other. I know it should be semi obvious because of the comments, but somehow it just never fully computes with me! As to the rest. One of those characters will begin connecting the dots before the rest, but i won't say who or how! I will say though, it won't be the last you hear from Ryder and he is just an innocent naive little hopeless romantic sap that wants to see his sister happy. But i think that's what i've enjoyed about writing him here. You are also totally right about m&m's, what do you think i ear with dinner before work every night lol. And the 'mystery woman' plot is probably worse because it's hardly mentioned and i am so sorry about that. It's not forgotten, it just turned out to not be as important as i (or Maren) originally thought. But you haven't completely heard the end of it yet! Thank you so much for taking the time to catch up on this mess of a story!  
> @T2Boy2 - I'm sorry in advance, but this won't be the last time you yell "Honeymaren Naturra you idiot". XD I was working on a chapter earlier this week, i think it's a couple away from this one, i was yelling the same thing as i wrote it. Also, as a chocoholic, i cannot deny the inclusion or importance that is m&m's!  
> @Domika83 - Thank you so much! You can comment as much or little as you want. I keep saying, even though i probably shouldn't, i'm surprised anyone comments on this! XD I appreciate you saying you're being a more aware customer now. It's absolutely not to call anyone out ever, but the retail stories here are absolutely real and as much as it's the cynical person in me thinking otherwise, i'm sure a lot of people don't realize how common it all is. And the discord server sounds absolutely amazing! I will definitely follow you on Twitter (it'll be fuzziekinsBLM) but i probably won't be online much again until after this crazy weekend. I appreciate that so much!  
> @iDragonSpyro - Ok i love that so much, would you mind terrible if i used Gay Idiots as a tag in this? 0=)  
> @fanficfruitts - Hey, welcome back! :) i'm glad you're enjoying everything about catching up from Maren calling Elsa Angel to the reveal of her gift to Maren!
> 
> This one has been rough one to write and the explanation will come at the end. It's a horrible one for all the wrong reasons; triggers may be involved, specifically with the horrible customer story. All i can say is, sadly, you'll see what i mean.

The next couple of days felt much less hectic.

Well, as far as Elsa’s mental health was considered.

The store was going insane over the new setup.

But at least it was a good distraction. Elsa didn’t have the time, patience, or focus to worry about anything else. Which meant a chance to get her mind off of Maren.

Wait, who?

She didn’t mean that.

Whatever.

For the first time in forever there had actually been a staff meeting. After closing on Wednesday night, Oaken gathered the employees in front of the service desk. He explained to everyone personally how the new setup was going to work, in the case of any confusion. Since Aisle 3 was the aisle containing primarily office supplies and cards, it wasn’t typically as crammed as the others; this explained why Oaken thought it best to set up one consecutive checkout line there. An ‘aisle’ was set up parallel to the registers, with an opening starting just after Aisle 3 and leading to the end of self scan, with a display blocking off after register nine. An arrow was taped to the bottom of the floor leading into the one-way and, when possible, an associate would direct customers from the checkout line into the one-way and to the next available register, be it a cashier or self scan. The only downside was, as self scan was at the opposite end of the store, the attendant would have to yell across when one of the three was opening.

Elsa would have to remember to work out a solution for that. Perhaps an announcement from the service desk, if it was possible, or investing in a megaphone.

The one-way was created using traffic cones and caution tape, among a couple of displays. Some customers still seemed to find a way to sneak under the tape or even squeeze between the traffic cones. This was going to take some getting used to. Elsa made a note that an announcement should be made at least once every half hour to remind customers of the new setup. If they were really going to enforce the six-foot rule, then the one way was the best chance at separating customers checking out from the ones shopping.

Oaken was also hoping to enforce the distance between employees as well, although he noted that it was going to be a bit of a challenge when it got busy in the store.

Elsa made sure to write on her clipboard how many times Oaken brought up the topic of facemasks. While they weren’t a requirement yet Oaken did say that, until they were told otherwise, everyone had the option to wear a facemask, scarf, or bandana. It was a matter of what everyone felt comfortable with. He made it no secret that he didn’t want to force anything on his employees they were not comfortable with.

That could have also been why he asked if anyone wanted to back out.

What were his words, exactly…?

_“If anyone has any questions or concerns please see me. I do not want any of you to feel uncomfortable working here. If anyone at any point would like to take a leave of absence until this has all blown over, please see me and I will do whatever I can to ensure your paycheck does not suffer. Your health is the most important thing.”_

Or something to that effect, anyway.

And in a much thicker accent that Elsa would never personally try to replicate.

What she didn’t expect, however, was for everyone to look at her as if she had an answer to the question. Why did it matter if Elsa continued to work there? Everyone was more than capable of making their own decisions. If anyone decided to continue working and potentially put themselves or their families at risk just because of Elsa, she’d never forgive herself. For Elsa, it was a no-brainer; this was her job and as long as she was able, she was going to continue working. The store and Oaken were both counting on her; she couldn’t let them down. Why should everyone be obligated to follow her so blindly?

She could recall the exchange almost perfectly.

_Elsa’s head darted back and forth in confusion, wondering at first why her coworkers were eyeing her so expectantly. “What is it…?”_

_“What do you think is best?” Snow asked._

_“That…. That is not up to me. Of course I’m going to stay. But…” Elsa would have continued, but Nani cut her off._

_“Alright then. If Elsa stays, I stay.”_

_“Nani!”_

_But she was unfazed. “Hey if I gotta keep working in this mess, it’s gonna be with people I trust. I’m not going anywhere not knowing what I’m getting into. You know what you’re doing, Elsa. You got our backs. I got yours, too.”_

_“I don’t think any of us want to be out here if we don’t have to be,” Ella commented simply. “I agree with you. I’m going to continue working regardless. But it’s so much easier to get through something when we’re with people we can count on. So many people right now are too focused on themselves and have a sour attitude. Here? We don’t have that. It’s like Nani said; we watch over each other. You do that for us and we give you the same in return. It’s not going to get any easier working through this. But we’ll survive and thrive so much easier if we do it together.”_

_“But none of you should feel obligated to stay because I am. This is not my decision to make for everyone. What about your families? Nani, you have Lilo. And Snow, your uncles…” Elsa attempted to explain._

_“Who need me working right now,” the teen finished. “I’ll be careful. I’ve_ been _careful. I want to be able to do this for them. And I’m not going to let them or you down.”_

_“Snow, you could never,” Elsa shook her head._

_“And that’s exactly why she has us,” Maren pointed out. She placed a hand on Snow’s shoulder, and then signaled to Elsa followed by the group as a whole. “We look out for her just like you look out for us. We’re not sticking around cause we want or need to or because you’re making us. We’re doing this because we trust you. In here, we’re….” The brunette paused, snapping her fingers while she tried to think of the right wording._

_“We’re a family,” Snow finished with a smile._

_“No, that’s not it,” Maren shook her head. She offered her signature crooked smile, along with a slight chuckle. “I mean if we are we’re a pretty dysfunctional one. And if that is what this is, then you’re more than the Snow Queen or some boss or leader. You’re the matriarch here. And that’s kind of a much bigger deal.”_

_“Dramatic much?” Nani smirked._

_“Hey, I’m trying to make a point,” Maren commented._

_“And the point is that we’re not staying because you are. We’re staying for you,” Snow said. “Isn’t that what families are supposed to do?”_

Family.

All of them.

Not just Snow.

And kind of Maren but in a way Elsa couldn’t quite describe.

Everyone.

For so long Elsa had assumed her only family would be Anna. And when Kristoff came into the picture, as did Bruni and Sven, Elsa allowed her world to grow a little bigger. She accepted that her family had reached his maximum capacity; that the only time it would possibly grow bigger was when Anna would start having kids. Anything other than that might as well have been a foreign concept to Elsa. But the way her coworkers rallied around her? The way they accepted her answer? The way they trusted her judgment? The way that they were willing to continue putting themselves at risk just because she was? Because Elsa had too strong of a work ethic and didn’t take a moment to think of how it would affect her? They were all following her lead, trusting her gut and not giving it a second thought.

They had complete and utter belief in Elsa.

She couldn’t let them down. So from this point on, Elsa made the decision that she was going to do whatever she could in her power to protect her coworkers. Whatever she needed to do to keep them out of trouble. Whatever she could do to help them and look out for them. She had to make sure that nothing would happen to them.

She wanted to believe that in the days that followed she made good on that promise. It had been hectic. She had to run back and forth so much between playing traffic cop and watching the service desk. She lost count of how many times she had to visit the same register throughout her shift. She trusted her coworkers completely in the way that they trusted her. Snow. Nani. Ella. Maren. Even occasionally Fred, when he stayed late.

With an hour left now until the store closed, things were finally starting to settle down. There appeared to be few people shopping and no line, at least for the moment. Elsa stood perched behind customer service, keeping an eye on the store while occasionally glancing down at her phone if, for any other reason, attempting to look busy. Fred and Snow were on register, Maren was at self scan, and Ella was returning unwanted perishables to their proper locations. Elsa glanced up briefly, eyes falling on Maren’s back.

She was fortunate enough not to be able to think about the woman so much since giving her the drawing. Elsa wished she could explain why she went through with it. All she could remember was getting a burst of inspiration and the next thing she knew she was just…lost in the moment. She had gotten so focused on getting the proportions as exact as possible. Blending the colors to get just the right shade for Maren’s skin. Capturing the sparkle of honey in her eyes. Making sure the honeycombs within the drawing were as even as possible.

Elsa had gotten lost in her designs before, whether they were sketches of inspiration or putting together an actual sculpture. Rarely, if ever, was it because she was making it for someone. Someone who actually mattered to her.

Elsa shook her head. She preferred it when it was busy. Then she could stop letting her thoughts wander like that. Ugh, she could almost hear Maren’s voice echoing.

“Elsa.”

That damn lower register. It was almost so natural yet could quickly escalate to a higher pitch. Admittedly nothing like the ones Elsa or Snow could reach. But still addicting nonetheless.

“Hey.”

Elsa blinked. Shit how long had Maren been standing right in front of the service desk?

“Hi…”

Great. Now what?

“Um…is everything alright?”

“What? Oh…yeah, actually,” she confessed. “Happy to report self scan hasn’t self-destructed yet.”

“Give it time. I’m sure it will,” Elsa commented. Shaking her head, she removed her hands from the desk and approached the outside. “Sorry. You are still getting used to it. I suppose that wasn’t very encouraging.”

“Oh, I know you were joking,” Maren promised. “Of course I kind of wish Nani was when she said I’d be hearing the voice in my sleep.”

“Already? That was fast,” the blonde observed.

“The rushes do that, I guess,” Maren shrugged.

“Especially now. It’s your first eight-hour shift and covering self scan alone. How does it feel?” Elsa asked.

Maren clicked her tongue. “Weird…kind of. But that may also be because I’m Nani for the day. I feel like I need to do a different voice or grow a couple of inches or something to be able to pull her off.”

“You’re doing fine. I would not change a thing about you,” Elsa promised.

Realizing what she said; how effortlessly it came out; almost with natural warmth; Elsa turned her head to the side. She hoped that didn’t sound….

She wasn’t flirting, was she?

No.

It was a compliment.

A perfectly normal, polite, well-intentioned compliment.

There was absolutely nothing behind it.

“Hey…uh….”

Maren’s voice caused Elsa’s eyes to snap right back to her. The brunette rubbed the back of her head slightly and her head had also been turned to the side. That wasn’t…pink mixed in her cheeks, was it? No! Maren wasn’t blushing. Maren didn’t blush. Unless Elsa embarrassed her somehow. Or made her uncomfortable.

“I never got to say thanks…. For, for the drawing, I mean,” Maren finished.

Elsa blinked. Oh! The drawing. The thing that she had given to Maren along with the cereal and m&m’s. The thing she had drawn specifically for Maren. The thing that she had just been thinking about. The thing that almost caused her mind to run mad. Dammit.

“Oh…It’s…. It’s nothing. Just…just something I wanted to do,” Elsa said in hopes of brushing it off. Because that always worked so well.

“You didn’t have to. But, but I love it. It’s…it’s absolutely incredible. I get why you went into art. It’s…it’s really a gift you have,” she complimented.

Elsa shook her head. “It’s nothing, really.” She had to turn this around. Get Maren to stop showering her with so many wonderful compliments. Compliments that Elsa couldn’t possibly deserve. “I…I should also thank you. For what you said at the staff meeting. Not…not just you, I mean everyone. You as in collectively but…well, you’re actually standing right here. So….”

Oh no she was _not_ babbling right now!

Maren chuckled. “I know what you mean.”

Elsa held in a sigh of relief. While she couldn’t pinpoint whether Maren was laughing because she was making fun of Elsa or simply because she thought it was cute, at least she knew what Elsa was trying to say.

Though she highly doubted it was because her babbling was cute.

It wasn’t cute. It was embarrassing.

“Hey. I can’t speak for everyone but I know I can speak for myself and Snow when I say we meant what we said. About trusting you and wanting to do this with you. I’m pretty sure Nani and Ella were being honest, too, but…I just figured I should say it.” The shorter woman paused, rocking on her heels slightly. “Also…that whole…you know…matriarch comment…. It, it wasn’t too much, was it?”

“I’ve grown more accustomed to Snow Queen,” Elsa answered honestly. “I don’t think I deserve a title like that.”

“You’re all those things and more, Angel,” she promised. “Uh…s…sorry…. I just….”

“I know.” Elsa attempted and failed to conceal a blush at the mention of the name. “Um…thank you for not using that before, by the way.”

“Of course. I, I mean if anyone….”

“Exactly.”

“I’ll make sure to keep it on the down low.”

“I know.”

“Unless you wanted me to….”

“No.”

No she didn’t want Maren to stop calling her that. She wished she could explain it. When Elsa heard that word slip through Maren’s lips the first time it…it kind of drove Elsa crazy. There were so many questions running through her head. It didn’t sound right. It didn’t feel right. But the way Maren said it…and so effortlessly…. It almost didn’t sound bad. In so many ways it should have been. And the second it slipped the first time, Elsa should have shut it down. But she didn’t. She couldn’t.

She liked it.

She wished she knew why or that she had the words to explain it.

All she knew was that she really liked it.

“So!” Maren squeaked. She must have realized how high and quick that was, as if she was trying to ease some sort of dramatic tension. Clearing her throat, Maren quickly straightened her posture and placed her hands on her hips, the lanyard with the self scan card dangling from her wrist. “So.”

Because her speaking in a deep voice made things so much less awkward.

“This is what it’s like watching self scan when it’s a ghost town, huh?”

“Pretty much,” Elsa shrugged. “You learn to keep busy. Checking your phone is the norm, even though we’re not supposed to. Nani does it all the time, but she reacts in the blink of an eye.”

“Yeah, what does she have, a second set of eyes or something?” Maren raised an eyebrow.

“Sometimes it sure seems that way,” Elsa nodded.

“So that’s always been her thing? Kind of like the way she’ll be watching self scan but at the same time she’ll be looking in another direction with that look like she’s reading your mind?” Maren asked.

“That’s Nani,” Elsa responded with a faint giggle. “Actually there was this one time-”

“DON’T YOU TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”

Maren’s head jerked back. Elsa’s eyebrows furrowed. From seemingly out of nowhere came…Elsa wouldn’t describe it as a scream exactly, as the voice had a more throaty quality to it, perhaps a snap if anything. There was the faintest accent to it, though Elsa couldn’t quite pinpoint its origin. One thing was for certain; they were in for another horrible ride.

“Wait…what was that?”

The two of them turned their heads. At the head of register five they could see Snow, who seemed to have been standing there to meet and greet any customers waiting on line. Directly in front of her was an older gentleman, clearly disregarding the six-foot rule and seemed to have Snow backed up against the magazine rack to her register. Maren and Elsa briefly exchanged a look. What the hell was going on…?

“Sir, the line starts…” Snow began, but was abruptly cut off.

“There is no line, you twit! I don’t have to wait anywhere!”

“But still….”

“I SAID DON’T FUCKING TELL ME WHAT TO DO!”

Elsa’s hand snapped up to her mouth. Without even looking at Maren she could see the rage burning in her eyes.

“Oh no he didn’t…”

“Maren, stay put, please,” Elsa hushed. “Snow!” She quietly directed Snow to leave her register and come to her and Maren. Elsa kept her blue pools on the teen carefully, but as Snow turned off her light and walked over Elsa made sure to lean forward in an attempt to get a better look at the man.

For someone with such a big mouth he was shorter than she expected. Big glasses…baldhead…white skin…huge mustache…was that why his voice was so throaty? Because his mustache got flung into his mouth all the time? She shook her head; that didn’t matter. Thank the retail gods that Fred was still on register and the customer was storming to him instead.

“Hey. You ok, Sis?” Maren asked, offering a hand to Snow.

“I think so…” she nodded, though a bit shaky. She accepted Maren’s embrace and leaned into her.

Elsa eyed the customer. Or, at least she tried to. She could see Fred on register two, seeming to begin scanning a couple of items. She didn’t hear his voice, but she could hear the older gentleman continuing his fit.

“The nerve of that girl, telling me what to do! Who does she think she is???”

Elsa shook her head. Turning her back to the register, she focused her attention on her pseudo-sister. “Snow, what happened?”

“I just asked him to wait on the line in Aisle 3….” She breathed.

Elsa would have asked if Snow knew whether there was a line or not for sure. But that didn’t matter. She did exactly what she was supposed to; whether there were any customers waiting or not, everyone was supposed to stand in front of that aisle and wait to be directed to a register. There seemed to be no one there a few moments ago, at least not to Elsa’s knowledge. But even so, rules were rules. No one was to enter the one-way except via the specified location. It didn’t take rocket science to realize where this was going.

“He went under the tape didn’t he?” she exhaled.

To that, Snow nodded. “I told him he couldn’t….”

“It’s ok. You did the right thing. He is being impatient and entitled. He’s taking it out on you,” Elsa promised. “That doesn’t make it right. You can stand here with us until he leaves. Fred’s got this.”

“She thinks she can tell me what to do? I can do whatever the hell I want! I don’t need to listen to her! That little bitch!” the man continued.

Elsa instinctively raised her arm straight out in front of Snow and Maren, as if that would remotely be enough to serve as a barrier.

“Elsa…” Maren hissed.

Her breath hitched. “I know, I know,” she forced out. Maren wanted to do something. She couldn’t stand back and let that guy keep putting down Snow the way he was. Whether it was as bad as or worse than the customer with the waters, Elsa couldn’t say for sure just yet. If there was any silver lining, it was that they were on the opposite end of the store from him this time.

Elsa just wished she could think. What was the right thing to do? It didn’t appear that Fred was reacting other than simply scanning. That was a good thing. And although Elsa knew by all means she should go over and attempt to calm the man down, she couldn’t bring herself to step away from Maren and Snow. The poor child was likely on the verge of freaking out again and Maren was only acting on her instinct to protect. But it was Elsa’s job to protect, too. It was just a matter of how.

Should she go over and give him a piece of her mind?

Or did she stay in her current position with…with her… _family_ – how the hell did she even just think that? – In case he dared to step over and yell in their faces?

It was a difficult predicament. Either way Elsa felt as though she were making a wrong decision. She was wrong to leave Snow and Maren, as if she were deserting them somehow if she did walk away to deal with the customer – the Weasel, she was now going to call him – and she was wrong to step over to Weasel lest she cause an even bigger scene as a result.

“Excuse me…?”

Oh no. Now what?

Elsa turned her head. On the other side of the one way there was a customer signaling Elsa over.

Now she had to be in three locations at once. Why did today have to be Nani’s day off? Elsa could really use the backup right about now.

The blonde held up a finger, silently asking the customer to wait a moment. Then she turned on her heel to Snow and Maren. “Both of you; don’t move. Please. Maren, don’t engage. Snow, stay with Maren. Don’t go back on register until he leaves.”

“But…” the shorter woman started.

Elsa held up her hands in defense. “I know…. I know.” It pained her to say it; she hoped it was obvious how much it hurt her to tell Maren to hold back. One of the last things she wanted to do was to go back on her word. She told Maren to stop concealing. And what was she doing now? Asking her to conceal. It wasn’t fair. But what else could she do? “Just…. Trust me. Please.”

Reluctantly, she stepped away from the two of them.

Elsa flinched hearing another comment from Weasel as she walked. “You know this is such a socialist country we’re living in right now!”

Conceal; don’t feel. Conceal; don’t feel, she thought to herself.

What a hypocrite.

Once she cut through the self scan and reached the other side, Elsa attempted to keep her calmest face possible. “Is everything alright?”

Aside from the dick at register two, she thought.

“I was just wondering how to check out with self scan,” the woman replied.

Elsa held in a sigh of relief. Thank god, something simple from someone who wasn’t throwing a fit.

She was about to direct her to the other side of the store, where the entrance to the one-way was. Except there was still that Weasel on register two. Shit. And after what just happened, Elsa couldn’t let the woman cut underneath the caution tape. There had to be another solution…. Oh!

She pointed around the opposite end of the last self scan; register nine. There was enough space to cut around and come in through the opposite end. Even though that technically wasn’t allowed either, it was better than either of the alternatives. “Come around this side and enter through the exit. You can go to any of the three self scans.”

As the customer looped around, Elsa returned to Snow and Maren. Before she could say anything else, Weasel let his voice be heard again. With each passing complaint his voice somehow grew louder and angrier. But the next comment to leave his mouth was something Elsa never thought she would hear, especially not within the walls of Oaken’s.

“I’d better not end up like that black guy!”

If there were ever a moment where there were sharp daggers cutting through the thin air, it was that moment.

Even in the short amount of time Elsa had run her father’s company, not once had she heard such a horrid, cold-hearted, disrespectful, and downright ignorant comment.

Immediately her eyes darted to Maren, who had visibly grown more furious. And understandably so. The shorter woman took all of two steps forward before Elsa dashed in front of her, holding up her hands as if that were going to make her halt.

“Maren. Break room. Now.”

“Elsa did you…?”

“I know. Go. Now.”

“But that was…”

“I know.”

“No! No you don’t!”

“Maren. Please.”

“I’m not standing back this time.”

She walked around Elsa, getting as far as register five. Elsa had to act quickly. If that Weasel was really as insensitive and racist as his comment was, Elsa couldn’t let Maren get a step closer to him. She couldn’t let anything happen. Not to Maren. She was not about to let her put herself at risk like that.

Shaking her head, Elsa slid in front of her coworker. Without thinking, she held her arms out. Her hands landed on Maren’s shoulders, forcing the woman to stop for the moment. Elsa’s fingers scrunched at the sudden contact, but she forced herself to hold her ground. If this was the only way to get Maren to stop, if it was the only way to keep her safe, then so be it.

“Honeymaren, stop! Take your break. Go to the break room. Stay back there. I’ll watch self scan. Just don’t….”

Don’t what?

Don’t react?

Don’t give that Weasel what he clearly deserved?

Don’t get hurt?

Don’t….

“Just…” Elsa paused, forcing the next words to come out with as much authority as possible. But even her restraint didn’t seem to stand a chance against her emotions. There was still a hoarseness that escaped her. A fear, almost. “Don’t…. Please.”

There was a long pause. Elsa could feel her arms shaking; she hoped Maren didn’t feel that against her own body. But if she didn’t tell Maren that…if she didn’t remove her from the situation…how else was her safety ensured? What else could Elsa do?

Not a damn thing.

Yet by some stroke of luck, even with the raging fire still burning in her eyes and the discomfort in her body painfully obvious, Maren pulled back and dropped the self scan card before leaving the front end.

Elsa couldn’t begin to imagine how difficult that was for Maren. How painful that was to hear anyone say that, let alone to have that kind of reaction from her boss. While that was far from Elsa’s intentions, she knew as soon as Maren had her back turned that she made a mistake. God, what the hell was she going to do to make it up to her? What could Elsa possibly do now?

She didn’t just let down her coworker. She let down her friend. She let down her family.

She was sure the voice of everyone else in the store was muffled by now.

Weasel yelling about how he was going to be damned if he’d end up like that guy. About how he deserved to be treated better than that and about the bullshit he was getting from the store.

Snow running over to Elsa and asking if she was ok. Even the grasp of Snow’s hand on Elsa’s felt numb. For once the touch of someone else didn’t bother her; it was as faded from her mind as everyone’s voices.

She had no idea how the hell she even heard the customer from self scan walk over and ask if she should call the cops.

In any other instance, Elsa might have said no. If, for any other reason, because the last thing she wanted was to cause a scene. And because she knew by the time they arrived the situation would be well over.

But there was already a scene.

The damage had already been done.

At this point it didn’t matter if Weasel was still there or long gone.

Her answer was clear as day.

“Yes. Please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off let me apologize for the crazy long notes that accompany this chapter. I believe for a few chapters i've mentioned struggling with a rather difficult one. This was the one. I have no idea if i have the right to write any of this, if i'm writing it with any justice, if it's done well (all things considered), or if there was even a point to adding this when it was such a struggle in the first place. Even as of this posting i'm still not sure if it's the right thing to do. And although it did help as a jumping point for some of the next chapters, that wasn't my intention. And everything i'm sharing in this end note...there aren't enough words or enough space. This whole note is the bare minimum.
> 
> This incident happened at the beginning of the month, and i think it's obvious what the Weasel was referencing. Almost everything he said, save for calling Snow a little b-tch (the actual customer dealt with an older coworker as opposed to a teen) was word for word. There were two reasons i decided to put the time and effort to include this chapter. I'll get the selfish reasoning first. I was at self scan when this happened. I only caught a glimpse of the customer as he left. I heard him yell all that, i heard one of the stockers yell at him to lower his voice, but other than that no one including me said or did anything. It wasn't until about 5 minutes after he left, a customer that came to self scan who overheard him because he was THAT loud, asked if he was still there because she was thinking of calling the cops. And even if i personally could not have said or done anything - including calling the police for disturbance of the peace, since it seemed the whole store heard him - because i was at self scan in the middle of helping customers and couldn't walk away, it doesn't eliminate the guilt i felt for basically letting him get away with that last horrible comment. And, much like the rest of this story, this was me projecting and venting.
> 
> The other reason is, i felt that not saying anything with this chapter was worse than posting it. If i kept quiet and didn't share that, as unbelievable as this sounds, a situation or customer like that really CAN happen, that would be implying that something so low, rude, horrible, and ignorant to say the least doesn't happen. In the 6 years i've been in retail, it was the first time i heard a comment as terrible as that one. There is too much wrong with it to put into words. And it wasn't right for those words to go unpunished. This actually happened. This was an old white guy who thought that, just because he believed he was above the rules, was going to get killed like a person of color who actually did nothing wrong. He had absolutely no right. The next person can't get away with that.
> 
> I know the situation is so much different if we looked at it from Maren's point of view. And as much as i debated writing the aftermath of Maren and Elsa with this, i knew i'd never be able to get it right. Though there will be implications following, it didn't feel right for me to fully expand. Ignoring Elsa's mixed heritage and that she obviously passes for white, it was easier to write from her perspective as the employee. And, even though someone should have said or done something IRL, i unfortunately understand as a worker why it may not have been possible. Because we have so many things at once to think about and figure out, when something does happen, what is worth it. And with how quickly the IRL Weasel was done with his order, paid, and left, maybe calling someone wouldn't have made a difference. I have no idea. And there is no way to know. At the end of the day, it wasn't ok, it wasn't right, I didn't feel right, and i can only wonder how my supervisor felt in the position of power trying to figure out what to do or not do. But as i said, with so many other retail stories i've shared here, this isn't an exaggeration. 
> 
> Originally this chapter was going to focus on the staff meeting; there was going to be more in-depth interaction with the characters, Fred included, but to keep with the new purpose i kept the summary simple and gave a more detailed description of the store setup. And the new purpose was, this chapter started as showing Elsa basically accepting these coworkers as her family; but after the Weasel, it felt more like she failed and went back to square one. Especially with Maren, and when they were having a moment in the beginning, too. This is not going to be the last fall or the last bout of conflicts, but this will likely be as low or shocking as it gets.
> 
> Thank you as always for the hits, kudos, and comments. I will brace myself for the onslaught of horror to follow this particular installment. And it may not seem like not much now, but i promise there are better things to come. Particularly in this story because reality is without a doubt the worst. Hang in there everyone.


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok sometimes i get the feeling you guys enjoy making a liar outta me lol. I expect one thing and you all turn it around and make it into something amazing. I kept thinking, because of the content of the last chapter i can't possibly have any right sharing that, there's no way i should be implying how it affects anyone, especially Maren...and i think everyone has only commented how intense it was. Which is probably a good thing, because that is what i was going for. XD I also wanna unofficially (or is it officially?) say thank you for letting my quirky butt join a Discord server where we can fangirl about Elsamaren and just giving me a place despite the fact that i'm absolutely horrible commenting on peoples' things! It just feels so welcoming and encouraging there. It also probably negates the need to respond to comments here but i'm gonna keep doing it anyway for consistency reasons. Feel free to skip right to the chapter!  
> @T2Boy2 - At least it was a break from yelling, MAREN YOU IDIOT. Also feel free to yell at my to shut the hell up by the way XD  
> @fanficfruitts - Even worse, Elsa had to handle a bigot who was the Duke of Weasletown (i know what i said)! Elsa was just more terrified for Maren and hearing what the Weasel said, she didn't wanna see something happen.  
> @Andreu - Confession every time someone describes one of these retail story retellings as realistic i have do a double take and remind myself, oh yeah that actually did happen, how the hell does anyone actually believe me because by all accounts they should sound absolutely unrealistic! xD  
> @MLauren - i'm definitely happy i went with the Elsamaren interaction in the beginning as opposed to my original idea. Not even just because it upped the intensity afterwards, Elsamaren is just much more fun and adorable to write!  
> @Hugo_renfield - AU of this AU is where one of their coworkers finally can't take it anymore and actually do lock Elsamaren in a closet! XD There were a few attempts to keep Elsamaren's interaction going after and see the direct aftermath but ultimately it wasn't translating to paper...or laptop...from my head the way it should have. But there will be hints of it from this chapter courtesy of Maren.  
> @Ravrav - i like to think that out of anyone who could have heard Elsa call Maren by her full name was Snow which may or may not come back to haunt her later on.... 0=) Although i thought briefly about changing it to Honey except there's that whole trope about when you really care about someone you call them by their actual name and not the nickname. Either way, Maren definitely has some thoughts!  
> @Ann - i think the other reason i used Honey over Honeymaren is because Maren only heard it from Elsa once at this point, and in a more playful way. And it had me thinking, well not that hearing Honey in that moment would mean anything negative but would Maren suddenly always think back to that incident if Elsa did use the name Honey again? No, don't ruin it for Maren, she's tortured enough working in retail! But this has definitely been an outlet for me and i just always appreciate the fact that somehow, regardless of the people and the setting, it's been enjoyable for people to read.  
> @holographicbubbles - YESSSS i know this isn't the first time anyone has said it's so obvious Elsa likes Maren but your comment is just, YESSSS IT'S SO OBVIOUS NOW IT'S NOT JUST US! Don't worry, i know what you meant, although i assumed we should all be clams because that really would be better. i personally imagine everyone being puppies and kitties instead but it's still so nice to see someone agree!  
> @coldname - i can only imagine what was going on through my supervisor's head with that customer. It's one thing for us as employees to react on a thing but everything ultimately puts more pressure on the boss. My coworker is ok; she's been in retail for i don't even know how long so she's seen plenty of sh-t, but it never gets less surprising how horrible some people can be. But last chapter inadvertantly turned into the thing that maybe end up giving both Maren and Elsa the step forward they need. Or, at least one of the steps forward. There's still a few steps involved.  
> @LethyMay - You're doing totally fine with your English, no need to worry! :) i'm sorry it was such a roller coaster of a ride and will continue to be that way. If it makes you feel any better, i'm torturing myself with it, too! But just...daaaaaang thank you for all the time you put into reading this!
> 
> We now return to your regularly scheduled update.

The day ticked by slowly. Maren barely paid attention in her online class. There was a pop quiz in preparation for the final and Maren completely bs-ed it. To say she was in a daze might as well have been an understatement.

She wouldn’t say she was still lost in the night before. She wanted to forget about it. Not just about the Weasel and what he said. But the way Elsa reacted.

It was not what Maren expected from her at all. And though she wasn’t going to admit she was wrong for basically tuning the woman out and blaming her, sooner or later she was going to hear that she was. Maren let her anger and discomfort get the better of her. The truth was that last night; she didn’t feel like the hard-working woman Elsa put her trust in. She felt like a troubled child who had to be handled. Elsa didn’t trust her in that moment to control herself. She didn’t trust Maren to say what she wanted to say – what she _needed_ to say – before storming off. She had to physically hold her back. She had to use her full name. The name that, upon first hearing it was met with a joyous laughter and a warm aura, a name that sounded too beautiful to belong to Maren. Instead of invigorating such positive emotions, it brought turmoil. Outside of the first day of classes, Maren only heard her full name when she was being punished.

She was being punished for reacting.

She was being punished for feeling hurt.

She was being punished for being herself.

It was far from the truth, but in that particular moment last night it was what Maren felt was accurate. It didn’t matter how good Elsa’s intentions were or that she was only looking to protect her. Maren didn’t need protection. She was fine taking care of herself.

But after yelling at Elsa the way she did? Using the accusatory tone that she did? Even just looking at her with the fury that was clearly meant for someone else? Maren was not ready to face her right away. She was supposed to go in at five; it was almost three currently. Maren didn’t have the energy, desire, or will to get herself together.

But she couldn’t be a no-call no-show.

By the same token, if she called out then that would mean speaking to Elsa. Who would be at the front desk. Where the phone was.

Dammit.

There was only one other person Maren could inform. Reluctantly, she reached for her phone on the other side of the bed and scrolled down to Nani’s name on her contact list. She had yet to have Snow, Ella, or even Elsa’s numbers. But for now? Not having Elsa was probably for the best.

It pained Maren to call out because she was too damn hurt to deal with Elsa. She didn’t want to follow up that conversation…or argument…whatever it was…from last night. And Maren was off the next night. She just needed some extra time to herself, was all. Just one more night.

How she even ended up with Saturday night off, she had no idea.

_Can you tell Elsa I’m not coming in tonight? I’ll be back on Sunday._

No sooner did she get the read receipt on her phone that it started ringing. Why was Nani calling right after getting her text? Wasn’t she supposed to be watching self scan?

Groaning, Maren forced herself to answer. If for any other reason, because she knew if she didn’t she would never hear the end of it. “What?”

“What the hell??” Nani nearly screamed from the other line.

Maren jerked the phone away from her ear. “Why are you yelling at me?”

“Hey I’m asking the questions here,” Nani retorted. “Why are you not showing up tonight? You don’t just text someone two hours before coming in, no explanation, and expect me to cover your ass for you. Get your act together, Maren!”

“And what happened to Casanova?” she raised an eyebrow.

She could practically see the sneer in front of her as Nani spoke. “You don’t deserve that name tonight.”

Maren shook her head. “Nani I can’t come in tonight, ok? Can we just leave it at that?”

“No. No we can’t. You don’t just skimp out on working with us cause some jackass decided to make some comment and then get mad cause Elsa made a decision you didn’t like,” she argued.

“You don’t get it.”

“Not fully, no. But you know what I do get? I get being pissed at her. You think I agree with every decision Elsa makes? Hell no! Just because I trust her doesn’t mean I have to agree with her. But I don’t have a say. You don’t have a say. As long as she’s in charge, her word is law. We just gotta suck it up and deal.”

“So I’m supposed to sit back and listen to that bullshit from some jerk?”

“Listen up, I’m not gonna stand here and argue with you. I don’t have the time. I got four minutes left tops so let’s save us both the trouble and make it easy. Suck it up and get your ass here.”

“You didn’t hear the fight I had with Elsa. I’m not facing her tonight.”

Nani scoffed. “Oh so this isn’t even about that douche. It’s about Elsa.”

“Why say it like that?” Maren groaned.

“You are one of the most oblivious people I ever met,” Nani shook her head.

“I am not _that_ bad.”

“No, Aunt Pleakley is worse.”

“Do I wanna know?”

“No.”

“Ok then I’ll just hang up.”

“I meant about Aunt Pleakley! Obviously someone’s gotta tell you about the Snow Queen since you’re too dense to make a total connection.”

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“That’s a bullshit answer and you know it.” Nani groaned. Most likely she was clenching her fist or taking a breath during her pause. The odds of distracting her and wasting the last couple of minutes were slim, so the woman was going to make her point short and sweet. “Bottom line. You like Elsa, you think you blew your chances with her, and now you’re ducking in fear like a kid. Focus on your job. Be professional.”

“Nani…” Maren started.

“And don’t you argue with me,” she interrupted. “I see how you look at her. I see how you can act around her. There’s no shame in that. But there is shame in hiding. You can hide your feelings all you want but you can’t hide from Elsa.”

If Nani was going to be short and to the point, then so was Maren. “I can’t show my face this soon after last night. Not to her.”

Nani clicked her tongue. “Fine. You won’t listen to reason? I’m gonna have to call the cavalry on this one.”

Maren raised an eyebrow. “Who’s the cavalry…?”

“Oh, you’ll see. You’ll see.” A sinister chuckle could be heard as the phones disconnected.

Maren gulped, setting her phone down. Oh no. No, no, no! Nani was _not_ going to have Elsa call Maren!

Pushing herself off the bed, Maren began pacing around the tight confines of her room. This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. What was Nani going to say? She wouldn’t tell Elsa about Maren’s crush…would she? Maren didn’t think Nani had that in her…but what might stop her now? Surely it was just going to make things worse. As if things weren’t awkward enough already. Maybe by all accounts Elsa should have already caught on. Between Maren’s accidental flirting, the little things that she did, her damn Angel comments….

Shit.

Why was it that every time, that name always came up? All Maren had to do was have one thought of Elsa and there it was.

No, last night didn’t change Maren’s perception at all. Elsa was still an angel. She was still _Angel_. How could she not be? She went out of her way to make sure nothing would happen to Maren. She was clearly, visibly worried for her. She was scared for her. Did she really think the worst was going to happen? Maren didn’t even fully register it when it happened; the way Elsa spoke to her. It wasn’t anything like any of her tones before. It wasn’t airy, icy, authoritative, or warm.

It was fearful.

Even if Maren was fully within her right to feel how she did, it didn’t change the fact that she took it out on Elsa. The person who was trying to help her. Perhaps it wasn’t the right course of action, but she wanted to try. Did that mean nothing?

Oh god what if Elsa hated her now?

She jerked back when her phone started ringing. An unrecognized number. Shit that had to have been Elsa now! What should Maren do…?

It wouldn’t look good if she didn’t answer. But how could she speak to her now?

Conceal it, don’t feel it, she reminded herself.

Even if that wasn’t something she shouldn’t be doing perhaps this was the exception. Admittedly Nani was right in one assessment – Maren had to be professional when speaking to her boss. And like it or not, that boss was Elsa. Gulping, Maren grabbed her phone and clicked accept at the last possible moment.

“Hello…?”

“Maren?”

Wait, what?

That wasn’t the high voice Maren was expecting.

“Snow?”

“Nani left me your number on my register. She said to call you; I’m on my break now. Is everything ok?” the teen asked.

Maren would be lying if she said she wasn’t relieved. It was Snow. Maren could handle her. No…that wasn’t the right word. But she could sure as hell speak to her pseudo-sister a lot easier than her crush. She meant, her boss.

“I just don’t think I should go in tonight,” she answered simply.

“Because of last night? Are you worried he’ll come back again?” Snow asked.

When she said it, it almost sounded wrong. Maren wasn’t the one that dealt with him in any capacity, after all. Snow was the first to feel his wrath. He cornered her, demeaned her, and called her a bitch. If anyone should have been afraid of him, it was Snow.

“I should be asking you that. He was yelling right in your face,” Maren confessed.

“I have you and Elsa,” Snow answered as if it were the easiest response.

Maren sighed. “Well…tonight it’s just gonna be Elsa. I need to step back.”

“Because he hurt you with what he said, too,” Snow figured.

“Yeah…. He did,” she admitted. “And I snapped at Elsa when she tried to help. So I don’t think it’s a good idea for me to be there tonight. And now Nani’s pissed at me so I’m looking at a new record of women who hate me.”

“They don’t hate you,” Snow promised. “Elsa was worried. And I don’t think Nani’s mad at you. She’s just stressed because it’s been busy today. She’s more concerned about getting everything done tonight than something that she couldn’t have done anything about when she wasn’t here before.”

“I don’t know if Nani being there would’ve made much difference anyway,” Maren conceded.

“I’m sorry there wasn’t anything I could have done,” Snow apologized.

Maren shook her head. “It’s not on you to apologize, Sis. You didn’t do anything wrong. Actually it’s probably a good thing he didn’t go to you after all. What he said and how he was acting…. It was really messed up.”

“Did you know someone called the cops last night?” she inquired.

“Elsa may have mentioned it, yeah,” Maren nodded.

“Fred talked to them, too. There’s a super detailed description of what he looks like so everyone here knows to keep an eye out if he comes back. There’s even a note from Oaken by the time clock that says if we ever feel scared or endangered because of a customer to just walk away from them,” she explained. “I think we were all kind of scared last night.”

The brunette sighed. “Snow, if you’re trying to make me feel better to convince me to come in…. I’m sorry. It’s not gonna work. Not this time, anyway. I really think it’s for the best.”

That made the teen sound more confused. “But don’t you like working here with us? Aren’t we all better if we’re together?”

No wonder Nani referred to Snow as the cavalry. The girl didn’t see the total evils of the world nor did she try to understand everything that was thrown at her in the store. She only knew exactly what she said at the staff meeting – that they were a family. They were better off together. If anyone could speak so innocently and simply; in a way that would make Maren rethink everything; to actually cause her to let go of her own pride and look at the bigger picture; it was Snow.

“You don’t need me there to look out for you all the time.”

“But you have Elsa protecting you, too.”

“I don’t need her to save me.”

“Maybe she was just trying so hard because she was scared, too. She has us and the store and everything in it to watch over. So if anything happened, that’s kind of a big responsibility. And she’d be really sad if anything happened, especially to us. It’s like my Uncle Grumpy.”

“Uncle Grumpy?”

“Yes, he has a bit of a temper and a colorful vocabulary. But as angry as he gets at everyone else, he always says that if something happens to me, he’d be most angry with himself because he let it. So I think Elsa is sort of the same that way.”

Maren sighed. Dammit, Snow.

“So what you’re saying is, I gotta suck it up and get my act together.”

“And maybe we won’t all be scared the same way, but we can still be scared together. You told me I’m not alone because I’ve got my sisters. So…. Isn’t this kind of similar? How you’re not alone because you have all of us?”

It was the most innocent way anyone could have said it. Hell, Maren wasn’t even sure if Ryder could have put it anymore simply. But unlike with Elsa, there was no sudden reaction. And unlike with Nani, there was no frustration. With Snow, there was only curiosity and kindness. Even if she didn’t completely comprehend the horrors of the world, she knew enough that she wanted to offer something to Maren. And it wasn’t just her nature. It was her heart and a sisterhood.

“Hey, you know something?” Maren spoke after a moment. “You always say that you have us and you look up to us. You never let us forget that you need us. But we need you, too. None of us could get through this crap without you. You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for, Sis. Thanks for letting me call you that.”

“So….” The teenager’s voice was filled with hope and was probably holding a wide smile. “Does that mean you’ll come in tonight?”

It would have been wrong for Maren to say no after all that. But somehow, it didn’t feel right to say something else. She had a better understanding of everything now and was starting to cool down after everything; but she couldn’t rush right back into it. If it were any other instance, Maren would have raced in without thinking. Except she couldn’t do that here.

No, it wasn’t about concealing. Not this time.

But it was about holding her tongue.

She was learning to do that with each annoying customer that came to her line.

She had to pick her fights and choose her words carefully. That was all it came down to. Even if she was learning that with customers, she failed that with Elsa. Maren couldn’t risk that again tonight. For both of their sakes – for all of their sakes – she needed that extra night to be sure she had her act together.

“I think it’s best if I take tonight for myself. I can’t rush in wanting to punch something the first time I get mad. So just for tonight, I’m not coming in,” she explained. “Could…. Could you just let Elsa know? Tell her I’m sorry? And that I’ll be in early on Sunday to make up for it if she wants?”

“So you can be at your best for all of us?” Snow concluded.

“It’s the next right thing to do,” Maren nodded. “But if you need to text or anything in between, you got my number now. I’ll be here.”

“Thank you, Maren. Love you,” Snow said.

“Love you, too, Sis.”

With the phone hung up, for the first time all day Maren felt relieved. Almost…not quite happy, but she was getting close. For once, she felt like she genuinely made the right decision. She just hoped that Elsa would understand as well.

“Hey Mare? A hand out here?”

Maren tilted her head. Tossing her phone back onto her bed, she made her way to the door. She poked her head out into the living room where she saw Ryder struggling to hold bags and…was that an actual pack of toilet paper?

“Ryder? What the hell??”

Maren slid down to grab the pack as it fell from between his fingertips. Maren set the toilet paper on the couch and then offered to take some of the plastic bags from her brother. One, two, three, four…six? How the hell was he managing six plastic bags?

“Ok why didn’t you use your reusable bags if you were gonna buy so much crap?”

“Well it was busy in the store. I felt bad that I’d have to pack everything while Ella just stared,” he answered.

Maren jerked her body back. One of the bags broke from her grasp and fell onto the floor. Fortunately there was nothing breakable…unless a bag of chips counted. “Ella? Wait…. What were you doing at Oaken’s?”

“Well, I was gonna surprise you. I thought you were supposed to be working,” he answered. Ryder managed to put the rest of the bags on the stools. “But you weren’t there. You were right though; Ella’s the nicest person ever! She doesn’t do little voices for her mice though, she just talks to them and pretends they answer or she makes little comics of them going on adventures….”

Maren waved her hands back and forth. “Hold on, hold on. You were at Oaken’s?”

His brows furrowed with confusion. “Yeah…. And you weren’t.”

“I’m not scheduled until five,” she answered. “Not like it matters. I called out.”

“What? Why?” he asked.

Maren shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. Look, can we just focus on the fact that I was right and you and Ella basically became best friends in a matter of seconds?”

“Oh no, I’m not falling for that!” Ryder insisted.

“Ok then can you tell me why you really went there? You couldn’t’ve asked me to pick this stuff up when I clocked out?” she replied.

“I was going to surprise you. I thought it might be nice to maybe see my big sister in action on the job,” he said.

She narrowed her gaze. “It’s retail.”

“Which you’re kicking butt at, by the way,” he replied. “Anyway I also thought it’d save you some trouble. You’re always buying stuff afterwards. So I asked Kristoff for a ride. He went into the dollar store across the street to get a birthday card while I shopped. Isn’t he so amazing?”

“But he couldn’t go in shopping with you?” Maren placed her hands on her hips.

Ryder shrugged. “I didn’t want him to feel obligated.”

She shook her head. “Whatever. Help me put the crap away.”

The siblings began going through the bags. They started by removing everything and then separating the perishables. Milk…eggs…yogurt…rocky road ice cream?

“Really Ry? You got your ice cream but nothing for me?” she eyed him.

He cleared his throat and lowered his head as he dashed to put the pop tarts away. “They were all out.”

“Yeah. Sure they were,” she commented sarcastically. She placed the milk and eggs in the fridge before going to grab the orange juice. “Just admit it, Ry. It was the last rocky road and you wanted to be the one to get your hands on it so you just grabbed it and ran without thinking about saving one for me, too. Did you even look to see if they had any of the ones I like? Like the m&m ice cream or fudge brownie?”

“Hey it’s not a big deal ok? I’m sure you’ll be getting your ice cream in no time,” he replied.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she questioned.

“Your boss asked if the ice cream I got is for me or you,” he commented.

“Elsa?” Maren gasped. As soon as the name left her mouth, the juice also escaped her hand. Her grip loosened, causing the container to fall to the ground. The cap popped right off and the liquid began seeping onto the tiled floor.

“Maren! What the hell!” Ryder exclaimed. He rushed to the bathroom to grab a roll of paper towels.

“Shit!” Maren gasped moments later after registering what happened.

Thank god the next couple of minutes were silent as the two of them focused on cleaning the mess. There were a few small words exchanged, mostly pointing out where they missed something or for the other to grab the garbage. As the mess was steadily cleaned, Maren could feel her brother’s eyes on her. She couldn’t bring herself to actually look at him. What was he thinking? Was he suspicious? How much was she going to have to tell him? Oh shit how obvious was it now?

“Soooooooo….” He dragged his voice out slowly, as if to either wait for a response from Maren or for her to yell at him to cut the test pattern. Maren’s eyes darted back and forth, trying to focus on the floor in hopes that she missed more of the spill. “That was a reaction….”

Was there any chance she could divert his attention somehow? “Yeah well…. We don’t exactly call her Boss….”

Well that was the lamest excuse that ever slipped through her lips.

“Soooooooo…. What do you call her?” he asked innocently enough.

Angel, Maren wanted to say.

Even after the drama of last night, it was still her first response. She still didn’t see Elsa any differently. They both had a part to play in what happened, but somehow it didn’t alter Maren’s feelings. God, it would be so much easier if it did!

“Elsa,” she said simply enough.

Ryder blinked. “You hesitated.”

“No I didn’t.”

“Yeah, you kinda did.”

“Well do you call your boss by their first name?”

“Actually I call her Captain. It sounds so official.”

Of course he did. Maren rolled her eyes. She stood up to dispose of the paper towels, as well as the now useless carton of orange juice. Yet she could still feel Ryder’s eyes on her. Oh no, what kind of twin power was he using on her now? Not telepathy, specifically. But he could definitely sense that something was up.

“Hey…. Do you think there’s any chance Elsa is that voice you were talking about?”

And there went the container again.

At least this time it was mostly empty so hardly any liquid spilled onto the floor.

She could tell even without looking that Ryder was sporting a huge, goofy grin. “Well that answers that!”

“Ugh! Ryder you don’t know what you’re talking about!” Maren groaned.

“C’mon, Mare, think about it,” he urged. “Boss people usually work or stay late. Maybe when you were leaving or you thought you were getting ready to leave, she was singing but you just couldn’t see her.”

“Trust me, I’d know her when I saw her,” she muttered.

“Cause she’s gorgeous, right?” Ryder teased.

Maren’s face definitely reddened at the comment. Eyes widened, she spun on her heels. “RY!”

“I knew it!” he cheered, jumping to his feet. “Maren, you have to tell me everything about her!”

“No! I really don’t!” she argued.

“You’re totally head over heels for her. You wouldn’t react this way if it was just some crush.”

“Well it is.”

“Liar liar.”

“I can handle it, Ry.”

“When are you gonna ask her out?”

“I’m not!”

“Cause she’s your boss? What, is there a rule against it or something?”

“No…. I don’t know, I haven’t asked!”

“Maybe there isn’t. What’ve you got to lose?”

“UGH! Ryder! Will you please just stop being my brother for a second and just…I don’t know, listen?”

It came out much harsher than she anticipated. She didn’t mean to bring him down, she really didn’t. But Maren knew; and it was likely that Ryder did as well. Maren was frustrated. And she was taking it out on Ryder now. This wasn’t how she wanted it to be. After all that thinking about the next right thing and actually thinking something through…even if she went with her original answer of not going in, she truly believed it was for the right reason instead of her just chickening out. Where was Maren going now? Taking three giant steps back. Messing up like always.

“Sorry,” she apologized softly. Shaking her head, she trudged back to the couch and plopped onto it, back first. Groaning, Maren ran one of her hands through her bangs. They pushed off her face and flew off her forehead, flopping backwards along with the rest of her hair. Her hand remained against her bare skin, still uncertain about facing Ryder with the whole truth.

She heard him open and close the fridge and freezer a couple of times. Putting away the rest of the perishables, of course. Maren couldn’t even bring herself to do that because she was too busy beating herself up. What the hell was wrong with her?

“Hey…” Ryder’s voice echoed through the apartment lightly. “If it means anything at all…she was asking about you.”

That was either a huge compliment or a horror story waiting to happen. “Do I wanna know?”

“There wasn’t much for me to say. I was sleeping when you got home last night and I didn’t catch you this morning so…. I told her you were just tired,” he shrugged.

That was good, Maren supposed. Right…?

“She seemed kind of down about it, though. I figured it was a crazy shift or something,” he said.

“Did you talk to her longer than Ella?” Maren asked.

Not that she knew if it’d make a difference.

Why would it make a difference anyway?

Why did she even ask that?

“I don’t think so. But I mean, I also recognized Ella as soon as I got to her lane.”

“That’s why we wear nametags, dumbass.”

“Yeah but Ella was also super friendly. She asked how I was doing and if I found everything ok, and when I told her you were my sister she asked how the clinic and the animals were…. Elsa was…well, kinda aloof. She didn’t seem too comfortable talking,” he explained.

“It takes her a while to warm up to people,” Maren answered. “It’s one thing with regular customers but I’m sure when you said you were my brother that kind of threw her. And our shift last night was…” How to even describe it? “…Crazy.”

“Why would it throw her?” he asked.

Maren sighed. “Because I see her every day. And I talk about you a lot. So it’s like she knows you but she hasn’t put a face to the name. She hasn’t formally met you. Usually when you first meet Elsa she’s super closed off. She’s usually got something in front of her or she stands super straight and has this…this…queenliness about her. Like she hyper focuses on her job. But then you spend time with her; talk to her and get to know her. She’s still kind of guarded but she warms up. She smiles a little more. She kinda keeps her hair tied in front of her but when she gets close to someone she tries to keep it outta the way. Like she just _knows_. Sometimes she moves her hands a little when she talks so it’s like she opens up a bit, too. Her voice changes a little, too, like it goes from this almost monotone default customer service voice to this really soft higher pitch….”

Ryder chuckled. “Wow. You _really_ got it bad.”

Maren’s eyes shut tight. Dammit. Not it really _was_ obvious how she felt about Elsa. Maren had gotten so lost in her description…actually imagining Elsa…feeling warmness in herself talking about her…almost picturing the woman in front of her…. Ugh! What was wrong with her?

No. That was a stupid question. There was nothing wrong with her.

Unless you counted falling for your boss as something wrong.

But she wasn't _wrong_.... She wasn't.

“Look, Mare…I don’t know her. And you haven’t exactly talked about her for me to know. But I think she really cares about you. She even asked me to leave something for you.” He backed away and started digging through the remaining bags. Or rather, he threw the plastic bags around trying to see where he left something. Typical Ryder. Finally, he picked up a box. Maren’s head tilted and she allowed herself to sit up. It looked like a box of Cocoa Puffs. Not that she should be surprised…. But why that? She took the box from Ryder and, upon turning it around; she saw an envelope attached to the other side. She pulled it off and then set the cereal beside her.

“What’s it say?” Ryder asked.

Maren carefully opened the top of the envelope and pulled out a note from inside. Not caring to argue any further, she read it aloud. “‘Maren, I know this can’t possibly make up for last night. But I hope it is a start. Consider this dinner only a small token. Please know that the way you are prepared to defend your coworkers does not go unnoticed or unappreciated. Everyone here can see that. Even the customer, who only caught a small portion. She thought quite highly of you, as do I. Every time you come in and every time I see you. Until next shift, El…’” She cut herself off. Maren looked closer at the end of the note.

_~~Elsa~~ _ _Angel._

She had originally signed her name. Except she replaced it with the other name. Maren’s nickname for her.

“...‘Angel.’”

She barely heard Ryder’s question. She knew he asked something, but Maren couldn’t begin to guess what it was. She was too busy listening to the racing of her heart. Elsa signed Angel. What did it mean? How should Maren interpret it? What was she thinking when she signed it? Was she even thinking? Maren had so many questions; her mind couldn’t possibly keep up with all of them.

Then she realized there was still something else in the envelope. There was still sturdiness to it. What was she missing? Carefully gripping the note between two of her fingers, she used her other two to pull out the last remaining item inside.

It was a gift card to Oaken’s.

And on the post-it note attached, in Elsa’s handwriting, was clear as day.

_Honey._

Was Maren’s face supposed to heat up that much? What was this feeling in her throat? Was she even breathing? Was she even thinking? Oh god what was happening to her?

“Mare! MAREN!”

Ryder’s voice almost caused Maren to jump back in her seat. Except she still felt frozen. With what, she had no idea. She just…. She felt completely lost. And in a way she couldn’t begin to describe.

Elsa did care. She was trying. She felt bad not just about what happened but how she reacted. When she said the night before she felt like she didn’t do enough, she was being honest. She really did believe she let Maren down. And now she was trying to fix it; starting with the simple things.

Eyes fluttering closed, Maren’s hold on the items tightened before her head tilted back to hit the couch cushion. Her voice came out hoarse, almost forced, but completely full of regret. “Fuck I messed things up.”

“What things?” Ryder asked. “Mare, what’s going on?”

“It’s a long story,” was all Maren could get out.

“Can you tell it to me?” he wondered. “I mean…you’re still not going in tonight, right? So we have time…?”

Maren shook her head. “I don’t even know where the hell to start.”

That much was true. Maren could hardly pinpoint when the crush escalated, let alone when it even started. How could she begin to explain her feelings for Elsa when she was still struggling to understand them? She knew she liked the woman; that much was obvious. But there was no way in hell that was all there was to it. And the odds of Elsa reciprocating were probably slim. If Maren didn’t screw up now, she would have screwed up down the road. She had no chance.

“Well…” Ryder shrugged and approached the coffee table, carefully sitting on top of it as he eyed his sister gently. “Maybe start with the night you met her?”

That much, Maren could do. A small smile and the faintest blush crossed her face as she pictured seeing her for the first time, leaning up against the wagon of throwbacks and damages from customer service. Making the simplest, almost joking comment, how not everyone was a sleaze like Radcliffe. How even from that first moment Elsa looked like a goddess. “It all started on a Thursday night….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know how sometimes you just start writing and let whatever the hell happens, happen? Kinda like what i've been doing with half of this story? That's this chapter! I just knew that we needed to see how this was affecting Maren directly afterwards. And what it kinda ended up turning into was, and i hope it came across this way, was at least a minor growth arc for her. She went from being so set in her feelings and so sure that she messed up with Elsa, so in a way shaken up about what happened, to realizing that there are some things she needs to work on - not so much in the matter of concealing not feelings, but that her first reaction can't be her only reaction - to the acceptance that yeah, she admittedly was wrong and maybe she felt Elsa was in a way as well, but it doesn't change her feelings and it lets her finally start to open up more about it to Ryder.
> 
> Nani and Maren are cut from similar cloth in terms of their temper and it's the complete opposite of what Snow does. Nani knows Maren is smarter and stronger than that and she shouldn't be letting her personal fears or annoyances or preferences get in the way of anything whereas Snow just wants to make sure everyone's ok and she wants to support Maren in the way she feels Maren has done for her. Having them back to back like that felt like it would do more for Maren's sake rather than forcing her to talk to Elsa. (Besides if that's gonna happen, they are going to get locked in a closet or at least the break room, dammit!) And when that was all said and done and didn't feel like the end, who better than Ryder to bring it home and really knock some sense into Maren.
> 
> As far as the gift card goes, it probably seems a bit farfetched that Elsa would give it to Maren. I'll make sure to make it clearer in a later chapter, but for the purposes of clearing up confusion for this moment - some stores, such as mine, when you get a lot of praise from a customer or a supervisor or manager thinks you did an awesome job with something, they reward you with a gift card to the store, usually $10 or $15. So, as with the implied comment in the note, the customer thought highly enough of Maren that Elsa, as the boss, felt a reward was appropriate. Or was Elsa just using the customer as a guise and decided to give Maren something herself without raising suspicions? HMMMMMMMM. 0=)
> 
> I didn't want to go overboard with what would have been Elsamaren's 'fight'. Dwelling on the specifics and what she did wrong, that's Elsa's thing and not Maren's. So i leave it open to your interpretation if Maren is exaggerating in her feelings of screwing up so badly. But like with the last chapter, how it came full circle back to how the chapter started, that was similar here; we started with Maren feeling bad and are able to see the first glimpse that Elsa feels just as bad. And, most importantly, SHE WROTE HONEY AND SIGNED ANGEL INSTEAD OF HER OWN NAME. LET THAT SINK IN. THAT IS A THING ELSA DID. YOU'RE WELCOME. I THINK. MAYBE. SEE YOU NEXT TIME!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have so many thoughts now i don't even know where the hell to start. And i know this is definitely gonna get overshadowed by everyone binging The Making of Frozen 2 (which i will be watching 1-2 episodes at a time before work to help me go in in the best possible mood =D) but when i realized today was also 6/26 aka Stitch Day who is my other favorite and this was gonna be me sharing one of the first chapters i actually wrote for this story before it because the story it is, i realized i had to make it happen.  
> @MLauren - This is definitely the start of progress with Elsamaren, that much i can say! i don't think it necessarily makes the slow burn any less slower, just more frustrating. i apologize in advance. All i can say is, we'll sorta kinda see a little how Elsa acts because we're about to get a double dosage of her.  
> @Ann - It's getting more and more tempting to lock them in the break room but there may be someone with a different idea.... Or maybe Nani really will threaten to lock them in the break room lol. i promise it's torture for me, too, i'm screaming at these useless queers as i'm writing them! But it was definitely the first of multiple steps Elsa needed to take.  
> @holographicbubbles - You're totally fine, no worries at all! i think, if it does seem predictable at all, it's just because we're all thinking the exact same thing. It's like the, i think it was a comic or something someone posted? i remember seeing it on Tumblr but it's probably everywhere. And it was the characters watching Elsa and Maren and i think it was Yelena who commented, "the only ones who don't know about Elsa and Maren are Elsa and Maren." i think i over-channeled that here....  
> @Ravrav - How about we all yell it again? =D "MAREN YOU IDIOT!!!" i'm sorry, am i overdoing it on the useless lesbian/queer thing? i think i'm having way too much fun with it! That was surprisingly one chapter though that didn't need as much editing when i went back to read it, and as much as i was thinking 'let's just start with this idea and see how it goes!', i'm hoping that's a part of what contributed to the flow of it because one thing just led to another. Honestly though, i could not stop reading your comment over and over again. And that's not to say anything negative about anyone else's comment because the positivity from everyone has just been not expected at all. i think part of it had to do with, it kinda felt like you were screaming in excitement at me. xD i was shocked in the beginning more than even one person commented and even more shocked that people kept reading. i read other peoples' stuff on here, and i can't hold a candle to what everyone else comes up with. The way everyone sees these characters, portrays them, writes out everything they do and not only paint pictures with their words but also make us feel them and lean at the edge of our seats.... Everyone on here is just incredible. And i know a lot of my putting myself below everyone else is low self esteem in general but also having been an Art and English student in college and i've constantly compared my work to everyone else's and thought it's never good enough. i do art for more of a reason now, but the writing has just been for me. A thing i love to do but probably never professionally and sometimes easier to get my creativity out that way, because my relationship to it hasn't changed as drastically as it did with art (but that's an entirely other story). And to read someone say this is actually good, to not only have multiple people say it.... So many of those positive comments i just brush off, but this one i couldn't. i'm just floored. In the best possibly way and i can't thank you, or everyone else enough for that. <3
> 
> Stay tuned for another really long author's note (thanks AO3 for the character limit or i'd never shut up and continue driving everyone crazy!) post-chapter to share the actual retail story behind this retail story you didn't expect. Don't worry, i promise it's actually a happy one! A super personal one, but still one i'm more than happy to share!

Thank the retail gods for another busy shift.

That was a sentence Elsa hardly thought she would say.

Dammit Fred, for insinuating retail gods even existed in the first place.

Elsa was only relieved to have her mind so focused on something else. She didn’t have time to beat herself up over any mishaps or mistakes or Maren.

She hadn’t come in the night before. And their last conversation ended with Maren saying not to talk to her. It was a low yet deserved blow. Of course Maren was frustrated after what happened. Elsa didn’t do enough. She could have done so many things differently that night.

But then again, that was what Elsa did. The moment she made a mistake, no matter how big or small, she would mentally beat herself up about it. Any what if’s or should’ve/could’ve/would’ve’s didn’t matter. All she could focus on was the wrong that she did. Because no matter how hard she tried to make things right or work hard or how much effort she could possibly put into something, it would never be enough. _She_ would never be enough.

But there was no time to think like that when all hell was breaking loose. How could she think about dealing with Maren tomorrow night or wonder how she might have reacted to Elsa’s peace offering when she was running back and forth between assisting her coworkers and customer service and playing traffic cop and answering the phone and doing price checks and making announcements. And now that Oaken’s finally got toilet paper back in stock there was no shortage of calls asking how much was left in stock, if there was a limit, what brand it was, and how much it cost.

And naturally, few insane shifts were incomplete without something happening at the tail end.

It was ten minutes until closing and Elsa just made the announcement for customers to bring their final purchases to register five or self scan. She closed customer service for the night and brought the till in from that register. She was half way through counting it when she heard a knock at the cash office door. It was Ella asking for Elsa’s assistance; but it would have to wait, as counting a till was imperative. Once that was started, she wasn’t allowed to stop and go back to it. And she wouldn’t have even thought to ask Ella to call Nani over from self scan; those registers at the end of the night shift were either a ghost town or a total madhouse. Elsa was not going to risk Nani leaving her post if it was the latter. Thank god Ella had the patience and understanding of a saint.

Once Elsa was able to emerge from the cash office, she learned that the issue was from a WIC card. Only part of the payment had gone through and the customer swore up and down that she shouldn’t have to owe anything. Elsa surveyed the items in question. The yogurt was easy; the customer was trying to buy a container of strawberry flavor but the WIC card only accepted plain. The customer stormed to the dairy section in the back to get a new tub, leaving the current one behind. Elsa took the opportunity to place the rejected tub in the nearby cooler, where some loose bottles of Coke and water were kept. There would be time to put the yogurt back once the store closed completely.

At that point Nani just finished closing self scan. Ella had barely been able to explain the situation to her when the customer came running back with the yogurt. She then began to question the remaining two items. 

“I don’t think that brand of bread is WIC compatible,” Nani told her.

“I don’t believe it is either,” Elsa agreed. “It’s also selected varieties, not the flavored ones like the swirl bread.”

“But that’s all you have. Can’t you do any substitutions?” the customer questioned.

“I’m sorry, miss, but the list of WIC items is very specific,” Elsa apologized. “If we don’t have the bread in stock that you need…”

“No I need bread tonight,” the lady insisted. “I’ll show you what you have!”

“I got it,” Nani offered, leaving Elsa and Ella at the register once again.

While Ella voided off the original yogurt as well as the swirl bread, Elsa returned behind the service desk and glanced at the binder of WIC compatible items. She was aware that sometimes the brands or specifics did change, but usually when they did the registers knew about it before the employees did. It wasn’t the bread she was concerned with; both she and Nani were certain of that. It was the baby food that was the question mark. There had to be something in there that said which flavors, sizes, or brands worked with the card.

Unfortunately by the time Nani and the customer returned, with no bread in tow, there was no option but to check the shelves of baby food and read each tag individually. The price tags on the shelves often specified somewhere if an item was WIC compatible. It was a much longer process, but if they could successfully find and point out to the customer what she could get, then she’d be able to find what she needed or at least close to it, and get out of there.

Needless to say, that was a bit of a process. The customer didn’t exit the store until almost eight-thirty. As soon as the customer was out of sight Elsa and Ella exhaled in unison. Elsa threw her head back in relief knowing she could finally get the last till in for the night. Ella leaned forward onto the belt before straightening her back and running her fingers through her bangs.

“I am so sorry about that,” Ella apologized.

“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Elsa promised. “I don’t expect everyone to remember which items work and don’t work with the WIC card. Especially since they switched from using checks to cards last year.”

“I just feel bad I wasn’t able to do more to help,” Ella sighed. “It’s hard enough to find everything as it is. But now so many people are buying more than what they need, and the people who rely on WIC or food stamps are out of luck. They can only buy so much, and they have those cards for a reason.”

Elsa offered her coworker a sad smile. “I know. It just goes to show how selfish some people really are. It’s situations like this that bring out the worst in people. And the worst in one person often leads to the worst in someone else as well. It never helps when we are thrown off guard, either. I hope you know the customer giving you a hard time in no way reflects how well you do here.”

Ella looked down, but even with her bangs falling in front of her face Elsa could still see the pink that covered the girl’s cheeks. “Thank you.”

Elsa smiled. “I’m just going to count this till and then buy a late dinner before I take my break. Would you like anything?”

“No thank you, I can wait until you and Nani are done with your breaks,” Ella promised.

Elsa nodded and went about her job. Although she claimed she was going to buy a late dinner once she was done in the cash office, as usual she really meant a late snack. She settled on a box of peanut m&m’s, something she could never go wrong with. She often gravitated towards the plain m&m’s or, once in a while, the dark chocolate ones; but tonight she simply felt she needed something to go with it. Once she made herself comfortable in the break room, Elsa opted to keep herself busy. The more she could occupy herself, the less she’d find her mind wandering to Maren.

How was she feeling?

What was she doing tonight?

Would she be eating the Cocoa Puffs Elsa bought for her?

When would Elsa be able to call her Honey to her face?

Wait, what?

Shaking her head, Elsa quickly fiddled with her phone. She found herself opening up Instagram. While she never personally got into social media, it was always nice to have another connection to Anna. She was grateful for it, especially when she needed a distraction and didn’t want to bother Anna personally. A few hours ago Anna apparently posted some pictures from Sven’s walk. There were a few photos of him sniffing the other dog’s behind – complete with laughing emojis of course – and a clip of him having a staring contest with a squirrel. To top it off, there was Kristoff’s Sven Voice in the background.

_“Blink!”_

_“Blink!”_

_“I’m waiting for you to blink!”_

_“I know you blink eventually!”_

_“Are you a demon squirrel?”_

_“Is that a nut?”_

_“Oh wait I blinked! Can we start over?”_

Elsa couldn’t help but giggle at it and naturally followed it up with a like. Even if she didn’t see them every day, somehow Elsa’s family always knew exactly what she needed. What would she do without them?

Elsa looked up, hearing an approaching voice. Nani was on her phone, to no surprise. At first Elsa assumed she was talking to Lilo or perhaps her aunt or uncle. Elsa gave her a smile and a light wave, which Nani nodded to in acknowledgement. She sat across from Elsa, focusing on her conversation.

“No David, I can’t this weekend. I’m working Saturday again.”

Oh. She was talking to her boyfriend.

“I know; I was looking forward to it, too.”

That was nothing out of the ordinary. Elsa couldn’t help but shake her head.

“Of course we can make it up another night.”

What must it be like to actually have a life outside of work, Elsa wondered?

“Sure we can do that.”

Was that a giggle? Elsa wasn’t used to hearing Nani sound...flirtatious. At least, that’s what she thought it was. Nani was stubborn. Tough. Thick skinned. She wasn’t the kind of person to show a weakness like that. No, weakness wasn’t the right word. Vulnerability, maybe?

“David! I’m at work!”

It was a full-blown laugh now. Elsa blinked. What was so funny?

“Yeah I’ll buy you a box of condoms before I clock out.”

Elsa felt her face turn red. Not even hot or flushed. Just red. Was Nani seriously talking about…? At work…? In front of her…? 

“Well which ones are you thinking? What about the lube? I know we…. Oh! We got _plenty_ of those!”

Was Elsa frozen to her chair? Was she visibly uncomfortable? Was she going to explode? She gripped her box of chocolate tight. Suddenly her appetite was completely gone. She tried not to look at her coworker, but she could tell her lips were still moving. Elsa attempted to tune her out, to think of something else – anything else – but even over her own thoughts was the prominent sound of Nani’s voice Discussing... _that_...with David. Elsa gulped. She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take. How much longer was her break even? Was it her fifteen? Or did she clock out for a half? She didn’t remember anymore.

“Yeah I think we can talk about that now.”

No, no, no, no! Not _that_ discussion! Not now! Not in front of Elsa! Not near Elsa! Not even in the store! Shutting her eyes tight, Elsa pushed herself out of her chair and dashed as quickly out of the break room as she could. Ducking into the bathroom to hide and catch her breath was tempting, but it was still too close. So she ran to the only other place she could think of where she might be safe: the cash office. Luckily she managed to slip to the front and into the office without Ella noticing. She must have been in one of the aisles at that point. It was bad enough Elsa was about to lose her cool in front of Nani; she didn’t want someone else to see her that way, too!

Once the door was shut behind her, she dumped her box on the table and buried her fingers into her hair. She paced frantically back and forth. “Get it together, Elsa. Get it together,” she told herself.

This was fine. This was normal. People talked about this all the time. People _did_ things like that all the time.

Oh god, people did things like that all the time!

That made it even worse!

Groaning, Elsa bumped her head against the wall. She held her position there, wrapping her arms around her body. Ugh! She hated this. Fifteen minutes ago she had just proven how calm under pressure she was. How reliable and responsible she was. And what was she doing now? Hiding behind a locked door like some oversensitive child. What was wrong with her?!

No, that was a terrible question. That was a wrong question. There was nothing wrong with her. She was just...different. She knew it every time she saw couples come into the store. She knew it every time she saw a family out shopping. She knew it when she saw her coworkers interact with their partners. She did understand it. She did feel it.

The latter only being to a point.

She sighed. This was the price for shutting herself out, she supposed. For not getting close to people. For being so awkward.

She liked to think she was pretty good at hiding it. In fact when she was out with Anna and Kristoff no one would probably guess. But it took awhile for Elsa to get to that point. For her to even get used to being that way around Kristoff. Hell, it even took her time to come clean to Anna. She was grateful Anna was awkward in her own way; they were able to relate to each other, to an extent. If anyone was proud of being awkward or different, it was Anna. Elsa wished she could be more like her in that regard. But Anna was also social. Extroverted. Carefree. Proud. Elsa kept to herself. She was an introvert. She was observant and cautious. She was...ashamed wasn’t the right word. She felt much better about herself now than she did when she was younger. And, to a point, she accepted herself. But she was far from being proud of herself. Let alone proud enough to remotely be in the open.

The blonde sighed. She wished she could spend the rest of her shift in the cash office, where Nani or Ella weren’t allowed in. Or, even better, she wished she could duck out early and hide under a warm blanket on the couch cuddled up to Bruni. But that wasn’t Elsa. Her work ethic was too high to allow her to just skip out of work, even for the last couple of hours.

Ok. She could do this. She just...had to act like everything was fine. Like she didn’t just speed out of the break room like the Flash. She could still talk to Nani like they were both normal people. Or, in Elsa’s case, fairly normal. She just had to not think about Nani doing...any of that. Elsa shuddered. She definitely did _not_ need to picture Nani and David like that!

Straightening her posture, Elsa loosened her arms and shook her head. She exhaled once more before stepping out of the office. Focus on getting your work done, she thought, you got this. Nodding to herself, Elsa approached the throwbacks to see how bad they were. Everything looked organized, for the most part. There was only one cart that appeared to be a mishmash of things. Upon closer inspection, they were heavier items. A 24-pack of Poland Spring water, a few 12-packs of soda cans, the largest container of Wesson oil, a giant pack of paper towels…. Oh! Scratch that. A giant open pack of paper towels. Leaning down, Elsa pulled the item from the bottom of the cart to move it to the wagon of damages.

“Elsa?”

Nani’s sudden voice caused the blonde to jump to her feet. Pulling her arms into her chest again, she nearly leapt back. “Oh! Nani!” she gasped.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. You ok?” Nani asked.

“Fine,” Elsa squeaked. Realizing that didn’t sound convincing at all, she cleared her throat and forced her arms to her side. “I’m fine.”

Nani shook her head. “Are you sure? Cause if it’s about the break room…”

Elsa held up her hands. “It’s ok. You don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, I think I do,” Nani confessed. “I saw you were a bit lōlō back there and I should’ve hung up on David. Instead I kept on going. It wasn’t fair to you.”

“I wasn’t…” Elsa lied. At least, she didn’t think she was…. Was she?

“I meant uncomfortable,” she corrected.

Oh…. Yeah. That sounded more accurate. “I mean...I guess...just a little…” Elsa admitted softly.

“I should’ve changed the conversation or dropped it entirely,” Nani explained. “It’s just that it was my only chance to talk to David and let him know what’s going on. Between Lilo and working and everything going on, we figured it was probably one of our few only chances to….” She stopped herself and sighed. “But that’s not an excuse. And I’m sorry.”

She could tell Nani was being sincere. She definitely meant well; and Elsa was appreciative of the acknowledgement. But still...an acknowledgement was an acknowledgement. Elsa turned her head away, wrapping her arms loosely around her body again.

“I...I suppose...I should apologize as well….”

Nani blinked. “Wha? What for? You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Elsa sucked in her lip. She shouldn’t have to justify how she felt. She was entitled to her feelings; and she would hope that if she explained them, they would be met with understanding. And she knew she didn’t do anything wrong; she had only reacted. But not everyone would understand her. They wouldn’t understand why she responded the way she did or even accept her feelings. There was a reason Anna and Kristoff were the only ones who knew.

Unless Bruni counted as well. But he was a cat; whom was he going to tell?

“The...the thing is…” she nearly stammered. Elsa turned her head to see if anyone else was around. Even if the only person left in the store at that point was Ella – and even though Ella was one of the least judgmental people – the fewer that knew, the better. And, for all Elsa knew, a grocery delivery could be coming in. She didn’t need the driver or one of the stockers hearing about her sexuality.

“It’s ok,” Nani promised. “You don’t have to say anything.”

“I think I should…” Elsa admitted.

“I get it,” Nani nodded. “Well...sort of. Indirectly.” She offered a somewhat cocked smile and shrugged her shoulders. “My aunt is the same way sometimes. She can be my aunt or my uncle, but she feels most comfortable being my aunt.”

Elsa blinked. “Really…?”

It was almost unheard of, someone speaking so candidly about that. If Elsa was being completely honest, she did have her moments. The ones where she would will herself to dig deeper. That is, if she actually looked at it like a research paper or something instead of actually taking a long, hard look at herself. The way Nani was talking…it was almost as if it were such a simple subject.

“My uncle doesn’t talk about it too much. He puts on this tough guy act, but he really just doesn’t want anyone to treat my aunt differently. Any time my aunt brings up her fluidity my uncle goes….” She paused and cleared her throat in an attempt to deepen her voice, almost adding an accent of some sort. “Meh. Clothes is clothes. You say you’re my wife? You are my wife. Just as long as you continue making the turkeys every month and not to spoiling the Doctor Who I give no shits.”

Elsa covered her mouth, hoping to hold back a laugh.

Nani scoffed. “I know. No one can ever get Uncle Jumba’s accent right. He says it’s British but I tell Lilo he’s descended from an ancient undead army.”

Normally Elsa hated being talked to like a child. She didn’t need to be coddled or babied. But the way Nani talked to her in that moment was almost lighthearted. Comforting. Encouraging. Elsa didn’t doubt the woman had a heart. She did everything she could to support her sister, even if it meant working two or three jobs at a time and hardly ever being home. Elsa just didn’t expect Nani to show it to anyone else. Especially not to Elsa of all people. It was…unexpected. And maybe it was an odd twist of fate. Maybe it was just the moment she was waiting for. Or maybe it had simply been too long.

Tucking a strand of hair behind her ear, Elsa opened her mouth. She couldn’t keep hiding it forever, no matter how much she wanted to. And maybe it was time someone else knew about it. It was time that someone... _anyone_...understood why Elsa reacted to things the way she did. And maybe it was time she finally allowed herself to be honest with herself. Take the next step forward. She had no idea how exactly it was going to come out, or what words she’d specifically use, but before she knew it she gave the simplest, most honest answer.

“I’m an asexual lesbian.”

As soon as she said it, Elsa could feel the red returning to her face. However this time it wasn’t in discomfort. She couldn’t believe it. She actually said it. Out loud. To someone who wasn’t her sister. Elsa’s hand rushed to cover her mouth again. She held in a gasp that almost sounded more like a squeak.

“I’m an asexual lesbian….” She repeated, more quietly the second time.

No. She wasn’t crazy. She actually said it. Out loud. After all that time of guilt and confusion and hiding and brokenness, she actually openly acknowledged it to someone.

Elsa was an asexual lesbian.

“I had no idea…” Nani started to apologize again, almost throwing off Elsa’s train of thought.

“It’s fine,” Elsa responded quickly. It actually came out hastier than she anticipated. She ran her fingers through her hair and then clasped her hands in front of her, surprisingly feeling a bit calmer now. The fear and discomfort, at least in that particular moment, had faded. Nani wasn’t the one who needed to apologize. That was on Elsa; she owed it to herself. And the best way to start, no matter how much or how little she shared, was to just say _something_ about it. To stop beating herself up about it. To stop acting like it was something wrong with her. To, at the very least, finally acknowledge that it was a part of her. “I’m not exactly vocal about it. I...I haven’t told anyone besides my sister and her boyfriend.” Her eyes lowered slightly, avoiding moving in Nani’s direction. “But...that’s why...I reacted the way I did...back there. It’s…I think in a way, it’s always been like that. I’m not entirely sure of the specifics yet...I just know….”

“You know enough,” Nani finished knowingly. “And you got it. I won’t tell anyone. And I can keep my talks about David on the DL.”

“Oh you don’t have to! Not on my account, please,” Elsa insisted. “It’s not about you and David, it’s…”

“It’s about the other part,” Nani nodded. “But that doesn’t make you lōlō at all.”

“Maybe. Maybe not…” Elsa shrugged softly. “But it’s not going to make people magically understand.”

Nani let out a laugh. “Hey I’m one of the last people who understands my aunt at all. But the thing is, I kind of don’t care. Aunt, uncle, alien, whatever the hell she is. As long as she’s a good person to Lilo that’s all I care about. She’s got our backs. Just like you always got ours. So I got your back, too. I meant it at the staff meeting and I mean it now. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop giving you a hard time. It just means I won’t give you a hard time about this.”

Elsa hardly expected any less from Nani. Of course the teasing in general wouldn’t stop. That was who Nani was; she liked to find ways to drive everyone crazy. But about simply accepting Elsa and moving on from it? Acting like it wasn’t the huge deal that Elsa constantly believed it was? It brought a smile to Elsa’s face. Nani meant everything that she said. Knowing this part about Elsa? It didn’t change her perception in any way. It didn’t make her care less. It didn’t make her think less of Elsa. All it meant was, Nani knew now that certain topics were off limits.

Could that mean there was a chance of others reacting in a similar fashion?

Elsa expected to feel much more anxious about the situation and the reveal than she did. She thought it was going to take a turn for the worst. It turned out what it really did was bring her closer to one of her coworkers and give her an ally she didn’t know she had. Or knew she even needed. It should have taken at least some of the weight off of her shoulders.

Except it didn’t. Not entirely.

Because there was still the inherent fear of how others would react.

And it forced her to accept the way she looked at Maren.

The interactions they had.

The moments they shared.

The playfulness between them.

The way they were co-sisters to Snow.

The names they had given each other; Elsa was Angel and Maren was Honey.

Even if Elsa hadn’t gotten the opportunity to actually say it to her face yet.

The thing that they had going; the relationship they built as coworkers…or friends…or even family…how could Elsa risk messing that up?

Of course she might as well have already screwed up. She did that multiple times already and the other night made it worse.

So far they had been able to work off all of that and somehow grow even closer. How could Elsa jeopardize all that time, all that energy, and all those feelings they put into each other just because she liked Maren?

Huh.

She said it.

Or…thought it.

She liked Maren.

It didn’t hurt to think it like she imagined. It didn’t turn her insides out. It didn’t cause her body to go into shock and result in a horrible panic attack. Instead she felt…. Her hand involuntarily rose to cover her heart, her palm pressed flat against her chest. She felt…. Warm. Relief. Almost…happy.

She liked Maren.

She wondered if there was a chance….

Oh.

A chance if Maren felt even a fraction of the same way….

The warmth faded. The smile that had begun to cross Elsa’s face turned downward. The hand that was comfortably resting on her chest was now clenching, almost into a fist, as if it were trying to grab her heart in a form of protection. It wasn’t quite racing, but she could feel her body tense at the thought.

If Maren felt even a fraction of the same way, it wouldn’t matter.

It would be one thing if Elsa simply said she was a lesbian. That was so easy to explain – she liked women. It would still cause pain because so many people wouldn’t accept it. As if it were wrong for a woman to like a woman that way. Except with Elsa…. It wasn’t in that way. Not completely. Because she had to go and add the asexual label in front of it. How could she go and say she liked women when she couldn’t even fully act on it? When there was still part of her holding back? When she couldn’t fully give herself to someone the way she would want to? The way she _should_ want to? Because, regardless of being straight or gay or bi or whatever the hell else, it was normal. It was normal to want to be that way with a crush. It was normal to want to be physical with a crush or partner. It was normal to feel…well, _that_.

It felt like a negation.

It felt like she wasn’t trying hard enough.

It felt like she should have very well had the option of liking a man instead.

Because what good was being a lesbian if she couldn’t do anything with it? If she still felt like she wasn’t one?

What good would vocalizing her affections for anyone do if it involved disclosing her entire orientation? It would just give the person a reason to push her away.

It would give _Maren_ a reason to push her away.

Kristoff accepted but only understood to a point. Nani accepted it but couldn’t understand. Anna more than accepted but could never understand. Elsa’s own parents didn’t accept and could have never understood.

And just like that, Elsa could feel herself walking back into the closet.

In there she was safe.

In there she was away from judgment.

In there she didn’t have to explain herself.

In there no questions were asked.

In there she wouldn’t get hurt.

And in there she couldn’t hurt anyone. Because what good would it do to be out and open if someone liked her enough to want to do _that_ with her and Elsa couldn’t reciprocate? What worse rejection could there be than wanting to give yourself entirely to someone only to shove them off? No. That wasn’t fair.

One more person knew. Maybe that was enough. Elsa could make it enough.

It just meant that Maren could never know, either.

No matter how much Elsa would give to change that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was either the first or the third chapter i wrote when i first came up with Essential. I wrote this having no idea where it was gonna go or where the place for this chapter would come, just that it was gonna happen. And while i don't think it necessarily helped set any tone, it definitely helped me develop this modern AU Elsa maybe with certain reactions or things she said. And, admittedly, i think this chapter was also more self-projecting than anything. This chapter actually has my favorite retail story in it and it's one i usually don't share, not because i don't think my coworker would have anything against it, but because i've never really been vocal about how much it actually meant to me.
> 
> So this was back in 2018; i was in the break room for my 15. My coworker came in and on the phone with her boyfriend. And while they weren't having The Talk, they were having A Talk. And there was me, sitting across from her, my awkward uncomfortable stereotypical asexual self, not able to tune it out and eat my chocolate. I think i lasted all of a minute before i ended up leaving the room and cutting my break early. So i went to work on throwbacks and after my coworker clocks out an hour later she comes over to me and says she's sorry, she didn't mean to make me uncomfortable and she felt really bad about it. And i told her i was sorry i reacted the way i did because i'm actually a s-x repulsed asexual. And of course she was shocked, she had no idea, and she apologized again. At that time, i had figured out i was ace in late 2017 and i 'came out' in February, around my birthday in 2018. So it couldn't've been more than a few months after that. And as accepting as my mom and friends were, the few times i mentioned my asexuality in passing to a few coworkers they just looked at me like i'm a nut...more than usual. i already know i'm a nut. But how could she have known my identity if i don't talk about it? My label has since admittedly expanded since (demi-whatromantic asexual possibly with slight aesthetic preference to females (thanks Elsa!) by the way), but i usually just refer to myself as ace or queer for simplicity sake. And even though a lotta people still don't know what ace means, this coworker, 10 years younger than me so basically a kid, whether she knew what ace was or not, didn't need to ask or judge. She just automatically not only accepted, but promised to lessen Those kinds of talks around me. And that just felt so damn good, especially since that was my first time specifying the label. And she's basically been like my little work sister since.
> 
> (Sidenote now you know why i don't comment on any M-rated fics. It's cause i feel so bad about reading only like, half the story because i skip over all of Those scenes!)
> 
> Regardless of our orientations, we all relate to, deal with them, and ultimately accept them differently. I have taken to mine incredibly positively. Others have not or constantly struggle with it. Elsa, especially in this AU, has been one of those people. And while my portrayal of her doesn't by any means speak for every other a-spec let alone anyone else in the LBGTQ+ community, she has definitely been an icon for us. There is no wrong way for anyone to relate to, feel or think about, or even be their orientation. this particular Elsa is one of countless ways. As much as i want to try to stay true to her character overall, the two things i tried to keep most consistent about is her compassion and her logistics. Because of course now she goes into overdrive assuming the worst when HEADS UP ELSA, MAREN WILL LOVE, SUPPORT, AND ACCEPT YOU UNCONDITIONALLY NO MATTER WHAT!
> 
> Some of the narration, particularly towards the end, has changed since i first wrote this to coincide with the point it is in the story but the dialogue between Nani and Elsa was almost entirely unchanged. There was never a question in my mind about it being anyone else. Ann said it best with the comment, Nani tells it like it is. There doesn't need to be a great big speech of acceptance from Nani or questions, judgment, anything. It's literally her saying she still got Elsa's back. Nothing changes. She's still Elsa. It's just up to Elsa now to do the work from here. (Never mind the fact that this raises the question if Nani knows Elsa and Maren feel the same way about each other but we'll save that for your interpretations! XD) I didn't know at the time of this true retail story how much it'd end up meaning to me. I just knew that after writing all those chapters, Elsa absolutely needed and deserved this moment.
> 
> As always i wanna thank you guys so much for not just the kudos and the comments, but for just giving all the encouragement that you do. And not even just with this story, with everything. It just makes me wanna keep going and writing more. I have no idea long this will actually go on for, but i will be back on Monday with another chapter. And maybe more retail stories!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys are making me start need to actually respond to the comments instead of just typing stuff here! Especially with the lengths and what some of you guys have said, i think i absolutely need to that for at least the last chapter!
> 
> I can't even count how many times i read all your comments on the last chapter. I've been trying for the last hour to even figure out what to say in this note because i can't find the words to tell you guys how blown away i am by the positivity and support. Not even just with the story anymore, the positivity about making Elsa and ace lesbian AND the support in my experience of coming out to my coworker the way i did. Like. What. Even. There's so much i feel like i wanna say here and there's just not enough space or even time because you came here to read the next chapter, not to read my blabbing. I'm just...floored. Again. Last chapter i wrote based off a personal, overall wonderful experience that i was ultimately trying to translate and interpret through Elsa's eyes, mind, and heart and selfishly, i didn't think about how it would also hit for some of you guys. How accurate it was, how relatable it was, or for anyone to mention even in passing of a comment about your own aspec identity(s) and what that meant for you. So also selfishly i want to say thank you for any of you who have shared that and also reminded me i'm not the only ace on here or in existence because the latter usually feels pretty damn accurate lol. And i feel like i'm saying thank you so much in these notes it's like a broken record but for last chapter, it's been taken to a whole new level. Because i know this story had its ups and downs, i know some chapters are better than others, and i know sometimes it's just been a plain old mess; but in the words of Kristoff - i wanna get this right. And with what you all have said about the last chapter, regardless of whatever else i write here or however this turns out, however long it goes on for, or how much i drag it out, you guys have made me believe that with the last chapter, i absolutely did get it right.
> 
> What i'm going to do now is just type super basic responses to everyone's comments (again, for consistency) and then i'm actually going to reply in the full detail you guys deserve after i post this chapter.  
> @coldname - Making a move is easier said than done for those useless lesbians lol! And i promise the situation was even more awkward IRL thanks to my natural awkwardness and my stereotypical asexual butt, but i was also very fortunate in having such an understanding and accepting coworker.  
> @iDragonSpyro - i don't think someone needs to just tell Elsa that, i think she also needs to get the message in giant bold, neon letters in front of her face...but what are the odds that'll be enough either!  
> @fanficfruitts - i thought you were excited about the chapter before last, but daaaang you came at me with that last comment didn't you! And thank you for reminding me that Kristoff is "nice...and blond" is a thing Elsa canonically said! Just. Oh my god, yes! XDDD  
> @holographicbubbles - Your comment was one of the reasons i think i need to actually get my act together and legitimately respond to them lol. Because there is so much i wanna say here. If there was just one thing i had to pick out, it's that for Pride month and our visibility weeks, regardless of how similar or different our aspec identities are, i will absolutely make sure to be proud enough and share enough pride for the both of us! <3  
> @AshSilver99 - I can't promise you everything in this chapter you are hoping for, but you are on the right track with a hint of one of those things. And i can't tell you how tempting including a moment like that actually is!  
> @Ravrav - Ok i'll just come at you now then LOL. You're another reason i think i need to get my act together and legit respond to comments! You leave not one reaction, but come back with a second one of specifics? i need like, 5 author's notes to respond to you! You will be seeing a couple of long comments back from me! :P  
> @RobinPercher - I can't tell you what that means to know this is the first fic with an ace main or ace Elsa that you're reading. Incredible and special don't feel like enough, or even the right words. I do hope to make Elsa's asexuality more of a focus for her from this point on, not even just for the sake of her character but maybe a little bit for us, too.
> 
> Ok, now onto the chapter you guys may or may not have been expecting!

Eleven-thirty. Elsa arrived home and disposed of her uniform as usual before jumping into the shower. However, unlike most nights where she tried to make it as quick as possible before going to bed, she took her time allowing the hot water to run down her back and through her platinum blonde locks. She hoped the steam and touch would clear her mind or calm her down somehow.

Twelve-twenty. Elsa’s first attempt to lie in bed. She left her hair down to air dry, not caring about the dampness that was covering her pillow or back. She stared up at the ceiling and folded her arms lightly across her stomach. The only other thing she felt against her body through the blanket was Bruni’s head on her legs.

Twelve forty-two. She must have turned from back to side to side to back to side to back to side at least a dozen times. Each time she barely felt the jerk of her confused cat against her. She knew he was moving as she did, attempting to get comfortable and fall asleep on his own accord. But she was still wide-awake.

Ten after one. Elsa relocated to her desk and turned on her light. She stared at one of the blank pages of her sketchbook. A couple of pencils as well as an eraser sat to her right. She leaned forward, fingers laced through strands of her hair. She searched the page desperately, looking for something to occupy her time and mind. Nothing came.

One-eighteen. After quickly realizing staring at a blank page was useless, she began ripping pages out and folding them a la origami. To say they were uneven was a severe understatement. Elsa could sculpt a beautiful, intricate vase but couldn’t seem to make anything besides a snowball. Figured.

One thirty-nine. She came to her last resort. The kind that she would never do unless the situation absolutely called for it. Play doh. She mentally cursed Anna for the joke gift. She knew her sister meant well, but it really was ridiculous. And even more so, she was wasting her time trying to build with it as if it were supposed to help clear her mind, stop pushing herself down further, and not concern herself with feelings Maren likely didn’t even return.

Dammit this was pathetic.

Squishing the doh between her hands, the material flattened into a bumpy pancake. She flung it behind her; not even caring to see what kind of reaction came from Bruni. This was getting her absolutely nowhere. She had to get it together. Except…except Elsa had no clue how to do that. She didn’t even have the energy to have a one-way conversation with Bruni. It seemed as though no matter what Elsa did, she was doomed to a sleepless and anxious night.

_Clack. Clack._

What was that?

Elsa turned her head. There was Bruni at the edge of her bed, reaching across to her nightstand tapping her phone. What brought that on, she wondered? The blonde shook her head. Rising from her seat, she had every intention of moving the cat and forcing herself to lie down once again. That is, until a faint voice distracted her once she was close enough.

“Elsa?”

Her brows furrowed. “Kristoff…?”

Quickly moving the cat, Elsa leaned forward. There on her screen was Kristoff’s name as well as the ticking seconds of the phone call. Elsa hit her forehead.

“Bruni! You woke Kristoff?”

Bruni merely blinked one eye, tilted his head, blinked the same eye, and then a few seconds later blinked the other one.

Shaking her head, Elsa scrambled to bring the phone to her ear. “I’m so sorry, Kristoff. Bruni must have accidentally called you. I didn’t even notice….”

“It’s…” a yawn cut him off, “…it’s ok. At least we know he’s smarter than we thought.”

“I didn’t mean to wake you. I’ll get off and you can go right back to sleep,” she promised.

“Why do you sound so awake…?” he asked.

Shoot, Elsa thought. How the hell was that man so observant even when it was two in the morning? “It’s nothing. I just couldn’t sleep. Don’t worry about it; just go back to bed.”

“Everything ok?” He still sounded tired, but the statement seemed to have alerted him to something. Kristoff may not have known Elsa as well as Anna, but it was enough that even he could tell when something was up. “Do you wanna talk?”

“No.” The answer came too hastily. And as soon as she said it she knew it was wrong. “Yes…?” But that sounded like more of a question. “I don’t know….”

By all accounts, it would make complete sense for Elsa to talk everything out. Of the few people she knew and even fewer she trusted, Kristoff was likely the best option. He understood more than anyone what she was going through. But she couldn’t do that to him. She couldn’t willingly bother Kristoff – or anyone for that matter – with her issues. They were Elsa’s to work out and Elsa’s alone. Even if talking about them would help her out.

She sighed. “Look, don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. You have work tomorrow.”

“Yeah well, so do you,” he pointed out. “Hang on, let me move to the living room.”

She could hear him grunting lightly in the background, likely getting out of bed in a way that wouldn’t disturb Anna. There was some faint rustling that followed – slippers, perhaps? Finally, when she heard Kristoff sigh with a content plop to the couch and he gave her the ok, Elsa shook her head.

“Kristoff please, it’s late. You should go back to sleep,” she encouraged.

“Well I’m awake now so it looks like you’re gonna have to talk.” His voice was a bit louder now, but was not laced with any malice. If anything, he sounded concerned. “I mean it’s either that or what are you gonna do? Model with that purple play doh Anna got you last year?”

Elsa’s eyes darted towards the empty container on her desk, and then to the flattened doh on the floor. “No….”

“You hesitated,” he commented, no doubt holding a smirk.

Elsa sighed. She really didn’t want to burden Kristoff with her problems. But what was she going to do? Push away the most obvious choice and go back to driving herself crazy, resulting in a sleepless night as well as her attending work in an overtired and cranky mood in addition to constantly worrying what Maren was thinking or feeling and knowing she’d have to confront her sooner or later?

“Ok so you’re gonna make me talk then.” Kristoff made the executive decision to keep going. “How’s Bruni?”

“Are you asking as his vet or as his friend?” Elsa inquired.

“Well I’m assuming you’d tell me if anything was different with him so we can save that for his appointment,” he replied. He made a straining sound, like he was stretching or making himself comfortable. “So what’s he been up to?”

Typical Kristoff. If there was anything that could get him talking, anything that could remotely engage him with another person, it was animals. And he knew well enough that when it involved Bruni, or even Sven, Elsa would eagerly respond. While not quite in the same comfort zone as Kristoff, she definitely felt more at ease with animals than humans. She had Gale to thank for that, she supposed. And, indirectly, her mother; after all she would have never had the cat if it weren’t for Iduna. But there was something else about Kristoff as well; something else that no one would notice unless they actually knew him.

He never asked what was wrong.

Whether it was with a person, an animal, or a situation; he never asked what was wrong with them.

He would say things like, 'what’s going on?' 'What’s new?' Or 'what’s different?'

Elsa wished she could take a page from his book; perhaps then she wouldn’t constantly be asking what was wrong with her. And likewise, she wouldn’t be scolding herself for asking such a question in the first place.

“His new favorite thing to do is lie with his legs spread out. Or up in the air. He’s exploring with his tongue a bit, too. It covered his entire nose yesterday instead of trying to reach his eye,” she answered.

“I don’t think there’s a part of that cat’s body that isn’t flexible,” Kristoff chuckled. “You know, for a while after spending that week with you, Sven was trying to mimic Bruni a little. Tilting his head a lot and trying not to blink.”

“I saw that on Anna’s Instagram tonight. He was having a staring contest with a squirrel…?”

“Yeah. He needs some work on that.”

“Well Sven is quite the curious dog. And very impressionable.”

“Some things never change. It’s just like the first day they came into the clinic. Sven would try to do a lot of the same things Bruni did. I think it was a comfort thing or maybe it gave him a sense of familiarity.”

“How is the clinic, by the way?”

“We’ve got all these new rules in place to protect people and their pets. We’re trying to make things as safe as possible, but it’s a much longer process. We’re trying to see if we can get the interns to work more, even if it’s just to help cover the front desk with phone calls or to process payments for us. But we can’t right now. So it puts even more work on the rest of us. And a lot of the strays we’re taking in that were found…we have no idea where they’ve been or who they were in contact with. So that adds on a whole other list of things to do.”

“But the animals are all ok?”

“As far as we know. No red flags yet.”

“That’s good. You know, you’re doing a pretty amazing thing right now, Kristoff. Working under these conditions not just in a medical field but also with animals who can’t possibly understand what’s happening right now…. You’re a good guy. And I’m glad Anna has you.”

“Heh…. Hey don’t forget, she has you to thank for that. If you didn’t bring Gale in I never would’ve met her. I owe you big time. And whatever you do, don’t sell yourself short, either. I was in retail in high school, remember? I get how hard it is. Anna is feisty but…but I think you’re probably the strongest person I’ve actually met.”

He paused.

“Don’t tell Anna that, though.”

Elsa attempted to hold back a giggle. “Of course not.”

“So everything’s ok at Oaken’s. No casualties or anything?” he wondered.

Elsa shook her head. “No more than usual. It’s been…crazy, to say the least. But you shouldn’t put me on a pedestal, either. Between Anna and myself, she is clearly the stronger. There is no competition.”

“Uh, we’re talking about the same two sisters, right?” Kristoff inquired. “You do know that you’re the one who single-handedly ran a company while going to school, put herself _and_ her sister through school, handled a lawsuit, ran big, fancy meetings, worked while putting yourself through grad school, and are basically now running that same store? All while never thinking of or doing anything else for yourself, by the way.”

“I have my priorities,” she answered simply.

“Yeah but you’re a priority, too,” Kristoff pointed out. “You put all this energy into everything and everyone else around you but never yourself. Don’t think I never noticed, Elsa.”

“So how can you say I’m so strong then? What am I doing to deserve that?” she asked.

“Well, speaking from a strictly medical point of view, the strongest muscle in any creature is the heart. With the way you care so much about others and do so much for everyone, you got a pretty big one. So that makes you strong,” he commented. “But…. Also speaking from the point of view as your friend and the guy dating your sister…. I know exactly how she sees you, Elsa. The way she looks at you, talks about you, admires you…. To Anna, there’s no stronger or more incredible person in the world than you.”

As goofy and awkward as Kristoff could be, he was really a sensitive guy at heart. Rarely, if ever, had Elsa heard him speak ill of someone. The way he talked about Elsa, even to her, was no exception. By all accounts she should have taken his words to heart. He was one of the few people Elsa knew she could trust. Before him, the only person she knew she could trust entirely was Anna. And yes, when it came to work Elsa knew she had faith in her coworkers. She wanted to believe that because of all the time and effort she put into her job, that meant she could trust them with her as well.

What a shit pile of lies that was.

She couldn’t trust her coworkers with who she was. Not if it took tonight for Elsa to come out to even one of them. Not if, even after all that, she still felt like she couldn’t come out to anyone else. They knew Elsa as their boss. As the Snow Queen. But they didn’t know her as Elsa. The only one that came remotely close was Maren.

Maren.

Oh god, she had to deal with that again. Reminding herself she liked that woman yet could never do anything about it.

“If only that were true,” she sighed sadly.

“No…I’m pretty sure that’s true…?” he replied, though it sounded more like a question than a confident statement.

“But it’s not. I….” She started, but cut herself off. No. She couldn’t tell him. She couldn’t put this on Kristoff as well. What was she even supposed to say?

‘I accidentally came out to one of my coworkers except there’s another coworker I may be falling in love with and there’s no way in hell I can tell her’?

NO!

Not falling in love.

That was too strong.

Too fast.

She only _just_ admitted to herself that night she liked Maren. How could she go from like to love in only a matter of hours?

Stupid, stupid, stupid! What was wrong with her?

Dammit.

She hit her head with her fist.

“Elsa?”

Oh right. Kristoff.

Dammit.

“I’m fine,” she lied.

“Elsa….” His voice was stern. Knowing Kristoff, he was probably raising an eyebrow. If he were looking at her directly he’d be trying to keep eye contact with her. Probably folding his arms. Watching her every movement. Holding the faintest of smirks like he just knew something was up and was totally right but couldn’t bring himself to rub it in her face.

How could she even begin to tell him anything without exactly telling him, anyway?

She rubbed the fingers of her free hand together. She wasn’t quite snapping them as much as she was trying to occupy them. She flicked her wrist a few times in the process as if that was supposed to help give her an idea.

“I….” No, she couldn’t start by saying that. “It’s….” No, that didn’t sound right either. She sighed. Elsa slowly sat on her bed, her movements barely fazing Bruni that time. Normally she’d move to rub the cat’s soft fur, but her hand was in closer proximity to her pillow. She found herself stroking the case a bit before fiddling with the edge that was just sticking up. “Can…. Could I ask you something?”

“Yeah, sure,” he nodded.

“What….” She could do this. Breathe in. Breathe out. In. And out. “What was it like…? When you…. Told someone?”

It would have been so much more effective if it were face to face. But still, Elsa could picture his reaction so clearly. He’d take notice of her avoiding eye contact. The way she was fiddling with her hands. Process the tone of her voice. Realization would fill his face. His brows would furrow and his lips would tug to one side. His eyes would widen just slightly as if to say, 'oh'. And he’d take those last few precious moments to choose his words carefully.

“Well…. Bulda and Pabbie were one thing. I know you had issues with your parents, but…. I know it’s not the same but, but being a foster kid and aging out of the system, I figured telling them would be their easy chance to get rid of me. Every other family did and they weren’t budging. So…. I’ll admit, I didn’t tell them for the right reasons. But when they accepted and offered to adopt me on the spot, I knew I was safe. Because I’d never risk going to a home that wouldn’t accept me. So it gave me the best possible outcome and prepared me for the best…. But not the worst,” he explained.

“So what happened?” she wondered cautiously.

“I had this small group of friends in vet school. There were four of us. Ryder, Jane, Kenai, and me. Anything we did, we did together. They were like…like a second family to me. A real second family. I couldn’t have gotten through everything without them. I actually work with Ryder now; he’s an intern at my clinic. And Jane’s back in England, where she’s from, but we keep in touch all the time. The two of them…there was never any difference. When I told them, Ryder instantly came out to us, too. I think he felt better knowing there was someone dealing with a lot of the same stuff he was. Jane, she smiled and thanked me for trusting her with something so personal. Anything I needed, she was a text away. She’d always be there. But Kenai….”

His tone changed. When he began his story, Kristoff sounded so relaxed. Like he was full of hope and life. It was as if Elsa could imagine him as a college student again, just starting to fully explore the world for the first time and find his place. And there, he found a couple of people who fully and wholeheartedly accepted him exactly as he was. There were no questions, no presumptions, and no judgments. Just open arms. It sounded like a world Elsa wished she could be a part of one day. A world she never imagined she would see. But when he brought up Kenai’s name, she could almost see his face fall. The hope and relief that filled his voice was falling into a void. All those warm feelings were just…gone.

“I came clean that I liked him. But he didn’t understand. I guess he just assumed….” Kristoff sighed. “I don’t know. But it wasn’t the same since. He avoided me like the plague. I lost contact with him completely and, as far as I know, Ryder and Jane haven’t talked to him since, either.”

“So…so you confessed your feelings….” Elsa started.

“And that was it,” Kristoff finished. “Some people are just like that. They either don’t accept or don’t understand. And especially when people don’t understand, they get scared. It’s like they want nothing to do with the unknown. But that’s exactly how people stop growing and how rifts are formed between people.”

That wasn’t exactly what Elsa wanted to hear. It didn’t give her high hopes for coming out to Maren. If someone who Kristoff was so close with once couldn’t look past something as simple as his sexuality, couldn’t fully accept him for whom he was…. He could have just said he didn’t feel the same way and left it at that. There were so many better ways to deal with it. But it didn’t sound like Kenai had wanted to talk to Kristoff. As soon as he heard that, he left. It happened to Kristoff. What could possibly make Elsa think Maren would be any different?

“It hurt like hell then. I’m not gonna lie. And I really had to get my act together if I wanted to graduate. I couldn’t let some guy get between me and what I wanted to do. It was hard. Sometimes it’s still hard. And I know it’s hard to believe now, but…I’m ok. And you will be, too,” he finished.

“How do you know?” she shook her head.

“Well, look at me and Anna. Remember our first date?” he replied. “You know, the one who were so obviously chaperoning?”

“I was not….” Elsa lied. “I was…also there to eat.”

“You were two tables away and clearly eyeing us the whole time,” he deadpanned.

“I don’t remember that,” she sucked in her lip.

“Yeah, sure,” he said sarcastically. Kristoff rolled his eyes before continuing. “Anyway, when our food came it was brought out by a different waiter. And of course he was wearing short sleeves and his muscles were just bulging out and he had a few tattoos, like he was purposefully trying to show something off….”

“And Anna said, ‘he’s cute isn’t he?’” Elsa finished.

“I thought you didn’t remember,” he teased.

“Your point?” she raised an eyebrow.

“My point is, I thought I blew it. You’d have to be a total idiot to eye someone else on a date, especially your first date. But with Anna…I didn’t even have to tell her anything. She just said, ‘you’re allowed to look’.” He paused, letting a breath escape him. “Any other person would’ve thrown a fit. The date would’ve been over on the spot. But not Anna. And I don’t know if you had anything to do with that or it’s just how she is….”

“I wonder that all the time,” Elsa confessed. “After the way my parents reacted…there was no way I could have told Anna. Our relationship then was already on the rocks. I couldn’t risk pushing her away more than I already had. But the first time I told her….”

It was Elsa’s turn to pause. She replayed the conversation in her head. Not the whole thing. Just bits and pieces. She could still recall Anna’s blank stare. The way she tilted her head curiously at Elsa’s explanation. The way she let Elsa have her chance to share as much or as little as she wanted to before speaking. The way she gave the warmest smile and hug. It was almost like…there was no thinking involved. All Anna had to do was listen and accept. And that was exactly what she did. She never pried anything out of Elsa. Once in a while she would ask a question. The most annoying one would be when they went out and Anna would point out a girl, asking Elsa if she was cute. As if looks alone were enough to set something up.

Every time they’d have a talk, Elsa would insist Anna would never understand. As much as the younger wanted to and insist Elsa find a way to help her in some way, Elsa knew it would never be the case. Anna could never understand the struggle or fear that came with her sexuality. But not once did Anna so much as imply that it meant something was wrong with Elsa. She could still recall Anna's words in the simplest, purest form possible.

_"You aren't different; you just love different."_

What was so wrong about that?

Maybe after all that time dealing with Elsa, Anna hearing of any other sexuality or romantic or gender orientation was as simple as saying 'ok' and moving on.

Finally, the question that plagued Elsa as her memories faded surfaced. “How can I expect that from anyone else? How can I just blindly trust the chance someone might act similarly?”

“It’s always a risk telling someone,” Kristoff confessed. “Anna reacted in the way Kenai should have. But you’ll never know if you don’t try. Sometimes you just have to take that leap of faith.”

“I don’t know if I can…” Elsa confided. “There’s….” She paused again. How much should she really tell Kristoff? Especially when she hadn’t even fully opened up to Anna about Maren? Elsa’s arm moved from the pillow and wrapped around her body. She just needed to say something. She sighed. “Just because someone was ok…. I…. I still work with these people, Kristoff.”

“Wait so….” He took a moment to connect the dots. “Does that mean you told someone? Other than us?”

“I did…” she breathed.

“Elsa, that’s great!” he exclaimed.

“No. No it’s not. Because that’s one more person who knows,” Elsa replied.

“Why?” he wondered. “Was it something they said?”

“No…. It went….” She exhaled. “It went better than I could have imagined. It’s just….” Her eyes shifted downward, as if she were avoiding eye contact. “Look at how it went when you told Kenai. What if someone else found out?”

“Oh…. Oh.” He sounded thoughtful at first, dragging out the first oh. Then the second one came out, much shorter and full of realization.

“I can’t let that happen,” she whispered. “I can’t tell her.”

“Hey. Don’t let my sad college story get you down. Ok? Just hear me out. And if you’re not going to pretend you’re looking at me and listening, then look at Bruni,” he encouraged.

“How…?”

“Have you been looking down this whole time?”

“No.”

“Elsa.”

“Yes…”

“Ok then. Now, take a deep breath and look at the cat.”

What choice did she have? Elsa took a long breath in and then allowed herself to exhale. Turning her body, she made herself comfortable on her bed before staring at her companion. The cat was curled up, for once; head tilted and tongue sticking out slightly as he slept peacefully.

“Are you looking at him?”

“Yes.”

“Good.” Kristoff cleared his throat. “Look, it sucked. And it hurt. And yeah, it was hard to let someone know I liked them after that. People…they’re going to make their assumptions no matter what. And we’re always going to have to explain or defend ourselves. But when we do that, that’s how we know whether we can trust people or not. Look at how well it worked out with me and Anna. I was so lucky I found someone who doesn’t just accept me; she encourages me to share that side of me. Anna _wants_ to know when I find someone else attractive. She _wants_ to know what I respond to. It helps her feel closer to me. Even if she’ll never completely understand, she makes the effort every time. It’s her way of showing that I never have to hide around her. That’s exactly what someone should be doing. And if this girl…if she finds out and reacts negatively then it’s her problem. She doesn’t deserve you. But you’re never going to know unless you try. That doesn’t mean you have to tell her tomorrow, or next week, or even this year. It just means you have to be open to the possibilities. You are an incredible person, Elsa. Let her decide if she thinks the same based on all of you, not just a part of you. You have a lot more to offer than you think.”

What did Elsa have to offer? She was a workaholic. She put more energy into everyone else than herself. She had anxiety. She kept her distance. She had a wall in front of her most, if not at all times. She didn’t particularly like dealing with people. She overthought and jumped to conclusions. That was only to name a few. What the hell could someone possibly see in her? What could _Maren_ possibly see in her?

But there was the obvious answer. The first answer Kristoff gave when he described Elsa.

Her heart.

She was compassionate. She was loyal. She always tried to ask if someone needed something. After every horrible customer, her first response was to ask if her coworkers were ok. She tried to make sure everyone felt safe, comfortable, and protected. When Elsa cared about people, she showed it; whether it was simply by asking them something or doing something extreme like drawing an intricate portrait of them. She cared.

It was one of the first things Kristoff noticed about her when she brought Gale to get checked on. She wanted to know everything that was going on; hear every explanation or possibility; find out anything and everything she had to do because of how much the cat had meant to her. And every time since then, when Kristoff talked about Elsa, he made sure to bring that up. How much she cared.

It made her eyes itch to fully realize how someone other than Anna could think so highly of her. And understand what it felt like to be cared about in return. For so long Elsa put up her boss woman front. The Snow Queen persona. She concealed. She knew she had the trust and respect as someone in charge. Not once did she believe that with that came admiration. That she could be cared for in return.

Elsa replayed Nani’s reaction in her mind. Her response had been brief and simple. That was who she was. So much like Elsa, Nani was someone who hardly let her guard down. But in that moment? With that exchange? Not once did Elsa have to fully explain herself or ask anything of Nani. There was acceptance and the promise of keeping the secret. Nani loved to make people uncomfortable; but she wasn’t going to do it at the expense of outing Elsa. She cared enough to do that.

Her mind was still not fully at ease. Nor did Elsa believe she felt comfortable confronting Maren with her feelings any time soon. But what she had now, was hope. A new sense of hope. Not the one she thought she had which quickly faded due to her overthinking and panicking. One that had the potential to last.

“So,” Kristoff’s soft voice broke the lull, “how are you feeling now?”

“I think….” She paused. “I think there’s something I have to say.”

“‘Shut your big fat mouth and let me get some sleep?’” he joked.

Elsa’s lip tilted. “Hm. Tempting. But…not exactly.”

“What is it?”

She took a deep breath. In.

And out.

In. And out.

In. And out.

“Take your time,” he encouraged softly.

She breathed in.

And out.

After another breath in, she let the softest melody escape her lips.

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

_Ah ah oh oh oh oh_

Her heart rate slowed. Her breathing remained steady. The repetition calmed her. And the comfort of having her friend on the other end of the line, accepting her process and patiently waiting for her, helped more than Elsa realized.

She could say it.

She could say it with more conviction than she did earlier.

It likely wouldn’t last, nor did Elsa believe she would draw up the nerve to repeat it to anyone else any time soon.

But in this moment? For Kristoff? For all that he said? For all the effort he put into her? For all the belief he had in her? She could say it. She took one more breath in.

“I’m an asexual lesbian.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been sitting and waiting for the right moment for this. I know it's not as groundbreaking as the previous chapter, but we also get something we don't get enough of. Ice Bros. Seriously, can we see more of Elsa and Kristoff's friendship!
> 
> I'd been debating on the right way to reintroduce Kristoff since he didn't exactly get his justice with the brief appearance early on. And originally i planned for him to come in the store, he'd start interacting with Elsa or Maren, then the other would come up and it'd just be this big What The Hell Moment. But especially after Elsa's coming out last chapter and having mentioned in passing of this story that this Kristoff identifies as bi (which probably means he's Elsa's only known connection to an LGBTQ+ person) it felt like there needed to be a more personal moment first. Kristoff and Elsa have similar traits, specifically with their introverted-ness and their love of animals so it felt like, with Elsa's realization and her coming out, this was who and what she needed next. Correct me if i'm wrong, but i believe Jenn Lee said when originally asked about Frozen 2, that every day Elsa was telling her where she needs to go. That's the approach i've been taking with this story. I'm trying to make sure i'm a few chapters written ahead as i post to keep the momentum going but aside from that, every time i finish a chapter i try to think, what's next for these characters? What are they telling me they need next? And maybe that plays a part in things being dragged out, i have no idea. I just know i want to do them...or is it write them?...justice.
> 
> This was also a good time to get more hints of the past. And of course after this chapter was already written, i was totally fangirling over Ferret Gale in the fic Seize This Day so there was some joking about having Ryder bring in or adopt a Ferret Gale here. But maybe next time or maybe later? Who knows! But now we're given an idea of how Elsa and Kristoff met and see there was a cat before Bruni which actually had been my plan for weeks. For the ending, i decided last week when i was rereading to include this tease of 'the voice'. And i know, speaking to AshSilver99's comment, this is probably not the tease or revisit to the voice anyone was expecting but that there was hope for it to come back. But in rereading and looking back on when Maren heard 'the voice' i just started wondering, what if this was a thing Elsa did when she thought no one heard her in the store? What if she used it as a calming technique or something after a bad shift? I don't know how accurate that is IRL, or effective for that matter, as opposed to breathing techniques. But going off of that theory, this here felt like an absolute moment for Elsa to revisit her voice. And unlike at her job where she does try to conceal, where she does have the Snow Queen persona or whatever, she trusts Kristoff. It feels like with him and Anna, if this was something Elsa felt she had to do in the moment when only they were around she absolutely would. Any other time, no one else could be around. It's like how her big ballads are always when she knows she's alone. I have no idea if that actually makes sense or if it's just me blabbing but i really hope you guys understand what i'm trying to say lol.
> 
> And i also hope you guys enjoy Elsa mentally torturing herself. It's both fun and such a pain for me to write!
> 
> I have another packed work week, thanks to me needing more hours and my supervisor generously (re:selfishly) scheduling me every night this week. (Work has been even more fun because now that my state is in phase 3 less people are wearing masks and are more on top of each other than normal even though they should not be doing either at all. So if anyone has a spare giant rock to send for me to drop on my head, please feel free to share! XD) So as much as i'm going to try and get at least one other chapter written, i have a few already done to suffice for the next, i think 4? updates. And i'll also be working on some oneshots as well somehow, to be posted in July for Elsamaren week. Here's hoping i can get it all done lol! With the next update i will also add more tags such as Coming Out, Asexual Elsa, and Asexual Lesbian Elsa so to give a chance for anyone to catch up. I say this every time and i'll continue to say it and drive you all crazy, thank you so much for reading, commenting, kudos-giving, and for just being as encouraging and supportive as you have been. It's meant so much for this story as a whole, and last chapter it took on a whole meaning which i still don't think i can fully describe properly. This has felt like such a gift to be able to write and share this not just to you guys but for myself as well in this pandemic mess and i'm so grateful it's been as much a distraction for you as it has been for me. Please stay as safe and healthy as possible, and i will be back later in the week with another update! <3


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i was gonna post this last night and then i sorta kinda got distracted. Good distracted last night, though i can't say the same thing when it comes to my job. Things have been crazy at work to the point where i question how much of the retail crap i can throw in here or if i should pretty much base my entire fanfiction writing not-career off of this one story lol (someone please talk me outta that!). The crazy retail stories are coming in by the barrels, there is a lotta drama, and throw in some new managers changing how everything is run in the middle of a holiday week totally throwing us off.... Ok actually instead let's focus on the positive stuff! I wanna just take a moment to appreciate the responses you guys gave for Kristoff last chapter. From just enjoying the IceBros moments to Kristoff being supportive to even the dialogue he was using. And, i think everyone's favorite part: "You were two tables away and clearly eyeing us the whole time." Just. Yes. So now, if i may poke fun of myself, i got two whole things right about this story! XD So few quick comment responses here. I'm hoping if time permits i will also at some point this weekend be able to actually respond to the longer comments with real detail and thoughtfulness from last chapter.  
> @fanficfruitts - Dude i didn't even realize until i read your comment how accurate that is. What i wouldn't have given to talk to someone like me when i was younger and have them walk me through it and be like, "yup this is what you're probably thinking and feeling, lemme tell you some stuff". The struggle is real and it continues! You hearing this, Disney? Let. Elsa. Love! [ _cough cough_ Honeymaren _cough_ ]  
> @Mlauren - Spoiler but probably not a spoiler because it's retail...there's gonna be A LOT more hurting down the line 0.0 i'm loving how much cannon is just being called out here! Also i laughed out loud probably too much reading "now tell Maren you love her"! XD  
> @Domika83- How did you know it was gonna be _at least_ 3 chapters LOL. Part of me is kicking myself for dragging some of this out so much and the other part of me is just, but this is the point of the slow burn, you nut, is to drag out getting them together for as long as possible! XD  
> @holographicbubbles - i'm having such a Show Yourself moment with you right now! Like not in a creepy way at all lol! Just in the way that makes me feel, oh my god someone so much like me, you understand me and i just want to hug you!! And i'm so happy that you're feeling so much happiness from this, from the reveal, from typing asexual so much...say it and type it as much as your heart desires! And i'm definitely taking your emoji to be :) partially cause that's what i see it as and partially cause that's what i hope it is lol.  
> @superamy777 - i'm having a moment here, there's a very particular image you have put in my head with that second sentence and i'm not sure if it's my overactive imagination or if it's just the pure hilarity but accurateness of it! XD Elsa's still got a while to go, but i'm hoping it'll all be worth it in the end...whenever that is!  
> @Ravrav - The page count in my Word document as of last chapter is also 287 pages (299 if you include this chapter) in case you wanted to compare it to the word count lol. i love that both you and holographicbubbles picked on the "you aren't different, you just love different" line from last chapter because that's something that's just always stuck out to me personally (which i'll probably type to both of you in more detailed responses lol). But just thank you for noticing and loving that one line! i have not come to a final decision yet on how Maren finds out Elsa is 'the voice' actually! So by all means bring on the suggestions/inspirations! And hey, at least i said _something_ positive this time around in my note about my writing so i guess that means i'm off the hook for the obligatory weekly compliment? 0=)  
> @RobinPercher - It definitely makes me feel better to see that you among a few others are on board with my 'voice' idea/theory because that makes my thinking behind it feel more legit and believable. And i can safely say that there is also more of Kristoff to come before you know it!
> 
> Sidenote i am happy to report that there is no retail story behind any retail story this time around, just a normal annoying customer thing that does happen more than you think!

“Attention shoppers, when ready to check out please proceed to Aisle 3 and form a line. It’s one line for both self scan and registers. You will be called to check out when it’s your turn. Please do not cut the line or go under the caution tape. It defeats the purpose. Please keep this in mind as you shop. We are open until eight p.m. tonight. We thank you for shopping at Oaken’s today.”

How many times had Nani made that damn announcement? And how had she not lost her voice between announcing that and yelling for the next available self scan?

Maren had no idea; she only knew that the new process was far easier for the employees to adopt than the customers. It had been the same process since she clocked in hours ago. A customer would come to her line and another would quickly appear behind them, prompting Maren to ask if they came from the line in Aisle 3. Then the customer would throw a fit about having to wait when they were already at the register.

Maren played her part in that, she supposed. She would rather stand behind the register and yell that she was open instead of moving to the head of her lane and signaling for Elsa to send someone down. Maren couldn’t bring herself to look at the woman in the eyes just yet, let alone in her direction. And she was almost certain Elsa was avoiding her. But then again she deserved it, didn’t she? Maren was the one who didn’t show up for her shift. She was the one who called Elsa out. She was the one who got mad.

Thank the retail gods it was Sunday so the madness was expected. It eased Maren in the slightest to think that one of the reasons Elsa was avoiding Maren was because it was so busy and not because there was an issue with her. But as the afternoon went on and it began to slow a bit in the last couple of hours, Maren felt her nerves returning. Elsa hadn’t moved from her post. Customer service was still closed. Elsa was controlling traffic by Aisle 3 while Maren was at register six. If it wasn’t busy and there was no line, why would Elsa basically be on the other side of the store short of wanting to distance herself from Maren?

Don’t think about it, she told herself. There were plenty of reasonable explanations for Elsa staying where she was that didn’t involve Maren. Maybe there were more people shopping. Maybe she wanted to be prepared. There was less than an hour left, after all, so a final rush could be coming in at any time. It was for simplicity’s sake. It couldn’t have completely been because of Maren…right?

“Hey! Can I get some help over here?”

Maren’s thoughts were disrupted by the customer behind her on self scan seven.

“Oh, I’m not watching self scan,” the brunette shook her head.

“Well then who’s supposed to help me?” she questioned.

Maren tilted her body, attempting to see what Nani was up to. Oh…register nine, dealing with a different customer. No surprise there; Maren quickly learned that with self scan came the impossible need to be in at least three places at once. And that some customers would go so far as to pull her away from someone else so she could go help them.

Maren had an unfortunate experience with that early in her last shift.

“It looks like she’s in the middle of helping someone else,” Maren observed.

“I’m just trying to pay so I can get out of here,” the lady argued.

Maren held in a sigh. There didn’t seem to be anyone coming in her direction. And if dealing with this bitch gave Nani one less customer to deal with. “What’s going on?”

“It’s not accepting my card. I tried it three times already,” she complained. “The machine must be broken.”

“Try inserting it.”

“I did.”

“How many times?”

“I don’t know.”

“You have to try inserting it three times.”

“It keeps saying chip malfunction.”

“That’s why you have to try it three times. If it doesn’t work after the third time you slide it.”

Rolling her eyes and groaning loudly, the customer begrudgingly slammed her credit card into the slot on the pin pad. To no surprise, a loud honking once again indicated a chip malfunction. With another scowl, the woman tried again. Same response.

“See??”

“Try inserting it one more time.”

“I don’t have time for this!”

Neither do I, Maren thought. “Want me to give it a try?”

“Whatever.”

Biting her tongue, Maren took the credit card and lightly rubbed her finger over the chip. She inserted it and the message came up again. Then she turned the card around and slid it. After instructing the customer to follow the prompts on the pin pad, Maren took a step back.

Not authorized, the screen read.

“See??” she reiterated.

“I can try one more time,” Maren offered though much to her chagrin. She assumed one of the reasons the card hadn’t been working was because the customer was shoving it into the slot. All a card generally needed was a simple tap and the prompts would follow.

“Don’t bother. Just leave it.” The customer took her card from Maren and stormed towards the exit, leaving her order on the self scan.

Maren narrowed her gaze and flexed her fingers, as if she were strangling the air in front of her. “I’m gonna hit my head against the wall, I’m gonna hit my head against the wall,” she mumbled. Then, clenching her fingers into her fist, Maren let out an exasperated sigh. She began gathering the rejected items to bring them to the Crap Corner. Fortunately the order wasn’t huge; it couldn’t have been more than twenty dollars by Maren’s estimate. In the meantime, Nani was with the same customer on register nine. With any luck she had someone more understanding.

As Maren returned to her register she tilted her head, taking notice of someone standing in front of the service desk. “Um, sorry, customer service is closed now.”

“Oh, it’s ok. I’m just waiting for someone.” The customer turned around, revealing a familiar – albeit mask-covered – face.

“Kristoff?” Maren blinked.

“Oh hey Maren. I didn’t know you were working tonight,” he said.

“Yeah. Didn’t Ryder mention my hours changed a while back?” she wondered.

“Maybe. I don’t even remember anymore. It’s been crazy keeping up with the new policies and we’ve been completely swamped,” Kristoff shook his head. “How’s it been here?”

Maren pursed her lips. “Do you really want me to answer that?”

The blond tightened his jaw. “Yeah…probably not.”

“So what are you doing here anyway?” she wondered.

“My friend works here. I just texted her to let her know I stopped by,” he answered.

Maren raised an eyebrow. To her knowledge, unless there were any stockers or deliveries in Receiving, the only ones working were her, Ella, and Elsa. “Well I don’t know if that’s gonna do much good since…”

“Kristoff?”

Maren tilted her head and Kristoff turned around. Finally showing herself from the ocean of customers earlier was Elsa. What brought her to the desk at long last?

“What are you doing here?” Elsa asked.

“I came to see how you were doing,” he replied.

“Is Anna here, too?” she wondered.

“Nope, just me. I came straight from work. Late night. There was an issue with a patient’s scan,” he explained.

Maren blinked. “Wait…I’m confused. You two know each other?”

Elsa didn’t seem to glance towards Maren as she answered. “He’s my sister’s boyfriend.”

“Wait…your sister Anna is the one Ryder keeps talking about?” Maren gasped.

“You mean you didn’t know?” Kristoff asked her.

Maren shrugged her shoulders. “How was I supposed to? Anna’s a pretty common name. I didn’t know your Anna was Elsa’s Anna.”

“Hold on, now I’m confused,” Elsa shook her head. “Does this mean the Ryder you mentioned is also Maren’s brother?”

“Yeah, he’s the one I went to school with. He graduated after me,” Kristoff nodded. “You mean you two work together and you didn’t know that?”

Maren rubbed her temples. “Ok why do I hear Fred singing It’s a Small World in my head?”

“Oh, I hear it, too,” Elsa sighed.

Kristoff furrowed his brows in confusion. “I mean, I can go…?” he offered. He seemed unsure. But then again, Maren couldn’t blame him. No one would understand their Fred references unless they worked with him. The blond then shook his head and focused on Elsa. “I just wanted to come by and make sure you were ok after last night.”

“Last night?” Maren repeated. She took a step forward, concern becoming evident in her eyes. Her heart began to speed as her mind played through the possibilities. “What happened? Is everything all right? Did someone give you a hard time again? Was it-?”

“Nothing!” Elsa exclaimed, taking a leap back. Her hands were up in front of her as a defense mechanism, and her back appeared arched slightly. Flinching, Elsa urged her body to straighten and her arms lowered slightly. “Nothing….” She repeated in a much softer tone.

Except it didn’t put Maren at ease. Worry was still evident in her eyes. The sudden jerk of Elsa’s body. The quick response. The widened eyes. The avoidance. Maren attempted to recall the last instance she saw a reaction like that from her superior. The only one that came to mind was when Snow tried to hug her. Elsa had been apologetic after and neither she nor Snow seemed to take offense to the other. But this time? Elsa meant exactly what she did. Her actions spoke loud and clear. And it hurt Maren to know that she caused that. She made Elsa so uncomfortable that the woman had to increase the space between them and lie about something. But that was what Maren deserved, wasn’t it? She pushed Elsa away first. She snapped at her. Took her frustrations out on her. Maren realized now that, while both of their responses that night were justified, there was also blame on each side. They both screwed up; it wasn't just Maren for once.

Maren’s gaze shifted downward and her head turned in the other direction. Her voice came out softly with regret. “Sorry….”

“It’s fine,” the blonde replied hastily. “It’s nothing. It’s….” Her eyes darted away, and then to Kristoff. Even as Maren looked away, it didn’t go unnoticed that Elsa refused to look in her direction. Or at her. She was barely even speaking to Maren in complete sentences. That was how much discomfort Maren was causing her. “Kristoff, I appreciate you coming but we do have to close soon…”

“It’s ok. Do you get a break after that? If you still wanted to talk at all?” he offered.

“I have to take the tills in after…I’ll probably clock out by eight-thirty,” she thought aloud. “I suppose we could sit outside for a while.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ll just pick up something to eat and you can come out whenever. I’ll tell Anna I’m grabbing dinner with a coworker,” he suggested.

“Thank you. I’ll text you.” After an understanding nod from her friend, Elsa left the two of them.

Maren couldn’t help but lift her head. She gazed in Elsa’s direction longingly. She hoped that maybe, just maybe, Elsa would turn her head and look back. It didn’t matter if it was for a second. It didn’t matter if it only looked like she might turn. Maren just wanted _something_. But that moment never came and in place of it was a sinking feeling in the brunette’s chest. Could it mean that, even with someone else present, Elsa really didn’t want to be around Maren? Did she take Maren’s anger to heart? Did she think it was really best to not interact? What if she completely accepted Maren’s claim? Don’t talk to me, Maren had said. She never should have let those words escape her lips in the first place.

“Hey…you ok?” Kristoff asked.

Maren blinked. “What? Oh…yeah…. Sure.”

“You hesitated,” he noticed.

“Just some crazy shifts. It’s nothing,” Maren lied. She walked back to her register and leaned against the bag rack, staring at the one-way to see if any customers were coming in her direction.

“It kind of sounds like something,” he said.

“And you’re not worried about lying to your girlfriend?” she interrogated with hopes of changing the subject.

“Anna and Elsa are pretty involved in each others’ lives. They get protective of each other. So if Anna finds out I’m consorting without her about Elsa she’ll….” He cut himself off and shook his head. “Wait a minute, why am I explaining myself? This isn’t about me.”

Actually, Maren would prefer if it were about Kristoff instead. Anything to keep the focus off of her. “Kind of sounds like it is, since you know so much about them.”

“Anna is my girlfriend. And Elsa’s my friend. I’m concerned is all,” he said simply.

Maren folded her arms and turned her body to face Kristoff. “Did something happen?”

“That’s not up to me to say.”

“You were just asking her if she was ok after last night.”

“You weren’t here?”

“No, I was off.”

“Huh.”

“Huh what?”

“Nothing.”

He shook his head and cleared his throat. He was either hiding something or trying to divert Maren’s attention. “Look it’s not up to me to share any details about Elsa’s life. She’s a pretty private person.”

“Tell me about it,” Maren muttered.

His eyebrows lowered. “You obviously see a different side to her. I’m just looking out for her.”

Maren resented that. She liked Kristoff fine; he was a perfectly nice guy. But if he really thought that he and Anna were the only ones worried about Elsa, he had another thing coming. Maren and the others saw Elsa every night. They trusted her. They believed in her. That would follow her to the ends of Retail Hell. That was why she was their manager. Their retail queen. Their matriarch. Kristoff had no idea how far the employees at Oaken’s would go to bat for Elsa. How far Maren would go for Elsa.

“We look out for her just fine.”

“Ok what’s with the defense?”

“Nothing. I’m not defensive.”

“No, you’re getting a bit temperamental there.”

“I’m just saying you’re not the only one worried about her.”

“And I’m just saying, I don’t work with her every day. I’ve known Elsa for years. She’s one of my closest friends. I’m trying to make sure she’s ok.”

“And I can’t do that, too?”

“You’re just her coworker.”

Maren opened her mouth to argue. She wanted to fight him. She wanted to say she was more than that. She wanted to say Elsa was more to her than that. She would give anything for just one moment to admit how much Elsa meant to her, to let her feelings be known, to have the whole world on pause just to give her one minute to speak her mind. If she just had a chance to tell someone; to validate her feelings and prove that someone else would go to the ends of the earth and back for her.

But….

But….

Maren averted her gaze and dropped her arms to her side. She knew very well why she couldn’t say that. If any hint of a confirmation so much left her mouth…. Kristoff was right. If anyone knew Elsa best, it was Kristoff and Anna. Maren had no right to battle the way she was. She was just a coworker. Hell, by all accounts she probably wasn’t even considered a coworker as much as she was Elsa’s employee. Maren wanted to believe she was Elsa’s friend. And, much as she hated to admit it, Ryder had been right all along. These people that Maren worked with every day? She had gotten close to them. She didn’t just consider them her friends; they might as well have been her family. But she wasn’t even that to Elsa, was she? Compared to Kristoff? To Anna? Maren was nothing.

There was a long pause.

“I’m sorry,” Kristoff eventually apologized. “That was wrong. You obviously care a lot about her.”

More than you know, Maren wanted to say.

Except she couldn’t.

“I do…” Maren confessed simply. “I just…. I’m worried about her.”

Kristoff shrugged and looked at his friend with sympathy. “But it’s not up to me to share anything. You have to talk to her.”

“She doesn’t want to talk to me, though. She…” Maren started, but cut herself off. She glanced toward self scan to make sure Nani wasn’t eavesdropping. Meanwhile, in the opposite direction, Ella was spraying her register. Elsa was still out of sight. Sighing, Maren left the confines of her register and pulled Kristoff to the side. They stood next to customer service, just in front of the time clock. It was close enough so Maren could still watch her register, but hopefully far enough so no one would overhear. “I think I really hurt her, Kristoff. I just….” She bit her lower lip and then slowly exhaled. “Can you tell me if I had anything to do with it at all? Last night? Just…yes or no?”

She had to know. If it was something someone said to trigger Elsa back to their argument. If something reminded Elsa of Maren. If Elsa had been beating herself up, feeling like she was the one at fault. If there was remotely any way Maren had played a part in any of Elsa’s distress. Then she could try to make things right.

Kristoff uneasily rubbed the back of his head. He tugged his lip to the side and kept his gaze off of Maren. He wanted to say something; she could tell. But if there was one thing Maren knew about Kristoff, he was loyal. It was why, as polite and friendly as he was to Ryder, he never responded to the advances. He was loyal to Anna. And if he were like that to his girlfriend, of course he would be more so to his friend.

“I can’t,” he sighed, slumping his shoulders. “If you really want to find anything out, you have to try and talk to Elsa for yourself. I know it seems impossible sometimes, but…. Just be patient with her. When she wants to open up, when she wants to say anything, she’ll make it known. She’s worth that wait.”

“She is,” Maren agreed without missing a beat. She knew it beyond a shadow of a doubt. Elsa was…at times, indescribable. Maren couldn’t always think of enough words to express what an incredible woman Elsa was. It wasn’t just how hard she worked or the effort she put into the job for everyone’s sakes. It was how far she was willing to go for her coworkers. It was her always offering a helping hand. It was the way she was with Snow. How she didn’t just accept the girl as her sister, but the rest as…as a family. She cared immensely. That was something always worth waiting for.

“Hey…if it means anything, there is one thing I can tell you,” Kristoff admitted.

Maren rolled her eyes. “You’re not gonna call me out like Nani does all the time, are you?”

“Heh.” He seemed to give the most lopsided smile before shaking his head. “What I can tell you is, that when Elsa is ready to talk she will. And that she knows people care. She cares, too. She just…has a different way of showing it.”

Maren raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“You know how, when most people care, they make themselves available to you physically and emotionally?”

To that, she nodded.

“Elsa’s not exactly that way. It’s like…the first time she came to the clinic with her cat. When she was just talking to me as a person, she had her guard up. She was pretty rigid. But as soon as we started talking about her cat, you could tell she was completely present. She still kept to herself, but her tone completely changed. She asked anything and everything she could when it came to Gale. What she should do, what she should look out for, what should be done differently, what procedures we’d have to take…. She was there. You felt it. Maybe everyone here was the first ones to call her the Snow Queen. But Elsa’s kind of always been like that, as far as I know. But she’d do anything for the ones she cares about. You have to look past the obvious with her. In the grand scheme of things, Elsa may not be the most conventional person ever. But when you get to know her, the _actual_ her, you’ll pick up on how she shows she cares.”

It was a lot more than what Maren was expecting. She anticipated a simple answer from Kristoff. That way, he wouldn’t be betraying her trust in any way. But the depth he went into; the conviction he spoke with; the heart he put into it; he _knew_ Elsa. And he was genuinely trying to share something with that knowledge. What or why, Maren couldn’t say for sure.

The only thing she could possibly think of was that she had to get a grip. Nani had said the other night Maren should just suck it up and come into work; now Kristoff was telling her to suck it up and make the first move. Even if it meant admitting she was wrong. If that were what it would take to initiate the conversation, Maren would do it. It had not been an entire shift and already the lack of communication with Elsa was driving Maren crazy. She couldn’t go on this way. For the sake of their friendship. For Elsa’s sake. Maren had to do it. After all, Kristoff said it best – Elsa was worth it.

And not just as a coworker or as a boss.

As a person.

Maren wanted to believe that she knew Elsa better than anyone else in the store. She wanted to believe that she shared something with her. She wanted to believe that maybe, just maybe, there was at least a hint of something there. But if Kristoff’s account of her was any indication, Maren didn’t know the woman as well as she believed. Nor did she have the right to fawn over Elsa the way she did if that were the case.

She debated asking Kristoff if she had a chance. If, by some stroke of luck, that Maren could win Elsa’s trust and friendship back, that maybe there really could be something there. If Elsa could even feel a fraction of the same way.

But that wouldn’t be fair. And to ask that of Kristoff really was asking him to betray her. Maren couldn’t do that. She was going to have to figure this shit out on her own.

“I know she cares,” Maren finally confessed. “But…. I don’t deserve that from her right now. It’s on me.” Scoffing, she muttered to herself with folded arms, “Guess she wasted all that time on the drawing for nothing.”

Kristoff blinked. “Drawing?”

Maren cocked her head. “Huh?”

“Did…did you say drawing? As in…she actually made something for you?” he asked cautiously.

She raised an eyebrow. Was that supposed to mean something? “Yeah…. Why?”

Suddenly Kristoff stiffened. His eyes widened slightly, as if realization were slapping him across the face.

He knew something.

“Kristoff…?”

“I….” He paused, clearing his throat. Steadily, with each passing sentence, he began taking a step back. “I should go wait outside. Let you get back to work.”

“But there’s no one…”

“I’m sure they’ll be coming back any minute.”

“I don’t think…”

“Yup, if Elsa asks just tell her I’ll be outside.”

“But…”

“Actually I better call Anna, too.”

“Kristoff!”

But it was too late. As quickly as he could, Kristoff turned on his heel and raced out the door. Maren was left standing beside the service desk alone and clueless. What the hell brought on that reaction? What was she missing?

“Wow.”

Maren pouted. Nani’s snickering comment from behind was definitely not helping! How long had she been eavesdropping? And what the hell was she going to say that would proceed to drive Maren crazy for the rest of the night?

“Go on,” the shorter woman groaned, “just say it.”

“I don’t know, you’re making it way too easy.”

“Just get it over with.”

“Alright, but remember you asked for it.”

A scoff was quickly followed by a burst of laughter, no doubt accompanied with Nani’s signature smirk. Maren was _not_ going to live this one down!

“You really are the most oblivious person I ever met!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what would you like to hear first tonight? "MAREN YOU IDIOT!!" or "KRISTOFF KNOWS!!"? 0=)
> 
> Sorry not sorry, had to get that off my chest.
> 
> This was my way of kinda tying the more recent chapters together. After the pretty deep two chapter delve into Elsa, which only takes place over the course of one night, we're reminded that her last interaction with Maren wasn't exactly...well, good. So this kinda brings us back around and reminds us that both Elsa and Maren were having their own revelations, Elsa with her sexuality and general feelings and Maren with realizing her actual feelings went deeper than just a basic crush. And what Maren is so worried about Elsa thinking of her this chapter, it's almost funny cause she thinks it's something she said or did when in reality it's just Elsa having feelings for Maren. So she's being INSANELY oblivious!
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - It's partial obliviousness and partial underlying self confidence issues. For those reading this for the first time, obviously MAREN YOU IDIOT has become a running gag but i've done some rewrites since first posting. Up to Chapter 32 it's primarily occasional sentences/thoughts about her worrying about screwing up It's meant to, at the very least, hint at some self doubt Maren has which would cause her to question the obvious reciprocation of feelings from Elsa. i apologize for not editing it into a previous author note but especially since the drawing made it SO DAMN OBVIOUS it felt like the right time to comment about this. The gag has just been that - a running gag, and not meant to put down Maren in any way. We have just accepted her as our idiot and we love her no matter what.]
> 
> I do realize that Kristoff's "you're just her coworker" comment may have come off a little harsher than intended; but i do hope, especially as he dove into the description of Elsa, it's realized that his intention wasn't to hurt or put down Maren. Part of it is, he's being protective of her and rightfully so, but the other part of it is, i felt like there had to be something to push Maren over the edge. And just like...not bring her down from her high horse, but to bring her back to reality in a way. She spends all that time at work with Elsa and believes she has this profound connection ( _cough_ and attraction _cough cough_ ) for her but the reality is, there's still a lot she doesn't know about Elsa. And between how much time we spend at work in general and the pandemic, sometimes it feels like the coworkers are the only people we see. I know personally, not even just in the last 4-5 months but as a whole, i joke so much that i not only see my coworkers more than my own friends and family, i joke about saying i love them more than i do my mom. (In my defense, my coworkers do save me from self scan when it's time to go home!) The point is, it's so easy to forget that the people we work with have families and friends and lives outside of work and i think it's just a small reality check Maren needed in that moment.
> 
> Sidenote it wasn't written for confirmation at all, but let's just pretend that Nani overheard Maren and Kristoff talking by the time clock when she went to cancel the transaction the annoying customer left at the beginning of the chapter. Because yes, the order would have needed to be voided after the lady left. And also yes, both the constant complaining of chip malfunctions and customers leaving their crap behind because there's an issue and they don't want to wait are very real, constant problems in my store. .... And also as another sidenote, no i am not having too much fun at all referencing a perhaps too quirky Fred from Big Hero 6 lol.
> 
> So this week i didn't get all the writing done that i wanted, and i only made a little progress with one thing. I think because it has been a holiday week and holidays often equate to the end of the world, especially in grocery stores, it's just been tiring and stressful to find a creative muse when all i wanna do is just lay down and daydream. It also doesn't help that one of my coworkers who i've become very close with is gonna be leaving so it makes me sad. So, as i said, i do plan on trying to give more detailed and thoughtful responses from the reviews you guys left last chapter because you absolutely deserve it, but in case i don't get to all of them it's a work-taking-over-my-life thing and i promise i will try to do better in upcoming or future chapters. (Time? Life? What are these words people make up? Sounds about as fake as words like sleep and vacation!) Anyway, as usual, thank you guys so much for reading and supporting this story the way you do. I'll be back late Monday night with a new update in the hopes that during the day i can actually get something accomplished! Stay safe, healthy, enjoy this night of constant fireworks, and if anyone has a spare giant rock to throw on my head to get me outta self scan this weekend please feel free to share! 0=)


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i'm gonna keep this author's note pretty short, actually. It's not that there aren't a lot of comments to respond to - some i'm sure i'll reply to later - but the majority of them are MAREN YOU IDIOT!!! Which i am absolutely living for. i'm just loving that we're all collectively thinking and saying the same thing and that if it had a tune it would probably be the theme for this story at this rate. Heavily debating on adding it as a tag or not by the way! i try not to play favorites with comments or anything, but Superamy777 just summed up the last chapter so perfectly and hilariously and i can literally hear Kristoff's and Maren's voices in it. XD So thank you for that laugh, i absolutely needed it to survive this crazy weekend. Don't get me started on Constant Fireworks Day. That was just _/shudder_. Amen to the comments saying other countries matter because damn we suck. So. Miserably. Anyway i'm gonna end this off by saying thank you for the laughs and especially for the positivity from the last few chapters. That's just been amazing. Not even just on the content of the chapters but for my writing and me as a person. It just feels like so much. i'm just here, being a part time cashier basically living in my store, being obsessed with this ship and somehow trying to make people smile in the process and i still have no idea how the hell this story is making that remotely possible but i'm so happy it's doing that and i just wanna make sure you guys know that and how much i appreciate it and you.
> 
> And now, back to the show! _MAREN YOU IDIOT plays in the background_
> 
> [Edit 12/20: **Disclaimer:** MAREN YOU IDIOT is a trade mark running gag of this fic, it is not meant to be used in negativity against Maren, especially after the rewrites which imply that she probably does have every right to question the feelings, which will be fully implied/expanded on in a later chapter. Idiot or not, Maren is adorable and we have all turned into Nani by poking fun at her teasingly consider this one of many apologies about that but i will not apologize for us showing affection for Maren because we love her no matter what. We now return to our regularly scheduled chapter.]

Ok Maren, you can do this. Just open the door and she if she wants to talk. No…just say you need to talk and then you’ll leave. Two minutes, that’s all you need. Two minutes. You can do this. It’s Elsa. You _have_ to do this, she thought.

Maren paced quietly back and forth in front of the break room door, attempting to work up the nerve to make things right with Elsa. It wasn’t so much procrastinating, as it was her pride getting in the way. Her going in there and openly and willingly admitting she was wrong was not in her nature. She hoped that reminding herself of how necessary it was for her and Elsa, as well as just Elsa, would give her the push she needed. Instead constantly reminding herself of that only made her more nervous. After the way Elsa reacted to her yesterday…. Even after they closed and Elsa finished her lunch break, there was still little interaction between them. Elsa only asked Maren to do a walk around the store and take care of the damages; that was it. No doubt it had been an easy way to keep Maren occupied and away from Elsa. As a result, Maren knew very well that entering the break room, Elsa’s only safe space save for the cash office, would be a violation somehow. It was just going to open a can of worms.

She exhaled.

She had to do it. For Elsa.

For Angel.

Maren shook her head, as if it were going to vaporize the blush that splashed across her face. She had to stop doing that.

Ok, she thought, here goes….

Taking in a deep breath and puffing out her chest, Maren turned the doorknob. She stepped into the break room and took notice of Elsa sitting at the table facing the door. Her blue pools appeared glued to her phone and, instead of the usual snack or dinner – a cup of chocolate cereal or bag of m&m’s – there was an unopened cookies and cream bar. Something was not right; Maren had rarely seen Elsa go a night without chocolate, but not once did she see _white_ chocolate in the woman’s possession. Ok, she definitely had to do something now.

Maren stepped closer to the table and pulled a chair from the side. She held onto the back of it, not moving to sit just yet. “Hi….”

Elsa’s eyes snapped up and, much like the night before, with Maren’s approach came the jerk of Elsa’s body. She quickly locked her phone and attempted to grab her bar. “Oh! Sorry…I’ll, I can move….”

Maren held her hands up. “No. Please don’t,” she tried quickly. “I just wanna talk.”

“I really should get back…” Elsa lied.

“You clocked out ten minutes ago,” she reminded her. Maren pulled in her lips and then let out a sigh. “Please Elsa? Just two minutes?”

The woman seemed to be contemplating. Maren expected at least a minute of silence as a result. However, to her surprise, Elsa decided rather quickly to steadily sit back down. She rested her belongings on the table, though still didn’t fully bring her gaze towards Maren. The brunette had no idea what could have possibly brought on the decision so quickly, but she was not one to argue. Not about this.

Maren breathed out. “I just wanted to apologize. I never should have snapped at you. I was angry and hurt and I really wanted to scream at and punch that guy. But I took it out on you instead and it was wrong. I never should have said anything I did.”

“No…you were completely right.” Though Elsa was facing Maren, her stare was focused on her uneaten food. Her voice still had the softness to it, though less airy than usual. The atmosphere between the two of them was improved compared to the night before, but normal it was not. “You should have been furious. And I don’t blame you for projecting any of that onto me. I handled the whole thing poorly. I hesitated to take action in fear of an escalation, as if I were somehow putting everyone in danger. Or…you.”

“But I also shouldn’t’ve reacted the way I did. I was ready to go and give that bastard a piece of my mind. You were right to hold me back. You were just looking out for me. I couldn’t see it past my own fury,” she replied.

“But sending you to your break wasn’t the right thing to do. I just thought….” Elsa sighed. “It doesn’t matter what I thought. I should have reacted sooner and I shouldn’t have let my fear of that Weasel cloud my trust of you. I was wrong.”

Maren’s eyebrows tilted. “We both were. And I am sorry. About everything.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Elsa nodded.

“But you already apologized. With the Cocoa Puff’s,” she pointed out. Maren tapped her fingers against the chair and then swung on her heels slightly. “Which…I kind of already started eating. So…I may have inadvertently already accepted when I opened the box.”

The faintest ‘heh’ escaped Elsa. “I just wanted to give you something. I know it’s not much…”

“It’s plenty,” Maren promised. “But…can I ask…? About the gift card…?”

She willed her eyes to fall on Elsa completely. The woman’s head was still tilted down so Maren couldn’t read her entire expression. She thought there was a blush that flashed across her face…unless they were freckles? Wait…. Did Elsa have freckles?

“It’s customary here to reward someone with a gift card. The customer that night – the one from self scan who called and spoke to the police – she couldn’t stop raving about you. She saw the way you were protecting Snow and wished she could have seen you give that Weasel a piece of your mind. She said how brave you were and how lucky we are to have you here. Someone who is willing to defend us the way you do. It shows how much effort you put in here and how much you care,” she explained.

The entire time Elsa’s head remained lowered; she still couldn’t bring herself to look at Maren fully. Part of Maren felt relieved at that; Elsa couldn’t see her face heat up at the commentary. The other part, however? Maren couldn’t help but wonder how much of that had been the customer talking and how much of it was really Elsa. Was there a chance that remotely any portion of that had simply been Elsa projecting? As if using the customer as a guise was going to help her conceal? But why should she conceal when she already apologized?

“So then….” Her eyes shifted to the side and her grip on the chair tightened. “Um…. If that’s true….” Here she went. “Why’d you write Honey on the post it?”

There was a pause.

“I….” Elsa’s voice became quieter. Was she…nervous? “I thought it would mean more….”

Maren’s hips shifted back and forth. “Kind of…like how…. You signed Angel?”

She blinked before forcing her eyes to look at Elsa. To her surprise, the blonde gave a single nod.

Maren pulled her eyes away. There was definitely a blush on her cheeks now. She didn’t realize how strongly she’d feel upon hearing that confirmation. Her heart thumped repeatedly. The heat within Maren became uncomfortable enough that she had to fiddle with her shirt collar. She even had to resort to tucking hair behind her ear. Maren almost never touched her own hair. Not voluntarily, anyway. Suddenly Kristoff’s voice rang in her ears.

_"You’ll pick up on how she shows she cares."_

How many people used nicknames in place of actual names? How many times had Maren called Elsa Angel? Whether to her face or in her mind? Elsa used Honey on Maren once, albeit teasingly. But Elsa wasn’t the kind of person to just speak her mind. She thought before she spoke. She chose her words, her description, her tone, everything, so carefully. Why shouldn’t she hesitate to let the name escape her again? Why should she even refer to herself as Angel?

So instead Elsa signed the note that way. And even though she could have very easily addressed both notes to Honey, she chose the one that she felt had greater significance. She wanted to Maren to know that it wasn’t just teasing. She really did think of her as Honey.

Steadily, Maren let her eyes fall on Elsa fully. “Thank you El…. Angel.”

“You’re welcome…. Honey.” Her voice came in the form of barely a whisper. Elsa probably still couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud. That wasn’t her. Not so soon. Not so easily. But…she said it. And then, for the first time since their scuffle, Elsa had been able to look at Maren.

Maren held onto that look for as long as she possibly could. It felt like it had been so long since she’d seen Elsa. Actually seen her. Maren didn’t want to miss a single thing. The way her bangs curved around her forehead, pulled back slightly courtesy of her braid save for the one too-short piece that fell just short of the center. How her platinum blonde hair almost seemed to blend in with her pale skin. The very few dusts of freckles that were splattered on her cheeks…oh! Elsa _did_ have freckles! The shimmering of her light blue eyes, the ones that in the right light could almost reflect that of ice crystals. The way that not one strand of hair was amiss in her braid. How there was just that one air of mystery on her lips. Did the hint of red lipstick hide lips as soft and sweet as chocolate? Or were they slightly chapped from the atmosphere of the store? The way that, when she smiled, Maren could have sworn she saw the cutest little dimple.

Heavens, that woman really was a goddess!

Elsa’s eyes widened. She quickly picked up her phone and began fiddling with it. The response resulted in Maren blinking and shaking her head. Oh shit! How long had she been staring? Did she make Else feel awkward now? Or conscious somehow? Shit what if she knew why Maren was staring? What she was thinking? What if she somehow picked up on Maren’s overwhelming urge to want to kiss her just once? Shit she did it again.

“Um…anyway….” Maren nearly stammered, clearing her throat. Not like it was going to help ease the tension, but what did she have to lose at this point? “I should…I should go back. Let you…yeah; let you finish your break. I’ll just…yeah, ok.”

Maren was only able to take a single step back before she felt her foot somehow became entangled with the leg of the chair. She spun as her foot hooked onto it and then landed face first onto the floor with a gasp. An ‘oomph’ escape her, which was quickly followed by a shuffling on the other side of the table.

“Maren are you alright?” Elsa gasped.

Maren turned to her side, using her elbow to somewhat prop herself up. “Yeah. I’m ok.”

“Do you need a hand?”

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Just lost my balance is all. I got it.”

“It just sounded…”

“It tastes worse than it sounds.”

“I can help…”

“No, I know how you are about contact.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, I got it.”

“I don’t mind.”

“But it’s…”

“Maren!”

By this time Maren had managed to get onto her back, hands flat on the floor to keep her from sliding back down. She attempted to ignore the taste of retail floor on her tongue. That was going to need a long scrub later! Her head popped up, now noticing Elsa kneeling in front of her. The space between them was noticeably minimal, particularly for the break room. If Maren had to guess, they were no more than an arm’s length apart; far enough to still keep some distance but not close enough for her to make a sudden move. Particularly one she might regret later.

She took in Elsa’s appearance once more. She hovered slightly with tilted brows, waiting for Maren’s response. One hand seemed to be on the floor, probably to strengthen her own balance, while the other was tucked to her chest. Elsa moved it out a bit, then pulled it back in, and finally stretched it out just enough to offer Maren her hand. Her palm wasn’t completely flat out; rather her hand was cupped slightly. There was the faintest movement in her fingers. Not quite a trembling, but certainly a reaction in anticipating the physical contact. Maren began to lift one of her hands, but showed some hesitation as well. Elsa didn’t get close to people. Not that way. She always kept some distance, some wall, some _thing_ between her and another person. She had to be comfortable enough to initiate the contact. Was it because she sensed the hesitation in Maren as well? Because, since Elsa wasn’t the one to fully reach out, she now had to wait in anticipation for the return?

But there her hand remained. She didn’t pull back. In the same way that Maren made the effort earlier, Elsa was now doing her part. She was also willing to put her comfort aside for Maren’s sake.

Finally, Maren’s hand broke the gap and placed her hand in Elsa’s. There was an obvious flinch from the blonde, and understandably so. Yet she didn’t pull back.

Maren couldn’t recall before that moment a time since meeting that she had made physical contact with Elsa. Unless the feel of her hand in hers was scrambling her mind so much that Maren couldn’t think straight.

No, that was wrong. Maren never thought straight!

Still, the closest instance Maren could think of was the one time Elsa booped Maren’s finger. It had been the briefest, lightest touch imaginable. Yet the warmth of that touch surged through her body. Maren could never completely shake that feeling.

Now? It was warmer than Maren thought possible. No, she wouldn’t go so far as to describe it as actual heat. Maybe there was, a little. But more than that, she felt…. Light. Calm. Not quite full of life but dammit if there wasn’t something mighty powerful coursing through her veins again. The thought Maren had earlier of even once having the smallest honor of touching Elsa’s lips had flown out the window. This? Their hands together? In one of the most basic forms of human contact? From Elsa?

It felt so much more intimate.

Managing to pull herself together, Maren pushed herself off the floor while Elsa tugged. Carefully the two of them rose to their feet. Once they were upright, there was another flinch before Elsa pulled her hand back. It wasn’t in haste; if Elsa really wanted to, she could have let go sooner. She could have pulled away harder. Except she didn’t. But Maren couldn’t read too much into that. She could only assume it was a simply reaction. Or realization. Elsa wasn’t used to that; of course it would take her an extra moment to remember she was holding hands with someone. Maren didn’t take it personally. It still felt like an honor to have had even that much time.

“Oh!” Elsa realized, quickly breaking the silence.

Damn that woman had so much more control than Maren did in her pinky.

“We should probably…” Elsa started.

Maren blinked. “Oh. Right. Sanitize.”

How could she forget? Though to be fair, it likely wasn’t so much as the contact between the two of them. They had just been on the floor, after all. And how often that got cleaned, Maren had no idea. Actually, Maren was unsure she wanted to know. If the table was any indication, typically at least one corner or side covered in crumbs every night from her coworkers, the answer was too putrid to think about.

Maren quickly retrieved her hand sanitizer from her back jeans pocket. She popped it open and squeezed a small amount into her free hand and then set the container down. As she rubbed her hands together, she looked at Elsa, who seemed to have less luck.

“Did you find yours?” Maren asked.

Wow, could she have asked a dumber, more painfully obvious question?

Elsa removed her hand from her vest pocket. “I think I left it at the service desk.”

Maren finished rubbing her hands before picking hers up. “Here, you can use mine.”

Elsa nodded and held her hand out, allowing Maren to squeeze a bit of the liquid onto her palm. Maren returned the container to her pocket and watched as Elsa massaged her hands. As the sanitizer began to set in, the taller woman brought her cupped hands towards her nose.

“Oh! That smells so sweet!” her eyes lit with fascination. “What scent is that?”

Maren pulled out the container once more. “Sprinkle donut,” she read. “You like?”

“I love,” Elsa nodded. “Anna never brought me that one before. She’s been holding out on me.”

“Well I won’t,” Maren decided. “You can take mine.”

Elsa’s eyes fluttered. “Wha…? Are you sure?”

“Hey, I told you how much Ryder hoards this crap. I don’t know if he has another one like this, so I’ll just have to make sure to steal a good one,” she replied.

“But if that’s your only one…” she started.

“I insist,” Maren replied placing it in Elsa’s hands. “I know it’s not chocolate…”

“It’s perfect. Thank you.” Elsa cupped it carefully in her hands. She smiled softly. “Bruni’s going to have a field day with this.”

“Bruni?” Maren blinked.

“My cat,” she answered. “He sometimes responds to the scents. I think it’s his equivalent of a sugar high.”

“What happens? He starts bouncing off the walls or something?” Maren chuckled.

“Not exactly,” she shook his head. “Bruni has this habit; he tilts and twists his head a lot. So sometimes, after I use a certain lotion or hand sanitizer, he picks up on the scent and it’s like his quirk goes into overdrive. He can’t keep his head still for more than a few seconds. It’s like he knows it’s coming from somewhere, but he just can’t pinpoint it’s from me when I’m sitting right next to him.”

“Is that normal?” she wondered.

“For Bruni it is. He…. We think he went through some things,” Elsa admitted. “Kristoff wasn’t able to pinpoint everything. But I know there’s nothing wrong with him. It’s just how Bruni is.”

“I’d love to hear more about him,” Maren offered.

Elsa blinked. “Really?”

“Well, Ryder would probably be more excited than me,” Maren confessed. “I know you only met him briefly, but if you saw the way he gets about animals…”

“If it’s anything like Kristoff, I wouldn’t be surprised,” she replied. “But…it is kind of a long story.”

Maren shrugged. “I mean…it’s not like we’re going far. We’re kind of stuck here.”

“Heh. Well you are right about that,” she admitted. “But we do have a bit to get through tonight. The throwbacks aren’t terrible but we still have to do a walk and the coolers. The registers have to get cleaned, I have a few more new signs to print and post, and Oaken did say he’d like us to check for expired candy….”

“So how about tomorrow night then?” Maren suggested. “I’ll be here. I can take my break at the end of your lunch, we can talk cats and then work on the candy.” She paused. “I mean, only if you want to.”

Elsa pulled in her lips and then tilted them toward the side. She had a thoughtful look in her eyes; one Maren could only hope was her imagining the prospect. “Well that does sound nice. And I did promise I’d find you your ice cream….”

“So it’s a….” Maren started hopefully but cut herself off. She almost said date. She wanted to say date. She hoped it was a date. Not that the two of them hanging out at work talking was much of a date. Who even went on a date in the middle of their shift? Would Elsa even want a date? How did Elsa feel about dating? What if she was about to blow it again? Think, Maren, think! “A…. Yes?”

Sure. That sounded like a good word. Simple. Obvious. Please say yes.

A small smile crossed Elsa’s lips. For once it appeared she wasn’t going to make Maren wait in angst. The answer escaped her seemingly without a second thought. “I suppose it is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> At long last the resolution to their 'argument' has come!
> 
> Rereading this chapter it was...i dunno if i'd use the word fluffier as much as swoonier to describe it...than i expected or remembered. i had a few ideas of how it would end up with the two of them having that most basic physical contact, the other main idea being they'd somehow fall on top of each other but that felt way too cliche. But there was definitely the intention of ending this chapter with Maren wanting to hear more about Bruni and, especially since there was just that tease in the last two chapters about the backstory of Elsa and Kristoff meeting courtesy of her last cat, it felt like a nice idea to follow it up and you actually get to see how Bruni came to be. So that'll definitely be a bit of a longer chapter because there is so much to cover there. 
> 
> i will also randomly point out that, yes, i actually did sniff my remaining hand sanitizers from Bath and Body Works to pick a good scent and describe it (hopefully) properly lol. Please don't ask me how i ended up with sprinkle donut, i just know it was one of my last ones and i sniffed it and i basically melted. Still waiting for a chocolate scent though for real. XD
> 
> So next week is Elsamaren Week. i don't have enough prompts for every day but i do have, i think three written?, and one more to go. So i'm not entirely sure if the next update for this story is gonna be later this week and i skip next week or if i just keep it to one update this week and then post one update next week. It's also getting dangerously close to where i'm caught up posting and writing wise and i've been trying to keep at least a few chapters ahead of the game so i have something to share with you guys and also to keep myself in the zone. But for the last couple of weeks i've been having horrible writer's block with that next chapter. And i was really hoping i'd have something written for it by now and it could get me going again, but that hasn't been the case. And i know what i want to happen in it, it's just not falling into place the way that i want it to. So i'm trying to figure out what the solution is. Is it, do i write and rewrite as much as possible to get it to that place? Do i continue writing based off the little i have, but based on that it feels like the ending is coming too soon? Is the ending supposed to be this soon despite the fact that i feel like so much is still supposed to happen? Is that really how the chapter is supposed to go but it's just too soon for it? Or is it just not right for this story like i thought it'd be? So i'm very much having Show Yourself inspired conflicts there (for anyone who has watched The Making of Frozen 2, you know exactly what i mean). It's confusing to explain without giving too much away; i'm not disappointed at the potential new direction, but it could be better. And also if that is where it's supposed to go, it definitely needs to happen later than i expected because Elsa just had these major breakthroughs with her sexuality and feelings for Maren. So it's not only that i want the content of the chapter to be right for the story, i want it to be right for the characters as well. And particularly regarding Elsa, i wanna give her the time with her revelations that she deserves and, of course, give you guys the content you deserve. So that's where i stand with writing right now. But consider that the very long-winded heads up that this week and next week may very well be one updates only.
> 
> i believe i've said this before, but i'm very much open to suggestions or ideas. There've been a few i accidentally or intentionally included already - one of them being the infamous Casanova nickname lol. So i'm not at all below (or is it above?) listening to suggestions, theories, hopes, all that chizz, and taking that into consideration or for inspiration. So, i think Maren has officially earned a break from hearing she's an idiot and i hope this chapter has been a nice breath of fresh air from the heaviness of the past few chapters and gave you guys a decent enough Elsamaren fix from me. One way or another i will definitely see you next week and i can't wait to see what everyone comes up with for the prompts! Stay safe and healthy everyone, and sending some virtual hugs from this quirky grocery store cashier! :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it has been a crazy couple of weeks. The last time i updated this i was stuck on a particular chapter that's cutting it pretty close to where i am now, and then right before Elsamaren week started i got sick with my usual sinus infection. And it's been a roller coaster with that because even though i get upper respiratory infections multiple times during the year, i know exactly what they are, how to handle them, everything that comes with it, it was still being treated like it COULD be something more. And then, of course, i was given meds that gave me every. Single. Side effect. Possible. So that made it worse than usual. So there was a lot of lost focus and anxiety for a while. Fortunately though, i had prompts all set for Elsamaren week and two days i was very fortunate to have enough focus and randomness to put a couple of extra one shots together. So those two reasons put together, there really would not have been a chance for me to update last week if i wanted to. But i'm back now, i've got more of a timeline set up here and a slightly clearer direction of where i wanna go with this. It's just a matter of putting it together and deciding if everything is going to continue on in this one story or if i dare push my luck and do a sequel of this AU that takes place outside of or post pandemic. i did start the next chapter i'm up to so progress is being made one way or another. So that's where i am with all that right now, and that's also why i was never able to respond to any comments from...i don't even know how long it's been anymore! Now i'm gonna do a quick jump to the comments from last chapter and i promise after i have this posted i will not only give those comments the full responses they deserve but also the ones from the previous chapter!  
> @Ann - Maren is definitely catching on! She's still being a useless lesbian but at least now she's a useless lesbian who's slightly less of an idiot LOL  
> @Superamy777 - LOL trust me when i say it's bad enough to fall on the floor of the break room. There isn't even a five second rule with food in there because as soon as it touches the floor it's gone forever. On the bright side, there is definitely a lot of kitty talk coming up in this chapter! :)  
> @holographicbubbles - i love those puns! My friend accidentally shared those with me and now i use them all the damn time XD Also are you trying to make me want to draw Elsa and Maren as Ariel and Eric now? Because now the idea is in my head LOL  
> @coldname - Oh it's totally a date AND NOW WE GET TO SEE IT PLAY OUT! This is definitely slowburn and it's been super slowburn so i think it's just a matter of how much more can i drag it out for...in _this_ story. But i definitely appreciate the support and i'm glad you've been enjoying the ride!  
> @RobinPercher - Thank you. i definitely think we're getting to a point where everything feels like it's at a good pace or coming together, especially now that i have a slightly clearer idea but i think that was definitely playing a part in the uncertainty of everything. So here's hoping this next chapter turns out just as well!
> 
> Ok you guys waited long enough! At long last, here is the next chapter for you!

It was so tempting for Elsa to go overboard. She wanted to have so much set up on the table. M&m’s. Sno-caps. Cocoa Puffs. Pop tarts. Reese’s.

Never mind that all of it was chocolate. What else were they supposed to eat?

It was only going to be fifteen minutes with Maren. It wouldn’t be unlike their occasional get-togethers in the break room after closing. But somehow…this time felt different. A good different. Not a good enough different for her to actually share her feelings let alone her orientation, rather good in a way that felt right.

The night before when they were in the room together…. It was admittedly awkward and nerve-wracking at first. Elsa was still coming to terms with everything. Pairing that with knowing that she upset Maren…it wasn’t a good combination. After they apologized…called each other those names… _their_ names…. She had no idea what caused Maren to suddenly find a way out. What could have caused her distress. Suddenly she fell and Elsa didn’t think, she just….

She touched Maren’s hand for the first time.

No, she didn’t just touch it.

She held it.

The last person she willingly offered any part of her to was Kristoff. And she would always, always offer herself to Anna. But with Maren…. It was different. It was nothing compared to Anna or Kristoff. Sure, they were familiar and inviting and accepting. But Maren…. The only word that could cross Elsa’s mind was safe. She had no idea how. But something about just simply holding Maren’s hand felt like second nature to her. Was it supposed to be that easy? That comfortable? That welcoming?

And heavens, how hard it was for her to take her eyes off that woman!

Their eyes had met for what felt like the first time in forever. Elsa had thought before – albeit by accident – how Maren’s eyes glistened like honey. And she had seen Maren enough in the last month to capture her features in a drawing.

Wait, it had only been a month? It felt longer. Dammit retail.

But last night had been the first time Elsa _really_ got to look at Maren. Her hair was thicker than she thought. There always seemed to be a few loose strands when her hair was tied back. Her bangs never fell far enough to cover even a portion of her eyes. How they would barely even cover her thick eyebrows. She always had a hat on; company hats were optional but never a requirement so it was entirely up to each individual coworker if they wanted one. How full and prominent her lips were; so much more so than Elsa’s. Unlike Elsa, who typically put on a little lipstick to cover her chapped lips – a bad habit she never completely shook off – Maren left hers completely natural. There were no secrets on them. They appeared dry, perhaps a bit callous; could it have been because she hadn’t kissed anyone in a while?

Oh, but that was a terrible question to ask! How could Elsa remotely begin to think that when she was still so uneasy about having the most basic physical contact with someone? She never hugged anyone, save for Anna and occasionally Kristoff. She pulled her hand back when someone tried to take it. If someone touched her arm or her shoulder, even to get her attention, Elsa would flinch. She couldn’t even let Snow show basic sisterly affection towards her. Snow of all people. If Elsa could barely stand any of that, how would she ever fare at the prospect of getting kissed?

As if anyone would even try, let alone want to.

Whatever this was with Maren, Elsa was going to make the conscious decision to enjoy it for whatever it was worth and for however long it may last.

She turned her attention to the cooler in the corner. There were two Blue Bunny Load’d Sundaes, both chocolate brownie bomb. Elsa hadn’t been able to find the ice cream flavor for Maren she promised, so she hoped the small container would be a decent enough substitute for the evening.

And that it didn’t somehow melt.

Elsa glanced down to her phone. Tapping the screen, it lit up with the lock screen that was Anna along with the current time of eight forty-two. Maren would be arriving any minute. Was Elsa supposed to feel nervous? Some form of anticipation? Afraid? Her back jerked into a straight position once she heard the door crack. Lifting her head, she saw the brunette poke her head in.

“Hey,” Maren greeted with her usual cocked smile.

That damn smile.

“Hi.”

Maren entered the room fully and lifted her hands; one held a back of m&m’s and the other a box of Reese’s Puffs. “Pick your poison. What are we having for dinner?”

Elsa blinked. “Oh…actually….” Her eyes slinked towards the cooler where the ice creams sat. As if to mimic her, Maren followed suit. Realization quickly fell on her.

“You got us ice cream?”

Elsa nodded. “I’m sorry; they didn’t have either of the flavors you were hoping for. I hope these will suffice.”

“You kidding?” Maren grinned. After setting her food on the table, she retrieved the frozen treats. “I love these things. Yelena used to only keep these in the house so we couldn’t have too much ice cream at once. And we got like, one a week, so we had to choose carefully when to eat it. I haven’t had one in a while.”

A small smile crossed Elsa’s face. There was something so joyous about the way Maren’s face lit up over the simplest thing. “I’m glad. Although…now we don’t have time for your treats…”

Maren scoffed. “We’ll save them for next time then.”

There was going to be a next time?

There was going to be a next time!

Cool it, Elsa, cool it!

Conceal; don’t feel. Don’t let her know.

The blonde sucked in her lip, as if a way to hold back her excitement. “That sounds delightful.”

“You know, you don’t have to sound so professional around me,” Maren shrugged. She sat across from Elsa and slid one of the sundaes across to her. “I mean…we are friends, right?”

That’s right. They were friends. And though the argument that, in some way, they were a family rang true, somehow the former meant more. “It’s a force of habit. I’m not exactly used to hanging out with anyone.”

“No worries.” Maren popped the cap off her cup before taking the plastic spoon Elsa offered to her from the other side of the table. “Sooooo….” A playful smirk crossed her face, “do you call all your friends Honey then?”

Elsa had just begun to remove the top from her ice cream when the question escaped Maren’s lips. The cover flipped over, rolled across the table, and ultimately fell onto the tiled floor with a clack. Elsa’s hand remained mid air where the cover was originally supposed to be, quickly feeling the heat rise to her cheeks.

Suddenly, a laugh escaped Maren. “I’m just teasing,” she promised.

Oh so it was going to be that way, was it? Very well then.

Letting out a short breath, Elsa grabbed her own spoon and used it to poke at her sundae. Pursing her lips, she narrowed her gaze between the treat and her coworker. She waited until just the right moment before she spoke again, when the ice cream just touched Maren’s tongue and her lips covered the spoon.

“I expect nothing less, _Honeymaren_.”

The brunette visibly shivered, eyes widening and her hand slipping off the spoon completely. Elsa wasn’t going to lie; watching the utensil stick out of the girl’s mouth was priceless.

It took Maren a moment before she managed to remove it. “Ok…I deserved that.”

Elsa couldn’t help but smirk. As off guard as she had been by the original tease, the comeback had certainly been satisfying. Closing her eyes, she focused on her own food. She delicately scooped a little bit of the ice cream onto the spoon before guiding it to her mouth, taking a few seconds to allow the sweetness to dance on her tongue before she swallowed. The syrup mixed within the sundae had a bit more stretchy quality to it, allowing the taste to drag out in between bites. The chocolate pieces inside were surprisingly few and far in between, but it didn’t faze Elsa. She just naturally enjoyed chocolate in all dosages.

Also it was much easier to focus on her food than on Maren. Was she supposed to say something now? Were they supposed to do something? But it wasn’t like they could do much while they ate. Sitting in a comfortable silence was nice enough. For once there was no tension, no awkwardness, she didn’t inherently feel like she was screwing up….

“So.” Maren’s sudden voice post-swallow disturbed Elsa’s train of thought. “Do you have pics?”

Elsa blinked. She gulped despite the fact that in that particular moment she had nothing in her mouth. “I’m sorry?”

“Of your cat,” the shorter clarified. “You can talk about it, you know.”

“Oh….” Elsa realized. “Um…the thing is….” Her voice trailed off.

How could she go about explaining it? Never mind she didn’t expect Maren to actually be interested in her discussing Bruni. But voluntarily putting him on display….

She should have loved to show him off. What pet owner didn’t? Kristoff did all the time. Ella did, though not without permission first. But Sven and the mice…they were…. Normal. Bruni was not. At least, not by typical standards. Suddenly Elsa recalled all the times someone questioned what was wrong with Bruni. When they looked at his pictures and saw the blank stare. When Elsa played a video and they’d question what kind of brain damage he had. When someone asked what brand of cat food Bruni ate and Elsa automatically went into a detailed description of how she set it up for him every night….

She loved her cat. He was one of the best things to come into her life. Elsa would never deny that. But how could she willingly do that to him? Just…open up the floor to critiques about him? Question what was wrong with him? Have people assume she was a terrible pet owner for not being informed? Wonder if he made enough trips to the vet or if he was a part of any special studies. How could she subject him to that? Even if Bruni never understood…. Elsa did. He may not have cared, but she did. And she hurt for him.

“Hey.” Maren broke her out of her trance again. “If it’s like Nani refusing to show pics of Stitch cause he’s the so-called creepiest dog in the world, I don’t buy that. I mean I haven’t seen any pics yet. But that still doesn’t mean you can’t show him off, right? A pet is a pet. Or…what’s the term Ella uses…?”

“Heh…. Fur baby?” Elsa recalled.

“Exactly,” Maren nodded. “No judgments here. Promise.”

“It’s not that,” she shook her head. “It’s…” She lowered her gaze. “People sing a much different tune when they see Bruni for themselves.”

Maren blinked. “Bruni….” She repeated thoughtfully. “But wait…that’s not the same name Kristoff used. He said when he met you, he mentioned some other name…what was it…?” She snapped her fingers in an attempt to regain her train of thought. “Gage? Glade?”

“Gale?” Elsa blinked.

“That’s it!” Maren realized. “Was that Bruni’s…?” Her voice faded, unsure of exactly how to finish the question.

To that, Elsa shook her head. “That was a bit before Bruni.”

“So if you’re uncomfortable talking about Bruni, would you maybe wanna talk about Gale instead?” Maren offered.

“It’s not that I’m uncomfortable. It’s….” The blonde paused to search for the right words. “Actually, I wouldn’t even have Bruni if it weren’t for Gale. If she didn’t get sick when she did, someone else might have examined her. I never would have met Kristoff. He never would have met Anna. I would have never met Bruni. Maybe I wouldn’t even have a cat right now,” she admitted.

“How long did you have Gale for?” Maren wondered.

Elsa shook her head. “Not long enough. I got her when I was seventeen. It was the last holiday my family and I all spent together before my parents passed. My mother told me that if I didn’t feel comfortable talking to anyone, that if I ever felt confused or worried about something, I should talk to Gale.”

Maren raised an eyebrow. She must have picked up a slight difference in Elsa’s tone. Elsa didn’t even realize it at first; she was happy recalling the last Christmas she spent together with her parents. The year after that they had a business trip so it had just been her and Anna. If only she could have known back then it would be the last, or that the year after would be the last time she’d hear her parents say Merry Christmas or Happy Birthday. But that wasn’t specifically what disheartened Elsa. Rather, it was recalling what her mother said to her. That she should talk to Gale.

“Why do you say it like that?”

How could Elsa explain it? ‘I told my mother I wasn’t straight so she used Gale to keep me in the closet’? No, that sounded terrible. Even if it wasn’t too far from the truth. To Elsa’s recollection, Iduna hadn’t outright acted negatively. Her initial response had been identical to Anna’s. She kept quiet and stared at Elsa blankly. The only difference was that back then Elsa didn’t have the word ‘asexual’ to attach to herself. She could only explain it in the way that she knew she liked girls, but didn’t exactly want to do everything with them. She didn’t know then that there was an actual word for it. But unlike with Anna, who responded with open arms and nothing short of the utmost support, Iduna told Elsa that it was best to keep it to herself while she figured things out. That she shouldn’t give her father a reason to worry.

But if she told Maren that, she’d have to come out. She’d have to explain herself, explain her label, deal with the anxiety as she waited for Maren’s reaction, prepare herself for the worst-case scenario…. She wasn’t ready for that. It was too soon.

So she did exactly what she had done with Anna the first time – simplified the story without discrediting either of her parents. She didn’t have to, not this time; back then she did it for Anna. She gladly did it for Anna. Just because Elsa had a complicated relationship with their parents didn’t mean Anna should be forced to look at them differently. Anna loved Iduna and Agnarr dearly and the last thing Elsa wanted was to strain their relationship especially when neither was no longer around to explain themselves. That wasn’t fair to them, and certainly not to Anna. Perhaps treating this in the same way to Maren was simply a force of habit, because Elsa did it once already. Or, maybe it was to save face. There was no need for Maren to know how messed up Elsa’s family actually was.

“I think it’s because I was a teenager. I didn’t feel comfortable talking to my parents about everything. My mother realized that and probably felt it best that if I had any secrets or was scared or confused about something, I be able to tell someone. Even if that someone wasn’t human. And it did hurt because I furthered my belief that I really couldn’t tell her anything. That I couldn’t trust her. So when all else failed, I’d always have Gale.”

Of course Elsa would admit it wasn’t all bad. Elsa loved having a constant companion. She felt relieved knowing that there was someone she could open up to. Someone who couldn’t talk back to her, invalidate her, judge her, or demean her. When she was with Gale, Elsa felt accepted. As much as Gale relied on Elsa for everything, Elsa relied on Gale emotionally. She had no idea how she would have gotten through everything without that cat. She thanked her mother silently. As twisted as it may have felt to Elsa, it was still something Elsa needed. Gale, so much like Kristoff and Bruni, was one of the best things to come into her life.

She only wished it could change how she looked at her mother fully. No, it was wrong to fully blame Iduna. She wasn’t the one who was completely against Elsa’s sexuality. But there was still a lie there. The first time Elsa told her, she thought there had been some level of acceptance. She hadn’t felt completely rejected. But if Iduna really had accepted Elsa, she wouldn’t have gone behind her back and gotten Gale. She wouldn’t have told Elsa not to tell anyone. She would have let her explore. She would have let her be more open. She would have promised to be there for Elsa no matter what. But that never happened.

“What was Gale like?” Maren asked, breaking Elsa out of her trance.

The thought brought the smallest smile to Elsa’s face. She could almost feel herself going back in time to the house she grew up in. Watching Gale walk to the side, her fur almost completely pressed against the walls as she strutted. Greeting Gale on her bed after a day of classes. That damn pissed-off face the cat always seemed to hold no matter what.

“She was probably the most bipolar cat I ever met,” Elsa confessed with a faint giggle. “You know how it’s stereotypical to assume that cats are antisocial?”

“Yeah….” Maren nodded.

“Gale could very much be that. When she wanted to be alone, she let you know it. She’d bare her teeth or hiss or crawl into a small space,” Elsa explained. “But when she wanted attention, she would do anything to get it. And Gale’s idea always seemed to involve breaking something. I lost count of how many vases Gale much have broken in that house. It was either Gale’s way or no way. But every time I would go over to her, all I needed to do was sit in front of her, keep a little bit of space, and say ‘Gale Time’. That’s when she knew. She didn’t run off, she didn’t make any sudden movements. Sometimes she’d do typical cat things. Clean herself, tilt her head, or yawn…. I always imagined that when she did that, it was her way of responding to me. Like she was trying to talk back to me. But most of the time, she’d just sit there. Perfectly still. Hardly blinking. And I’d just feel it. She heard me. Maybe she didn’t fully understand. Maybe I was speaking a foreign language to her. But all she needed to know was that Gale Time was our time. Any time I needed it, she was there. Not even just finishing high school. When my parents passed. When I had issues with the company. When we moved. When I was working. Gale was with me through it all.”

Her face fell as she recalled what happened next. Even if things had been difficult, even if Elsa’s entry into adulthood wasn’t perfect, even if she had trials and tribulations that so many others didn’t have to deal with…. Gale was always there. She had Gale and she had Anna. That was all Elsa ever needed to survive. Realizing what came next, remembering how difficult it had been…. Elsa had almost forgotten that losing Gale originally hit harder than her parents.

“Hey.” Maren’s voice was soft. In most cases it wouldn’t have been loud enough to overpower Elsa’s inner thoughts. But somehow, this time, it was. Maybe it was the closeness they had. Maybe it was how Maren reach across the table to her. Or maybe it was just Maren being Maren. But Elsa heard her. She didn’t look at the woman directly, but she heard her. She felt her. “You don’t have to keep going if you don’t want to.”

Elsa’s gaze lowered. “But I should, shouldn’t I? And instead of facing anything head on…. I try to block out it. As if running away or pretending it didn’t happen is going to change things.”

She didn’t know how else to explain it. Maybe it wasn’t always Elsa’s reaction to run. She couldn’t run away at work. Hell, Elsa could probably count the times on one hand where she was able to leave a situation. But outside the walls of Oaken’s? Elsa could run. She could hide. She could bury herself under her blankets or throw herself into her art or even lock herself in the closet. She could pretend certain things weren’t happening. Or didn’t happen. She just…. She knew that when things became difficult or overwhelming there was little she could do to keep it together. To keep herself together. And in those moments, complete avoidance seemed so much better than facing the problem or emotions head on.

Maren wasn’t like that. She faced her problems from the start. She did it with annoying customers all the time. Sure, there were a few instances where it was perhaps not the smartest move. There were likely times in general when Maren needed to learn to hold back. Everyone needed to find that balance at some point. Maren and Elsa just happened to be at the opposite ends of it. But Maren? God, that woman was strong. She was strong physically. She had a strong work ethic. She was strong emotionally. She had a strong personality. She was just…. Strong.

So Elsa should not have been surprised by Maren’s suggestion.

“Well then…if you ever feel like that again…. You could always run to me.”

Why did that feel so…? Inviting? So tempting? So encouraging? Did Maren even realize what she just said? Was she trying to make Elsa nervous again? Was it even intentional?

Elsa would love to do that. Run right into Maren’s arms. Lean on her. Lean against her. Melt into her touch. Fall into her embrace like a puzzle piece. Kiss her.

But that wasn’t Elsa. To actually act on those feelings let alone think any of them.

So what she did instead was let one of her hands fall flat on the table. Her fingertips brushed up against Maren’s hand. Her first reaction was still to flinch at the contact, though not entirely for that reason. She didn’t realize Maren’s hand had been face down. She didn’t leave it open to take like Elsa assumed. Instead it had been akin to the first time she reached across to her. To simply imply she was holding Elsa’s hand and offering support. To not make any sudden movements as to deter Elsa. To just show that in some way, she was there. Elsa thought Maren’s hand was going to be palm up, like when Elsa offered her hand to Maren the day before. There was no assumption that Elsa was going to take it. There was no pressure for her to take it. It was just there. And then, before Elsa knew it she slipped her fingers in between Maren’s thumb and pointer. Her hand didn’t fall into Maren’s all the way, just enough to give the woman the simplest grasp. And Maren didn’t seem to take it for granted. She kept her hold light, allowing Elsa to wiggle out if she so desired. The only movements that came from Maren’s hand were tilting it slightly, as if to allow more access if needed, and faintly caressing one of Elsa’s fingers with her thumb.

Elsa exhaled. She closed her eyes and relaxed into the gentle embrace. As she opened her mouth to speak again, her voice was quiet. “The short version is organ failure. It was in the beginning stages when I took her, but sometimes I think I should have reacted sooner. Maybe if I didn’t simply equate her reactions to stress or nerves…. I tried to make up for it by asking everything. I wanted to do anything to make Gale as comfortable as I could. I took her as much as possible, tried to be as informed as I could…. There was never any questions or judgment from Kristoff. He was in his first year of residency then, I think. So any time he had to consult with someone more experienced…. They were surprised when, between the two of us, we had everything covered. Kristoff even said that he hoped every patient he took in had an owner like me. I wish I could have believed him.”

“You really are an angel,” Maren breathed. “I can tell how much you loved that cat.”

“I did,” Elsa nodded softly. “But sometimes I think I could have done more.”

“It sounds like you did everything and more,” she commented. “And no one knows animals better than Kristoff. He knows how they’re feeling. When they’re being treated right. If something’s not enough. He knows. He would’ve never kept you around, let alone talk about you the way he does, if he thought otherwise.”

“He never once implied I was wrong or could have done something different. He always assured me that sometimes things just can’t be controlled. This happened to be one of those things,” she admitted. Elsa paused, letting out a sigh. “I owe him so much.”

“You really don’t give yourself enough credit, Elsa. Every time someone says one nice thing about you, you turn it around and just keep building that person up instead. You really gotta stop doing that,” Maren commented.

“Force of habit, I suppose,” she shrugged. “But it is accurate in this case. I do owe Kristoff a lot. When the time came to put Gale down, and it was supposed to be just the tech and myself, he let me bring Anna in. Afterwards, instead of sending us home, he let us stay as long as I needed. I think it’s still there…? There used to be this bench on the side of the clinic. Facing away from the pet cemetery and looking over part of the town.”

“The one that’s supposed to be reserved for employees and their pets or clients only?” Maren smirked. “Yeah, Ryder got a lot of flack for letting me sit there before.”

Why did that not surprise her? Elsa bit her lip, forcing back the faintest smile. “He let me and Anna sit there. We must have been there the whole afternoon. I went in before they closed to thank him for everything. And he said whenever I was ready, if I wanted to come back and talk to any of the rescues I was more than welcome. He knew none of them could ever replace Gale, but it helped that he understood. I didn’t go for a while though…. Not without feeling like I was being disloyal to Gale. But when I finally did…. There was Bruni.”

“And the rest is history?” Maren assumed.

“Not exactly,” Elsa admitted. She opened her eyes when she heard a faint dinging. She used her free hand to unlock her phone and took note of the time. One minute left before clocking back in. “We should head back. I’ll clean up here; you go and get started on sorting through the candy.”

Maren smirked. “Nice try, Angel, but you’re not getting off the hook that easily. I’m invested now. You can’t just cut the story off there.”

Elsa shook her head. “Maren.”

Maren stood up from her chair and then walked to the side of the table to better pull Elsa up. “C’mon, entertain me? I never had any pets and as long as I’ve got Ryder as a roommate I can’t afford a pet. Let this poor unfortunate soul live vicariously through another fur mama?” She even batted her eyes and pouted her lips for emphasis.

Elsa let out a laugh, quickly covering her mouth with her free hand. “You did not!”

“Yes I did.”

“Maren.”

“Angel.”

At first Elsa didn’t realize how close they were. Almost close enough to make a sudden movement. Almost close enough to react. Almost close enough to….

Wait, why did she feel so hot?

Elsa’s eyes darted down.

Their hands!

Letting out an inaudible gasp, Elsa quickly pulled her hand away. It all but jumped out of Maren’s grasp before it retreated to its usual position in front of Elsa’s chest. Elsa forced her gaze away from Maren. Oh god that was so sudden wasn’t it? Elsa shouldn’t have done that, right? She should have said something instead. She had to divert their attention to something else. Anything else. Think, Elsa, think!

“Oh!” The blonde blinked, realizing their sundaes had all but turned into soup. She picked up the liquid chocolate and frowned. “The ice cream….”

Maren sighed, hitting her forehead. “Oh man, I didn’t even notice!”

“No, I didn’t either,” Elsa shook her head. “That was probably not the smartest idea. I’m sorry, Maren, I really did want you to have your ice cream tonight.”

“It happens,” she shrugged. “I’m just sorry I barely touched mine. I guess I got so lost in the story….”

“Me, too,” Elsa agreed.

“Sooooo since the next time is reserved for m&m’s and cereal…. Maybe the time after that, then?” she asked hopefully.

The time after that?

That’s right.

There was going to be a next time.

For the treats that Maren brought in.

Which meant there could be another time.

Maren really did want to do this again.

“I’d like that,” Elsa smiled. As she threw out the melted ice cream containers, Maren gathered the rest of their items.

“So walk me through it, exactly. Why’s everyone bummed about candy duty?” the brunette asked.

“It can be a bit of an excruciating process,” Elsa admitted. The two of them began their walk back to the front of the store. “It’s not that it’s difficult. It’s just time consuming. A lot of time what happens is, we add so much candy to the lanes that the ones closer to expiration are pushed further back. So they got lost in the shuffle. All we have to do is go through each pack, separate the expired ones, and sort the rest by freshness date.”

Maren groaned. “I hate it already.”

“That’s why I’m doing it with you,” Elsa replied. “What time do you go home tonight?”

“Nine forty-five. Unless you need me later…?”

“Do you have anything going on tonight?”

“Uh, we’re kind of in the middle of a pandemic. No one’s got anything going on tonight.”

“I meant homework. Classes are still going, aren’t they?”

“Oh, right. Yeah…those.”

“Sorry.”

“I was trying to procrastinate.”

“Well we can’t have you failing just because of some bad chocolate.”

“I’m prepared to take that risk.”

“No, you get your assignment done. I’ve got everything here. Just grab a wagon that we can throw the bad candy into?”

Maren nodded. While she did that, Elsa grabbed a couple of fresh pairs of gloves from customer service. She then used a small piece of receipt paper to write ‘expired’ on so the workers in Receiving would know to either mark down the candy or dispose of it entirely. Once Maren returned with an empty wagon from the Crap Corner, Elsa set her phone on the top. The two of them started at register one, Maren on the gum and Elsa on the candy. While Maren was able to remove each pack or container of gum one by one and read the date on the back or bottom, Elsa had to place the box of candies on the belt and remove each bag individually. She started with the plain m&m’s – not at all because she actually wanted to eat them.

“So….” Maren dragged out her comment.

“So,” Elsa responded though in a shorter manner.

“You gonna finish telling me the story any time soon?” Maren inquired.

“We can talk about something else if you prefer,” Elsa offered. “All I’ve gone tonight is go on about Gale.”

“I wasn’t complaining. I wanted to hear about Gale.”

“You haven’t even gotten to tell me anything yet.”

“I’ve got nothing to share. Tonight is about the cats.”

“But don’t you want to talk about your classes? Or your brother? Or anything in your life?”

“Pft hell no. Besides I like how excited you get when you talk about them.”

“I wouldn’t go so far as to say excited…”

“They’re your fur babies. You’re allowed to be passionate about them, you know.”

That was true. Elsa had probably gone into more detail discussing Gale in fifteen minutes than she did about herself the entire time she knew Maren. And if she loved her cats why shouldn’t she want to talk about them? It wasn’t like Maren had judged anything about Elsa before. And…who knew? Maybe it could make for good practice. If Maren responded well to Bruni being so ‘different’, could that mean there was hope of her accepting Elsa as well?

“It was just after I started going back to the clinic,” Elsa began. “I think I was there maybe for a few days that week? I went to the back where Kristoff normally took me and there was this dog and cat huddled in the corner. A German Shepherd puppy; I think Kristoff said he was estimated to be no more than a year old but was rather large for his size. He was hovering over this silver cat. Not protective, just…. Curious, I suppose. They were mimicking each other’s reactions, constantly tilting their heads back and forth. You could tell that they had come in together. I didn’t really think anything of it at first. I just sat where I normally did…and I watched them. Some people joke that it’s likely just a staring contest. But a lot of times, if you meet an animal’s eyes and just hold it, you’re really just connecting with them.”

“Like looking into their soul?” Maren asked.

“Maybe,” Elsa shrugged. “Animals don’t communicate the same way we do. And the way that they show affection or fear varies between species. Like when a dog shows you its belly, it wants a belly rub. But when a cat shows you its belly, it’s showing that it trusts you and feels safe. It doesn’t expect you to rub its belly the same way with a dog. So you have to pick up on their mannerisms. But I believe that with every living creature, the eyes are the windows to the soul.”

“What’d you see in theirs?” she wondered.

Elsa paused. She thought back to that day. Admittedly, she hadn’t held their gazes for long before Kristoff reappeared. Fear wasn’t necessarily the right word…nervous, perhaps. Curious, to an extent. But instead she summarized it in a way all too familiar to her. A little signature she picked up courtesy of Anna.

“‘Wait, what?’”

Maren paused. She stopped what she was doing and stared at Elsa. She blinked a couple of times and then let out a laugh. “Really? That’s what they were saying?”

“I think so. I’m not sure either of them fully grasped what was happening. The dog seemed to warm up a bit when Kristoff came back, though. He still wouldn’t leave the cat’s side, but you could tell that Kristoff’s presence just put him at ease.” She paused to reorganize the m&m’s, set the box back on the shelf, and then moved to the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. “They had come in the day before, Kristoff said. Off the streets. They were found together. The vets were trying to examine both animals; no fleas or rabies, that much they were able to determine. But when it came to a more in depth examination, one that required looking at them both individually, Sven – that’s what Kristoff named him – wouldn’t budge. Kristoff wasn’t worried about that; he was more concerned with the cat. He wasn’t eating anything. He wasn’t reacting the way most cats do. And from what he told me, once his colleagues looked at Bruni, they seemed to decide he wasn’t worth it. That whatever damage had been done, there was no reversing. He was…” she paused to sigh with disappointment, “not good enough.”

Elsa took another pause. She set down the peanut butter cups and turned around, her lower back leaning against the register. She folded her arms and her eyes couldn’t have been more distant. She could feel her expression change. It had gone from curious to saddened to empty. “It didn’t matter what he could have possibly been through. How he ended up on the streets. The things he saw or had to do. It didn’t matter that he just needed someone to accept how he was and work with him. He was like…a lost cause.”

She exhaled again. How close to home that felt for her. The way Bruni had been treated then; it was no different from how Elsa felt. The way her parents reacted to her not being straight. It caused problems. There was something wrong with her. And even saying she was gay wasn’t enough; saying she wanted women and didn’t at the same time complicated things. Why couldn’t she make herself want a man then? But it didn’t work that way. For whatever reason, that was how she was. And despite whatever happened to Bruni, he was who he was. The way that Anna was the first person to accept her, Kristoff was the first person to accept Bruni. Neither of them gave up. They didn’t think to change anything. That was why Elsa was so happy Kristoff and Anna ended up together. She remembered how Kristoff was with Bruni in the beginning.

“Kristoff was the only one willing to try. And not once did he ever refer to Bruni as wrong, or outright say something was wrong with him. He just said things like, ‘let me see what’s going on’. Or he’d ask him how he was feeling. The only thing that turned out to be ‘wrong’, if only from a medical standpoint, was that a few of Bruni’s teeth were infected and had to be removed. So that was why he wasn’t eating. Everything else was merely theoretical. Nothing Kristoff was able to prove or disprove. The ways that Bruni contorts his body seemingly to his every whim? Kristoff’s assertion is that it was something picked up from living on the streets. A survival technique, I believe. So he could try to fit into any space. But his head? Or his mind?”

She paused. What was a good way to explain it? How could she capture Bruni’s uniqueness in a way that did him justice? The truth was, Elsa possibly couldn’t. The only thing she could possibly think of was to show Maren for herself. She turned her head, watching the woman beside her cautiously. Her eyes were widened. Her focus solely on Elsa. Her task for the night all but forgotten. She was completely lost in the story.

If she saw for herself…would she recoil? If she saw would she think it was wrong? If she saw and didn’t accept Bruni…how could she ever accept Elsa?

There was only one way to find out.

Cautiously, Elsa picked up her phone from the wagon. She scrolled through her images until she found a recent video. It was one that she had sent to Anna, a ‘conversation’ between Elsa and the creature about her workday. The blonde hit play and held up her phone to show Maren. The video was primarily focused on Bruni lying on Elsa’s bed. Elsa’s voice could be heard in the background.

_“Hey Bruni what do you think about coming to work with me one day?”_

_He tilted his head._

_“No? You don’t want to help me answer the phone? What if someone was asking for toilet paper?”_

_He blinked his left eye twice._

_“I know; I twitch every time they ask, too. What do you think I should tell them?”_

_He stuck his tongue out in an attempt to reach his eye._

_Elsa giggled. “You’re right, we do only sell food. They don’t seem to believe it, though.”_

_Bruni tilted his head. He stood up and then circled the bed, tilting his head in every possible direction._

_“That’s exactly how they look in the store!”_

_Bruni sat back down, his back facing the camera. He tilted his head back and forth a few more times, tail swiping up and down. Elsa zoomed in onto the creature._

_“Bruni?”_

_Suddenly his head jerked around. He stared blankly into the screen._

_“Ok, I need something new to tell the customers. What should it be?”_

_He blinked one eye._

_“Got anything?”_

_Another blink._

_“Nothing?”_

_Pause._

_Suddenly, Bruni’s head jolted back and he seemed to scream into the phone, “MROOOOOOW!”_

_He then returned to his normal position and covered his nose with his tongue._

The video ended there. Elsa pulled the phone back to her and focused on the screen. She pulled in her lips, unable to look Maren in the face. She couldn’t bear to see what kind of look she had after witnessing that. As much as Elsa wanted to laugh at the antics of her furry companion, she understood him. Not everyone would.

There was a moment of silence.

Finally, Maren spoke. “Wow. He said exactly what I’m thinking all the time.”

Elsa held in a deep sigh of relief. That was a good start. “I think so, too.”

Another pause.

“He kind of has your eyes,” Maren observed.

Elsa blinked.

That was a new one.

Of all the other things Maren could have said, that was one of the last things Elsa expected.

He had her eyes.

“I…I’m sorry…?” she nearly stammered.

Maren shrugged. “Just that, you can kinda tell he’s yours by the eyes. They’re almost the same shade. I know people can make jokes about it all the time but…. I just think it’s kind of cute you two share the same feature.”

She thought it was cute.

She thought it was cute.

Wait….

She thought it was cute.

Did that mean she thought Bruni was cute?

Did that mean she thought _Elsa_ was cute?

What a poor moment this would have been for Elsa to say fuck.

Instead she tried her best to hold back. She swallowed and gently placed her phone back down. She lifted her now free hand up, pushing an invisible loose strand of hair behind her ear. A blush was fighting to cross her cheeks and thank god Elsa didn’t turn back to face Maren completely or else then she never really would have heard the end of it!

“Thank you…”

Ok. Now for the hard part.

“So….” She willed herself to face her coworker. “You don’t think…there’s anything…wrong…with him?”

“I mean I think I do wanna know how any animal can go so long without blinking,” Maren admitted. Her brows furrowed. “But…was there anything…medically wise…wrong? Beside the tooth thing?”

Elsa shook her head. “Kristoff was never to pinpoint anything specific. His best guess is that there was possibly abuse involved. It’s a horrible reason but Kristoff believed Bruni was likely not born that way; or else he might have been put down a long time ago. And that could also explain why he ended up on the streets, as a means of escaping. He probably met Sven that way and they just always stayed together. Kristoff adopted Sven, naturally, especially after he saw the attention and care Kristoff gave to Bruni.”

“So how long before you took him home?” Maren wondered.

Elsa returned to the Reese’s. She studied each date and then set it to the side as she spoke. “A week or two, at most. I think my fate was sealed with one visit. I arrived after lunchtime, so there were still some pieces of cat food on the floor. Bruni had apparently not eaten anything, no matter what or how Kristoff tried to feed him. I ended up sitting on some of the cat food. Bruni slinked over, and he did that head tilt of his…. Then he stuck his tongue out. It took a few minutes before we realized he was kind of pecking at the crumbs. So, for whatever reason, I picked up a few more pieces, and crushed it in my hands. I sprinkled the pieces over his head and…. The rest is history. We don’t understand how or why…. But every time after that I came over, it was like Bruni was waiting for me. He didn’t do that for anyone else.”

“It’s kinda like he chose you,” Maren summarized.

That made a smile cross Elsa’s face. He chose her. Not knowing anything about her. Not caring who she was, what she did, who she liked or didn’t like, how she showed affection…. He just knew that Elsa was the one who fed him. He knew that Elsa was the one that figured it out. He knew that Elsa always came to visit. He knew he was safe with Elsa. Nothing else mattered.

If Bruni, despite whatever trauma he may have gone through, saw something good and worthwhile in Elsa…. Did that mean someone else could as well?

“I suppose he did.”

She set the candy down once again.

They weren’t getting through their job tonight were they?

“By the way….” She faced Maren once more. “Thank you.”

Maren blinked. “For what?”

Elsa shook her head. “For listening. For not judging. For talking about Bruni and treating him like any other cat. For letting me go on and on about him. Just…. Thank you. Honey.”

“Heh….” Maren’s gaze averted briefly. Was she blushing a little? No! “No thanks necessary…. I should actually be the one thanking you. I know you were a little wary of talking about it, but I’m glad you did. I liked hearing about your cats. And if you ever did wanna show Bruni off…. I kinda wanna see what else he has to say about this dump.”

“I’d really like that,” Elsa confessed.

She allowed herself to meet Maren’s eyes once more. She could never seem to get enough of them. And the more times she stared at them, the more comfortable she felt. It was almost becoming like second nature. Getting lost in them. Feeling a familiarity in them. Wanting to get closer to them. Wanting to….

Elsa’s phone went off. Who was texting her now, at work?

Oh, obviously Anna.

But the better question was, why?

Unable to shake the question, Elsa lifted her phone. She unlocked it and went to her messages.

_Are you gonna be ok for tomorrow?_

Tomorrow?

Elsa’s brows furrowed.

Tomorrow….

Tomorrow…?

Oh.

Tomorrow.

Oh.

Oh shit.

“Elsa?”

Logically Elsa knew that had to have been Maren. She heard her name. She knew some one close by was asking. She knew she should respond.

But the realization was too much for her. She had almost forgotten. Hell, she _had_ forgotten. How much easier life would be if it stayed that way.

But it couldn’t.

“Elsa…?”

“I have to go.”

And without so much as a second thought, she ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so that was a lot. Let's get the annoying retail part outta the way first. Yes, candy duty is a thing. Yes we all hate it. Moving on!
> 
> There is a LOT about Elsa's cats in here. And for a while i was debating about how much to share. There was no way in hell Elsa could've gotten through all those stories in fifteen minutes. And, at least in my store, it doesn't matter what my coworkers and i are talking about when it's slow or when we're doing throwbacks. When we separate or one of us is given another job to do, whatever conversation we were having ends. Never get back to it. So i definitely wanted to keep this chapter all about Elsa's cats and we learn more about them and get just a little bit more of a glimpse into her past. The ties that she has to both Gale and Bruni and the ways that she came into contact with both of them were very much in my head from early on. That being said, i'm no medical expert by any means and i know that with Bruni here i very much wrote him to be more of a cartoon cat than anything. So i hope that the explanation - or, i guess more of a theory - that Kristoff and Elsa have about Bruni being the way he is may make sense. And with Gale and the story that comes with her...i very much intended to write both of Elsa's parents at fault on some level for her struggling with her identity. As much as Elsa doesn't say, even with her in the narrative, i wanted to show that as much as she loved Gale there was still very much an internal conflict there. And that conflict comes with the implication which, i'm not sure how fully that comes across, or maybe if someone who is aspec like me would pick up on it, that it's a phase. And i tried to do that with the statements, "Iduna told Elsa that it was best to keep it to herself while she figured things out. That she shouldn’t give her father a reason to worry." Maybe it could also be read to imply that Elsa's identity as a whole is a phase, or maybe it was something i was looking too much into when writing it. That being said, especially when it comes to being aspec, being told it's not real or it's "just a phase" is hugely invalidating and dismissive. And it's one of many things that can make a person uncomfortable not just with coming out to begin with, but their identity as a whole. But, that's my thought process behind it and i think you guys know by now that i have a horrible habit of over-explaining everything i say or do in this story lol.
> 
> But for as much information dump and, to an extent, negativity, that came with this chapter i tried to balance it out with some feel good moments. It was Elsamaren's first "date" after all so of course it wouldn't be complete with a little hand-holding, some complimenting, and of course, their names. And since it was all about the cats, Cat Bruni had to make a guest appearance in video form which naturally was one of my favorites to write and came with Maren complimenting their eyes. Because YES ELSA, MAREN LIKES YOU DAMMIT!
> 
> i hope that you guys enjoyed this chapter and it was a nice return to the story. If i can get the in-progress chapter on track and hopefully at least start the one after this week, then with any luck i should have chapter 25 posted sometime between Thursday and Saturday this week, as usual again. Fair warning - it will be a much heavier chapter and it will be personal. But i want to thank you guys, as usual, so much for keeping up with this story and for being patient and understanding when it comes to the updates. And of course, thank you as always for everything that you say about this. This has been my saving grace and sanity and soapbox during this pandemic so to know that it actually turned into so much more than that, despite what i think of the story and myself and my writing, i appreciate so much everything you guys say about it and the support you continue to give it. And thank you for turning this story into so much more. i'll see you all later this week! :)


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long author note ahead!
> 
> So i'm a smidge late updating. i was not as successful with writing as i wanted to be last week and yesterday i had plans so that threw me off a little. My schedule has also been wonky...ok honestly everyone's hours at work has been wonky. The schedule is so messed up right now i can't even. So i'm not counting on there being a second update this week between work and writer's block.
> 
> Anyway this is gonna be an intense chapter. It's another chapter inspired by an actual retail story and, unfortunately, not a happy one at all so anyone who actually wants to sit through reading the story behind the story at the end, feel free. Fair warning, it is long and personal. But there's also gonna be a lot covered in this chapter including, yes, why Elsa ran away so quickly at the end of last chapter. i doubt there's gonna be enough room to cover everything in the end note so i apologize in advance for that. i will say two things here, though. This chapter i wrote originally about a week after the incident at work happened so it did go through some rewrites including the end which basically went from the extreme of yelling to the opposite extreme of, at least what i feel like, is super soft. So there was a lot of exposition cut from here that i'm not sure if it will be included later on at any point or scrapped entirely. The other thing is that i did expand a bit more on Maren's orientation here, which i really hope i did ok with. My goal with that was, kind of the same when it came to Elsa's orientation, that the way these characters identify is not a one size fits all for everyone. Primarily with Maren i wanted to kind of highlight her open-mindedness in some manner (BECAUSE DAMMIT ELSA WE ALL KNOW MAREN'S GONNA ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT), so i hope that comes across in some way. And as someone who believes, as an asexual person knowing that there are so many terms within that umbrella and therefore no 'wrong' way to be ace, i believe the same thing holds true for other labels. And it's tricky territory for me because anything outside of my ace-ness is like this huge question mark especially when, in the grand scheme of things, i have not been out or open for that long compared to a lot of others. So i don't necessarily feel like i have the right to explain, let alone write, anything about this. Hell, sometimes i don't even feel like i have the right to anything in the LGBTQ+ community because i feel so outside of it even though i know as a queer person i have a place there. So it's tricky territory for me actually diving into that compared to the small mentions i've included thus far. So i just hope that it's something i handled alright, that comes out as believable, and ultimately feels like this version of Maren. Even if it's not touched on for long, it's still important to me that it's a part i get right. As always, i hope to tackle everything with justice and respect not just to the characters, but to you guys, the readers as well.
> 
> On a lighter note, as far as adding MAREN YOU IDIOT to the tags goes, i'll give it a couple more chapters and then see if you guys still think i should add it lol  
> @Ann - i melt every time i wrote Elsa calling Maren 'Honey' lol. But Elsa's definitely making progress and i think 'Honey' is finally starting to get through to her!  
> @T2Boy2 - LOL a twist! There's a new idiot in the story! XD It was definitely a lot and i wish i could say it stops or slow down buuuuuuuut.... o.0  
> @holographicbubbles - You described that basically how i would have HOW ARE YOU DOING THAT LOL. i know exactly what you're trying to say and i'm so glad you could tell what i was trying to pick up on with the implied identity erasure! Thank you for that!  
> @fanficfruitts - Ok now i wanna start figuring out how to include King Bruni as a nickname here lol. Don't worry, you're about to find out why she had to run! Or why she wanted to run. It's in this chapter, ok? XD  
> @WintermoonQueen - You have absolutely no reason to apologize for not commenting! i never expected anything to begin with! xD Thank you for summing up Elsa perfectly! The Bruni video was my favorite part to write and also HOW DID YOU PREDICT THE POV? lol  
> @RobinPercher - Thank you. At this point i honestly can't remember how much of anything was actually intentional or not lol. There's definitely a lot more ideas i do wanna play with here so we will see what happens!  
> @Pinkshiori - Couldn't agree more! Bruni is just a precious baby!
> 
> Obviously those are the abridged versions of the reactions to the comments i will get to after posting lol. Now i'd say to enjoy the chapter but that doesn't feel accurate for this one so instead i'll just say, brace yourself!
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - There are heavier mentions of death, grief, and an actual horrible customer. Not sure if heads up or trigger warning is proper terminology here. Please skip or skim if needed.]

Maren wished she knew what happened.

Not even just with the night before. Everything had been going amazing. She enjoyed hearing Elsa talk about her cats. She thought the video of Bruni was adorable. They had some moments. It really felt like they were…. Or could be….

But then, without any explanation, Elsa rushed off. All she did was check her phone and then she ran. After Maren said that if Elsa was ever afraid, if there were ever any problems, if she ever felt like running, Maren would be there waiting. She wanted to be there. But when the time came, Elsa went in the opposite direction.

Even during today’s shift, Elsa was curt. Maren wouldn’t go so far as to describe her as cold; she could never. But something about her was clearly off.

But it wasn’t time yet for Maren to inquire. Perhaps when it slowed or there were no customers she would be able. At worst, she’d wait until Elsa clocked out for her half after the store closed. So for the time being she did as she was told. She began by giving Snow her fifteen on register two. Ella was on register five and Nani, as usual, was manning self scan. The current plan of action was to take over for Ella when Snow returned and then Maren would likely hop on her own register. As Ella was working for seven hours, she was allowed two fifteen-minute breaks or one half. Ella, ever the loyal employee, opted for the former so she would not leave her coworkers short-handed in case of a rush. Up to that point everything had gone as expected. The only difference was that now, masks were a requirement. There was a box of disposable ones behind customer service, hopefully enough to cover anyone who needed until they would be able to secure their own. Maren was one of those unfortunate souls.

It was nice to breathe while it lasted.

And it was even nicer to expect the expected while it lasted.

Maren never saw it coming. Hell, none of them could have seen it. She wouldn’t go so far as to say it rivaled The Weasel or the customer that degraded Snow. But this one came pretty damn close.

Maren must have replayed the scene over and over in her head every free moment she had available since.

She had approached Ella’s register, ready to take over for her. Since Ella already called the next guest to her lane, she offered to take them herself before starting her break. Maren had absolutely no problem bagging in the interim. Ella had greeted the customer in her typical friendly fashion. Her smile was warm and her voice was nothing short of inviting. Yes, even behind the mask it was somehow so obvious that Ella had the brightest smile.

“Hello, welcome to Oaken’s. I hope you found everything all right today. How are you doing?”

Then the customer spoke and proved to be anything but nice or polite.

“How could you ask me that??” the woman had shot angrily. “How _dare_ you ask me something like that!”

Maren knew what came next. She had learned her lesson after the Weasel incident. She had to pick her fights and this was not one of them. So she did just that, fortunately with little hesitation from Elsa. But if Maren had known what would come next, she never would have brought Elsa over. It was not just what the customer said that was so uncalled for, but it was in a tone that was so vile and nasty that Maren couldn’t put it into words.

“What gives you people the right to act like this? Is this all some kind of joke to you? People are _dead_ and you’re telling people to come into work with an attitude like this? Why the hell are you so happy that people are dying? How dare you make a joke about this!”

The next thing Maren knew, Elsa had spun on her heel and dashed into the cash office. She wasn’t even sure what Ella had said to the customer next; Maren ran to get Nani at self scan and switched positions with her.

Maren had been at self scan since.

Now it was fifteen minutes before closing. Elsa had yet to emerge from the cash office. Nani had not approached the door either to pass Elsa the tills or to ask how she was doing; instead she spent the shift rushing back and forth between the registers, customer service, and traffic control. It wasn’t that the day had been busy; aside from that one customer it was relatively uneventful. Still, Nani probably thought it best to stay close by just in case. Maren couldn’t say she blamed her.

She just wished she knew what happened. Why Elsa reacted the way she did. It wasn’t like her to let something customers say affect her. Elsa was so strong. She knew exactly how to handle and present herself. She was a fucking queen, for crying out loud. Yet somehow a customer reduced her to...well, _that_? Something was wrong. And Maren felt completely powerless to do anything.

With no customers on the machines at the particular moment, Maren took the opportunity to approach the service desk. She picked up the phone and made the announcement for Nani. “Attention customers the store will be closing in fifteen minutes. Please bring your purchases up front. Have a good night.”

She knew she should have said more. But at that point she didn’t care about having some damn script memorized. She was only worried about Elsa.

After hanging up the phone Maren returned to her mark. She glanced from the corner of her eye towards the cash office. Still no movement. She was about to turn back to self scan when she did a double take. No, she wasn’t crazy…at least not yet. Standing in front of the door, gripping her backpack over her shoulder was Snow. Maren raised an eyebrow at her coworker.

“Didn’t you clock out already? You should be home by now.”

“I don’t want to leave yet. I’m worried about Elsa,” she shook her head.

Maren’s face fell. “Yeah. Me, too.”

Snow tilted her head slightly, bringing her gaze towards Maren. “What happened exactly?”

Maren didn’t dare repeat the words. They were too vile, horrible, and uncalled for. “Something none of us needed to hear right now. It was unnecessary and an insult to Ella.” She shook her head. “You and her come in with the best attitudes everyday. But this bitch…” Maren didn’t bother to correct herself, as that customer didn’t even deserve any other name, “...she made it seem like just because we have this whole mess happening in the world, we all have to act totally miserable. And I think something she said really got to Elsa. You’ve seen Elsa deal with rowdy customers before. She can handle anything. This one...I don’t know. I guess a chord was struck or something.”

“That’s horrible. Why would anyone do something like that?” Snow gasped.

“Misery loves company. She probably wanted to bring someone down with her,” Maren suggested.

“Do you think Elsa will come out soon?” she asked hopefully.

“We close soon, so I hope,” Maren replied. “But she’s been in there this whole time for a reason. She probably needs some space right now. We just have to make sure we’re there when she comes out.” But it didn’t mean standing in front of the door waiting was going to do any good. And Maren couldn’t bear to watch Snow stare at the closed door so sadly. “Hey...how about you stand here with me at self scan for a bit? It’s not exactly exciting right now but….” She wished she had a better suggestion. But watching her pseudo-sister stare longingly at the door was disheartening. Maren didn’t only hurt for Elsa; she hurt for Snow. If there was anyone who wanted to make people feel better, if there was anyone who wanted to be emotionally connected to someone, it was Snow. But Maren was not only unable to help Elsa, she could not do anything more to lighten the situation for Snow. She didn’t need to continue to see this terror every day. Yet, there she was always.

“Did you have to deal with any mean customers today?” the teen asked, walking over to Maren.

“Thankfully, no. Just the same stupid questions about sales and produce,” Maren answered.

“Why do some people act like that, anyway?” Snow asked sadly. “No one even did anything. She just…yelled.”

Maren scrunched her nose. “Some people are just like that. When you’re talking about something you can react two different ways. You can be polite and friendly; nod and listen. Or you can be selfish and take your anger out on the person, no matter who it is. People have a choice to make. And sometimes they choose to put someone down instead of just biting their tongue and letting it go.”

“But didn’t all Ella do was say hello?” the teen inquired.

Maren sighed. “Sometimes that’s just all it takes. It can be something as simple as a greeting or it can be something as natural as who we are. Some people like to take something and spin it into something to complain or scream about.”

“What do you mean?” she asked, confused.

“I’ve dealt with people who are uncomfortable with who I am under normal circumstances. And now, with the way the world is, it’s bringing out the worst of the worst in people.”

“Can’t it also bring out the best? Like compliments, rainbow signs, and car parades?”

“It definitely can. It just…it doesn’t always happen that way.”

“Has that happened with you…?”

“Uh…. Yeah. Unfortunately.”

“But why would anyone have a problem with you? You come in all the time. You help out so much. You defend us and make us feel better. You’re an amazing person and a wonderful sister. What could be so horrible about that?”

Maren bit her bottom lip. It wasn’t that it was a taboo subject. Maren had absolutely no problem with who she was or being vocal about it. And plenty of people who were friendly to her before have completely switched their tune once Maren spoke about her sexuality. Snow was one of the sweetest people Maren ever met; she highly doubted that being open about it would change the teen’s perception of her. But at the same time, if it was still such a shock to see how people responded to the color of someone’s skin, to being told no, or with a simple greeting, how could she possibly understand that people could go so far as to hate Maren simply because of who she loved?

“It’s not exactly the same as this,” Maren admitted.

“Would you still be ok with telling me?” Snow asked.

Maren pursed her lips. How could she even begin to explain it in a way that would not scar Snow any worse than she might have already been? “You know how sometimes you’re talking about something with someone? Like a TV show? And you’re talking about how great it is and you’re happy that you met someone who likes the same thing you do? But then sometimes you say one thing, or you correct one small thing you may not agree with, and suddenly their whole tune changes? And they go from being the nicest person to being just plain nasty?”

To that, Snow nodded.

“Well, for me that comes with mentioning I’m bi. I’ve always known that I liked guys and girls. A lot of people think that bisexuality is a gateway to being gay. Or they argue about the definition. After high school, I did some traveling and I got to meet a ton of different people. And with that came a better understanding of my attraction,” Maren explained. “But I didn't think I needed to change my label. Most people look at bisexuality and they think it’s about only liking two. But for me, I started to focus on a more open meaning, two or more. I’m not interested in someone because of how they look or what sex they are; I just think it’s more about the person. It just so happens that for me, it’s usually been female. People react negatively because they don’t agree with my view or feelings about my label.”

“I know it’s not the same, not by any means,” she continued, “but right now the world is at two extremes. It’s either bringing out the best in people – the ones staying home, making the donations, or saying thank you to us – or the worst, like we’ve seen here. Maybe they’re pissed because they’re stuck at home and they can’t see their families, or they’re scared about not knowing what’s gonna happen next. So they take their anger out on us. So when I tell people about me, they can be accepting and maybe ask questions if they want, or they get pissed because they think I’m wrong for liking who I do, whether it’s because they’re homophobic or biphobic or they don’t agree with my choice in label.” She tugged her lips to the side in uncertainty. “I don’t know…. Does that make any sense?”

Snow furrowed her brows, lost in thought. For a moment Maren wondered if she went too far. Maybe it was a bit much. Despite the immense responsibilities on Snow’s shoulders, she was still just a kid. She was probably still figuring things out about herself. When would she have had time to do that, let alone even think about all the possibilities out there? But to her surprise, after a few more seconds, Snow spoke again.

“Do you think my stepmother was the same way?”

Maren tilted her head curiously. “How so?”

“Well...you said that, when presented with information, people have a choice. They can react with kindness or acceptance, or they can react by being selfish,” Snow answered. “Is it possible that, after everything happened, my stepmother acted out of selfishness? Or even sadness? And instead of choosing to focus on getting through something horrible together, she chose to care only about herself?”

Maren frowned. It was a simple question, but at the same time it was so meaningful. Somehow, in so few words, Maren knew exactly what Snow was asking. Was it possible that, after losing her father, her stepmother focused on only the worst of the situation? That instead of using it as an opportunity to get closer to Snow and realizing she hadn’t lost everything, she willingly threw a child’s life out on the street for her own selfish purposes? Because she was more worried about her own life and well being, completely disregarding and invalidating Snow in the process?

“I think it’s very possible,” the brunette admitted sadly. “Are you ok?”

Snow looked towards the self scans. “I am sad...a little. But...I think I also understand. People react extreme in a horrible situation. So maybe that’s what she did. And that’s what people are doing now. Even if it hurts others. They’re just trying to protect themselves.” Her gaze lowered before looking back up at Maren. “It still didn’t give her the right to do that before. Or for people to talk to you the way they do. I don’t think it matters what you are. I’m just glad you wanted to be my sister.”

“Thanks, Snow,” Maren offered her a small smile. “Still wanna be my sister, too?”

“Of course,” she nodded. But as soon as her smile came, it disappeared. She looked towards the cash office once more, and then at Maren. “Do you think Elsa will, too?”

“Hey, remember what she said last time? Of course she still wants to be your sister,” Maren encouraged. “Maybe she tries to put on an act in front of customers, but I don’t think she’d have this any other way.” She gave Snow another smile and the slightest nudge. “Hey. You’re a good kid, ok Sis? Don’t let those jerks get to you.”

“I’ll try,” she promised.

A doorknob turned. The girls quickly turned back to look at the cash office. Almost as quickly as the knob turned, Elsa emerged. But she wasted no time before rushing towards the back of the store.

“Elsa!” Snow gasped. She took a few steps forward, about to follow her. However, Maren stopped her by placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Give her a few more minutes, Snow. After we close up here, we’ll check on her together.”

And that’s exactly what they did. Once the final announcement was made and the last customer finished at self scan, Maren told Nani she was taking her break. With Snow beside her, Maren made her way to the break room. As small as it was and as disgusting as it could be sometimes, the break room had still become a sanctuary in Oaken’s. Whenever anyone felt scared or needed to take a moment, that was where they went to. So it was no surprise that, when they arrived, Elsa was already sitting at the table. Her back was towards them and her head hung down slightly. It appeared she had her arms wrapped around herself, probably concealing herself again. It was no surprise, though as much as it pained Maren to see she also could not ignore the wave of relief that washed over her. Elsa was in front of her. She was actually looking at her now. She was there.

While Maren was completely lost in the sight of their supervisor, Snow eagerly took a few steps forward. However a surprisingly hoarse and harsh tone halted her movements.

“Don’t. Please.”

Snow did as she was told and waited a moment. When Elsa responded no further, the teen took a few steps back so she was standing next to Maren once again. She gulped and fiddled with her hands, seeming to contemplate what to say or do next before looking towards Elsa again. “Are you ok…?”

The blonde only shook her head. “I don’t want to talk.”

“But…” Snow started.

“Leave!”

Elsa’s voice cut through the room like a knife. The tension had never been heavier, nor had it ever been courtesy of Elsa. Maren had forgotten how harsh Elsa could really sound. Not once did she ever personally feel such an icy pitch in her direction from Elsa, nor had she ever heard the blonde snap at Snow in that manner before. Surely she must have realized her error. Her grip around herself tightened and she spoke again, this time must more softly and barely audible.

“Sorry. Just…. Go. Please.”

Maren shook her head. She had no intention of leaving Elsa. Not like this. Not ever. “Elsa…. We know you’re not ok. You don’t have to talk about it but can you just…. Talk? Please?”

She shook her head.

Maren’s face fell. Even if she was only looking at Elsa’s back she could tell how hurt the woman must have been to not want to say anything. She could feel how wrong it was. This...this wasn’t Elsa. Even if Maren didn’t know everything about her, even if Elsa may have had skeletons in her closet, the woman sitting in front of them wasn’t Elsa. She was a piece of the woman known as Elsa. Whatever the reason for her reaction earlier, she was in pain. Maren would have given anything to change that.

“Can… Can you say something? Please…?” Maren asked hesitantly.

There was a pause. Of course Elsa wouldn’t want to say anything now. Why would she? Maren shouldn’t have just expected Elsa, the queen of concealing and not feeling, to just suddenly burst out in a fit of emotions, say anything and everything that was on her mind, and actually dare to let anyone fully in.

Finally, Elsa sighed. “How’s Ella?”

Maren held in a sigh of relief. It wasn’t much but it was certainly an improvement. That was more like Elsa; showing concern for her coworkers before herself. Elsa may have gotten the brunt of the comments and was ultimately the one affected, but they had originally been directed at Ella. Still, the concern for her coworker overpowered her mental and emotional health. It was never Elsa that was important; it was everyone else. But that was…wrong. Of course Elsa was just as important. She had every right to worry about herself. Still, she chose not to. And now, not only was she likely dealing with her own personal shit, she was probably also beating herself up for not standing up more for Ella. When was Elsa going to learn that it wasn’t about everyone else? That _she_ mattered?

“She’s doing ok,” Maren promised. “I talked to her when she started separating the throwbacks. She refused to help the customer out and Nani told the bitch to leave. Ella may always look for the best in people and she may try to understand what makes someone act like that. But she didn’t condone that douche yelling at you. That’s why she refused to help. Actually, Ella said she’s dealt with worse at the hotel.”

“She’s just worried about you. Like we are,” Snow summarized.

“I’m sorry,” Elsa choked out.

“Elsa, she…” Maren started.

As Maren prepared to take a step closer, Elsa rose. She stood with enough speed and force that the chair skidded across the floor underneath her. Her voice rose in sync with the sharp screech, “Stop.”

There she went concealing again. Concealing to the point where she was willing to push Maren and Snow away. Almost everything that escaped Elsa’s mouth since they entered was an attempt to be left alone. As if people actually caring about her was so terrible. As if Maren and Snow needed to be punished for it. What was so wrong about that? Why shouldn’t they care? Maren couldn’t let her go on like that.

“No. We won’t stop. You barely said five words today. You looked like you’d rather be anywhere else. You locked yourself in…ugh, what is the cash office anyway, some sort of closet thing? Something is wrong, Elsa. You don’t have to talk about it if you really don’t want but can’t you just let us be here for you? We care about you. We wanna help. Why is it so difficult for you to accept?”

Elsa’s response came just as short, gruff, and emotional as her previous ones. “Enough.”

“No. No, not enough!” Maren insisted. “You don’t have to shut us out. You don’t have to shut the world out. We’re here. We _want_ to be here. Why won’t you let us? Why don’t you want us here with you? Why can’t you see how much we care about you?”

“Just let it go,” she forced out. As quickly as she could, Elsa turned around and tried to run past the two of them and to the door. The distance wasn’t far nor did it seem as anticlimactic, but to Maren everything was happening in slow motion. Everything she was saying wasn’t sinking in. Anything she and Snow tried to offer wasn’t good enough. Something was going on with Elsa and instead of leaning on the people who cared about her for support or trying to take care of herself, she was using whatever strength she had to push them away. This wasn’t Elsa. She wasn’t the Snow Queen, Snow’s sister, Queen Elsa, or even Angel. She was just a shadow of all of those personas. The ones that made Elsa perfectly Elsa. Maren couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t let Elsa just leave like that. There had to be a way to get her to stop. Not even to talk, just to lean on them. Just to get her to stay and accept some damn support.

“Angel, stop!”

And just like that, the footsteps halted. Maren’s breath hitched. She hesitated to turn around and actually look at Elsa. She couldn’t even allow herself to look at Snow and wonder what kind of reaction the teenager held. She just...she just yelled. It didn’t matter who else was in the room or who heard. All that mattered was that it got Elsa to stop.

Slowly, Maren willed herself to turn around. Elsa was right at the door, her hand up against the wood. She had every intention of walking out. But she stopped. Because of Maren. Swallowing, Maren forced herself to approach the blonde. “You’re always there for us. You’ve got us,” she told her softly. “Let us look out for you, too. Please.”

There wasn’t an immediate reaction. Elsa’s head only hung down. But even from the profile view and a few bangs hanging in front of Elsa’s face, Maren could make out some tearstains. They seemed to have soaked Elsa’s mask; how bad must it have been for Elsa to even forget she was wearing it in the first place? What she wouldn’t have given to punch that bastard earlier. For breaking Elsa the way she did. What she wouldn’t have given to just grab Elsa, pull her into arms and just be there. To prove to her that everything was going to be ok. To do everything in her power to get even the faintest smile again. To just have her Angel back.

To Elsa’s other side, Snow slowly came into view. The teen placed her bag down on the floor and then stood up straight, looking at Elsa hopefully. She spoke so softly that if it weren’t for her high-pitched her voice likely wouldn’t have been audible.

“I know you said no hugs…. But…. May I…? Please…?”

Snow was so careful in her question. She didn’t have any expectations. There was no force. There was no guilt. Her intentions were as pure as they came. Snow didn’t know what else to do except hug Elsa. It was the one thing she knew she could give. A contribution she knew she was capable of making. Maren watched Elsa’s body language carefully. At first her limbs didn’t move. Her eyes remained shut and, after a moment, her fingers only bent slightly against the door. Maren tilted her head. She wasn’t going to say anything. There was no wrong answer. It was whatever Elsa was most comfortable with. Snow wouldn’t take any offense, Maren was sure of that. Whatever Elsa would decide, she just needed to know that she had two people standing beside her who cared deeply for her. Who were ready to fight for and comfort her. Who were willing to do everything in their power to help her. If Elsa wasn’t going to listen to Maren or accept anything from her, then the brunette hoped that Elsa would at least take something from Snow. That she would not turn the teen away.

Maybe that was why Elsa’s response came in the tiniest of nods.

Wasting no time, Snow wrapped her arms tight around Elsa. The teen came barely above Elsa’s chest, the height difference painfully obvious now. Maren had forgotten how tall Elsa was in comparison to someone else. It would almost be funny if the circumstances were different. Seeing the two of them so close like that, taking in their similarities, they really could have been mistaken for sisters.

Elsa flinched at Snow’s touch. Her back arched. Her body seemed frozen in fear, as if it couldn’t process that someone was actually hugging her. Suddenly, everything seemed to happen in slow motion. Her body began to relax. Her arms slowly made their way around Snow, albeit loosely. Her shoulders fell. The tension lowered. Elsa closed her eyes fully and her breath became steadier. She almost seemed…at peace. So much so like the night before when Maren held her hand. How, after a moment of shock, everything else fell right into place. And it looked like she was home.

Maren stepped around so she was now in front of Elsa. She didn’t speak right away nor was she going to initiate any physical contact. No, she wasn’t even going to ask. Elsa was handling enough and with the moment she was having with Snow, Maren wouldn’t dare interrupt that. Instead she placed her hands on Snow’s shoulders. They made no contact with Elsa’s arms, which were around the teen’s waist. Maren didn’t move in any closer. At least this way, there was still a sense of togetherness with them.

“Hey,” she finally whispered after some time passed, “we’re here. And we’re not gonna let anything like that happen again. Ok?”

Elsa shook her head once, and her voice came out in something below a whisper. “I’m sorry.”

Maren furrowed her brows. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“No…. I…. I shouldn’t have come in today,” Elsa confessed.

“Hey don’t let that bitch get to you,” Maren assured her. “If it wasn’t at you it was gonna be at someone else. We weren’t gonna be able to change that. She came for blood and she got it.”

“No…. Not that…. I mean….” Elsa paused. She let out a tight breath. “I shouldn’t have come in.”

There was another long pause. Snow’s head tilted up slightly and Maren made no sudden moves or responses. She let Elsa answer when she was ready.

The blonde’s voice was still hoarse, but that time it was clearer than before. “Today is the anniversary of my parents.”

It all made sense now. Why Elsa responded the way she did. Why she was so hurt. Why she was pushing people away. Today was one of the most vulnerable days for her and what was she doing? Working. No, not even working. She was hiding. She could have done that at home. Instead she chose to come into work. Whether it was out of obligation or to keep her mind occupied or because her work ethic was just too strong for her own good. She came into work to escape from everything and what happed? She was called out for encouraging positive attitudes. Because how dare anyone be so upbeat and hopeful in a time when the world was so dark and uncertain. How dare Ella come in with the most positive, welcoming outlook when, in reality, she had every reason to act otherwise even outside the Covid-19 crisis. How dare Elsa not correct her on it and how dare she run her store that way.

That bitch _broke_ Elsa.

And it made Maren’s heart sink.

“I’m so sorry, Elsa,” Maren whispered. Even though her words were sincere, she wished there was so much more she could say or do. And she knew well enough that simply saying sorry didn’t make everything better.

“Me, too,” Snow nodded into her chest.

Elsa’s grip tightened around Snow slightly. And even though her eyes were still closed, Maren could have sworn she saw nothing but sadness behind them. Elsa was trying so hard to simultaneously keep them out and yet let them in ever so slightly. What Maren would have given to be able to take Elsa in her arms. To send caution to the wind and just hold her. Comfort her. Be there for her. Let her know she was there. Give Elsa someone to lean on. Elsa was someone who seemed to put so much on herself. She carried everything on her own. Even from what she had shared with Maren, that much was painfully obvious. But no one should have had to do that. No one should have felt like they had to do everything on their own. And out of everyone in the world, certainly not Elsa.

But no matter how much Maren wanted to take action, no matter how much she wanted to protect her, no matter how much she wanted to say something just to put the faintest smile on Elsa’s face, she couldn’t bring herself to do it. Somehow it felt as though getting too close to her would be like taking advantage. Elsa wasn’t in the right mental or emotional state for that. Maren couldn’t put her through more.

So she did the next best thing she could think of. She removed her hands from Snow’s shoulders and then discarded her gloves. Reaching into her back pants pocket she pulled out a new container of hand sanitizer, a scent she knew Elsa would enjoy. Maren squeezed a little onto her palm and then, after putting the container away, rubbed her hands together. She placed her hands towards her nose just enough to know if the scent was noticeable enough. Her nose scrunched; oh right. Damn mask. She pulled it down so it was now resting around her neck. That was much better.

With one hand back on Snow’s shoulder, as if that was where it belonged for the interim, Maren cautiously lifted her other hand up. It was so tempting to do something. To gently tug Elsa’s mask down. To just feel the edges of her platinum blonde locks which looked so damn soft and full up close. To just have another intimate moment like they did the other night. When Maren could feel the warmth of Elsa’s hand surge through her body. When it felt like she was being entrusted with one of the most precious gifts. When she could just feel so much more connected to Elsa.

Instead she left it near Elsa’s face. Close enough to touch if given permission but far enough so she wouldn’t feel trapped or obligated. Maren watched in awe as Elsa’s brows furrowed, realizing something was different. She inhaled and, in the same motion, her eyebrows rose with wonder.

“Is that…?” she managed to ask.

Maren wished she could revel in that tone much longer. For that brief moment it almost seemed as though anything terrible about the day had been forgotten. “Sprinkle donut,” she nodded. “I broke into Ryder’s room this morning and searched for another one.” She didn’t dare mention how she basically tore up the room trying to find his secret hidden stash. Fortunately for Maren, his room always looked like a mess anyway. She doubted he would take notice. And even so, for Elsa, it was absolutely worth the risk.

“I…I try to forget a lot of the time, too. I remember the first time. It was middle school, a few years after my mom. I stayed late that day so I really didn’t think anything of it. It wasn’t until my friend’s mom came to get us that it really hit me. And I was pissed. I was so fucking pissed…I actually kicked her car. I kicked her car and just ran,” Maren admitted. “She wasn’t mad, thankfully…. But I still was. With my dad, there was nothing we could’ve done. He…it just happened to be his time. But my mom? She had a choice. We needed her and she left us. Sometimes it still pisses me off. I know it’s not exactly the same with your parents…. But it doesn’t make it hurt any less. You’re allowed to hurt. You’re allowed to feel the way you do. You’re allowed to lean on us, Elsa. We want you to. We didn’t know you before to be there for you. But we can be here now. And if you need us to, just say the word. We’ll go to war for you, Angel.”

Maren had no idea what could have compelled her to share anything. It wasn’t to make Elsa understand that, even on the faintest level, Maren could relate to her. She just…. She felt that Elsa needed to know _something_. Whether it was that she was handling the situation better than a young teen Maren ever did; whether it was to remind her that she wasn’t alone; or whether it was one final attempt to knock some sense into her that, yes, Maren and Snow wanted to be there for her. Not even from that moment on…they chose that route when they became a family. Whatever kind of dysfunctional one that was or it was just some sitcom retail family. They chose each other. And they would continue to choose each other over and over again.

Elsa’s brows furrowed. Her voice was still quiet, a bit forced. But the icy tone was long melted. “Please don’t call me that today.”

Maren’s face fell. Those words stung, she had to admit. Even though it started as a complete accident, somehow it just became part of Elsa. From the second it escaped her lips, Maren no longer looked at Elsa as just Elsa. And certainly not fully as her supervisor. She looked to her as Angel. That’s who she was. It wasn’t just her new identity; it was her personality. It was everything about her. It seemed as though Elsa had accepted it as well. Maren asked her if she wanted to stop. She did try to stop…admittedly horribly…but she did try. But Elsa never corrected her. She responded to it like it was so much more than just a nickname. On some level, she had to know that’s who she was.

How could she now decide she wanted nothing to do with it? What brought her to the point where she felt she had to tell Maren to stop? If only for one day?

Any other day, Maren would argue. She’d stubbornly hold her ground and refuse to acknowledge it. She’d list every reason she could think of to remind Elsa why she was Angel. She’d fight to keep using that name. But today wasn’t that day. Maren respected Elsa in every other way. Surely, at least for the rest of this shift, she could do this for her.

“Ok,” she conceded faintly. Maren paused, twisting her lips. “But…come next clock in, the agreement’s off the table.”

She couldn’t resist. And she wasn’t going to lie, part of her hoped that it would get some small positive reaction from Elsa. Even if it would result in the blonde calling her annoying. She would gladly take it. From Elsa? She’d go so far as to call it the highest compliment.

She did half expect a comment to come from Elsa, even if it would be after a minute. But the words never came. Instead, Elsa removed an arm from around Snow. She began lifting her hand surprisingly close to where Maren’s was still floating. The brunette almost didn’t realize it at first. Somehow she thought maybe she just had to scratch her nose or something.

Actually, that sounded like a horrible assumption when Maren actually thought about it.

But then Maren felt the chill up her spine. The chill from the sudden contact that quickly evaporated into warmth. It started with one of Elsa’s fingers brushing up just against the tip of Maren’s knuckle. There was a pullback, almost as if Elsa’s hand was inspecting its surroundings. A blush briefly covered Maren’s cheeks and her lip trembled momentarily, unsure of what exactly was happening. Then she felt it. Elsa’s hand returned. The edges of her fingers snaked around Maren’s hand. It was barely enough to cover her pinky finger, but it was still there. Elsa’s hand around hers. Holding it. Willingly. Unprompted.

The blush returned, Maren’s face hotter than ever. Her thoughts blurred together into a mess of incoherent questions and sentences. Her only clear thought was questioning how the hell her hand wasn’t shaking uncontrollably. By all accounts this should not have been happening. They shouldn’t…. She shouldn’t…. This was….

Then came the final blow. One of the last things Maren expected from that moment. Elsa’s eyes fluttered, long lashes hovering over her eyes. The action seemed to linger until finally they opened. Not all the way; hell, not even close. But it was just enough for Maren to get a look at the edges of her blue pools. And just like that, the brunette could feel her body melting.

She had to get the hell out of there. Before she did something she could never take back.

“I…. I have to get back….” Maren suddenly blurted.

Not giving either of them a chance to respond and certainly not willing to turn back herself to see the looks on their faces, Maren sprinted. The warmth vanished all too quickly to her liking from her hand and suddenly her body felt numb. It almost felt lost without Elsa’s touch now. Even if it was the simplest thing in the world, even if it was the lightest connection possible. It was still from Elsa.

Oh shit this is what happened when she got close to people she worked with. This was exactly what Maren had been trying to avoid in the first place. She let herself bond with people, opened herself up to them, and it actually led her to think…. She actually let herself believe….

Ugh, it was Attina all over again!

She hadn’t just been let down in the past, she’d been hurt. Maren swore she would never let that happen again. And now here she was, right back at square one.

Maren leaned forward, pressing her hands against her knees. She hoped that Nani or Ella weren’t anywhere nearby; she didn’t need either of them to see her so frantic. Hell, she didn’t need anyone seeing her this way! She just…. She had to get her act together. Focus on some work. Put some crap away. Find some chocolate ice cream…any chocolate ice cream…and just down it as soon as she got home.

“Maren!”

The brunette jumped back, quickly standing upright and holding her hands in front of her as if she were a child caught with her hands in the cookie jar.

Snow blinked, taking a step back. “Oh…. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean….”

Maren let her breath slow. It was just Snow. That…that wasn’t so bad. It was ok. “It’s…it’s ok,” she lied. “I just…. I have to get back to work… I gotta go…” She was about to turn and run to the front when Snow spoke again.

“Is it something either of us did?” Snow asked. “We’re sorry, we didn’t mean….”

“No,” Maren cut her off.

Ok, that wasn’t a total lie.

It was something Elsa did.

She held Maren’s hand and stared at her with those big blue eyes just peeking out from underneath her eyelashes that were basically screaming for Maren to come closer.

God, those eyes were gorgeous!

No. No. No!

That was _not_ the point!

Maren shook her head. It wasn’t Elsa’s fault. She couldn’t have known something so simple would make Maren swoon like some lovesick puppy. It was on Maren for reading too much into it and for letting her feelings overtake her.

“Just…just stay with Elsa, ok? Stay with her as long as she needs,” Maren forced out. She exhaled a couple of times. She just…she had to get it together. Focus on the job. Take another moment, go back up front, put away some crap, get some chocolate ice cream….

Maybe if she repeated the same steps over and over again she could drown out anything about Elsa.

Focus. Put crap away. Buy ice cream.

Focus. Put crap away. Buy ice cream.

Focus….

“You really love Elsa, don’t you?”

Maren’s body froze. Her eyes widened to the point where she thought they were going to fall out of her face. Her lips parted and her jaw stiffened. She couldn’t tell if her heart stopped on the spot or if it was just racing too fast for her to even feel it thumping.

It was one thing when Nani teased her; Maren didn’t think to take everything that woman said seriously. It was frustrating, yes. But it wasn’t like Nani would openly announce anything. It was all teasing. It was her riling Maren up for the fun of it. But Snow….

Snow looked to Maren and Elsa as her sisters.

She basically brought them together.

She was there when they teased each other.

She called them a wonderful team.

She heard Maren call Elsa Angel.

Oh fuck.

Snow heard Maren call Elsa Angel.

Snow was in the break room with them the entire time. She saw the way Maren reacted. She heard how passionate Maren talked about Elsa. She saw how much effort Maren put into getting Elsa to open up, to feel comfortable enough around them. Did…?

Did she see Elsa take Maren’s hand?

It sounded so simple but somehow it felt like such a breach of privacy on Elsa’s behalf.

It took so much for Elsa to willingly make contact with someone. Maren felt so special when Elsa held her hand. She thought that somehow, that smallest possible action equated to something meaningful and intimate.

And now….

If Snow knew, how many more people would know?

How much more obvious could it possibly get?

What if Elsa found out?

What if she didn’t feel the same way?

What if she really did feel betrayed somehow?

Maren couldn’t let this happen.

Maren _wouldn’t_ let this happen.

Not again.

Fuck where was that damn magical voice when she actually needed it??

“Maren…?”

Dammit Snow, stop sounding so adorably naïve, Maren screamed in her mind.

She bit her tongue and fiddled with her hands. If only she could get her body to react more than that. If she could just work up the damn strength and run to the front and focus on putting that damn crap away like she was supposed to….

No, Snow! Don’t come any closer!

Ok fine, she could stand in front of Maren and stare. Nothing wrong with that.

Usually.

Although she could do without the worried stare.

But for the love of all things chocolate, Snow, don’t say anything, Maren begged in her mind, please just shut the hell up!

And in true sister fashion, Snow went completely against all of Maren’s thoughts and hopes.

Even if she still sounded like the most adorable child ever.

“Maren…? You love Elsa, don’t you?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm going to be selfish and just dive right into the story behind the story here. So back in May my store was still doing the one line for all registers and most of the time one of us would be down by the regular cashiers with a megaphone to call the next customer down to the available register (as opposed to yelling across the store at the top of our lungs). Most of my coworkers would just say "next to register 2" or "register 8"...super simple. When i did the megaphone i'd say things like "register 8, come on down you're the next contestant on the Price is Right" or "Register 2 is open for business, we accept cash, credit, debit, EBT, WIC, checks but NOT chocolate!" Most of my coworkers enjoyed that and i was very fortunate that one of my managers (who has since transferred stores) encouraged that because they knew i was having fun. Customers were a mixed bag. There was more compliments than not and most times anyone who had an issue with that would just say "that's not funny, you know". And most times i just shrugged it off. But there was this one instance in May, an older woman approached me and she started out by saying "you know this isn't funny". And i told her exactly what my boss said to do if i had any issues with customers like that - to tell her if she had an issue to ask to speak to the manager. Except she kept going. And in the rudest possible voice, word for word, she said to me EXACTLY what the customer in this chapter said. i broke down a minute later and spent the next hour hiding in the break room (my coworkers would swear it wasn't that long though). And that was a personal low blow for me because since my dad passed in 2015 i handled anything relating to death worse than usual. It's to the point where if anyone says "i'm dying" or "this thing is killing me" even in a joking matter, whether it's in person or in an online chat, i have to leave. Because i can't take even the joke of it. So for someone to say to me i was making fun of people dying when i react that bad to a joke to the point it feels like a trigger...that was a low blow. And that was a month away from the anniversary of losing my dad. So it hit very close to home and broke me to the point where i didn't even officially take my break that shift let alone eat anything. 
> 
> If i reacted that bad a month away from the 5year date, i wondered how Elsa would react to something like that on the day of. Especially when she is HELLA better at concealing than i am. Would she be broken, too? How would she handle comments like that? And how different would it be for her, someone who had a complex relationship with her parents, compared to me who had the most amazing relationship with my dad? And it seems like it takes A LOT to break Elsa. And like her with Snow and Maren, i was so fortunate to have coworkers who supported me and lifted me and had my back and wanted to make me feel better.
> 
> i don't believe i have to say this to you guys, but i feel like it still needs to be said: Be kind to customer service employees. And if you see or hear someone who talked to an employee like that, let the employee know they're doing amazing. Let the manager know that person is doing amazing. Just...don't treat people like crap. If possible, don't let someone else treat people like crap. Retail can very much be an abusive field. We get so many customers with the worst attitudes and bring us down like that...but we're people, too. We have feelings and we go through stuff during and outside of work. And if anyone takes anything away from this story, especially this chapter, i hope it's to be better than this. And that it makes people think, if you wouldn't talk to a Disney character like this, if you wouldn't talk to a character you or your friend or relative loved and admired so much, would you talk to an ACTUAL person like that?
> 
> My job isn't perfect. No job is. But i love working, i love being of use to people, and i know i'm good at what i do. And i try to go in and leave any issues at home or in my life at the door. And i'm so thankful to have coworkers who understand and support me because they're what make the job worth it and i'm ok because of them. And that's something i try to capture every time i write these interactions.
> 
> And naturally there's the full author note with no room left for anything else i wanted to needlessly overexplain in this chapter from the interaction to Snow being precious to how the ending originally was to that moment with the hand to Maren basically being BUSTED! lol. So i will do my best to touch up more on that in the author note next chapter and to respond to any comments before then to alleviate any questions. As always thank you guys so much for reading and see you next week! <3


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, Hurricane, for taking my power away for three days AT THE EXACT MOMENT i was getting into a groove writing the chapter i was struggling with and driving me absolutely crazy! -_-;
> 
> Ok, i actually did manage to write some things i want to include in this story, whether it's this story or a sequel of some sort. i mean, yes, a lot of them are more retail horror stories with annoying customers and can't all possibly fit into one story but that's besides the point. But as far as daydreams or ideas for characters there are a couple of things i have toyed with or thought about and if, when this story eventually comes to its end you guys want more i'm not only willing to make it happen but i'll also have ideas to make it a reality. So i will be asking in the end author note if there's anything anyone might eventually like to see on some level (aside from more Cat Bruni because of course i want more of him, too). But overall the storm really was a creative destroyer. i was definitely happy i was smart enough to respond to all the comments from last chapter before then! Anyway.
> 
> i wanted to thank you guys so much for the nice things you had to say about the last chapter. It's definitely a different feeling writing about a retail horror story that had such a personal experience but everyone had such encouraging things to say and i just wanna thank you guys so much for the support and also for actually acknowledging that this story may have helped you all deal with retail in some way. Like...for this to have a positive impact on the way people handle their trips to stores or supermarkets or how they think about interacting with the retail workers, that was never anywhere near a thought in my head. So if this story does nothing else then i am so glad and grateful that it'd having the impact it does in that regard.
> 
> Also i'd like to share that yes, i am definitely ok and in the aftermath of that particular retail horror story, my friend from work and i actually hung out after our shifts in the break room and wrote a retail song to the tune of Let It Go. We have no regrets except that we actually have not sung it to the music yet or shared it with anyone LOL.
> 
> Anyway, i hope everyone else who had to deal with the hurricane made it out alright and is hanging in there. i know i got A LOT to catch up on, starting with some binge watching followed by - surprise! - food shopping. The irony when i basically spend my life in a supermarket. i can't promise this chapter will be an amazing distraction, it may still be a bit emotionally heavy, but i will give you one spoiler to make it better - Cat Bruni!
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - Trigger warning for the censored f slur, obviously connected to homophobia, occurring in the first scene of the chapter although she does briefly bring it up in a later conversation with Kristoff as she vents.]

_What was that smell?_

_It was so overwhelming._

_Sweet._

_Sugary._

_Almost like…confetti._

_She knew that scent._

_Sprinkle donut._

_But how…? She’d left that at home, on her desk next to her sketchbook. Where did…?_

_No._

_It wasn’t hers._

_There was only one other person she knew of who used that. Who could have possibly had that on them._

_Maren._

_Her hand must have been so close…either that or Maren had used quite a lot of hand sanitizer._

_Her brows furrowed at the confusion. But then she took a deep breath in, allowing herself to completely drown into the sensation. Her eyebrows rose suddenly with wonder. She spoke softly, but for the first time that day, loud enough so someone could actually hear her._

_“Is that…?”_

_Maren’s voice followed. It was light. Calm. And for the first time since she came into the break room…no, for the first time that shift…Elsa found herself eased by not only Maren’s voice but also her presence. It was almost as if she could finally breathe. It was the simplest explanation yet it spoke volumes._

_Apparently what Elsa learned during her time as an art student was accurate after all – less was more._

_“Sprinkle donut. I broke into Ryder’s room this morning and searched for another one.”_

_She didn’t think she could find another one. She didn’t think another one even existed. Yet she searched. She tore up her brother’s room just to find one small thing she knew Elsa enjoyed. Whether Ryder would care or not, Elsa had no idea. All she knew was that Maren went to the trouble of looking for something for her._

_She did that for Elsa._

_Was that supposed to make her feel this way?_

_Almost as if…._

_Elsa’s hand rose. She didn’t remember telling it to do that; only that it moved on its own accord. Briefly she felt something against her fingertip. No, it wasn’t Maren who had moved. It was Elsa. She felt Maren’s hand. If only for a moment, she felt it. Her finger pulled back and Elsa could feel herself flinching. That much she knew was happening. But then it inched forward again. And in the tiniest, simplest of motions, the edges of her fingers fully found their way back to Maren’s hand._

_And she held it._

_Even if it was only by the ends, if only it were the tiniest part of Maren’s hand. Elsa was holding it._

_And for that brief moment everything else faded. She forgot what day it was. She forgot about the horrid customer. She forgot about any and everything gnawing at her heart. She was there. With Maren. She was seen. She was accepted. And she was safe._

_Slowly, Elsa finally began opening her eyes. She wanted to be able to see Maren for herself now. She wanted to take everything in. To see how close they were. To see if maybe…._

_But as soon as her eyes fluttered open, Maren turned._

_She dashed out the door in an instant._

_Suddenly, as the door slammed darkness surrounded Elsa. Her eyes widened, finally opening fully. Her hand froze in place mid air, where Maren’s had been all too briefly. Her other arm was pulled involuntarily to her chest. Her heart began racing and Elsa turned her head frantically in both directions. There wasn’t anyone there with her. She was alone._

_And then the voices came._

_“How could you do that Elsa?”_

_“What were you thinking?”_

_Her eyes widened more, if it were possible. She didn’t recognize those voices. The words were clear yet the tone was a blur. Who…who was talking to her…? She turned her head back and forth again, as if to expect someone would randomly come up to her._

_“MROOOOOOOOOW!”_

_A screaming Bruni ran past her and Elsa jumped back in shock._

_A hissing sound followed, only for Elsa to be met with a glaring Gale._

_“Gale Time…?”_

_That was her voice. But…._

_HISS!_

_Gale ran._

_Elsa’s chest began heaving. What…what was happening…?_

_“What are you going to do with your life?”_

_“This is all your fault.”_

_“I can’t wait to see you fired!”_

_“See? I told you I was right!”_

_So many voices were being thrown at her at once. Whether they were any she knew, random customers, coworkers, family members…Elsa had no idea. All she could do was hunch forward and cover her ears._

_“Stop…” she choked. “S…stop it…”_

_“This would’ve never happened when your father was here!”_

_No. The company was done. It was out of Elsa’s life. Get out of my head, she thought!_

_“We need to make a case….”_

_“It may go to trial….”_

_“You’ll have to speak on your parents’ behalf….”_

_“Their fault….”_

_That was the lawyer. But…but that was done with. It was over long ago…. At least, she thought it was…._

_“Go…away…” she whispered, leaning more forward._

_“I’m sure it’s just a phase.”_

_That voice she heard loud and clear._

_“M…mother…?”_

_“It’s probably nothing. Let’s not give your father a reason to worry.”_

_“No…. No….”_

_Elsa’s voice was gruff. She wasn’t sure how much more of this she could take._

_“It…it’s not…. It’s not….”_

_A deeper voice followed, one that made Elsa feel like a block of ice._

_“Elsa I don’t have time for this.”_

_“Father I need to tell you this….”_

_“It can wait.”_

_“No it can’t.”_

_No. Not that again._

_Even if it wasn’t the whole conversation._

_Elsa didn’t need to relive any of it._

_No…no! Make it stop!_

_“I don’t need to hear it!”_

_“Yes you do! Father I’m…”_

_“NO!”_

_Everything began swirling around her. Elsa pressed her hands as hard against her ears as she possibly could. She couldn’t take it anymore. If she heard one more word…._

_“We are_ not _to speak of this again!”_

_“Get that filthy scum out of your head!”_

_“You are never to bring it up again!”_

_“No daughter of mine is going to be a fucking f-ggot!”_

_The words were suffocating. The gravity of the memories was weighing her down more and more. Elsa couldn’t take it for another second._

_“ENOUGH!!!”_

_The next thing she knew, her arms flew out and deadly icicles shot from them. The ice surrounded her, not only forming a deadly cage but also flying in every direction. Snow. Shattered ice. Icicles. Crystals. Any and every kind of ice, there it was. Elsa heaved; what the hell was happening?_

_Then, before she had a second to register anything, she looked up. And a giant block of ice was coming from right above, allowing her no room to run except allow it to crush her into the worthless piece of dust that she was._

“NO!!!”

Elsa’s body lunged out of bed, the blanket toppling over onto the ground. Elsa could feel the cold sweat dripping from her forehead. Her usual pristine hair was very much out of place, loose strands in every which direction. Breath after breath followed and Elsa moved her hand over her heart; unable to recall the last time she felt it racing so rapidly.

_“Mrew?”_

Elsa gasped.

Her body jerked back and she turned to the side of the bed, eyes falling onto the floor beside it. A rather large and uneven bump was moving underneath the comforter. What was it? What was coming for her? Elsa clenched her top. Oh god, what the hell was happening?

Suddenly, Bruni’s head popped out from under the corner.

He blinked one eye, turned his head, then looked back up at Elsa, and blinked the other one.

_“Mrow.”_

A heavy sigh escaped the blonde.

“Oh thank god,” she exhaled.

It was just Bruni.

She leaned forward, head falling into her hands and fingers tightly grabbing herself. She could feel some of the strands of hair tangle between her fingers but quite frankly she could care less. She felt a movement of the bed, but thankfully had enough sense to realize it was just Bruni jumping back up.

She had to get it together. She had to control herself.

Shit, what were those things Anna was always reminding her to do…?

Things she saw, things she heard, things she…. Some other sense?

Oh god, she really was useless on her own.

_“Mew?”_

Oh, ok. That was Bruni.

She heard Bruni.

Maybe she could do this.

Ok so she heard Bruni.

What else did she hear…?

Did her breathing count?

Well the voices in her head sure as hell didn’t.

Ok, something else she heard.

Something else she heard….

_Bok. Bok. Bok._

Ugh, what the hell was that?

Another random voice in her head?

Go away!

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

Oh…wait.

Knocking?

There was the faintest muffled sound that came from the other side.

It was kind of deep, but also kind of familiar.

Wait…. She knew that sound.

“Kristoff…?”

She raised her head and furrowed her brows. Was she crazy? Why would Kristoff…?

_Knock. Knock._

“Elsa?”

It was still faint, though a bit louder that time.

Was he trying to call her?

Forcing herself off of her bed, Elsa exited her bedroom and then wandered to the front of the apartment. She leaned forward, glancing through the peephole to see what was definitely a very distorted Kristoff. The blonde blinked and then scrambled to unlock the door and let him in.

“Kristoff? What are you doing here? Wait…what time is it?”

“Early,” he answered. “I came to check on you before work.”

Elsa rubbed her temples. She managed to close the door after Kristoff walked in, but still found her head pounding.

“I…I don’t understand….”

Kristoff approached the counter and helped himself to just a little hand sanitizer. “Wow, you really don’t look so good,” he observed.

“Gee, thanks,” she mumbled.

He quickly threw his hands up, shaking them. “I…I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that it seemed like you…well you’re kinda groggy…and your hair…and your voice…”

Elsa narrowed her gaze.

The blond cleared his throat. “Yeah I think I’m gonna shut up now.”

Elsa shook her head. She managed to navigate her way to the couch. When she believed she was towards the middle, she allowed herself to fall back. She lay flat across the couch, though her head barely missed one of the pillows and landed on the arm instead. She continued rubbing her temples. The pounding inside of her head was causing much more discomfort than the arm of the couch against her skull. She couldn’t conjure anything remotely coherent to say outside of a groan.

“Rough night?” Kristoff asked lightly.

She didn’t need to look at him or even open her eyes to see that he was concerned. But then again, Kristoff had a general idea of what might be causing Elsa any amount of distress.

“That’s one word for it,” she muttered.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really.”

“Oh.”

Pause.

“Ok then…”

Another pause.

“So…”

Did he really have to keep pausing between every word like that?

“What do you wanna talk about?”

“I’m not the one who barged in.”

“Actually, you invited me in.”

Elsa opened one eye just to glare at him.

“Ok, fine. Point taken.”

Elsa shook her head. She kept herself facing toward the ceiling and let out a single breath as she closed her eye once again.

“What do you want?”

She really didn’t mean for it to sound as curt as it came out. But between her anxiety, her night, her fears, her…well, pretty much everything…Elsa simply didn’t have the energy in her to correct it let alone apologize.

“I wanna talk to you,” he said simply. However there was no force or ill intend in his voice, which brought the faintest relief to Elsa.

And not just because she didn’t have the energy or desire to deal with it currently.

“What about?” she groaned.

“Please don’t get mad.”

“Which is code for, I’m going to get mad.”

“Maybe….”

“What is it?”

He paused and let out a slow breath.

“I think you need to talk to Anna.”

“What about?”

“Are you actually gonna talk about it if I bring it up?”

“Probably not.”

“Then you definitely need to talk about it with Anna.”

“You know most so-called normal people don’t spend all this time beating around the bush.”

“And most so-called normal people don’t give their coworker they secretly like a drawing to show they like them instead of actually saying it.”

Elsa’s eyes shot open.

That got her attention.

Letting out the quietest gasp, Elsa sat up. She was met with a stare from Kristoff.

Elsa pulled in her lips.

He raised an eyebrow.

She averted her gaze.

He moved his hands to his hips.

Elsa gulped.

He narrowed his gaze.

She bit the side of her cheek.

“Elsa.”

His voice was simple, yet commanding. He wasn’t trying to force anything out of her, but both knew quite well the lengths Kristoff would go to help his friends. If it meant standing there and having a failed staring contest with her all night, he absolutely would.

Finally realizing there was no escaping, she opened her mouth and forced the next question out.

“H…how did you…?”

“Maren told me.”

“About…?”

“The drawing.”

“Does she?!”

“Know? No.”

Pause.

“But…you do…?”

“…Yeah.”

Elsa shook her head. No. No. No. No. This…. Now…. Maren….

It was too much.

“I…I can’t do this right now.”

“Elsa.”

“No!” She pushed herself off the couch and held up a finger definitively. “No. I…I’m going to take a shower and…and this conversation is…. It’s just over, alright?”

“You can’t hide from this, Elsa!” he called after her as she made her way towards the other side.

“I can sure as hell try!” she yelled. She grabbed what she needed from her bedroom before entering the bathroom.

“You do that and…. And I’ll do a Bruni Voice!” he threatened.

She poked her head out the door with a scowl. “Don’t. You. Dare.”

“Oh, I will!” he warned.

“UGH!” She slammed the door and proceeded to ready herself for a shower.

Honestly, she didn’t even remember if she did that after coming home the night before.

“Oh Bruni!” she heard Kristoff call from the other side.

“Kristoff. Drop it.”

“Oh there you are!”

“No. No. I am _not_ about to hear this!”

She turned on the water, hoping to blast it as loud as it could go so she could drown out Kristoff.

And what was he probably doing right now but leaning up against the bathroom door with Bruni in his lap.

Of course Elsa could still hear every goddamn word he was saying.

“Hey Bruni, how are you doing today?”

“Kristoff.”

His voice returned, but this time in a bit of a higher pitch. Decidedly different from his Sven Voice, but just quirky enough to make it sound as though it could have belonged to Bruni.

_“Oh hi Kristoff!”_

“Oh my god it burns!”

“So what’ve you been up to, little guy?”

_“Oh, the usual. I licked my eyeball again.”_

“Really? What does eyeball even taste like?”

_“I don’t know. I just like doing it.”_

“Shut it!”

“Yeah, I hear you. I like doing stuff for the hell of it, too.”

“Ok you really need to stop using that language in front of him.”

_“It’s ok. I hear crap all the time.”_

“Bruni, knock it…. I mean, Kristoff, knock it off!”

_“Oh yeah, I hear lotsa colorful language from everyone who walks by. Sometimes I like to repeat it when I want food.”_

“Whoa, I feel you, there, buddy. I try not to say anything in front of Sven either but, man, you just can’t get anything past that dog.”

“You’re making it sound as though I curse in front of him.”

_“She doesn’t like to admit she curses a lot.”_

Kristoff let out a laugh. “I know, right?”

“Oh for the love of….”

“Oh hey Bruni, Elsa tells me you also like to lick your nose now?”

_“Yeah. It tastes good.”_

“Kristoff!”

_“Sometimes I like to swallow my own snot!”_

“Will you shut the fuck up already!”

\---

Elsa and Kristoff sat on opposite ends of the couch. Elsa leaned up against one arm, legs up against her chest, wet hair tied in a tight bun, cheeks puffed out, and an icy glare in Kristoff’s direction. Kristoff kept one elbow propped against the arm of the couch while his other arm lay across the top. He kept a simple gaze, as if Elsa’s icy stare had no effect on him. Bruni, meanwhile, sat directly in the middle between them. The cat panted slightly before moving his tongue up over his nose, pulling it back in, moving it over his nose, and repeating that same motion multiple times. They sat in silence as such for a number of minutes.

“I hate you,” the blonde finally commented.

“I get that all the time when I have to take an animal’s….” He immediately cut himself off. “You know what, I’m not even gonna finish that sentence.”

“Smartest thing you’ve said since you stepped in here,” she deadpanned.

He pouted. “Don’t patronize me.”

Pause.

“So. You’re really not gonna talk about anything at all?”

Elsa pursed her lips. “Nope.”

Another pause.

“So…. Maren is completely off the table, huh?”

“Yup.”

“No discussing her whatsoever.”

“That’s right.”

“You don’t even want me to drop her name in the conversation.”

“Exactly.”

“So it really doesn’t matter anything I say at all because as soon as-”

“Kristoff.”

“Ok, point taken.”

He shifted in the couch, adjusting his position.

Still, Elsa could feel his eyes on her. She slid her legs down so she was sitting more upright. Carefully, she scooped Bruni up from the couch cushion and moved him onto her lap. The creature tilted his head curiously, looking every which way as though he had no idea what was happening. Elsa began gently stroking his back, resulting in massive purrs escaping him. He continued to move his tongue in and out, over his nose and back down, over his nose and back down. Elsa attempted to focus on only the cat, but having Kristoff on the other end proved to be a bit of a challenge. His brown eyes might as well have been staring into her soul.

“So.”

“So.”

Pause.

“What can we talk about?”

“Maybe how you should be going to work right about now.”

“Except then that defeats the purpose of me coming here in the first place.”

Elsa sighed. “Kristoff, I told you. I’m not talking about anything.”

He twisted his lips. “Does…that include yesterday…?”

Full-blown silence.

Kristoff tapped his fingers against his lap. Sighing, he shifted once more. He leaned forward, but actually took his eyes off Elsa for once.

“Ok, look. I’m gonna say just one thing and then I’m gonna drop it. But only if you let me actually finish.”

What were the odds he actually would shut up after that?

Unfortunately, despite being more alert now Elsa still lacked the energy to actually argue with him.

“Very well,” she conceded.

“I’m not saying you have to talk to Maren. About anything. You don’t have to tell her about you, you don’t have to confess anything. That’s on your terms,” he began. “But…. You really should tell Anna. She’s your sister. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask you to tell her if you’re uncomfortable. But I really don’t like keeping secrets from her. Especially ones about you. She’d do anything for you, Elsa. And…regardless of whatever you’re thinking or going through, no matter how much or how little she understands…she just wants to be there for you. And all this stuff…. She needs to hear it from you. Not me. And I don’t wanna take the chance of that happening.”

He was right.

She hated to admit it in any capacity, especially that quickly.

But he was absolutely right.

Even if Kristoff did find out by accident, it wasn’t fair to ask him to keep Elsa’s secret. Despite that Elsa didn’t want or need any teasing from Anna and that she knew she was going to get that no matter what…. She still had to let her sister know what was going on with her. She had to talk to someone about it. Simply being out to a select few people wasn’t enough if she wasn’t going to discuss anything. Likewise, admitting to no one except Kristoff and herself how she felt about Maren was only going to drive her crazier. And she was going to grow more stressed and confused over it. And the worse that got, the more her friendship would be affected.

Elsa couldn’t risk losing that.

Even if it felt like she already had.

Elsa sighed. “I…I don’t think she handled it well….” She spoke almost inaudibly.

Kristoff raised an eyebrow. “Who her?”

Pause.

“…Maren….”

There was the quietest ‘oh’ from Kristoff but nothing more right away.

Another pause.

“Care to expand…?”

Elsa held her breath. “I’d rather not….”

Kristoff clicked his tongue. “Oh…kay….” He obviously didn’t want to force anything out of Elsa, but knew enough that she had to say something on some level. And as such, he had to choose his next words carefully. “Is…there anything you can tell me…?”

What was she supposed to say? That she broke down? That a customer completely shattered her over a stupid series of comments on the one day Elsa couldn’t stand to have anything to do with them? That she completely disregarded her responsibilities and let down her coworkers by locking herself in the cash office for who knows how long?

Elsa estimated a good couple of hours, but knowing her that was an exaggeration.

That she continued to avoid her coworkers? That she pushed away the supportive and helpful advances of both Maren and Snow? That she allowed herself to be completely broken in front of them? That she still somehow found a way to fawn over Maren even in one of her darkest hours? That she actually reached out to her, she made the effort to run to Maren like she suggested and Maren’s response was just to…to….

To run in the other direction.

Of course it was too good to be true.

Why the hell should Maren have stuck around for her anyway?

Elsa was a wreck. She had too much baggage. She let Maren in on bits and pieces of her messed up life, her messed up self…. And when Maren finally saw so much of it laid out in front of her…. It was too much. So she left.

Elsa sighed. She spoke in barely above a whisper. “She ran….”

He quirked his eyebrow in thought. “So.... Is this about yesterday…?”

She closed her eyes, forcing out a confirmation. “I tried to take a step…. And…. And she ran.”

She knew Kristoff could pick up on her disappointment and hurt on the situation. It was bad enough that Elsa made an effort, even if it was in the simplest form of taking Maren’s hand. But the fact that it was on that day…. It made it even worse. So Krisotff had to be sure to choose his words carefully; to make sure he understood without forcing too much out of Elsa.

“So…. You did a thing…. It felt like a big deal to you….”

“And she ran.”

He gave a nod.

Another pause.

“You…you gotta remember, Elsa…. You were in a pretty bad spot. Maybe…I don’t know…maybe she didn’t want to take it the wrong way.”

“Maybe I came on too strong…”

“You?” he laughed. “Too strong?”

Elsa scowled.

Kristoff quickly cleared his throat. “S…sorry. That was wrong.”

Pause.

“Are you sure this isn’t something you wanna talk to Anna about? She’s…” he paused to think of the right description, one that was better suited for that statement only and not meant as a way to further urge Elsa to actually talk to her, “… _way_ better at reading people than I am.”

“I…I haven’t told Anna anything yet…. And…and I’d rather not….” she confessed.

Pause again.

“You…you really should, though.”

She scoffed faintly. “I am not getting her hopes up.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Her hopes? Or…your hopes?”

Pause.

“I know this is unknown territory for you. I get it,” he acknowledged. “But…believe it or not, this isn’t even just a queer person problem. This is a normal people problem.”

Elsa scoffed. “Normal? What in my life has been normal? Always knowing that I liked girls but not understanding why I didn’t want them? Why I was never interested in dating or relationships when it was all anyone else around me could talk about? Having a cat as my therapist and my best friend because I had no one else to talk to? Having to constantly think and worry about every single move I made or thing I said because god forbid I did the wrong thing in front of one of my father’s clients? Always being in the spotlight somehow? Knowing I was going to have to take control of a company I never wanted? My parents’ deaths weren’t even normal! I couldn’t just plan the funeral and be done with it, I had to be haunted by that lawsuit and knowing that I was the one at fault anyway but I was still expected to fight it….”

She didn’t even realize that the more she went on, the higher her voice went and the more agitated, frustrated, and hurt it became. She could feel herself spiraling as she continued yet didn’t even fight it or do anything about it. She let the negativity consume her. And surely it would have continued to do so had Kristoff not reached out to her.

“Elsa!”

His hand slammed onto her shoulder, causing the blonde to flinch and cut herself off. Bruni rolled off her lap in a complete daze, yet somehow still landed perfectly on his feet and walked away from the couch as though nothing had happened. Elsa froze in her place, letting out huffed breaths even as she listened to Kristoff speak.

“You have _got_ to stop doing that!” he insisted. “You’re blaming yourself for something you had nothing to do with. You weren’t in the car. You weren’t the one driving.”

“But if I hadn’t picked that moment….”

“If you didn’t say anything then, you would have said it another day. For all you know he still would’ve found something to be pissed about. Something else could have brought it on. It’s. Not. Your. Fault.”

Elsa threw her head back. She was aiming to hit the back of the couch but she missed and hit the wall. Whether it didn’t faze her because of her bun or because she was already feeling numb, she had no idea. Her breathing became heavier and her clenched fist found its way to her forehead. Her chest heaved rapidly as she tried desperately to fight the tears that were threatening to fall.

She’d heard it so many times. Everyone could tell her that all they wanted. But it didn’t change anything. It never made Elsa feel any better. It didn’t ease the pain. It didn’t erase the guilt. Why the hell did she pick that morning, that moment, of all times to tell her father? If he reacted that badly, bad enough to…. How the hell could anyone else accept Elsa? How the hell could she _deserve_ for anyone to accept her? Her own parents didn’t understand. They reacted so negatively. So negatively it resulted in their deaths. Why the hell should Elsa even try?

And yet, at the lowest of her low points, on the one day where she couldn’t possibly feel any worse, Maren was still there to try to make it better. Somehow, even when Elsa was at her darkest point, Maren still saw her as such a light. She still looked at her as Angel. She still called her Angel.

What a beautiful lie it was. Elsa didn’t deserve that name. At first it made her feel so good. So special. Almost as if….

But on that day? No. She was no angel. She might as well have been a monster.

She wasn’t pure. She wasn’t innocent. She didn’t deserve such a beautiful name.

If only Maren knew.

But it was best she didn’t know any of it.

Falling for Maren was so fucking pointless.

The tears finally came. She let it out. The pain. The fears. The guilt. All of it.

She felt herself be pulled to the side slightly. Elsa didn’t fight it. Her head landed against Kristoff’s shoulder and she continued to let it loose. His arm was draped loosely around her and she could barely feel his hand around her shoulder. The only inkling she had of its presence was the light caressing of one of his fingers. He gave her plenty of room, plenty of chances, to pull back if she so desired. But Elsa didn’t have the strength to. She just needed to let it out. She thought everything escaped her system the day before, in the cash office. Even when she was in the break room. But now…it all came flooding back.

She felt Kristoff shuffle slightly. She heard him whisper something. But even with her being on top of him, his voice sounded so distant. As if it even matter what he said. There wasn’t anything that anyone could say or do to make things better. There was nothing anyone could say or do to change the past. And there was nothing anyone could say or do to make Elsa feel totally and completely all right with herself. She just felt…. Broken.

But somehow, the one person to always make her believe otherwise found her way back.

“Elsa…?”

The blonde sniffed. “Ah…. Anna…?”

“It’s me. I’m here.”

Her voice was soft. Somewhat distant. Almost…muddled?

Elsa’s eyes opened just slightly. Her vision was still very much blurry, but somehow she was able to make out the phone in front of her.

Oh.

Kristoff’s phone.

He must have called Anna.

She was on speaker.

No wonder her voice sounded so faint. The speaker option on Kristoff’s phone was horrendous.

Elsa exhaled again. How was it that even when she was at the lowest point she could possibly get to, Anna was always there? It didn’t matter where she was, what she was doing, or even how she was feeling. The second Elsa broke Anna was there. One way or another. Elsa just wished she could be a fucking mature adult and stop crying so she could say something remotely coherent.

“A…An…na….”

“I’m here,” she repeated softly.

Elsa shook her head. Somehow, only a few select, choked words managed to escape her. “I…I’m so sorry….”

There were a few more huffed breaths. No response from Anna right away. Thank god Elsa couldn’t see her sister’s distraught face. Elsa was never able to live with herself knowing her pain caused Anna even more.

“Do you need me to come over?”

It was the simplest question possible. A yes or no answer. Most times, Elsa wanted to say no. She never wanted Anna to feel obligated to come to her. Elsa was the older sister; it was supposed to be the other way around. Yet whether it was panic attacks, breakdowns, or a plain shitty shift, Anna never faltered. All Elsa had to do was say the word and Anna was there.

What Elsa wouldn’t have given to not need her sister for once. To actually be the adult and handle everything on her own the way she was supposed to. Maybe if Elsa had been able to get her shit together she wouldn’t need to rely on Anna as much. If Elsa could just accept herself, be out and open, and make positive affirmations in her life then she could find someone to lean on besides her sister. She wouldn’t have to constantly tear Anna away from her own life.

So much for that.

Because as soon as the question escaped Anna, Elsa could only answer selfishly through her despair.

“Yes…. Please….”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so that definitely was NOT like the previous chapter, but there's still a lot happening here. In the story and in Elsa's mind. So let's lighten up the mood with the positives.
> 
> Kristoff doing Bruni's voice and having that conversation with him, i originally wrote it as kind of like a joke, something that might happen or maybe not happen. But when i closed my eyes and thought about the next right thing for Elsa, i realized she had to talk to someone on some level. And the two people she trusts most in the world are Anna and Kristoff. But Elsa being Elsa, she's gonna do whatever it takes not to put her problems on Anna. And Kristoff is Best Supportive Friend Forever/Insert Official Title here so of course he'd make it a point to check on Elsa. And that was kinda how his 'conversation' with Bruni fell in here which i kept laughing every time i read it and i'm not sure what was more entertaining, the conversation, or Elsa's reactions in between. So please, talk about that as much as you want lol!
> 
> The way the scene naturally progressed from Kristoff suggesting Elsa talk to Anna to him annoying her with his Bruni Voice to her glaring at him from across the couch felt very natural and almost sibling-esque to me, because they are comfortable enough to go from being supportive or understanding to wanting to rip each others' heads off. And i think that comfort between them was ultimately what encouraged Elsa to say something. This was never going to be an info dump of a chapter; that's why we're only given bits and pieces explaining why Elsa feels the way she does, why she is so overwhelmed, and what's really eating away at her. She doesn't need to go into detail with Kristoff partially because they're both introverts and partially because anything she did feel comfortable telling him, for the most part he already knows. And Kristoff knows that not only is there only so much he can keep from Anna, especially when it comes to Elsa, but he knows at the end of the day he can only do so much. It was never his intention to bring Anna over to push forward Elsa's sharing, he just knew that in that moment Elsa needed her sister more than anything.
> 
> As far as the dream goes, i was originally just going to open up with Kristoff going to Elsa, but having that sequence there as a lead in, i hope anyway, helped on some level. So it starts to give us an idea what's going through her head and what's eating at her. And, i know i said these characters curse WAY more than i ever do, but i felt i had to censor the f word here because that is on a list of words no one should see, read, or hear. But unfortunately it does exist and people have dealt with it. But in narrative or character or whatever, i will personally never actually type out that word.
> 
> This chapter did help me in writing, i believe the next two chapters, which, as much as it does prolong the particular chapter i've been struggling with, it was likely for the best to allow more time to and for the characters and because, in the grand scheme of things, there were/are a few more things Elsa and Maren - especially the former - need to deal with before getting together. i'm hoping i can get back into the zone and finish that trouble chapter but in the meantime, i was able to brainstorm some ideas i've been thinking about/may want to include in this story/universe at some point whenever that may be. Just ideas, absolutely nothing set in stone yet. So with that said, i would also like to open the floor to you guys. i have tried to incorporate some of your ideas/hopes in the past, at least on some level, whether accidental or on purpose. Maybe it's partially for my own inspiration, maybe it's also my way of finding out not only how i can make this the best story possible for you guys, but find out what may be missing in the form of character(s), potential development, plot holes, etc. That doesn't mean every suggestion will be included, but i am definitely open to hear thoughts and opinions (as long as they're polite, of course, and you guys have been amazing with that). So, as i leave you guys on this emotional cliffhanger, is there anything in particular you want/hope to see at any point in the future?
> 
> The weather may have caused this update to be much later than intended, but as long as i have a say, the next chapter will definitely be up early next week! i'll be on register or guarding the kingdom of self scan until then.... And yes, that (as well as a piece of crap) are exactly what i call self scan!


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope everyone got through that damn hurricane alright! Things are picking up here again, even though there's still messes to be cleaned. My area was NOT prepared at all. But everything is good now, for the most part! i'm sure the last chapter with its continued heaviness was not the best distraction (except for maybe Cat Bruni and IceBros i hope?) so, i dunno, i guess i apologize if that's why it didn't go over well because it was still so heavy when there's already been so much heaviness? i don't know, i just feel like i need to apologize for something lol. But on the bright side for me, that means it's much easier to respond to the comments right here. So let's dive in!  
> @LethyMay - i know right! Kristoff and Elsa are totally best bros ever! They're amazing together.  
> @holographicbubbles - Is my fic really THAT long? :O As to how i have so many words it's either i have no idea when the hell to shut up, i have a constant need to overexplain everything no matter what, or that i have no idea how to write anything short to the point that even when i have laryngitis and have to communicate through writing my mom asks if i'm writing a novel with how long it takes me to answer her 0.0  
> @fanficfruitts - I'M SORRY I DIDN'T MEAN TO ACTUALLY MAKE YOU CRY! Don't worry, i promise this chapter gets better and...ok there's still heaviness in the story but for the most part it's not THAT bad again! i think....  
> @RobinPercher - i think that was my main goal with figuring out how much info to give last chapter. Elsa and Kristoff both being introverts and not really sharing too much, it definitely felt like a less is more compared to say, if she were talking to Anna. And as much as i probably do overshare or overdo it in the narrative on any level, it's totally different to do it with the actual dialogue. So i'm glad that worked out favorably. i'm not gonna say there is more to Iduna and Agnarr's passing, because that's also treading semi-difficult territory for me and i have to figure out how to translate that into writing, but from specifically Elsa's POV there's a lot to digest and live with and just deal with in general. But i am glad you noticed that there is a connection there between their passing and her complications about her orientation. i hope i haven't overtly stated it or made it blatantly obvious, but that is absolutely an obstacle Elsa needs to overcome on some level. And it's also very valid to have trauma linked to someone's orientation in some way; in Elsa's case it happens to be...i don't wanna say internalized ace/homophobia...but there is definitely a lot of negativity there. And if it helps at all, not that i enjoy writing these characters suffering at all, but on some level i do just because i can project the things i'm dealing or struggling with onto them, see how they cope with it and how it affects them.... i don't wanna say there's something almost therapeutic about it, but it has definitely helped my sanity (which i'm told is an actual word) in having them go through things with me or maybe even making things worse for them so i can feel somewhat better about my crappy life. Also thank you for pointing out that paragraph because i'm now seeing a typo in there i missed after like FIVE TIMES OF REREADING BEFORE POSTING IT BECAUSE WHAT THE HELL. But also, yes, the irony of that is very real and maybe also encourages more of the "Elsa you idiot" line lol.
> 
> Ok, this is probably gonna be the only update again this week. Partially because i still have some catching up to do with writing and partially because i'm short on hours for the week even though it's the week two of my friends are off so coordinated Zoom chats or something but i'm still entitled to more hours that i'm not being given so that's gonna be fun to try and pull another shift for me outta someone's.... Ok yeah, i'm gonna stop there. i just need my hours, ok? XD Anyway, have another chapter now!

Nights off were meant to be relaxing. They were supposed to involve no schedules, no leaving the house, maybe do some damn cleaning, binge watch some Avatar the Last Airbender….

Not like Maren would have been able to focus on any of that anyway. She was trying so damn hard not to think about Elsa.

Maren played the night before over and over in her head again. Watching Elsa’s sudden reaction from that damn bitch. Watching her try and try to push both Maren and Snow away. Watching her stand before them just…shattered. Almost giving the impression that…that she wasn’t worth it somehow. She didn’t want to hear anything from either of them. She hesitated to accept a hug from Snow. She didn’t want Maren to call her Angel. Despite the fact that it was her name.

But then she reached for Maren’s hand…. She _held_ Maren’s hand….

And Maren felt it.

Elsa cared immensely.

Elsa cared beyond words.

Elsa cared about and appreciated them so fucking much that she actually willed herself to….

How much effort that must have taken from Elsa. Not even just for being Elsa, but in that specific moment on that specific day. It must have taken every fraction she could muster.

And Maren just left her there.

But if she didn’t…. If she stayed…. If she allowed herself to meet Elsa’s eyes fully….

She would have kissed her.

She would have absolutely kissed Elsa on the spot.

But that wasn’t what Elsa wanted or needed in that moment. Hell, that would have been the last logical thing to do. No matter how much Maren wanted to.

Snow was right.

Maren was in love with Elsa.

God, when did her life become so damn difficult?

If only she knew what was worse – staying home and explaining everything to Ryder, or going in on her night off.

If she stayed home, she was obviously going to have to talk.

If she went into work, she was going to have to see Elsa and face the consequences.

So much for a relaxing night off. It was lose/lose regardless.

If only Nani wasn’t so damn persuasive, Maren might as well have ended up staying in. Instead she caved and went in at three-thirty.

Three would have been preferable, Nani had said, but she gladly took whatever help she could get. She didn’t specify how late she’d need Maren until; only that there was a callout.

Once Maren made it in, Nani made a dash from self scan to clock Maren in manually and then handed her the self scan card.

“All yours, Casanova.”

Maren blinked. “Wait, what?” She shook her head and held out a hand to get Nani’s attention. “Hold up, why am I covering self scan?”

Nani adjusted her mask and turned to face her coworker. “I gotta run the front. Elsa called out.”

Maren’s eyes widened. Elsa? Elsa called out? Elsa? Queen Elsa of Retail? Queen Elsa of Self Scan? Snow Queen Elsa? Elsa who’s been working every day nonstop since the pandemic started and hasn’t taken a damn day to herself Elsa? Elsa who practically lived in Oaken’s Elsa? Elsa and in Angel Elsa?

“Wait, WHAT??” the brunette gasped.

\---

The shift had gone by in a blur. Maren had been getting to the point where she could pick out the specific customer horror stories that just made her want to scream into the unknown. Self scan customers had proven to be no different from ones at the register save for the fact that everything was the same.

Why aren’t the sales coming off?

How do I do the produce?

Why isn’t this scanning?

This was supposed to be free.

Why isn’t it accepting my coupon?

What about the damn sales?

Can’t you come over and help me?

And yet even those repetitions had little effect on Maren this particular evening.

She couldn’t help but keep looking over her shoulder, wondering if Elsa was going to magically show up. Maybe she changed her mind and only needed to come in late. Maybe she’d still come in and buy something, a box of Cocoa Puffs or a bag of m&m’s. Maybe she’d just want to see how everyone was doing. Maybe she’d just want to show everyone that she really was ok.

But no such luck.

Elsa was out of sight though, unfortunately, far from out of mind.

And the way that Nani commanded the front end was absolutely nothing compared to Elsa. That woman ran a tight ship. Whether it was the first time in forever Nani had to cover entirely; that it was in the middle of a pandemic; or that she was trying vigorously to be on top of everyone and everything, Maren could not say for sure.

It wasn’t that Nani had any less control than Elsa or that she was doing a questionable job.

Elsa walked a fine line. She did anything and everything she could to assist her coworkers, but if it were at all possible to stay back, she absolutely would. There was this…heart about her. Despite the fact that Elsa was someone who concealed so much, who kept her distance, and kept herself so separate from everyone else, somehow her heart always shone through.

Nani took bullshit from nothing and no one. She was not afraid to tell someone off or let a customer know they were wrong. Whether it was with something as simple as misreading a sale sign or arguing with them about using an expired coupon. Nani tried to be everywhere at once, not comfortable with simply sticking to behind customer service unless her assistance was required there or it was slow. Maren knew from pretty much the first night that Nani was a no-nonsense kind of woman; this was absolute proof of that.

If only it had been enough to take Maren’s mind off of Elsa.

Evidently, the same could be said for Snow and Ella. Because as soon as the last customer was out the door and Nani locked the entrance, the three of them confronted her.

As if she seemed to know exactly where this was going, Nani deadpanned her coworkers. “Aye. I’m not having this conversation right now.” She attempted to walk away from them, but ultimately failed. Snow trailed right behind her while Maren took up the rear.

“Nani please,” Snow begged.

“Isn’t there something we can do? This isn’t like Elsa. Is it because of that customer yesterday?” Ella asked.

“Was it something any of us said?” Snow added.

Maren couldn’t bear to interject. Part of her felt guilty, as if she played a part in Elsa not showing up.

It was because she ditched her, wasn’t it?

Maren let her damn emotions get the better of her and instead of fighting them off and doing what was best for Elsa, she left her altogether. After promising she’d be there. After saying she could run to her if she needed. After all that….

But she let Elsa down.

She messed everything up. Again.

What right did she have to be worried about her?

Nani held up her hands. “I think you all are being a bit lōlō here. Just give the woman some space.”

“Can’t we just call her? For five minutes? Let her know we’re thinking about her?” Snow pleaded.

“I would like to apologize for yesterday, if I may,” Ella added.

“We just want to do something, Nani. Please,” Snow said.

Nani folded her arms. She raised an eyebrow, eyeing each girl carefully. Maren didn’t need to turn her head to see how they were looking. Snow was probably keeping that pleading face, almost akin to a sad puppy dog look. Probably being as sweet and adorable as she always was. Ella was probably being so damn patient…seriously how did she keep up that rouse even outside of work? Knowing Ella, she’d probably ultimately accept whatever decision Nani thought best but she’d still want to do something for Elsa somehow. Whether it was offer her words of encouragement or just be the kind girl that she was.

But then Maren felt Nani’s eyes on her. And boy, was it a hell of a lot different from how she imagined her looking at Snow and Ella!

Nani’s gaze felt almost judgmental. Like she was studying Maren. Like she could tell the wheels in her head were turning. Like she knew something was off. Like she was debating whether to tease Maren, to berate her, or to simply comment.

Of course she didn’t mean berate in a condescending manner. It would just be Nani’s way of trying to give her a piece of her mind.

Not that it made it any better.

Finally, the Hawaiian clicked her tongue. “You’re not gonna chime in there, Casanova?”

Maren pulled in her lips. There was no right answer and she knew it. If she kept quiet it would seem like she didn’t care; or that she was hiding something. If she spoke, she risked revealing everything. She couldn’t do that to Elsa. To have everyone talk behind her back like she and Maren were some sort of thing. To start teasing Elsa about a nonexistent relationship. Let alone about one she probably didn’t even want.

Finally, after a minute, Maren let out a defeated sigh. “What do you want me to say?”

Nani folded her arms and tapped her fingers against them. She was deep in thought, almost as if she were unsure what the right response was. But even from the corner of Maren’s eyes, she could see that there was no hesitation or conflict in Nani’s face. Just…. Staring.

God, could she stop with that damn stare already??

Finally, and perhaps unexpectedly, she gave the most obvious answer.

“How about that we care?”

Ella was next. “How about that we support her?”

“How about…” Snow paused, “…that we love her?”

Oh fuck.

Really, Snow?

That again?

Was that a general statement or some attempt to get Maren to confess in front of everyone?

Knowing Snow, it was likely the former. The girl didn’t have a manipulative bone in her body. Still, it could have very well been the chance for someone to get Maren to just open up. All Maren had to do was confirm. And it might as well have all been over.

But all Maren could do was keep her gaze as far away from theirs as possible and clench her hands at her sides like a statue.

“We do, don’t we?”

Surprisingly, the response came from Nani of all people.

It was enough to get all of them to face her again.

Groaning, the woman reluctantly pulled her cell phone from her jeans pocket. “Aye, Snow, what the hell are we gonna do with you?” Nani dialed Elsa’s number and then set it to speaker. Maren couldn’t help take a step back in anticipation, wondering how this was going to play out. It was a deep contrast to the relief that washed over Ella’s face as well as the pure joy radiating from Snow.

One ring.

Two rings.

Three rings.

Maybe Elsa wouldn’t answer. Maybe she really did want to be alone. Actually, come to think of it, it would be a hell of a lot easier if she just….

“Hello…?”

Dammit.

“Way to check on your kingdom, Snow Queen,” Nani teased.

“N…Nani…? What…?” Elsa sounded completely astonished to hear from anyone.

Or maybe it was just Nani.

“I got a captive audience here for you,” Nani chuckled. “Oaken’s is still standing, by the way. I haven’t set it on fire…. Yet.”

“Yet,” Elsa repeated though slightly deadpanned.

“Oh, no need to worry. Nani’s been amazing today,” Ella promised.

“But we did miss you. How are you feeling?” Snow asked.

“Are you all right?” Ella asked.

“Did you get any sleep?”

“Is there something we can do?”

“Have you had any chocolate?”

“What if…?”

“Ok, ok, chill, all of you. Let the woman breathe,” Nani attempted to control the girls. She lightly rolled her eyes and teased to her usual supervisor, “Translation – they’re sick of me already and want you to take the throne back.”

“Nani!” Snow and Ella gasped in unison.

Well they wouldn’t be wrong, Maren thought to herself.

But she didn’t dare speak.

There was a pause on Elsa’s end, likely her still taking everything in. “You…you all absolutely did not have to do this.”

“But we wanted to,” Snow took a step forward. “It wasn’t the same without you tonight. I missed my sister.”

“We all did,” Ella chimed in.

Nani groaned. “Oh for the love of….” She shoved her phone in Snow’s hand. “Just take the damn phone already. I didn’t ask for this much sap.”

“Oh…Nani’s just…” Ella tried to start.

“I know. I’d be concerned if she wasn’t,” Elsa confessed.

Snow’s brows tilted. “Are you feeling a little better today at all?”

There was a pause.

“A little…actually,” Elsa admitted after some hesitation.

Snow sighed with relief. “I’m glad. I can buy you some Sno-caps if you want.”

“There’s no need for that. But thank you,” Elsa said.

“Well then…” it was Snow’s turn to pause, “…if it’s all right…when you come back…. Oh! And when you want to…may I please give you another hug?”

“Snow…” the blonde’s breath almost sounded hitched at the question, as if she were actually feeling rather than concealing for once.

Even if it was only over the phone, it was still progress.

“I know there isn’t much I can do. I just don’t want you to be sad,” the teen explained. “And if you’d rather just talk a little…. Maybe we can be sad together?”

Another pause.

“Is this about…?” She sighed. Elsa couldn’t seem to bring herself to say it. “You want to talk about it, too, don’t you?”

“Maybe…a little…” Snow admitted.

Pause again.

“I…I think we can do that,” she agreed.

“I wish I could offer you the same,” Ella commented sadly.

“You do plenty,” Elsa promised.

Ella bit her bottom lip. “I just…. I hope you know how much you mean to us. And how much we admire you. We want you to be ok, Elsa. And if that means you need another night off or even a week off…. We’ll be here waiting for you. With all due respect to Nani, you make coming in every night absolutely worth it. We wouldn’t have the comfort or even the store without you. We just hope you don’t forget that.”

“Ella…” Elsa exhaled. Once again it sounded as though she was at a loss for words. “I…. Thank you.”

Ella offered a small smile. “I promise I won’t bring up last night again if you don’t want me to. But, I’d just like to share that I did tell my mice the story. I’d never seen Jaq run so much on his wheel before. It was the first night in a while he didn’t try to break out of the cage. I think he’s trying to buff himself up to punch someone.”

Was that really necessary, Maren thought?

Ella shrugged. “I could try taking a picture if he does that again, if you’d like.”

“I think I would,” Elsa agreed.

“We miss you, Elsa. Love you,” Snow said.

Did anyone else want to make a comment as though Maren wasn’t in the room with them?

She was probably allowing herself to get too anxious about it, but it was certainly starting to sound like the two of them were heavily implying it wasn’t just them speaking.

Maren could speak for herself to Elsa.

If she wanted to.

If she even know what to say.

If they’d give her the phone.

But if they didn’t maybe that was ok, too.

Or maybe not.

What was the right answer supposed to be?

“Ok you two, sap fest is officially over,” Nani decided. She took the phone from Snow and gestured to her, and then to Ella. “Snow, get the coolers done before you clock out for the night. Ella, throwback duty.”

“Good night, Elsa,” the girls said unison before walking to their respective assignments.

That left only one.

Oh shit.

Maren knew exactly where this was going.

She could feel Nani’s smirk seeping through her already.

Maren froze in place.

Don’t come any closer, don’t come any closer….

No, don’t hold out the phone!

What the hell was she even supposed to say?

“As for you,” Nani grinned playfully, “take your fifteen.” She set her phone in Maren’s hand. “Oh, and whatever you do, don’t get too many of your Casanova germs on it. Kay?”

“NANI!” Maren yelled after her coworker.

Casanova germs?

What the hell was that even supposed to mean?

Was that supposed to be snarky?

Or was that just a lame comeback?

Or did she just know anything would get to Maren at the moment?

Dammit Nani!

What she wouldn’t have give to strangle that woman.

Or hit her with a pack of soda cans.

Or actually punch her.

Maren clenched the first of her free hand, threw both up in the air, and then proceeded to hit herself on the head with both. Of course, then she realized she was actually still holding Nani’s phone.

Shit.

Taking a pause, Maren took the phone off speaker and slowly placed it to her ear.

“Uh…h…. How much of that did you hear…?” she asked tentatively.

Pause.

“A…. A little….”

Her voice was so small. Different compared to her surprised reactions from the others. But then again, should Maren have expected anything else? Of course Elsa probably didn’t want to speak to her for long. After last night…. Ugh, Maren really did screw up.

“I’m sorry about…” Maren started.

“It’s ok,” she spoke quickly. “You…you don’t have to apologize. It’s just…. It’s Nani.”

“No…. I mean, I mean I know. A…about Nani. And…and yeah, I am sorry…. A…about her, I mean. But…but I’m also sorry about me, too….” Maren attempted to keep herself together between stammers, however it didn’t seem to be working too well. If Maren were going to get out a proper apology, one Elsa would actually remotely listen to; she was going to have to do it swiftly. She took a deep breath before getting out as much as she could at once. “I’msorryaboutlastnightandI’msorryaboutwhatyouwentthroughIshould’venevergottenthatcustomeritwasthewrongthingtodoandIwishtherecould’vebeenmoretodobutItotallyscrewedupandIdidn’tmeantohurtyourfeelingsandI’mreallysorryandIhope…”

“Maren! Maren!” Elsa gasped. “S…slow down…. Please.”

Maren exhaled. God why was this so difficult? And why did Elsa have to sound almost…clueless?

Not that she could have if she tried.

Not that it would have matter what she sounded like.

Elsa sounded adorable no matter what.

No. No. That wasn’t the point.

Get it together, Maren.

“I….” she gulped. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry…. About last night.”

There was a pause before Elsa sighed. “You’re not the one who needs to apologize.”

Maren shook her head. “Yes I am.”

“You are not the one at fault, Maren. I’m sorry I made you feel like you had to leave,” Elsa replied.

“Elsa you didn’t…. You never….” Maren threw her head back. How the hell could that woman find a way to make everything her fault? The way she so effortlessly went from praising someone to tearing herself down…. No. No, she couldn’t keep doing that. Maren wasn’t going to let her. “You were completely within your rights. About everything. What you said, how you reacted, what you were doing…. You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who screwed up by leaving.”

“But you wouldn’t have had to do that if you weren’t uncomfortable with me,” she confessed.

Maren’s heart sank. Was that really what Elsa thought of her? Was that the impression she gave off? God, how could she have been such a douche?

“Angel I could never….” She started, but cut herself off. Maren mentally scolded herself.

Elsa didn’t want to hear that name.

Not last night.

And not now.

Maren promised no Angel until next clock in.

Only one of them was clocked in.

So she had to refrain just a little longer.

Maren let out a quiet exhale. “Elsa you are one of the last people to make me uncomfortable. You’ve never done anything to make me feel otherwise. I just….”

She just what? Felt herself melting into two gorgeous puddles of blue? Felt like her heart was going a hundred miles an hour being that close to Elsa? Couldn’t begin to describe the warmth, let alone honor, of Elsa reaching out to her in even the smallest capacity? Was about two seconds away from kissing her? Knowing that, if she did, it would mean destroying everything she and Elsa worked towards? The friendship and trust they formed over the last month – seriously it had only been about a month?? – Would be completely thrown out the window just because Maren had no self control? Knowing that such a simple move would mean Elsa could never face her again?

No.

They weren’t worth that risk.

Elsa wasn’t worth that risk.

Maren could keep it under control.

If it meant keeping Elsa…. She would do whatever it took.

Maren leaned up against the locked entrance, gently pushing her head against the glass. Her hat tilted slightly, falling out of its usual place. She paid no mind to the way her thick braid bumped up against her back and was probably starting to loosen as a result.

“I…I didn’t wanna push you. I know how you are about getting close to people and….” She sighed. “I just didn’t want you to feel obligated. Or…. I don’t know…. Like I was forcing you on me somehow. I…I didn’t wanna put too much on you so I thought…. I thought it was better if I left.”

Pause.

Elsa’s voice returned softly. “So…. It wasn’t because-?”

Maren wasn’t going to give her a chance to finish the question. “I’m here, Elsa. I meant it when you were talking about your cats. I meant it last night. I mean it now.”

There was another pause. It lasted much longer that time. Maren had no idea what to make of it. Elsa had every right to not believe Maren. She should have very well been hesitant about it. But it didn’t change how nerve wracking it was. Maren didn’t want to go back to how things were before she met Elsa. She didn’t want it to go back to how things were in the beginning. Just…seeing Elsa as her supervisor who happened to be a goddess. Or, or whatever the hell they were in the beginning. Maren couldn’t even remember anymore. That was how foreign it was to her, for her and Elsa to seem any different than they were now. Going back…. It might as well have meant losing her. Unless…unless it was what Elsa wanted…. Then Maren would do it…. But she didn’t….

There was the faintest breath from the other end. Whether it was simply a breath or it was a sigh of relief or something else, Maren didn’t know. But it was Elsa’s.

And following that came her gorgeous voice, almost too quiet to hear yet was unmistakably Elsa’s.

“Thank you…. Honey.”

And just like that, Maren’s heart sped again.

She called her Honey.

She called her Honey!

God the sound of that name!

Maren never heard something so relieving her in life.

“Oh…! I…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t…” Elsa began stammering.

Maren’s eyes widened. Was she seriously about to apologize for calling her Honey?

Hell no!

Maren waited too long to hear that name again.

Even if it only had been a couple of nights.

Just because she had to hold back on Angel didn’t mean Elsa had to follow suit.

“No!” the brunette nearly yelled. She rose up her free hand to shake it, and then pulled it into her chest. Quickly, her eyes darted in front of her to make sure no one else came running over. Maren held in a sigh of relief at the silence. “You…you can keep calling me that….” Maren pulled in her lips, fighting the blush that fought its way to her cheeks. “I…. I missed that.”

She could have sworn she heard the softest ‘heh’ escape Elsa.

And just like that Maren felt a weight lifted off her chest. Suddenly it was as if they were sitting across each other from the break room again in a comfortable silence. Neither of them had to say anything. Neither had to do anything. They could just be sitting there. Together. Eating chocolate. Maren closed her eyes gently, almost able to picture it. It was just like their last rendezvous. Elsa in the second half of her lunch break. Maren joined in for hers. They shared chocolate. They talked about Elsa’s cats. Maybe next time they’d talk about something else. Maybe about other animals. Maybe they’d share embarrassing stories about their younger siblings. Or Elsa could tease Maren about her schoolwork. Or Maren could finally get Elsa to sing that chemistry song.

God how she’d love to hear her sing.

For a while it was just the two of them not saying anything. They could hear each other’s light breathing on the other end of the line. It was…calming. It felt like…. Was it too cliché to say home? That somehow Elsa just gave her that feeling?

Maren had no idea what prompted her to break the wonderful silence they shared.

“Hey Elsa…?”

“Yes…?”

Maren tugged her lips to the side.

“Got any more videos of Bruni?”

“Hmm…”

It almost sounded like a hum.

Was it also cliché to think it was beautiful?

“I’m certain I do.”

There came the flutters in Maren’s stomach.

“Maybe…. Next break?”

Pause.

“Cocoa Puffs or m&m’s?”

Both were equally tempting.

“Lady’s choice.”

“I like m&m’s.”

“You got it.”

The comfortable silence fell again.

Unfortunately, this time, it didn’t last as long.

“O…oh! I…I should let you get back….” Elsa realized.

Back…?

Oh shit.

Work.

That crap.

“You sure I can’t get out of it?” Maren attempted to ask innocently.

“You want to try explaining that to Nani?” she inquired.

Maren pouted. “Point taken.” Sighing, she pushed herself away from the door. “So…. Tomorrow? Or…whenever…?”

“Tomorrow,” Elsa answered. “Good night Mar…. Honey.”

“Good night An…. Elsa.”

Reluctantly, Maren pulled the phone away from her ear and allowed her finger to hover over the call end button before ultimately hitting it.

She leaned herself back against the door again. Things were ok again. Things were ok with Elsa.

She was that much closer to having her Angel back.

It was going to be a challenge now, Maren knew that much. It was going to take a hell of a lot for her to keep her shit together.

But Elsa was worth it.

That was all she needed to remind herself of to keep going.

“Ahem.”

Maren’s eyes shot open. Quickly, she straightened her posture and stared wide eyed at a sight she should have very much expected to see.

Barely a few feet in front of her was Nani. Her arms were folded. Body weight leaning towards one side. Raised eyebrow. The biggest smirk she could have possibly smirked planted across her face. Her foot tapped lightly and her head cocked ever so slightly.

Oh shit.

No. Not oh shit.

Oh fuck.

For a moment Maren stood there like a statue, unable to do anything but blink rapidly. She knew Nani was going to say something. Tease. Laugh. Comment. Something. For fuck’s sake, Nani, just come out and say it!

“Well,” the darker woman finally shrugged, “since you went and germed up my phone….” She lunged forward and grabbed Maren’s phone, which was sticking out of her sweat jacket pocket.

“Hey!” Maren gasped. She attempted to jump forward and grab her phone back. However Nani spun around and began typing rapidly. Maren reached around Nani’s side, over her shoulder, even tried to just tug on the back of her work shirt. But the woman wasn’t budging. “Nani…! What are…? Give it back!”

“Nope,” Nani insisted. She turned the other way again, nearly knocking Maren off her balance. The brunette huffed and prepared to pounce onto her coworker. However, before she could, Nani held the phone back out to Maren and managed to swipe her own back in the same motion. “Here.”

Maren blinked. What just happened…?

She raised an eyebrow, staring at Nani. Then at her phone. Then back at Nani. She pursed her lips before taking a giant step back. “What did you do…?”

Nani scoffed and just grinned slyly at her coworker. “Made it so you can flirt on your own phone.” She gave a wave and then headed back towards the registers. “Be back in two, Casanova, you’re on garbages!”

“I was not flirting!” Maren yelled after her instinctively.

Pause.

Wait, what?

Maren blinked. Steadying her gaze at her phone, Maren went to her contacts and scrolled down. At first there was nothing out of the ordinary…same names as usual…. Except then Elsa’s name came up. Maren’s eyes fluttered and a blush all but drowned her face.

Nani gave Maren Elsa’s number.

Oh shit Maren had Elsa’s number!

What was she supposed to do with this?

Should…? Should she call her? Should she text her? Should she tell her she had it? Would any of that be weird? Was it totally weird to just randomly text her boss and say, ‘hey how’s it going by the way Nani gave me your number I hope that’s ok and not at all creepy’?

But….

Maren stared at the name on her screen again.

She had Elsa’s number.

Was that supposed to make her nervous?

Or…. Or more at ease?

Maren felt her face softening.

She had Elsa’s number.

Now she could always know.

She could know when Elsa was ok.

And she could be there.

Maren meant what she said; maybe this was her chance to follow through.

Taking a chance, she clicked the message option. She stared at the keypad on her touch screen, debating what she should text her first.

But, perhaps unsurprisingly, there was only one message that seemed the most fitting.

_Hi Angel._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Ok so i HATED and i mean **HATED** Nani telling Snow she's gonna be the d-ath of them all. i mentioned my discomfort/triggering when it comes to the topic of passings and, yes, fiction and my writing and being in complete control is absolutely one thing. But having Nani use a line that would absolutely make me run and even potentially break down was hard. i tried for a good hour to think of any other possible wording to use for that sentence. And, against my own comfort, i used it because it felt right for her character. i have no idea why i'm oversharing this right now, i guess unless anyone has a better line for her that gets the same point across?
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - i did change that particular sentence to "Aye, Snow, what the hell are we gonna do with you?" i didn't plan on changing it originally but it got to the point where, every time i had to reread for errors and consistency, it felt incredibly uncomfortable at best. So against my own tendencies for not-self-care or whatever, i did make an effort to rewrite that. i toyed with a few ideas but like i said, the original sentence felt very in character for Nani. So i stand by my original statement, if there's any other similar wording/idea that still sounds like something Nani would say and gets the same point across, or if the change works as well feel free to share.]
> 
> Also, side note, yes those are the same questions/comments on repeat at self scan over and over again. So if you ever ask the attendant any of those and we sound annoyed or cut you off in any way when we answer, it's because we hear it all the time, we know what you're asking, and yes, we know exactly what the answer is and what the hell we're talking about.
> 
> Anyway! So this chapter was the first of a few i was struggling to write, because i was trying to figure out that if the next chapter i wanted to use didn't fit in yet or at all, where go from there? So the next thing felt like, ok how is everyone managing without Elsa? And them calling her was semi-inspired by one night during the pandemic, my usual night supervisor was taking off for as long as she could because she's more susceptible. So one night, i don't remember how it happened, but one of us somehow came in possession of a super old coin. And one of my coworkers googled to see how much it was worth and someone online was asking for like over $5000 for it and we're like, what the hell?? Come to find out, the coin was probably more likely around $5 max. So my coworker who was running the front end called my usual supervisor to tell her that story and, while it was slow, we all ended up talking to her for a few minutes. So, surprise, sometimes coworkers do call each other! It shocked me, too.
> 
> As i was trying to write the exchange, a lot of the dialogue especially in the beginning half, was filler. i wasn't sure how much of it was gonna work or felt accurate. But i just kept imagining seeing Elsa's side of the conversation at the same time so i figured, if i can also write it believably from her POV, responses and narration, then i'll keep it. And it turned out to help set up the next chapter as well so from a writer's block standpoint, that worked out very well for me! Hopefully it worked out well from the story point as well. It gave us some Elsamaren back (Elsa brought back Honey, everyone!) so i hope there were some fluffy, feel good moments there and, not that it makes up for the heaviness of the past few chapters but that it also kinda does...? And also MAREN HAS ELSA'S NUMBER! FINALLY!!! The move for that was indirectly inspired by, i think it was a comment from Ravrav way back when, about what if Elsa accidentally butt-dialed Maren and then Maren hears Elsa singing and then it becomes their thing. Not that this is leading to that (maybe. i dunno yet no promises) but it did get me thinking, ok how the hell do these useless queers not have each other's numbers yet! So thank you for the inspiration on that.
> 
> And lastly, yes, Nani's Casanova germs comment was entirely stupid and she knows it but she specifically said it to get under Maren's skin and, no surprise at all, it totally worked! xD
> 
> So like i said, this is the update for the week. i'm hoping i can go back to a regular two chapters a week schedule soon but we'll see how that plays out between work and writer's block. The only bright side is i'm getting a TON of material for retail horror stories. Not necessarily all specific ones, but things that actually do happen in retail and occasionally if not mostly make me lose faith in humanity. Any other faith has been completely thrown out the window, run over, stomped on, set on fire, thrown into a garbage can, set on fire again, and hurdled into the sun thanks to the pandemic. So until next time guys, i'll be stuffing my face with chocolate and doodling Elsa at my register. Hang in there everyone!


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok you guys definitely seemed to enjoy the last chapter WAY more than the ones before lol. It was also something that worked to my advantage because in the end it gave me this chapter plus the next two. Progress! i can't promise that's the end of the heaviness but hopefully in these upcoming chapters it'll at least feel like there's more of a balance. i also would like to say thank you to anyone who actually sits through my long a-s author notes because i know it's a lot. i really didn't expect a lot after last chapter, maybe like one or two suggestions to replace what Nani said and that's it (ok yes, the number of suggestions was about right) but even after... _/checks how many chapters so far_...27 chapters i still don't expect the support and encouragement you guys give me. Hell, i still don't expect anyone to read this despite the fact that i'm thinking of writing MORE. The irony, i know! But i really do wanna do my best to make the characters believable and true even if that means putting myself on the backburner. It's not that it's something new, but when it comes to that particular topic...i know i have to get better at handling those triggers. And i'm sorry if it's something i'm putting or forcing on you guys to deal with as a result because it's my problem to handle.  
> Anyway, onto happier things! i'm gonna try to get to as many of the comments as possible here, or at least abridged responses with actual responses to the actual comments to follow!  
> @coldname - Not gonna lie, i've already imagined Elsamaren ~~flirting~~ 'texting' with each other and it involved Maren using a lot of emojis lol!  
> @Ravrav - i have no idea how i do anything, ok? XD Also may have jumped the gun and imagined Elsamaren with Bruni A LOT 0.0 i want to write those.  
> @Ann - Elsa is just as useless as Maren, she has no idea Maren needs mercy lol. And it only took Maren how many chapters to catch onto the whole MAREN YOU IDIOT thing? XD  
> @LethyMay - i think you're referring to Elsamaren with that comment xD They do all the work, i just remotely attempt to write them!  
> @Superamy777 - Ooooooh you mean like in this chapter here you're about to read? 0=)  
> @fanficfruitts - i probably would not have described this chapter as fluff unless maybe it just seems super fluff compared to the last one? i have no idea lol. But i'm glad that it balanced out really well!  
> @holographicbubbles - Ok that story? 100% a thing Nani would do, i can totally see it except she'd text it purposefully.... Probably to Maren when she's being an idiot again LOL  
> @RobinPercher - i'm glad you could practically hear that, cause after actually typing that long stream of apology it came out as total gibberish to me...which is probably accurate since that's what it sounded like to Elsa XD  
> @Domika83 - OMG DOMI HOW'D YOU KNOW??? :O Ok, actually i have no idea yet if it is gonna be in Chapter 37 but that's probably an accurate conclusion and i don't even feel called out lol  
> @Hugo_renfield - Confession, i never know what to comment on peoples' stories either. 0.0 NOW i feel called out though, cause i literally have been jumping ahead and imagining them married already XDD  
> @helpisontheway - First off, you get a break because self scan will not be asking for you for the next two chapters lol. The details are my way of not knowing when the hell to shut up XD And it's so funny you mention Anna because GUESS WHO'S COMING TO CHAPTER 28!
> 
> Ok i'm stopping there cause you guys heard enough of me. Time to actually dive into the chapter!
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - i'm trying to be good at mentioning possible triggers in my chapters even if they're only for a sentence so please let me know if there's any points where i forget anything, just like a friendly reminder like 'oh hey just so you know, this chapter the topic of d-ath is temporarily brought up so if you could...?'. But there is briefly the mention of the passing of Anna and Elsa's parents here.]

Elsa’s breathing finally steadied.

It took a long while for her to actually will herself to calm down.

Kristoff had stayed with her until Anna arrived and then he left for work. With a bit more sanity now, Elsa wished she could have properly thanked him for what he did. He absolutely did not have to go to the lengths he did, but he did for her. Elsa couldn’t begin to describe what that meant to her.

And though she was very much thankful to Kristoff, her saving grace would always be Anna. As soon as the redhead burst through the door she removed Elsa from Kristoff’s arms and just consoled her. She didn’t ask any questions. She didn’t pry anything out of Elsa. She didn’t do anything except hold her and let her cry. Elsa couldn’t remember the last time she’d broken down like that; the last time she’d gotten so emotional. Yet it never fazed Anna. Even when, for the most part, Anna had seen Elsa put on her bravest face, she never faltered at Elsa’s lowest low. And this low felt particularly low.

When Elsa finally calmed down she let Anna bring her over some food. It was a bowl of Cocoa Puffs…not that Elsa exactly wanted those. They made her think of Maren.

That was what started everything in the first place.

Although, after some time, Anna did ask if Elsa wanted to talk about what happened.

Elsa merely shook her head.

She ate a couple of spoonfuls of the cereal, only to keep Anna off her back.

When she was done forcing herself to eat something, Anna undid the bun Elsa put up post-shower and began taking a brush through it. Elsa felt herself relax as her sister moved seamlessly through her blonde locks. Elsa’s hair was surprisingly thick and the only person besides her who could seem to get a good handle on it was Anna. She navigated through Elsa’s hair like it was nothing.

For a while they sat there in a comfortable silence. The only time they stopped anything was for her to call out of work. Anna praised her greatly for the action; she knew it took a lot for her sister to do that. Elsa still felt guilty; by all means she should absolutely go into work. There was nothing aside from her emotions and anxiety holding her back. Still, Anna said that her mental health depended on it and it was just as important as her job. Elsa would not let her say it was more important, naturally. She saw the fight that flickered in Anna’s eyes, prepared to counter with every possible argument she could stating how much more important Elsa was to her than money from a stupid job. Thankfully, however, the redhead relented and focused on her hair.

Finally, after some time had passed, Elsa exhaled.

“Have I said thank you for coming?” she asked softy.

“Only like sixteen times,” Anna answered.

Elsa gave a single nod.

She paused.

“Have I said I’m sorry yet?” she asked.

Anna scoffed. “Only like a bajillion times.”

Elsa blinked. “Today?”

“No, in your whole life, dummy,” Anna responded lightly hitting her sister with the brush. She shook her head before stroking her hair a couple more times. “Oh, Elsa, when are you going to learn to stop apologizing for everything even when there’s nothing to apologize for?”

“But you should have been home working today, not coming over to comfort me,” she replied.

“They can miss me for one day. I don’t care,” Anna promised. “My sister means way more to me than any job ever could. You know that any time you call I’m here in a heartbeat. When are you going to learn to just accept that?”

Elsa sighed. “I don’t know….”

Anna ran the brush through Elsa’s locks a few more times.

“Anyway…” the redhead said after a pause, “I’m the one who should be apologizing.”

Elsa blinked. “What?” She turned around to face her sister with a confused look.

“Well, yeah,” Anna admitted with a shrug. “Yesterday was a mess for both of us. I was only able to get through it because I had Kristoff. We both took the day off and he was by my side the whole time. He didn’t once let me think about what it was or let me be sad. He just…he wanted to do something for me. And I should have done the same for you.”

Elsa’s face fell. “Anna, you know I would have said no even if you invited me over. Even without this pandemic, I would have still gone into work no matter what.”

“But you shouldn’t have. And I should’ve fought harder to keep you home with us where we all belonged,” she replied. “It’s hell to get through that day every year. Maybe next time we should actually try to do it together.”

They wouldn’t even have that day to get through if it weren’t for Elsa.

Except she couldn’t tell that to Anna.

She never could.

Of course Anna knew their parents’ official cause of death – the car crash.

But Elsa never told her that was the morning she came out.

That their lives were forever shifted because Elsa picked that one morning to say something.

And it cost them their parents.

She hadn’t told Anna the specifics about her coming out to their parents in the beginning; only that their mother knew before their father. And that neither of their reactions was positive. But Elsa didn’t dare ruin the image of Agnarr and Iduna to Anna. Of course, even that was never meant to last. Sooner or later Anna had to have found out. And when Elsa finally revealed that truth, there was no going back. She didn’t just get their parents taken away; she tainted their memory forever.

“I’m sorry.”

Elsa’s eyes closed and her voice choked out barely above a whisper. She clenched her fists in her lap; afraid she was going to burst again.

“Elsa…” Anna reached out and placed a hand on her sister’s shoulder. She waited a moment before leaning in to hug her fully. “You have absolutely nothing to apologize for. I’m here. Ok?”

But she had everything to apologize for.

What made it hurt even more wasn’t that Anna would hate her for it.

She knew Anna could never resent her for it.

Anna would deny and deny and deny until she was blue in the face.

She would never let Elsa admit that that day was all her fault.

Even that sad fact would not alter the love and admiration she had for her sister.

Elsa felt like she was going to burst again. As if all of her guilt, fears, and self-hatred were going to take over her and drown her in a sea of her own tears. She coughed, trying desperately to choke them back. A few managed to escape, but other than that her heart rate remained steady. And it was all because of Anna. She sat next to Elsa. Hugging her. Encouraging her. Loving her. Holding on tight to her. Nothing Elsa said or did was ever going to change that. She was unsure if she should feel grateful or guiltier. She really didn’t deserve a sister like Anna.

Elsa was unsure how much time had passed before her phone rang. Shaking her head, she willed her hand up to wipe her eyes. Who was trying to call her now…?

With Anna’s grip loosening, the elder was able to lean forward towards the coffee table and look at the caller ID on her phone.

“Nani…?” she blinked.

Anna’s eyes widened. “Oh! Nani’s calling? You should answer!”

“I…I don’t know,” Elsa shook her head. “It…they’re probably working and you’re here…. I, I shouldn’t….”

“She’s probably calling to check on you. Answer it, answer it, answer it!” Anna practically begged.

Shaking her head, Elsa sniffed. She reached over and picked up the phone, though waited a moment to make sure she sounded as calm as possible before actually speaking. She couldn’t let Nani of all people know how much she had really broken.

“Hello…?”

“Way to check on your kingdom, Snow Queen,” Nani teased.

Even hearing her coworker’s voice, Elsa still found herself shocked. Somehow she couldn’t believe that Nani of all people was taking the time to contact her.

“N…Nani…? What…?”

Nani chuckled. “I got a captive audience here for you. Oaken’s is still standing, by the way. I haven’t set it on fire…. Yet.”

The first half of the comment went completely over Elsa’s head and she instead focused on the obvious response from her coworker. “Yet,” she deadpanned.

The next thing she knew, there was a vibrant switch-off of dialogue between Ella and Snow.

“Oh no need to worry. Nani’s been amazing today.”

“But we did miss you. How are you feeling?”

“Are you alright?”

“Did you get any sleep?”

“Is there something we can do?”

“Have you had any chocolate?”

“What if…?”

“Ok, ok, chill, all of you. Let the woman breathe!” Nani interrupted. “Translation – they’re sick of me already and want you to take the throne back.”

She heard Ella and Snow gasp, but it took Elsa more than a minute to register.

So that was why Nani called. Snow and Ella…. They were worried about her. They wanted to talk to her. They cared about her. Even though she had been a terrible boss yesterday, even though she completely let them down, and even though she absolutely did not deserve for them to take time out of their shifts to call her…they did. They did it for her.

Not that Elsa should have completely been surprised; of course Snow would have played some part in it.

But to know that they actually followed through with it…. To actually hear their voices….

She had no idea what to say.

“You…you all absolutely did not have to do this.”

“But we wanted to. It wasn’t the same without you tonight. I missed my sister,” Snow said.

“We all did,” Ella added.

Elsa couldn’t help but place her hand over her heart.

How the hell did she get so lucky to work with these people?

No.

How the hell did she get so lucky to call them her friends?

Her friends.

They were her friends.

They weren’t just her coworkers.

They weren’t just some wacky found family that so happened to be trapped in the world of retail together.

They weren’t just people who were stuck with each other, be it as a family, as coworkers, or even in the middle of a pandemic.

They were her friends.

Elsa didn’t realize until that moment how essential they’d been to her this whole time.

If only she had the words to tell them.

“Oh for the love of…” Nani groaned.

Then again, maybe it was a good thing Elsa didn’t say anything right away.

“Just take the damn phone already. I didn’t ask for this much sap.”

Ella sounded as though she tried to hold back a giggle. “Oh…Nani’s just…”

“I know,” Elsa admitted. “I’d be concerned if she wasn’t.”

Actually, if Elsa was being completely honest, she preferred it that way.

Not even just to get her out of joining in on the so-called sap.

Just because she wouldn’t be Nani any other way.

“Are you feeling a little better today at all?” Snow asked hopefully.

Elsa paused.

Yes and no, she wanted to say.

No, she was never going to feel better about that day. She was never going to feel better about having to live with it for the rest of her life. She was never going to feel better knowing that she brought that turmoil on. She was never going to, in lamest terms, get over it.

Not that anyone was asking her to.

But there was no other way to describe it.

At the same time….

She had Kristoff.

He consoled her until Anna came.

And then Anna hadn’t left her side since.

And now Snow, Ella, and even Nani….

They made Elsa feel better.

“A little…actually,” she confessed.

Snow sighed with relief. “I’m glad. I can buy you some Sno-caps if you want.”

Elsa allowed the faintest smile to cross her face. She could almost hear Anna gushing next to her. Elsa lightly nudged her sister before shaking her head.

“There’s no need for that. But thank you.”

“Well then…” Snow paused, seeming to choose her words carefully, “if it’s all right…when you come back…. Oh! And when you want to…may I please give you another hug?”

“Snow…” the blonde gasped, breath hitching. 

Could she have been any more…?

God, even after everything that happened, even after the way Elsa reacted, and even the way she tried so hard to push her away yesterday, Snow still tried. She wanted to do something.

Even though she knew how Elsa was about physical contact. She wasn’t going to do anything without asking.

Even if Elsa said no, Snow was still showing that she cared.

She still wanted to be Elsa’s sister.

How could Elsa think so little of herself when someone like Snow just kept saying things like that to her? Doing things like that for her?

She could practically feel Anna squeezing her arm, as if she were feeling vicariously through Elsa.

Even though she was so obviously eavesdropping.

“I know there isn’t much I can do. I just don’t want you to be sad,” she explained. “And if you’d rather just talk a little…. Maybe we can be sad together?”

Elsa held in a breath.

Of course.

Elsa wasn’t the only one who was affected.

Even if the customer didn’t utter any of those terrible words at Snow, it didn’t change the fact that on some level Snow understood what Elsa was going through.

She was hurting just as much as Elsa.

“Is this about…?” she realized. “You want to talk about it, too, don’t you?”

“Maybe…a little…” the teen admitted.

Elsa paused.

How was she supposed to say no to that? With how much effort Snow was putting in for her sake? With everything Snow had done for her? That she wanted to do for her?

Even if Elsa was horrible at talking, she owed it to Snow.

Anna was right; Elsa didn’t have to go through it alone.

And she didn’t only have to weather through it with one sister.

She could do it with two.

“I…I think we can do that,” she agreed.

“I wish I could offer you the same,” Ella commented sadly.

Elsa’s face fell. Ella tried so hard to keep out of everyone’s personal business. She cared immensely about everyone but allowed them their own personal space. She probably felt as though she violated Elsa’s somehow by being involved with all of this in the first place. And especially knowing the bond that Snow created with Elsa, Ella must have felt like she was intruding. If only she knew how wrong she was.

“You do plenty,” Elsa reassured her. Though that didn’t sound like nearly enough.

“I just…” Ella paused to search for the right words. “I hope you know how much you mean to us. And how much we admire you. We want you to be ok, Elsa. And if that means you need another night off or even a week off…. We’ll be here waiting for you. With all due respect to Nani, you make coming in every night absolutely worth it. We wouldn’t have the comfort or even the store without you. We just hope that you don’t forget that.”

Elsa wished she could have said everything that was racing through her mind. If only there were a way to accurately depict how much Ella’s words meant to her. But no matter how much Elsa tried to search in her mind, nothing came out just right. Everyone else could say Elsa spoke eloquently all they wanted but the truth was she couldn’t compare to Ella. That woman spoke directly from her heart and there was absolutely no matching that.

“Ella…” she exhaled. “I…. Thank you.”

“I promise I won’t bring up last night again if you don’t want me to,” Ella said. “But, I’d just like to share that I did tell my mice the story. I’d never seen Jaq run so much on his wheel before. It was the first night in a while he didn’t try to break out of the cage. I think he’s trying to buff himself up to punch someone.”

Punch someone.

Huh.

Now wasn’t that a statement.

That was something that Maren would say.

Elsa wondered what she would say if she was there with everyone else right now. If she would even say anything. Or if she really had been frightened off by Elsa. Or if she would even come back to the store after that.

“I could try taking a picture if he does that again, if you’d like,” Ella offered.

“I think I would,” Elsa agreed. If anything else, she would never turn down an image of someone’s fur baby.

“We miss you, Elsa. Love you,” Snow said.

“Ok, you two, sap fest is officially over,” Nani declared in the background.

Elsa attempted to hold in a laugh as she overheard Nani instruct the two of them on what to do. She wondered if she knew Elsa could overhear them and was doing it on purpose to prove they wanted Elsa back. As if Nani was some retail dictator or something. Not that Elsa would go so far as to call her that, but she could probably think of someone who would.

Oh….

Maren.

So she wasn’t there after all.

Why did Elsa feel disappointed at that realization?

“As for you…” she heard Nani say.

Elsa blinked. Who you? Who was Nani talking to?

“Take your fifteen. Oh, and whatever you do, don’t get too many of your Casanova germs on it. Kay?”

Casanova…?

Maren!

Elsa’s eyes widened and a blush suddenly crept to her cheeks.

She felt them get hotter as she heard Maren yell, “NANI!”

Oh shit.

Oh shit Maren was on the phone.

Maren was about to talk to Elsa.

Oh shit.

Elsa could already feel a stare from Anna on her.

Whether it was inquisitive, teasing, or shocked, Elsa had no idea.

She just knew that she should probably not be sitting directly next to her while she was talking to Maren of all people.

“Uh…h…. How much of that did you hear…?” Maren’s question came tentatively.

Elsa paused as she stood from the couch. She heard an “hm?” from Anna but Elsa attempted to pay no mind. She just…she had to talk to Maren like she was Snow or Ella. This…this was nothing out of the ordinary. At all. It wasn’t….

Oh, whom was she kidding?

This was a huge deal.

She was about to talk to Maren for the first time since she raced away from her the night before.

What if Maren didn’t even want to talk to her? She hadn’t said anything that whole time. Nani obviously forced her phone onto her. No wonder Maren was so quiet. She didn’t say anything because she didn’t want to talk to Elsa so now Nani was up to her tricks to get them to talk. As if one conversation was going to simply turn everything around and make it all right.

“A…. A little….”

“I’m sorry about…” Maren started.

“It’s ok,” Elsa interrupted. She walked away from Anna and began heading to her bedroom. Not that she expected the conversation to last long but…. But she couldn’t let Anna overhear anything. She was already suspicious. By the end of this, her feelings for Maren would all be but confirmed to her sister. Not like it would matter anyway. “You…you don’t have to apologize. It’s just…. It’s Nani.”

Oh but that sounded so curt and lame. But maybe it would be enough to get the point across. Elsa knew Maren was only talking to her because of Nani. So maybe if Maren admitted it as well, Elsa wouldn’t have to take up so much of her time and both of them could move on with their lives. Elsa was so obviously too much for Maren’s anyway.

“No…. I mean, I mean I know. A…about Nani. And…and yeah, I am sorry…. A…about her, I mean. But…but I’m also sorry about me, too….” Maren stammered.

Elsa raised an eyebrow. Why did Maren almost sound nervous? Unless it was just that awkward to even be talking to Elsa over the phone? Ugh, she must have made the woman that uncomfortable that she wasn’t even sure what to say anymore. How could Elsa have been so stupid? She opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Maren taking a deep breath and blabbing out something nearly incoherent.

“I’msorryaboutlastnightandI’msorryaboutwhatyouwentthroughIshould’venevergottenthatcustomeritwasthewrongthingtodoandIwishtherecould’vebeenmoretodobutItotallyscrewedupandIdidn’tmeantohurtyourfeelingsandI’mreallysorryandIhope…”

Elsa’s eyes widened. She had no idea what the hell Maren said. Or what she was trying to say. If this were going to be the last time they communicated, Elsa would at least have liked to understand what the hell was coming out of Maren's mouth.

“Maren! Maren!” she gasped. “S…slow down… Please.”

Maren exhaled. “I….” She gulped. “I just wanted to say I’m sorry…. About last night.”

Elsa halted in her doorway, blinking at the response.

Maren was sorry.

Oh no. Now she was going to try to make Elsa feel better.

No. Elsa was not going to let Maren take the fall for that.

She sighed. “You’re not the one who needs to apologize.”

“Yes I am,” Maren said.

“You’re not the one at fault, Maren,” Elsa said as she stepped fully into her room. “I made you feel like you had to leave.”

“Elsa you didn’t…. You never….” Maren stammered. Why did she almost sound frustrated? “You were completely within your rights. About everything. What you said, how you reacted, what you were doing…. You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who screwed up by leaving.”

“But you wouldn’t have had to do that if you weren’t uncomfortable with me,” she pointed out.

There was a pause.

Elsa waited in anticipation for Maren to agree with her.

“Angel I could never….”

Elsa froze.

She used that name again.

Elsa’s gaze shifted downward.

Why did she still insist on using it?

Was it to make Elsa feel better?

Was it to make her feel worse?

What was the point even?

Maren exhaled. “Elsa you are one of the last people to make me uncomfortable. You’ve never done anything to make me feel otherwise. I just….”

There was a long pause.

“I…I didn’t wanna push you. I know how you are about getting close to people and….” She sighed. “I just didn’t want you to feel obligated. Or…. I don’t know…. Like I was forcing you on me somehow. I…I didn’t wanna put too much on you so I thought…. I thought it was better if I left.”

Another long pause.

She….

She was only thinking about Elsa?

That whole time?

“So…” Elsa gulped, attempting to keep her voice steady though it was quieter than anything. “It wasn’t because…?”

Maren cut her off before she could finish. “I’m here, Elsa. I meant it when you were talking to me about your cats. I meant it last night. I mean it now.”

She….

She meant it…?

She meant everything…?

About being there for Elsa?

Wanting to spend more time with Elsa?

Saying she could run to her?

She meant it all?

She wasn’t just saying that?

It wasn’t because of anything Elsa did?

She didn’t come on too strongly?

Or make Maren uncomfortable?

Or scare her off with her overwhelming baggage?

After all that….

She meant it?

She wanted to be there?

Elsa felt her heart speeding out of control. But it didn’t feel like she was about to have a panic attack or pass out. It wasn’t out of anxiety, not entirely. It was…. At first she thought it was pure shock. She thought she couldn’t believe her ears. But as the palpitations settled with Elsa they felt…different somehow. Why couldn’t she describe it? Why did it almost make her feel high? The kind of high where she was just floating on air? The kind where she was just rising higher and higher? The kind that was setting her chest on fire? The kind that just seemed too good to be true?

But she heard it. Maren meant every word she said. She wouldn’t have been trying this hard if she didn’t care.

Elsa felt her mouth dry. She could barely whisper out her response.

“Thank you…. Honey.”

As quickly as the sentiment left her lips, Elsa struggled to take it back.

“Oh…! I…I’m sorry, I shouldn’t….”

“No!” Maren exclaimed. Elsa held in her breath as she anxiously waited for the woman to continue. “You…you can keep calling me that…. I….” She paused. “…I missed that.”

She missed that?

She missed that.

She missed that!

Oh thank god!

She missed Elsa calling her Honey.

Elsa’s hand shot up to grab her heart again. She couldn’t help but exhale a ‘heh’ in relief. She almost wanted to laugh. All that time she had been so worried about being too much for Maren or that she scared her off…. All the while Maren had been feeling the same way. And even though Elsa didn’t want her using Angel right away, Maren still wanted to hear Honey. Nothing changed. They were still…whatever the hell they were.

She was still Honey.

God, was that supposed to feel so good?

Elsa couldn’t help but lean against her wall, feeling her body relax.

She was still talking to Honey.

Or…rather standing on the phone in silence with Honey.

But it was nice.

It was almost as if they were in the break room again. Like they were the other night. Sitting across from each other at the table. Munching on their ice cream in a comfortable silence. Enjoying each other’s company. Just…being themselves. It was…. Relieving.

No, that wasn’t completely accurate.

It was, but…but it was also something else.

It felt….

It felt like something Elsa had been missing for a long time.

Like something she’d been looking for her whole life.

“Hey Elsa…?”

Maren’s voice softly broke the comfortable silence. But Elsa didn’t mind.

“Yes…?”

“Got any more videos of Bruni?”

“Hm….”

Did she have any more videos of Bruni?

Of course she did.

For too long those videos had been for her, Anna, and Kristoff only.

And now Maren wanted to see more of them.

It would be nice to share them with someone else.

“I’m certain I do.”

“Maybe…. Next break?”

Next break.

Their break.

Their ritual.

How nice that sounded.

“Cocoa Puffs or m&ms?”

“Lady’s choice.”

“I like m&m’s.”

“You got it.”

The comfortable silence fell again. Elsa wished it could have lasted longer.

That is, until she realized that Maren was still at Oaken’s. On Nani’s phone.

“O…oh! I…I should let you get back….”

“You sure I can’t get out of it?” Maren asked innocently.

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “You want to try explaining that to Nani?”

“Point taken,” the brunette gave in. She sighed. “So…. Tomorrow? Or…whenever…?”

Not that anyone would be angry if Elsa took another night off. But perhaps it would be a good idea to try returning to work the next night. After all, Maren would be there.

“Tomorrow. Good night Mar….” No. Maren didn’t sound right. Not in that moment. “Honey.”

“Good night An….” Maren cut herself off. She was almost about to say Angel again. Elsa wasn’t sure if she would have corrected her. But, true to her word, Maren held back. It made Elsa feel both relieved and disappointed. She almost held her breath waiting for the name to leave Maren’s lips again. How could she want to hear something so desperately and be so afraid to hear it at the same time? “Good night Elsa.”

Elsa pulled in her lips and nodded. She waited one more moment before pulling her phone away from her ear. With no confirmation of Maren changing her mind or saying anything else, Elsa willed herself to hit end call. She exhaled the breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. For a minute Elsa stayed leaning against her wall and staring at her phone, replaying Maren’s voice in her head over and over again.

“SO!”

Elsa blinked and jerked back.

Oh shit.

That was right; Anna was still there.

“You look like you’re on cloud nine,” the redhead teased skipping in.

Elsa shook her head. “It…it’s nothing.”

Anna smirked. “Uh huh. Suuuuuure it’s not! I saw the way you left in the middle of the call. Who were you talking to that time that I just couldn’t be in the same room?”

“No one. Nothing,” Elsa lied.

Anna’s eyes immediately lit up. “Is it about a girl??”

“Anna!” she gasped.

Squealing, Anna wrapped her arms around her sister in a tight hug. “EEEEEEEEE! I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT I KNEW IT!”

“Anna…please stop that….” Elsa huffed in between jumps.

Anna released her sister but couldn’t seem to stop herself from jumping up and down. “Who is it? Which coworker? Is it Ella? Or Maren? I mean Ella is like a total sweetheart; she’d be so good for you! I mean, FINALLY, someone who is so sweet and positive, maybe you’d actually listen to her! But you and Maren have that old married couple vibe going on, like you guys are the moms and Snow’s your daughter and you’re totally on opposite sides of everything and you playfully argue about what’s right for her but you come to an agreement for her sake and you totally try to steal each others’ chocolate when the other isn’t looking….”

Elsa’s eyes widened. Where the hell did Anna get such a specific fantasy?

That Elsa may or may not have wanted to be a reality on some level?

“Anna…. Anna slow down….” Elsa attempted to calm her sister by placing her hands on her shoulders and holding her in place. “I think you’re getting way too ahead of yourself here. It isn’t at all anything like….”

She stopped herself when her phone vibrated. Removing her hands, Elsa focused her attention on the phone. There was a text from an unknown number.

Except it wasn’t unknown.

Because only one person could have messaged her that.

_Hi Angel._

How did Maren…?

Oh wait.

Nani.

That son of a….

Another vibration.

_Sorry…. just so you knew it was me_

_I promise I’ll lay off it for a while_

Oh….

Oh….

Maren…!

Evidently, Anna deemed Elsa was staring at her phone screen too long. The younger tilted her head forward to see the messages and her face instantly turned into something that might as well have been a reincarnation of The Scream.

“OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH!!!!”

Elsa steadily took a few steps away from her sister, instinctively pulling her phone close to her.

“Anna….”

“She. Calls. You. ANGEL???”

Oh fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BUSTED! XD Literally, Anna's reactions write themselves. i think you guys have an idea where this might be going now....
> 
> So Elsa's kinda still got a bit going on here. And i know i'm a total hypocrite for saying this cause the days where i decide to take off have to be SO specific like there has to be a legit reason and it took so much for me to admit there are specific days i shouldn't go into work but guys, take a note from Elsa. Your. Mental health. Matters. You. Matter. i'll leave my personal stories outta this one cause, like i said, hypocrite, but trust me when i say that if there's a day where you don't think you can focus on work, if you are physically or emotionally not up to it, you are allowed to call out. And let's be real here, we all know that there was probably some back and forth between Elsa and Anna about her calling out in the first place. So do what Elsa did, listen to Anna, and call the hell out.
> 
> As for Elsa's guilt surrounding her parents, i debated including a line specifying why she feels guilty. Or like, actually connecting it all together. But thinking about Elsa's POV, unless she's talking to someone specifically about what happened or unless someone is talking about it or for her, she is not going to personally connect the dots. Because that's what Elsa does, she puts things on herself so no one else has to. And of course, as a result of that, as much as she wants to hear Angel she also doesn't want to because she doesn't think she deserves it (EVEN THOUGH SHE TOTALLY DOES). But, of course, Maren knows that for whatever reason Elsa doesn't wanna hear it yet so she's trying even though it's damn painful for both of them.
> 
> But then we get Elsa's side of the conversation from last chapter and, rereading this, i can definitely call that part of this chapter fluff. It's like...not exactly feeling something get off Elsa's shoulders, but there's definitely a relief there and i think/hope this is one of those moments where Elsa is actually realizing she has people behind her, that these are more than just her coworkers and that she does have a support system. It's not just Anna and Kristoff anymore. And, a lot like how some of Anna's responses write themselves, Elsa's reactions to Maren basically wrote themselves. Like i said last chapter, a lot of the conversation was placeholders and how well it worked depended just as much on Elsa's thoughts as they did Maren's. i mean, it only continues to prove that they're a couple of useless queers but we pretty much knew they've been that the entire story lol. Now when is _Elsa_ gonna admit she may also wanna kiss Maren? 0=)
> 
> Elsa's not out of the woods yet.... Or is she still _lost_ in the woods? XD .... So not only does she still have some work to do on her demons but now she's got Anna on her back AND SHE GONNA GET IT! 
> 
> The next chapter will be up...probably on Tuesday again. Even though Mondays are my only days off the next two are gonna be busy. Like i said, the writer's block is temporarily fought off and i think i FINALLY made some progress with the chapter i was struggling with before, but now the trick is finding the time to bounce off that and keep it going. Work has been super wonky and there's been a lot going on between the schedule and people leaving (including one of my work moms T-T) not to mention a number of changes, but that's probably also why i have 28 inches worth of retail stories scribbled on a long piece of scrap paper.... Yes i measured, please don't judge! Now you know (one of) the reasons i feel like i need to write more. -_-; Anyway, i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter and i'll leave it to you to joke about Anna's continued reaction/rubbing it in Elsa's face xD Until next week, see you guys on register! Or at self scan. Or in the aisles. Or somewhere in the grocery store. Because that's my home. Where i live. Forever.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the good news is, i actually got some writing done in whatever free time i managed to squeeze out. And, aside from the pressure i put on myself of trying to live up to how i envisioned the Struggling Chapter (which isn't too far away now!), i figured out why i was having a hard time writing in the first place. First, the lack of retail stories. Because the past couple of chapters as well as the next bunch, save for one or two instances, have had NO retail stories whatsoever and it's been so focused on dealing specifically with Elsa or Maren. So as someone who's been using this as a way to project my work frustrations onto fictional characters, there's been a bit of a disconnect there. Second, i've had so many daydreams in my head that's already jumping the gun having Elsamaren together and just picturing their relationship at that point when it's not even there yet and i can't start on writing those without actually having this story finished first. And finally there's this thing in my head, i'm told it's called a Brain, has been popping out idea after idea. (Unfortunately nothing for Elsamaren Halloween because COME ON BRAIN I BEEN ADVOCATING FOR THAT FOR MONTHS AND YOU CAN'T EVEN BACK ME UP TO MAKE ME WRITE SOMETHING FOR IT?) And it's at the point where i'm using one of my new Frozen notebooks to try and plot out one of the ideas that i'm not even sure if i should turn into a story. Can it be done? Is it worth it? Could i juggle two stories at once plus work? i have no idea!
> 
> Needless to say this is gonna be the only update this week. While i actually have enough chapters to post multiple updates for...i think 2 weeks?...this little visitor called a sinus infection decided to return. i can get to all the replies from last chapter right here! ^^  
> @AshSilver99 - Anna is Elsa's number one supporter in like, everything, and i really hope the laughs with her continue with the start of this chapter because we're picking up almost right from where we left off. i think with Elsa, and this is a conversation some online friends were having about another story but it's pretty true in most universes, Elsa is a self-sacrificing idiot. So whether something actually is her fault or not she'll automatically take the blame or assume it's her fault with no questions asked. But the trauma in her life has definitely played a part in that as well. It's so crazy you say it feels like yesterday, because i think i posted this story back in March?, and it's basically felt like March all year around! XD  
> @T2Boy2 - i think Anna has that flipping effect on people LOL. Thank you, but if the last chapter or even this or next chapter are any good, it's only because Chapter 27 being the starting point that kinda led into these chapters. And the characters do most of the work by existing, i just try to write them xD  
> @holographicbubbles - ANNA SUPER YES because this girl is not about to shut up! lol. i don't think she'll be the one to call them out specifically but there will definitely be some of that happening. And i would absolutely love to use every story if i could! Not sure when it's gonna happen yet, but Nani will send that text one day and Casanova is gonna GET. IT. xD  
> @Ann - Debatable lol. Not that Elsa wants to admit out loud she likes the thought of being an old married couple, Anna will NEVER let her hear the end of it. XD You're about to get more of that convo now so i hope you enjoy it! (And not just because i love writing Anna in all her quirkiness so much lol.) i'll probably post another note about that in a later chapter, but let's have a friendly louder reminder for the people in the back while we're at it.... **PRIORITIZE YOURSELF.** (Which is something i should also do this week XD)  
> @fanficfruitts - Elsa's a nerd and Maren's a dork. They're so perfect together! <3 Maren's also so fricking head over heels at this point she can't not ramble! Thank you. i say this every time, but i'm just here to write a questionable retail story that i didn't think would amount to anything. But the positivity you and everyone else has given from the beginning means so much, so thank you and i love you guys for that <3  
> @RobinPercher - Confession...there've been a number of scenes i've written here that i've kinda imagined in the little chibi anime forms. And Anna as The Scream was very much a combination of The Scream and anime XD (Also leave it to Elsa to make an art reference somehow.) But i'm very relieved to know that there was definitely a connectivity between the two chapters and that reading them together like that resulted very similar to the way i pictured it. So thank you so much for that confirmation and being able to describe it in a much more understanding way than i could have :)
> 
> Ok guys take a deep breath and dive in cause Impulsive Anna is about to. Go. OFF. i do not believe there are any warnings specifically dealing with passings or homophobia this chapter.

“She calls you Angel??”

“I can’t believe this!”

“This is so totally crazy!”

“I mean not that this is crazy at all.”

“It isn’t. It’s not crazy. It’s wonderful and magical and happy and…”

“She calls you Angel??”

“I just…I can’t believe it.”

“When did this even start happening?”

“How long has it been going on for?”

“Wait, do I even wanna know?”

“Yes of course I wanna know!”

“But then again you didn’t even tell me the first time.”

“Oh my god why haven’t you told me?”

“She calls you Angel??”

“What do you even call her?”

“How long have you two been dating?”

“You know what? I don’t wanna know.”

“OH MY GOD I TOTALLY NEED TO KNOW!”

“But you obviously haven’t told me for a reason.”

“OH MY GOD WHY HAVEN’T YOU TOLD ME?”

“I just can’t believe that finally…FINALLY…after all this time!”

“I absolutely need to know everything. Where did you even meet?”

“Oh pffft duh, you met at work!”

“But when did it all start?”

“Who confessed first?”

“Does everyone else know?”

“Or am I the last to find out?”

“She calls you Angel??”

“How did I not even know this before?”

“I mean it’s so obviously a pet name.”

“I can’t believe you kept this from me all this time!”

“SHE CALLS YOU ANGEL???”

Anna had been back and forth like that for at least fifteen minutes.

It started from the second she saw Maren’s first text message. And from there everything just blew completely out of proportion. Elsa had not been able to get a word in edgewise, let alone think about anything. As much as she would have preferred to not bring up the nickname at all, for some reason it was the one thing Anna kept circling around back to.

This was exactly why she didn’t want Anna to find anything out. Of course she was going to explode over the mere implication. Of course she was going to look too much into it. Of course she was going to get excited and have her hopes up…get Elsa’s hopes up…and then Elsa was going to have to confront the truth. Anna would try to convince Elsa otherwise and maybe, just maybe, there would be a chance Elsa would start thinking otherwise. But she knew exactly how it would end. Elsa would find out the truth, that Maren didn’t like her, or that she wouldn’t be comfortable with her, and it would all be down the drain. Everything Elsa worked for would have been for naught. And that friendship she cherished so much with Maren; that would be over in a heartbeat. Elsa couldn’t risk any of that. She had to calm Anna down. Help her see the light and get it together.

That, and if she heard Angel one more time Elsa swore she was going to burst.

“Anna!” She grabbed her sister’s shoulders and forced her to stand in one place as opposed to pacing back and forth around the bedroom like a crazed person. “You have got to stop that! There is nothing going on between me and Maren.”

Anna smirked. “Not according to that text,” she sang.

Elsa threw her head back. “Ugh! Anna, please. I am asking you as your sister to please shut the hell up.”

“What? No!” the redhead gasped and threw her sister’s hands down. “How am I supposed to shut up? Elsa, this is a good thing! A wonderful, amazing, incredible thing. Do you know how long I waited for you to remotely show interest in anyone?”

The elder glared. “Really?”

“What!” she gasped. “Elsa, this is exciting! You were thinking the worst for so long and you finally, FINALLY, found someone who accepts you!”

“No. She doesn’t,” Elsa argued.

“Ok, I know that’s just the demons in your head talking. But you’re in a relationship now. You really have to stop listening to them and focus on your girlfriend,” Anna said.

“Anna. Maren is not my girlfriend. There is no relationship,” Elsa forced out.

“No one calls someone Angel unless it’s their name or they’re in a relationship. Last I checked, your name was Elsa,” she folded her arms.

“No shit,” she rolled her eyes.

Anna groaned. “Elsa why are you being so stubborn about this?”

“Because I’m telling you the truth,” she argued.

“So what’s with Angel then?” she demanded.

“It’s just a name she uses, ok? It doesn’t mean anything. It can’t mean anything. And will you please just shut up about that name already!” Elsa fought.

“Why? Because only your girlfriend can call you that?” Anna teased.

Yes.

No!

She meant no!

Of course Maren was the only one who could call her that.

Except she wasn’t her girlfriend!

“Anna! Shut the fuck up already, all right? Maren doesn’t know! She doesn’t know about me. I haven’t told her a damn thing. No one at work knows except for Nani. Her, you, and Kristoff are the only ones who know. The only others who know are long gone and they wanted nothing to do with me anyway! So please, just please, stop insisting that there’s something there! There is nothing going on between me and Maren, there was never anything going on between me and Maren, and it doesn’t even matter how I feel anyway because she wouldn’t accept me. If my own parents didn’t why would she? So just drop it, ok, Anna? Just shut your damn mouth because you have no idea what the hell I’m going through and you have to stop acting like the world is a perfect, romantic place because it isn’t! It doesn’t matter how I feel and it doesn’t matter how she feels. There. Is. No. Place. For me.”

Groaning in frustration, Elsa sat on her bed. She leaned forward, burying her head into her hands. She let out a few breaths in an attempt to calm herself down. She felt her fingertips grip the edges of her hair, realizing how out of place they’d become in such a short amount of time.

For a few minutes there was nothing but silence between the sisters. The only remote sound was Elsa’s breathing.

Unless Bruni happened to be shuffling around somewhere.

Elsa’s breaths were steady, but heavy. The more moments that passed the more Elsa realized how much of a lunatic she sounded like. The way she snapped at Anna was completely uncalled for. Her sister was only doing what she did all the time – she looked at the best possible situation. Of course she’d see the text message and automatically think something was going on. Of course she’d be thrilled for Elsa. But the truth was, Elsa couldn’t take that happiness. Not when she knew it was all in vain. She truly believed what she said; there was no place for her. There was no chance. But that didn’t mean she had to take it out on Anna. Anna had every right to just walk out the door.

But in true Anna fashion, she did the opposite.

She sat next to Elsa, lightly wrapped her arms around her, and rested her forehead on her sister’s shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Elsa,” she whispered.

Elsa clutched her hair tighter.

Oh Anna….

“No….” She exhaled. “I’m the one who’s sorry.” She took a pause, shaking her head lightly. “I just….” She groaned. “You wouldn’t understand.”

There was a pause.

“I never do, do I?” Anna realized.

Pause again.

“Can…can you help me try to understand? Please…?”

What was the point? It was the same thing every time. But when Elsa tilted her head slightly, just to be able to catch the faintest glimpse of Anna from the corner or her eye, she knew that for once she had to try.

Not try as in bs it.

Try as in actually try.

Sighing, Elsa forced herself to sit upright. She felt Anna scoot back slightly, remaining on the bed but giving Elsa enough space to think. What was a way to explain it in a way that would make the faintest amount of sense to Anna…?

“It’s….” The blonde’s brows furrowed. “It’s kind of like chocolate.”

Anna blinked. “Chocolate?”

“Well…. Yeah. You know how there are so many different kinds? Reese’s, Hershey’s, m&m’s, Kit Kats, Goobers, Sno-caps, chocolate chips…” she named.

“Oh my god those all sound so good!” Anna fawned.

Elsa shook her head. “I guess…. They’re kind of like people. The same way there are all these different kinds of chocolates, there are so many ways people choose to identify. And even within the existing chocolates, there’s even more varieties. They overlap. Just like identities do.”

Anna raised an eyebrow. “Ok, I’m confused.”

Maybe just speaking of chocolate in general was too broad. “Well then…. Think about m&m’s.”

“Oooooo what kind?” Anna asked eagerly.

“Well…maybe it helps to think about what you like. Say…say you only like plain m&m’s. Meanwhile Kristoff likes plain and peanut m&m’s. Nani likes plain m&m’s. I like peanut m&m’s, but only to a certain extent,” Elsa suggested.

Anna twisted her lips, thinking about Elsa’s terminology. She raised a finger, attempting to connect the dots in midair. First one in front of her, then one in front of Elsa, then two more. Back to the first one. Anna repeated the motion a couple of times, but ultimately seemed lost at the analogy.

Elsa pursed her lips. “Think about how many times you see m&m’s. In a store or in a commercial. Or anywhere, really. So…if someone really doesn’t like them, imagine how they must feel to have something thrown in their face that makes them so uncomfortable.”

“But why would anyone hate m&m’s?” Anna asked, confused.

“That’s the exact thinking. It’s…” Elsa paused to ponder the proper explanation, a simple one that Anna could follow. “Pretend for a moment you really don’t like m&m’s. That you want nothing to do with them. But everyone else around you insists they’re this incredible candy and that you must be crazy not to like them. They tell you things like, maybe you should try them. Or maybe you haven’t found one you like. But in the end it doesn’t matter what they say. You know that nothing anyone can say or do will change your mind. And nothing is going to change the way people look at you. Because there must be something wrong with you for hating that candy in the first place.”

Anna’s brows furrowed. “O…kay….” She dragged out the word in thought. “Ok, but….” She shook her head. “What about other people who don’t like them? Or people who only like certain ones?”

“Both do exist. But it doesn’t always mean they exist together,” Elsa admitted. “You would think that, because on some level they don’t like m&m’s, there would be a common ground. But it still gives people reason to shut others out.”

“Could anyone like them sometimes?” she wondered. “Like…I don’t know…maybe once in a while they’re just reeeeeaaaaally craving m&m’s but they only want them that one time?”

“There are absolutely people like that. Whether they crave one specific kind of m&m, or all kinds of m&m’s,” Elsa nodded. “But it’s not always enough. Because even if they do like any m&m on any sort of level, whether it is in passing or it fluctuates or for whatever reason, as soon as they say they don’t they’re looked at as a liar.”

“But that’s not the case at all. People are allowed to change their minds. What does it matter?” Anna asked.

“Some people are like that. Or they don’t understand. And when they don’t understand they respond with fear. Or worse. Hatred.” Just like father, Elsa thought.

A silence fell between the two.

“Elsa…” the younger realized, “have…? Have people treated you that way…? Because of that…?”

Elsa pulled in her lips. She could hear the fear and hurt in Anna’s voice.

What’s more…? She could hear the understanding.

“This is why I don’t talk about it. So people _can’t_ treat me that way,” she confessed. “Anna if you’ve read any of the horror stories I did…. You’d know why I can’t talk about it.”

There was another pause.

Then Elsa felt Anna’s hands reach over and cover hers. “Elsa…. You know that just because you don’t really want m&m’s…it doesn’t change how much you like this one…. Right?”

Elsa tried not to smile at her sister’s use of the analogy.

“Your attraction is not less than or invalidated because you may not or hardly or don’t or never want to do something with someone. It doesn’t make your feelings for Maren or anyone else any less real than mine are for Kristoff,” Anna promised. “What you have, what you give, and what you share are completely and uniquely you. However you choose to do or show anything, no one else will ever be able to do that the way you do. And if that’s not good enough for someone then they don’t understand how special your love is. And they definitely don’t deserve you.”

“Anna….” Elsa breathed.

“I really, really hope Maren does realize that. Because it sounds like she sees you exactly the way I do.” She squeezed her hands tighter. “You have been an angel, Elsa. You are an angel. _My_ guardian angel. I would not have ever gotten through anything without you by my side. It doesn’t matter anything we went through as kids, it doesn’t matter how much time we lost together, it doesn’t matter how many fights we had. You were always there for me. And you continued to be there. You did _everything_ after our parents, Elsa. You never let any of the burden fall on me. You’ve watched out for me. You’ve protected me. You took care of me. You did everything you were supposed to and more. Even if it meant giving anything up for yourself. You never mattered. But you do. You do, you always have and you always will. She’s been calling you the thing that I’ve thought of you this whole time. And I really, really hope that if you believe it coming from someone, it’s Maren or else this wouldn’t have gone on for so long with her.”

Elsa wished she could express true gratitude with everything her sister said. She wished she could believe her. Anna wasn’t saying everything for Elsa’s sake. She never did. Maybe sometimes when they reached a disagreement Anna sugarcoated something to convince Elsa to do the smallest thing, or maybe sometimes it took a larger fight for one of them to see the light. Even if Anna’s words worked temporarily, they were never a solution. Because as soon as she’d make something – _anything_ – sink into Elsa’s thick skull, Elsa would find a way to push it out. She’d allow the doubt, the guilt, the darkness, everything to creep back in. And suddenly Anna’s voice became drowned out again and Elsa would allow the negativity consume her over the love for her sister.

And it wasn’t even just about her sexuality.

It was about everything.

And this time was no different.

Elsa sighed, closing her eyes. “I’m no angel, Anna,” she whispered.

“Yes you are,” the younger insisted.

“But what about….” She stopped herself. No. She wasn’t going to bring that up. She swore she would never let Anna know about the guilt from that day. The only person who knew was Kristoff. It was the one secret of Elsa’s he would keep for her. As much as he hated keeping secrets from Anna and as uncomfortable as it made him, Elsa made it perfectly clear that it was the one thing Anna could never know. As long as she didn’t make him keep anything else, as long she never purposefully put anything else on him, Kristoff would keep that secret forever. Elsa intended to keep it that way. As much as it broke her and as much as it made her feel like anything but a so-called angel, Elsa was not going to break Anna with that. She was _never_ going to let Anna feel that way.

She exhaled, hoping to cover up her abrupt stop. “What about what father said…?”

Anna shook her head. “That was just his fear talking. Fear is what can’t be trusted. You can’t listen to that. What he said was wrong. And he used those words to put you down, to keep you down. You are _not_ any of those horrible things he said, Elsa. No one should ever be allowed to use words like those to anyone. Especially not to their own children. He was scared and confused and he…he just attacked. That doesn’t make it right. And mother using Gale as some kind of leash or, or lock for you? That was no better. I don’t think it means they loved you any less. And I know you think it very, _very_ different. And you have every right to. But you can’t equate their words or their actions to everyone else’s. Just because they reacted the worst doesn’t mean everyone else will. Look at me. Look at Nani…you said you told her, right? And she was fine?” She paused to see Elsa nod. “So don’t let the actions of mother and father control your perception of anyone else. I’m sure if they had more time they would have come around eventually.”

Time I took away from them, Elsa couldn’t help but think regretfully.

“But that’s not how it is. And it’s ok…. No. It’s not ok. But…but it also is because now you’ve seen the worst. So it means from this point forward you only get to see the best. You’ve been waiting for this, Elsa. For way too long. And I really, seriously hope that Maren is sincere when she calls you that. I just want you to have someone who sees you the way I do. You deserve that, Elsa. You deserve that and so much more. Please. Just give someone a chance. Give _her_ that chance.”

Elsa pulled in her lips. She wanted so much to believe what Anna was saying. If no one else could say anything else that would ever get through to Elsa, even if only for a moment, Anna would be the one person to change all of that. No matter how fleeting, she would be the one to help Elsa through the darkness. Anna could say that Elsa was there for her through everything; she could say Elsa did everything for her all she wanted. But the same very much held true for the younger. Every bad moment Elsa could recall, Anna was there. She was there when Elsa couldn’t sleep at night. She was there when Elsa was ridden with anxiety. She was there through the panic attacks. She was there when Elsa was running every possibility involving the company. She was there when Gale had to be put down. She was there when Elsa stayed up late working on her assignments. She was there waiting on the couch sound asleep when Elsa returned home late from work. She was there through the research, through the debates, through the drama, through the torture…through everything. Anna never gave up on her. She tried. She kept trying. Even today she tried until she was finally able to make a breakthrough with Elsa. And she was saying and doing everything in her power to get the messages through clearly to the blonde.

Why was it still so difficult for Elsa to accept all of that?

“Do you really believe all of that?” she couldn’t help but ask softly.

“Of course I do,” the younger answered without missing a beat. “I believe in you, Elsa. More than anyone or anything.”

That, Elsa could accept.

Anna would not fight as much as she did if she didn’t believe in her sister.

And there were absolutely no signs of her stopping any time soon.

“What would I do without you?” Elsa realized.

Anna smiled warmly at her. “You’ll always have me.”

Elsa shook her head. She wasn’t sure how truthful Anna was being there. Sooner or later they would have to separate their lives at least a little. Elsa may have had no clue what she was doing with her life, but Anna was student teaching. She was bound to find a job full-time at a school at some point. Probably move into a house. Get married. Start a family. She wouldn’t be able to drop everything at a moment’s notice to rush to Elsa’s aid.

But she did know Anna was being honest. It didn’t matter how often they saw each other. It didn’t matter if they talked face to face, over the phone, or on FaceTime. It didn’t matter if they saw each other once a week or every day. It didn’t matter what was going on in either of their lives. It would never change the bond they had. Nor would it ever change how much they meant to each other. And it would never change the unconditional support and love they always had for each other.

Realizing that, Elsa couldn’t help but engulf her sister in a tight hug. She felt Anna squeeze back with a force she never felt before. It was almost in relief. As if Anna could feel a weight that was being lifted off of Elsa. No, it wasn’t gone entirely; it was still partly there. Perhaps, on some level, it would always exist. But with Anna? Whatever was going on in Elsa’s life, whatever she was thinking or feeling, it would never change how Anna saw her. And it would never change that Anna was the one person who could always lift Elsa’s spirits. If there was anyone she could be at peace with; anyone who she knew would be by her side; anyone who would go to hell and back for her no matter what; it was Anna.

“I love you, sis.”

“I love you, too, Elsa.”

They squeezed each other for a little longer until Anna slowly pulled back. She took Elsa’s hands in hers again and exhaled. “Ok,” the younger decided, “now we breathe. In.”

“Anna, I’m fine. I’m actually fine,” Elsa promised.

“But this is how we’re supposed to make sure everything is out and we move on,” Anna reminded her. “Now. In.”

The blonde shook her head, but ultimately relented. She took a deep breath in as instructed. Anna seemed to mimic her, though not as deeply so she could still speak.

“And out.”

Elsa obeyed, slowly exhaling.

“In.”

She took a deep breath in.

“And out.”

Elsa closed her eyes and let out another long exhale.

“One more. In.”

She breathed in.

“And out.”

And on the last exhale, Elsa let out her calming melody.

_Ah ah oh oh_

It was the first time she didn’t have to use it to calm down. For once, she did it because she already felt relaxed.

She took in a lighter breath before letting the melody out one final time.

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

She opened her eyes and saw her sister beaming proudly at her.

“I knew you could do it.”

“I have you to thank for that.”

“Are you ok now, Elsa?”

“I think so.”

“And if this happens again…?”

“I’ll try to talk about it more.”

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

And she meant it that time. For the first time in forever she felt like Anna actually understood her. It didn’t feel like the burden to speak to her that it always did. At long last there was some way Anna was able to relate, even remotely, to what Elsa was thinking and feeling all that time. Not once did she dismiss anything nor did she react with anything other than acceptance as always, though perhaps a bit of confusion as well.

Oh god.

Kristoff was right.

She really did need to talk to Anna about everything.

She was going to punch him.

Huh.

She was going to punch him.

Now wouldn’t that be something?

“Soooooooooooo….”

Oh no.

There was Anna’s singsong voice again.

And that big, goofy, hopeful grin with that bright, twinkling, lovesick look in her eyes.

Here it came.

“Tell me more about Maren,” she sang.

“I really don’t think there’s _that_ much to tell…” Elsa shrugged.

“Oh! Duh, of course there’s not! You haven’t told her anything yet,” Anna realized. “You should probably start with a drawing or something for her. That’ll get the message across.”

Elsa blinked. Her eyes widened slightly. She pulled in her lips. Her hands stiffened in Anna’s grasp before she slowly pulled them away.

This suddenly got even more awkward than it should have been.

“Oh…. Well….”

Anna quirked an eyebrow. “Elsa…?” she asked slowly.

“I….” She averted her gaze. Her shoulders rose slightly. She tugged her lips to the side. She flicked her fingers slightly, courtesy of her fidgeting habit. She pulled her lips in once again and then bit the side of her cheek. She took a long pause that felt even longer thanks to the expectant gaze of her meddling sister. Finally, taking in a deep breath as she felt the heat rise to her cheeks, Elsa let out as quickly as she could, “Imayhavealreadysortofkindofgivenheradrawing.”

Anna blinked.

A long pause followed.

Too long a pause.

Anna simply sat there, frozen in place.

The pause continued with anticipation.

And then, before Elsa knew it, Anna exploded.

“YOU DID WHAT???”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's a lot happening here and it's tricky because the things that are directly affecting Elsa - her sexuality and her parents - are two completely different things but at the same time they are connected to each other. And it took a few attempts here to make the conversation flow on some level.
> 
> Anna means so well and she will always be Elsa's biggest supporter in everything, but her excitement over the mere implication of Elsa having a girlfriend is too much for Elsa to handle. Elsa believes so much that her orientation is wrong somehow or isn't enough. And i know, when i started roleplaying and coming up with characters who weren't straight, the food analogies helped me with the super basic understandings of how attraction worked. Even after i figured out i was ace, comparing everything to m&m's was helpful for me. Since my favorite is m&m's (and because Elsamaren is also known now to share m&m's) it only felt right to include that. And in their analogy i tried to allude to other orientations; like when Anna asks if people only crave m&m's sometimes or that one time, and Elsa implies that it can also be wanted in passing or fluctuate. Whatever someone's orientation is, it's not a one size fits all. And that's especially true with the ace umbrella. While i'm not sure if i will explore a more specific term for Elsa, the fact is that demisexuality, graysexuality, aceflux just to name a few, are just as valid. But there's also a sad truth that, with any orientation, even in the LGBT+ community, there can be gatekeepers or phobias. And even though Elsa hasn't been out enough to fully discuss it, i believe she would have absolutely done the research behind it or at least looked into everything on some level because Elsa is a logical person as much as a creative one. And, unfortunately, Elsa also spoke from a place of honesty and relatability (relateableness? relatedness? whatever the right word is) when she said there's no place for her. Because, especially with aspecs, and i'm almost positive i'm not just speaking for myself here, it's a very real thought.
> 
> i'm not gonna go so far as to say angel was triggering on some level to Elsa, but it in some way serves as the connecting point. She has not only Maren, but now Anna, thinking she's this pure and wonderful thing but she's so sure that she deserves the blame for her parents. And because she had chosen that morning to come out to her father and the reaction had been so horrible, how can she possibly be this wonderful creature that Maren and Anna think so highly of. Anna's choice of words following that was difficult because it was such a different balance compared to the one of her being excited and jealous back when she first visited the store. This time it was about the balance of validating Elsa's feelings while also staying very true to Anna as someone who looks for the best in people. She knows that both of their parents' initial reactions was wrong on so many levels but because Anna has the vast amounts of love that she does, she absolutely believes that given more time they would have come around. It's the what if's and the hopes that keep Anna going and she's very much trying to pass onto Elsa. And while i'm fully aware that taking a few lines directly from the movie in this instance was more cliché than anything, it felt right for the moment and it also felt accurate for the two of them. Because Elsa absolutely doesn't know what she'd do without Anna and Anna would want her to know that no matter what happens in their lives they'll always have each other. All Elsa has to do is imply and Anna will be there.
> 
> Having the chapter come full circle and end with another explosion from Anna felt accurate and all but confirms to Anna that Elsa is crazy about Maren and there's gotta be some kinda action taken there. Plus, as much as i love including Anna, i think Elsa needs a chance away from her to breathe for a bit. i'll leave their conversation about that drawing to your imaginations 0:)
> 
> That concludes this week's update. Sorry it was a day later than i said it would be, blame the damn congestion! i doubt i'm gonna get much writing done this week but there will probably be, with my luck, some brainstorming happening. Seriously someone tell me NOT TO WRITE THE THINGS! i'm not gonna make any promises when the next update will be, so let's just say the next chapter will be up sometime between Monday and Wednesday and we'll see how it goes from there. As always thank you guys so much for continuing to read this and put up with my sporadic updates. See you guys next week!


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the good news is that i am on the mend. Still a bit congested but overall the focus is back and i managed to get a little more writing done. And if all goes well, then i think i can see the ending within reach. The ideas are definitely there, it's just a matter of putting them all together and actually writing them down. But i'm not entirely sure yet how that's gonna work because i'm not sure how much time my laptop has left. She's hanging in there and is a fighter - this is probably the third or fourth time in the last three years i thought i was gonna have to get a new laptop! And she's proven everyone wrong every time but it doesn't look like there's much avoiding it anymore. i've got everything else written for this story backed up on both a flashdrive and Google Drive so the updates can continue to happen. But this may be the last update on my current laptop which makes me sad for a number of reasons. And i've definitely had my share of emotional moments over this that i've been trying to bury in binge watching, fan art, and mad libs. So i really hope this is a good note to leave everything off on (unless i can finish writing a damn good oneshot in the meantime). Not sure if this is the chapter you guys are expecting at all and i don't wanna tease anything, but there is either something you've remotely been waiting for at the end or something you didn't even know you needed. i'm hoping for the latter, but that's just me.
> 
> i also wanna put a little reminder/disclaimer here in the form of **prioritize yourself**. This isn't even just my sick butt telling you to do it because i was stuck staying home this week to shake off the sinus infection. It was touched on in a previous chapter, it'll be glossed over super briefly here, but please for the love of Bruni **take care of yourself**! Work and money may be important, but so are you. Whatever is going on, if you're sick or something happened or dealing with something mentally...whatever the hell may be going on, work is not worth it. Take whatever time you need before diving back in. You need it. You deserve it. Do what is best for you. Even if you have to imagine Anna yelling at you. A job is not worth it to slam yourself onto the ground with an anvil for. You are. **Prioritize. Yourself.**
> 
> i'll skip the comments here for the time being. Not that there's a lot or anything but i feel like i'm either gonna make my responses really short or blab on and on so for all of our sakes (and because you'll be hearing more than enough from me in the end note) i'll just shut up here and leave it with the simple thank you for the nice words about last chapter and the story in general and also ARE THE NICE WORDS SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME WANNA WRITE MORE STUFF?
> 
> Enjoy the chapter!

_How you feeling?_

_You got called in early, didn’t you? I’m sorry._

_Hey it’s a messy job but someones gotta make sure self scan doesn’t explode_ 😛

_It’s a kingdom, not a bomb._

_Former queen of self scan got jokes huh_ 😆

_I take my apology back._

It was only a small snippet of their conversation from earlier that day but Maren had to admit, it just felt good speaking to Elsa again.

No, it wasn’t the same as having her sitting on the other side of the table sharing chocolate with her. But she supposed it was a start.

Maren rested her head in her hand, staring blankly at the uncomfortably vacant seat across from her. No, it wasn’t right not having Elsa missing at all. Should she call her? Or was it better to send her a text? Unless Elsa really didn’t want to be bothered. She called out again for a reason, after all. Maybe she needed more time to herself. But then again, what could the harm be in simply reaching out?

Maren tugged her lips to the side and looked at the opened cup of Coca Puffs sitting in front of her. Then, straightening her posture, she used her phone to take a picture of it and attached the image in a new text to Elsa.

_More for me tonight_ 😛

She set her phone down and held her breath. That was ok, right? It wasn’t like she expected a response from Elsa. Nor did she _have_ to respond to the text. It was just something small. Not a big deal, right?

Maren’s eyes darted to her phone.

Why did it feel like a big deal anyway?

Then it vibrated. Was it Elsa?

Biting her tongue, Maren picked up her phone and unlocked the screen where she saw the response.

_You are not the only one with cereal at your disposal._

Huh.

Well she was right about that.

_You eating now too?_

The dots underneath indicated that Elsa was typing a response.

_I have a cat on top of me. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon._

Heh. Must have been Bruni. He was really milking Elsa being home for all it was worth, wasn’t he?

_Hi Bruni_

More dots, shorter-lived this time.

_Bruni says hello._

A pause.

_Are you on your break?_

Maren smirked. She was making this too easy.

_No I’m standing in front of self scan watching customers hit it with baseball bats and enjoying the scene while eating my cereal and waiting for Nani to come scream in my face_

Maren failed to fight a grin as she removed a few pieces of cereal from the cup and enjoyed them. She could almost picture Elsa’s frustrated reaction. Yet the blonde attempted to hide it with her response.

_Why don’t you tell me how you really feel._

Maren stared at the text.

She didn’t even know where to begin; there were so many feelings racing through her heart and mind.

I miss you.

I can’t wait to see you.

I want to hear your voice.

I want to make you smile again.

I’d do anything for you.

I love you.

But she couldn’t have said any of that, could she?

No…Elsa’s comment was strictly hypothetical if not teasing. Maren would have to choose her response carefully.

Taking in a deep breath, she willed herself to respond with what she hoped would not frighten her friend somehow.

_Can I call you?_

There was a pause. No dots appeared underneath. How was Elsa reacting to the text? Was it too much? Was she annoyed? Nervous? Frustrated? Anxious? Maybe Maren texted the wrong thing. She should have stuck with the teasing!

She quickly set the phone down, afraid of what to expect. She pulled her arms in, folding them across her chest. That was a terrible idea.

A couple of minutes passed before her phone vibrated. Maren reluctantly checked Elsa’s reply.

_How much time do you have?_

Ok. Ok, that was good. She didn’t scare Elsa off. She didn’t send her away.

Maybe Elsa missed their ritual just as much as Maren did.

She checked the time before typing.

_8 minutes_

There was another pause.

The damn breaks went by so quickly. Of course Maren’s would already be half over by now. And though another break would be given to her once the store closed for the night, Maren had been debating if she would take a second fifteen or opt for the half hour instead. But would Elsa want to talk again then?

_Ok._

Maren’s eyes widened.

She said ok.

She said ok!

Cool it, Maren, cool it, she thought, it’s not a lot of time. It’s not like you’re gonna do anything.

Letting out a breath, Maren switched from her texts to her contacts and scrolled to Elsa’s name. Though she had half a mind to change it to Angel, she didn’t dare. Not yet. Not if Elsa was still uncomfortable with the name right now.

Not to mention, Nani was the one who gave Maren Elsa’s number in the first place. If she saw that Maren changed Elsa’s name to that she’d never hear the end of it. And Maren did _not_ want to know what Nani was capable of!

After hitting the call button, Maren placed her phone to hear ear. She gulped, anticipating hearing Elsa’s voice for the first time that night.

Not that it should have been a big deal at all.

Because it wasn’t.

“Hey.”

Oh god her voice was so soft and beautiful!

COOL IT MAREN, she reminded herself!

“So you ditched us for your cat, huh?” Maren teased.

That was a close one.

“I would if I could,” Elsa joked.

Maren scoffed. “Ok, now you tell me how you really feel.”

There was a pause.

Oh shit did she say the wrong thing?

“I’m fine,” Elsa cleared her throat. “I just…. It was Anna’s idea. She insisted I take a second mental health day. If I didn’t listen I was never going to hear the end of it.”

Maren leaned back in her chair. “That good, huh?”

“Have you ever heard Kristoff do his Sven Voice?” Elsa asked.

“You mean the voice where he talks for Sven like he’s saying exactly what he’s thinking?” Maren chuckled. “All the damn time. Ryder thinks it’s adorable. Why do you think I can never get a pet with that ham as my roommate? He’ll do it all the time just like Kristoff, except his voice will crack and it’ll sound more a thirteen-year-old going through puberty. Been there, done that.”

“Heh.” A faint giggle escaped the blonde. “He’s been threatening to do a voice for Bruni. And if I didn’t stay home, Anna was going to personally make sure Kristoff would use a Bruni Voice. I am not torturing my cat with that.”

“So you’ll curse in front of him but you draw the line at dumb voices?” Maren teased.

“I do not curse in front of him!” she gasped.

“I don’t know, I think you secret have a dirty mouth,” the brunette smirked. “Remember when you cursed in front of me that time?”

“It was not that funny,” she deadpanned.

“No, no. It was,” Maren disagreed. “Admit it, Elsa. You curse in front of your baby.”

“Not my wording. And not what I do,” she replied. “How bad is it there?”

Maren placed a hand on her hip. “Do you really think you can get off the hook from this by just changing the subject?”

“Yes, because I am not listening to five more minutes of this,” Elsa said.

“Six minutes,” Maren corrected.

Elsa scoffed. “Please. I heard Nani last night. She made it sound like she’s some retail dictator.”

“Oh, she is,” Maren nodded. “You need to come back and save us.”

Elsa let out a laugh. “Well, when you put it that way I may just have to take another day off and let you put up with her for a little longer.”

“But the customers make it bad enough,” Maren complained.

“Well that is what you signed up for.”

“No need to punish me more over it.”

“Oh, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to do that.”

“Was it something I did?”

“I’m not at liberty to say.”

“Elsa, come on! I’m sorry. Please don’t do this to me.”

“I think you can handle Nani just fine.”

“Think about what your putting your work sister through, then. You really think that’s fair to Snow?”

“Oh no. You are not using Snow against me like that.”

“Depends. Is it working?”

There was a pause.

Maren could almost picture Elsa’s reaction. She’d probably blink or stare at Maren wide-eyed. She’d turn her head away and probably make some sort of motion with her hands as she always did. She’d purse her lips, not quite making them look like she was pouting but dammit it they didn’t come close. Then she’d scoff and give Maren some stubborn ass answer.

“You’re impossible.”

There it was.

Maren couldn’t help but smile at that.

“But that’s why you put up with me, isn’t it.”

“I can’t wait to see Nani bring your ego down.”

“Don’t tease me like that.”

“You can’t do anything about it now.”

“I have a phone. I have your number.”

“I can turn my phone off.”

“But I know where you work.”

“I think I know what I’m going to do with you tomorrow.”

Maren groaned. “Oh no…. Candy duty?”

She could picture Elsa’s smug look now.

“Candy duty.”

Maren pouted. “And here I thought we were cool.”

“I have no intention of playing favorites, Maren,” she stated.

A smirk crossed Maren’s lips yet again. “You saying I’m one of your favorites?”

Pause.

Elsa was staring blankly and looking like she was about to turn as red as a tomato or blow her head off, wasn’t she?

Her response came almost in the form of a growl. “Get back to work, Maren.”

The beeping indicated Elsa ended the call.

So she was going to be like that, was she? Two could play at that game.

Shrugging her shoulders, Maren returned to their texts.

_See you tomorrow Elsa_ 😉

Dots.

_As if there’s a choice._

Her smirk turned into a smile.

The playful back and forth was nice. As nice as it was to just talk with Elsa and connect with her, Maren almost hated to admit that the playfulness between them was just as entertaining. She liked pushing Elsa’s buttons in the best possible way. There was just something about it. Or maybe it was just something new Maren was learning about her. And Maren wanted to know everything about her.

Even if she could never fully act on her feelings.

But even through their banter, Maren would never stop openly admitting she cared. They were still friends; she didn’t want either of them to forget that.

_Miss you_

She sent the final text before locking her phone and gathering her items. Maren exited the break room and returned to the front end, securing her rightful place at self scan. Nani handed the card back to her and right away Maren had to summon the next person waiting in line to the open machine. No sooner had she stuck her belongings back under the spare register did she have to rush to help one of the customers.

It was going to be a long shift and she was less than half way through.

“The English muffins are supposed to be buy one get one,” the customer complained, “why isn’t it coming off?”

“You have to go to the payment screen,” Maren replied.

“I AM on the payment screen!” she insisted.

The brunette held in a groan.

“No, you’re on the coupon screen. You have to click the continue button at the bottom to see the sale come off,” she explained for what felt like the millionth time.

She lost count of how many times she had to say that each shift she was trapped at self scan.

No wonder Nani didn’t want to be known as the Princess of Self Scan. Was it too late for Maren to hand that title to someone else, too?

The customer begrudgingly did as she was told, but threw her arms to her sides in frustration at the outcome. “Nothing came off!”

Maren stared at the screen. No, no additional sales came off like they were supposed to. She glanced towards the other end of the belt; there were definitely two packs of English muffins there. She looked to the screen again and scrolled to up make sure both were scanned. Yup, there they were.

“Let me check the flyer.”

Thank god there was always one by the spare register. Maren removed it from behind the monitor and set it on the belt so she could properly look through the pages. English muffins were usually on the first page…where were they?

Did she mention how much she hated the sale on those things?

“Hey! Aren’t you gonna help me?” a customer yelled from another self scan.

“I’m in the middle of a thing! I’ll be right there,” Maren called.

Impatient dicks, she thought to herself.

She turned the page. Oh there it was. She took it over to the customer and pointed out the sale. “It’s actually buy one get two. So you have to get one more pack to get the sale.”

“Can you go get me a pack?” the customer asked.

Maren shook her head and closed the paper. “I can’t leave self scan.”

“But what if someone comes over to take my spot?” she complained again.

“I’m not gonna call someone over until you’re finished. You can run and get the muffins; your items aren’t gonna go anywhere,” Maren said.

Unless they get up, walk away, and drag me with them, she thought.

Actually, that didn’t sound so bad.

As that customer left to retrieve another pack of muffins, Maren went to assist the other gentleman who just couldn’t seem to wait. It turned out the machine was waiting for Maren to check his ID.

“What is it this time?” she inquired. “Alcohol? Cigarettes? Medicine?”

“I didn’t buy anything age restricted, I don’t know why it’s saying that,” he huffed.

Maren glanced at his order. There didn’t seem to be anything out of the ordinary at first…. And then she saw the culprit.

“It’s the lighter.”

“What??” he gasped.

She nodded. “Lighters and matches are age restricted. You have to be at least eighteen to buy them.”

“Look at me! I hit the mark ages ago!” he gasped.

“I still need to check your ID. It’s part of my job,” Maren said.

“I don’t need to show you my ID.”

“I’m just following the rules.”

“Look here, missy. I’m seventy-six years old. I’m old enough to be your grandfather. I got grandkids. I got great-grandkids. I don’t need to show no ID for a damn lighter.”

“It’s just policy. I have to see a license no matter what.”

“Then take the fucking lighter off. I’m not showing my ID for that. You’re turning this into such a socialist country! That’s the last time I come shopping in this dump to be treated like this!”

Shrugging her shoulders, Maren moved to pick up the lighter from the pile of groceries. She scanned her card and clicked the cancel button, removing the requirement for the man’s license. The screen remained red, signaling he wouldn’t be able to pay for anything. Clicking the option to void items, Maren then scanned the lighter, which removed it from the order entirely. She exited out of the assist menu and left the man to continue on with his business. She didn’t say another word to him as she walked away and dumped the lighter into the Crap Corner. Maren didn’t have the time or energy to deal with his shit, not to mention hear such ridiculous excuses. It was exactly what Nani warned her to be prepared for when she first started training for self scan. And, if Maren was being completely honest, after the douche customers that not only she dealt with but she had to see Elsa and the rest of her coworkers endure, Maren refused to let someone who was so picky about showing his ID get to her.

If only that would be the end of it.

“Excuse me!”

It was the first customer again. What now?

“What’s up?” Maren asked, walking over.

“The muffins still aren’t coming off,” she said.

Maren leaned over to see the screen. It wasn’t the same issue as before; at least this time the customer had enough sense to go to the payment screen and see if anything changed.

“Yeah, that’s weird,” Maren commented, “they’re on there. They should’ve definitely come off.”

“Can you fix it? I don’t wanna run back again,” the customer said.

Was there something in the flyer Maren missed? Should she check again?

She blinked seeing Nani rush past self scan.

“Hey Nani?” she called.

Her coworker halted and backed up momentarily. “What is it, Maren? I gotta get a price check on something.”

“Do you know if there’s an issue with the sale on the English muffins?” Maren asked.

“Oh those things?” she rolled her eyes. “Yeah, they’re selected varieties. Certain flavors don’t work with the sale.”

“I really don’t wanna run back and get one again,” the customer repeated. “I gotta get home and make dinner.”

“Did you get a plain one?” Nani asked.

The customer nodded.

“Void off one of the others and scan the regular again. The sale’ll come off at the end. Just let her have it. I gotta run,” Nani instructed before dashing off again.

Easiest thing I’ve had to do all shift, Maren thought. She followed Nani’s instructions and by the end, the sale came off without a problem. At least that customer actually thanked Maren for her help, unlike the other one.

“Next guest for self scan, register seven!” Maren yelled over the crowd. She returned to her designated spot in front of the machines and forced back a groan. How much longer was her shift, again?

“Rough night, huh?”

“I’ll say.”

Maren blinked.

Wait, who said that?

She turned her head towards her left and saw a grinning freckled-faced redhead standing beside her.

Maren blinked again.

This was…. Unusual.

Not even a customer standing next to her.

A smiling customer.

What the hell…?

The brunette furrowed her brows, completely lost. “Uh…. Can I…help you…?”

She blinked. “Oh!” She let out a laugh and then rubbed the back of her head. “Sorry, I guess you don’t remember me. Elsa’s my sister.”

Elsa was her…?

That’s right!

Anna did come by to visit that one time.

Maren remembered her now! She was incredibly friendly to everyone, tackled Elsa in a hug, and then ran out in frustration when Maren and Elsa shared their moment ‘parenting’ Snow.

Oh shit.

Did Anna come to punch her or something?

“Anna…? But…. But Elsa’s not here. What are you…?”

Not that she was trying to sound rude or anything.

Never mind that she was less than ten seconds into talking to her crush’s sister one on one and was already screwing it up.

What if Elsa sent Anna to spy on her?

No, that didn’t sound right.

Unless Anna _was_ spying.

Oh shit did Anna know?

“Oh, I know. I told her to stay home. Let me tell you, wooo, it takes A LOT to get through to that girl. I mean, have you seen that death glare of hers? It’s like she narrows her eyes and pouts her lips and you can just feel the judgment piercing through your soul like she’s mentally screaming at you, you should know better than to argue with her…oh, and then, and THEN she folds her arms and sucks in her cheeks like she’s trying so hard not to be angry at you cause you’re giving her your best puppy dog face and you know it’s working but she doesn’t want you to know that you know it’s working but you know that she knows you know it’s working….”

Suddenly Elsa’s occasional rambling made total sense.

Even if it was totally different from Anna’s.

Anna just went on and on and on, as if she could talk for hours in almost one breath if she were able to. Her voice was definitely not the same pitch as Elsa’s and there was a clear energy behind it. Anna spoke with a smile that ranged from small to huge, even stopping in between parts of her description to laugh, make or joke, or go off on a teasing tangent about something else her sister did before seamlessly jumping back right to where she started…. And then she went off track again and stayed off track. Elsa’s rambling was more…controlled, in a way. She never veered away from the topic, but rather just constantly switched her words up as if it were going to make more sense somehow. She’d do anything to avoid looking someone in the eyes and her eyes would widen almost in embarrassment, like she was terrified something she said would come out as wrong as insulting. Anna went on with no fear at all. It was no wonder Elsa lit up when she talked about her sister. Anna was a character.

Finally, Anna shook her head. She offered Maren a small smile and cupped her hands in front of her. Still, not quite the same way Elsa did. Anna intertwined her fingers together, almost…hopeful in a way. Elsa cupped her hands flat against each other and her fingers would wrap around the back. Kind of…defensively. Even the way they smiled when they did that was so similar yet so different. Elsa’s was naturally small, shy. If she was holding back in such a way, it was never visible. With Anna, a small smile didn’t seem to suit her. There was a clear restraint as if she just wanted to give the biggest, brightest possible one she could.

They might as well have been two sides of the same coin.

“Anyway, I…. I came to talk to you,” Anna admitted.

Maren’s eyes widened. “Wait…. Me?”

“Oh! Only if you’re not busy!” Anna realized.

Maren turned her head to look at self scan. Every machine was occupied. One was almost finished, cueing Maren to prepare to call someone over. Another light was blinking which meant she’d have to approach and offer her assistance.

“Uh…. Yeah, might wanna hold off on that for a sec.” She held up a finger to Anna and then walked over to the blinking self scan. “Everything ok over here?”

“It’s not accepting my coupon,” the customer said handing Maren the tag.

Maren examined the coupon. Save a dollar when you buy two Colgate toothpastes. Excludes trial sizes. Limit one coupon per customer. She then double-checked the expiration date…still valid. “Let’s have a look.” She wandered to the other end of the belt and gently dug through the customer’s items until she found the item in question. There was a two-pack of Colgates but that was all Maren found. “Did you get any others?”

“No,” they answered.

“That’s why. You only got one. The coupon says you have to get two of them,” she answered handing the coupon back.

The customer’s eyes widened. “I did get two.”

“No, you only got one. It’s a two-pack but it counts as one item,” Maren answered.

“But there’s two in there.”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“Why can’t I use the coupon?”

“Because you need to buy two of them.”

“I did buy two!”

“I mean you have to buy two separate ones.”

“Can’t you put it through?”

“Sorry. The coupon specifies two. You can scan the two pack again and then run back to get a second. But you have to scan two different Colgates for the coupon to work. Since it’s only on there once, you technically only bought one.”

The customer shook their head. “This is too confusing. I don’t want it then.”

Shrugging her shoulders, Maren obliged and voided off the item in question. She then took the pack of toothpastes and chugged it in the Crap Corner. “Next customer for self scan on register eight!” she yelled, stepping back to Anna.

And as soon as she opened her mouth to speak, the customer on register seven was calling for her. Groaning, Maren left Anna once again and went to help them.

At least that was a problem much easier solved.

Damn produce codes.

That time, when Maren returned to Anna, she couldn’t resist groaning and hitting her hand against her forehead.

“So no talking now, huh?” Anna guessed.

“Not unless you want a job here being trained in the wonderful world of self scan,” the brunette answered sarcastically.

Anna scoffed lightly. “Did you forget who my sister is? I can do this in my sleep.”

Maren shook her head. “So…uh….” This wasn’t awkward at all. “Why do you wanna talk to me? Is…is it about Elsa? Is she ok? Cause I just called her during my break. She seemed fine….”

Anna blinked. “You talked with my sister tonight?”

Maren nearly froze. Why did Anna say it like that? Like she was shocked? Like it could have potentially been a bad thing? Like she was deep in thought about something, her mind going a million miles a minute trying to connect some kind of dots? Maren bit her bottom lip.

Oh shit Anna knew!

Suddenly, Anna held up her hands and shook her head. “You know what? Never mind, that’s not important.”

Maren fought to hold in a sigh of relief. Not that it meant she was out of the woods. With how quickly Anna seemed to come to the conclusion to drop it, not to mention how quickly she actually said it, Maren had the strange feeling that she was in for more.

“Do you get a break tonight?” Anna wondered.

“I mean….” Maren dragged out her response. Was that a thing she should be telling Anna? Anna, the sister of the person that Maren had basically fallen hopelessly in love with and was trying desperately to not only conceal her feelings but fight them off and salvage whatever of their friendship she possibly could and never let Elsa so much as get an inkling of anything lest their relationship be destroyed completely. Not to mention she’d never hear the end of it from Nani.

Maren constantly questioned which one was worse.

“I should…?” It came out sounding more like a question than an actual answer.

“Oh. Ok,” Anna shrugged. “Do you mind if I just hung around the store and waited then?”

She said it so politely and innocently that Maren wasn’t sure if it actually was innocent or if she should be suspicious somehow.

“It…it’s not gonna be until after we close, so….” She stammered.

“That’s ok. I don’t have any plans. And it’s a nice night. I can wait outside,” she replied.

Maren opened her mouth to respond, but Nani took care of that for her.

“Aye, Anna! You can’t be coming in here without a mask! What are you, some kinda lōlō?” She stormed over and lightly whacked the redhead on the shoulder.

“Oops…?” Anna giggled nervously. “Sorry, Nani. Still waiting for mine to come in the mail.”

“I work with your sister, you know. If she finds out you been here parading around with no mask I’m gonna hear about it. I don’t need her riding my ass about anything, especially you,” she put her hands on her hips.

Anna groaned. “Nani, I’m fine! I’m keeping my distance from everyone else. I’m literally just standing here only talking to Maren.”

Nani glared at the redhead and pointed towards the door. “Out, Anna!”

“Ok, ok, I’m going,” Anna gave in. She pointed stubbornly at Maren. “But I’ll be waiting for you. And the joke’s on you guys if you think I’m gong anywhere. I’ve got chocolate covered pretzels in my car. I can sit out there all night.” She added with a playful grin, “All. Night. Long.”

Maren hit her forehead.

What had she gotten herself into this time?

“So.”

Oh no, not Nani, too!

Maren reluctantly turned her head to her supervisor and saw her towering over with a raised eyebrow. She put one hand on her hip, accentuating it to the side, and used her other hand to pull down her mask and reveal the most devilish smirk she’s held to date.

“What’d you do to Elsa this time, Casanova?”

“NANI!”

\---

Ok Maren, get it together, she thought, just because Anna wants to talk to you doesn’t mean she knows anything. It just seems like the most obvious answer. It could be something else. Just…think of what else it could be.

Maren paced briefly under the awning. She stepped outside for her second break two minutes prior and already poked around the corner to see Anna perched on the bench that sat towards the other end of the store. Anna said she wanted to talk to Maren…obviously that meant she wanted to talk to her about Elsa. So either something happened in the short amount of time after Maren spoke to her on the phone…or Anna knew.

Maren hit her head against the brick wall.

Who was she kidding?

Anna totally knew.

But how? She’d only been there once before, and it wasn’t even a long visit. She spent more time outside with Elsa than in the store.

But then again she must have talked to Elsa every day. Maybe Anna picked up on something during one of their conversations.

Or….

Oh shit.

What if Elsa knew?

What if she knew and told Anna?

What if Elsa sent Anna to let Maren down gently?

Or to tell her to back the hell off?

Or to plot something?

Of course that made total sense now. If Elsa knew, she wouldn’t want to hurt Maren’s feelings. She wouldn’t even be able to let her down easy. It took so much for them to get to this point in their friendship and especially after what happened…. They were fine now, but Elsa probably didn’t want to screw anything up either. And if Elsa knew about Maren’s feelings, she’d have no fucking clue how to react. She was just as worried about their relationship as Maren was. Of course Anna would agree to be the middle woman.

Maren exhaled deeply, reminding herself to breathe.

It was ok; she could handle this. Maren was already working on keeping her emotions under control. This would just be the push she needed to let it go completely. And then there’d be nothing standing in the way. They could go about business as usual and maybe Maren could focus on that damn magical voice instead.

Seriously, how long has it been since she even heard it?

Maybe that’s what she needed.

Ok, she reminded herself again, you can do this. Just…just walk over and brace yourself. You can take it. It’s for Elsa.

Straightening her posture, Maren made her way towards the bench. Upon closer inspection, Anna was contently munching on a bag of chocolate pretzels. That woman hadn’t been kidding earlier. Did a chocolate addiction run in their family or something?

“Hey…”

Anna blinked. She turned her head to see Maren and smiled at her. She swallowed the pretzel in her mouth. “Oh, hey! I’m sorry to take up your break like this. I’m sure you’d rather be inside eating something. You can have some of my pretzels if you want. I promise I didn’t eat them all….” She paused to peek inside the bag quickly. “Yet.”

Heh.

Maren shook her head. “It’s ok. I usually spend my break…”

She cut herself off. She usually spent her break with Elsa; she wanted to say. But maybe that wasn’t the best thing to say to Anna. She was already suspicious. And if this wasn’t going to end well, Maren didn’t want to dig a deeper hole for herself.

“I guess, wasting my break talking sounds more accurate,” she opted for instead.

Anna slid closer to the edge of the bench, making more room for Maren. She patted the now full empty spot next to her and then sat the bag of pretzels down. She waited until Maren was seated before she spoke again. “Oh…I think you can take the mask off. I’m pretty sure we’re ok out here. I mean, I know we’re definitely not six feet apart sitting here, but I think it’s ok since we’re outside.”

Maren had to admit, it was nice of Anna to start out with something simple to break the ice. And at least she sounded polite about it – unlike the customer earlier that night who refused even the free disposable mask from the customer service desk because they had a health issue and swore if they got sick from wearing it they would sue the store.

Yes, that was an actual comment.

Maren shook her head. “I should probably keep it on. Get used to wearing it more anyway.” Though, she preferred to keep it on so that way Anna couldn’t see her full reactions. The last thing Maren needed was for Anna to see how much the conversation would actually hurt her. Or worse – actually notice a blush on Maren’s cheeks every time Elsa’s name was mentioned.

“That’s ok,” Anna nodded. “I mean; I should probably get used to wearing them, too. But Kristoff only has one from work and I’m still waiting on mine. I could always borrow one of Elsa’s scarves in the meantime, but they make my neck itchy. Plus, I think I look like a gangster or a mobster or something out of a crime movie when I wear one.”

To that, Maren let out a chuckle. “You seem way too cheery to be a mobster.”

“Hey, I can totally be a mobster!” Anna cleared her throat and lowered her voice into a questionable accent…one that Maren swore was more vampire than Italian somehow… and pursed her lips as she pointed her finger at Maren like a gun. “Yo…this is a stickup, see? I’m gonna knock you out cold, see?”

Maren burst out laughing. “Ok, what kind of crime movies do you watch even?”

Anna groaned and rolled her eyes. “Ok, ok, I feel asleep the last time I tried to watch one. But it was just so boring!”

“Don’t let my aunt hear you say that. I used to wake up in the middle of the night to get a drink and she’d be watching some old black and white crime movie,” Maren commented. “She always said it was boring when I asked. Meanwhile she let me and Ryder watch so much questionable crap. We were allowed to sit through dark horror movies but not crime shows or Family Guy.”

“I don’t think you’re missing much. I never liked Family Guy, anyway,” Anna said.

Maren scoffed lightly. “What, you’d rather watch rom-coms and fairy tales?”

Anna shrugged. “What can I say? I’m a hopeless romantic.”

The woman certainly had no fear or shame; that was for sure. She seemed more and more like a reverse mirror image of Elsa.

Anna tugged her lips to the side, squinting her eyes slightly. “Hey…” she spoke almost as if she were in thought, “can I ask you something? About Elsa?”

Oh shit. Here it came.

“Uh…w…what about?” Maren attempted to ask as casually as she could.

“Just…” the redhead shrugged her shoulders. “Well…what is she to you?”

Maren blinked. What was Elsa to her? How the hell should she answer that? Where would she even begin?

“Wh…what do you mean?”

“I mean you do see her every day. You work with her and she kind of is your boss,” Anna said. “But is that all?”

She asked it so simply. Was that all? As if that was all it was supposed to be. As if that was all _Elsa_ was supposed to be. Except it couldn’t be further from the truth. Suddenly Maren was taken back to what Ryder said in the beginning; how her coworkers were going to end up being her best friends. She didn’t realize how true it was until she started talking to him about Snow and Elsa. Now Anna was reminding her of that all over again. Was that a common thing with everyone’s younger siblings? To just constantly remind their older one of something and proceed to rub it in their faces for the rest of their life?

Yeah, probably.

“You know, it’s kind of funny. When I started working here I didn’t expect to get close with anyone. I took the job so I could make some money, buy some food, and keep a roof over mine and Ryder’s heads. I never spent too much time getting close to people. I did some traveling for a while after school, so I never stayed in one place too long. Even now, being back in school, I never really connected with anyone. Yeah, I got along with some of my classmates and shit. But it’s not like I considered any of them my friends. Not the way Ryder does; he could make friends with anyone,” Maren explained. “But being here, spending the time I do with everyone, going through the exact same shit they do, this being our only chances to actually get out and do something…. They did become my friends. All of them. Even Nani, and no one loves screwing me over as much as her.”

To that, Anna giggled.

Maren shook her head. “Nani drives me crazy. Ella is always there. Snow’s my sister. And Elsa….” She paused to figure out the right way to word it. How to make it sound meaningful without totally giving away her feelings? She wanted Anna to know that Elsa was important to her. That she valued her. That she cared. That she was absolutely amazing. Maren pulled in her lips, hoping her mask covered her blush. “…I can’t imagine her not being in my life now.”

There was a pause. But Maren couldn’t bring herself to meet Anna’s gaze. She wasn’t sure if Anna was looking at her a specific way or if she was thinking or if she completely made the connection…. There was no doubt Anna knew something was up. If only Maren could just throw her off a little bit further. Maybe her friendship with Elsa was still salvageable.

“It’s kind of funny you say that,” Anna shrugged. “Elsa was the same way when she started. She came here not knowing how long it was gonna last for or knowing exactly what she was doing. Oh…! Probably don’t tell her I said that.”

“Heh,” Maren chuckled.

Anna shook her head. “Anyway…. Elsa never got close to people either. She spent so much time by herself, closing herself off to everyone around her…. I guess I just worry about her. She’s had so many opportunities to make friends and live her life and for some reason she just…she always let herself take a back seat.” She furrowed her brows. “I guess what I’m trying to say is…. Elsa doesn’t get close to anyone. Ever. So seeing her with her coworkers and talking about them the way she does, and with you…. I just wanna know that she’s in good hands. I want her to be ok.”

Maren shifted her body so she faced Anna a bit more. “I would never do anything to hurt Elsa. Not on purpose.”

“I believe you…. I think…” Anna admitted. “It’s just….” She tugged her lip to the side before meeting Maren’s gaze. “Elsa’s actually getting close to you. To, to all of you, kind of. And it takes _a lot_ for her to do that. I’m not sure if you realize what a big deal that is.”

Maren held in a sigh. If only Anna knew how untrue that was. No, Maren didn’t completely understand. But in her mind she didn’t have to; she just had to respect Elsa. And that was a no-brainer. For reasons unknown to Maren, Elsa had her guard up. And slowly but surely she’s been letting it down around her. Elsa had even gone so far as to let Snow initiate physical contact with her. She let someone else hug her. Maren couldn’t even bring herself to reach out with more than the smallest touch of her hand; because the last thing she wanted to do was make Elsa uncomfortable or make her feel like she owed Maren something somehow. And even though Maren truly believed that in that last instance she almost certainly would have kissed Elsa, she was also aware that the simple act of holding her hand was a big deal. Elsa wouldn’t have done that if she weren’t comfortable. But she had also been in an incredibly vulnerable position. Who was Maren to take advantage of that? To take advantage of Elsa? Even if it were in the most innocent of ways by squeezing her hand?

“I’ve seen how Elsa is around everyone. And I know how she is,” Maren finally spoke. “I get what you’re saying. Elsa’s super selective with who she lets in. For her to open up on any level to me…. That trust means a lot to me, Anna. _She_ means a lot to me.”

“She’s my sister,” Anna reminded her.

The retort…stung a little. It shouldn’t have, but it did. It was a note that somehow Maren had completely forgotten for a moment. No matter how much she cared about Elsa, no matter how much she believed Elsa meant to her; the one person in Elsa’s life that would always win was Anna. Whatever Maren felt about Elsa, nothing could compare to how her sister looked at her.

“I’m not saying I don’t think you care about her. I’m not saying I don’t believe you. But she is my sister. And she means everything to me,” Anna continued. “Elsa has gone above and beyond for me. No questions asked. And I know if she had the chance, she’d do the same for anyone else. That’s what Elsa does…. That’s what she _always_ does. Her wants, her needs… _her_ …come second to everyone else. That’s why she drops everything in a heartbeat for me. It’s why she works as much and as hard as she does. She may be your boss and maybe to everyone else here she’s the Ice Queen or whatever name you guys gave her but to me? To me she’s….” She paused, cutting herself off with almost a blank stare. A stare that Maren couldn’t quite put her finger on. What was going on in Anna’s head to make her stop like that?

Anna let out a breath. “She’s been my guardian angel. And I won’t…. I. _Won’t_. Let anything happen to her.”

The wording she chose. The tone she used. The emphasis. The ferocity. Almost a pure urgency in her statement. Anna knew exactly what she was saying.

She wanted to see Maren’s reaction. She wanted to push Maren. Despite the energy and the goofiness that was Anna’s nature, she was nothing short of serious in her statement.

She knew.

She knew Maren’s name for Elsa.

How, Maren couldn’t say for sure.

But Anna knew.

And she was trying to get Maren to admit to that. To admit to more.

And the fierceness and passion she spoke with? The…almost warning tone…she used? There was no way in hell Anna was going to let anything happen to her sister. Whatever Maren might want or try to do to protect Elsa, Anna would do it tenfold. There was no way in hell she was going to let Maren hurt her sister, the most important person in the world to her. She wanted Maren to know that she meant business. Whatever Elsa was to Maren, however Maren felt, Anna was going to have none of it if it meant hurting Elsa in the process. She would go to hell and back if it meant saving Elsa.

And for all Maren knew, Elsa might very well need saving from her.

If she couldn’t keep her emotions in check, it really would all be over.

Maren sighed in defeat. “What did she say?” she asked in a small voice.

“That doesn’t matter,” Anna answered sternly. Then it was her turn to sigh. “I’m sorry; that’s not what I meant.” She shook her head and allowed her voice to return to its normal tone. Warm. Welcoming. Friendly. Honest. “I’m trying, Maren. I’m trying really hard not to meddle or throw myself in here. I know it’s not my business. I know I can’t protect Elsa from everything anymore than she can protect me. And on some level…I know I have to let her go. But….” She exhaled. “I don’t want to force anything out of you. From either of you. That’s not my place and I know that. But it’s really hard for me not to try. It takes so much for Elsa to open up to people. This is a huge deal. _You_ are a huge deal and I…I don’t want to be the one to stop her from anything. But I swear Maren, I swear on my adopted fur son, if you so much as do anything – _anything_ – to Elsa I’m going to punch you in the face.”

Maren opened her mouth to speak but was quickly cut off by Anna’s continued rambling.

“No, scratch that. I’m not _just_ gonna punch you in the face. I mean; I’m gonna start with punching you in the face. But then? Then I’m gonna throw you against the register and strangle you with a plastic bag and I know that doesn’t sound bad or threatening at all but let me tell you, I’ve seen Sven wrestle with those things and it’s not pretty. So I will use that plastic bag. Then I’m gonna use that plastic bag to tie you to self scan so I can go by a frying pan and smack you across the face with it…which, yeah, sounds silly but believe me when I say they hurt. Wooo, you should see my cousin work a frying pan. She has a MEAN right hook! Anyway! Anyway, then after I use that frying pan I’m gonna lock you in the break room and make you scrub it with a toothbrush because I know you guys sell toothbrushes and…well it’s not exactly like you have any closets in the store and I don’t really wanna lock anyone in a closet cause I know the euphemism for that…is that even the right word? Whatever. I know what it means and I just, I’m not going there. But then, THEN! You’re not even gonna be done cause you are gonna use your life savings to buy a one-way ticket to Norway and drag your ass to the Dead Sea…”

“Uh…the Dead Sea’s in Israel,” Maren corrected.

“Oh,” Anna blinked. “Huh. Ok then.” She shrugged her shoulders and quickly returned to her rambling. “You’re gonna buy a one-way ticket to Israel, I’m gonna drag your ass to the Dead Sea and I just…I don’t know, I haven’t thought much further than that. I’m gonna leave you there just make sure you don’t ever come back!”

Maren couldn’t help but arch her back and pull her body away from Anna. That was…. A much more descriptive blabbing than Maren was used to. Not to mention surprisingly dark coming from Anna. She was surprised there was no mention of running her over with a car.

Then again, maybe Maren should keep her mouth shut before she gave Anna more ideas.

Maren took in a breath before sitting straight up again. She kept her gaze as calm as she could possibly muster, knowing full well what she was about to say. And that she had to stand behind it a hundred and ten percent. There was no room left to falter. Nor any room to go back. She had no more chances to screw up.

“Elsa means a lot to me, Anna. I’d do anything for her if she asked. And I know she would never. But I don’t take for granted anything from her. I know how hard it is for her to open up. And I know it took a lot for her to trust me with anything. I’m not gonna do anything. I won’t do anything. I….”

I love her, she wanted to say.

But she knew she couldn’t.

Not now.

“I care about her. A lot. I’m not gonna do anything to jeopardize our friendship. She trusts me, Anna. I know she does. I won’t…I _can’t_ …lose that.”

Anna narrowed her gaze, seeming to take in everything Maren was saying. Whether she believed her or not, Maren couldn’t say for sure. There was…hesitancy. Maren could see it in Anna’s eyes. She knew Maren wasn’t giving her the whole truth. Whatever that meant to her.

“Ok,” she finally said. “Ok, I…I believe you. Just….” She softened her gaze. “I just wanna know one thing. Please.”

“What is it?” Maren asked.

“Why do you call her that?” Anna wondered. “Why…. Why that name?”

That name.

She wondered why Anna didn’t say it for herself. Did it feel weird to her? Did she realize it meant something? Was it sacred in a way? Was it only for Maren?

That would be something.

If no one could call Elsa Angel except for Maren.

It really was her name for Elsa.

Maren averted her gaze slightly. She almost felt embarrassed about how it all started, because she really didn’t mean for it to become something so much more. “It…it slipped out at first. It…. I don’t even know where it came from. I just know the way she deals with customers, the shit she puts up with, the way she is with us…. It felt right, I guess. And I know that’s wrong to say because it doesn’t make any sense. But…. But I didn’t realize how true it was until I got to know her better. It’s not just some façade Elsa uses with customers. It’s not just the way she is with us. It’s not just everything she deals with at work and treats it like it’s nothing. It’s…. It’s like you said. She’d do anything for anyone if she could. I know she would. Even though she always has this wall in front of her…she always keeps herself closed off somehow…she always, always, lets everyone know how much she cares. She puts her heart out on the line even if she doesn’t mean to. She shows it with everything she says and everything she does. When it comes to Elsa…she doesn’t put herself second. She puts herself last. And she looks guilty if she doesn’t. Her job means so much to her for some reason but us? It’s like…we mean more to her somehow. Even if she doesn’t always say it. But she shows it. She shows it when she looks out for us or she asks us if we’re ok after dealing with a customer or…. She’s always thinking about us. You said she goes above and beyond for you. But it feels like she does that here, too. She doesn’t have to. She doesn’t have to do anything except be our boss but…but she’s so much more than that. Nani calls Elsa the Snow Queen or, or the Queen of Retail or whatever but…. She’s not totally wrong. Elsa is a queen. And she deserves to be treated like one. But she comes here and deals with us, and all of this…. And she does it day after day with no break or time for herself.”

Maren paused. She raised a hand up and then dropped it almost in defeat. As if there were no other words left to describe Elsa. Nothing else could remotely do her justice. She brought her brown eyes up to the sky, noticing the faintest hint of the moon above them.

“I know we say this about Snow and Ella all the time. How they’re in one of the lowest possible fields, treated like shit and looked down on like shit but they come in with the best possible attitudes and somehow, they make it better for us. They make us happier being here. But it’s also true with Elsa. It’s just…more subtle, I think. You’d never know it by looking at her because she does guard herself so much. But the way she talks to us, the way she cares about us, the lengths she goes to for us…even to protect us from douche customers…. She’s just…. She’s the warmest person. Only an angel could make that possible.”

Even that one simple comment – Elsa being the warmest person ever – didn’t do her justice. There was no purer way to possibly describe her and yet…somehow it also said it all. How could it feel so accurate and yet so lacking at the same time?

If only Maren could completely register the way Anna was looking at her.

Oh, she could still very much feel Anna’s gaze on her.

But there was no way she could bring herself to return it.

She didn’t want to know what it looked like.

She didn’t want to be slapped with that reality.

She didn’t want to know how much she gave away in that moment.

And she absolutely did not want to hear an ‘I told you so’ or ‘I knew it’.

It was torture enough getting those stares from Nani on a daily basis. She didn’t need it from Anna as well, the person who could very much confirm to Elsa how real Maren’s feelings were and ultimately destroy their friendship in a matter of seconds.

That was probably why Anna’s soft voice took Maren by surprise.

“I can tell how much you care about her. And how much she means to you.”

As quickly as Maren stared at Anna from the corner of her eye, she pulled her gaze back.

“And you’re right. About all of that. It makes me really happy to know that someone else finally sees Elsa the way I always have. I just wish she could see that about herself, too.”

Maren’s face fell at the realization.

No, Elsa never did believe her, did she?

No matter how many times Maren called her Angel.

Just because Elsa accepted it didn’t mean she believed it.

“Me, too,” she confessed quietly.

Silence fell.

After another few minutes, Anna stood up and stretched. She walked around to Maren’s side and offered her a hand. Maren blinked at it in surprise but ultimately took it, allowing Anna to help pull her off the bench. Anna opened her mouth, looking like she was about to say something. Then she closed it. She tilted her head, raised an eyebrow, and twisted her lips. The look she was giving Maren…she was inspecting her somehow. What was it that she wanted to say? What was it that she _wasn’t_ saying?

Finally, Anna gave her the faintest smile. Whether it was one of sadness, defeat, or acceptance, Maren couldn’t tell. It definitely wasn’t Anna’s full smile.

“I’m just glad Elsa found people that care about her so much. She deserves that and so much more,” she spoke. Then, with a small shrug of her shoulders, her smile tilted towards one side, accentuating her chubby cheek, and pushing up her eye. The way she did that almost made it appear it was glistening somehow. Or like there was a glimmer of something behind it. What was up with that? “You’ll be really good for her, Maren.”

What did that mean? ‘You’ll be really good for her’? Did that mean it was ok that she stayed friends with Elsa? Did that mean Anna trusted her? Or was Anna implying something else? Did she really think that…?

No.

No, Anna wouldn’t.

And Maren promised her nothing would happen.

She had to make good on that.

But the statement still made no sense to Maren.

“Wait, what?”

At that, Anna giggled quietly. Then her smile grew. It was back to the smile that she came in with. The warm and welcoming one, a smile that could light up the world. And with it came something that Maren would have never expected.

“Consider this from my sister.”

Anna leaned up and pecked Maren’s cheek.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANNA TAKING ONE FOR ELSA AND ACTUALLY TRYING TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE FOR HER TOO CLUELESS SISTER AND GET THE POINT ACROSS TO MAREN! i know you guys have been making the Kiss the Girl jokes and just eagerly waiting for the Elsamaren kiss and i didn't wanna tease this moment too much and get anyone's hopes up but i really hope this was something you didn't realize you needed or at least it's the next best thing. Anna does NOT play when it comes to matchmaking!
> 
> This was partially my excuse to get as much out of Anna as i possibly could and partially because it felt like Anna wasn't done after last chapter. (Probably because she so obviously wasn't.) Originally i thought about making the entire chapter an interaction between Anna and Maren, especially since that hasn't been a thing in this story yet. But then i thought, well how would Anna get to talk to Maren alone if Elsa's at work with her? As selfish as Anna probably was telling Elsa to stay home, she means it when she said **PRIORITIZE YOURSELF DAMMIT!**
> 
> That also gave the excuse for some much-needed texting between Elsa and Maren. It's not quite the reunion yet but there's some obvious NON-ACCIDENTAL flirting happening there. And some much needed fluff after the heaviness of the last few chapters. To go from Maren's break to working to talking to Anna felt a bit more natural as well because if you've ever had to watch self scan and tried to talk to someone at the same time, this scene is not an exaggeration. If anything it's the opposite because there's A LOT more customers in between to deal with. (Sidenote, yes, the customer with the lighter is a true story. The argument about showing an ID, the comment about the country being socialist because of that, throwing a fit and wanting the thing voided because they'd rather not get it than follow the rule and show an ID when we ask...it's a horrible cycle.)
> 
> Anyway, i just kind of imagined now that Anna knows about Elsa's feelings she would wanna get a better reading on Maren. And it was kinda treading on three different feelings there because on the one hand she's so excited for her sister, but on the other hand she's being so protective of her because this is the first person Elsa's shown any interest in, but then also throw in some meddling.... Anna absolutely knows how serious this is for Elsa and what a big deal in general it is and she wants to make sure that if she's going to share her sister with anyone it's going to be the right person. So she's kinda pulling out all the stops and laying everything on the table including a very dark threat which i probably should not have enjoyed writing as much as i did. i don't know how much Anna actually wants to share Elsa with anyone, but i do think she and Maren are kinda in the same boat now. They both have this incredible person in their lives who they care so deeply about and are kinda both so used to, at this point, having Elsa to themselves. And especially in regards to Maren's feelings, it's not just Maren that's affected but also the people around her. 
> 
> Anyway, that's my whole messy thought process in attempting to explain how i put this together. Take it for what it's worth or just enjoy the pure messiness of it all. So this is where i leave you guys for the week. i'll see when i get the next chapter up. It is going to be a filler more than anything, but hopefully still a nice welcome break from the angst and a calm before another storm. Because it's retail so when isn't there a storm! Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. i will be burying myself in Frozen fanart and rewatching the Owl House in meantime. And as for anyone who is starting school in this pandemic, hang in there and i wish you guys the best of luck! Please be as safe as you can and make sure to take care of yourselves. <3


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news - yes actual good news for once! i may actually be able to go back to _two_ updates this week! Can't make any promises it'll be consistent because part of that does depend on my sporadic work schedule. (And it's been INSANELY sporadic!) But i do have enough written now to do two weekly updates for a couple of weeks, especially since writing a whole chapter yesterday. And what's even crazier is, after writing that, i can definitely see the end of this story. But that doesn't mean it'll be THE END. i may have mentioned i have a _ton_ of material to work with and a few ideas i'd like to continue in this AU. So there's a very real possibility that there will be a story following this one at some point.... You know, if i can actually plan from the beginning and have a faint outline of what to do and where to go.... And if i can come up with a name for it.... And if you guys would actually be interested in it. All very big if's! So with all that said, time to jump into last chapter's commentary!  
> @Hugo_renfield - Maren is an idiot and Elsa is clueless. They're perfect for each other! <3 i am now totally not imagining Anna and Maren in business suits and Anna grilling her even MORE about dating Elsa lol!  
> @Ann - It's so fun to write Anna, and for some reason the threat especially! i think it is just cause she's so high key but it's also because she loves her sister so much. But every time i write her quirky or energetic side it just feels like permission to go all out. lol of course Anna doesn't count, but i wonder how Elsa would feel knowing Anna got to Maren before her! XD  
> @fanficfruitts - I'M SORRY BUT SOMEONE HAD TO MAKE THE MOVE ON MAREN BECAUSE ELSA BEING TOO CLUELESS TO DO ANYTHING. ANNA WILL GLADLY TAKE ONE FOR ELSA xD Trust me though, if i can get my sh-t together and everyone wants, the story may not be infinite but the AU sure as hell will!  
> @RobinPercher - It's so funny you say it feels like there was just Chapter 20 and now we're 10 chapters ahead, meanwhile i looked back on my Word file and i started writing this in mid-April so i'm just, holy crap where DID the time go XDD i have no idea what kinda reactions i was expecting from Anna kissing Maren [for Elsa] but like i said, someone's gonna step up for Elsa and it's definitely gonna be Anna!  
> @holographicbubbles - You can be as coherent or uncoherent (is that a word?) as you want, i just care that you're enjoying it on some level LOL. Dude i am right there with you, i felt Elsa's statement on a personal basis as i was writing it and not that i wanna hurt anyone with this because i'm really trying not to, but just reading the relatability to it is selfishly validating for me, too. And i will virtually send you some m&ms to go with the chocolate ice cream if i have to, i have like four bags sitting in my cabinet begging to be eaten! XD  
> LyDIO - No matter how many times anyone says they willingly binged this or spend so much time catching up on it, it's just so mind-blowing to me how enjoyable it is and the nice things everyone has to say and i just feel like i can never say thank you enough for everyone who does that, but thank you so much!
> 
> Now sit back and enjoy this obviously filler chapter that i attempted to fill with some fluff as a nice transition point before more hell breaks loose because, yes it's retail so it basically _is_ hell.

“Oh my goodness! How adorable!” Snow chirped.

If there was anything that could lift Elsa’s spirits after a crazy shift, it was Bruni.

Snow being her usual adorable self didn’t hurt, either.

Admittedly, Snow didn’t squeal with the usual energy or delight she typically had. But a long, stressful day would take its toll on just about anyone.

Elsa was especially feeling the aftermath of said shift.

This was likely karma getting back at her, Elsa supposed, for taking the extra day off in the first place. Cogsworth called in the morning asking if Elsa could come in any sooner. While she wouldn’t be working another double specifically, it would definitely be at least ten hours.

Eleven would turn out to be the final count, as she ended up clocking in at noon.

Elsa didn’t recall all the details; only that it had something to do with backing everyone up on register. They would be short at least two cashiers…something about cleaning was as far as she got. That was certainly something different; why would Oaken take not one but two cashiers off register just to have them clean for the entirety of their shifts?

Unless it was Radcliffe’s doing. That, Elsa was more likely to believe.

While she understood the importance of maintaining a clean store – more so than usual courtesy of the pandemic – it made no sense as to why any of the cashiers were being made to do such work. If anything, the cleaning they should have done was on the registers. Why did they need to go about cleaning the whole store as well?

Elsa had even been instructed that, when she take over running the front end, to have someone under her follow up with an extra round of cleaning. Thankfully Ella volunteered, being the saint that she was. But she still should not have had to do that.

Not simply just because she was needed on register; but also because Ella spent so much time at her other job cleaning. Why must she be obligated to be some kind of maid twenty-four/seven? It was an insult to the blonde.

And while, regardless, Elsa didn’t mind jumping on register when necessary, the influx of the usual issues added nothing but more stress to the day.

There were the customers who still refused to acknowledge the one line and ended up cutting under the caution tape or around the blockade to check out sooner.

There was one particular customer who refused to wear a mask because he was Catholic and it was his body, his choice. The irony of the statement had not been lost on Elsa. What she wouldn’t have given to be able to punch him.

Then she had to sign off her register to assist Nani at self scan. One of the machines kept eating customers’ coins and had to be rebooted multiple times. Needless to say, that put them down not just one cashier for the remainder of the night but also one self scan.

On top of that, there was now a limit not just on the toilet paper, paper towels, and hand sanitizer – the limit on water was just lifted the day before, Elsa had learned – but also on meat. Specifically, no one was allowed to buy more than two packs of each variety. That had been fun to explain. Not.

One customer was trying to buy four value packs of beef. They had to decide which two packs they specifically wanted out of the four.

Another customer wanted three packs of salmon, two beefs, a bag of chicken nuggets, and two packs of chicken breasts. They had to forgo one of the salmons as well as decide between the two chicken breasts or one chicken breast and the bag of nuggets.

A threat followed to bring in her large family shopping next time to prove she needed all that meat.

Not only had some of the frozen meat gone to waste as a result, having no one to run them back to the freezers throughout the day, but the coolers had never been so full of excess meat.

Nani swore if she saw one more pack of meat she was going to puke. And Maren planned on avoiding burgers for at least the next month. Elsa did not blame either of them.

Thank god it was after closing now and it could just be Elsa and Snow in the break room fawning over Bruni.

Elsa absolutely had no objections when Snow asked to join her for her half. Though, admittedly, she had been looking forward to picking up her routine with Maren once again, Snow was absolutely welcome while she waited for her uncle.

It was also nice to finally be able to share Bruni with someone else. Maren played her part with that, Elsa supposed. With the way she had responded to the first video Elsa had shared, the blonde became much more comfortable with the idea of showing off her fur baby to others. Of course, the decision to open up about him to Snow was an easy one. The girl did not have a mean bone in her body. Granted, Elsa didn’t go into nearly as much detail as she did with Maren. Snow didn’t need to know about the potential abuse Bruni may have narrowly escaped, not to mention how others would have looked at him in the past. Snow dealt with more than enough of her fair share of the horrors of the world courtesy of retail and had already been through so much at her age. Elsa wanted to make sure to shield her from anything else for as long as possible. Hell, to an extent Elsa had very much done the same with Anna in the past. So to treat Snow in a similar manner required no second thoughts.

“I would absolutely love to have a fur baby,” Snow mused.

“I didn’t think I would get another cat after my last one,” Elsa confessed. “But Bruni and I just so happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

“How did you come up with his name?” the teen wondered. “Did you always want to use it?”

Elsa shrugged. “I don’t know. He’s just…he’s always been Bruni.”

Truth be told, Elsa could not recall how he got his name, let alone if it was her or Kristoff that named him. It was difficult to imagine Bruni ever being anything or anyone else.

“I think it’s perfect,” Snow complimented as Elsa locked her phone. “Uncle Grumpy thinks the names I’d choose for pets are a bit silly. But between the rules of the retirement home and Uncle Sneezy’s allergies, I suppose it doesn’t matter much.”

Elsa blinked. “Uncle Sneezy?”

The teen nodded. “He has horrible allergies to a lot of things.”

Made sense.

“I don’t believe there is ever a bad name for a pet. It just has to be something that fits them,” Elsa commented. “My first cat got her name because, when she ran to avoid people, it was like a gust of wind rushing past us. So we called her Gale.”

“Most of the names I’d want to use are food related,” Snow admitted. “My first choice would be Berry. It’s short and simple, but I also really love berries. And I think it could be nice for a boy or girl.”

“Is that why you buy a pack of berries every week?” Elsa teased lightly.

“Well sometimes my uncles want some as well,” Snow giggled. “But it’s like how you buy chocolate every night, isn’t it?”

“I do not buy chocolate every night,” Elsa commented.

She paused.

“Maybe every week,” she mumbled.

Snow giggled again. “Maybe that’s what you should name your next pet.”

“Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. I think Bruni was meant to be an only child,” Elsa said. “His play dates with Sven are more than enough.”

“I think it would be wonderful to have siblings. But I also want to make sure I get to use all of my names,” Snow replied.

“So who would Berry’s sibling be?” Elsa wondered.

“Hm…” Snow thought aloud, “maybe Muffin. I especially love blueberry muffins so I think Berry and Muffin would go well together.”

“I remember baking muffins with my mother,” Elsa mused. “When I was little, every Sunday night she and I would make chocolate chip muffins. Anna was so picky then; it was the only thing she would eat for breakfast.”

“That sounds wonderful,” Snow smiled.

“It was,” Elsa admitted. Before it became complicated, she thought as she took a sip of her water.

“I think my favorite name I’d want to use though is Honeycake,” Snow said.

Elsa barely registered anything besides ‘honey’. As soon as the word escaped Snow, Elsa lost her grip on her water bottle. It plunged to the floor as she broke out in a series of coughs.

“Elsa, are you alright?” Snow gasped.

“I…I’m fi-hine,” she coughed, hitting her chest. “Ju-hust…ch…ho…king….”

Never mind that it was over the fact that the word ‘honey’ escaped anyone else’s lips besides Elsa’s. Why would Snow even use that name in the first place? Was she trying to hint at something?

Oh shit what if she knew?

Had Elsa said it the last time they were all in the break room together?

Did Snow ever overhear her use that name at any point?

Did she notice any of Elsa’s texts to Maren?

Or that Maren’s name in her phone was actually Honey?

Snow couldn’t have known…. Could she?

“Are you sure?” Snow asked worriedly.

“Po…hos…i…tive…” she coughed. Elsa let out a few more series of coughs before reaching down to pick up her spilled water. She was going to need a new drink tonight, it seemed.

And maybe something stronger when she got home.

Maybe she could buy a bottle of Seagram’s or something when she clocked out.

“Do you think it’s a bad name?” Snow’s eyes widened.

“What…? N…no, of course not…” the blonde stammered.

Eerily similar to Elsa’s Honey, perhaps.

She meant to Honey.

She meant Maren.

Dammit.

Snow’s lips tugged to the side. “I know it seems a bit silly,” she admitted, “but I love baking cakes for everyone. And I also love honey flavors. It…it was actually my mother’s favorite, too.”

Elsa blinked. “Is that so?”

Snow nodded. “My father used to joke about my mother putting honey on everything. So he was really happy I got that from her. It makes me feel closer to her a little.”

Huh.

Snow felt closer to her mother because of the taste of honey.

Could that have been why Elsa found herself using that name so much more often now? Because it made her feel closer to Maren? Because she _had_ been getting closer to Maren?

Huh.

So that was what it was like to be close to someone besides Anna. To actually want to use someone’s name so much. It…it felt kind of nice. Elsa couldn’t help but allow a faint blush to creep onto her cheeks. She really had gotten closer to Maren, hadn’t she? Maybe that was why she looked so forward to sharing their breaks again. Why she was comfortable texting her. Why, when they were in the same room together, she felt so at ease.

“Elsa?”

The older woman blinked. She turned her head to Snow. “Hm?”

The teen’s face lit up. “Are you smiling because you like honey, too?”

No, it wasn’t the same honey. In fact, Elsa had never quite been a fan of the flavor before. Although honey lemon tea always helped her feel better when she was sick. Perhaps she should consider giving the taste another try.

Especially considering the actual honey that was on her mind.

“Yes…. I do,” she admitted.

Snow smiled widely and clapped her hands together. “Wonderful! I can bake us some honey cake one day!”

Elsa smiled lightly, albeit a bit crooked. “Throw a few chocolate cupcakes in and you have a deal.”

“I would love to!” Snow exclaimed.

“Oh….”

Speaking of Honey.

Maren paused in the doorway. “Sorry…. Am I interrupting?”

Maren? Interrupting? Never!

“Of course not,” Elsa promised.

Snow lit up instantly. “Yes, join us, Maren!” She jumped out of her seat and ran over to her pseudo-sister, grabbing her by the hand and pulling her to the empty seat across from Elsa. She waited until Maren was seated fully before reclaiming her spot next to Elsa. “I’m so happy we get to do this again! Aren’t you, Maren?”

“Oh…oh yeah. Uh…of course,” Maren paused, seeming to snap out of whatever thought she had been lost in. Her gaze fell on Elsa. “It’s good to have you back, Elsa.”

Elsa felt the blush return to her cheeks as she averted her gaze slightly. “It’s good to be back…. Well, for the most part. I can’t say today was ideal.”

“Hey, it was better today than with Nani in charge,” Maren commented.

“It was just different,” Snow commented, ever the beacon of light.

Elsa scoffed faintly. “Don’t let Nani hear any of that.”

“Pffft, I don’t care. Nani’s got it out for me anyway. I can handle her,” Maren smirked.

“Is that why you called her a retail dictator?” Elsa teased.

“Hey, you agreed with me,” Maren countered.

“It was a comment, not a fact.”

“No, no, it was definitely a fact.”

“Is there an authority issue I should know about with you?”

“Just that I’ll take a retail queen over a retail dictator.”

“Why does everyone insist on calling me that?”

“Because you’re Queen Elsa of Retail.”

“I did not approve that.”

“But you approved Snow Queen?”

“That was all Nani.”

“It’s always Nani.”

Snow giggled.

“What’s so funny, Sis?” Maren wondered.

“I just really missed this,” the teenager smiled. “I’m so glad to have everything back to normal.”

Back to normal.

But was it really?

They were still in the middle of the pandemic. Everything was still a mess. Nothing about the world right now was normal.

Not to mention, Elsa always felt anything but normal. And now, with a bit more acceptance as to whom she was and what her feelings were…was anything actually normal? Or was it different somehow? And if it was, was it a good different? Or would it potentially cause another rift between her and Maren? One that couldn’t be repaired yet again?

“Me, too.”

Maren’s surprisingly soft voice broke through Elsa’s thoughts. She brought her gaze to her coworker across from her. For once, Maren held almost a shy smile as she shrugged her shoulders and clarified her confession.

“I missed this, too.”

Snow stretched and let out a yawn. “I hope it stays like this for a while. I like having this time together after work.”

Elsa tilted her head at the teen. “Why don’t you rest while you wait for your uncle? You look like you’re about to fall asleep.”

“Oh, no! I’m fine, I promise,” Snow quickly shook her head.

“Admit it, Sis, you’re a tired old coot like the rest of us,” Maren teased.

“Maren!” Elsa scolded.

The brunette stuck her tongue out playfully. “Well, it’s true.”

Snow stretched her arms out again. “But I haven’t been working nearly as much as the two of you.”

“That doesn’t matter. You’re still only sixteen and you need your rest,” Elsa told her. “Put your head down and shut your eyes for a few.”

“I don’t want to keep Uncle Grumpy waiting too long,” she yawned.

“We’ll let you know if your phone goes off. Don’t worry about a thing,” Elsa promised.

“Not like we’re going anywhere anyway,” Maren added.

“Are you sure?” Snow asked.

“Positive,” Elsa nodded.

The teen paused. She pulled her lips in as if to think, but it was short lived. She let out another yawn and nodded. Snow leaned towards the side, curls about to brush up against Elsa’s shoulder. The blonde flinched at the sudden movement, but Snow must have been alert enough to catch it.

“O…oh! I’m sorry….”

But what did Snow have to apologize for? She was tired; she had every right to be. And really, what was the harm in letting her rest her head on Elsa’s shoulder? She probably shouldn’t be putting her head on the table anyway. Not to mention….

Snow was so much like Anna.

In the beginning, before Elsa fully opened up to her sister, Anna was hesitant about making physical contact as well. She wasn’t sure what Elsa was comfortable with. She didn’t feel like they knew each other as well as they should have. She always asked. And even when she forgot, it was never on purpose or to make Elsa feel comfortable. If anything, it had been for Anna’s own well being. It was so she would feel better. How could Elsa have ever denied her that? How could she deny Snow any of that? The teen had been nothing but understanding of Elsa and her space, and she never let a day go back without thanking Elsa for what she did or letting her know how mazing she was. What kind of person did that and expected nothing in return?

Only Anna and Snow.

Maybe in time, Elsa could fully let herself out to Snow as well.

Elsa shook her head once, her look softening. “It’s fine.”

The teen blinked. “Are you sure…?”

No, Elsa would never be sure about allowing contact with someone. She was still unsure of how close she would want to physically become with anyone on any level, let alone who with.

But she was sure about Snow.

That was why Elsa gave another nod. Snow began leaning to the side again, likely giving Elsa those precious few extra seconds to anticipate the contact. Elsa closed her eyes and inhaled. She could feel Snow’s soft, thick curls flattening against her shoulder before she felt the full force of the teen’s head. There was a slight hardness to it as well, likely from Snow’s headband. It was a bit uncomfortable, but almost preferable. It felt like a nice balancing act in a way, making Elsa feel as though she had something other than a person actually on her. Elsa breathed in and out slowly, allowing herself to acquaint herself with the new sensation. Snow was lighter than she thought she’d be. But it was kind of nice. It almost reminded Elsa of her sister nights with Anna, when they would stay up late watching a movie and Anna would fall asleep against her.

Of course, Anna was a snorer so there was that.

Maybe it was because Snow was relaxing more than actually sleeping, but there was no snoring to be heard. Instead her breaths were light and Elsa could almost feel the girl’s chest rise and fall against her arm. Finally, Elsa opened her eyes and looked to her pseudo-sister. Snow seemed so at peace. Relaxed. Like she was exactly where she needed to be. When was the last time Elsa felt like she had to be relied on this way?

Oh, it was one thing at work. She was likely stuck with having to carry the weight of the store and everything that came with it for as long as she’d be at Oaken’s.

But this…?

Elsa couldn’t recall the last time she felt like Anna needed her.

Maybe it was after she sold the company and both sisters finally had a proper opportunity to come into their own.

Maybe it was when Elsa made a friend in Kristoff, allowing herself to open up even on the faintest level to someone other than Anna.

Maybe it was when Anna and Kristoff started dating and he was all she could talk about.

Or maybe it was when they became serious and talked about moving in together.

Or maybe it was when Elsa moved into her own apartment so Kristoff could move in with Anna, allowing them to officially start their lives together on some level.

The truth was, Elsa needed Anna a hell of a lot more than Anna needed Elsa.

It almost felt nice to be needed like this again. To just…be someone else’s shoulder.

When Elsa’s gaze finally lifted and she looked towards the other side of the table to Maren, the brunette’s eyes widened and her head suddenly turned. Elsa blinked. Was…. Was Maren watching her that whole time? With some kind of…. Softness?

Not that Maren wasn’t soft or warm!

Just somehow, from her, who so often seemed to have this confidence about her…. It was almost unexpected. There was an aura that seeped from Maren that Elsa couldn’t quite put her finger on. Something…. Different.

And not at all because, for a split second, that Elsa thought there was a blush on Maren’s face.

Even if it did highlight some freckles she never knew existed.

Elsa felt a blush creep to her own cheeks noticing that.

And realizing that Maren had been staring at her.

Or…them, she supposed.

Maren cleared her throat. “S…sorry….” She kept her voice lowered in case Snow really was falling asleep. “Guess…. I just didn’t expect that.”

“I didn’t, either,” Elsa confessed just as softly.

“It’s almost like you never left at all,” Maren commented. She glanced to Elsa from the corner of her eyes, allowing a small yet crooked smile to cross her lips. “It’s…. It’s cute. Watching you two together. You’re amazing with her.”

Elsa’s face felt overcome with heat.

She wondered what Maren meant by that.

If she and Snow were cute together.

If simply watching their interactions were cute.

If Elsa was cute.

She pulled in her lips and toyed with her fingers in her lap nervously. “It…it’s a team effort.”

“Maybe,” Maren shrugged, “but Snow looks at you like you’re the coolest thing since crispy m&m’s.”

Elsa shook her head. “It does not compare to the safety she feels around you.”

“I may be the tough one, but you’re clearly her favorite.” Maren’s sideways grin caused her cheek to pop out. “Can’t say I blame her.”

There was that blush again. Elsa hoped Maren didn’t notice.

“Heh.... You saying I’m one of your favorites?”

“Depends…. Does it get me out of candy duty?”

Elsa scoffed. “Not a chance in hell.” She paused to scrunch her nose. “And crispy m&m’s? Really?”

Maren blinked. “What? They’re the best!”

“No, they’re severely overrated.”

“Crispy was the one decent flavor m&m’s ever came out with.”

“As opposed to?”

“Remember the disaster of candy corn m&m’s?”

“We do not talk about those under this roof.”

Maren snorted, trying and failing desperately to hold back laughter.

“You were not here when we tried selling them on Halloween. We were overflowing with reduced candy corn m&m’s on Christmas. They went down to thirty cents by January!” she argued.

“Wait…wait…” Maren laughed, “are…you telling me…you actually got _sick_ of m&m’s after that?”

Elsa narrowed her gaze. “You did not have to see those ghosts continuing to resurface for months on end.”

Maren scoffed. “So what, you were still finding them by like, Easter or something?”

Elsa deadpanned her. “Yes.”

The brunette blinked. “Wait, what?”

Elsa allowed the faintest smirk to creep back onto her face. Maren may have been getting her laughs out now, but Elsa could not wait to see the look on her coworker’s face when she, too, one day would be drowning in expired and unwanted candies. “Oh you are definitely getting candy duty now.”

Never mind that it would selfishly be a bit for Elsa’s benefit as well. Having Maren on candy duty meant she could stay up front with Elsa while she worked. And that, if it wasn’t too busy, Elsa could help her. That could talk while they worked. Stay close together. Spend more time together. Would it be so wrong for Elsa to use her powers as a manager to keep Maren close to her? Maybe, with any luck, inch forward for the right time to….

“Do I at least get some more pics out of it?”

Elsa blinked. “Hm?”

“You know, of that little king of yours,” Maren clarified.

“Who?” Elsa raised an eyebrow.

Maren scoffed lightly. “Bruni, duh. You showed him to me the first time during candy duty, remember? If I gotta go through that shit again, at least give me a little something to look forward to.”

Elsa shook her head. Maren almost spoke of it like it was part of their routine. Even though it only occurred once. Yet it was still somehow second nature. Maren would go through the candy, Elsa would pass by and play a quick clip of Bruni or show her some photos of him, Maren would make a compliment, Elsa would blush, and then candy duty would resume. Why was it so easy to picture that exact scenario? As if it were meant to happen time and time again? Maybe it would give Elsa an excuse to show more pictures of Bruni to Maren.

Huh.

She wanted an excuse to show more pictures of Bruni to Maren.

But that wasn’t all there was to it.

“What even brought that comment on?”

“You don’t think Bruni’s a little king?”

“He’s my fur baby.”

“You’re starting to sound like Ella.”

“That’s not the point.”

“So what is?”

“Maren.”

“Elsa?”

“Really; what brought on the sudden king comment? I know you didn’t just pull that out of your ass.”

Maren’s cheeks puffed out completely, as if she were about to let loose a fit of laughter.

Elsa rolled her eyes. “Grow up, Maren.”

“You really do have a secret dirty mouth,” the shorter woman laughed.

“Maren.”

“You use that around your fur baby?”

“Maren.”

“Anything else you’re not telling me?”

“Maren.”

“Seriously if you say fuck…”

“Honey.”

Elsa’s eyes widened as the nickname escaped her.

At least it got Maren to shut up.

Even though that wasn’t the point.

Not entirely.

Elsa froze and pulled in her lips, the only movement being the darting of her eyes between Maren and Snow.

Did the teen hear her?

Did she hear them?

Did she know?

Was she secretly listening?

Oh fuck she totally knew.

Oh fuck, there was that f bomb.

How soon before she let it out in front of Maren?

Suddenly Elsa’s gaze was removed from them entirely and she forced it in the other direction. What was she thinking? Using Maren’s other name in front of someone else like that? Once more, what was she thinking using that name at all? Especially when Maren hadn’t used Elsa’s? What if Maren stopped it entirely? Surely then Elsa should as well.

No matter how much she liked it.

Or Maren.

Or them.

There was a long silence.

“Well….”

Maren’s voice steadily rose through it.

“I mean…. Isn’t it obvious…?”

Elsa paused.

“Apparently not….”

Was her face still red?

“Well….”

Maren’s turn to pause.

“What better fit for a queen than a king?”

There was that damn heat again.

Could they open a window?

No?

Dammit.

Elsa was unsure what about that statement surprised her more.

Was it that Maren called Bruni a king? Not that he wasn’t…. Elsa was sure that Bruni could very well be a king. Just because he didn’t act much like one didn’t mean…. But then again, Maren only saw one video of him. Maybe Elsa sent a photo or two? Even so, Maren didn’t know Bruni. She didn’t meet him. She didn’t see for herself how he was in person. How he acted. What he did. She just knew that he was important to Elsa. That he was special. That he was her fur baby.

Dammit Ella, for making that term catch on.

Was it that Maren described Elsa as a queen? Though, in retrospect, that shouldn’t have been entirely shocking. How often had any, if not most, of Elsa’s coworkers jokingly referred to her as a queen? Be it the Queen of Self Scan – a title she could have sworn she already passed to Nani – or the Snow Queen or the Queen of Retail? Elsa never approved of any of those names, by the way. They just…. Happened. And they stuck. For some reason or another. And since then, somehow, everyone always thought of Elsa that way. So why should Maren think of her any different? Unless it was that _Maren_ thought of her that way. Was it really that different compared to how everyone else saw her? Should it really have sent chills down Elsa’s spine to hear that from Maren? Was it a confirmation that Maren thought so highly of her when, in reality, Elsa never would have imagined such a thing? Was it that Elsa really hadn’t expected it from her? Or was it because she missed Angel? And somehow, in Elsa’s distorted mind, she was using queen as its replacement?

Or was it how plainly Maren said it? How she didn’t seem to give it any second thought? How she described it as the most obvious thing? How it _should_ have been so obvious? She said it almost as if…as if everyone saw Elsa that way. As if they _should_ see Elsa that way.

But there was one other thing Maren said. Something that didn’t totally sit right.

‘What better fit for a queen than a king?’

There was one thing Elsa could think of.

She had no idea what possibly compelled her to say it. She couldn’t begin to fathom how, in that moment of all times, Elsa felt comfortable enough to even imply anything. Unless it was the amount of the time she’d gone without Maren. Unless it was the comfort she was feeling. Unless it was something as simple as the right moment.

She wasn’t even sure if Maren heard her say it, because it was so damn quiet.

Hell, for a moment Elsa was even unsure if she said anything.

But it didn’t change the fact how fucking good it felt.

And probably a hell of a lot better than when Elsa would finally say fuck in front of Maren.

Not that she intended to do that any time soon.

“I’d prefer a queen.”

“Hm…?”

Wait, what?

Oh shit what did Elsa just say?

Did Maren actually hear her?

She’d better not have!

“CANDY DUTY!” Elsa yelled, jumping out of her seat. She paused. Elsa’s eyes fluttered, realizing how quickly that had come out. Clearing her throat, hoping it would also clear the pink from her cheeks, Elsa stood straight and cupped her hands in front of her. “Uh…. Now. We…we have to do candy duty…. Right now.”

“Ugh…”

The softest groan escaped Snow. Elsa didn’t even realize until hearing that sound that she had practically shoved the teen off of her when she jerked out of her seat. Elsa’s eyes widened, watching the girl prop herself up from the ground.

“Oh my goodness!” the blonde gasped. “Snow…I, I’m so sorry…. Are you all right?”

Snow’s pale hands clutched the edge of the table pulling herself up the remainder of the way. She used her free hand to rub one eye. She pursed her lips and squinted with her other eye, seeming to have been woken up from an unexpected slumber. “Uncle Grumpy, is that you…?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this turned out to be i think one of the shorter chapters this story, and i apologize if it's too obvious that it's a filler. That being said, consider it something calm and easy before another storm hits. Not only do we need a moment to breathe from everything that happened in the last few chapters, but also not everything at work has to be insanely crazy.... It just usually is. Once in a while we're granted the blessing of a break from crazy retail stories and the same is very true here.
> 
> Well, for the most part. Doesn't mean they completely avoided any annoying customers. The brief narratives of Elsa's shift? All true, from cleaning to needing to shut down a self scan because of money problems to the meat limit. Although, as far as the latter is considered, my store only had that rule for like two weeks. That had been a fun time. But i'd go back to dealing with item limits over cleaning the store. Let's just say my coworkers and i have been told to clean things that are not part of our job. Sidenote, yes i have found a ton of seasonal items months later. Last year my coworker and i found a pumpkin spice flavored thing in the throwbacks in March. Damn seasonal ghosts.
> 
> The name conversation between Elsa and Snow is admittedly a bit silly, but in a way it makes sense for Snow because of her naivety and childlike nature. The names that Snow mentioned are actually the names of her Palace Pets and while i personally don't understand the point of them, realizing that one of them actually is named Honeycake i couldn't resist at all typing Elsa's reaction to someone else using the name Honey in any sense at all. Of course we all know the only Honey around is Maren and only Elsa can use that name! ;) Speaking of names, Bruni has his own nickname now. Back with one of the Cat Bruni chapters, a certain comment from Fanficfruitts referred to him as "our king Bruni" and, so much like with Maren's nickname of Casanova, i couldn't resist finding a way to fit it into the story. And that's something i love about your guys' comments, because it's things like that that inspire more ideas for this story and just add more to it.
> 
> In the grand scheme of things a fluff-like filler chapter may not seem like much. But right now between school starting up again, political chizz, and the pandemic still going on, we could definitely use something happier and more laid back. As much as i enjoy projecting my frustrations and problems onto fictional characters, that isn't the only solution for distractions and they deserve a break just as much as we do. i don't promise the same for next chapter, but if anything about this story remotely continues to distract you guys from the real world for a little i'm more than happy to oblige. As of right now i aim to get the next chapter up either Friday after my shift or maybe sometime on Saturday so long as i'm not called in. (Off on a Saturday unrequested? Mind blown!) For anyone who's starting school this week or has started already, please stay as safe as you can and do your best! Everyone who's stuck continuing to work in this hell hole? Hang in there, i have total faith in you guys! i'll see you all later in the week and, with any luck unlike Maren, i will not be stuck on candy duty! xD


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies in advance for the super long Author Notes here!
> 
> We finally reached the proclaimed Struggle Chapter! This was originally gonna be Chapter 26 and i planned for it to directly follow the aftermath of the day of Elsa's parents. It would've taken place the day after and, especially after Snow realizing/figuring out/commenting/insert your interpretation here that Maren's in love with Elsa, this chapter would've been...i don't know if the right terminology is more dramatic or the stakes would've been raised. Because i had such a specific vision for this chapter and, while some things stayed the same there were also a number of changes. And there were certain struggles that came with figuring out who's POV it's work better from as well as working out interactions between characters. If you guys remember, i did try to take a pass at this earlier and the ending came out different than expected; and while i had no issues with that, it felt.... Ugh how to say this without spoiling anything...? It felt like, for what ended up happening, would be too soon. That it was something more final-ish, but not really. i know, that probably doesn't make much sense at all. But having this chapter later definitely worked out for the best because it gave the characters certain things to work through and things that needed to be said and done. If i had figured this chapter out any sooner, it woud've been WAY too soon. And it also wouldn't've led to the chapters i wrote immediately following this one.
> 
> Originally i started this chapter in Elsa's POV, and the beginning of it worked out pretty well with her being all in her head and daydreaming about Maren, and there were some moments from there that ended up here that i think did work out. But when it came to the execution and dialogue, it felt forced. So i did what i did with the phone conversation chapters, trying to write some of this from Maren's POV and see if it'd make a difference at all. i got all of a couple of lines out of it (spoiler it's the way she describes Elsa's appearance). And there'll be a better, long-winded, pain in the butt, overdone explanation in the End Note but what i'll leave you guys with before you dive in are two and a half comments. For what needed to be done in this chapter and what needed to be accomplished, the POV change was definitely necessary. Starting the chapter with an actual Retail Story definitely helped easing into it as opposed to having a few paragraphs of description before diving into the madness. And there was definitely a character shift that needed to happen. So i hope that the back and forth i had with this and the extra time i spent writing, rewriting, editing, and daydreaming, paid off and that it doesn't disappoint!
> 
> As for the comments last chapter, i think it's best if i just actually respond to each one even though everyone seemed to have basically the same reaction which was fangirling over Elsa saying she'd prefer a queen. So good to know that went over more than well! With any luck, by the end of this story Elsa will have her queen in the form of Maren ;)
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - Edits have been done to this chapter since it was originally posted in September, primarily in the interaction between Maren and a certain ghost from her past. Major thanks to Ravrav for letting me spam them with rewrite after rewrite after rewrite by the way! They were a HUGE help! But the reason for the edits is because it was brought to my attention some of the wording could be...problematic. To the point where it could depict Maren in a horrifying light that is not only untrue but not a thing i would ever write or support. And i also wanted to give a slightly better idea of the relationship she had actually had with this person as well as kinda lead into some of the underlying self-confidence issues Maren has, which is what i expanded on slightly by, after rewriting this as well as Chapters 33 and 35, added a few sentences throughout the story here and there about Maren worrying about messing things up. Because she had messed things up so much with this person and blames herself for it. The end note explaining my thought process for this particular character has also been edited to reflect changes in the chapter.]
> 
> Alright everyone, take a deep breath and dive in! [EDIT - Possible Trigger. Please note that it's meant to at the very least imply that the character in question does come across as homophobic or deals with internalized homophobia, which i will attempt to address and explain both in the end note here as well as again in Chapter 35. So heads up when you are reading certain interactions between Maren and Attina.]

“Sir, you really can’t be in here without a mask.”

Not that it had been too long since it was made official everyone had to wear masks – or a face covering of some sort – when they left the house. What was it, only a week? Maren didn’t expect everyone to catch on that quickly. What she did expect, albeit stupidly, was for people to listen and follow the rules.

She should have known better when it came to the world of customer service.

“What?” the older man questioned, pushing his cart closer to Maren.

Strike two; completely disregarding the six-foot rule. Awesome.

“You’re not allowed to shop in here without a mask or bandana or something,” the brunette clarified.

“I got a medical condition. I can’t wear no mask.”

“Doesn’t matter. Rule is you need one.”

“I don’t have to do anything.”

“It’s a state law. You have to wear something.”

He shook his finger at her. “That’s where you’re wrong. There ain’t no laws about nothing. No state has any laws about telling us to wear anything.”

“Law, mandate, whatever,” Maren shook her head. Details were not her things; they were Elsa’s. But this was not something Maren felt necessary to call her supervisor/crush about.

Her supervisor!

Just her supervisor!

Not the point.

“But it is the store’s policy. We have signs up for a reason,” she continued. “If you don’t have a mask you can ask to borrow one from customer service.”

“I’ll do that after I’m done shopping. Not,” he retorted before turning around.

Naturally, going in the opposite direction of the arrow taped to the floor.

Why did no one pay attention to the damn directions?

Granted, Maren was just as guilty as not following the arrows as anyone else. The difference was, she mostly did that after hours when the only ones left in the store were her and her coworkers. Not in the middle of her shift when customers were still out and about.

Maren puffed out her cheeks, attempting to keep her frustrations under control. No. She wasn’t going to do anything. She knew her coworkers. Whichever cashier he would go to, that coworker would comment and tell him to cover his mouth. If he gave them a hard time, then Elsa would likely be called.

Or better yet, maybe Nani could give him a piece of her mind.

And punch him in the face for Maren.

That would be nice.

“Let me ask you something.”

Oh no. Why was the customer coming back to her?

And why was he coughing without covering his mouth?

Of course it had to be right on the handle of his wagon.

Someone was going to need to give that a damn good wiping down later. Suddenly Maren understood why people so readily tried to sanitize the wagons as soon as they walked into the store. It wasn’t just the fear of the pandemic; it was because of idiots like this old geezer.

No, she was not going to apologize for calling him that.

“Do you think these masks even work?”

Oh no.

He was _not_ about to turn this around and either make it Maren’s fault or try to ‘convert’ her into an anti-masker.

Or whatever they were called.

“Doesn’t matter what I think. I’m just following the rules. They wouldn’t be telling us to wear these just for the hell of it,” she responded.

To that, the man scoffed. “These masks don’t do nothing. They don’t protect us from anything. They’re a waste of space.”

“All I know is they’re supposed to prevent airborne stuff from getting to us,” Maren folded her arms. “I’m not an expert. I’m just following the rules and doing my job. And part of my job is to make sure people come in covering their face with something.”

“Those things ain’t gonna protect us from no virus. And you can’t make me wear one,” he retorted.

Maren bit her tongue. Conceal, conceal, conceal.

Only because she _really_ wanted to punch this guy.

“Actually, I can. Because if you don’t wear something then I have to ask you to leave the store,” she said with as straight a face as she could muster.

And that was really saying something; Maren had no straight face.

The man glared at her. “Listen here, I come from a family of lawyers. And I can tell you there’s no law or rule or anything that says I _have_ to wear a damn mask. So if you try to make me wear one then I can get them to sue you and the store.”

With that, and another cough onto his wagon, the man turned and stormed down back to the front of the aisle to the nearest register.

Never mind that he completely cut around the blockade and went straight down the one-way.

There better not have been a line he cut in front of.

Not that there should have been when the store closed in less than an hour. But still. What part of ‘no’ or ‘rules are rules’ did people not understand?

Groaning, Maren reluctantly pulled out her phone. Though she didn’t expect Elsa to see her text and if Elsa weren’t in the cash office at that moment she’d likely see for herself, it was probably best to at least give her the heads up.

That, and because if Maren went back up front and had to deal with that customer face to face again, she’d probably just smack him with a twelve-pack of soda. And only because she was not going to punch him in the face if it meant he’d end up coughing on her fist. Gross.

_Heads up there’s a jerk of an antimasker who just went to one of the registers. Brace yourself_

She sent the text and then stuck her phone back in her pocket. Letting out a breath, knowing she had at the very least done some part, Maren continued on with her job.

She was instructed with the task of doing a walk around the store, gathering items that didn’t belong. So far she found apple juice and mayonnaise by the Doritos; Oxiclean and chocolate sprinkles by the Lay’s; golden Oreos with the salsa; a couple bottles of Pepsi by the dip; a bag of potatoes by the oatmeal; mouthwash and medicine next to the coffee; and a few packs of paper plates with the pop tarts.

Because who didn’t love spinach dip flavored Pepsi, apple juice Doritos, coffee mouthwash, salsa Oreos, or potatoes covered in oatmeal?

The only thing that would have made it worse was if someone left behind something perishable to go bad….

Scratch that.

There was also a pack of bacon by the pop tarts. No telling how long that had been sitting there for. Making a face, Maren threw it into the cart before heading to the next aisle. Fortunately, the only thing to come out of the baby aisle was a chocolate diaper.

As in, an extra large Hershey’s chocolate bar sitting on the empty shelf where the diapers were usually located.

This was going to be one of those nights where she hated her job, wasn’t it?

Sighing, Maren forged her way to the next aisle, the baking aisle to be exact. What kind of monstrosities would she find there tonight…?

“Maren?”

Oh shit.

That was not the kind of monstrosity Maren had in mind.

Not that she would say it to anyone’s face.

But to teenaged Maren, she absolutely would have said it out loud.

Gulping, she forced her gaze upward towards the front of the aisle. She could see the woman approaching her. There was no mistaking exactly who that was.

Reddish-brown hair tied up in a perfectly neat bun coupled with a signature headband.

Eyes holding a perfect combination of blue and green that just pierced through Maren’s soul.

A tall, slender body that Maren recognized all too well to the point where she could have sworn nothing changed about it.

An almost professional style of clothing that naturally had to incorporate the power color of red somehow.

A near-stoic glance that could almost rival Elsa’s when she was dealing with a particularly annoying customer. The kind of glance that just screamed she not only knew her business, but exactly how to get it done with absolutely no arguments or questions.

Maren’s grip tightened on the handle of her wagon and she could feel her whole body tensing.

Out of all the people from her past that had to randomly show up at Oaken’s, why the hell did it have to be Attina??

Maren wished she could have pretended she didn’t see her and made a run for it. Or, better yet, act as if she didn’t even know whom that woman was. But it would be for naught. Attina had always been the kind of person to speak her mind. She wasn’t afraid to call anyone out. It was probably why she was one of the most popular girls in high school; other students could fear or revere her. There was almost this…intuition; Maren supposed was a good word…that Attina had. But then again, with six younger sisters she supposed that was a thing to expect with her. Some things never changed, it seemed.

“A…Attina….” Maren tried and failed not to stammer. “Wha…what are you doing here?”

Attina parked her cart to the side and stood next to it, placing a hand on her hip. Maren noticed the woman’s cheek accentuating a bit, which must have meant Attina was tugging her lips to the side. Or perhaps smirking. Maren was unsure which was worse. It was just like the looks she’d gotten back then, the ones she’d go above and beyond to get out of her. But now? It felt like she was being examined.

“Finally doing some food shopping while I have the chance. Working from home has been a bitch. I put in so many extra hours my boyfriend had to do all the shopping,” she commented.

Oh.

Boyfriend.

Not that it should have stung. Or that Maren was judging or thinking anything.

After all, Attina had said it herself; Maren had only been….

She just….

Ugh.

It felt like a slap to the face.

“You doing the same thing?” Attina asked.

The same thing…?

Oh.

Shopping.

Maren glanced down at her cart. It was probably a good thing she was doing a walk around as opposed to throwbacks. She could only imagine how suspicious she’d be looking now if she had a cart full of only potato chips. Attina must not have noticed Maren’s name tag, either; it likely became tugged underneath her sweat jacket. Very few people recognized the logo on her hat anyway, even though it did clearly say Oaken’s. But then again, who was Maren to argue if Attina didn’t notice that Maren was actually working? It was likely for the best. How much more of a slap to the face would it have been if Maren admitted that she was essentially amounting to nothing by working in a grocery store? She didn’t need to hear shit from Attina who, not only was the salutatorian in high school and voted most likely to succeed, but clearly also had a successful career.

“Uuuuuh…. Yeah. Yeah, just…just a little. A few things here and there.” She cleared her throat, “Forgot my list at home.”

“Huh. Really?” Attina raised an eyebrow.

Dammit, did she still have to be so damn observant?

“You, you know how it is. You run out thinking you’re forgetting something and then just…. You realize it half way there but it doesn’t make sense to go back so it’s just…. It’s like going in a big circle, you know?”

That didn’t sound believable at all.

Hell, Maren wouldn’t even believe that crap coming out of her mouth.

“Right….” Attina dragged out the word, as though she didn’t believe it either.

She was definitely getting suspicious. She was going to start asking questions. Questions Maren didn’t want to answer. Hell, questions she probably didn’t even have the answers to. And why should she entertain Attina anyway? It wasn’t like she owed the woman anything. After what happened…. But that would involve Maren sticking around. And she really, really didn’t want to do that. Hell, she’d rather go back to dealing with that anti-masker!

Maren cleared her throat again. “Uh…an…anyway, the…the store closes soon. So…so we should probably get going…. Both going. You. Me. Not…not together. Just…separate. On with our lives. Shopping. Home. A…all that shit….”

Oh god could that gaze have made her feel any more inferior?

“So…so I’ll just…. Yeah, I’m gonna….”

UGH!

Why was Maren so terrible at this?

She could handle the annoying and entitled customers.

She could handle Nani’s teasing.

Hell, to a point she’d even been able to handle simply talking to Elsa.

But throw Attina into the mix and suddenly she was a nervous and weak piece of shit.

“Oh Maren! There you are!”

The brunette blinked. She turned her head and saw Snow approaching her.

That’s right; Snow had taken her break some time ago. She was probably just coming back from the break room and on her way back to the register.

Should Maren be more relieved or worried?

Attina appeared just as confused. “You know this girl?”

She’s practically my sister, Maren would have said. If it were to anyone else. But this was Attina. So somehow it felt…. Different.

“She…she’s my….” Maren stammered, but couldn’t seem to get the words out.

“She’s my foster mom,” Snow blurted.

Maren blinked.

That snapped her out of it.

“Wait, what?”

Attina appeared to echo the confusion.

“Wait, what?”

There was a pause.

Then Snow took in a deep breath before continuing with blabbing an explanation that was almost fantastical yet somehow bordering believable. She didn’t quite get it all out in one breath the way Anna or Elsa would have when they babbled, but she was certainly talking at a speed that was quite unprecedented.

“I mean, I know that technically isn’t true, and I know we didn’t even make anything official yet, but I didn’t think there’d be anything wrong with saying that unless you have a problem with saying that because then I absolutely won’t say it again if you don’t want me to, I’m sorry I just blurt it out like that, that was totally wrong and I should have asked first but I also figured it was just easier to say than a long detailed explanation and I know it’s no one’s business and you always say no one has the right to say anything or judge at all but I’m just trying to help, I hope I didn’t make you feel bad or awkward, did I make you feel bad or awkward because I’m so sorry, is there something I should be using instead because please tell me if I should, I don’t want to come off as disrespectful or anything, please don’t be mad….”

“Whoa, whoa, Snow, slow…slow down,” Maren breathed.

Where the hell did all that come from?

What the hell was she talking about?

What the hell was Maren even missing?

“Wait, wait,” Attina blinked. She shook her head and then pointed between the two of them. “You’re her foster mom? I’m sorry, I’m just having a hard time believing that.”

Maren narrowed her gaze just slightly. “Why? Because you think I’m irresponsible? Or clueless? Or gullible?”

“Well….” Attina shrugged.

She needn’t say anymore than that.

Snow’s eyes widened. “Technically she’s my foster mom’s girlfriend! I just think it’s easier to call them both that!”

Wait.... WHAT??

There was just….

There was so much….

What kind of story….

Where did Snow….

How did Snow….

What was she….

Wait, WHAT???

Attina raised an eyebrow. She tapped her fingers against her waist and stared long and hard at Maren. The brunette could feel the gaze piercing through her entire body, as if Attina was somehow inspecting every each of her searching for a lie. Or, looking for confirmation that it was all a lie.

Not that it should be that difficult at all because there was absolutely nothing about any of those statements that could remotely resemble a truth.

“Girlfriend, huh?” she questioned doubtfully.

Maren felt her whole body freeze. How the hell was she supposed to get around that? She didn’t have a girlfriend. She was never around any kids. Unless Ryder counted…he was kind of a man-child, after all. What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to do? She was about to look like an even bigger fool in front of Attina than she did when they were in high school.

“Oh…. They don’t broadcast it to everyone,” Snow covered. “She works a whole lot here and it’s really time consuming. And Maren spends most of her time at home doing online schooling and helping around the house. It’s been really hard with the pandemic and a huge adjustment for everyone, so we’re all still trying to navigate it. But I’m just really happy with how everything is going and I wanted them to know, too.”

How the hell was Snow pulling all of this out of her ass at a second’s notice?

And how the hell was she still somehow sounding so fricking adorable and keeping an actual straight face? It was almost as if it were somehow impossible _not_ to believe that girl with the way she spoke so sweetly and innocently.

It felt like a blessing and a curse.

Snow turned to Maren with a smile. “I’ll go get her. She’d love to know you’re here waiting for us. I’ll be right back!” She started running down the aisle back to the front end.

Maren felt her body freeze again. She briefly glanced to Attina before holding up a finger and then chasing after Snow. “Si….” Dammit, she almost said ‘sis’. She shouldn’t be saying that right now, should she? “S…Snow, wait up!” She managed to catch the teen before she got too far. Though Maren hoped it was enough distance that Attina wouldn’t overhear them, she lowered her voice just to be on the safe side. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to help you,” she whispered back. “Don’t worry, I’m going to get some backup.”

What backup?

Who backup?

What was Snow plotting?

Did she actually have a manipulative bone somewhere deep in her body?

Did Snow even _realize_ she was using a manipulative bone that neither of them knew existed?

“I…I really don’t think you should….” Maren hesitated.

“Don’t worry,” Snow repeated, likely with her signature smile, “I know exactly who can help us out!”

That’s exactly what I’m afraid of, Maren thought as Snow dashed down.

Feeling a chill course through her veins, Maren forced herself to return to her wagon. She wished she could just take it and run. Go back to work or, even better, hide in the break room until closing. She could avoid Attina forever and never have to deal with her again. But it seemed Snow had other ideas.

Oh fuck, what the hell did Maren get herself into this time?

“So.”

Oh fuck.

Now Attina was using a tone that Maren could only compare to a sultry Catra.

Yes, she just replaced her binge watching of Avatar the Last Airbender with She-Ra before her shifts.

“Girlfriend, huh?”

Get it together, Maren, she thought, conceal don’t feel, conceal don’t feel.

“Wh…why say it like that…?”

Attina shrugged, letting out something that sounded similar to a scoff. “Come on…. You weren’t really serious back then when you said you were gay.”

Pause.

Maren felt her heart sink at the denouncing.

She had gotten called out for speaking about her identity before, but that had been primiarly courtesy of peoples’ discomfort with the topic or because she had been told she was indecisive and had to pick a side.

But this?

This was worse.

“B…. Bi…actually,” she corrected almost too quietly.

Attina raised an eyebrow. “And that makes a difference?”

Yes!

It made a _huge_ difference!

Maren spent a lot of time cultivating her identitiy.

Even though in her youth, having an attraction to males and females, bisexual made the most sense as a label.

But even afterwards, as Maren grew to learn that it wasn’t specifically about the two genders or sexes; it was about the alignment; because there were more than _just_ those; it was about two or more; it was about the people and not what they specifically identified as for themselves; she still had to figure out if bisexual was the right label for her. She still had to be comfortable with herself. She still had to know who she was. And, ultimately, she’d still have to explain herself to people. But none of that should have mattered because, in the end, it was the right word for Maren for reasons that she specifically understood. To have Attina just effortlessly replace it with gay….

Maren didn’t always care. How many times had she referred to herself as a useless lesbian only to correct herself to useless bi? But at least that made sense to her. At least that was Maren talking about herself. At least she knew what she meant.

But to have someone else just…just… _erase_ …all of that…all of _her_ …without so much as a second thought....

In any other instance with any other person Maren would have called them out. Or, at the bare minimum, corrected them. Because why should she have to hide this very real part of her, a part of her that she was so comfortable with, just to make someone else feel better?

Except this wasn’t just any other person.

It was fucking Attina.

“I…. I just…. I thought we….”

Attina blinked. “‘We?’ We were never anything.”

Maren’s breath hitched. She knew exactly where this was going and she didn’t need to hear it. Not again. Not that word.

“Then wha….” She shook her head. “What was all that even?”

Attina turned her head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes you do,” Maren gasped. “The…the teasing! The looks! The flirting, the…the kissing, the-”

“That was you,” she sneered through grit teeth.

“That was you, too!” Maren insisted.

Attina’s head snapped back in Maren’s direction. “So you really believe that was all reciprocated?”

“Y…yes…” Maren stammered, “be…because it was….”

Not that it sounded very convincing. Maren wanted so much to believe that it meant something – that _she_ meant something – and there had to be a reason why Attina said what she did and acted so terribly towards Maren.

“Maren, get a grip. You were the one who wouldn’t leave me alone.”

“That wasn’t just me, though….” She couldn’t be remembering it wrong after all…. Could she? “You never pushed me away. But then you…. You said some _really_ shitty things about me. You made my life hell after that.”

She thought she saw Attina’s face soften, if only slightly. Or maybe it was what Maren hoped she’d see. Attina could have just been surprised by Maren’s comment. That’s why her eyes widened and her back arched, wasn’t it? Because she never expected Maren to call her out on it again?

There was a pause.

Finally, Attina sighed. “Maren, it…. It was just an experiment. Maybe you didn’t want to admit it then…maybe you still don’t want to…and that’s…. That’s fine. But you know it never would have worked. As soon as my father found out, nothing would have happened. Nothing _could_ have happened. And if it did….” She paused and shook her head before letting out another sigh. “The truth is, you really did me a solid back then. If we didn’t…. If I didn’t…. I never would’ve been able to get my shit together and straighten myself out.” She took a sharp breath in, fighting back a groan. It was the kind of reaction that Attina would fight to get out of. But it didn’t matter that she’d actually follow through this time. It would never replace the hurt that Maren felt. That she was _still_ feeling.

“I was wrong to cut you off. And I was wrong for letting everyone call you that. I should have thanked you for letting me get it out of my system and just dropped it. So I’m sorry for that.”

She was sorry?

She was sorry.

Sorry that she led Maren on.

Sorry that Maren was stupid enough to believe she had a chance.

Sorry that even though Attina was just as much to blame, she put it on Maren completely.

Sorry for the names, hurt, gossip, and torture that followed Maren while Attina was off the hook.

Sorry that Maren felt like nothing more than a worthless idiot.

No. Sorry did shit.

She couldn’t take it anymore. She had to get the hell out of there.

“I…I have to….” Maren turned away from Attina and grabbed the handle of her wagon, about to push it down and make a mad dash to the other side of the store. Or duck into the back. Or even the bathroom. Just…. Somewhere far away.

“Maren…?”

That voice.

It caused Maren to halt in her tracks.

Elsa came…?

Snow’s light giggles followed. “I told you I’d bring her over,” the teen chirped.

Oh Snow, you poor, innocent sap, Maren thought.

Maren accidentally dragged her into this mess and now Elsa was involved as well. None of this should have been happening right now. Why didn’t Maren run when she originally had the chance?

“So…. You’re the girlfriend?” Attina inquired.

Maren flinched. She didn’t need to turn around to know that Attina was obviously inspecting Elsa. She didn’t believe this shit show of a story for a second.

“Oh…. Uh….”

Now it was Elsa’s turn to stammer.

Maren felt her heart sink.

But what should she have expected?

There was no way in hell Elsa was going to follow through with this. Hell, there was no reason for her to back Maren up in any way. Not like Elsa would want to…. She would never….

Maren shut her eyes tight and held her breath, anticipating the burn that was sure to follow.

“It…. It’s still pretty new.”

Maren’s eyes widened.

Elsa’s response came after a bit of a pause but….

But she….

She was going along with it…?

“How new?” Attina wondered.

“A couple of months,” Elsa answered.

“And she already met your….?” Attina paused, likely surveying Snow in the process. She couldn’t even say the words because she didn’t believe the lie.

“Well…we do both work here, so…. I suppose it was a bit difficult not to,” Elsa covered.

“And how long with her?” Attina asked.

“Right when she turned sixteen,” Elsa said without missing a beat.

At least that hadn’t been a total lie. Maren had surmised that Snow started working at Oaken’s when she did turn sixteen. So for however long that had been, there was at least some truth with how long she had known Elsa for.

But that still didn’t make it all right for Elsa to cover Maren’s ass.

“Snow why don’t you go back to your register? Let Nani know I will return shortly, and that if any customers ask the service desk is closed for the remainder of the night,” Elsa suggested.

“Are you sure you’ll both be all right?” Snow asked. “I can stay….”

“It’s fine. You focus on your job,” Elsa promised.

There was a pause followed by footsteps. It must have been Snow reluctantly listening to Elsa and going back up front.

“Wow. Pretty ballsy of you to call your own kid out on the job,” Attina observed.

The faintest ‘heh’ escaped Elsa. How the hell did she do that even?

“I do not play favorites,” the blonde explained. “I can’t imagine how that equates to being…ballsy.”

In any other instance Maren would certainly have teased Elsa for using that word.

Not that it came close to Elsa saying shit; but it was still pretty funny.

“I’m a lawyer. I’ve seen plenty of cases of nepotism,” Attina stated.

“Snow is quite reliable for her age. But, as I’m sure you can see, she has become quite attached to Maren. As soon as she comes around, Snow rarely wants to leave her side,” Elsa said.

Maren felt her cheeks heat a bit. The way Elsa said it…it was almost natural. As if she was being truthful.

She…she supposed that was accurate on some level. Snow had grown attached to Maren. To both of them, actually. She did call them her sisters. And she was willing to pull all these strings and create an elaborate lie to…. What was she even trying to do? Save Maren? Talk Maren up? Back her up?

“I do hope Snow wasn’t interrupting anything,” Elsa continued. “We do close soon for the night and I’m sure you have to finish shopping.”

“I’m almost done anyway,” Attina replied. “I, I guess I should apologize though. You’re here talking to me instead of your girlfriend. Don’t you want to…?”

Maren froze again.

It must have been a new record for her.

Was it possible to have become an ice sculpture by now?

She might as well have been. After all, Attina was basically suggesting….

But Elsa would never.

Maren could never….

No.

No, she couldn’t.

She couldn’t do that to Elsa.

If she did, she…. She’d ruin everything.

As if Elsa would even want to.

“O…oh,” Elsa realized quickly. “I, I am working, though. That would be unprofessional.”

Ouch.

But it was a good save.

And an accurate one.

Leave it to Elsa.

“I…I don’t mind. You, you should absolutely….” Was Attina the one stammering now? As if it would actually make _her_ feel awkward at all!

There was another pause.

Oh shit.

Elsa was going to feel obligated now, wasn’t she?

But that…. That wasn’t right.

They shouldn’t.

Maren shouldn’t.

No matter how much she wanted to.

It really would have been Attina all over again.

She heard Elsa take a sharp breath.

“M…Maren knows how I am with boundaries. And as…as I said, this…. It’s still fairly new. I would prefer to refrain for the time being.”

Yet she still managed to sound so damn regal.

How the hell did she do that?

Meanwhile Maren was still standing there with her back to them like a dunce. She was contributing absolutely nothing. She wasn’t even budging. What a waste of space she was being right now. Elsa was trying so hard to back her up…to sell their story…to make it seem like they had some kind of relationship…. And what was Maren doing? Hiding like a coward. That wasn’t what she did. But…but how could she otherwise when she still felt like shit?

“Maren? Restraining…?” She could almost feel Attina’s eyes on her back. Oh god, it burned! “Wow, you…. You must’ve really had an effect on her, huh?”

“O…Oh, I…. I don’t know about that….” Elsa replied, likely blushing.

How Maren would love to see that.

“No, really. Holding back, focusing on school, actually helping take care of someone…. That, that sounds nothing like the Maren I went to school with,” Attina commented.

“How so?” Elsa wondered.

Dammit Elsa, stop being so polite! Where’s that Snow Queen persona? Kick her out! Yell at her! Something! Anything else! Please!

“Maren could be pretty persuasive. She put up a damn good fight when she wanted to. When she got an idea in her head…she’d do pretty much anything to make it a reality. The lengths she’d go for it, for m-” She cut herself off, taking a pause. “It was kind of charismatic, actually,” she replied. “She…. She made it really hard not to like her.”

_“She made it really hard not to like her.”_

How could she say that when….

She made Maren’s life hell back then.

To go now and give a half-assed apology….

To act like all of a sudden now she was….

But she didn’t have that right.

After all, why should Attina feel any differently about her?

When Maren was just some….

“Maren never had to do such a thing with me,” Elsa confessed.

Do such a thing?

What did she…?

“She made it very easy to like her.”

Maren’s eyes widened.

Elsa basically said the same thing Attina just did.

But….

But it also wasn’t the same thing.

_“She made it really hard not to like her.”_

_“She made it very easy to like her.”_

“If…. If you don’t mind….” Attina paused. “Could…could you tell me what it was…? Please?”

Pause.

“A…about Maren?” Elsa stuttered.

Another pause.

“Y…yeah. I….” Attina sighed. Kind of…in defeat…? “I’d like to know what I missed out on.”

No….

No!

This was getting too out of hand.

Maren was unsure how much more of this she could take. She shut her eyes tight again, clenching her fists against the wagon, and bit her tongue as hard as she could.

“Maren…?”

Maren blinked.

When did Elsa step right in front of her?

When did she get so close?

When…?

Maren stared at her.

She stared in complete and utter shock at the ethereal beauty in front of her.

No, Elsa was always beautiful.

But now…she was beautifuller.

No, not fuller!

More beautiful.

Damn grammar.

Maren was distracted completely by Elsa’s long hair.

Wait…long hair…?

When did she let her hair down?

It was thicker and wavier than Maren expected. And…long. Did she say long? Such long, gorgeous locks. The bangs were almost completely nonexistent, as if they’d gone from being visibly restricted in the form of a braid or ponytail to flowing free in the wind. Even that little tuft, that loose piece that always hung just a bit left from the center, seemed lost in the sea of hair. The way the waves of blonde framed Elsa…her face…her body….

Maren could have sworn the woman was glowing.

She shook her head. She had to snap out of it. Focus, Maren, focus! Elsa had already gotten close to her probably more times than she wished to count. This didn’t need to be another occurrence. Nor did she have to keep lying for Maren’s sake. This…them…it wasn’t how Maren wanted it. She didn’t want to have to lie about being with Elsa in any capacity. Or about her feelings. She either wanted them out in the open for everyone to see or locked away so no one else could get to them. Anything else was an insult to Elsa. She couldn’t let her go through with this.

Maren pulled down her mask if, for no other reason but to make sure Elsa could hear her whisper without the damn fabric in front of her face.

Or, at the very least, be able to somewhat read her lips.

“You don’t have to do this,” she murmured.

“It’s ok. I don’t mind,” the blonde promised.

“Go back. I’ll handle this. Just….”

Just what?

Leave Maren to suffer?

Let Maren pick up the pieces of her own damn mess?

Stop feeling like she had to go above and beyond for her?

Don’t let Maren keep reading into all these little things when there was clearly nothing there?

“Maren.”

Elsa’s soft voice cut through the silence. Maren felt her hand flinch when Elsa’s hand went on top of it.

What…?

What was happening…?

“I want to,” Elsa promised almost inaudibly.

She….

She wanted to…?

She….

She was ok…?

With this…?

The lie…?

The mere possibility…?

_Them_ …?

Elsa closed her eyes. Yet her hand remained on top of Maren’s. There was…not quite a force but…something…behind it. A grip that Maren couldn’t quite put her finger on. Any other instance where there was any contact between them, Elsa’s touch had been simple. Light. Delicate. Hesitation at first and yet…somehow almost forgetfulness. Forgetfulness in the way that it would almost come as a shock she hadn’t let go sooner. As if there were confusion as to why she was still holding on. Almost…like it felt second nature…?

A long pause followed. Maren could only attribute it to Elsa concocting a beautiful, elaborate lie. For reasons unbeknownst to Maren, Attina seemed more drawn to believing Elsa. Not that Maren could totally blame her; Elsa’s regality coupled with her tone of voice as well as her eloquence made for a terrifying combination. Almost as if anything that came out of her mouth was too good to be true. That much certainly held true for this particular instance. Though Maren knew full well that Elsa was fibbing, she probably would have believed her if she said snowmen came to life!

When Elsa did speak, there was gentleness in her voice that Maren had not quite heard yet. It was still airy and warm but…. Also something else.

“When you spend so much time with someone…. I’m not quite sure if there is an exact moment. If there’s that one instance above all else where you just know. I never believed there could be such a moment. For so long my priorities were so specific and focused that I could not for a second imagine inviting anyone else in. That anyone else would want to come in.”

Her brows furrowed. “But I suppose if I had to pick one moment…. If there was one that stood above all else…. It was the first time I saw her with Snow. By all accounts I had not been around either of them long. There was still so much I didn’t know. Hell, I had no idea if I was even doing right by Snow. Keeping her here…. Training her…. Watching over her…. It would be…unprofessional…if I said I had no idea what I was doing. I…I suppose that could be true of anyone but…. But she was so shy and nervous when she came here. She could have gone anywhere else. She could have been with anyone else. But she ended up here. With me. Everything was so new to her…. And to me. But then Maren showed up. And suddenly the world became so much brighter. Snow began to open up. She felt safer. She had more confidence. You could absolutely tell that whenever Maren was near, Snow was at complete ease. No one else could bring that out of her the way Maren did. The way she does. Maren never had to say or do anything. It was never a question for her. She just…. Did. Every time. There were never any second thoughts involved. She instantly made herself available if Snow needed. I saw that. I saw them together. I saw her….”

There was a brief pause.

“I saw all of that and there was no doubt in my mind. Everything felt…. Complete. Like in some way, we were all exactly where we were meant to be. I saw that…. I felt that…. And….”

Another pause.

“And I love them for that.”

A final pause followed. She silently exhaled, only noticeable by the movement of her chest. Her brows furrowed, but less in thought that time and more…. Relaxed. As if, when she commented about being at ease, she was being completely honest. Like she completely embodied it. Her face…her voice…her mind…maybe even her heart…were all at ease. It was a look of peace that Maren saw on Elsa for the first time since she met her.

And the clincher came with her final sentence, one that made Maren’s heart race to speeds unimaginable.

“And…. I love _her_ for that.”

In that moment, everything else became a blur to Maren. She forgot where they were. She forgot who was around them. She forgot what they were doing. She forgot how or why they ended up in that predicament. She only focused on the five words that had just escaped Elsa’s lips.

_"I love her for that."_

It really was a beautiful lie.

A beautiful, intricate, perfect, convincing lie.

And Maren ate it right up.

She fell for it like the infatuated sap she was.

Never mind that she would have given anything for it to be true.

In that moment, she absolutely believed it.

She didn’t even realize she had leaned in closer.

That she was so lost in the moment.

How strongly she wanted to return that same sentiment.

Maren’s eyelids slid down as she became completely engrossed in Elsa.

She wanted so much to say the same thing to her.

To say she felt the same way.

To put everything out there even for one second.

To let go of her inhibitions and just respond.

To finally let it go.

And then she realized.

She felt something against her.

Specifically, her lips.

Something soft.

Not exactly another set of lips…she would have known for sure.

Something resembling them…?

Or something in front of them?

Like a…a fabric of some sort…?

Maren’s eyes fluttered.

And a millisecond later, they widened completely.

She was kissing Elsa.

Or, rather, Elsa’s mask.

Unlike Maren, who had pulled down her mask, Elsa’s remained on her face.

And now….

Oh.

Oh fuck!

Maren jolted back. She felt her chest heave up and down rapidly, yet nothing else escaped her. Her hands trembled and her heart pounded like it never had before.

What the fuck did she just do…?

Shaking her head, Maren didn’t give it a second thought. She didn’t care who else was there. She didn’t care what was happening. She didn’t even care to look at Elsa’s face and read her reaction. Hell, she didn’t even want to know what kind of reaction Elsa was having right now! She just knew she had to get the hell out of here.

How ironic that Maren tried so desperately to convince Elsa to run to her. Or to not run at all. And what was Maren doing?

Running.

She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, leaving her cart and Elsa behind in her dust. Maren didn’t think for a second where to go. She just sprinted. She sprinted to the double doors in the back by the dairy department. She could have so easily turned left and ducked into the break room. Their sanctuary. Their safety net. Their place.

Hers and Elsa’s.

But then Maren would have been trapped. There would have been nowhere else to go. Nowhere to hide.

Perhaps that was why she pushed the doors open. She flew past them and turned right. No, there wasn’t too far to go. It was a dead end by all means, blocked off by the refrigerator and freezer sections for perishable deliveries. The only place she could have hid was the freezer. Instead she dove behind a pile of crates. She leaned up against the tower and curled herself into a fetal position, desperately trying to keep her heart and breaths under control. But her body felt out of control. It was shivering in a way she never experienced before.

She kissed Elsa.

She kissed Elsa!

“Maren…?”

No!

No…. Get out of my head, she thought!

“Maren…?”

She heard Elsa’s voice. She heard the concern. She heard the fear. Maren wanted so terribly to scream for her to shut up. She didn’t want to face Elsa. She _couldn’t_ face Elsa. Not after that. She’d have to confront her feelings. She’d have to tell Elsa everything. She’d have to risk their friendship. She….

She’d lose Elsa.

Oh fuck.

She was going to lose Elsa.

Slamming her eyes shut, Maren pulled her legs into her chest as tight as they could go. Her hands shot up to her face, pressing themselves hard against her ears. Don’t give in, she thought, don’t listen.

“Maren…?”

Her voice was softer that time, somewhat above a whisper. Good, the drowning out was working.

But it didn’t change the fact that Maren screwed up.

Then again, that’s what she always did wasn’t it?

She always found a way to screw up.

She screwed things up with Attina.

She let herself fall for her…got them caught…dealt with the consequences….

She screwed things up after high school.

She traveled, claiming it was to find herself…that she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do…. But it was only to keep running.

She screwed up with her life.

She really had no idea what she wanted to do…no focus…no major…no care…. That was why she resorted to retail, wasn’t it? Not even just because of the pandemic. Because it was something. And something was better than nothing.

And now she screwed up with Elsa.

She crossed that line she swore she wouldn’t cross. She swore she wouldn’t cross it to Anna. She swore she wouldn’t cross it for the sake of friendship. And she swore she wouldn’t cross it out of respect for Elsa.

And she failed spectacularly.

Her hands continued to shake, ultimately loosening against the sides of her face. They slid down slightly and Maren’s breaths became more audible. She felt her eyes water, though whether it was from guilt or fear or something else, Maren couldn’t say.

She just knew that this was it.

She lost Elsa.

_Ah ah oh oh._

It was the faintest voice echoing through the hall.

Maybe it was in the hall. Maybe it was just outside the double doors. Maybe it was down by Receiving. But there was that voice. That enchanting, mysterious voice. It had been so long since Maren heard it last. Had it always been that hoarse? That…shaky? Maren could have sworn it was more powerful somehow.

_Ah ah oh oh oh._

It was further away that time. Fading. Whatever direction it was going, it was leaving Maren. It was disappearing somewhere into the depths of Oaken’s without her.

Any other night Maren would have raced after it. She would have been so determined to at long last find out whom it belonged to. Because finally, _finally_ it felt so damn close. But tonight? Maren didn’t have the energy. Nor did she have the desire. And, quite frankly, she could give a shit about that stupid voice. The only voice she wanted to find was Elsa’s. And it was too late.

And so Maren remained hidden as the voice steadily faded into night and out of Maren’s thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok that was A LOT. For anyone who dares to sit through this painfully long overexplained thought process, let's take it step by step.
> 
> The Retail Story with the old guy and mask? 100% true. i did switch around some of the dialogue i dealt with and also had Maren say things i did not say because she's Maren and not afraid to call people out. Even though this story takes place earlier in the pandemic when there weren't necessarily laws or mandates about the masks, every place is different so i'm sure they existed somewhere. But this guy used EVERY excuse in the book and not only ignored me, but also another one of my coworkers who told him to put on a mask. Follow that up with all the crap Maren finds on the shelves that don't belong? Actual things i have found, and only a small handful from a VERY long list. No, people don't care where they leave crap and no, they don't think or care if something goes bad.
> 
> The elephant in the supermarket: Attina. This was the dialogue and character struggle i dealt with. And it's something i continued to struggle with in the rewrites. i didn't want to villainize Attina because the implied homophobia she dealt with - when she she says her father found out - and the internalized homophobia she feels as a result are very real things. i wanted to imply that Attina had once had some feelings towards Maren, and they were obviously together, but while Maren obviously felt something very strongly Attina was trying to act, or maybe even believe for herself, they were never serious and were just experimenting. And the way she talks to Maren, about her and them, is something that has continued to bother and affect Maren. It doesn't make what Attina did right. And yes, anyone can come across as or even be a jerk. So it was a fine line i was trying to walk between writing her as believable with her struggle while also from Maren's POV who was obviously so hurt by Attina so ultimately, we only get Maren's side of the story. This is the only scene with Attina we get, but more will be touched on in a later chapter which will hopefully clear things up at least a little bit.
> 
> Snow intervening and coming up with Elsamaren being her foster moms was always meant to happen. Her getting Elsa to come over was always a part of it. The way the three of them are together and basically do act as a family, it's very much wishful thinking on Snow's end (and maybe most of ours) that that's what'd really happen. Then having Elsa actually converse with Attina...originally i had it where Attina was beyond doubtful of Elsamaren's 'relationship' and she would've gone so far as to have them prove themselves. But again, that would've been villainizing her. It would've still been a push to have Elsa and Maren admit their feelings to each other and, in actually pretending to be a couple, would make them openly realize that this was what they wanted. But that's not the way for someone to come out. And the truth was that, Elsa was not the only one in the closet. What i also realized in writing this was that, Elsa isn't the only one with demons to overcome. Hers have just been more prominent. Maren has a few things to work out as well; Elsa had some time and now it's Maren's turn.
> 
> THE KISS. MAREN. KISSED. ELSA. i know what you guys are thinking - what happened to Chapter 37 when the kiss was SUPPOSED to happen? BUT. Was it REALLY? Is this THE kiss or is it the IMPLICATION of a kiss? This, in addition to Elsa's speech about Maren, was what came of the original attempt. This is where sh-t really hits the ceiling because the stakes do get raised. Maren was reminded that she felt like such a screwup with Attina. She is absolutely crazy over Elsa and wants to believe her story about falling for Maren so much. But now her feelings are actually out there and there's no denying them. This means neither of them should hide anything from each other anymore. It's the push they both needed to [start] being open and honest. With Elsa, that means coming out and we knew that. But with Maren it's about learning a bit about her past and her coming to her own terms with it. Which may also mean realizing things she never thought about before. So now Maren has to stop being an idiot and own up to her feelings and what she did and realize that, despite her fears, SHOCKER, she may not lose Elsa after all!
> 
> i hope the explanation of my thought process and struggles made sense. But i think you guys actually need a chance to breathe now so i'll let you have that as i prepare myself for the onslaught about to follow this chapter. Thank you guys so much for the encouragement and support and for trusting me to actually get this chapter right when i expressed my concerns. i appreciate you guys so much. i'll be back on either Monday or Tuesday with the next update and, with any luck, a more definite answer of what i hope is to come from this AU. See you guys soon!


	33. Chapter 33

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PROGRESS UPDATE! Ok so, as of the posting of this chapter i've started working on what i believe is the next to last chapter. That being said, not gonna say just yet what chapter that is because i don't think you guys'll believe me. What i will do though is, either the next to last chapter or the chapter before that, i will adjust it so you guys will be able to see what the last chapter will be. i think what i'll do is, i started rereading my mess of a story ( _cough cough_ Ravrav's fault _cough_ ) and already in the first three chapters i found a LOT of typos; before i eventually post the last chapter i will edit the posted ones with the fixed typos. Just so it takes a _little_ bit away from the mess that it all is. And just because this story ends doesn't mean this story ends. i have been so back and forth with sequel/not sequel/sequel/not sequel because i have ideas and i have material. Hell, BUTTLOADS of material. So; i don't have an exact plot yet (save for, you know, retail hell) and i definitely don't have a title. But, as always, i am open to suggestions, and i will be taking some time to figure out stuff. Not enough to plan everything cause trust me, if i actually _tried_ to plan and timeline everything, it'd never get posted let alone written. This means that, especially after spamming you guys with two updates last week, i'm gonna go back to one chapter a week either to be posted Mondays or Tuesdays. This'll give you guys the chance to catch up if needed and also give me a chance to get my sh-t together for a new story and also hopefully throw something together for Elsamaren Halloween. As much as i would love to only have like maybe a week's difference between posting the last chapter here and a new story, that's probably not gonna happen. But i do wanna try to leave as little time as possible. As much as i downplay my story and my writing, this has absolutely been something helping me make it through the pandemic. And, like with my drawings, it doesn't completely matter what i think of it; the fact that you guys are enjoying it and want it and makes you happy is very much what makes me wanna keep going. Because i wanna do things that make people happy. And i can only hope that a followup to this would go over just as well. But the thought wouldn't even be a thought without you guys so thank you so much for that and just giving the constant support and encouragement you do here. (Even if i don't always accept it, but it doesn't mean it's not appreciated or acknowledged!)
> 
> Ok so i'm gonna skip half-responding to comments here so you guys can get to the chapter quicker cause i feel like i take up so much time with my damn habit of never shutting up. But i will say three things here before jumping back into the story:  
> 1.Why is it that every time i have the worst feelings and nerves about a chapter you guys always have to turn it around and say how great it turned out? Every. Time.  
> 2.Literally everyone responded at some point with MAREN YOU IDIOT (i mean she is). i don't even remember how that started anymore or it basically became the theme of this story but i love it so much and it directly affected how i just rewrote the end of this chapter last night.  
> 3.New drinking game inspired by MAREN YOU IDIOT! Rules to be shared at the end of the second note LOL
> 
> This story is sponsored by Retail Hell, yes Retail Hell, where all your retail nightmares are not just proven true - they're worse! We now return to your regularly scheduled chapter.
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - This chapter has been almost completely rewritten since its original posting in September to coincide with the changes of the previous chapter as well as the occasional additions to hint at Maren's self-confidence issues throughout the story. i also apologize for any MAREN YOU IDIOT comments at any point because, once again, that was done as a running gag and not meant to actually poke fun at her in any way. We love Maren unconditionally and she's absolutely amazing.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

It was all Maren could keep thinking to herself as she remained crouched behind the crates in the back. She lost count of how many minutes she’d been sitting there for, blocking out the world around her. She faintly heard one or two announcements specifying when the store would be closing and maybe she thought she heard her name over the intercom, but ultimately it had been nothing more than muffled noise to her. She was too busy burying herself in a hole of stupidity.

Because that’s exactly what she was.

Since she met Elsa Maren did everything she could to respect her boundaries. It was even one of the few truths Elsa had spoken to Attina – Maren knew how she was about her personal space. Every instance, every chance, and every little moment that Maren had the potential to reach out to Elsa, she refrained. She gave Elsa that choice every time. Sure, Maren made herself available. She’d always make herself available to Elsa. But Maren couldn’t recall a single instance where she forced anything on Elsa.

That is, until tonight.

There had been no signals.

There hadn’t been the faintest indication.

There hadn’t been any questions.

Maren just reacted.

She took that choice away from Elsa.

Perhaps at first Maren felt more like an idiot for believing Elsa’s story. For actually thinking it could be remotely true. For allowing herself to fall so deep into the lie. For reading too much into it and thinking that even for a split second, Elsa felt the same way. Maren put herself out there and was going to face the consequences of losing Elsa because there was no way in hell that woman felt the same way.

But the more time she had to wallow in her impulse, the more that Maren realized that wasn’t it. Not entirely, anyway.

Yes, she knew very well that kissing Elsa was putting their friendship at risk. She knew it could change things in the blink of an eye for them. She knew that all the time and energy they put into each other was all for nothing.

Then she thought about Elsa. She thought about all of their interactions. How Elsa always kept to herself. How there was always such a hesitancy to reach out. How, in every instance where she began to reach out, the touch was so light and almost unnoticeable. Except it wasn’t to Maren; because it was so fucking warm. It sent this wave through her body that Maren couldn’t begin to describe. And with every touch, every small occasion, that surge of power within her grew. Physical contact _meant_ something to Elsa. It didn’t matter if it was hugging Snow or booping Maren’s finger. Elsa had to feel completely comfortable with that person. She either had to initiate or grant permission. And in this particular case, she did neither. That web of lies she spun, taking that night where they adopted Snow as their sister and turned it into something else, describing Maren’s interaction with the teenager and what a sight it was to see, going so far as to say she loved them – that she loved _Maren_ – that wasn’t permission. That wasn’t telling Maren to do anything. It was just Maren giving into her inhibitions. She acted on her own selfish feelings and desires with no respect or regard to Elsa. It didn’t matter that she tried every other time. This one ruined it all.

She was a fucking idiot.

“Maren…?”

“Maren!”

She could hear the faint voices of her coworkers from somewhere in the store. They couldn’t have been terribly far, maybe down one of the aisles near the double doors.

But Maren wasn’t going to give them the satisfaction of her showing up. She wasn’t going to let them see her like this, some sorry excuse of a sap wallowing over a girl who didn’t even like her. It felt like she was in high school all over again. Pathetic.

She wasn’t this tough, protective girl like Snow thought her to be.

She wasn’t the smooth Casanova that Nani claimed she could be.

And she sure as hell wasn’t the person Elsa deserved.

God, she was stupid.

Maren pushed her head against her knees, pulling them in closer to her. She wanted to be alone.

Her phone began going off.

Shit, who was calling her?

Maren groaned into her knees.

Go away!

She heard the double doors push open. Shit, who was following her now?

Her phone stopped ringing moments later. Footsteps approached her direction in an authoritative manner. Maren didn’t need to look up to see who it was. She could already feel those brown eyes on her. There was some other movement, or perhaps shuffling, that followed her, albeit a bit more cautious.

Was it really necessary for everyone to be breathing down Maren’s neck now?

“What the hell, Maren!”

Leave it to Nani to rip the bandage off.

“You cannot just run off and leave us like that! I don’t care if it’s a ghost town or the actual end of the world! If we need you, you have to get your ass up there. I can pick up my end when there’s no Elsa. But then who’s gonna cover self scan? That’s _your_ ass on the damn line! I don’t care what you have going on. Figure your shit out on your own damn time!”

Was that really necessary? Not even just the way Nani jumped down Maren’s throat. But how she threw everything at her at once. It didn’t matter what happened. It didn’t matter if Maren was ok. What mattered was the reminder that Maren screwed up. Again. It would be one thing if Nani were teasing. That was typical Nani being Nani. But now? This was her being ruthless. She might as well have had Attina reiterating how little Maren had actually meant to her. That’s what she was, wasn’t it? Nothing; just some failed experiment.

“Nani…” Snow spoke softly, “it wasn’t Maren’s fault. She…”

“Aye, Snow, this is not the time for sparkles and sunshine,” Nani groaned. “This is the real world, Snow. And in the real world it doesn’t matter if it was a kiss or the damn apocalypse. Especially when we already got one of those. When we have a job to do, we do our damn job and don’t get distracted by some hot blonde!”

That got Maren’s attention.

Not the hot blonde part; anyone with a pair of eyes and so much as a dash of aesthetic attraction could see that.

Eyes widening, Maren jumped to her feet. Her fists clenched at her sides and her breathing became sporadic. Her eyes darted back and forth between each of her coworkers.

They….

They knew…?

They saw…?

Her hands shook rapidly. Maren’s mouth moved, struggling to form words. Any words. But ultimately, nothing came.

Nani scoffed and placed her hands on her hips. “Yeah. We know,” she answered the unspoken question.

Maren’s throat went dry.

No….

No, no, no, no, no!

This was exactly what she was worried about.

“H…h…h….”

She couldn’t even get the simple question out.

“Doesn’t take rocket science to know you wanted to make a move sooner or later,” Nani commented simply. “Oh yeah, and Snow told us.”

Maren blinked. Her breath felt caught in her throat as her eyes sped to her pseudo-sister. The girl who had been admiring them for so long. The girl who looked up to them. The girl who felt so comfortable around them. The girl who might as well have brought them together. The girl who they basically adopted. She….

She saw…?

She knew…?

She told…?

“S…Snow…?”

Maren’s voice came out hoarsely. She was terrified of the teen’s answer. Maren wanted to believe so much that Snow wasn’t a troublemaker. That she wasn’t manipulative. That her intentions had been true. But that wasn’t Snow. Snow was good. Snow had hope. Snow gave them sunshine. Snow cared. But, then again, Maren had been wrong about Attina. What else could she have been wrong about?

Snow’s arms withdrew into her body tightly. They were pressed into her chest as tight as they could go, fingers digging into the palms of her hands. She turned her head, unable to look Maren in the eyes. Her brows tilted and she appeared to be shaking slightly. She knew she was in trouble.

“I…I’m sorry….” She choked. “I…I didn’t know what to do…”

That was a crock.

It had to be.

Snow knew _exactly_ what she was doing.

She knew how Maren felt about Elsa.

She used this as an excuse to push them together.

So much so that she would construct this whole damn lie about them being some sort of happy family.

She never did it to help Maren.

She did it to get Maren and Elsa together.

And what did she do instead of follow Maren and try to get her to talk about it?

She blabbed to Nani and Ella.

She got them involved.

Maren was now paying the ultimate price.

She wasn’t just losing Elsa; she was going to get hell to pay from her coworkers.

Their entire routine, the vibe they all had going, the bond they created together….

It was all completely down the drain.

For once, Maren couldn’t find it in herself to fall for Snow’s innocence.

In fact, she was just as furious with the teen as she was with herself.

Who was she kidding?

She was more pissed at herself than anyone.

And she directed it at the wrong person.

“What the hell, Snow??”

Her voice was still hoarse at first. Surprised. Shaky.

Maren shook her head.

There was no going back now.

“What. The. Hell. Are…are you kidding me? You didn’t know what to do? How about, how about you back off? It wasn’t your place, Snow! It’s not a fairy tale where you can just make things up to get people together!”

Nani scoffed. “Oh, like you were doing so fine on your own.”

“Nani!” Maren yelled.

“Pft! Please, you were never gonna do a damn thing. You’re just pissed Snow had the guts to try. You’re trying to hide something so desperately that we can all see. The only ones fucking oblivious are you and Elsa! You like her? Fine? I get it. We all get it. What’s not to like? But don’t go and let some kid fight your battles for you!”

“I didn’t ask for Snow’s help! I didn’t even want her help!”

“Then stop getting her involved in your problems!”

“She made it her problem!”

“Snow is not the bad guy here!”

“Oh and I am?”

“No! Just the stupid one!”

“I already know that! I don’t need you to keep rubbing it in my face! What do you want me to say, Nani? That I screwed up? That it’s my fault? Ok, fine. It’s my fault. It’s _always_ my fault.”

“That’s it? _That’s_ what you think?”

“Because it’s true! You want me to have it? Fine. Knock me out and get it the hell over with. It’s not like Elsa’ll want anything to do with me after this anyway. So just...just punch me and get it over with, ok? Then I’ll be outta your and Elsa’s hair for good and you’ll be better off! That’s what you want isn’t it? That’s what everyone wants!”

Nani took a step closer to Maren, a scowl revealed on her face like nothing Maren had seen before. The stare she gave customers, her frustration with them and her job? That paled in comparison to the look Maren was getting now. She might as well have been staring at the Gatekeeper of Retail Hell herself straight on.

Nani had every right to punch her. Hell, Maren absolutely deserved to get pummeled.

It wasn’t Snow’s fault for trying.

It wasn’t Elsa’s fault for trying to help Maren.

It was Maren’s.

Because, once again, it didn’t matter what Maren did.

She was nothing more than a failed experiment.

Even if no one aside from Attina had said those words to her, everyone else had the same thought.

Maren fucked up.

She couldn’t do anything right.

She couldn’t even be right about anything.

It was a confirmation that hurt ten times worse than any punishment Nani could send her way.

Attina had obviously been so much better off without Maren in her life; why should it be different for everyone else?

She waited for Nani’s first to connect with her face.

Or, just about anywhere.

She prepared for the pain.

She prepared for more yelling.

She was completely livid with herself and taking it out on everyone else.

Maren deserved exactly what she was about to get.

That is, until she didn’t.

“That’s not what we do.”

Nani’s low, gritted voice filled the void.

Why was nothing happening?

_“That’s not what we do.”_

Maren’s eyes lowered.

No…. It wasn’t, was it?

Gnawing at each other’s throats.

Putting each other down.

Borderline threatening each other.

Expecting violence.

This wasn’t them…. Any of them.

This wasn’t what they did.

Maren stood frozen in place. She kept her body as it was, not moving more than her eyes. They inched to the corners, just barely taking in the reactions of Snow and Ella. Ella caught her attention first, if only because she was more in the forefront. Her expression was difficult to read, perhaps because it was always so soft and welcoming. But this time? The bright girl’s face was almost…emotionless. But what could possibly resort to a look like that from Ella of all people? Was she as shocked as Nani was? Had she seen negativity worse than this? Had she dealt with…?

Oh….

Her other job.

Ella made it no secret that it sucked worse than retail.

What were the odds that Maren’s anger was something Ella experienced at the hotel?

What were the odds that it was actually worse there?

Not even just the people; her coworkers.

Did…. Did she actually expect this?

Was it almost second nature to her to see an interaction like this?

To hear these kinds of arguments?

To deal with so much…. Negativity?

Then Maren noticed something else.

Snow was behind Ella.

The look on her face….

It was almost broken.

Did she regret what she did?

Was she upset because she knew Maren was upset?

Or was she upset because Maren was upset with her?

Oh fuck.

What the hell did Maren do now?

Her shoulders slumped.

“I’m sorry…” she whispered.

A long pause followed.

“Me, too.”

It was the faintest response possible from Snow.

But she didn’t give Maren a chance to say anything else to her.

She turned and exited the double doors, returning to the store.

“Snow….”

Maren took a step forward. She…. She broke Snow. She had to go after her and make things right. If she couldn’t do that with Elsa, if there was no one else whose forgiveness she had to beg for nearly as much…. She had to let Snow know it wasn’t her fault. She had to let her know how screwed up Maren was, not anyone else. She had to promise her that everything was going to be ok. That it wasn’t Snow she was furious with, but herself. She had to make things right somehow. Even if she would fuck up again. But she had to at least try. If she didn’t….

But Nani didn’t give her that chance.

The taller woman released her fist, straightening her arm out in front of Maren and blocking her path.

“Give the girl some space,” she instructed simply.

It was a monotone command, but one Maren knew she couldn’t ignore. The brunette sighed in defeat and looked down.

Another dragged out silence followed.

“Um…. Is-”

“No.”

Ella had started to speak, but Nani cut her off.

Nani clicked her tongue. “Give us a few minutes.”

“A...are you…?” Ella started to ask.

“Go do some throwbacks or something,” Nani dismissed.

“Ok,” Ella conceded softly. “I’ll be out there…. If you need anything.”

There was another pause and a moment of silence before Ella’s footsteps indicated that she, too, had returned into the store. Maren didn’t dare look up nor could she bring herself to say anything.

What could she, anyway?

Another silence followed.

“Sorry.”

It was a stubborn response courtesy of Nani. And when Maren willed herself to look to her coworker, she could see Nani’s arms folded and her cheeks sucked in. Nani absolutely hated to admit she was at fault. Yet there she was initiating.

Maren looked at her confused.

Nani must have noticed, because she let out a sharp exhale before continuing.

“I shouldn’t’ve snapped at you or gotten on your case that way. And I know you’re not gonna talk until I woman up so…. Sorry.”

Still stubborn as hell.

But she was also right.

Maren tried to put up such a strong and proud front that of course she wouldn’t want to admit first that she was wrong.

But that couldn’t have been further from the truth.

She spent so much time thinking she was wrong. She felt so many times she was wrong. But she didn’t want to keep thinking that way.

Nani may have been frustrated, but she was also sincere. She didn’t want it to be this way, either.

“I’m the one who should apologize. I...I shouldn’t’ve said all that shit I did back there.”

Nani raised an eyebrow. “What was up with that, anyway?”

Maren didn’t answer.

Nani scoffed knowingly. “You just don’t wanna admit to anything, do you?”

As in, more than she already had?

How much deeper could she get than confessing over and over again how much of a screw up she was?

Nani sighed. “Hey if this is about me snapping-”

“It’s not,” she answered curtly.

But she knew Nani knew better than that.

Maren shook her head. “You wouldn’t get it.”

“Oh yeah? Try me,” Nani challenged.

It wasn’t something Maren talked about in years. She didn’t even know where to start, let alone how much she wanted to share. Besides, what would Nani know about feeling so inferior, anyway?

Another pause.

Nani let out a breath. “Look, I know I got a little lōlō back there. I shouldn’t have gone after you like that. I’m just trying to step up. Like I’ve always done. And if that means taking you down a couple of notches….” She shook her head. “You gotta pull your weight, too, Maren. Whatever shit you got going on in your head, you gotta put it aside and do the damn job. You can’t go skimping out on us like that. If we need you up front you gotta get your ass up there. I get it. It’s fucking hard. But if I can do it and Elsa can do it then so can you.”

She turned her body so her profile was facing Maren’s. Her brows furrowed. “Elsa and I are both cut from the same cloth, y’know? And I know we can both handle whatever shit life throws at us. But I still look out for my own, Maren. And one of those is Elsa. I’m not just some…” she paused to sneer, “ _princess_ of self scan.” She shook her head, “Yeah, that’s my job. But the other part of my job is protecting her and looking out for her. Whether she wants it or not. Cause I’ll be damned if anyone says or does anything to her. Same goes for Ella and Snow.”

She turned her head back towards Maren. “And for you. Cause I’ll be damned if you’re gonna sit there and think you fucked everything up. Or else you really _are_ gonna fuck up. And if you think for a hot second….” Nani paused as her voice started tightening again. It almost seemed like she was going to snap again. Maren wholeheartedly expected that. But instead, as if to catch herself, Nani sighed. “I get why you like her, Maren. Believe me, I get it. And I know how hard it is to let someone in. Cause when you do, you have that much more of a chance of losing everything. It’s scary. And I get it. But if I let my fear take over every damn time with David, do you think I’d be in a relationship right now? It takes work, Maren. A hell of a lot of work and strength. And that means you gotta be willing to put in the effort. Cause let me tell you, it’s a damn good thing David’s as patient and understanding as he is. If you knew how many times I thought I fucked up with him…. How many times I actually _did_ fuck up…. Raising a sister and working the way I do takes a toll. I got lucky. I got _damn_ lucky. But it still took me time to find balance, to accept David, and to accept myself. Cause you can’t expect someone to accept you if you don’t accept yourself. So if you wanna play the Kiss And Run and I Suck cards, you got some work to do. Yeah, they’re bonehead things to do. And yeah, you can be kind of an idiot. But that doesn’t mean you’re a screw-up. Or that we’re better off without you. Cause I’m not gonna stand here and let you make any of the mistakes I made…. Or think any of the things I thought.”

It was the most Nani ever shared with Maren.

Hell, for all she knew it was the most Nani shared with anyone.

The woman didn’t speak much of her personal life. She didn’t dwell on the past. She didn’t want peoples’ pity. She didn’t want the focus to be on her.

Whatever the hell was going on in Nani’s life, past or present, she was keeping her shit together.

That was more than Maren could say for herself.

Nani really was the mother of the group, wasn’t she? She kept everyone in line. That was why she was so harsh. Or rather, why she came across as such. She knew where the focus had to be and she did everything in her power to keep it as such. No, it wouldn’t stop her from teasing. She loved toying with people. But there was a clear difference between playing and being serious. And Maren could hear it in Nani’s voice. She meant everything that she said.

Maren was beyond wrong when she once called Elsa the matriarch.

She was certainly the queen; so perhaps, in a way, she was a matriarch in the kingdom of retail.

But Nani?

Nani was the real matriarch.

She put on a tough face so no one else had to.

She ran the front end with an iron fist so no one could get through to them.

She told it like it was to thicken their skins, because if they could handle shit from Nani, they could handle it from anyone.

When Nani was at Oaken’s, and especially when she had any part of being in charge, no matter how much she’d try to deny it, she was in full-on mother bear protection mode.

No wonder she was so hard on Maren.

And if Nani could open up on any sort of level, then so could Maren.

“I spent so much time being angry at Attina. That… That’s who Snow saw me with before. She…we had a-” Maren cut herself off and shook her head. It didn’t matter what they were, did it? She didn’t even know anymore what the hell it was they had. “I felt like after, she made my life a living hell. But I guess I did that on my own, too. I don’t know…. It’s…. Complicated.”

“People are complicated,” Nani commented. “Retail’ll have you thinking otherwise but…. Yeah.”

Maren twisted her lips. “She…. She almost sounded invested in mine and Elsa’s relationship,” she thought aloud.

“That a bad thing?” Nani asked.

Maren paused.

“I felt like she was waiting for me to screw up. Get in my face…prove she was right…. Again…. But the things she said to her…to me…I guess I didn’t see it coming. Not when she gave up the right to care ages ago.”

Nani scoffed. “So what? You think one screwed up relationship was gonna ruin your chances at another or something?”

“I don’t know,” she groaned.

“The only one who’s gonna ruin a chance of anything is you. The attitude, the self-sabotage. That’s what does it. But it doesn’t make you a screw-up. People make mistakes, Maren. And if you let this take over you and if you really believe all those things, then you’re gonna miss your chance. Elsa’ll hear you out. If you don’t take the chance and talk to her…. Ok yeah, maybe you’ll still feel like a screw-up,” Nani explained.

“Gee, thanks,” Maren mumbled sarcastically.

Nani shook her head. “But that doesn’t actually make you one. It’ll just be a huge-ass mistake. So if you want my advice-”

“I don’t remember asking for it.”

“Sucks for you, you’re getting it anyway.”

“Of course I am.”

“Running away does shit. Not talking solves nothing. So even though it’s gonna be awkward as hell, find space and time to talk about it. And tell her how you feel. Let her know what’s going on in that damn head of yours. Talk about this Attina bitch. Talk about the kiss. Talk about your fucking feelings. At least then you can move forward and not have to worry about awkwardly avoiding each other.”

_“Talk about your fucking feelings.”_

As if Maren could bottle hers up so well anyway. She tried so hard to conceal and look where it got her. Everything Maren tried so hard to conceal – when she knew she hated concealing in the first place – came back to explode in front of her in some of the worst possible ways. Maren couldn’t trust herself with her own emotions. How could Elsa begin to trust _her_?

“Look, I know I’m not the one in charge tonight, but I think you gotta take a step back from everything. Go home, get your shit together, and get some sleep,” Nani told her. “It’s better to go into something with a clear head or else you’ll blow up again. Been there, done that.”

“With David?” Maren guessed.

“Nah, with Lilo. And trust me, it’s hella worse,” Nani commented. “But for the record, it is worth it.”

Maren paused. Nani mentioning her sister reminded Maren of something.

“What about Snow…?”

“She’s still got some growing to do. She is just a kid,” Nani replied. “But she’s a kid that really looks up to you. So she’ll probably forgive you before she forgives herself. Just go easy on her, kay? Not saying shit’s gotta be sugarcoated for her. But if she’s gonna be terrified of anyone here, that’s my position. Not yours. So don’t go stealing my job, got it?”

She paused.

“Unless it’s self scan. That, you can steal.”

Not that it surprised Maren at all.

But what did surprise her?

Nani made some good points.

Even when Maren didn’t give her a lot of information to work with.

It wasn’t just about the so-called relationship Maren had with Attina, was it? It was about how Maren had been looking at herself since.

It wasn’t enough to make Maren feel better; but it did give her some things to think about.

And knowing that someone else had been there, even in the smallest capacity, did help a little.

Who would’ve thought that the person Maren needed to talk to, to help get her shit together, who would actually understand, was Nani?

“Hey Nani?”

“Yeah?”

“…Thanks.”

She scoffed.

“Don’t get too comfortable, Maren. Not like I’m about to go soft or anything.”

Her smirk began to grow to new heights while she leaned in closer to Maren, as if she were about to reveal some secret plan she had all along. Her arms folded across her chest, her eyebrows wiggled, and the most sinister chuckle that Maren ever heard escaped Nani’s lips. Maren took a step back, unsure of what the hell to expect from Nani. But she highly doubted it was something as simple as hearing Casanova again.

“Cause when this is all over you’re gonna be parading around the store in a dunce cap singing that you’re the dumbest idiot that ever lived. And I’m gonna record the whole damn thing.”

Oh no.

That damn teasing.

She could already hear the song in her head.

_My name is Maren and I was dumb so I’m singing the Maren You Idiot Song._

Nani let out a laugh, snapping Maren out of her horror fantasy.

Was she being serious or was she just trying to scare the crap out of Maren?

She had no idea which was worse.

Nani gave Maren a nudge on the shoulder. “Go on, get outta this dump for the night. See you tomorrow.” Nani approached the double doors, though she halted when she placed her hand on one to push it open. She tapped her fingers against the surface briefly. “Hey Maren?” She turned her head to face her coworker, “Stop beating yourself up about it, ok? We’ve all been there. You’ll get through it, too. You got this.”

Then, with the wave of her hand, Nani bid Maren an aloha and left her to her thoughts.

Stop beating herself up.

She wanted to…. But that was easier said than done.

It wasn’t just reliving everything all over again.

It wasn’t just that, even when Attina tried to make things right she still hurt Maren. She still thought so little of her.

It wasn’t just the feelings of inadequency and not mattering…even though those certainly played their parts.

It was that Maren had every right to beat herself up. Because even when she ran, Elsa still sucked it up and fought against her own fears and discomforts to go after her. Meanwhile Maren couldn’t even give her the courtesy of an answer.

She did have a lot of work to do, didn’t she?

If she hadn’t been enough for Attina, there was no way in hell she’d ever be enough for Elsa.

Maren had so much work to do for all of their sakes.

“Maren…?”

Maren’s head shot up. Her brown eyes met a pair of familiar blue ones, though not quite the ones she always wanted to get lost into.

Ella poked her head through the double doors, though seemed to give Maren an extra moment to gather herself before entering fully. “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to go too far in case you needed anything. How are you feeling…?”

Like she had gotten run over by a train, knocked down a cliff, and fallen face first into the mud where she belonged.

But she wasn’t going to say that out loud.

She opened her mouth to admit, I don’t know. It was the closest thing to the truth.

But something different came out instead.

“I’m sorry.”

Maren shook her head.

“I…. I said a lot of things back there. I shouldn’t’ve…. I didn’t…. I mean….”

Well, that was going well.

Not.

“It’s a lot,” Ella finished almost knowingly. “People make bad choices if they’re mad or scared or stressed.”

“I definitely did all those,” Maren confessed quietly.

She was mad at herself, to say the least.

She was scared about repurcisions she caused and what was going to come next. She was scared about what she did to Elsa and how it would affect her.

She was stressed from everything – Attina, the reminders, the hurt she felt and how she in turn hurt not just Elsa but Snow as well, the weight she unknowingly put on her own shoulders, and the mere possibility of losing Elsa for good.

Maren absolutely made bad choices.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Ella offered.

As in, more than she already had? And when she knew she was going to have to revisit all of this and more with Elsa?

No, she really didn’t.

So instead she asked, “How do you do it?”

Ella tilted her head.

“Just…. Come in here with the attitude you do? Do…. Do people ever say nice things to you? Here or at the hotel?” Maren asked.

Ella’s face fell. “Not really…. No,” she admitted.

“How do you not let it get to you then? Just…. Believe everything?” Maren shook her head in doubt.

“With a lot of time and practice. I know that’s not….. But it isn’t as easy as it looks. A lot of the time, I have to remind myself that they’re just thoughts. And thoughts can’t hurt me. Not if I want there to be something better out there,” she explained.

Maren hesitated. “Can…. Can other peoples’ thoughts actually hurt you…?”

Ella blinked. “Is….” She paused. She seemed to consider her words cautiously, not daring to remotely consider overinvolving herself. As if she ever could. “Is this about that girl…? The one Snow left you and Elsa with…?”

Maren couldn’t have disputed that if she tried.

“Yeah….”

Another pause.

“It…. It sounds like she made some pretty bad choices, too,” Ella surmised.

That felt like an understatement.

Maren shook her head. “She couldn’t even accept I was right about anything. Even when it was one thing. Like it was just so hard for her to believe I really am bi. But it’s not good enough for her, is it? I’m not good enough for her.”

A final pause.

“It sounds like she didn’t think she was good enough for you,” Ella commented.

Maren highly doubted that. She never had anything over Attina. And while it was tempting to deny Ella’s comment completely, Maren couldn’t bring herself to do that. That was simply Ella trying to look on the bright and hopeful side as she always did. It was appreciated, even if Maren couldn’t fully acknowledge it.

“Thanks for trying.”

Ella cupped her hands together. “I know this can’t possibly mean much. And I understand if you say no or if I’m overstepping in any way. Because I know there isn’t much. But…. Is there anything I _can_ do?”

The obvious answer was no; there wasn’t anything Ella could do. This was Maren’s to deal with. She considered what Nani said; that the next right thing to do was to go home, get some rest, and clear her head. Then she could talk to Elsa. She could try to make things right.

But there was a different idea that came to Maren’s mind. Maybe it wasn’t the obvious answer for anyone else; but to her, it was the only answer. And it was the one that mattered the most.

“Just make sure Elsa’s ok.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody else here love Gravity Falls and remember the Stan Wrong Song? i joked one night it should be changed to the Maren You Idiot Song. Now after seeing everyone's collective MAREN YOU IDIOT from last chapter, it is. She has to do it now. Sorry not sorry. (By the way do you guys actually WANT to see her do it?)
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - This chapter already went through a few rewrites before it was originally shared. And one way or another it was meant to be intense. While the original posting was much more toned down compared to what i originally had, it was perhaps indicated in the wrong way. It went so far as to have Nani acting as if she was actually going to punch Maren. And that was something that was brought to my attention; Nani reacting that way combined with Maren getting so much lecturing and being yelled at while there was a huge defense on Elsa. The reason for Nani's original defending of Elsa is easy to explain: because of the loyalty there, because Nani feels an obligation to help try to protect Elsa, and also because she's the only one who knows Elsa's orientation and these are things Nani takes VERY seriously. But that didn't give Maren the right to be pounded on the way it was originally written. And especially after rewriting Chapters 32 and 35, realizing that Maren is not necessarily as confident as she lets on and, once in a while, she does deal with maybe this kind of intrusive voice from the past telling her she's messing up or not good enough, it was absolutely not fair.
> 
> Some things here did stay the same. To an extent, the back and forth between Maren and Nani; Maren taking her frustration out on Snow; and parts of Nani's speech about opening up to Maren. The latter i especially wanted to keep as much as possible because it was so important, because it was such a moment for Nani, and it really does mean something that she shared it. But what i did with that is, i took the focus off of Nani being pissed at Maren and edited it to better reflect that, at one point, Nani had also been Maren. Even if Maren isn't sharing a lot of her feelings about what happened or talking about Attina, it's clearly taking a toll on her. And the feelings of self-depreciation and fear she's ultimately experiencing, it's not just her that dealt with it. The intensity that in the beginning came from Maren and Nani's interaction in the beginning was more of Nani's annoyance with Maren not showing up to back them up at work when she was needed and, while a lot of it was from Nani, it became clear as i was writing and rewriting that the emotion of everything was specifically from Maren. Maren and Nani are both strong and protective women and they care deeply for the people close to them; but they're also allowed to be hurt and vulnerable.
> 
> It was a last minute decision to add an interaction between Maren and Ella. While i had discarded the idea at first, because Ella is the peacemaker generally speaking, it's not on her to constantly be a mediator or anything. That being said, Ella does have a moment of her own next chapter and the little exchange between her and Maren is something that helps better lead into that. And while Nani and Maren don't go at it in this rewrite the way i intended for them to in the first posting, it still felt like the right thing to have Ella be there as a voice of support and confidence. Because regardless, she is always there. Whether Maren messed up with Attina or Elsa or whoever, what both Nani and Ella wanted to try to get through to her is that [as much as we joke about Maren being an idiot] she is not a screw-up and they believe in and support her no matter what. And i hope that all explains and covers most of the chapter.
> 
> Side note fun game for when we make jokes about Maren being an idiot From the beginning of the story take a shot (or a bite of chocolate, your call) every time you yell or think MAREN YOU IDIOT! See how drunk or high off sugar you can get by the time you reach the end! [Disclaimer: the drinking game is a joke more than anything, this user does not encourage excessive drinking, also this user does not encourage reading this whole story in one go.] [Other Disclaimer: Again, MAREN YOU IDIOT is a running gag and not meant to put her down or demean her in any way, it's basically been a joke since the beginning before any rewrites, we are only teasing Maren and absolutely love her.]
> 
> i'll be going back to one update a week now (not even just cause Jewish holiday this weekend, my schedule is still wonky and i got some writing and planning to do anyway). Not making any promises for changes or going back to two updates a week, but also i spammed you guys enough already. i hope you guys continue to enjoy the ride and thank you for letting me use this story as my venting and accidentally making you guys happy with it somehow. Hang in there everyone and i'll see you next week!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i think at this point most of you saw my crackfic oneshot for this series LOL. And the general consensus with that is, how the hell did they get to that point and when do we get to see more? And honestly, i still can't say how accurate it fully is to this AU or if it's actually a scene from the future as much as it is an idea or, again, a crackfic. But i think this is pretty much solidifying that, ok after this particular story is done there _definitely_ needs to be more. So what i might do is, at some point in any of the author notes, update on how the progress with that is going or ask for comments/suggestions/ideas. As many retail horror stories as i do still have to share irl and while i do have ideas i wanna explore in general, i also do wanna hear what you guys have to say. So i guess eyes peeled for that? So now that that obvious thing is outta the way, time to jump into half responding to some of the comments from last chapter! Full responses to the actual comments to come later!  
> @MLauren - Ok that's a lotta emotions and now i have no idea how the hell to brace myself for reactions from this coming chapter... o.0  
> @Ann - Maren absolutely still deserves to be called an idiot lol! But at least she has Nani to knock some kinda sense into her. And i'm HIGHLY considering involving Maren singing the Maren You Idiot song at some point in this story.... 0=)  
> @holographicbulbbles - Ok so that's 2 votes for the Maren You Idiot song lol. But no, absolutely what Maren did is not the way to go about kissing someone. Especially Elsa. But between how good she generally is and the narrative, i figured it shouldn't've needed to be stated that she absolutely should've asked for consent and i think that definitely plays a part in her reaction/feelings. Kinda starting to think we all need a Nani in our lives now....  
> @Superamy777 - Oh, Snow was definitely over the top with her story. i think it's a combination of her showing just how far she'd go and maybe to a lesser extent that the more she gave the more she'd cover the tracks of the lie. i think you described Maren the way i couldn't totally figure out how to, which is a crack in her character. And it also shows how vastly different something affects her compared to Elsa. As for Elsa, she definitely took a huge leap of faith and i promise that will be rewarded!  
> @Ravrav - I WILL BE SPAMMING YOU GUYS WITH MY RETAIL CRAP STORY FOREVER AT THIS RATE OK? i mean i did try to warn that chizz would hit the ceiling, just...i may not have specified what _kind_ of chizz XD Will there be fluff again? Eventually. Seriously though how the hell did you read all this AGAIN so quickly AND PLEASE STOP ENCOURAGING EVERYONE TO READ THE WHOLE THING FROM THE BEGINNING LOL.  
> @fanficfruitts - LOL tell me how you really feel, fruitts! XD  
> @RobinPercher - As tempting as it would've been to escalate it even further and make it _more_ like Nani was gonna punch Maren, that would've been too over the top and not the answer at all. But Maren definitely needed someone to get through to her. It never fully sinks in how much people are enjoying this even when any of the comments say that, it just never fully feels real to me that you and everyone else have so many nice things to say about this story. But that has absolutely been a driving force behind not just continuing to write this, but ultimately planning on how to continue the AU as well.
> 
> Ok not sure if you guys actually saw this coming, and i don't wanna say Ask And You Shall Receive because even though it may pertain to a future story that means absolutely nothing for this chapter, but you've all said that you can't wait to see Elsa's side? Here it comes!

This was bad.

No, this was worse than bad.

This was….

Oh god, what was even the right word for it?

How could this have happened?

How could Maren just…?

Elsa never felt so conflicted in her life.

She felt it.

Well...through the somewhat thin, disposable mask on her face.

But there was absolutely no question about it.

Maren kissed her.

Elsa wouldn’t have believed it if she didn’t experience it for herself. She never expected…. She never would have guessed…. Hell, she never even would have imagined….

It felt good.

It felt so damn good.

And warm.

Like something was just surging through her body.

Something she never experienced before.

But at the same time….

It was electric.

And not in the way people often described a kiss.

It was electric like a shock, something that caused her body to flinch.

It was absolutely nothing compared to the instances in which they held hands.

Sure, they had gotten close before; even Elsa would admit there were a few times where they were close enough that they could have….

But there was a difference between being close enough to do something and actually doing it.

And Maren had been so amazing with Elsa’s personal space. Not once had Elsa ever felt pressured to reach out to her in any way or feel obligated to make a move. Every time, every opportunity, every possible instance, Maren always gave Elsa that choice. And suddenly, not even in the blink of an eye, everything was different.

Maren made the decision for both of them to just kiss her.

There was no warning.

There were no questions.

It just…. Happened.

Not that it had been forceful; not by any means.

It was soft.

Of course it could have felt so light because of the mask between them.

But how….

How could something make Elsa feel so good yet so terrified?

It was a level of physical contact she never experienced with anyone, hell something she never even thought she would experience.

And Maren did it without knowing about Elsa.

If she knew, how would she react? Would she feel guilty? Would she apologize? Would she think differently of Elsa? Would she feel deceived? Or worse, disgusted? Would she regret it? And if she did, would it be because she felt bad or because she’d never want to do it again with Elsa? Maybe that was why Maren ran. Why she didn’t respond to Elsa’s calls.

_Elsa had no idea what to expect when Snow came running to her. She just said that something happened and she needed Elsa. Without giving it a second thought, Elsa instructed Nani to keep her eyes out._

_“What happened? Is everything alright?” Elsa asked as they ran past the blockade._

_“Maren needs help with a customer. You have to pretend to be her girlfriend and my foster mom!” Snow blurted in between dashes._

_Elsa almost tripped over her own two feet._

_She had to do WHAT?_

_“Snow…. Whoa!” The blonde barely regained her composure. “I have to do_ what _??”_

_Snow halted and slowly turned to face her supervisor. “Pretend to be my foster mom and Maren’s girlfriend…” she squeaked._

_Elsa felt her chest heaving. She had to…. She and Maren…. With Snow…. They had to…. WHAT?_

_Snow must have picked up on Elsa’s distressed look before her gaze automatically shifted from innocent to apologetic and she raised her hands slightly. “I know…. I know it was wrong. But…. But Maren needed help. There was this girl and she was struggling and…. I didn’t know what else to do. I thought if maybe I talked her up…. And I knew you would be able to help.”_

_“Why me, though?” Elsa gasped with wide eyes._

_“Because you’d do anything for us. And you_ can _do anything,” Snow said simply._

_If only she knew how wrong she was._

_“Snow…. We can’t…. I can’t…. I’m…. She’s not….”_

_How the hell could she even begin to describe this? She couldn’t pretend because she wasn’t out? She couldn’t pretend because she was sure Maren would never go along with it? She couldn’t pretend because, if even for a few minutes she did, she would want it to be real all too desperately?_

_Elsa looked away and began to fidget with her hands. This was too much. She couldn’t…. She wouldn’t…._

_“Elsa…”_

_Snow’s voice was quiet. Bordering on pleading. And Elsa could see it in her eyes. She wanted so much to help Maren. She really believed she was doing the right thing. She ran to Elsa because she knew she could trust her. She knew that if anyone could help out, it was Elsa._

_For some stupid reason or another._

_“Please…?”_

What else was she supposed to do? Elsa knew shit about being a girlfriend. She doubted she could even pretend. But for Snow? For Maren?

Ugh.

What the hell was she even thinking?

And then, when Attina asked if Elsa really was Maren’s girlfriend….

The blonde shivered just thinking about it.

_At first she had no idea what to say. The obvious answer was yes. That’s what she had to say to play along, wasn’t it? That was what Snow wanted? But was it what Maren wanted? And when Elsa looked at the brunette, her back was facing them. She couldn’t even turn around to face them. Was the whole situation making Maren that uncomfortable? Would she have wanted Snow to bring over anyone else? Was it being around this woman that made Maren so uncomfortable? And if the latter was the case…. Whatever hold this Attina person had on Maren, how could Elsa just stand by and watch Maren struggle? How could she let Maren suffer? What kind of friend would Elsa be if she didn’t step in? And, at the very least, Elsa and Maren were friends. She knew that much._

_She just hoped that this wouldn’t put it at risk._

_And that she would do enough to help Maren out without getting Elsa’s personal hopes up._

_But mostly the first one._

_“It…. It’s still pretty new.”_

_That sounded believable, right? A simple enough answer? A decent explanation as to her own awkwardness? And...Maren’s awkwardness…? Wait, Maren was awkward?_

_“How new?” Attina wondered._

_“A couple of months,” Elsa answered._

_Well...it was semi-truthful. She had only known Maren a little over a month. Would it really be a stretch to add an extra one?_

_“And she already met your…?” Attina inquired._

_Elsa blinked._

_Oh! Snow!_

_Snow, the girl who Elsa and Maren had basically adopted as their sister but now had to pretend to be her foster mothers for some reason._

_Did impressing a random woman count as a reason?_

_Whoever this woman was?_

_“Well...we do both work here, so…. I suppose it was a bit difficult not to,” Elsa covered._

_Still totally believable._

_“And how long with her?” Attina asked._

_“Right when she turned sixteen.”_

_It was so much easier to answer the questions about Snow. At least there, there was the faintest hint of truth. Snow did start working at Oaken’s as soon as she turned sixteen, so she might as well have been with Elsa in any other regard the same amount of time. They both did work at Oaken’s. They did meet Maren through work. They spent a large portion of their time together – though the pandemic was partially to thank for that. Maybe it was also Elsa’s sisterly instincts kicking in. She knew what she was doing there; she had Anna to thank for that. Even if Elsa was never the perfect sister – far from it, in fact – she knew enough. And Snow trusted her enough with this._

If only they could have kept going on about Snow.

But then Elsa had to go and open her big mouth, sending Snow off and leaving her and Maren alone with Attina.

Elsa’s grip tightened and she let out the faintest groan.

She recalled Attina implying if she and Maren wanted to….

Greet each other _properly_...Elsa supposed?

As if they were expected to….

_Elsa tried to conceal. She did her best to. Their cover was about to be blown because of Elsa...being Elsa. She didn’t even have the right description for it._

_But that was one of the things Elsa did best, wasn’t it? Be her closed off, awkward self. She couldn’t even help Maren because she…._

_What was she supposed to do? Walk over to Maren and hug her? Call her Honey in front of someone else? Kiss her cheek? Kiss_ her _? It took so much effort for Elsa to even be open to hugging Snow. How the hell could she bring herself to hug Maren when she’d barely even held her hand before? What was worse…._

_Elsa never kissed anyone. She never thought it would be a remote possibility to do that. Not even because of people potentially not accepting her. How could she think about doing something like that when she wasn’t even sure how she felt about that? Now she was just supposed to walk up to Maren, her friend who she so happened to like, and just…. Kiss her? Like they did it all the time?_

_Meanwhile Maren hadn’t said a single word since Elsa arrived. She couldn’t even turn around to them. Why the hell would Maren kiss her right now anyway?_

_“O...oh…. I, I am working, though. That would be unprofessional.”_

_That sounded like a decent enough save. And it wouldn’t have been out of character for Elsa. Even if she was...with anyone...she highly doubted she would be comfortable with public displays of affection. And she was so focused on her work. How would it look if she just…?_

_No. It was best to not overthink it. She said what she said. She knew it made sense for her. She just hoped Attina fell for it as well._

_“I...I don’t mind. You, you should absolutely…” Attina stammered._

_Oh shit._

_That wasn’t how it was supposed to go._

_What happened to respecting peoples’ wishes?_

_What happened to smiling and nodding and letting it go?_

_What the hell was even happening to basically push Elsa and Maren to kiss?_

_Who would even want to see that?_

_Actually, it was best not to have that question answered._

_Elsa took a sharp breath. She had to hold her ground. Never mind to keep the lie going. She had to stand by her statement. No meant no and whatever the reason may have been, it wasn’t Attina’s or anyone else’s business._

_“M...Maren knows how I am with boundaries. And, as...as I said, this…. It’s still fairly new. I would prefer to refrain for the time being.”_

If only that had been the end of it. So many times, Elsa’s queenly voice, that...that damn Snow Queen persona...would have been enough to shut someone up. Sooner or later the person would move on and Elsa could breathe again. But somehow they continued talking.

Elsa and Attina, that is.

For whatever reason, Maren stayed quiet the entire time.

Elsa wondered what Attina had been to Maren. If somehow, there could have remotely been a chance that she was the one who caused Maren discomfort instead of Elsa. 

And then Attina made that comment.

And then Attina made that comment.

_“She.... She made it really hard not to like her.”_

_Elsa wondered what that meant._

_How could it be hard not to like Maren?_

_Almost as if she had to…convince them somehow._

_But Elsa never felt that way. There was never anything Maren had to do to ‘convince’ her to like her. She just…. She gravitated towards Maren. There was an inexplicable pull there._ _Elsa couldn’t put her finger on it. She couldn’t begin to describe what attracted her to Maren, let alone what remotely piqued her interest about the woman. No, Elsa never needed to be convinced to like Maren._

_She needed convincing to feel comfortable in her own skin, of course._

_She needed convincing to feel comfortable with her sexuality._

_But when it came to liking women? To liking_ Maren _? There was…._

_Elsa wouldn’t go so far as to say there was no second thought. There was absolutely always a question because there were so many variables. There were so many things out of her control. There were so many reasons Elsa had to believe that it would never happen. Let alone that it would work._

_But once she knew, there was no getting around it._

_She absolutely liked Maren._

_Realizing that, Elsa felt a blush creep onto her cheeks. “Maren never had to do such a thing with me.” She paused, pulling in her lips. If…if she said what was really on her mind, would Maren…?_

_But it would be an insult otherwise. Surely Maren had to know there was no truth to Attina’s words._

_“She made it very easy to like her.”_

_“If…. If you don’t mind….” Attina paused. “Could...could you tell me what it was…? Please?”_

_Elsa blinked. “A….” She paused. “About Maren…?”_

_There was a pause._

_“Y...yeah. I…” Attina gulped. She almost seemed...uncertain somehow. Did she…. Were she and Maren ever…? “I’d like to know what I missed out on.”_

_Oh…._

_Oh._

_So they were…._

_Elsa held in a sigh._

_No wonder Maren had been so quiet._

_Attina was an ex, wasn’t she?_

_That was why Maren was so awkward._

_That was why she needed help._

_That was why Snow reacted the way she did._

_Why she made up the story in the first place._

_Because Maren accidentally ran into an ex._

_Elsa had seen this in a number of romantic comedies._

_Thanks, Anna, she thought sarcastically._

_A grand, elaborate fib had to be concocted when two exes met up in an attempt to make the other jealous. So they would both realize what the other missed out on. And they would end up getting back together. That was the whole point of this, wasn’t it? How could Elsa just hold Maren back like that? How could she even…?_

_This was the grand plan all along, wasn’t it?_

_It hurt._

_It hurt more than Elsa cared to admit._

_But for Maren…._

_Elsa would absolutely make sure to sell it._

_For once she was going to allow herself to speak directly from the heart._

_Even if Maren didn’t believe her, even if it was all based on a lie…._

_Elsa would do it for Maren._

_She was going to let Attina know how amazing Maren was._

_She just…._

_She had to make sure Maren was ok with it._

_She couldn’t do it without Maren’s permission._

_If this was going to be her only chance to speak as truthfully and honestly as she could about Maren…. Maren deserved to know what she was in for._

_And anyone absolutely should know how incredible Maren was. How much she deserved._

_“Maren…?”_

_She stepped cautiously in front of the brunette._

_Maren’s eyes widened at Elsa’s sudden appearance, but the blonde didn’t think anything of it. Instead she just watched as Maren pulled down her mask so she could speak to Elsa._

_It was probably for the best, since the damn masks did muddy up communication a bit._

_“You don’t have to do this,” she murmured._

_“It’s ok. I don’t mind,” Elsa promised._

_Even though she sort of did._

_But…._

_But it was for Maren._

_She could make herself not mind._

_“Go back. I’ll handle this. Just….” Maren seemed to falter over her words._

_Handle it?_

_That was a crock._

_Maren wasn’t handling a damn thing right now. Even Elsa could see that. She had to help. No matter how much she may not have wanted to at that moment._

_“Maren.”_

_Her voice was soft yet authoritative. Perhaps it was more for Elsa’s sake than anything else. If she sounded certain, maybe…._

_Maybe she could convince herself she really would be ok with this._

_And then she would also be able to convince Maren._

_Even if her voice didn’t do the trick, there was one other thing that would._

_Elsa placed her hand over Maren’s. It took everything in Elsa’s power to keep her grip steady. To have a strong hold. To show the faintest hint of confidence._

_“I want to,” she promised almost inaudibly._

_No._

_She_ had _to._

_And so she spoke. She started her description simply. Elsa’s eyes were closed as she began, not wanting to make eye contact with anyone. She knew if she did…. She would not be able to last. She had to forget whom she was talking to. She had to forget that Maren was right in front of her. She had to focus on only one thing._

_So she chose to focus on the moment where she believed everything changed. She thought back to that shift with Snow. The one where the customer blew up about the waters. The one where Maren ran after her. The one that ended with the two of them adopting her._

_It almost sounded silly._

_Elsa and Maren adopting Snow._

_But they kind of did, didn’t they?_

_Elsa recalled everything about that night so perfectly. She remembered how Maren didn’t give it a second thought. She remembered how stubborn Maren was, refusing to leave Snow’s side. She remembered Maren speaking with passion. She remembered Maren offering herself to Snow. Comforting her. Protecting her. How she’d been doing that every chance she got since. She thought about how that affected Snow. How much that girl seemed to have grown as a result. The way Snow carried herself. How comfortable she looked. How much brighter she shone. Maren did that. She did that for Snow and…._

_And she sort of did it for Elsa._

_Elsa wouldn’t go so far as to describe it as a side of her she never thought she had. But she did feel a presence like never before. She felt ease like never before. Even if Maren didn’t fully know her. Even if she didn’t know all of Elsa’s story. Even if she didn’t know what Elsa was. Something about her felt…. Like home._

_Maren did that for Snow._

_And she did it for Elsa._

_As Elsa rounded off her explanation, she…._

_She was unsure if it was a realization or if she was simply too lost in her own story._

_But she said exactly what she felt was right in that moment._

_“And…. I love_ her _for that.”_

_There was a pause._

_It was almost too perfect. A perfectly concocted, believable lie._

_She had no idea what the hell to expect after that. What anyone would say. What anyone would do. Maybe Attina would comment on how sweet it was. Maybe she’d walk away and leave Maren and Elsa to be awkward, useless lesbians...or whatever they were...together. But then Elsa would have to explain herself to Maren. She’d have to come up with an explanation. Something believable as to how she pulled that out of her ass. Even though she absolutely didn’t._

_But the absolute last thing she expected was to feel something against her lips._

_Or, rather her mask._

_But…._

She bit her lower lip. She felt her fingers tremble between locks of hair. She wanted so bad to touch her lips. The spot where Maren kissed. Or, sort of kissed. She wanted to revisit that feeling. Remember what it felt like. Experience it again.

Except that Maren ran.

Almost as soon as it happened, it was over.

And Maren ran.

The one time Elsa went after her…. The one time Elsa actually got her shit together and was willing to chase after Maren and actually talk to her like an adult….

But Maren was nowhere to be found. And Elsa had no choice but to catch her breath in the most familiar way she could – with her melody.

She did that as she left the back, then Receiving, and finally the store, in hopes of keeping some sort of composure.

She had no idea how long she’d been sitting outside for, leaning forward with her head in her hands and her loose hair flowing above or in between her fingertips.

Good thing it was a mild night.

It was best to be outside, anyway. Maren could stay hidden wherever she was in the store. And then, even if she did walk out, she could run straight to her car as if Elsa didn’t exist. As if Maren would even come looking for her anyway. If Maren couldn’t stand to face her, how could Elsa?

“Elsa…?”

Why did everyone love proving her wrong?

Elsa let out a sigh. She could hear Snow’s surprisingly quiet and apologetic voice. But as much as she enjoyed the company of her pseudo-sister, for once Elsa wanted no part of her found sitcom retail family. She just wanted to be alone.

“What do you want, Snow?” she asked, not caring for once how she sounded.

“I just wanted to apologize.”

Pause.

“How much of that did you see?”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for anything to happen.”

That helped not at all.

And it helped even less to know that Snow saw the kiss.

The kiss that was never supposed to happen.

The kiss that was so obviously meant for someone else.

Elsa was merely caught in the crossfire thanks to her story.

“What were you even thinking, Snow?”

“I was thinking that...that Maren was in trouble. She was struggling talking to that girl and…. I thought if I went over and talked her up, it would make everything better.”

“You could have done that without involving me.”

She could practically hear Snow flinching at her surprisingly harsh tone.

Not that Elsa meant for it to come out that bad; it was her fear and frustrations talking.

“I know….”

Snow’s voice remained quiet and apologetic. Elsa knew the teen felt remorse for what she did. Her heart had been in the right place, wanting to help Maren. Of course she wanted to talk her up and prove to that woman how amazing Maren was. But why did Elsa need to play a part in it? Was it really some way to get the two of them together? Was Snow actually plotting to set them up that whole time? How long did she even know? Where was the line between the truth and deceit?

Elsa couldn’t bring herself to sit up let alone look up at Snow as she spoke again.

“Why did you do it?”

Snow paused.

“Because….”

Pause again.

“Because I was selfish. The two of you are so amazing together. And you’re the closest things I have to actual mothers. I just thought…. Maybe it would be nice to pretend for once. I never knew my real mother…. I know that’s probably not the word to use…. But my stepmother was never an actual mother to me. So when I heard that girl keep putting Maren down I just…. I thought that maybe she’d seem more important if she was just too busy being a mom to me to work. And I knew that if anyone could help show how amazing Maren is, it was you.”

Elsa held in a sigh.

Snow made it so damn difficult to be angry with her.

Of course there was never any manipulation. Not on purpose.

Snow just wanted to help her sister. And Elsa supposed she should take it as a compliment; that Snow thought of her and trusted her enough to help her. She knew that if there was anyone else in the store she could have turned to for help it was Elsa. What was so terrible about that?

Besides it indirectly leading to one of the worst-case scenarios Elsa could have imagined?

“Snow, there’s nothing wrong with being selfish once in a while,” the blonde sighed.

Shaking her head, Elsa willed herself to remove her head from her hands and sit up straight. From the corner of her eye she saw that Snow occupied the empty section of the bench next to Elsa, but kept enough distance so she wasn’t too close. She must have been sitting right on the edge. She could tell that Snow felt bad. But...did she also feel scared in some way? Was she also keeping her distance because she was afraid of how Elsa was going to react? What she’d say or do? 

“I just wish you would have gone about it a different way,” Elsa admitted. “I know how much you care and I know how much you look up to the both of us but…. We’re not your mothers, Snow. We’re still your sisters, of course, but…. But there is a difference between fantasy and reality. And you have to be able to recognize that.”

“I know…” Snow confessed softly, gaze down.

If only Elsa could convince herself of that as well.

“Maren’s mad at me, too,” Snow said.

Elsa shook her head. “I don’t believe you are the one she’s angry with.”

“She could never be angry with you. She…” Snow started.

But for some reason, she cut herself off. Elsa looked to the teenager curiously. What was Snow about to say? What was she stopping herself from sharing? What did she know? Elsa tried to read Snow’s expression. It wasn’t exactly blank as much as it was just...empty. Or perhaps lost in thought. Was there something Snow knew? Something that Elsa didn’t? Or would Snow have been speaking on her own behalf?

Of course Snow made it no secret how much she cared. She openly admitted to loving her sisters. She offered herself to both of them in any way that she could. Elsa had never let anyone hug her that much besides Anna. Snow very much put her heart on the line every time, despite knowing the high possibility that Elsa would turn her away again. Thankfully she never seemed to take offense to it; there was always the question of consent first. Even though a hug was something so simple. Did she think that perhaps, if she spoke from her own heart on behalf of Maren, it would ease Elsa somehow? That if she did that Elsa would be less annoyed? Or less afraid?

Because there was no way, especially after that, that Maren could actually feel something for Elsa.

And why would she want to?

Not when there was someone else to impress.

Someone Maren actually had history with.

Someone who could actually give Maren everything.

Someone who….

A car alarm snapped the two of them out of it. Elsa’s head shot up across the parking lot, as did Snow’s. On the other end of the lot, towards the back, they could see Maren approaching her car.

She must have been leaving early because she really couldn’t stand to be there any longer.

Because she couldn’t stand to be near Elsa any longer.

Elsa held her breath as she watched the woman stop at her car. There was a hesitation before Maren lifted her head. And then, Elsa could have sworn she looked in their direction. It was too far off for Elsa to be able to read her expression. She just knew Maren’s eyes were on them. On her.

Her heart raced and her breath hitched. Should she race over to her? Should she try to explain herself? Should she just...talk? Open her mouth and let whatever came out, come out?

No pun intended.

But then, as quickly as the thought entered her head, Maren stepped inside her car.

Elsa exhaled and turned her head away. She should not have been surprised. But it still stung.

And she absolutely deserved it.

After a minute, Snow’s voice broke the silence.

“Should we go back inside…?”

Elsa sighed. “I don’t really want to see anyone right now.”

“We can go in together,” Snow offered. “I’m certain Nani and Ella will want to talk to me, too.”

“You make it sound like they’re your relatives about to scold you,” Elsa couldn’t help but observe.

“Well...they kind of are,” Snow mused lightly.

“Ella would never,” Elsa promised.

“But Nani,” the teen pointed out.

Elsa groaned. “We are so going to get it from her.”

Though she had no idea what the hell to expect, Elsa knew well enough by now to always brace herself for Nani. She could only imagine what kind of hell that woman was waiting to give her. Even though Elsa was technically still her superior; but that never fazed Nani one bit. That woman gave everyone equal hell.

“Ok,” Elsa conceded. “Together then.”

What did she have to lose with Maren gone for the night anyway?

And if she didn’t face anyone now, it would have to be the next night.

Although Elsa would prefer never.

With the faintest of smiles, Snow stood up from the bench. She offered her hand to Elsa, which the blonde took the edge of lightly. Elsa didn’t think too much of it at that moment. She just knew that she and Snow were on the same page. There was no need to remain angry with her for simply doing what she thought was right. Nor could Elsa be annoyed with Snow for being selfish this one time. She was sure that Nani and Ella had spent some time talking to Maren while the two of them were outside. And if they were going to give it to anyone on any level, they might as well tackle Snow and Elsa at the same time.

If only Elsa had an inkling of what to expect when they entered the store again.

The two women stood at the other end of the store, near self scan. Nani was leaning on one of the machines; back semi-against the glass while one foot was raised against the metal to even her balance. Her arms were folded and her gaze was narrow. Ella, on the other hand, stood poised with her fingers interlaced together over her chest.

On second thought, maybe Maren had the right idea by leaving.

Was it too late for Elsa to turn around and hope for never as well?

“Elsa...could you talk to us? Please…?” Ella asked hopefully.

Elsa pulled in her lips. “I’d rather not….”

Ella nodded. “All right…. Well...how about…. Then….” She seemed to be searching for the proper wording. “Is there any way you could tell us anything that happened? At all…?”

Ok, was there anyone who _didn’t_ know now?

“I have to go,” Elsa decided quickly. She let go of Snow’s hand and turned to run out of the store, not caring if she was clocked in or not or if she left anything behind.

“Drop the fucking act, Snow Queen,” Nani snorted.

That caused Elsa to stop in her tracks.

“Nani…” Ella gasped.

“No,” Nani shook her head. “I’m not letting her off the hook. Not this time. And I’m not gonna apologize for cursing in front of either of you. You’re big girls. Handle it. That goes for you, too, Snow Queen.”

“Nani….” Elsa groaned.

“Don’t you Nani me,” she snapped. “We've been dealing with this shit for too long. I played mediator long enough. I’m done. So either the both of you woman up or you’re gonna be getting a shitload more from me. Get your fucking act together, Elsa. Stop running and start doing. It was funny in the beginning and yeah, it’s fun as hell to mess with you. I’m not gonna apologize for that. But it’s over now. Put everything out in the open where it belongs. I know I said what I wouldn’t give you shit for. I stand by that. What I’m not gonna stand by is watch you two continue to be some useless lesbian and a clueless…. You.”

Well at least Nani deserved credit for one thing – even in a fit of anger she still kept quiet about Elsa’s sexuality.

“Actually…. Maren said she’s bi. I think we should use her preferred label,” Snow suggested cautiously.

Nani groaned and rolled her eyes. “UGH! Whatever the hell she is! My point is, they’ve been beating around this for too long and we’ve been playing along with it too long. So if one of em isn’t gonna open up their damn mouth and say something, I will.”

Elsa’s eyes widened.

No….

No!

They didn’t….

Nani didn’t….

How could they even think…?

What possibly made them believe…?

How in the world…?

Would they really…?

They couldn’t….

They wouldn’t….

Would they…?

Gasping, Elsa turned on her heel and faced her coworkers. She pulled her hands in towards her chest, beginning to feel her breath quickening and her heart rate pulsing out of control. She could feel her hands shaking.

“Elsa…?” Snow asked gently.

She took a step closer but the blonde jerked back. Elsa shook her head rapidly before her eyes fell back to Nani.

“Did you…?” she choked.

To that, Nani raised an eyebrow and twisted her lips with confusion.

Shaking her head, Ella approached Elsa. She gently took Elsa’s hand and pulled her a bit to the side. It wasn’t too far off that Nani and Snow couldn’t hear them, but it was enough distance to at least imply some privacy. Elsa’s hand continued to shake as she felt the unconsented contact. She wanted to pull it away, to jerk back and run, but for once Ella was relentless. Despite that, as she let go of Elsa’s hand and turned to her, her gaze was nothing short of concerned. Her face was soft and even as she released Elsa’s hand she seemed to understand that her sudden reaction was unwarranted. She set her hands down to her sides; allowing Elsa’s hands to jerk back tight into her own chest. 

“Elsa, no one said anything to anyone. We all figured it out on our own,” Ella confessed gently. “Nani covered it with her teasing and Snow had her own assumptions. Or...perhaps hopes. None of us talked about it with each other. It wasn’t within our rights.”

Elsa blinked.

They all knew…?

They knew about Elsa…?

Or rather…. Elsa liking Maren?

Unless that also meant they knew about her?

Wait a minute….

Elsa blinked and let out some huffed breaths.

“You, too…?”

Ella gave a single nod. “I had my suspicions.”

Elsa furrowed her brows. “H...how…? When…?”

Ella shrugged. “I wasn’t sure of anything specific. I just…. I had a hunch with the way some of the male customers would flirt with you. At first I thought, the way that you talked to them, that was you covering the way you do with all of the other customers. The...the ice persona you use. But the more of them you shut down, the more I assumed it was more than just them. But it wasn’t my place to ask.”

Elsa blinked. She opened her mouth to speak, but nothing came out right away. “Wh...when was all this…?” She recalled absolutely no instance where any guys ever flirted with her. When the hell...why would _anyone_ flirt with Elsa?

Ella shrugged. “Somewhat sporadically over the couple of years I’ve been here.”

She paused all while Elsa continued to digest this new information.

If Ella knew all that time….

If she always knew Elsa wasn’t….

How obvious had it been to everyone else?

How long had they really known for?

“Elsa…”

She briefly snapped out of it upon hearing Ella’s voice again. She willed her eyes to meet the similar blue ones.

“I know what it’s like to have to hide. At the hotel…. My boss can be….” She sighed. “Some of the things she says can be very problematic. I don’t think she understands. And I don’t think she knows how much her words can hurt. It’s not the best place to be out.”

The words hit all too close to home for Elsa. It almost took her back to her own parents. The only difference was that Ella owed her boss absolutely nothing. The hotel owner basically took advantage of Ella during the entire pandemic, keeping her around to put her to work and make use of her when there was little to do. It was just so she wouldn’t have to do any work for herself. Yet, even as Ella spoke about her, she spoke with such understanding and forgiveness. Elsa struggled for so long to look at her parents in the same manner. She didn’t doubt that they cared…. But the way they reacted to her was wrong. She had felt betrayed by Iduna and certainly broken down by her father. But there had been no chance to work anything out with them. For either side to work anything out or ask for forgiveness. Truth be told Elsa was unsure, if given the opportunity, she would be able to fully forgive either of them. Their words and actions had hurt. Their words were problematic, to say the least. And perhaps being out to them was never...she wouldn’t go so far as to say unsafe as much she would say imperfect. It took Elsa this long to accept who she was; to openly admit to someone other than Anna what her identity was. Her parents certainly played their part in Elsa’s insecurities.

Now here was Ella, though in very much a different position from Elsa when she was her age, going through similar struggles. Except she didn’t have any family members to lean on. She had her mice; but she didn’t have any siblings or parents to go to for support. Yet so much like Elsa, Ella buried herself in her work. She took any job she could get and went straight from that job to her next. Not once had there been any complaining nor attitudes in between. Somehow, even with all the distractions and confusion and pain, Ella looked to the brightest side. She still held onto hope and kindness in the world around her. She had absolutely no obligation to share any of this with Elsa, yet there she was laying it all out in a way she never had before.

“How…. How long have you known?” Elsa finally asked softly.

“About me? A while, I suppose,” Ella confessed. “I...I’m not sure what I am, exactly. It’s...difficult. I’m not in a position, financially or emotionally, to even consider being in a relationship with someone. Nor do I have the time to even consider such a thing. And I’m not sure exactly how much I want to….” She paused, pursing her lips. “...Explore…. I….”

“Am not sure how much you are willing to give?” Elsa finished hesitantly.

“Maybe,” Ella shrugged. “I know I can’t fully figure it out until I do explore. But I don’t have that luxury right now. And it’s confusing but…. But it’s also kind of ok. Because I know what my priorities are. And I know enough that I don’t just like guys. So maybe when this is all over, or when the time is right, everything will work out. Or maybe I just need to get a little stronger first.” She shook her head and offered Elsa a small smile. “But as to knowing about you? About Maren? I think it started when her availability suddenly changed. She went so quickly from sometimes being here at night to being here every night. I know Oaken very much tries to work with our hours, but he usually doesn’t agree to a change that quickly after someone starts. I also noticed Maren spent one of her breaks at customer service with you. You were just standing there talking to her…. You seemed more at ease then. I didn’t notice everything, and I wasn’t trying to spy at all. I just happened to notice that it was the first time you were open to someone spending their break with you. And as time went on, it seemed like her break started to overlap with yours.”

“I know how much you care about us, Elsa. And I know how much you try for us,” Ella continued. “But with Maren...something about it was different. You were…. A little more open, I think. And that’s been something absolutely wonderful to see. With all the time it took you to grow comfortable with us and to let your guard down, you absolutely deserve to have the freedom and comfort to open up to Maren. And I think she knows what a big deal that is as well. Whatever you are; whoever you like; that doesn’t matter here. Not to me. Not to us. Not to Maren.”

Elsa wished she could believe her. Elsa wanted so much to trust that Ella was right; that regardless of how Elsa identified, Maren would like her for the person that she was. That it wouldn’t make a difference to her. But the reality was, if Maren was expecting more...if she would end up wanting something physical...if she wanted so much more than Elsa was willing to give….

It didn’t matter how Elsa felt.

It didn’t matter if there was a chance Maren felt the same way.

If she couldn’t….

If there was someone who knew Maren, who was better suited for her, who could give her….

“You don’t know that,” she sighed in defeat.

“Maybe not,” Ella confessed, “but I think I’m right. And I do hope I’m right. Because I know Snow is when she says the two of you are wonderful together.”

What Elsa wouldn’t have given to believe Ella. To know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she was being completely truthful.

But even if Maren did accept Elsa for her sexuality…. What good would it do if her feelings lied elsewhere?

Then Elsa glanced behind her towards Nani and Snow. Nani stood strong, a hand on her hip with the faintest of smirks. She almost seemed like she wanted to make some sort of comment yet refrained. She’d been teasing both Elsa and Maren that entire time…. And Nani ever teased with ill intentions. She teased to tease. How would it benefit her at all to lie? And Snow was standing there with the biggest smile looking so damn hopeful. She so obviously wanted nothing more than for Elsa and Maren to get together. Whether that had been her grand plan before or not, she absolutely did not go through with it to hurt either of them. She didn’t anticipate it to become this huge thing. And even Snow admitted that she acted based upon her own selfish desires.

Did they really all believe that Maren would reciprocate Elsa’s feelings?

Did they doubt Maren had feelings that lied elsewhere?

Was it watching every interaction between Elsa and Maren?

Or had Maren mentioned something when she told her side?

But at the same time….

What were the odds that all three of them were wrong?

Could….

Could it have really been possible…?

Elsa blinked. She turned back to Ella to see the blonde girl offering her a hand, her warm smile remaining intact.

“I’ll try to be more open if you will. We can do this together,” the shorter woman offered. “I’m with you and I support you.”

Elsa blinked again.

When was the last time anyone said those words to her?

Had anyone said those words to her besides Anna?

She couldn’t even remember anymore.

But hearing them from Ella….

Hearing the sincerity in her voice….

Seeing that smile….

Hearing it despite not having been completely open….

Ella instantly offering it, not knowing about Elsa….

Of course.

It was in Ella’s nature.

She was always there. She always gave people space. She never let herself get involved or forced herself into something. Nearly the entire time Elsa remotely began to feel something for Maren, Ella knew. And not once did she let on. Hell, Ella implied knowing that Elsa wasn’t straight the entire time she’s been at Oaken’s. Not once did she bring it up to anyone. She never once treated nor looked at Elsa differently. She waited to say something until she couldn’t hold it back anymore. Until there was no way around it. Until it was the only way to get through to Elsa.

Heh.

No wonder Anna’s first thought about Elsa’s crush had been Ella.

But then again, any person would absolutely be lucky to have Ella.

Elsa was just one of the few lucky enough to even be able to call Ella her friend.

If Ella could find the courage within herself to be open, especially when she felt so unsafe to do so otherwise, could Elsa also…?

If she was not only brave but also comfortable enough to come out to Elsa, in whatever capacity, did that mean Elsa might also…?

If all three of them were being so accepting, was it also possible that Maren…?

Finally, Elsa pulled one of her hands away from her chest and allowed it to grasp Ella’s hand. For the first time, she found it in herself to speak with a comfort to someone outside of her family. To reveal a part of herself she tried to hide for so long. To finally be open about something she’d once felt so ashamed of. It was a different kind of comfort from speaking to Anna or Kristoff. And it certainly wasn’t something that was done out of obligation. And, unlike with Nani, it wasn’t something Elsa felt nervous to share. It felt like, at long last, she finally had a place. Like she had a right to say it. There was no longer the fear of a worst-case scenario…only hope.

“I’m an asexual lesbian.”

Not once did Ella’s smile falter nor did her expression change. In fact, she seemed to respond with the same conviction as Elsa.

“I’m queer.”

The relief that washed upon Elsa was indescribable. Finally she didn’t just find her place. She found someone who was in the place Elsa was struggling in for so long. And she found someone who, together with, she could finally do the next right thing.

Snow approached the two of them, holding her hands out hopefully to Elsa. The blonde knew exactly where that was going; Snow was silently asking for a hug. And though in most cases, there would continue to be some hesitation on Elsa’s part, for once she didn’t feel the need to close herself off. She opened her free arm to Snow, allowing the teenager to jump inside it and wrap her arms around her pseudo-sister.

So this is what it felt like to have love and support from someone other than Anna.

It was warmer than Elsa thought.

“Aye,” Nani groaned teasingly as she joined them. Keeping a hand on her hip, she ran her free hand through her dark, thick waves. “You all really are a buncha saps.”

“As opposed to?” Ella inquired curiously.

“How do you feel about useless lesbians or gay disasters?” Nani replied.

“Hard pass,” Elsa deadpanned.

“I’m not sure I have the right to those,” Ella added.

“Can I be one even if I don’t know yet?” Snow asked.

To the latter, Nani nudged the teen on the back.

“Buncha lōlō saps, all of you,” Nani pursed her lips.

“Oh!” Snow realized with bright eyes. “Does this mean you and Maren can be together now?”

Elsa tried to prevent her face from falling.

Did it mean she and Maren could be together?

That they even remotely had a chance?

Or would Maren prefer someone familiar?

Someone with history?

Someone who could give her more?

Someone who actually knew her?

Someone like Attina?

“Let them talk first, Snow,” Ella suggested gently. She looked towards Elsa. “Whenever that is, Elsa. We’ll be rooting for both of you.”

That….

That actually felt better.

Not even better in the sarcastic sense. Better as in genuinely better.

It didn’t matter what Elsa’s orientation was. It didn’t matter what her fears were. It didn’t matter what the hell was going on in her head.

Ella had a point.

And she said it so as-a-matter-of-factly.

If anything, they had to talk.

Whether that implied confronting Maren about Attina; Elsa admitting any feelings; or simply just coming out.

It had to be done.

What more did Elsa have to lose anyway?

“Thank you,” Elsa replied with a warm smile. She then looked to the group collectively. “All of you.”

And she absolutely meant it.

Their encouragement.

Their support.

Their warmth.

They gave all that to her.

And it felt so damn good.

“Yeah….” Nani dragged out her response. “You may not wanna thank me just yet.”

Elsa narrowed her gaze.

She already knew she was going to regret asking this.

Especially after feeling so positive about them.

Leave it to Nani to ruin the moment.

“Why…?”

“Just a little bet I have going on.”

“What kind of bet?”

“Nothing I used any names for.”

“Nani.”

“Or labels.”

“Nani.”

“No mention of you or Maren whatsoever.”

“Nani.”

“I’m just trying to win some extra cash.”

“Nani!”

“AYE! All right, all right, fine! But remember, I didn’t use either of your names. He knows nothing.”

“NANI!”

Pause.

“I bet David fifty bucks Maren would confess to you first.”

Another pause.

Elsa blinked. “You bet against me?”

Never mind that the bet was going solely off the mere theory that the feelings were mutual. 

Did Nani really have that little faith in Elsa?

All those damn Snow Queen comments, all this time of working together.

Not to mention Nani was the first damn person outside of her family Elsa even came out to.

She had the nerve to put her money on Maren over Elsa?

Nani shrugged. “Why you think I been giving her so much flack?”

Elsa’s brows furrowed and her gaze narrowed further, if it were possible.

She would absolutely launch a fleet of icicles against her coworker if she could.

“Nani.”

“Aye?”

“What so-called aliases did you use for us?”

Another pause.

Nani folded her arms.

Her eyes darted to the left.

Then to the right.

She pursed her lips.

Her eyes darted again.

She cleared her throat slightly.

“Casanova and Queenie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> #FACEPALM
> 
> Fun fact: i wrote (most of) this chapter before the previous two [originally]. Before Maren's POV and before what became the final version of the chapter with Attina. Obviously the flashbacks came after i did write that interaction not just between Elsa and Attina, but the entirety of Maren's POV in that chapter. And of course, i originally wrote this under the assumption that Elsa would've been the one to run off because that's what she does. Imagine my surprise when i went back to editing this and adding the flashbacks to see it was the other way around! Of course it didn't make sense to include the whole scene with Elsa from Chapter 32. i purposefully used bits and pieces from it to give enough of an idea and, since you guys already saw pretty much that whole story, to tell the whole thing from Elsa's POV would've just been repetitive. [EDIT 12/20 - rewrites to the flashbacks have been made to match rewrites in Chapter 32.] And, unlike the kinda two-parter where we saw the phone conversation from both Elsa and Maren's POVs where they served their own individual purposes, that didn't feel like the case here. As tempting as it was to rewrite Elsa's speech, i also believe Elsa had her own trepidations about reliving that even just to herself because it was so personal and it was so much for her.
> 
> Anyway, i just had this specific idea that of course Snow would be the first one to talk to Elsa, and while that influenced her leaving last chapter to a point, it wasn't completely the reason Maren kinda lost it on her. That specifically came from realizing just how pissed Maren was with herself and she wrongfully (and admittedly so) took it out on Snow. What absolutely influenced The Moment (aka Nani talking to Maren) last chapter was Ella being the one to talk to Elsa. It was always in the back of my mind that Ella would be revealed as queer, though any more specific label was up in the air (even though queer is also a very valid label). And the specific reason for that was...have you guys seen the post on Tumblr, i think it was? About someone saying she went to Disney and saw Aurora and Cinderella and one of them asked if she was there with any princes but the girl said she preferred princesses? And whichever princess asked that looked to the other and admitted, "me too"? i think it was Aurora in the post who said that and was totally crushing on Cinderella, but i just couldn't unsee either of them being queer after that.
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - With Ella talking to Elsa, even though i did end up having Ella speak a little with Maren at the end of last chapter, ultimately her moment was still here with Elsa and i didn't wanna take away from that.] What Elsa needed was to realize that there are people like her and that there's someone, someone she actually knows and is fairly close with, who are or have been in similar positions to her. In the meantime Ella spent so much time in the background because she really doesn't get involved. So this was very much her moment to remind Elsa, "i'm here, i'm your friend, i support you and i understand you". It was her moment to shine the way that last chapter became Nani's moment to show how much more there was to her.
> 
> Can we also take a moment to laugh at Nani's bet and appreciate Snow wanting to be a gay disaster like Elsa and Maren? XD
> 
> So we're continuing to inch towards the end and see where Elsa and Maren go from here. i can't promise no angst or heaviness, but there will be fluff [at some point]. And there's absolutely a plan.... It's just a matter of me actually executing it! As for the followup (the _actual_ followup, not the crackfic), i'm sporadically rereading this story to remind myself what's happened, how certain things are, in addition to editing any grammar mistakes or typos. i want to make sure that when the followup does happen, it's as consistent as possible. Now i know everyone has differentiating opinions on how many Disney characters and how often to incorporate them but i already have one idea and one INSISTENT suggestion for who to add; but are there any particular characters anyone is interested in seeing/being mentioned/working at Oaken's? i don't plan on going overboard; but the same way people have voiced ideas/suggestions/hopes for this story, whether they've been included or not [yet], i do want to give you guys the option and have a voice if or when possible. And i absolutely love hearing the different ideas you all come up with <3
> 
> Next update to come either Monday or Tuesday as usual, depending on my schedule. And brace yourselves...it's gonna be probably another mess XD i'll see you guys then and thank you so much for reading as always!


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You know that feeling when you type something up and you spend like an hour on it and make sure it's exactly what you wanna say and everything and then suddenly Internet just decides to screw you over and basically delete it? Yeah, that's what happened here. i had _everything_ in the author notes, clicked Preview, and my computer decided to log me out instead. So now i remember nothing about what i even said here anymore! -_-; The good news for you guys though, is that you get to just jump right into the story cause i'm sure whatever the hell it was i said couldn't've remotely prepped you for it anyway lol. So...yeah, have fun with this!
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - A number of rewrites have been done to this chapter, particularly in Maren's backstory of her relationship with Attina. i wanted to avoid as much problematic wording as possible that couldn't possibly allude to a specific way the story was being interpreted which is not something i want involved with me or my story because i don't support it at all and it is especially not true of the character. It was difficult writing Maren sharing the story in the first place because it's specifically her side of the story; we're never going to get Attina's version. So anything Maren knows from Attina's end is along the lines of guessing, overthinking, or just plain hurt. And as much as, prior to these edits, i've tried to explain primarily in previous comments the actual story if not idea i was going for but obviously couldn't fully explain in narrative it obviously wasn't enough. Because no matter what, we're never going to get the full story. All that can be done in narrative is thoughts or hints. And i hope that this version does both Maren and her story more justice than the first posting. The end note has been edited to reflect these edits to the best of my ability in minimal spacing. Also, major props to Ravrav for letting me spam them with different versions to potentially post here (though not nearly as many as Chapter 32 and not every section lol) but they knew exactly what i was going for and was so incredibly helpful with finding the right wording and being able to help better see this through Maren's eyes.
> 
> Please note that the censored f word is dropped at one point in Maren's story and that there is definitely homophobia involved. i want to say a lot of it on Attina's part is internalized and taken out on Maren specifically but, again, nothing can be confirmed through Maren's eyes except for her own interpretation of events. So please read with caution as you reach the end of the backstory.]

It felt so weird to be in the store after….

Ok so it wasn’t exactly after closing. They were still on limited hours and customers were long gone.

But still, eleven meant quitting time for the night no matter what. That was when Oaken’s would be opened until under normal circumstances. That was the latest the usual employees would work until.

Except for the stockers who may have brought in deliveries at night, Maren supposed.

Maybe it was because, at that current time, there was no one else in the store. It was eerily quiet. No teasing or booming voice from Nani. No high-pitched squeak from Snow. No softness of Ella. There was still the faintest sound of the store’s usual music playing on loop in the background but other than that it might as well have been a ghost town.

Often, at eleven, everyone would just walk out of the store together. But Maren couldn’t stick around this time. She had to talk to Elsa. She had to get everything off her chest. What happened with Attina...why she acted the way she did...and confess. It was time to finally put everything on the table. She tried some lame comment on Nani; that she’d catch up with her the next night. But the taller woman only replied with a knowing smirk. She knew exactly what Maren was up to. And her response had done little to ease Maren’s nerves.

_“Pucker up, Casanova.”_

Seriously?

It didn’t help that Elsa claimed she had to finish something and would be a few minutes late clocking out; that there was no need to wait for her. Could it have been more obvious that the two of them were going to talk?

Maren thought back to their texts earlier that day. She had been struggling to pay attention to her schoolwork and hearing Ryder scream in the background about his dumb video games was no help. She hadn’t expected Elsa to be the one to initiate; Maren figured she would attempt to speak to her face to face upon clocking in. But how would that even work? Elsa would be so nervous and awkward; she’d barely want to look Maren in the face.

And she certainly didn’t need an ‘I told you so’ from Nani about that.

Granted, the text wasn’t about them. Rather it was a video of Bruni. The cat had been wandering around in a circle, seeming to follow his tail. He looked like he had no idea where it came from, where it was going or even what he was doing. He just wanted to know what that furry thing was and how he could grab it. There hadn’t been a sound from Elsa in the background, thank god, or else Maren would have surely melted. The cat eventually stopped, only to tilt his head all the way back and realize Elsa had been filming him that whole time. His eyes appeared to widen before he fell over in shock. He had gotten back up all right, shaking his head, only to get distracted by his tail again. To that, there had been some trace of Elsa giggling. Maren couldn’t help but like the video and respond to it.

_All hail the king_

There had been a pause before Elsa responded.

_How are you feeling?_

She hadn’t expected Elsa to jump right into it. But she did deserve an explanation. Maren didn’t want anything to be awkward between them, not to the point where they had to actually avoid each other. But for that to work, Maren had to face her fears and actually listen to Nani for once. Woman up.

_Im sorry about last night._

But to just say that sounded so dumb. Maren had tapped her fingers, considering a decent enough follow up.

_Any way we can talk?_

It had been Elsa’s turn to pause. A few minutes passed before she sent back a simple inquiry.

_When?_

When, indeed? Maren had a lot to unpack. She had to explain herself, revisit the whole situation with Attina, not to mention apologize profusely…. Something told her it was going to take more than just her own break. But if they didn’t speak during work…. This wasn’t something that could be discussed over the phone. And whatever inkling of free time Elsa may have had, Maren wasn’t going to take that away from her.

_Theres kinda a lot_

Dots.

_Me, too._

Pause.

More dots.

_After work tonight?_

Maren had been surprised. Not that eleven at night was late but…. Elsa already spent so much time at Oaken’s. Would she really want to stay there after hours just to discuss Maren’s former love life? The one that sucked so miserably? The one that still confused and hurt her? The one that Elsa was being dragged into? The one that left Maren feeling like such a....

No.

Not again.

_You sure?_

Elsa hadn’t responded right away. Maren had been unsure what to think of the silence. Was Elsa not certain? Or had something distracted her?

It turned out she had been sending another clip of her cat. That time, the creature let out a long and loud yawn before attempting to…. Was he trying to lick his eyeball? Damn that was some flexible cat!

Following the ten-second clip was another text from Elsa.

_The king declares it._

And so it had been decided.

Taking in a breath, Maren started on her way towards the break room. Not that any deliveries were expected tonight; by all means they could have probably talked in the actual store. Or even outside by the bench. But, understandably so, Elsa wanted guaranteed privacy. This was a thing the two of them had to handle, not for anyone else to get involved in or spy on. Maren would have been lying if she said she preferred it that way as well. After all, the break room had kind of become their spot. For their shared breaks. For their snacks. For their little exchanges.

Was it wrong for Maren not to want the pandemic to end?

Of course she wanted that damn virus to be over and done with completely.

But the store’s limited hours? The freedom they had after the last customer left? These chances for her and Elsa?

That was what she wanted to stay the same.

Not to mention, those last couple of hours post early closing was their only chance outside of the break room to not wear the damn masks.

With so few of them in the store after eight, no customers to concern themselves with, and a much greater ability to social distance, the requirement for the entire three or four employees to wear masks were unnecessary.

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

Maren halted.

What was…?

_Ah ah oh oh_

The voice!

It…. It was back?

Maren turned down the aisle to look back towards the front of the store, then ahead towards the back. It was faint, but….

Was someone else in the store with them?

Maren waited a moment; just to be sure she wasn’t losing her mind this time.

There was a pause.

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

Her eyes widened.

She was here!

Whoever it was!

It was faint, probably somewhere towards the back but….

This could be her chance to find out! After all that wondering...all that doubt...all this time…. Maren might have only been moments away from finding out who that damn voice belonged to!

So many times Maren questioned if or when she’d hear the voice again. The queries on whom it could possibly have been seemed to halt and, with so much of her focus having fallen on Elsa, there were numerous times Maren no longer gave the voice a second thought. What were the odds that she was hearing it again now? On the night she was supposed to talk to Elsa about her feelings?

What if it was actually _Elsa_?

Maren dashed forward.

What if it was actually Elsa, she thought again?

Now wouldn’t that be something?

Why else would she not hear it for so long and suddenly again on this specific night? For this specific talk? About _them_?

Elsa and the voice were the same person!

They had to be!

She ran towards the double doors and pushed them open; that had to have been where the voice was coming from. Maybe that was where Elsa was hiding that whole time!

“WHOA!”

Maren nearly fell straight forward. She didn’t expect to _actually_ come face to face with Elsa as soon as she reached the back. Her arms flung in a circle and she struggled to keep her balance. Elsa took a leap back, pulling her arms into her chest as she always did. Somehow, Maren managed to flatten her feet; although her back arched straight forward and her arms flew behind her. The brunette blinked, feeling her face heat up.

This could have potentially been so awkward.

Suddenly, she stood up completely. “HI!” she nearly yelled.

Realizing that was unnecessarily loud – and the echo was a bit creepy – Maren cleared her throat. “H...hi.”

“Hi…” Elsa’s response came a bit softer than usual, though definitely awkward.

“Hi,” Maren repeated.

Dammit, she already said that!

“S...sorry, I didn’t mean…. I thought….”

Ok, this was super uncomfortable. What a great way to start. Not!

“I...I just thought I heard something.”

Elsa blinked. “Oh…?” she asked after a pause.

“Yeah….” Maren rubbed the back of her head, wondering if this was going to sound unbelievable at all. Especially if it turned out not to be Elsa.

On the one hand, if it was Elsa, admitting Maren heard her sing so many times and desperately wanted to find her sounded border-line stalker-ish. And, for all Maren knew, it could complicate things further. But on the other hand, if it had been someone else….

The thought disappointed Maren.

If it had been someone else.

She didn’t want it to be.

Unless she’d been imagining it this whole time.

But she wasn’t….

Was she?

“This...this is probably gonna sound a little crazy…” she admitted, “but...uh…. I just...I kinda thought I heard something. Like...someone singing.”

She kept her gaze averted, unable to even look in Elsa’s direction. How much of a nut did she sound like right now?

“S...s…. Singing…?” Elsa nearly stammered. “A...are you sure…? What...what did it sound like…?”

Well at least she wasn’t being dismissive; that was something.

“I...I mean, I can’t emulate it perfectly. It...it was high and light and beautiful….” Maren adjusted her hat, attempting to hide her blush. “It...it sounded like someone repeating something...the, the same line but…. I, I couldn’t even try to sing it if I could. Not...not like that. I, I just thought…. Um…. Was...was there…?”

“A delivery!” Elsa blurted.

Maren’s head shot up to look at Elsa. Her eyes widened and her lips were pulled in, like she had just exposed someone’s secret. Maren’s eyes were probably widened as well. So...it wasn’t…?

Elsa cleared her throat. “Y...yes, there was a delivery. A, a small one so…. So they were just finishing up. Just...something for the morning crew to stock. It...it’s in Receiving...where I happened to be…. S...so...I was there. They were unloading. And...and then they left. So...they, they’re probably pulling out now. It, it’s just us.”

Oh.

Oh….

So it wasn’t Elsa after all, then.

Maren tried not to hide her disappointment. But the truth was, she had hoped it was Elsa. At the first inkling that it could have remotely been the same person...she wanted it to be Elsa. How perfect would that have been? To have been crazy about one person all along? To know that, from the very beginning, Elsa had been with her all along? But the blonde just confirmed it wasn’t. Why would she lie about something like that?

How was Maren supposed to confess her feelings to Elsa now when there was still that voice running around occasionally? That still haunted her?

No, it didn’t alter Maren’s feelings one bit. But….

It would have just been so much easier if they were one in the same.

It was wishful thinking, Maren supposed.

“O...oh…” Maren couldn’t help but comment dejectedly, “I...I was just….”

Elsa sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you….”

“It’s ok,” Maren said quickly. “It’s...it’s not a big deal. I’ll get them next time.” She shook her head. This wasn’t the time to dwell on that damn mysterious voice anyway. She could wallow in that disappointment later. Or perhaps hope for better, if god forbid the talk really did end badly. But she and Elsa both agreed this was the best time to talk. And if Maren backed out now because she was a little disappointed…. It was more important she explained herself to Elsa than mope about some random voice. Elsa was more important. Realizing that, Maren urged a small smile to cross her face. “So…. Break room?”

Pause.

Elsa didn’t say anything; she merely nodded.

Turning around, Maren exited the double doors first. Neither of them said anything on their short tread to their sanctuary. Maren attributed that to nerves on both ends. While she wasn’t sure what Elsa might have wanted to say or what was going through the blonde’s mind, Maren knew she had a bit to get off her chest. She wondered how Elsa was going to react. Would she understand? Would she judge? Would she feel weird? Would it make things weird between them? Would she want to…?

Heh.

Who was Maren kidding?

No way in hell Elsa would actually want to kiss her after that.

It was just wishful thinking.

They took their respective seats at the table. Maren sat with her back facing the door and Elsa across from her. Neither of them brought anything into the room with them; their items were still in the confines of customer service and self scan. It was almost strange to not have anything with them. Their phones or a drink or chocolate…. It was just the two of them. Maren’s hands sat on top of the table, fingers intertwined. It appeared Elsa’s hands were in her lap. There was occasional, albeit brief, eye contact throughout the silence.

How the hell should they even start?

“So….”

“So….”

The two of them spoke at the same time.

Maren cleared her throat. “S...sorry.”

Elsa shook her head. Her gaze moved slightly to the right. “I...I was just going to ask if I may go first.”

It was tempting, Elsa offering to speak her side first. Maren wouldn’t go so far as to say it was bold of her but…. It was definitely out of Elsa’s character. She was the kind of person who seemed to wait everything out. Assess the situation and actually think things through before speaking. Maren wondered what could have changed in this particular instance for Elsa to need to speak first.

Unless it was to just get it off her chest – that she didn’t feel the same. That the kiss should have never happened. And it could never happen again.

Except Maren couldn’t let her do that. Not before explaining herself.

Part of her hoped it would change something. That maybe if Elsa understood the history and what had been going through Maren’s mind in that particular moment….

But what if she was only trying to change Elsa’s mind?

What if she really was misreading everything again?

Look how it turned out with Attina.

God, how selfish could she have gotten?

Maren sighed.

But it didn’t matter. Either way, if she didn’t speak now then Maren would lose her nerve for good. Whether she wanted to stall the inevitable or not was a moot point.

“Actually….” Maren paused. “I’d like to go first…. Please.”

There was another pause.

She couldn’t get a read on Elsa’s reaction. It was…. No, it wasn’t stoic. That was when Elsa was in Snow Queen mode with the customers. It was more like…. She was holding back? Or...confused, on some level?

“Ok.”

Her response was quiet, but it was all the confirmation Maren needed to move forward. The brunette took a deep breath before tightening her grip on her hands.

“I’m sorry. A...about what happened with Attina. That you were dragged into it. It...it wasn’t fair to you and…. I shouldn’t’ve relied on you to bail me out. Or agree to go through that lie for me. I...I should’ve come clean or, or said something or did something and…. And I chickened out.”

“You don’t have to explain yourself, Maren,” Elsa promised. “I...I’m sure if anyone else had run into their ex….”

Maren blinked.

She thought Attina was an ex?

Well….

It wouldn’t be entirely wrong, Maren supposed.

But the way Elsa said it...she made it seem like the two of them had so much history. Like there was some big, epic romance involved that went wrong.

Was it even a romance if Attina never felt that way?

And how the hell did she even get that from Elsa’s typical tone?

Unless it was because she wanted that with Elsa.

“I...I mean…. I guess that’s one word to use….” Maren hesitated.

She noticed Elsa raise an eyebrow. “What do you mean?”

“It’s….” What was a good word to use? Maren thought it was so black and white at first. That it was Attina’s fault. But then it became Maren’s fault. Unless it wasn’t that simple after all. Nani had told Maren prior that, despite the world of retail, people were not always so obvious. Maybe that was why the only word that came to Maren’s mind was the one she originally shared with Nani. “…. Complicated.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” Elsa admitted softly.

“I didn’t at first either,” Maren confessed. “It’s…. It’s kind of a long story.”

“We have time,” Elsa offered.

They did, didn’t they? That was the whole reason they agreed to meet up after clocking out for the night, wasn’t it? Because what they had to say, a half hour couldn’t possibly begin to cover everything. At least, Maren knew she needed more than a half hour. She was unsure why Elsa would need more time as well, just to turn Maren down.

“Are you ok with waiting?” Maren wondered. “I just…. I need to get this off my chest.”

“It’s fine. Whatever you need,” the blonde agreed.

Ok.

Ok then.

Here...here went nothing.

Maren took a breath.

“I wouldn’t say Attina and I grew up together. I mean...when you spend, what, twelve years in school with people I guess you kind of do…? Not that we really knew each other, though. Just that the other existed. But everyone knew Attina existed. She...she basically did everything. She was smart; I think she was one of the top students in the class. She was involved. Anything to do with the school, you name it and she’s probably been in it at least once. Student government, organizing dances, clubs, announcements, yearbooks or newspapers…. She…. She kind of had it all. Looks, brains, a big family, motivation and goals….”

Maren paused. She tugged her lips to the side in thought.

Attina really did have everything back then, didn’t she?

Maren sighed.

“She was everything I wasn’t.”

“You shouldn’t sell yourself short like that, Maren,” Elsa commented.

“But it’s true,” Maren confessed. “I’m not smart. I hated school; my grades were never the best. Not even just with science shit. I didn’t do anything. I never knew what I wanted to do. Sports, clubs, all that crap…. I didn’t know what the hell I wanted. Anything I did was basically tagging along with my friends. I wasn’t like a lot of the other girls, focusing on my looks or even looking good. Hell, I probably couldn’t even afford it if I wanted. I didn’t even have a lot to begin with. Just Ryder. Him and Yelena...they were all I had. I didn’t really care about doing shit; I didn’t care about being involved. I was just…. There.”

“That doesn’t mean you should equate your worth to anyone else. Not everyone knows what they want to do when they’re in school, Maren,” Elsa pointed out.

To that, she couldn’t help but scoff. “It’s been how many years and I still have no fucking clue what I wanna do.”

“Maybe not,” Elsa shrugged, “but...it doesn’t mean you are the same person you were, what, ten years ago? No one is.”

Less than ten, perhaps, but the point still remained.

“We’re conditioned to think at fifteen or sixteen we’re supposed to know exactly what we want to do. I know my parents always assumed exactly what I’d be doing. But that’s not how it works. The kind of family that you have, or the amount of family...that doesn’t mean anything. Maybe it would be nice to have a bigger family; maybe it would be nice to make up for it. The...the lack of something. But bigger does not always mean better. And there is so much more to you than how smart you are or how much motivation you have. You have strength. You work hard. You’re passionate. You’re protective and respectful and caring and….” 

She paused.

“And you are absolutely beautiful, Maren.”

Maren blinked. Her head snapped to look at Elsa fully.

She…. She thought she was beautiful?

But anyone could make a comment like that, she supposed.

It didn’t have to mean anything to get called beautiful by someone.

Just because Elsa, who was basically a goddess, said that to Maren’s face….

Maren hoped the tone of her skin covered the blush on her cheeks.

Then, from the corner of her eyes, she noticed Elsa’s hands sat flat on the table. They weren’t all the way across but…. They could have been within reach. If Maren moved in just a little…. Would she…?

Maren slowly pulled her fingers apart from each other. She laid her hands on the table, semi flat. One of them inched forward. It didn’t reach across the table all the way but...the distance between their hands was lessening. They could have so easily gotten close enough to….

Maren’s hand stopped, leaving a bit of space between them. Her fingers curled in ever so slightly. Maybe if she laid them flat out she could almost….

But that was too much, wasn’t it?

And she wasn’t going to make the same mistake again. She couldn’t.

It didn’t matter how faint the touch was. It had to be Elsa’s to initiate. No matter how much Maren wanted to.

“Thank you…” she said quietly, “...for saying that.”

There was a brief pause.

And then Maren felt something brush against her fingertip.

It was only in passing but….

But it had definitely been Elsa.

She….

Even after everything, she….

She still wanted to reach out.

Maren allowed her hand to sit flat against the surface, her middle finger falling right in front of Elsa’s. There was hardly any space between them at that point. Another tiny movement and their two longest fingers could….

“Are you ok?”

Elsa’s velvet voice nearly snapped Maren out of her trance.

Was she ok?

Was she ok with how close they were getting again?

Was she ok about to open up a can of worms to Elsa?

Was she ok with them?

Was she ok talking about this?

“Just...intimidated, I guess.”

Not that it was a total lie; seeing Attina again had certainly been intimidating enough. It must have been just as much to even talk about her.

“It sounds kinda dumb, doesn’t it? Being intimidated by someone you don’t really even know, and then suddenly you’re thrown into working with them and everything just kind of gets thrown in your face,” Maren continued.

“That doesn’t sound dumb at all,” Elsa shook her head.

Maren scoffed faintly. “Like you even get intimidated.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“You’re the Queen of Retail.”

“And you’re Maren.”

It was the lightest teasing; that brief back and forth they shared. But it brought a smile to Maren’s face. And the more she focused on their hands, the more she could picture them coming into full contact. Her finger slid back and forth between her other two. She almost imagined it on top of Elsa’s, caressing it. Feeling that warmth between them. Actually being...comfortable. As if, even for a moment, nothing had changed. Like nothing had even happened. Like they were back into their old routine again.

Maybe that was why she almost found it easy to continue talking.

“I guess that’s kind of how I felt when we were paired together. It was this big project based on some dumb book we were reading. Create a seemingly perfect utopian society or something.”

She could hear Elsa hold back a giggle. “Utopia does mean perfect.”

Maren rolled her eyes. “Ok, who’s telling the story?”

“Sorry,” she giggled that time.

“Anyway, it was a huge part of our grade. It was like a month-long assignment. So we had to spend a lot of time together. Some stuff we got to do in class. Attina was basically in full control there. She knew exactly what she wanted and how to make it happen. I was just there to follow her orders. Write this, write that. This thing should go here, not there. Make sure I write down everything she did or said, so we’d have copies and be on the same page. She was…intricate and detailed and focused and…. And kinda fearless in what she did. She knew exactly what needed to get done and when something didn’t go right or, or it didn’t work out she dove right back in. She was like that every class. But when we got home to work on it, things were…different. I mean, yeah, she was the same bossy and controlling person she was at school. But…. She was also different.”

Maren’s brows furrowed as she thought back.

“It started when we got into the politics. Government, policies, rules, all that shit. I remember asking her if we were gonna let everyone get married. Heh, she looked at me like I had ten heads. You’d think she never even heard of something like that before. People marrying whoever the hell they wanted. I thought it was the most obvious thing. But between me and my brother, I guess I just always assumed. Anyway, Attina asked why we would do that. I was out then, definitely more compared to Ryder…. It was better people gave me shit for it than him. I don’t know, maybe she didn’t know or was oblivious or something. But I told her I was bi and if I lived there, I’d wanna be able to marry a woman. I don’t even remember what she said; it was some kind of brush-off or something. Like she didn’t believe me or…. I don’t know. But she ended up making this comment, ‘have you even kissed a girl?’ I think she meant to shut me up but, you could probably guess what I told her.”

“You teased her instead,” Elsa realized quietly.

Maren could still remember and mimic her exact response. She squeaked her voice slightly, as if to sound younger somehow, and used a playful tone that was almost identical to the one she used around Elsa. “‘Why? Have you?’” Maren shook her head thinking back to it.

“And you….” Elsa started hesitantly.

“Kissed, yeah,” Maren nodded. “And from there…. I guess that’s where it got complicated. She kept saying it was a one-time thing. That it shouldn’t happen again. But…. I wanted it to happen again. And I guess…. I don’t know. I kept looking for signs that weren’t there. Every time I teased her or pushed her buttons she’d tell me to shut up but…. But I thought she also liked that. Cause she’d get closer and…. And we’d start kissing again.”

Maren thought about how much she liked that. About how much she liked Attina. The way she’d tease Maren back…. The way she’d make little movements towards her…. How close they’d actually end up getting…. Didn’t…. Didn’t that mean Attina liked her, too? Wasn’t that was what it was supposed to mean? But then….

“She’d get so mad when we did anything at her house, though. We’d start kissing but then…. Just out of nowhere she’d pull back and find some reason to yell at me. It was always something dumb or how I was doing something wrong….”

Attina’s voice echoed in the back of Maren’s mind.

_“She made it really difficult not to like her.”_

But it didn’t add up. Why then would Attina always yell at her? Or, sooner or later, push her away? Why would she like her if, sometimes, she acted as though she never wanted to be around her? Why was it always Maren who was doing something wrong? Why was it always Maren who was _wrong_?

How could Attina have claimed to like Maren when she always seemed to be doing something wrong?

Why did, despite the insistence that it only be a one-time thing, that they kept happening?

Why did Attina keep making excuses for them happening? As if there had to be a reason aside from them liking each other?

But if she didn’t, then why…?

Why did she always snap the way she did?

Why could she not even believe Maren when she said she was bi?

Why did they both have to be an experiment?

Maren tried to put the puzzle pieces together as she spoke again.

“But that only happened at her house. The…the yelling or putting me down. When we were at my house…. When there was no one else…. We wouldn’t stop. A lot of times there…she wouldn’t yell at me. She wasn’t…. She’d kiss me first and then we’d just keep going and end up….”

Maren was caught off by a squeak.

At least, it sounded like a squeak.

What even…?

Then she looked up and blinked.

Even though she was only looking at Elsa’s profile, Maren could tell the woman’s face was as red as it could have possibly gotten.

But why would Elsa react that way? Why would she get so stiff and.... Actually nervous?

It wasn’t Maren, was it? Because she had been with a female?

But somehow that didn’t seem right. Then Elsa would have responded in some way when Maren brought up her sexuality. She’d already done that once, albeit briefly. And if Elsa really had an issue with it – with Maren – she wouldn’t have been around her as much as she was, right?

But wait….

This wasn’t the only time Elsa reacted that way.

It was a while back but….

Oh!

Netflix and Chill.

Shit.

Maren winced. “You’re...you’re not comfortable with those topics, are you?”

She wasn’t sure what was worse – the fact that she had forgotten that, or even if it should have been obvious somehow, or that she was about to go into details how she hooked up with someone else in front of her crush.

Ok, they all sounded equally bad but the latter was definitely in the lead.

“It…. It’s just…. I, I don’t…. I…. I’m not…. I haven’t…. I…. I…. I’m….”

It was one thing to see Elsa flustered; that was adorable.

But it was another to see her practically overloading.

Maren couldn’t let her continue like that.

“It’s ok,” she cut her off. “You don’t have to explain anything. Sorry, I…. I probably should’ve known or…. I, I can skip over those parts.”

Elsa’s eyes darted ever so briefly towards Maren and then away again.

Maren’s hand pulled back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable. I...I can also stop if...if you prefer.”

“No!” Elsa gasped. “I...I mean…. You...you said you wanted…. Or, or needed…. S...so….”

“But if it’s going to make you….”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re a tomato.”

“You’re a tomato.”

“Wait, what?”

“Ugh!”

Elsa buried her head in her hands. Maren could practically feel the embarrassment radiating from her. That...was not the reaction she was expecting at all.

But at the same time, it was still so perfectly Elsa. The...not quite blabbing but could have so easily turned into it. The way her eyes widened when she realized what she said and that it was a horrible comeback. The way she just instinctively put up some kind of barrier in front of her.

How could she have ever thought that Elsa of all people would judge her?

God, even when she was embarrassed Elsa was so fricking gorgeous.

Maren couldn’t help but smile at that.

And she also couldn’t let Elsa be awkward on her own.

Pulling her arms in fully, she folded them across the table and laid her head on top of them. She tilted her head so she could face Elsa more easily from that angle. She kept the smile on her face, though it felt a bit more crooked with the way her cheek popped out.

“Hey.”

It got Elsa to move one of her fingers, but only by a hair. Maren could barely see a portion of the blue eyes that she wanted to melt right into.

“One time I was on this field trip. I was so bored I wandered away so I could explore and find something more fun to do. I came face to face with this giant gargoyle. It looked like some sick combination of an ox, lion, and gorilla. And it was reaching out to me with these super long claws and its eyes practically glowed red. I found out it was some special commissioned piece of sculpture for the building and its eyes were some rare gems. That artist put it right in that spot so the light would always reflect on them like they’d be staring into someone’s soul. It scared the fuck outta me. I begged Yelena for like a year to check outside and make sure it didn’t follow me back. But I’ve been terrified of gargoyles ever since. You know those lion statues by the public library? Right off King Street? Can’t even stare at them without flinching and thinking they’re gonna rip my head off.”

Elsa moved her hand some more. At least Maren could see one of her eyes now.

“I know you’re into all that art shit, but just don’t ever show or talk to me about those rock bastards. Not unless you wanna see me puke my brains out. And I promise, I make regular puking look like Picasso. Or...whatever kind of artist that’s actually a sculptor.”

It took another moment, but Elsa slowly set her hands down and sat up straight.

“Why are you telling me that…?”

Maren smirked lightly. “You’re not the only one who gets embarrassed.” She followed suit and sat up. “Besides, Ryder and Yelena are the only other ones who know about that. So…. No blabbing about that to anyone.”

The redness in Elsa’s face certainly lifted, although there appeared to be a faint blush that returned after Maren’s comment. She hoped that meant Elsa was feeling better and at least appreciated Maren’s effort to share one of her most humiliating stories ever. 

Not to mention Maren narrowly avoiding descriptive details about how bad she got when she was sick.

Elsa had just told her she was beautiful and now, after hearing that, she was probably going to think Maren was some sort of demented gremlin.

“Thank you,” Elsa smiled softly.

“We can stop now, if you want,” Maren offered.

“No…. You were in the middle.”

“But if you…”

“I’m fine.”

“Are you sure?”

“I can handle it.”

“Elsa.”

Pause.

“Well…. Maybe if you could….”

“Gloss over those parts?”

Pause.

“...Please?”

“Gladly.”

She definitely dodged a bullet there.

“So…. Yeah, things got serious. Well…I guess I thought it was serious. Because that’s what it means when….” She quickly shook her head. “Anyway…. Nothing changed at school, though. It wasn’t like when we’d be at her house doing homework and she’d go into her attitude over something. It was more like…she didn’t talk about anything at school…. Or to me. That’s how it was after the project. She wouldn’t talk to me at school and I wouldn’t see her for a while…. Then she’d suddenly ask me to study together and…. Well, one night we….”

How to word it without breaking Elsa again?

“We were at her house. We thought we were alone. And…. Turned out we weren’t.”

She saw Elsa’s face fell. But it wasn’t from Maren’s choice of words at all. It seemed as if she knew exactly what Maren was alluding to.

“I…. I wasn’t there for the aftermath or anything. I don’t know any details. I was just told to get the fuck out…. And I did,” Maren explained. “That’s when things changed. She didn’t just not talk to me. She…. She acted like I didn’t exist at all. Every chance she might be near me…. She ran. There were some rumors going around…something about her seeing someone…. It got pinned on me and I started getting flack for it. Like I was trying to turn her into something because _of course_ Attina wasn’t…. Well, that’s what everyone said, anyway. And I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to so bad. But then….”

Maren’s eyes narrowed as she thought back. She tried multiple times to talk to Attina. She wanted to apologize for fucking everything up so bad. She wanted to get things right for once. She wanted to not be wrong. She wanted so bad to make everything up to her because she….

But when she finally had gotten Attina alone; when it was just them; maybe that was all they needed. For no one else to be around. So they could actually talk. They wouldn’t have to worry about getting caught again. And Maren could fix everything.

But when Maren had tried to talk to her, when she tried to tell her how she felt and how much she’d do anything to make things right….

She felt her heart sink as she recalled word for word the daggers Attina shot at her that day.

_“I can’t believe you actually thought I liked you. It was an experiment, Maren. Why would I_ want _to be a fucking f-ggot like you?”_

Maren looked away. She hadn’t thought about that exchange in ages. Ironically enough, it was never the slur that specifically bothered her. No, it did still hurt. It hurt _a lot_. But what was worse?

Being called an experiment.

Like she was just some thing Attina wanted to try.

And all Maren did was mess everything up.

But she couldn’t tell that to Elsa. She wouldn’t understand. Nor would she dare to risk putting that kind of pressure on her.

So instead, she chose the other word. The one that, while a million times worse in usage and meaning, was sadly much easier for anyone to understand.

“There’s this...really bad word. It...I mean, we reclaimed _a lot_ of slurs thrown at us. But this one, it….”

She couldn’t bring herself to say anything about it. No matter what it meant for Maren, it was still something that should have never been thrown at anyone let alone so much as be used in a sentence.

There was a pause.

She didn’t expect Elsa to respond, let alone the way she did.

Her voice was a bit above a whisper, almost sounding as if she carried more pain involving that word than Maren did.

“Is it the f word…?”

Maren’s eyes widened and they snapped to Elsa. “How did you…?”

She sighed in defeat. “I know it, too.”

Whether that meant she knew it existed or it also got thrown at her, Maren was unsure. With the way that Elsa said it, it very well could have been the latter.

Not that Elsa had ever mentioned anything about her sexuality.

Hell, it never even came up in conversation.

But it wasn’t Maren’s place to ask.

Not that she should assume anything, either.

But, whatever the case, Elsa knew exactly what Maren was feeling.

Maren sighed. “Anyway...yeah, I got flack for being bi before but…. That was when it was at its worst. Because that word got around.”

She shook her head. “That’s…that’s why I reacted the way I did when Attina was here. Between the intimidation and…. That…. I had no idea what the hell to do. Even Snow could see I was a mess. Doesn’t mean she was right to get you involved or anything but…. But that’s why that happened. And that’s why I couldn’t say anything. I felt like some rejected kid again. And the things she said before you showed up…. Calling me an experiment….” Maren bit her tongue. No, she wasn’t going to dwell on that. She _couldn’t_ dwell on that. “I guess I didn’t mean the same to her. I was just there for her to….” Experiment with, she finished in her head. Maren held in a breath. “But the way we kept….” She shook her head again. Stop there, stop there, she reminded herself. Maren held in a breath before she redirected the sentence. “She made me think that’s what’d happen when I get close to people. I spend time with them…catch feelings…wanna spend more time with them…and…. That happens.”

She leaned back slightly and looked up at the ceiling, thinking back to the conversation Attina had with Elsa. The things she said. The tone she used. The way she talked about Maren. Wanting to know what she missed out on.

Heh.

What she missed out on.

How many years later and _now_ Attina wanted to know what she missed out on.

After claiming Maren was such a mess and a failed experiment.

“I thought it was her fault for a while. Cause why would she spend all that time with me…do what we did…if she never…” Maren thought aloud, “but I guess it was my fault, too. I knew how to push her buttons. I knew how to get a reaction outta her. I thought I knew what she liked and…. I was stupid enough to think it was actually me. So it couldn’t’ve been anyone else’s fault but mine. I tried to make her like me. She had every right to think I was an experiment to her. She thanked me for letting her get it out of her system but…. But that sounds wrong. Or like...some sorta consolation prize. Or like…. I don’t know.”

“That’s not what you are, Maren,” Elsa said softly.

Maren heard the comment, but it might as well have gone in one ear and out the other. She shook her head. “You know she didn’t even believe me when I said I was bi. Like it was just a word I used so I _could_ experiment.”

She clicked her tongue. Or maybe it had just been Attina’s say of trying to make herself feel better; for using those damn words on Maren in the first place. Like it was just supposed to wipe away the insult. That is, if she even remembered using it. It really had been a half-assed apology, hadn’t it?

Attina didn’t deserve all the time, effort, and energy Maren put into her. Or to even thinking about her.

Attina didn’t give a shit.

But Elsa did.

Every time Elsa apologized, she meant it. True, she apologized far more than any typical human being should. But she always made the effort. She always showed that she cared. She always wanted to try to make things right.

She took a long breath.

It was far too late to go back and remedy anything with Attina. The past was in the past.

But Elsa was in the present. And the future.

Because regardless of what they were, they still worked together. Maren would still be seeing her on a daily basis.

The guilt from Attina would likely continue to eat away at Maren for some time to come; Maren could accept that.

What she couldn’t accept was letting it dictate anything with Elsa. She wasn’t going to make that same mistake again.

Attina had been lust; Maren could live without that.

But the time she spent with Elsa?

The bond she created with her?

The friendship?

The love?

Maren couldn’t lose that.

And, despite the short amount of time, Maren knew that what she had felt for Attina was nothing compared to what she currently felt for Elsa.

Maren exhaled.

This was the hardest part.

The part where Maren knew she fucked up with Elsa specifically.

But she was worth it.

“So...so when you started talking about me…. Like we…like we were actually…. No…no one ever said things about me the way you did. Or, or thought that way about me. I…. I never expected to hear anything like that. I, I mean yeah, there’s Ryder but that’s different. Things…things like that…. Attina never said to me. And I haven’t let myself get close to anyone to, to have a chance to, I guess. But…. Hearing them from you…. From someone I really….” She paused. “Saying those things you did…. Saying how I helped Snow so much…. Making it seem like I did something so amazing…. Acting like _I_ was amazing…. That I actually _meant_ something…. Talking like I made a huge impact in your life and….”

And saying you loved me, Maren wanted to say.

But did Elsa want to hear that again?

Did she want it rubbed in her face?

Maren closed her eyes and took in a sharp breath. She could feel her heart pounding like never before. It probably would have jumped right out of her chest and screamed in Elsa’s face how in love she was with her.

Oh god, please don’t let this ruin everything.

“That was why I kissed you,” she forced out. “It, it was impulsive and I was just so…. But I…I know I shouldn’t have. And I’m sorry I did that. It, it was wrong and, and it came out of nowhere and I didn’t give you a choice and…. And then I ran and gave you even less choice. But I was scared and I know I messed up. I wasn’t thinking and I just…. But that…that doesn’t make it right. And, and if I could go back and do it differently or…. Or take it back….”

_“Or take it back._ _”_

She didn’t want to take it back.

Not entirely.

She would absolutely want to do it differently.

But she couldn’t.

That was in the past; this was the present.

And the only thing she could do in the present was speak the truth.

She forced herself to sit straight again. Maren did everything she could to ignore the palpitating in her chest and the pain it caused. The heart attack she swore she was going to have any second. She felt her body shake. She was nervous as hell. But there was no going back now. This was the moment. It was now or never.

Finally, she opened her eyes. She stared at the woman sitting across from her. She couldn’t imagine what expression Elsa had been holding throughout the second half of the story but now? Her eyes remained wide. Her lips were parted slightly, showing the faintest hint of her teeth. It wasn’t enough to tell if they were clenched or not, if Elsa was trying to avoid dropping her jaw entirely. She sat…. Not quite like a doll waiting for the story of her owner’s to unfold for her. Maybe in a way, that’s what was happening. Maren had involuntarily given herself full control of the situation. She did that when she kissed Elsa. This was her chance to give it back. So no, Elsa wasn’t a doll waiting for her cue. She was a queen. An astonished queen sitting on her throne waiting for one of her most loyal subjects to report to her. Wondering if everything was ok. Wondering how this was going to affect the kingdom. Wondering what it meant for them. Something in Maren’s words was affecting her.

But they could very well be nothing to weight that Maren could finally lift off of her shoulders.

“But I would definitely kiss you again…. If you let me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so. That happened. Maren actually said that. CLIFFHANGER!
> 
> i mean, you guys probably know what's coming with the next chapter then. But you'll find out next week cause that'll be when the next update is. Give you guys a chance to digest everything and me a chance to write absolutely nothing. Yay.
> 
> As i mentioned in the first note, it's difficult to write something when we really only get half the story. With the edits here also came the realization that Maren is still affected by Attina and their relationship and that it's taken a toll on her wanting to get close to people and also deciphering Elsa's feelings towards her. i wanted to show through Maren's POV as best i could that she developed feelings for Attina; they seemed to be reciprocated; Maren fell fast and hard (pattern, anyone?); they got caught which resulted in a complete change in attitude from Attina as well as causing Maren's classmates to give her a difficult time to say the least. Even though in my head, the backstory does involve that Attina was at the very least questioning her own feelings and was in the closet but she took her fear, anger, and internalized homophobia out on Maren, there's no way Maren could know all of that. And, as mentioned in the notes of Chapter 32, it was extremely difficult to write Attina as someone who hurt Maren so bad when the unfortunate truth is that her experience is a very real one. It by no means makes what she said or did to Maren right. And by all accounts, Maren likely made her own mistakes. The difference is that, Attina was able to move on from it seemingly as though nothing happened while Maren continued to feel the aftermath even though she tried so hard to ignore it. And it turns out, Elsa isn't the only one with confidence issues to work out. And while, no, not everything will be nicely wrapped up by the end of the story because confidence, comfort, and self-love don't happen quickly, it means there's more of Maren's character and journey to be seen beyond this. With any luck, if time, energy, desire, and you all allow it. Ultimately, i just hope that this version is able to offer a semi-clearer, if not better-detailed, view of Maren's past. And it was something i tried to write with as much care and caution as possible because the last things i wanted to do with this was to hurt anyone or take a giant step back from the original.
> 
> Maren telling her 'embarrassing' gargoyle story came up kind of as a breather to take away from the awkwardness of her story and the chapter in general, but it was also kind of organic when you take into account how Elsa would of course reacted to hearing Maren was intimate with someone. Or...anyone being intimate, really. Elsa still got some work to do. Anyway. It was just something to kinda ground them a little, and to remind them that they are comfortable enough around each other to share things like that.
> 
> And as much as Maren is very much _the_ idiot, this is one of the few instances where Elsa deserves her own title of idiot. SERIOUSLY ELSA? You were _right there_! Maren was _right there_! You could've told her! You should have told her? But did you? NO! She _wants_ it to be you, dammit! Even though it absolutely was not the right moment to reveal that Elsa was the voice, she still had a perfect opportunity and she blew it.
> 
> So yeah, no time to write this week seriously (PLEASE NO MORE IDEAS FOR CRACKFICS! even though i'm sure some of the comments will give me more ideas anyway but please NOT THIS WEEK! :O), the next update/second half of his awkward conversation will be coming Monday or Tuesday as usual. Until then i will be searching for expired food on my store's shelves, setting them in a pile, and hiding in that pile. Yes, that's a thing i do now. Search for expired foods. It's like candy duty, but longer and more food. It's an actual thing. You will be spared details.... For now.


	36. Chapter 36

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so you guys had some...Thoughts...on the last chapter XD And i'm mentally bracing myself for the Thoughts to come with this chapter since you know what's coming. And it's...probably still a lot. i'll try to keep this note shortish so you can dive right back in. Friendly heads up - there may be a week with no updates. That depends on my schedule. My hours at work are getting totally messed up, even when i'm home i don't have the time/focus/energy to write, i have other things i'm attempting to write including multiple oneshots and a Halloween inspired fic (spoiler it's not going well and definitely won't be done by Halloween), and i haven't fully started outlining stuff for the followup for this not to mention i didn't even start the last chapter yet. But no matter how i slice it, as much as i wanted to try to avoid it, there's probably gonna be a gap of no updates between ending this fic and starting the next one. So just wanted to prepare you guys for that.
> 
> Ok comment time!  
> @holographicbubbles - NO! NO HOOTY VOICE! PLEASE DON'T CONVINCE ANYONE TO REREAD THIS WHOLE STORY IN HOOTY'S VOICE! (Ok unless you read Kristoff's Bruni Voice in Hooty's Voice cause that's what i ben doing. o.0 i am totally regretting ever mentioning anything in Hooty's voice DX  
> @Domika83 - Weeeeeeell i dunno how to tell you this buuuuuuuut.... meremaybesmomthinghammeningamitmaymotbemapermitymemen! (Yes i was totally mumbling that so hopefully you wouldn't catch it. Did it work? XD  
> @LyDIO - Oh trust me, food version of candy duty is.... Something 0.0 And thank you, but i don't think my writing is anything special. Maybe my writing doesn't totally suck like i claim it does, but there's definitely people on here who write way better.  
> @T2Boy2 - Maren definitely said that! :O How did you know about the ending of Chapter [Spoiler]??  
> @Ravrav - Ok dude if that were the case then there'd be a lot more people on here who'd be in WAAAAAAAAY more trouble than me LOL. And you did not just use the Where's The Manager line on me! :O Ok but you sounding broken also sounds a _lot_ like you being pumped up and like you're gonna scream in my face no matter what i do and you're totally gonna scream in my face after this chapter, aren't you? XD  
> @Ann - They're making progress! i mean i'm sure Maren will say or do something to reclaim her Idiot status at some point, but yes she's off the hook for now ;)  
> @RobinPercher - This chapter definitely wasn't as challenging to write as some of the others, but there were definitely moments of struggle here. The biggest challenge of it was probably debating if anything should've gone in another chapter to like prep Maren in some way, help her start to realize anything, or if it made more sense to leave everything here and have her figure it out as she explained. Hopefully the second half of this comes out just as well.  
> @fanficfruitts - Oh crap you're breaking! If that's your reaction to Maren and the last chapter i have no idea what the hell to expect after this one! 0.0  
> @Hugo_renfield - Thank you. i just did the best i could with it and wanted to make it believable and in character like i do with every other chapter. i think the closest Elsa came to 'flipping out' was when Maren started to imply how serious she got with Attina. But they're not outta the woods just yet. (Or maybe they're still lost in the woods? XD) So you'll find out how it works out by the end of this chapter!  
> @Patroclus - Your comment basically says it all! LOL
> 
> When we last left our useless queers, Maren just made a daring proclamation to Elsa after sharing her history. How will Elsa react? Will everything finally be completely out in the open? Will they _ever_ actually kiss? Some will be revealed this week on Essential....
> 
> Please note that the censored f word is dropped a couple of times in this chapter when Elsa thinks back to her father, and the homophobia that comes with it. Elsa also revisits the loss of her parents so heads up for that and the grief as well.

_“But I would definitely kiss you again…. If you let me.”_

If she let her.

How easy it should be.

How easy Elsa wished it _could_ be.

What she wouldn’t have given to respond in the way she wanted to. The _normal_ way.

She could picture it so clearly in her mind. No, her reaction time wouldn’t have been any quicker. She’d still very much be taking her time to process it. She’d be asking herself if she heard Maren right. If it was a dream. She’d replay everything in her mind, thinking back to all of the instances she shared with Maren and attempting to pick up every possible dropped hint that the feelings were indeed reciprocated. Finally, Elsa would find it within herself to stand. In one swift motion she’d move from her chair to the other side of the table. She’d stop in front of Maren, blue eyes meeting possibly confused honey ones. Maybe Elsa would take one final moment to search them, to be sure that it was a reality. Then, she’d reach forward and take Maren’s cheeks in her hands. She’d feel the warmth between them and, unable to hold it back anymore, she’d lean forward and kiss her. She’d kiss Maren like the way couples would in romantic comedies – thanks Anna – at the climax when they finally realized their feelings for each other. No, Elsa wouldn’t dare begin to imagine the actual mechanics of kissing; what would be more than the simple image of pressing her lips to the other woman’s. She’d just know that in any reality except hers, that would be how it would play out. That was how it _should_ play out.

But that wasn’t Elsa’s reality. Never mind the fact that, save for the surprise sort-of kiss to her mask, Elsa never experienced the action. She never experienced the desire or the emotion.

Sure, thinking about kissing Maren was one thing.

But actually doing it was something entirely different.

Elsa felt her heart sink at the realization. She couldn’t respond that way.

Or maybe she was unsure if she could.

Maybe she couldn’t respond because of her lack of experience. No, that didn’t make up for everything. It lessened the regret, albeit barely.

But simply not knowing….

Could she picture herself kissing?

That was a crock; she literally _just_ imagined herself kissing.

But to follow through with it….

How would she feel?

How would her body react?

Would she relax into it or recoil?

Would it be enjoyable?

Or would she be let down because it wasn’t as amazing as everyone claimed it should be?

What if she hated it?

Or worse…what if it somehow wasn’t the kiss and it was one of them?

What if it was Maren?

What if it was Elsa?

What if it was all wrong for her?

What if she couldn’t even respond with that action? It was already so difficult for her to reach out, be it with a hug or handholding. How much more energy would it take to kiss? How much energy would she _want_ to put into kissing?

What if she really was broken?

_“I’m sure it’s just a phase.”_

_“Let’s not give your father a reason to worry.”_

_“You can always talk to Gale.”_

_“That is_ not _who you are, Elsa!”_

_“Get that filthy scum out of your head!”_

Her parents’ words began to ring in her head again.

She tried to tell her mother…. She tried to explain all of who she was….

Iduna’s face had been soft. She seemed to mean well, but….

Then why did she push Elsa back in the closet?

So she tried to explain it simply to her father, leave out half of her identity.

But that was even worse.

No…it was worse and it was better.

It was worse because of his reaction; it was better because including the other side of her could have implied a false hope on his part somehow. He could have been as pissed off as he wanted but if Elsa admitted to being unsure if she could act on her attraction, it would delude him into thinking that somehow boys were not entirely off the table.

It was better because it was one less thing Elsa would have to explain; it was worse because she was still rejecting a part of her. It had taken this long for Anna to remotely understand her feelings, so how much more difficult would it have been back then when Elsa did not fully have the vocabulary nor the knowledge to describe it for herself? But regardless of the words, the explanation, or even the thoughts, as much as she wanted to she could not erase part of who she was.

But it didn’t matter, did it?

Whether she used one label, neither, or both there would still be rejection.

There would still be brokenness.

That’s what she was, wasn’t it?

Broken.

So broken now that she couldn’t even answer Maren.

How could she want something so much and not want it at the same time?

Did that even make sense?

Or was it just that she was afraid?

But she liked Maren…. She _really_ liked Maren. What the hell was there to be afraid of?

_“_ _Elsa…. You know that just because you don’t really want m &m’s…it doesn’t change how much you like this one…. Right?”_

Elsa’s brows furrowed.

Anna…?

Where did…?

Oh….

She was still there.

Even in Elsa’s darkest thoughts, Anna still found her way to shine through.

Their last conversation finally brought the two of them to an understanding. Allowed Anna to understand Elsa better. She finally _got_ it.

And then Nani…Snow…Ella….

_“Whatever you are; whoever you like; that doesn’t matter here. Not to me. Not to us. Not to Maren.”_

Ella truly believed in what she said. She wouldn’t have said that; wouldn’t have brought it up; wouldn’t have come out herself if she had any doubts.

Elsa placed a hand over her heart. She tightened her grip over it, as if she were trying to grab her organ and squeeze the pain out of it. It didn’t help that she could feel Maren’s honey-coated gaze on her. But Elsa couldn’t dare lift her head to meet it. She didn’t want to know what kind of reaction Maren was holding in anticipation. If it was confusion or fear or impatience….

Elsa didn’t want to believe Maren would think differently of her. She didn’t want to disregard the faith her friends put so deeply into the woman. They were so certain…. Even Anna was hopeful.

The doubt was still very much there. It was almost overwhelming. The way it came and went…how could she be so fine and accepting some days but others, all it took was a single sentence or action to completely turn everything around? How could the doubt consume Elsa so rapidly? How was it possible to drown so easily in such negativity?

“It’s not…. I’m not….”

Elsa’s words came out near inaudibly. They might as well have barely been a whisper. She clenched her jaw, realizing fully now that there was no going back. It was one thing to admit that she had to speak to Maren on some level. But now that the moment arrived…now that Maren had shared her side…now that the ball was in Elsa’s court…there was no escaping.

She wanted this.

She wanted Maren.

She wanted Maren to know that.

She wanted so much to be able to prove that.

To be able to react on it.

To stop thinking and just do.

Come on, body, move!

Yet it remained stiff in the chair.

She couldn’t do it.

Elsa sighed. She kept her gaze downward, profile facing Maren. Her hand remained clenched over her heart and she could feel the discomfort returning with full force. Her brows tilted and her eyelids drooped, half covering her eyes. She couldn’t bear to look at Maren’s confused stare. She didn’t want to see the hurt or, worse, the anger that would soon follow.

“I’m an asexual lesbian.”

It didn’t come out much louder than her previous stutters. She was unsure if Maren even heard her that time. But this much was certain; it sounded absolutely nothing like her previous convictions.

The realization of saying it out loud to Nani.

The comfort of saying it around Kristoff.

The relief and support of saying it to Ella.

No, this was the exact opposite.

It wasn’t said with remotely any positivity.

If anything, it was said in defeat.

There was a pause.

“Why do you say it that way?”

Maren’s voice wasn’t quite as low as Elsa’s had been, but it was certainly soft. Elsa could not pick up a single hint of judgment in it. If only that could be enough. But Elsa didn’t dare respond.

“Elsa…?”

The blonde closed her eyes. She thought she heard the faintest gasp escape Maren. She was finally putting the pieces together, wasn’t she?

“Elsa, you don’t really think…”

But she wasn’t going to give her a chance to finish that question. Though Elsa’s voice still came out barely audible, there was hoarseness to it that didn’t exist before.

“I…. I can’t….”

Pause.

“I wan….”

She wanted terribly to say, ‘I want to.’

‘I want _you_.’

But she couldn’t.

“But I can’t….”

There was a pause.

“Elsa I’m so sorry.”

Here it comes, she thought. Elsa braced herself for Maren to take back her declaration. To say she couldn’t be with someone like Elsa. To admit that she wanted more. To completely wipe away the friendship they created.

“If I’d known I would’ve been a hell of a lot more respectful.”

Elsa’s brows softened, albeit slightly. More…. Respectful?

It…. It didn’t sound right somehow. For multiple reasons.

By all accounts, Maren had been respectful. She’d been respectful with Elsa’s personal space. Her boundaries. Not once had Elsa felt obligated or uncomfortable reaching out to Maren. Perhaps in certain regards, yes, Maren took the lead as far as their conversations went. But when it came to physicality? Even something as simple as reaching across the table? Making sure that so much as their fingernails didn’t touch without Elsa’s consent? Maren had been nothing but respectful as far as Elsa was concerned.

But at the same time….

When had Elsa’s sexuality been respected?

When her mother insisted it was just a phase?

When she was told not to worry about it?

Was it when she had to talk to no one but her cat about it?

Was it when she had to compare herself to her peers? Watch them have ‘normal’ teenage lives while Elsa felt so inadequate? Like she didn’t belong?

Was it when she was brushed off by her father?

Was it when he put her down?

Called her horrible names?

Was it when she had to bury her sexuality alongside her parents?

Was it when she struggled to tell Anna, the one person she could have been able to tell any and everything and yet it still wasn’t enough? _She_ wasn’t enough?

“I’m sorry if I ever said or did anything to make you uncomfortable,” Maren continued, “and I promise I’ll be better. You never have to be anything less than yourself around me. I don’t care about your label, Elsa. I care about you.”

She could hear the sleeve of Maren’s sweat jacket sliding across the table. Elsa didn’t need to open her eyes to see that Maren was trying to reach out to her again. She was unsure how far across her hand had made it, but she knew Maren was trying. And as much as Elsa wanted to say – wanted to _believe_ – that it meant so much more than anything else, she wasn’t sure it was enough.

Elsa wrapped her arms around herself. “I can’t change myself, Maren,” she whispered. It was stated with as much defeat as her coming out. Elsa wished she could change that about herself. She wished she could just be…. Normal. But she couldn’t. She wasn’t. And if she hadn’t realized it before, it was painfully obvious now. She couldn’t even confess her feelings to Maren the right way.

“I’m not asking you to. I would never,” Maren promised.

“But you do,” Elsa corrected quietly. “You have to change. And that…. That’s not fair to you.”

“I’m not changing anything, Elsa,” Maren replied.

Bs; Elsa was calling it.

Not in the irritated or furious way, rather in the hurt one.

Because she knew Maren was lying for Elsa’s sake.

“But Attina….”

Maren admitted to being intimate with her. There was no way in hell that was the only person. Hadn’t Maren also admitted to exploring in her travels? Learning who and what she liked? She wouldn’t have figured that out without experience. It was something Maren enjoyed. Something she wanted. Something Elsa couldn’t give to her.

Another pause.

“That’s not what makes a relationship, Elsa,” Maren said softly.

“But it’s important to you, isn’t it,” she stated. “I…I can’t do that for you, Maren. I’m not enough….”

There. She said it.

But Maren wasn’t having any of it. The next thing she knew, Elsa heard the chair sliding across the tiled floor. Footsteps indicated that Maren was moving. Elsa wasn’t entirely sure where the brunette was going at first until she heard her voice on top of her.

No, not directly on top of her.

Next to her, Elsa surmised.

Close enough for Elsa to realize that Maren had come to her but not close enough to feel her breath against her body.

“Elsa, you do _everything_ for us. You make sure we’re covered. You come over as soon as there’s a problem. Your first thought is always, are you ok? You never stop to think about yourself. The things you do, the ways a customer reacts to you, they don’t matter because you’re always so focused on _us_. You protect us. You watch out for us. You care so much about us and this place that you put yourself down at the smallest things. But you don’t have to do that, Elsa. You are just as important. You care. You care more than anyone I ever met. You try. You work hard. You go above and beyond. You offer to buy us chocolate. Hell, you give us chocolate as an apology gift. You showed me videos of your cat. I know how hard that was for you and what he means to you. But you still showed me, you still let me in. You fucking _drew_ me, Elsa. You spend god knows how much time on that. But you did it. For me. You _are_ enough.”

Elsa’s grip tightened around herself. The way Maren spoke…the passion and the conviction…. She was thinking about every time, wasn’t she? Every time Elsa had to involve herself? Every instance…every horror story…every customer…. Elsa was there. The waters. The rain checks. The Weasel. The bitch. And that was only to name a few. The way Maren described it…it was almost as if Elsa was so emotionally invested. She was invested in the store. She was invested in the people. She was invested in Maren. Had she really put that much of her heart into it all? Without even realizing it? Was that something that really mattered so much?

Oh, of course it mattered with Bruni. He was her fur baby – dammit, Ella. Whether she was taking care of him or talking about him, Elsa always put her heart into that cat. He was one of the few things in her life that meant everything to her. It took so much for Elsa to willingly let Maren into that….

Into her own heart.

The drawing.

She’d spent hours on it. Elsa stayed up all night working on that drawing. Trying to get the proportions just right. Granted, the eyes were perhaps a bit bigger than they should have been and, to Elsa’s recollection, there had been a few minor details that came across as more animated than accurate. But she still worked so hard to capture Maren. The colors. The tight braids. The smirk. The splashes of honey in her eyes. Elsa worked on it well into the morning and, even after an extra cup of coffee, she went back to it and made adjustments. She never let on how tired she was that day because of the time and effort she put into that. She wouldn’t have done all that if she didn’t care about Maren the way she did. If she didn’t have those feelings about her.

Was…. Was that really enough? Could something so insignificant have really replaced something so…intimate?

Then Maren spoke again. Her tone lightened but she spoke with just as much feeling as before. And it was one of the last things Elsa expected to hear.

“You are _more_ than enough, Angel.”

Her lids softened and from underneath her eyes became itchy.

It wasn’t just that she was being told she was more than enough. After all that time thinking otherwise. After believing it to be true.

It was that name.

How long had it been since Maren said it to her?

The first text was one thing; it had only been so Elsa recognized the number.

But to hear it again from Maren….

She’d caught herself when she said it over the phone previously. But prior to that the last time had been….

As quickly as Elsa’s face relaxed, it fell.

The last time had been that day. The day when she felt like anything but an angel. After all, her parents would still be around if it weren’t for her. If she didn’t pick that specific morning to….

She was no angel.

“I wasn’t for them.”

Her voice choked out, as if she would explode if she continued. She thought back to that day. How she stepped into her father’s office as he gathered his things. He said they’d be back late, followed by another comment Elsa couldn’t quite recall. She had to tell him something…. He insisted it could wait…. Elsa persisted…. There was some back and forth…. But as soon as the words 'I’m gay' left her mouth it was all over. She’d never seen her father so furious. So hurt. As if, despite how hard she worked and everything she did, it was the ultimate disappointment. She recalled the words 'fucking f-ggot' leave his mouth before an elongated pause. He had barely been able to look at her as he stated he was going to be late.

It was the last conversation she had with him.

It was the final impression her father had of her.

The call came a few hours later.

And from there, everything fell apart.

How could she be an angel when she caused her parents’ demise?

When her own parent claimed she was nothing more than…. That?

His words repeated in her head again.

The look he had given her flashed before her eyes.

The slam of the door as he left.

The phone ringing.

Something happened.

There was a crash.

Her parents didn’t make it.

Someone in the other car….

Barely a few hours after….

If Elsa didn’t pick that morning….

If only she had never let those words leave her lips….

_“I’m gay.”_

_“Get that filthy scum out of your head!”_

_“We are not to speak of this again!”_

_“I’m….”_

_“NO!”_

_“Never bring that up again!”_

_“I’m….”_

_“Don’t you dare!”_

_“…Gay….”_

_“Fucking f-ggot!”_

“Elsa….”

Elsa didn’t realize she’d been shaking until she heard Maren’s buttery voice. Her eyelids barely crept open. Everything was so blurry. She was only able to make out the table beneath her and something on top of it. Something round…a bit tan…no, a darker shade…ugh, why were colors so much more difficult to depict when she was upset?

Elsa had no idea how she managed to remove one of her arms from around her. It was just enough to briefly inspect the object…. But as soon as she made the faintest contact with it, she flinched and pulled her hand back.

It was Maren’s hand.

Specifically, her fist.

She was reaching out yet fighting back simultaneously.

Her hand was right there within Elsa’s grasp. Hell, she’d almost managed to take it.

But she didn’t have it flat down; it was clenched. How…how much was she holding back right now? Was…was it possible she was feeling what Elsa was feeling?

“I’m here, Elsa. You can tell me as much or as little as you want. I’m here.”

She was still here, wasn’t she? Just like she said she’d be. Maren had every opportunity to run. Hell, she had run before. But this time she stayed. The first time she saw Elsa at her most vulnerable she couldn’t handle it. She was afraid she would do something and she ran. Then she kissed Elsa, something she knew Elsa would react with fear and uncertainty to, and she ran again. Maren had gotten scared and ran. She was still scared now. Her fist was shaking; she was scared because of what this was doing to Elsa. Yet, despite that, her voice sounded so grounded. She was trying to be strong for Elsa. She held back, waiting for Elsa to come to her. To run to her. Just like she said she could.

Elsa’s body was still shaking. She felt her chest heaving and her breathing become heavier. Yet through that her hand moved. It barely brushed against the tip of Maren’s hand. Was it clammy…? No, how could the back of her hand be wet? Unless….

Unless Elsa had been crying and not realized?

Oh, god what a mess she was being right now.

She did not anticipate this to be so difficult.

But Maren didn’t waver. She remained exactly where she was. No wonder she was shaking. No wonder her hand was the way it was. She wanted so desperately to comfort Elsa. But how could she when she had no idea how? When she was actually listening to Elsa? Not even just respecting her boundaries? But understanding why they may have existed in the first place? It had only been a few minutes since Elsa came out to her and already Maren was trying to make good on her promise. She wasn’t going to do _anything_ without Elsa’s consent first. She wanted Elsa to be as comfortable as possible around her, even if it meant Maren had to wait. No matter how much she wanted to react.

No matter how much she hated concealing.

No matter how much she _shouldn’t_ conceal.

But she was trying…all for Elsa.

Letting out a breath of desperation, Elsa let her hand fall onto the table beside Maren’s. She leaned forward, propping her other elbow onto the table and spreading her hand across her face. She felt Maren’s hand against her fallen one, but there was no immediate reaction.

Help, she thought, please….

There was a lull.

Then, seeming to answer her unspoken prayer, Maren’s finger gently rubbed the side of Elsa’s hand. It didn’t do anything but move up and down slightly…. But god was it so warm! Elsa’s hand tilted and she felt Maren’s fingers snake loosely around hers. The next thing Elsa realized, she squeezed it. And Maren squeezed back.

No, she didn’t just squeeze back.

She cupped her other hand around Elsa’s. Her pale hand was sandwiched perfectly between Maren’s. She felt less of a need to tremble now, as if Maren’s actions were grounding her somehow. No, her mere presence was. Elsa bit her bottom lip, desperately trying to control herself before things got worse. What were those things Anna was always telling to do when she got anxious…?

Touch. Sounds. Sight.

Maybe not so much the sight with her eyes still covered.

Focus, she thought desperately, focus….

It didn’t matter what order she went in, she just had to focus. She just had to try.

So she tried focusing on the touch of Maren’s hands. How both of them squeezed Elsa’s. How it almost felt like they were protecting her. How warm her hand felt between hers. How strong they were. Maren was there. Keeping her grounded. She was safe.

She felt one of Maren’s fingers move across hers, lightly caressing it. The faintest swishing sound accompanied it, but it was there. Maren was there. Holding Elsa. Supporting Elsa. Listening to Elsa’s huffed breathing and muffled sobs. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t push or pry. She was just there. Waiting.

In the break room where they were sitting. At the typically messy table. Where Elsa’s and Maren’s hands were. Holding on tight to each other as if they wouldn’t let go. And even though Elsa never saw Maren move for herself, she had heard her before. She knew Maren was next to her, whether standing or sitting. She could picture the brunette by her side. Slightly tilted company hat. Long, thick braid against her back. Dark sweat jacket. Bangs falling just short of her eyes. Her beautiful, honey-sprinkled eyes.

She remained like that for a few minutes until her breathing became more controlled. Until she was fully pulled out of all of her thoughts and realizing she was actually in the break room with Maren.

The silence continued until Elsa willed herself to speak.

“It was my fault,” she finally whispered. “They died because of me.”

Pause.

“What happened?”

Huh.

What happened?

That was a first.

So many times Elsa had automatically been met with ‘it wasn’t your fault’. Her guilt had quickly been brushed off, as if her feelings about the day were completely invalid.

What happened?

It was such a simple question.

Then again, hadn’t Elsa asked Maren something similar not too long ago?

Maren was completely open in her past with Attina.

Elsa owed her the same.

They both needed to know what they were getting into.

And maybe, just maybe, it would do Elsa some good to talk about it.

At least, to someone who wasn’t Kristoff or her cat.

Elsa’s hand slowly slid down her face. It curled into a ball just at her chin, save for her thumb that stuck up. Elsa resisted the urge to bite on the nail.

“I told my father…” she confessed hoarsely. “He and my mother left for a meeting and…a few hours later there…. We…we got a call….” She let out a breath, taking a moment to control herself. She felt Maren squeeze her hand again.

Fight it, Elsa reminded herself, don’t run….

“There was an accident,” she exhaled deeply. “They…. They didn’t….” She closed her eyes and breathed in. “The other family sued, it was messy.”

It was so much easier to get the last sentence out in one breath. Elsa didn’t want to go into deeper details. She couldn’t. Reliving the case again…. It wasn’t something she ever wanted to do. It was just a painful reminder. But there was one particular part she always glossed over. The one thing that made Kristoff swear up and down Elsa had no control over. Something else could have brought it on, he said. But in Elsa’s mind, there was only one logical explanation. Maybe anything could happen on the road; maybe it could have been nothing more than horrible timing. But by all accounts it was a regular day. It was a routine business meeting. The only thing that had been different was Elsa.

She heard a light breath escape Maren, as if she were about to say or ask something. But before she could, Elsa let two simple words escape her, cutting the brunette off.

“An aneurysm.”

Pause.

“What…?”

“The…the cause. For the crash…. That’s what it was.”

Another silence followed.

Elsa attempted to focus on the feel of Maren’s hands. If she thought about that…maybe the scenes wouldn’t flash behind her lids again. She wouldn’t find herself thinking about that day. She wouldn’t think about how disappointing her father caused so much grief and pain to make….

No, maybe it didn’t make total sense. Maybe there wasn’t a connection.

But what were the odds that if she hadn’t…. Then they wouldn’t have….

“I used to blame myself, too.”

Elsa blinked. Her brows furrowed, but she didn’t turn her head to look at Maren.

“For my mom,” the shorter clarified. “Sometimes I wonder if I didn’t do enough. Maybe if I did something different or I was different she wouldn’t have left us. I went back and forth between blaming myself and being pissed at her sometimes. But what she did to herself…. That was her choice. This wasn’t.”

Pause.

“This proves how much you care, Elsa. It doesn’t matter what your dad may have been thinking or feeling that day, or if there was any connection. You’d do anything to take the blame of that crash off your parents, even if it was just horrible timing. You care so much that you’re willing to take all that off of them and live with it for the rest of your life. That doesn’t make it right, but…. But you have the biggest heart out of anyone I know. You put yourself on the frontlines to protect everyone else. You did it then and you do it now. And if that’s not an angel, I don’t know what the fuck it is.”

How the hell did she do that? Just… somehow manage to turn it all around? For so many years Elsa looked back on that day with guilt. She let it eat at her. She let it consume her. She let it control her. She let it affect how she saw herself. Hell, she let it control her own identity. As if her being her was somehow an insult. That, in a way, it was her parents’ ghosts continuing to haunt her. Reminding her of what a let down she had been. Of being such a disappointment. Yet, even when she told the story in the simplest of terms to Maren, she found a way to put Elsa on a pedestal. She didn’t once imply Elsa was wrong for what she was feeling or try to correct her. Instead she pointed out a seemingly plausible explanation as to why Elsa was that way. As much as Elsa thought she had been a monster for playing a part in the downfall of her parents, thinking that she was even a monster to them, Maren pointed out that there was so much more to it than that. Despite everything, Elsa still loved her parents. She was trying to protect them. As if putting the blame on herself would make them forgive her somehow.

Anna’s words rang in Elsa’s mind once again. That she was her guardian angel. How much she had done since losing their parents. But it wasn’t just out of love or protection for Anna. It was out of love for her parents. Because maybe, so much like Anna who wanted to see the good in them, Elsa hoped that deep down if she did everything and more maybe they’d forgive her. That maybe there could have been a chance to repair their relationship. Or that this was her way of trying to fix it.

It was a long shot and perhaps more wishful thinking than anything else. But for the first time in forever, Elsa had been able to look back and feel something other than regret. Maren gave that to her. Because, for that brief moment in time, Elsa was able to see herself through the eyes of someone else. Her past, her sexuality, her baggage…none of that mattered. The only thing that mattered was her heart.

It was the sweetest thing she could recall anyone doing for her in a long time.

“Hey….”

Had Maren’s voice always been that warm? That inviting? That intoxicating?

Elsa managed to turn her head towards her, vision returning to normal.

“Thank you for telling me all that. It means a lot, you trusting me with it all. I can’t promise I’ll be perfect. But I am gonna try to be better. Because I wanna keep getting to know all of you. Elsa the artsy retail asexual lesbian chocoholic queen.”

For the first time that night, Elsa allowed the smallest smile to grace her lips. The way Maren said it…the way her eyes lit up…the slightly cocked and hopeful smile…the warm tone that matched her name so perfectly…. They just sounded like little pieces of her. The pieces that made her Elsa. The pieces that Maren…. That Maren liked.

Or rather, the pieces of Elsa that Maren knew she liked.

Because Maren liked her.

Elsa finally allowed it to sink in.

Maren liked her.

Absolutely nothing changed.

She liked Elsa exactly for who she was.

Even if…?

“And if you decide you want someone….”

Someone else, she wanted to say.

But somehow that didn’t sound right.

Elsa’s brows furrowed in thought.

“Something more…?” she corrected.

Maren lightly shrugged her shoulders. “I can find other ways to please myself, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Elsa’s cheeks brightened.

The brunette let out a light chuckle at her reaction. “But that’s also what compromise is for. So…. I’m willing to follow your lead. If you’ll give me the chance.”

Elsa averted her gaze slightly. “Have you always sounded this professional?” she couldn’t help but inquire almost shyly.

She could have sworn she saw Maren smirk from the corner of her eye. “I learned from the best.”

Elsa pulled in her lips. She glanced down briefly to their hands, which were still intertwined. However, unlike the previous cases, Elsa didn’t remove her hand from Maren’s. Maybe it was the moment or the newfound comfort, but she didn’t feel the need to jerk her hand away. Perhaps the feeling would return in a few seconds or a few minutes, or maybe it would occur much quicker the next time. But for now, Elsa actually felt at ease.

“Thank you,” she said softly, “for telling me as well. And for being here.”

Pause.

This was going to be so typically Elsa; she just knew it.

“Hey…. Are you ok?”

A scoff escaped Maren. She must have seen it coming as well. “I think so. Are you?”

“Maybe,” the blonde pursed her lips. She couldn’t answer it at that moment with full confidence. She felt better than she had before, but that didn’t always mean anything. Still, she was a work in progress. And it seemed like something Maren was willing to accept. “But I will be.”

She paused again.

Actually…there was something she wanted to do now.

Not even just for her own benefit.

“Would it…. That is…. Could…. Is it ok….”

Oh, what was the right way to word it?

Elsa exhaled, not bothering to fight the blush she was sure covering her cheeks this time.

“May I please draw you another picture?”

The portrait of Maren had been the first piece of art Elsa made in a while. And even though she was more accustomed to 3D models in the form of sculpting, she could never argue with the spur of inspiration that came from sketching. Nor could she ignore the energy or heart she put into the first drawing of Maren. It had been the first real recognition of her feelings. She wanted to experience that again. And this time, she wanted to do it with full knowledge and acceptance of them. And have Maren know exactly what it meant. Though she was unsure if it would have quite the same effect as verbally admitting to Maren’s face that she liked her, she hoped the sentiment was just as real.

Maren’s smile seemed to grow at the thought. “I’d be honored.”

It was Maren’s turn to pause one final time.

“I…I have something for you, too….” She delicately lifted their held hands off the table. “May I…?”

Elsa gave a nod. She watched as Maren slowly brought their hands closer to her. They seemed to be chest level at first but there was a steady rise, almost bringing them to eye level. No…not eye level. Lower than that. Elsa kept a curious stare, not entirely sure what to expect. But she watched Maren’s movements closely. With every inch that decreased between Maren and their hands, the brunette looked to Elsa. She took every chance to seek confirmation, or perhaps see if Elsa changed her mind. There was hesitancy in her final movements, bringing their hands dangerously close to Maren’s face. Elsa blinked, feeling a blush rise to her cheeks again. Maren paused, waiting before making any other movements. She was giving Elsa the chance to pull back, if she so desired.

Except she didn’t.

Elsa didn’t want to pull back.

Whether it was curiosity or yet another brief newfound confidence, she let Maren complete the gesture. And Elsa couldn’t have been more relieved at the sensation that followed.

Because when Maren gently pressed her lips against Elsa’s fingers, it was one of the most affirming and tender things Elsa could have only dreamed of experiencing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok i don't know if you guys count the hand kiss as an actual kiss but i am since there's no damn mask in between, there was no sudden or awkward movements, and it's still a pretty big deal because ELSA LET MAREN DO IT. She basically let Maren kiss her. So going based off of that, haha you guys get the no-mask kiss a whole chapter early! XD And if you don't count it as an actual kiss.... Then i have absolutely no idea what to say right now.
> 
> So there's a bit to unpack here. Writing this was definitely different emotionally compared to the previous chapter. It was easy for me to figure out how to start this chapter. Because Elsa believes so much that her aceness is a hinderance and that it prevents her from acting the 'right' or 'normal' way, especially when this is all so new to her. Especially when it's even those most basic physical affections that we see all the damn time. Society makes it seem like it's this huge thing and we should _want_ those things but the truth is, for aspecs in general, we respond to it so differently. Because we don't necessarily always think or feel about it in that way. It's one thing to think about those things, but to actually act on them and not be able to or feel weird about it, there really is a feeling of brokenness with it. Even though there's nothing wrong with it. But for Elsa it's so much more than all of that. Because she also connects the negatives of her sexuality to her parents' rejections.
> 
> Similarly to how all aspecs response to their aceness (or aroness) or intimacy and romance in general, everyone responds to grief differently. There's no right way to handle talking about it or making someone feel better. But i think a major aspect in Maren's reaction to Elsa saying anything about her parents, particularly in blaming herself, is that her feelings are completely valid. It doesn't matter if she's right or wrong; she's absolutely entitled to the way she feels. So instead of trying to convince her otherwise like everyone else has, Maren just wanted to help Elsa look at it differently. And, in short, kind of tell her that if this is really how she's feeling maybe this is a reason why. That doesn't mean it's right for everyone; but i think for Elsa it was a combination of her understanding where Maren was coming from and also feeling relieved that she didn't hear "it's not your fault" again because sometimes denial just makes it worse. Or makes the person feel worse.
> 
> There was very much the intention of at least implying Elsa was having a panic attack at one point here. Having her being taken away from reality, having those little flashes of the past, her shaking, having her need to bring herself back with the senses.... Her anxiety is the one thing she did not verbally address with Maren, and while that's not necessarily the final piece it is one more thing they should have a conversation about. Especially because Elsa does believe there's so much 'wrong' with her or, maybe a better wording is, because she does close herself off so much. So she absolutely has to continue taking the right steps in opening up to Maren and believing that she's there to stay. And this brings us significantly closer to the.... Would it be the burnout of the slowburn or the explosion of the slowburn?
> 
> Currently i'm starting to just edit the previous chapters with fixtures to some of the grammar or typos, which i'll be doing before each posting of a new chapter. Also editing it so Anna uses emojis in her texts. (Spoiler she totally uses a purple heart every time she texts Elsa because she loves and supports her sister in all her aceness!) So i guess if you notice anything with that the day of, you know the next chapter posting is close. i'm debating how soon to put the final chapter number up, if it should be at the next to last chapter or before then so you guys aren't caught too off guard. But like i said, i also still have work to do with...everything else. Seriously PLEASE NO MORE CRACKFIC OR FIC IDEAS :O That'll do it for this week. i hope you guys enjoyed this and if your reactions to the last chapter were any indication, i should probably prep myself for some more explosions from you all... o.0


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the good news is, i started writing the final chapter at long last and i got up to Chapter 15 edited with most typo's or grammar crap; but the bad news is, i'm totally sucking on any of my Halloween themed ideas. i know, the irony; i try so much to push Elsamaren Halloween and i end up having nothing. -_-; As for this specific story!
> 
> Anything anyone told me about last chapter was nothing but positive. Especially in the form of the hand kiss, because that was absolutely meant to mean so much more than the typical kiss on the lips and, from what i can tell, you guys just ate that up and, i dunno, maybe melted a little?  
> @Patroclus - Just listened to Heartbeats and i totally agree with you, it was so slow and soft and even though i'm not personally one for listening to music while reading, it's definitely a soft Elsamaren song to listen to. Can we petition to make Honeymaren a new Disney Prince? Cause that just sounds amazing!  
> @Frickminister - It's so crazy how close we're getting to the end of this story and to _still _see a comment about bingereading and enjoying the story...i just can't help but think 'holy crap' in the best possible way.__  
>  @fanficfruitts and @RobinPercher - So i will respond to both your comments individually later on, but you both said something that just really got to me so i'd just like to be able to address them here at the same time. Fruitts, you saying that Elsa's thought process literally being a conversation you have with yourself, that it's such an ace thing, and thinking everyone was like that with physical contact; and Robin, you commenting that even though Elsa's ace experience isn't your own the internal conflict and progress is still relatable.... Just. Yes. All of that. When you guys comment about relating to Elsa with your aceness, saying things like how real it is or how close it hits to home...and this goes for everyone's similar comments in the past as well...i can't tell you how happy that makes me to read that. Even though i made the decision early on to have Elsa be asexual, i had no idea where that part of her story would go and i had no idea how much it would mean to anyone reading. And even though Elsa's experience isn't my own either [chapter 20 aside], the thoughts and feelings as a whole are very similar. And for me, personally, it makes me feel so much more connected not just to you guys reading, but to my queerness and the community in general. To know that some of the things that Elsa thinks and feels isn't just me, but it's you guys, too, it makes me feel more included and reminds me of my certainty in my aceness and that i belong somewhere. So a lot of that is very selfish of me, and it makes me not just want to keep writing this more but also more of Ace Elsa in general. But it also reminds me how much representation really means. To know that you guys see yourselves in Elsa, or at least this version of Elsa, to know that you're connecting with her and, in a way, have her speak for you when we as aces don't have a lot of that, to know that i'm the one making that happen for you guys and that it makes you feel good and seen and represented.... i can think about my writing however badly i want. But i can't begin to describe how special it feels to know that my work is having this effect and feelings with you. And that's exactly why i have to keep writing. As much as i hope people in general do enjoy the story and i want to use it to make people happy or distracted or anything, and as much as i appreciate any comments left here, i just want you guys to know how much it means to me when i read ones like yours. Thank you so, so much for that. <3
> 
> [EDIT 12/20 - Sections of the discussion between Snow and Maren in this chapter have been rewritten to better reflect the edits done to the story after the chapter's original posting, primarily in relation to Chapter 33.]

Maren _hated_ people.

Had she mentioned that recently?

It wasn’t just the repetition of the same questions at self scan. It wasn’t just about how people never seemed to read the coupons and threw a fit when they couldn’t save twenty-five cents. It wasn’t just how people didn’t read the signs. It wasn’t just how people could leave things where they so obviously didn’t belong – yogurt stuffed in a magazine rack? Really? And, of course, it wasn’t just the entire mess that came with the pandemic in general, be it with the masks or the rules or the item limits.

The new thing people seemed to love to complain about all day?

The damn belts.

Why were they so dirty? Why couldn’t Maren clean them? Why didn’t she have any paper towels? Why should their food touch _anything_?

Maybe it was just because the shift was so busy. With Fred calling out and a no-show, causing Maren to come in earlier than expected, it was customer after customer after customer after customer. And most of them seemed to complain about the exact same thing.

Never mind that paper towels were already a commodity as they were. Hell, Maren was hardly ever in charge of cleaning after hours so she wasn’t even sure where the spray and paper towels were kept. What Maren didn’t understand was, how the hell did people expect her to constantly clean the belt when it was not only a nonstop madhouse, but also when customers loaded their orders onto the belt before the one in front of them was even finished?

The previous customer had especially been a challenge. It was an older lady who had been flipping through a magazine while Maren completed the transaction in front of her. In most cases, unless there were only a couple of items, the customer would start loading their order onto the belt the first chance they got? But this lady?

First she asked if Maren was going to clean the belt. The obvious answer had been that Maren had no cleaning supplies. The customer proceeded to complain how filthy the belt was and didn’t want any of her items touching it.

Never mind how many other people probably touched those exact items before she got her hands on them.

Holding her breath, Maren offered for the lady to hand her the items and she’d scan them one at a time. It seemed like a simple enough solution; Maren would take the item, scan it, place it on the second belt, and help the lady pack everything once the order was scanned.

Except that wasn’t good enough.

She asked if any part of the register had been cleaned all day.

Maren responded that the registers and belts are cleaned every morning before the store opens and at night after they close. Had her particular register been cleaned during the day? Not since Maren clocked in. Did she mention that she had no cleaning supplies or that there wasn’t even five seconds for her to breathe between customers let alone clean?

The lady demanded that as soon as Maren scanned the item, she put it right in the plastic bag. She didn’t want her items touching _anything_. And when it came time to do her bananas? The lady insisted that Maren bag the bananas immediately and hand them back to her, not even put them down on anything. Maren attempted to explain that she had to weigh the bananas in order for the machine to process them.

The produce touched the scanner scale for less than a second before the customer demanded them back because that was long enough.

Fortunately Maren had been able to read the weight on the screen. Well...sort of. She had read '.4 lbs'. Surmising that it was somewhere between .41 and .49 pounds, Maren manually entered her best guess. 

Bagging the order had been about as frustrating as actually ringing it up. After everything was already packed, she was told not to make the bags too heavy. Before Maren could even tell her the total, the lady picked up each individual bag to determine for herself if Maren had done a decent job.

The milk was on its own, which was fine, but it had to be double bagged.

Maren obliged.

There were three packs of bread in one bag, as to keep the delicate items together.

Except each bread had to go in its own individual bag so the loafs wouldn’t get crushed.

The cold items were all kept to one bag, a pack of waffles and about four yogurts.

The yogurts all had to go in a separate bag and also be doubled.

Needless to say, there had been some questioning if Maren even knew what the hell she was doing.

When the customer finally decided it was time to pay, she not only took her time counting out each individual bill but also proceeded to lick her finger as she separated each one.

Thank god for gloves.

Just when Maren thought it would all be over, the customer decided to ask the price of the strawberries. She wanted to make sure they were two for three. After counting out the change and checking the receipt, Maren determined the strawberries were two for five.

That resulted in her having to send a very irritated old lady to Elsa at customer service to get a refund on the strawberries. As if it were Maren’s fault she did not have the authority to process a refund.

She was going to hear a complaint about that later, wasn’t she?

When it finally calmed down about a half hour before closing, Maren walked around to the other side of her register. “Ok,” she groaned to Ella, “if I had a dime for every complaint about the fucking belt today….”

Ella, who was one register away from Maren, turned to face her. The strawberry blonde raised an eyebrow knowingly. “You’d quit and build your own cabin in the middle of the woods?”

“How did you know?” Maren sighed.

“Unfortunately that’s nothing new,” she sighed. “People have been complaining about our belts long before any of this even started.”

“I can handle the problems with everything else. But if I wanted to get yelled at for not cleaning enough I’d move back in with my aunt,” Maren folded her arms. “How do you do it? Deal with the cleaning problems here on top of cleaning the hotel all the damn time?”

Ella shrugged. “I suppose I’m just used to it. Most times I tell customers I’ll clean at my earliest convenience. It turns out that, in most of those cases, the earliest convenience is after we close or when I start cleaning all of the registers at night. People just don’t understand that we’re already spread thin with our jobs sometimes. And that, especially right now, supplies are spread even thinner. We do the best that we can and that’s all anyone should be able to ask for.”

“Doesn’t sound like our best is enough for these dicks,” Maren muttered.

“It usually isn’t,” she confessed. “But it will get worse before it gets better. And if this is the worst that we have to deal with, I’m sure we’ll be able to come out better in no time at all.”

“Ok where’s that positivity juice you’re drinking and can I get drunk off of that?” Maren asked.

To that, Ella giggled. “You’re starting to sound like Nani.”

Maren groaned. “UGH! Why would you even think something like that?”

“Well Nani has propositioned drinking games in the past,” Ella admitted. “Elsa proceeded to keep track of how many shots we’d be taking for a month.”

“Really now?” Maren raised an eyebrow.

Not that it surprised her that Elsa would be so efficient as to keep a record of almost anything that happened in the store; but to know she actually went to that extent with a drinking game was certainly entertaining.

Maren was going to have fun with that.

Smirking, Maren walked away from her register and approached the service desk. She propped an elbow against the countertop, leaning against it. She raised an eyebrow at her supervisor and heightened her teasing tone as if to make up for the grin Elsa couldn’t see under her mask.

“So when were you gonna tell me you had a drinking problem?”

Elsa’s eyes widened as she turned to Maren. “What?”

“Oh, come on. Ella told me all about that little drinking game you guys had going on. When were you gonna let me in on it?” Maren replied.

Elsa sighed. “The drinking game never happened. It was purposefully to prevent us from getting wasted.”

Not that getting wasted would be difficult to do with a retail drinking game in the first place.

But Maren felt like there was probably more to it.

“And…?”

Pause.

Elsa averted her gaze. “And…. I may have won twenty bucks from Nani in the process,” she confessed quietly.

“A drinker _and_ a gambler?” Maren teased. “I definitely didn’t know you had that in you. Remind me never to take you to Vegas.”

“And you never will,” Elsa replied, “because if I had known I’d win in such a landslide over Nani I would have taken her for much more.”

“So she played you good, huh?” Maren observed.

Elsa groaned and proceeded to shut down the service desk for the night. “Never again.”

“Hey, I can always extract some revenge for you,” she offered.

“I would not ask you to do that,” Elsa said.

“You wouldn’t have to. I’d wanna get revenge on Nani for everything. Me avenging you would just be an added bonus,” she shrugged.

“Trying to play knight in shining armor, are you?”

“I’m more of a flannel type.”

“I think I can work with that.”

“I’d still need a trusty steed.”

“Got anything in particular in mind?”

“More like someone.”

“Oh?”

“Bruni, of course.”

“You might want to rethink that. He’d be leading you into a tree every time.”

“Some faith you have in your little king there.”

“I happen to know him better than anyone.”

“And you’d just let him keep walking into a tree?”

“I’d turn him around to feed him.”

“Before he’d walk right back into the tree?”

Pause.

“...Maybe.”

“Well as long as you’d be standing right there, he can lead me into the tree as many times as he wants.”

Elsa blushed and turned to remove the till from the register. Maren couldn’t help but smile watching her go from teasing to timid. She wondered if Elsa was even fully realizing that they were actually flirting now.

Well, at least Maren was.

And not like the so-called accidental flirting Nani claimed Maren had done so many times in the past.

It was nice to actually approach Elsa in the open like that. Be able to say exactly what was on her mind without fear for once. To just...actually be open. To say it felt like a breath of warm, fresh air was an understatement. It felt more...freeing to know that the feelings were mutual. Holding back for so long, feeling terrified about losing the friendship she created with Elsa, worrying about coming on too strongly…. Maren finally felt free of them. She wanted to help Elsa feel freer, too.

In the meantime, however, they were still on the clock and the store was still open to the public.

“Hey...sorry about before, by the way. Sending that old bitch your way,” Maren apologized.

Elsa shook her head. She placed the till on top of the desk, stretching an arm across it as she closed her drawer. “I think we both know I have dealt with worse.”

“How bad was she? Really?” Maren hesitated to ask.

“She….” Elsa paused. “Had some complaints…. But I took note of absolutely none of them.”

“I hope it’s cause she was being a controlling bitch and not just you trying to protect my ass,” Maren folded her arms.

“Honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered what I told her or whatever logical explanation I offered. She was one of the customers who simply wanted to whine in hopes of getting something out of it for herself,” Elsa admitted. “I know full well we could do a better job keeping up with the store’s cleanliness. I’m well aware of the customers’ concerns. That being said, I’ve worked here long enough to know how things are. And if we really did have a drinking game solely based on their complaints and attitudes, I would have been drunk well before clocking in this afternoon.”

Maren attempted to hide a chuckle at the thought.

Elsa shook her head. “Some things here, we simply can’t change. I can’t speak for how Oaken decides to run his business, but I do know we are not a large corporation like a lot of other stores out there. I can only assume that with or without the pandemic our cleaning supplies are simply limited. And the time we already have during our shifts is stretched pretty thin. If it was that imperative we clean between every single customer, we would have been shut down ages ago.”

“Is that your super professional way of saying not to go crazy over one old coot?” Maren assumed.

“Well that. And….” Elsa offered a shrug of her shoulders before averting her gaze slightly. One of her cheeks seemed to pop out, as if she were pursing her lips.

Not that Maren was thinking about her lips!

“And if I’m going to worry about protecting your ass, it’s not going to be over one old bitch.”

Maren felt her cheeks heat up. She had no idea if it was because Elsa really did want to protect Maren’s ass or if it was because she cursed twice in the same sentence.

To be fair, it was probably the latter. Something about Elsa cursing was such a turn on.

Thank the retail gods Elsa couldn’t see Maren blushing wildly under her mask.

Was it getting hotter in the store?

“So.”

“YES?”

Maren paused.

“Sorry...I…” she stammered, “I don’t know why that was so loud….”

Elsa let out a faint “heh” almost as if she were trying to hold back a giggle. Good to know she thought Maren’s embarrassment was actually cute. “I was just going to ask if we were still on for eight-thirty.”

Eight-thirty…?

Oh!

When they coordinated their breaks.

So they could eat chocolate together.

Have their time in the break room.

Somehow hearing Elsa say it was almost...surreal. Suddenly it wasn’t just their unspoken ritual anymore. It was actually...real. It was _their_ thing.

Maren’s look softened and she swore her body was turning to jell-o. “I’d really like that. What were you thinking for dinner?”

“I did bring a pack of pop tarts tonight. We could share that. Or if you wanted we could always….” Elsa paused. She blinked and turned her head, cutting herself off from her previous thought completely. “Is everything alright, Snow?”

Maren turned her head. Snow had approached the two of them, though keeping some distance. “Oh...I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt…” the teen apologized.

“You’re fine, Snow,” Elsa promised. “What is it?”

“I just wanted to make sure it’s all right that I clock out now,” she admitted. “I go home at seven-thirty and my uncle should be here soon.”

Elsa glanced at the register, seeming to take note of the time. “Of course. Go home and eat something. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thank you. Good night,” Snow nodded. She punched her numbers into the time clock before going back to her register and retrieving her items.

Maren couldn’t help but silently watch the girl. Suddenly she was taken back to the other night. She remembered snapping at Snow, feeling as though she completely lost it on her. Not that a day was too long to go without speaking, but Snow hadn’t even greeted Maren with her usual peppy hello when she clocked in. Did she still think Maren was pissed at her? Maren pulled in her lips, recalling what Nani had told her. Snow would forgive everyone else before she forgave herself. Maren sighed realizing this. Of course Snow was going to try and keep her distance. With the way Maren overreacted, Snow must have been terrified about overstepping again. She had to make things right. It was bad enough she thought she had lost any chance with Elsa; she couldn’t let that happen with Snow, too.

Holding in a breath, Maren turned her attention back to Elsa. “Actually…. Can I take a rain check on dinner? There’s kind of something I have to take care of.”

Elsa blinked, though she didn’t seem to take offense to Maren’s suggestion. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine,” she promised with a nod. “I just...I kinda need to take my break now, if I can. It’s important.”

“We’ll make it work,” Elsa agreed.

Maren offered a small shrug of her shoulder. “But I’ll be around until closing. Probably doing throwbacks. Unless you wanted to stick me on candy duty…?”

Not that Maren wanted candy duty at all. But if it could keep her near Elsa, or maybe give her something to do with Elsa...she could handle candy duty.

“I’ll think about it,” the blonde mused. “Go clock out for your half.”

Maren smiled, hoping Elsa could actually see it under her mask somehow. “Dinner’s on me tomorrow,” she promised. She entered her numbers into the time clock before heading out of the store in hopes of catching up with Snow before she left. Luckily it wasn’t too difficult to catch up with the teen. She merely made her way to the bench and sat her backpack underneath it. Taking a deep breath, Maren approached. “Hey Snow.”

Snow turned her head to Maren, halting in the middle of removing her mask. “Hi…”

Her voice was more timid than usual, and understandably so. Maren took full responsibility for that.

“I was just wondering if you had a few minutes before your uncle came,” Maren said.

“Shouldn’t you be working though…?” she asked.

“It’s ok. I’m on my half right now,” she promised. “I just wanted to catch you before you left.”

Snow set her hands in her lap and tilted her head in the other direction. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you apologizing for?” Maren asked, sitting at the edge of the bench. “It was my decision to come after you.”

“But you could’ve been taking your break later. And you’re not even eating anything right now,” Snow replied. “I’m sorry you felt you had to do that.”

Maren’s face fell. Not only was Snow going to start apologizing for the other night, but she was already apologizing just for Maren choosing to take her break early. As if it were her fault somehow. Or that it was somehow a bad thing Maren would be spending her break with Snow instead of Elsa. She sighed at the thought. That wasn’t the case at all. As much as Maren enjoyed her breaks with Elsa and as excited as she was to see where they would go from this point forward, Snow was just as important. She had to know that, didn’t she?

“You’re not the one who should be saying that. I’m the one who should be apologizing to you,” she said.

“But you were angry with me…. So that’s why I need to,” Snow sighed.

“Actually…. I was angry with myself,” Maren admitted. “Snow, I really shouldn’t’ve snapped at you the way I did. The way I reacted was uncalled for. I was upset and I made you upset. And I’m sorry I did that and came down so hard on you.”

Snow’s brows furrowed in confusion. “Why would you be so mad at yourself?”

Maren pursed her lips in thought. She leaned back on the bench, removing her mask to take in a breath of fresh air. How to explain this to sweet, innocent, little Snow…?

“I was beating myself up for being an idiot. And I know that sounds dumb. It…it probably is really dumb…. But the truth is, I made a lot of mistakes. And I felt….” She took a pause. No, it wasn’t just that she had felt it. “I _still_ feel…like that’s all I do. I was mad at you because you at least tried to do something about it. Even if telling Attina that Elsa and I were your foster moms wasn’t the best idea. You still tried. And you wanted to help. I couldn’t accept that. And all I did was stand there like a doofus.”

“But you were just nervous,” Snow encouraged, “there’s nothing wrong with that.”

If only nerves began to describe it.

“The thing is…when you kinda grow up with people…when you get close to them…you see how much better they are…. It kinda reminds you how far behind you are. Attina was always the successful type. She did everything right and I did everything wrong. And when I was with her, I….”

Fucked up, Maren wanted to say.

But Maren couldn’t keep telling herself that.

She made mistakes.

But wanting something with Attina?

Feeling the way she did?

It wasn’t what Attina wanted or felt.

That didn’t make Maren wrong.

As strongly as she’d felt for Attina – as much as she thought what she had felt for Attina at that point was actual love – she didn’t want to hide it. She wanted to flaunt it. Show her off. Show everyone how happy she was with Attina. How happy Attina made her. Even back then, Maren hated concealing. But she had to. She knew what and where they could do specific things, what to do or say, and…. And she blew it.

She did nothing for herself and even less for Attina.

“I…I was reminded how much better off she was without me,” Maren confessed quietly. “I saw her being successful, looking like she was exactly where she wanted to be in life, like she was doing everything right. Again. And I….”

Was just an experiment gone wrong.

That’s what she kept coming back to.

Attina never wanted Maren, did she?

She just…wanted to experiment.

And Maren was her plaything.

But she couldn’t admit any of that out loud.

Especially not to Snow.

“Do you really believe all of that?”

Snow’s quiet voice filled the silence that followed. Maren bit her tongue in attempt to respond. All of that…? All of that as in, what Maren just said? Or all of that as in, when Maren snapped?

Maren’s face fell.

She said some pretty horrible things, didn’t she?

In general and about herself.

Did she really believe all of that?

After so long of pushing it all away; thinking she was over it; trying to just move on with her life; all it took was five minutes with Attina for everything to come flooding back. How the hell was she supposed to respond to that?

Especially when it was all true?

She couldn’t break Snow. Not again.

Hell, she couldn’t even meet Snow’s concerned gaze.

“I’m sorry.”

Maren sighed. It wasn’t on Snow to apologize. “Snow….”

“I’m sorry she made you feel that way,” the teen clarified. She shifted on the bench so she better faced Maren. “You don’t do everything wrong. You do _everything_. You’re always there to defend us. Any time I’ve needed something, you’ve been there. We’re so lucky to have you here and we all know it. You’re wonderful, Maren. And if she couldn’t see that for herself then she must have been too wrapped up in herself. She didn’t realize what she had when she had it. It’s her loss, Maren. She wasn’t the one who was right; she was the one who was wrong.”

Maren pursed her lips. Did Snow really mean all of that? Did she really look at Maren and see someone who was…?

But Snow saw the good in everything somehow. Even when Maren had snapped at her, Snow didn’t look at her like she was some loser who messed up time and time again. She didn’t see the parts of Maren that were wrong. She just looked at her and….

And saw her sister.

She thought and hoped for the best and somehow she saw that in Maren.

But then again, Snow could see the best in anyone. She never looked for anything malicious. And if she ever encountered any of it? She never responded in the same way. She just kept continued searching.

Yet there was no searching with Maren. There was no thinking involved. She just…knew, somehow. Snow was being completely sincere.

If someone like Snow could see so much good in Maren with no hesitations, maybe there was hope for her yet.

“Thank you.”

Maren took a pause, lifting her head to see the daylight fade between the clouds. It was going to be dark in no time and the temperature would likely drop again. Maren never particularly minded the cold. Actually, she much preferred it to the humid summers. But she found herself becoming more accustomed to the warmth. For the most part she attributed that to Elsa. But maybe she wasn’t the only one. Sitting beside Snow underneath the early evening sky, Maren barely paid any mind to the light breeze.

Finally, she let out a sigh. “You know…. In the beginning I spent a lot of time blaming Attina. I thought she was the problem. But the more I thought about it, the more I heard, the more time that went on…. I thought I was the problem instead. I don’t know. Maybe it’s a two-way street. I don’t know if any of it even meant anything to Attina…. But I probably wouldn’t’ve started owning up to Elsa if she hadn’t shown up in the first place.”

From the corner of her eye she could see Snow fiddling with her mask in her hands. She must have removed it while Maren was lost in thought. And now she was thinking, wasn’t she?

Maren held in a sigh.

She was going to be the one to bring up the elephant in the room.

Or rather, the elephant in the supermarket.

“I still wish you didn’t tell Nani or Ella about the kiss…. But that’s also on me for doing it in the first place.”

“But you wanted to…?” Snow inquired hesitantly.

Maren paused. There was no hiding it at all, was there?

“Yeah. I did.”

“So….” The teen pulled in her lips, leaning forward with an inquisitive yet hesitant look in her eyes. “Are you girlfriends now…?”

That was a good question.

What did that make Elsa and Maren?

It wasn’t like they talked about anything else after that. It had been late by the time they finished and they were both understandably emotionally drained. Although, speaking for herself, Maren had actually felt pretty level. She was drained yet also invigorated. It was probably from the excitement of realizing the feelings were reciprocated. But Elsa was still so hesitant about herself…. Knowing how Elsa identified now, a lot of things suddenly seemed to make sense. Why she didn’t talk about her personal life a lot. Why she kept to herself. Why she didn’t get too close to people. Maren was not going to pressure her into rushing with anything. Her feelings no longer had to be concealed. And for Maren, that was enough for now. She just wanted to continue learning everything she could about Elsa and falling more and more for her each day.

“I don’t know,” she finally confessed, “but I know I do wanna ask her out.”

“I think you should,” Snow encouraged.

“Heh,” Maren scoffed, “you and everyone else, apparently.”

Pause.

“I am sorry I told them,” Snow apologized. “I just saw that happen and you take off…. I didn’t know what I could do. But I knew Nani and Ella might. So that’s why I got them.”

“I guess I just tried so hard to keep everything bottled up. And when I finally let it go it seemed like everyone found out at once. I didn’t wanna put Elsa on display like that,” Maren explained.

“If it helps at all…. Nani was just disappointed she missed it,” Snow admitted.

Maren blew some bangs away from her face. “Typical Nani. What, she make a bet on it or something?”

Another pause.

“Maybe…?” Snow squeaked.

Pause again.

Maren groaned loudly and threw her arms up. “Oh come on!”

Snow giggled. In any other instance, it probably would have annoyed Maren on some level. It must have been an older sibling thing; she knew if Ryder were there, he’d laugh at her, too. But she actually felt relieved to hear some joy from the teenager. Even if it was at Maren’s expense. It meant that now…. Maybe Snow wasn’t so frustrated with herself. And she could start trying to forgive herself the way Maren was trying to. Or rather, that she needed to do. Maren was going to make mistakes no matter what; but maybe if she made the conscious effort to at least try and do better…. She couldn’t change what went wrong in the past. She could, however, stop letting it define and consume her. For Elsa, Maren would try a thousand times over. She was absolutely worth it. Maren just had to remind herself that she was worth it, too. It was just going to take some time.

For a brief moment it felt as though she had finally been able to take a step forward.

Though there was still one burning question.

“Hey Snow…. Can I ask one thing?” Maren wondered.

“What is it?” she replied.

Maren pursed her lips. “Um….” How to phrase this delicately? “Why that lie…? You know…. About me and Elsa…?”

A look of realization came across Snow’s face. She tightened her shoulders and brought her gaze down to her mask. “It was the first thing I could think of….” She said quietly.

Why did Maren not fully believe that?

“And…?” she gently prodded.

“And….” Snow pulled in her lips. “I...I sort of...kind of...maybe wanted it to be true.” She sighed, leaning her head down. “It was just wishful thinking, I guess. I thought it’d be nice to pretend for once...that it could really be true.”

Dammit Snow.

She really made it so difficult to stay angry with her, even if the anger wasn’t meant for her.

“That’s not actually how it is, Sis…” she said gently.

Pause.

“I know….” Snow mumbled in disappointment. Or maybe it was sadness. “It’s just…. You both have been wonderful to me. And I never really had a mother so…. It would’ve been really nice to feel like I actually had two.”

“We’re your sisters, Snow,” Maren reminded her.

“That’s what Elsa said…” the younger admitted.

Maren offered her a small smile. She reached over and placed her hand on Snow’s shoulder. “Hey…. It doesn’t make us less of a family, you know? We’re not gonna stop looking out for you or caring about you. And as long as you’re stuck in this dump, it’s not just me and Elsa you got. It’s Ella and Nani, too. You can't pick your family and you can’t pick your coworkers so...I don’t know, maybe it’s kinda the same thing here. You’re stuck with us the same way you’re stuck with your uncles. Like I’m stuck with Ryder. And if you really think about it, as long as you got me and Elsa you get another sister and a brother out of it. You get Ryder and Anna, too.”

Snow tilted her lips to the side, the faintest blush on her cheeks. But then again, on Snow’s ivory skin it was pretty obvious. “That does sound kind of nice.”

“Ryder’s a better sibling than I am anyway,” Maren mused. “He’ll only yell at you if you kick his ass in Mario Kart. And I have.”

To that, Snow giggled.

“So what do you say, Sis? Forgive me?” Maren asked hopefully.

“If you forgive me,” she agreed.

“Of course,” Maren nodded.

_HONK! HONK!_

The girls turned their head to see a car parked in front of them, headlights on and a seemingly short older man in the driver’s seat. Even from the angle Maren was sitting at, not being able to tell much else about Snow’s uncle, she could see him giving her the side eye.

“That’s Uncle Grumpy,” the teen observed.

“You don’t say,” the older commented.

Snow reached down and pulled her backpack out from underneath the bench. “See you tomorrow?”

“I’ll be here,” Maren nodded. She stood up and covered her mouth and nose with the mask once again. She bid a goodnight to Snow and then walked back into the supermarket. Maren turned as she entered, glancing up at the clock above the exit door. Seven forty-three. She still had half of her break left. It was just too bad Elsa had to wait until after they closed to take hers. But that didn’t mean Maren still couldn’t spend hers with Elsa, right?

Pulling in her lips, she approached the service desk. Elsa was on the outside of it, leaning on the counter top and tapping a pen beside the clipboard. Maren stepped over cautiously and kept her voice low at first, not wanting to throw Elsa off in any way.

“Hey…”

“Oh!” Elsa blinked and picked her head up. “Back already?”

“In fifteen minutes, actually. Or are you disappointed to see me already?” Maren teased.

Elsa rolled her eyes. “Very funny.”

“What are you doing?” Maren inquired.

“Just going over the lineup for tomorrow. I wanted to familiarize myself with the schedule in case anyone called out again. Maybe plan ahead about who to call in if necessary,” she answered.

“You know you could always ask the girl standing next to you,” Maren mused.

“I could…” Elsa admitted, “but just because I live here does not mean you need to as well.”

“Maybe if the right person asked, I’d consider it,” she inclined.

Elsa’s eyes widened at the suggestion. Was she blushing under her mask? It would have been a lot more obvious if Maren could actually see her face in its entirety.

Though it wouldn’t hurt either, to marvel in Elsa’s beauty every chance she got.

“You are definitely getting candy duty tonight,” the blonde decided after a minute.

“I’ll take it. On one condition,” Maren agreed.

Elsa shifted her body, leaning her side against the desk so she better faced Maren. “I don’t believe you have the authority to issue that.”

“It’s one harmless condition. I promise you won’t regret it,” Maren said.

Elsa quirked an eyebrow.

“Still got that extra pop tart?” Maren asked hopefully.

Elsa tapped the pen against the clipboard. Her eyes drifted upwards in thought. Letting out the faintest “hm,” she set the pen down and then walked around to the other side of the desk. She leaned forward, seeming to grab something from underneath. Maren tilted her head, waiting in anticipation. A moment later, Elsa stood up straight and revealed she indeed had a pack of pop tarts on her person. She removed her gloves and set a napkin on the countertop and then opened the pack, revealing a cookies and cream pop tart. She wrapped the spare one back in the foil, likely saving it for her own break. Maren slowly slid her hand across the desk, reaching for the treat. But before she could grab it, Elsa placed her hand over it.

“Cocoa Puffs and m&m’s for dinner tomorrow.”

Elsa’s voice was assertive and firm. Definitely a change, though not unwelcome.

“What kind?” Maren asked.

“I like peanut,” Elsa decided.

“Peanut it is,” Maren agreed. She managed to slip her hand under Elsa’s, yanking the pop tart from underneath and allowing their hands to brush in the briefest manner possible. Maren turned before Elsa could respond any further.

Also to give her a moment to cool off the blush that was probably covering her cheeks again.

Though, before Maren could get too far, she was met with a stoic Nani. The taller woman narrowed her gaze at Maren and folded her arms across her chest.

Maren puffed out her cheeks in frustration. “I’m not putting on a show for you, Nani.”

“No, no. It’s not that,” she shrugged.

“Ok, what of it then?”

“Nothing.”

“No, that’s not a nothing nothing. That’s a something nothing.”

“What? It’s nothing.”

“Nani what is it?”

“Why do you always assume it’s something with me?”

Maren glared at her.

“Nani, if you got something to say just let me have it already.”

“You really wanna know?”

“Ugh just let it out already!”

“Alright, alright, fine.”

Pause.

“Really, Casanova? All that and only _one_ bag of m&m’s?”

Maren pouted. “As opposed to one bag of _every_ m&m?”

Nani blinked.

She took a pause before responding in the most obvious tone Maren had ever heard.

“What, you never treated a girl to dinner before? Aye, get your head outta your ass, Maren.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're entering the final stretch. Everything is starting to get all tied up. Of course that doesn't mean it's without any retail horror stories. Yes, i get constant complaints about how dirty the belt is; yes people do expect me to clean in between every single customer even when it's a nonstop madhouse; yes, people do make insane requests about bagging; yes, customers do wait until _after_ they pay to ask questions about sales when i can't do anything about them; and no, i don't have a magical endless supply of spray and paper towels under my register. Please don't complain about how filthy the belts in stores are _especially_ when we're visibly busy. i can't tell you how frustrating that alone is.
> 
> Though it wasn't the main point of this chapter, i did feel it was necessary to show Maren and Snow tie up the loose ends about the Fake Foster Moms Incident (is that even a good name to call it?). Even though we all knew they'd be ok and still end up being work sisters, it still felt like something to show being played out as opposed to happening behind the scenes. And it wasn't something i felt like it needed a whole chapter dedicated to since we did see Snow kind of already talking to Elsa about it. So it was basically Maren's turn to just make things right. That gave enough room to play here for some teasing and a little bit of fluff. Maybe it's one of the filler chapters in that sense, but i also didn't feel it made sense for Elsamaren to jump right into anything defining their relationship, being it a date or label or something. Regardless of how soon that happens chapter-wise, that still felt like something that has to be worked up to. And, in regards to them getting closer and maybe even actually start something, you will see that over the course of the next couple of chapters.
> 
> Plus, after the emotional heaviness of the past few chapters it's nice to go back and be reminded that Maren is an idiot. Apparently, according to Nani, you need way more than just _one_ bag of m&m's to impress a girl. .... And as a chocoholic, i can't say she'd be totally wrong lol.
> 
> Like i said in the first author note i did start writing the last chapter so with any luck, if i can't get it done this week hopefully i can get it done next and you guys won't have to wait with any delays in updates. That being said, there will definitely be a delay in between this and a new story. Between attempting to fill a notebook with ideas i wanna include for a follow up, having multiple in-progress oneshots, failed Halloween inspired stories, and more ideas for stories i wanna write, i make no promises of how soon a followup to this story will come. Currently the biggest problem i'm still having with a followup is naming it. i'm not really sure what i can say about it yet to help with ideas, except that it'd basically continue to follow Elsamaren through their retail jobs, dealing with more annoying customers, a new frustrating manager, coworkers old and new, and exploring their growing relationship. Which, i know, is pretty open-ended. So i'm open to most suggestions. i think it was T2Boy2 that suggested something like Necessary or something similar to that, to kinda keep up with the meaning of Essential, since the primary setting and drama will continue to be in Oaken's. i was also personally debating about Home, not just as an Easter Egg to Frozen 2 but because personally, i joke so much about the store i work at being my home, and also because of the dysfunctional retail family Elsamaren accidentally created in Oaken's. So i'm not sure if that's something that can work. 
> 
> i hope you guys continue to enjoy this story as it winds down. Please continue to stay safe during this pandemic. Have an awesome Spooky Month. And as always, thank you so much for reading and for everything you have to say. i appreciate you guys so much <3 See you soon with a new update and probably some more crazy retail stories!


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the record i did _not_ intend on waiting two weeks to post another chapter. My schedule at work has been wonky, i've been staying extra just about every shift, it's been busy at home, and i was trying my best to focus on getting Elsamaren Halloween oneshots finished. i did manage to get the two done i was working on for like two months, plus i got to work on a TOH/Frozen crossover crackfic for Elsamaren Halloween in the form of Hooty Halloween (but officially titled The Nightmare Before Hootyween at the Owless House) with Holographicbubbles and that was a blast. i can't believe we spent so much time on that and i'm so happy with how that turned out. So feel free to skip over my two oneshots but, especially if you enjoy being haunted by the sounds of Hooty's voice and if you also love what Holographicbubbles does, check out Hootyween. Literally, almost every part i wrote, they took it and added onto it and made it so much better! The oneshot is one crazy roller coaster of a ride but if you ever wanted to see Hooty interact with Elsamaren, read Hooty sing a few snippets of Disney songs in his Hooty way, be terrified and full of feels at the same time.... Hootyween. (Also yes i'm only promoting that more than anything else i ever worked on cause credit where credit is due - Hologrphicbubbles is amazing!)
> 
> Ok i'm super behind on comments so lemme just jump right into those!  
> @Ravrav - Woooow ok great name for a sequel when they'll still be SPOILER working in retail and are still essential LOL. i definitely don't intend to take a month between updates but yeah there's definitely gonna be another hiatus coming after this story, save for a couple more oneshots. Wait a second, you mean people actually _don't_ choose to adopt people as their friends? Cause you're kinda describing how i ended up having any of the friends i do. It was all accidents! xD i'll just have to keep prepping myself for your screaming at me for everything i ever write until i don't write!  
> @Superamy777 - Nani knows what's up! Raise your hand if you're dream anything just involves a buttload of chocolate XD The last chapter is still very much in progress, basically cutting it down to the wire here, so i have no idea how i'm wrapping everything up yet either lol!  
> @LethyMay - You can comment as much or as little as you like! i'm so glad you loved last chapter, i hope it made your day a little bit better and with any luck this one will also make your day a little bit better!  
> @Hugo_renfield - Couldn't _not_ have the moment between Maren and Snow. And Nani NEVER jokes around! XD  
> @T2Boy2 - The old lady was a mixture of multiple different customers but that actually makes it even worse because then you realize that kind of interaction happens MULTIPLE times 0.0 Ok are you calling Elsamaren (and me) out on how much chocolate we eat at work? Cooking? Healthy? What are these words??  
> @Domika83 - Elsa and Maren are about to get a bit more comfortable with their feelings cause they still have a bit to talk about! And i promise that actual kiss IS coming! :P  
> @fanficfruitts - This. This right here. Is exactly why i kept the story going in the first place. Just. Thank you <3  
> @RobinPercher - i like how you put this story in parenthesis cause you know there's gonna be more coming lol. But yes we're really down to it now! Two more after this one!  
> @Fro_Elsamaren_zen - Ok you're calling Elsamaren (and me) out on the dinner choices? Anyone else wanna take a shot while we're at it? XDD But yes, chocolate for dinner. It's a thing. It's their thing. And also it's chocolate. i have no other excuses.
> 
> Only two episodes - i mean chapters - left before the series finale - i mean the end - of Essential.... Ok yeah, that was terrible. i realized it as soon as i typed it. So have another long-awaited chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it and stay tuned at the end for the real retail story behind the retail story in the story about retail.... Or, in case you wanted the simpler more understanding version, Maren and Elsa share retail stories here and they're real retail stories which i'll share in the end author note. Which will be long. Very long. You totally didn't miss this.

“…So I’m standing there trying to explain to this guy how the hell tomatoes work and he goes and leaves me to get the sales sign to prove he’s right because he just wants as many damn tomatoes as he can get.”

It was back to their nightly ritual once again; Maren and Elsa sitting across from each other in the break room, a cup of Cocoa Puffs and a bag of peanut m&m’s sitting in the middle between them. The store had closed roughly a half hour ago and, Maren would admit, she was probably going to take longer than fifteen minutes sitting in the break room with Elsa. But who could blame her when it was a routine both of them missed?

Currently Maren was in the middle of her daily retail horror story. It wasn’t even something she purposefully brought up; it was meant to tease Elsa about what the hell she missed the one time she went to the bathroom in the middle of chaos. Earlier that shift Maren had a customer with a rather large order and, naturally, as soon as she rang up an item that was supposed to be free she was questioned. But, so much like self scan, she had to explain to the customer that when she finished scanning and totaled everything, anything that was supposed to be free would come off. When she had done so, the guy didn’t waste any time questioning the tomatoes. There was only one issue with his concern. It was the packs of cherub tomatoes that were buy one get one; the man had filled two produce bags with plum tomatoes. Maren had become caught in a loop with him, trying to explain that it was a specific pack of prepackaged tomatoes that were on sale while any loose tomatoes were done by weight. But he’d been having none of it and proceeded to throw a fit about how he knew exactly what he read; that he should be getting one of his bags of tomatoes free; that Maren had no idea what she was talking about or doing; that the customer was always right.

“How much did these bags of tomatoes weigh anyway?” Elsa blinked.

“One of them was nearing four pounds,” Maren groaned. “Don’t ask me how the hell he pulled that off. I had to literally pull Nani away from self scan to come back me up because my word wasn’t good enough and he just _had_ to talk to someone with actual power.”

Elsa placed her hands over her mouth. “I’m so sorry. That was a terrible time for me to go missing.”

“Hey, you can’t control when these dicks decide to show up,” Maren promised. She couldn’t help but continue with a smirk, “Although if you really wanted I’m sure I could get you back for that somehow.”

“I expect you to,” Elsa admitted.

“I was kidding! I’m not really gonna do anything!” Maren gasped.

“No, no. You absolutely should. He was frustrating and he was questioning your capabilities….”

“Hey I know that I know what I’m doing.”

“And I have full confidence in you as well, but that still doesn’t give anyone the right to doubt you.”

“He was being an entitled jerk.”

“Which often equates to thinking they are right even though they are not the ones who live here.”

“I think I’m used to it by now. Besides you're the one who keeps putting me on the schedule in the first place.”

“I am not the one who dictates the schedule.”

Pause.

“And that is not the only reason you keep coming in.”

Elsa’s second response came in a much more quiet, almost hesitant tone. She attempted to hide her blush by taking a sip of her water, but Maren could see right through her.

Also it was not difficult to spot any sort of color against her light skin.

“Well you are right about that,” the brunette admitted with a shrug. She continued coming in because it was her job and, for some reason, money was a necessity in order to survive. But Maren was also more than willing to go in as much as needed if it meant spending more time with Elsa. There was no sense in keeping that secret anymore. She wondered, however, if unlike the rest who knew without so much uttering a word, if it had actually gotten through to Elsa.

Maren reached forward, taking a small handful of m&m’s from the bag. She tilted her palm up, using her free hand to remove one at a time. “So….” She placed one piece of candy in her mouth, devouring it, before speaking again. “Your turn.”

Elsa blinked and straightened her posture. “My what?”

“Your turn,” she shrugged. “To share a retail horror story.”

“Oh, no, we are not doing this,” she insisted.

“Hey, I just shared mine for the day.”

“You are just following through with declaring your revenge.”

“Revenge has nothing to do with it. This is all curiosity.”

“I am not going there.”

“Elsa, you practically live here. All you’re missing is a bed and a shower. Come on, what’s the worst retail story you ever had?”

“Maren, no.”

When the response came out harsher than initially intended, Elsa let out a sigh. She clutched her water bottle lightly.

“I just…I work hard to keep up appearances here. I don’t want to risk anyone thinking less of me.”

Maren’s face softened. “Elsa, I promise no one would think that about you. We all deal with the same shit here every day. You just dealt with it longer than most of us. It’s not like anyone’s gonna judge you for reacting a wrong way or how you dealt with something. I know I would never.”

“I do appreciate that and it’s not that I don’t believe you,” she said. “But…I was not exactly in the best state of mind when I started here. It was…new and terrifying and nerve wracking…. I had just let go of the company. I had no idea what I was doing with my life anymore. I just…I knew that I needed to work. And that Anna needed me. I couldn’t be of any use to her if I stayed at home sulking or hiding.”

“But look at how far you’ve come since then,” Maren offered. “You’re practically running the place. You couldn’t’ve been able to do this if you didn’t grow. Don’t we all kinda suck when we start here anyway? I mean, look at me. When I started all I wanted to do was punch people. I don’t anymore.”

Elsa stared at her skeptically.

“Mostly….”

Pursed lips.

“Hardly….”

Raised eyebrow.

“Maybe….”

Narrowed gaze.

“As much….”

Tilted lips.

Maren groaned. “Ok fine, I’m still working on it.”

“That’s what I thought,” Elsa commented before taking a Cocoa Puff.

“But, if it means anything….” Maren pulled in her lips. “I wanna punch people less when you’re around. And if I don’t, it’s only cause they’re annoying you.”

Elsa closed her eyes and inhaled, a faint brush briefly gracing her cheeks. “Now you are just trying to butter me up.”

Maren squinched her eyes a little. “Is it working?”

Elsa took a pause. She reached forward, pulling the cup of cereal closer to her. Her hands cupped around it and she opened her gaze, gazing at the balls of chocolate inside. “I don’t want _you_ to think less of me,” she confessed softly. “You have so much unquestionable faith in me but…. If I go back and tell you…. It was far from an ideal time in my life. Nothing really was, but…. You said it yourself. We’ve all been there. So you would see all of the flaws. You would know how bad it was.”

It took so much for Elsa to open up. Everything she shared with Maren up to that point…none of it was ever forced, of course…but it still took so much energy and trust for Elsa to willingly get to that point. No, Maren didn’t know everything about Elsa’s past. No, she wasn’t going to ask. It wasn’t her business to pull as much out of Elsa as humanly possible. Just because she wanted to know everything about Elsa, because she was so entranced with her, because she wanted to find every possible reason to love her….

Which, Maren realized once she thought it, was so miserably beyond corny.

“Hey….” Maren spoke gently as she slid her arm across the table. She kept her hand resting in front of the cereal. Not so much to use the cup as a blockade from reaching Elsa all the way, but for Elsa to decide to remove it and take Maren’s hand like she had in the past. So many times before Maren halted her hand centimeters, perhaps even less than, before reaching Elsa. But she always let Elsa close that final gap. This was just another thing Elsa had her guard up about. And that was ok. Maybe she just needed a little reminder was all.

“You told me about Gale…. You opened up about your parents…. I know those were hard to do. But I’m still here, aren’t I? Even if nothing never was ‘ideal’…. I put you on a pedestal because you’re strong. You’re a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for. And I would never knock you down from that. I couldn’t think less of you, Elsa. Even if I tried. This doesn’t change anything. I promise.”

She hoped her words made it through to her supervisor somehow. Even if Elsa didn’t tell her the whole story, or even the worst possible retail story, Maren just wanted to know something. She would take anything that Elsa offered her. And no, perhaps saying nothing would change was not the whole truth. The same had been true when Elsa came out to her. Absolutely nothing changed in regards to Maren’s feelings or the way she looked at Elsa. All that changed was that she had to be more cautious. She had to better realize how anything she said or did might have affected Elsa. She wanted to do better. No, she _had_ to do better. This was no different from that. Maren would do anything to make Elsa as comfortable as possible. And if this could lend her even the faintest clue as to make that possible, or even help her understand Elsa a little better? That was all Maren wanted. She wanted to try for Elsa’s sake every time. Maybe it was just taking Elsa a little longer to recognize she had to try as well. She always seemed to have something in front of her. Her hands; her braid; the desk; her water; something. But she’d started to let Maren in. She trusted her enough to even get to the current point. And she wanted to get better than that; do better for Maren. Somehow, even if Elsa wasn’t actively admitting it, Maren could feel it.

She watched Elsa’s gaze shift slightly. It wasn’t by much; if anything, it seemed to move from the cereal to Maren’s hand. Was she considering Maren’s words? Was she going so far as to thinking about taking Maren’s hand? The faintest movement of her chest indicated a breath in. Her fingers tightened around the cup before loosening again.

“It was my first year here…. I couldn’t have been more than about four months in,” Elsa began, her voice low. “I think it was a Saturday or Sunday, and I was at register five; right near the service desk. It wasn’t a particularly large order but…. You know how frustrating it is when you try to speak to a customer and they don’t respond? You ask how they’re doing and they’re radio silent? So you decide if they’re not going to speak to you then you won’t either? At least, that was what I anticipated. But there was this bag of limes…. He must have filled the produce bag with as many as he could possibly squeeze in. And he tied the bag so it was impossible to maneuver through it. I asked how many were in the bag but he just kept bagging. So I attempted to count them myself. When I asked him again and there was no response, I took it on myself to open the bag. But…I underestimated how thin those bags were. The hole was bigger than I anticipated, and though the goal was to set each lime on the scanner scale and count…. All I had to do was remove one…. The rest tumbled out of the bag at once and slid across the belt. Nothing happened to them, of course, but…. But he became so enraged that his limes touched anything. That they were taken out of the bag in the first place…. I did attempt to apologize and explain but…. Well…. A number of f bombs were dropped. And all he could do was say that it was my fault….”

Elsa paused, pulling her lips in and moving her gaze to the side. “It was my fault he had to waste more time and get all new limes. It was my fault I couldn’t tell how many there were in the first place. Everything was just…. My fault.” Another pause. “No, he didn’t say those words specifically. Just that it was my fault. But the way he said it…so full of rage…. Just….” She sighed and closed her eyes. “I didn’t take it well. I couldn’t even face the other customers. Not when I felt that incompetent. Dealing with the lawsuit…then the company…. It made me question how the hell I could handle even being a cashier. I ran to the desk and tried telling Cogsworth what happened…. Thank the retail gods it was him there and not Radcliffe. He told me to take some time outside; get myself together while he took over. I….” She removed her hands from the cup for all of a second. Her arms looked as if they were about to retreat into herself, like she always did. Like the barrier was about to come back stronger. Yet Elsa’s fingers tightened instead, as if she forced them to remain in place. She still could not bring herself to look at Maren and her tone became regretful with a single sentence. “My mental health was not so great that day.”

Maren didn’t speak right away. She took the time to picture the scene before her. She attempted to imagine Elsa as a college student struggling to manage the crowds on a busy weekend. It wasn’t quite identical to the image of Snow when Maren first met her, but somehow she could envision the same shyness. It had to have been different for Maren, being older and in school because she had experience on some level. But for a teenager or a twenty-year-old to be juggling school and a job with no real sense of the outside world? Not to mention with everything on their shoulders that Elsa had to deal with in the years prior? It would be so easy to feel overwhelmed. It could take only the smallest ill-intended comment to break someone. And though it didn’t sound as if Elsa had been broken that day the way Maren saw for herself, there very well may have not been a difference. Back then, Elsa didn’t have her friends looking out for her the way they did now.

Unfortunately it didn’t change the fact that retail was absolutely an abusive field. It didn’t seem to matter when someone started or how long they were there for. The customers were primarily the same. Entitled. Impatient. Angry. Selfish. It was bad enough that Maren saw attitudes like that on a daily basis. But it was different for her, Nani, and Elsa. They were adults. Not that it implied they were much better at handling the stress – although Nani did put up a hell of a good front – but it wasn’t the same as yelling at a child. Seeing customers become so pissed at Snow or even Ella? It infuriated Maren. Knowing now that Elsa had not been immune to such attacks either made her even more so. What right did a customer have to yell at a sixteen-year-old; a nineteen-year-old; a young twenty-something who was merely doing their job? No one just beginning in the real world should have to neither defend themselves to such extents nor put themselves in those positions. Yet, today, there was a sixteen-year-old in Snow putting up with that every day. There was Ella, in her early twenty’s already juggling two abusive jobs and not even being able to put herself yet through school to work towards her dreams. Elsa had not been immune because she was Elsa. She had been affected just as much, and so shortly after having to take on so many more responsibilities than she asked for. She had been yelled at for simply trying to do her job because some guy was too…whatever the hell he was…to open his damn mouth and tell her a simple number. What did it matter that the limes touched the belt anyway? They could get washed when he returned home; it wasn’t rocket science. Yet somehow, in retail, the simplest concepts might as well have been.

But dwelling on that was not what Elsa needed. Nor did she likely want to see Maren become so passionate about defending her honor. It wasn’t just a so-called retail horror story. It wasn’t just one of her worst experiences in the field. It was something personal. As nervous as she was, she was still fighting through that trying to open up to Maren. Maren fought the urge to clench her hand into a fist. Anger was not the proper reaction in this moment. She vowed to do better, to at the very least try, for Elsa’s sake. Coming to terms that she had made mistakes in the past, Maren did not want to repeat them. She wanted to become a better person. Not just for Elsa or even for herself, because it was what everyone deserved from her. Too many times Maren repeated those words in her head – ‘it’s your fault.’ And too many times she believed it. She was not going to let Elsa do the same.

“So…. Panic attack?” Maren assumed. She kept her voice steady yet delicate. Elsa’s head snapped in her direction, eyes widening. “I mean…that’s what it was last time…. Right?” She recalled the way Elsa responded when they last conversed in the break room. When they had their talk. Maren could recall the exact moment when she saw Elsa slip. It was right after she called her Angel. The absent look in her face. The complete disconnect from reality. The shock at registering Maren’s voice. The fear in the discussion. The way in which she was just so…lost. She just seemed…gone. Like she hadn’t even been in the room with Maren anymore. Like neither of them even existed. Like she was just…drowning. Maren never wanted to see that look from her again.

But the truth was, that hadn’t been the first occurrence. That side was just as much a part of Elsa as her work ethic; her queenliness; her orientation; her compassion. It would not be the last time Maren saw that from Elsa. Yet the realization of that looked as though it embarrassed Elsa. Like it was something else for her to be ashamed of.

Elsa turned her head away once again, unable to respond with anything other than a simple nod.

“I don’t really know anything about them. I don’t know what the right things to do and say are,” Maren admitted. “But…. What happened? Were you ok? And what can I do to help next time?”

“This was why I didn’t want to say anything,” Elsa confessed quietly. “I don’t want that side of me to be known here. I have people counting on me. I can’t let that get to me again.”

“But you have people to count on, too,” Maren reminded her. “They’re not gonna think differently of you because you handle stress differently. If anything, it’d just make Nani more over-involved.”

Elsa glared at her from the corner of her eye.

Maren instantly realized her mistake. “Ok, you’re right. That’s a horrible idea. Never mention anything to Nani. Ever.”

The faintest possible “heh” managed to escape Elsa.

“Sorry. Guess I wasn’t exaggerating about not knowing the right thing to say,” Maren admitted.

“It’s not a universal thing. There’s no one right answer,” the blonde replied.

“So what’s the right answer for you?” she wondered.

“I guess….” Elsa paused. “Don’t…don’t treat it any different. You said…that you wouldn’t look at me different. So….”

“I won’t,” Maren answered the unspoken question. “I promise. It’s just a part of you. The way that punching things is a part of me. But I don’t think it does change anything. Or it makes you weak or anything like that. It just…. It means you’re more in tune with your emotions.”

To that, Elsa raised an eyebrow.

“Not saying the anxiety’s a good thing. It sounds like a real bitch,” Maren corrected. “But I do think….” She paused to twist her lips, wondering if she was even using the proper words. “I think it means you just feel everything strongly. You respond genuinely and just...let it all go. So that when something happens it just completely takes over. Maybe that’s a bad thing, but it doesn’t always have to be. The way you feel things and show you care…those are some of the best parts of you.” She took another pause, letting out a breath in defeat. “That didn’t come out right at all did it? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Elsa responded. A moment later, in a surprising turn to Maren, she felt Elsa’s hand loosely drape over her fingertips. She tried not to let it obviously show to Elsa how taken aback she was by it. Or how much her body was heating up at the sudden contact from her. “I know what you were trying to say. And I appreciate it.”

It was Maren’s turn to look away. She fought the blush that wanted so badly to cover her cheeks and she knew if she met Elsa’s eyes, her face would be drowning in red.

Silently taking a breath in Maren adjusted her hand, tilting it around so Elsa’s hand could fall lightly into it. The blonde didn’t seem to retract at all; her hand remained resting over Maren’s fingers, just slightly out of her full grip. Maren did her best to calm her racing heart, not wanting Elsa to catch on what the contact and understanding meant to her.

“So…. What can I do? I wanna be able to help next time if…or when…it happens again.”

She did mention she wasn’t sure of her wording at all, right?

The last thing she wanted to do was insult Elsa in any way.

“It sounds silly to say, remind me to breathe,” Elsa pursed her lips. “I try to do that but it’s not exactly effective. And it may be paramount, but it’s not the only solution. There’s…well, there’s another technique…. Anna uses an abridged one with me. It’s…. It involves the senses. Using each one to bring you back to reality. Five with the first, then four, and so on. Three has seemed to be enough for me…but it’s not always a guarantee. And I know I have to be better managing and recognizing them as well. Back then…. Not that I was out long that particular day…. But it did take a lot more effort to reel myself in.”

Maren willed herself to look at her supervisor. “So we’ll work on it together.”

Elsa picked her head up, meeting Maren at eye level.

“I’m in this with you, Elsa,” Maren promised.

“Are you sure it’s not too much baggage?” she asked. “Because I would understand if-”

Maren was not going to let her finish that statement. “None of you is baggage.” She squeezed Elsa’s hand, though a split second later realized it might have been too much, and lessened her grip as a result. “I promise that you are not baggage. I don’t want anything less than all of you, whatever that is. And if it takes a little while to get there? That’s ok, too. I’m here. And I’ll say it as many times as you need me to.” She then offered a lighthearted smile. “Besides, if you really wanna talk baggage, I’m pretty sure I’ve got that covered. You are talking to the girl with a fucked up love life and has no sense of anything she wants to do. I’ve got practically nothing to offer and nothing going for me.”

“That is not true,” she shook her head.

“It’s ok to agree with me. I mean I’m basically wasting my time and money on school right now. I’m a walking pause button with nothing going on in or for life so I’m resorting to spending my life in retail hell,” Maren replied.

“You make it sound like a punishment.”

“It kind of is, but that’s not what I meant.”

“I’m certain it is.”

“But…?”

“But there are worse things.”

“Heh. True that.”

Elsa furrowed her brows. There was a brief lull. “But…. You never do talk about school, do you?” she realized.

Maren shrugged. “Not much to talk about.”

Elsa’s brows tilted down with concern. “Is everything ok?”

“It’s nothing you need to worry about. I’m fine.”

“Do you want to talk about it at all?”

“It’s just baggage.”

“Your life is not baggage.”

“Heh. Using my tactics against me.”

“You have so much more to offer than you realize. You speak of yourself unapologetically, as if there is nothing wrong, but you are so quick to push everyone else up. You sound so comfortable with yourself, Maren, but when it comes to your life…. It just seems like that takes a back seat. I’m here, too, Maren. And if I’m not baggage then neither are you.”

Huh…. Was that really something Maren did so often? Not even just keep quiet about classes. She knew she was comfortable enough with herself as a person, and she liked to think she was pretty confident. Well...all things considered, anyway. But when it came to her actual life? What the hell she was doing with it? Did she really brush it off as much as Elsa did compliments? Maren considered Elsa’s words. Her life was not baggage. Even if she had no idea what the hell she was doing. Even if she felt so far behind. Especially after running into Attina.

Dammit.

Seeing an ex-lover opened up a much bigger can of worms than she anticipated.

It wasn’t just the release of so many years worth of pent-up self-deprecation.

It was one thing to see her brother going for the thing he loved; actually taking the steps to do the thing he wanted in life. But for so long he’d been the only consistent person in her life. Maren spent so much time wandering; supposedly ‘finding herself’ yet actually losing herself in her own little world that she never stopped to think what she really wanted out of life. Nor did she stop to realize that most people her age probably knew exactly what they wanted if they weren’t already doing it. Maybe that was also why she traveled the way that she did; if she didn’t commit to someone or something – be it a home or an actual career – there would be nothing to screw up.

Then again, this was Elsa she was talking to. Elsa wasn’t doing what she went to school for. She may have been full-time, yes, but she was still nowhere near where she expected to be in life. And even though retail may have seemed like a punishment, something so many people treated as a final resort or deemed ‘not a real job’, no one would fight that argument more than Elsa. She was the least judgmental person Maren ever met.

The brunette bit her tongue. “Promise you won’t look at me any different…?”

Elsa didn’t seem to give it a second thought. “I could never.”

No, of course she wouldn’t. If Maren could trust anyone it was Elsa.

“I don’t know what the hell I wanna do,” she confessed. “Classes are ending soon and I was supposed to have already declared a major so I could sign up for classes. I mean, I did sign up for a couple of online classes. I figured, with working and not knowing with the pandemic what everything’s for sure gonna look like in the fall, it made sense to just stick with online. Cut out the commute entirely and keep my set schedule here.”

“But…?” Elsa inquired carefully.

“But I don’t know if I should even keep that,” Maren sighed. “What’s the point of sticking with school if I don’t have a goal? Or just…something? I thought I had some ideas but…. Every time I look or even try to think about it, nothing really jumps out at me. Maybe I’m just not meant for more than retail.”

“You almost make it sound as though we are unnecessary,” she commented.

Maren narrowed her gaze. “You know that’s not true.”

Elsa shook her head. “What I’m saying is, before the pandemic I’ve heard the question so many times about if I’m in school or what I want to do with my life. Ideally, yes I would like to put my degree to use. Whether it is working in a firm, teaching in some way, or even freelancing. One day I do hope it will be possible to get back into the creative field. But now? Perhaps any time soon? That is not possible. And I’m ok with that because I know what I have here is steady and that I’m needed. But that doesn’t mean it’s a life sentence. Despite what some customers say, working here does not make us less than. It took me a long time to realize that on even the smallest level.”

“This is the first steady job I had,” Maren admitted. “I know it sounds kinda sad but…. Maybe that’s why I can’t picture myself doing anything else. Because this is all I know.”

“Or maybe the question requires rephrasing,” she suggested. “Is there anything you want in life?”

No, Maren was not going to be sappy and answer ‘you’.

As tempting as it was.

“There’s only one thing I know for sure. It’s kinda dumb, though,” she said.

“What is it?” Elsa asked.

“It’s not something to do, exactly. It’s…. I guess it’s more like a hope I’ve had for someday.” Maren pulled in her lips, unable to fight the color that appeared on her cheeks. “Snow actually wasn’t too far off…with her lie…. I wanna adopt someday. Or…I guess foster and then adopt. Ryder and I narrowly avoided the system. I don’t know where we’d be or what we would’ve done if Yelena didn’t take us in. We were lucky that someone in our family wanted us and could have us. But other kids…they’re not as lucky. And most people, they try everything possible to have their own kids. As if a genetic connection is some profound thing that makes all the difference. And a lot of people do that without even thinking; like a kid’s just something that happens. There’s no process or hard work put into it. They just…happen. But to foster and adopt you have to jump through all these hoops, go through all these tests and evaluations to prove you can handle anything…. It’s ironic, I know. Being fine with doing all that but not even wanting to sit through school to get a damn degree. But especially after being here…. Knowing what I went through, knowing you and Nani weren’t too far off with anything either, assuming and kinda knowing how hard everything is for Snow…. Hell, actually hearing her imply she’d rather have us be her foster moms than live with her uncles…. I just wanna be able to make a difference to someone. Give them the safety that Yelena gave me and Ryder.”

It felt so strange to say it all out loud. Maren had never openly admitted it to anyone, let alone implied thinking it. The truth was, though, it had been in the back of her mind for a long time. Deep down she always knew. Perhaps it was being at Oaken’s and building this dysfunctional family with her coworkers that ignited it. Going so far as to calling those people her family; wanting to do everything in her power to help and protect Snow; no, that solidified Maren’s desire. She knew it was what she wanted out of life. Even if she did nothing else worthwhile, she wanted that to be the one thing. Even if everything else fell apart, Maren wanted that to be the one right thing she did with her life.

But that was only a piece of life. How the hell did she imagine picturing her life? Where would she live? How would she be making money? What was she doing specifically with her life outside of a family?

A housewife Maren was not.

“There is absolutely nothing stupid about that in the least.”

Elsa’s airy voice and a squeeze from her hand took Maren back to reality.

The tenderness in her voice was like nothing Maren had heard before. Not to say Elsa hadn’t exhibited such a quality before, but there was something different about the way she said that. It didn’t make her heart race or cause Maren to feel like she was losing control. Instead, she felt her heart melting in the best possible way.

“Maren that is probably the most beautiful thing anyone could do,” Elsa complimented.

Maren bit her bottom lip. “It’s not the same as actually doing something, though. Not like it’ll pay bills or anything.”

“Have you considered looking into social work?” she inquired.

“I don’t think that’s gonna make a difference. A person can only do so much from the inside. It’s the system that sucks and screws everyone over. The difference I wanna make is on the actual kids, not the system. I wanna be there and be active in their lives,” Maren answered. “Maybe that’s wrong or selfish. Or like a cop out. But I don’t wanna be involved in that way.”

“There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way. There does not have to be a correlation,” Elsa said. “Sometimes people don’t even have to have a plan or do anything profound. Not everyone finds or even does what they’re meant to do. Even if it would be ideal for everyone to love what they do, sometimes a job is simply nothing more than a job.”

A way to put food on the table, keep a roof over my head, and pay the bills, Maren finished mentally, like I’m doing now.

“None of that sounds like baggage at all,” Elsa admitted, “it…it actually sounds like a dream.”

A dream, huh?

Now that was corny.

Maren allowed the faintest scoff to escape her. She moved her eyes to look at hers and Elsa’s hands, realizing they were still in each other’s grasp. Even more surprising was that Elsa was still squeezing hers. Suddenly warm wasn’t even the right word to describe Elsa’s touch. It was so much more than that. It was empowering. As if with a single touch, Maren had all the support, comfort, and faith she could ever ask for and more.

She silently reveled in the sensation, curling her hand just enough so her thumb could reach over Elsa’s hand and caress it. “How do you figure that?” she asked almost absentmindedly.

“Because I would have never dared to imagine such a thing,” the taller confessed. “I spent so much time questioning myself…doubting myself…. It was so difficult to consider the possibility of having a family, let alone having someone to share it with. For so long I accepted that my only family would be Anna. And that I would be fine with her and her family. That that would be enough. And maybe it still is. I just…. I figured I would always be on my own.”

It wasn’t difficult to fill in the blanks.

The way she brushed off compliment after compliment.

The crushed way she had come out to Maren.

The way she kept to herself, blocking anyone and anything out.

The lies she believed about herself.

The way she referred to herself as baggage.

Elsa didn’t think anyone would want her.

That she wasn’t worth anyone’s time.

That she was too much trouble.

That she wasn’t worth anything.

What blasphemy that was when it had taken Maren such a short amount of time to fall for her in the first place.

Maren dared to move her eyes. Slowly they moved from their connected hands up Elsa’s arm, across her shoulder, briefly taking in the edges of her platinum locks, stopping to admire the near invisible freckles that graced her cheeks, and finally connecting brown eyes with blue. Heart racing, Maren continued to push her luck by asking a delicate question. One that she would never be able to correctly guess the answer to on her own.

“And now…?”

A long pause followed.

Maren maintained eye contact, unable to look away from those gorgeous eyes. Even under the questionable light of the break room, she could swear they sparkled like the brightest sapphires. Elsa’s eyes seemed to dart slightly, as if they, too, were struggling to maintain contact. Maybe they did falter; for all Maren knew they could have looked just to the side of Maren’s cheek or at the bridge of her nose. Selfishly, Maren didn’t want her to look away entirely. But at the same time, she knew it was a vulnerable question. She wasn’t just asking if Elsa’s thoughts about herself changed. If she felt better about who she was or how she was. If she believed anything positive Maren or anyone else said about her. If she had become comfortable with herself on even the faintest level.

She was asking about _them_.

If, in the short time they had known each other and in the significantly less time they were…whatever they were…there was the slimmest possibility she could picture a future with Maren.

God, she really did fall for Elsa in the blink of an eye, didn’t she?

“I don’t know.”

Her response came as soft as possible, hardly any louder than a breath. But there wasn’t any hint of sadness or negativity in it. There was definitely an uncertainty to it, but above all it almost sounded…. Hopeful.

The speculation was all but confirmed with her next breath.

“But maybe it’s not so dangerous to dream.”

There went Maren’s heart again, melting into a warm puddle of goo and taking every feeling in her body with her. She wished she could convey how proud she was of Elsa for admitting that. Not even for just implying that maybe, just maybe, she could picture something fully with them. For simply admitting on any level that _something_ was a possibility. That she finally had enough belief to dare to imagine. Hell, that even for a second she dared to put the thought in her head. Maren wanted to do so much more than just sit there, staring at Elsa in awe and squeezing her hand. She wanted to do _so_ much more. And maybe for Elsa, having Maren simply embrace her hand with the force that she was; was more than enough. But she deserved so much more adoration than that.

No, Maren wouldn’t dare walk around the table, take Elsa in her arms and kiss her passionately.

As tempting as it was, it was too soon for that.

Elsa would let her know when she would be comfortable enough for Maren to come close to that.

She fully believed and accepted that.

But she could still do the next best thing.

She slid their arms across the table, delicately pulling their hands close to Maren. In one swift motion, she brought their hands in front of her and then lifted them. Maren twisted her hand just enough so Elsa’s faced Maren. It was nearing dangerously close to Maren’s face. Yet, before Maren continued her action, she kept her eyes on Elsa for confirmation. She studied her reaction carefully, giving her the chance to loosen her grip or even pulled back if she felt the need.

Shock was clearly written on Elsa’s face, however it wasn’t accompanied with any fear. If anything, it appeared to be due to the suddenness of Maren’s actions. She blinked and a soft gasp escaped her lips. Her hand remained in Maren’s. There was no trembling. It was…a look of awe. As if she couldn’t believe Maren was looking at her the way she was. Or that she wanted any part of Elsa so close to her.

No retraction.

No fear.

Just beautiful wide eyes and a blush that actually made her freckled cheeks noticeable.

With the silent confirmation, Maren gently brought Elsa’s hand to her lips and kissed it. She felt a flinch at the contact, yet it left as quickly as it came. Relaxation followed. Elsa was comfortable with Maren’s touch. She trusted her enough to let her kiss her hand. But perhaps the highest honor for Maren was that Elsa allowed the touch to linger. There was a sense of actual acceptance.

Just as slowly as Maren made her initial movements, she pulled Elsa’s hand away from her lips. And on her exhale Maren took the chance of asking the question that had been on her mind from the beginning.

“Will you go out with me?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok retail stories outta the way first. The tomatoes actually did happen, but that's not the retail horror story. That honor belongs to Elsa's. Obviously a few details were changed. It was in my first year at my store; it was a crazy weekend; and i did have to actually walk away from the register. The customer stuffed as many muffins in the bag as he could and, no matter how many times i asked, he just refused to answer how many were there. So when i went to open the bag and count them and they fell out, he got so. Fricking. PISSED. He did point angrily at me. He did yell at me that it was my fault. He did storm off to get new muffins and left me standing there in the middle of his order. i could barely tell my supervisor at customer service what happened cause i just felt like i screwed up so much. Over some damn muffins. Luckily my supervisor told me to go outside and take a few minutes and he'd take over my lane. And no, nothing happened - although the supervisor did admit later on the customer was definitely a b-tch when he came back - but i was also a lot more thin-skinned than i am now. And i'm still _really_ thin skinned. And while i'm so fortunate that i was trained to walk away if i was ever uncomfortable, it shouldn't have to come to that. No, i didn't have anything major going on in my life at that point. But look at what Elsa went through. If she were your cashier and you knew she dealt with family issues, anxiety, etc...would you be yelling at her? If you were able to go to a register with your friend or relative as a cashier would you yell at them? No. So why would you yell at anyone else? You don't know what anyone else is going through, really. None of us are immune to this crap no matter what kinda front we put up. And i don't think i need to tell any of you this but...please. Please don't scream at or put the blame on cashiers. Don't make us feel so damn incompetent over something so trivial.
> 
> The story though, was a good lead-in to the topic of mental health. It's a hard conversation. i still personally don't know how to have that even though my mental health also needs work. So, like Maren, i don't know the right things to say. But what we need to do, like Maren, is just try. No, maybe Maren didn't say the right things. what she said to Elsa likely won't work for someone else. But it also goes to show how much she accepts Elsa and how much she sees in her beyond every flaw Elsa can possibly give her. And maybe, just maybe, Elsa's starting to realize that, too. Because everything she throws at Maren, she always sees through to the best parts of Elsa and that's her warmth, heart, and compassion. It all ties into who Elsa is and, ultimately, the person Maren is head over hells for.
> 
> In writing this chapter and talking about Elsa's 'baggage' i also realized that Maren's school hasn't been too prominent in the story. She's barely talked about it or given any indication about her future. And i started realizing, 'oh wait there might be a reason for that...'. Originally i did intend to, at some point, have Maren admit she would declare social work her major and that she very much intends to foster and adopt one day. But for her to suddenly declare a major when she didn't really talk about it felt like it was out of left field. And that forced me to have Maren take a harder look at herself. Talking about the future is also a sensitive topic and, at this point, an uncertain one. And it's a conversation Elsamaren definitely needed to have. Maren's allowed to admit to her insecurities, too, and dream about a life she eventually wants regardless of how the world is now. They're allowed to talk about this. They're allowed to dream. And it helps Elsa realizes that _she_ is allowed to dream. And the reality, unfortunately, too, is that not everyone finds out what they're meant to do. Sometimes a job is just a job. And that's ok, too. There's other things you can do with your life. And it's the people in your life that matter the most.
> 
> Sidenote Maren's speech about adoption has given me ideas with little snippets of future Foster Moms Elsamaren and i've been debating how the hell to write that and what universe.... Like, originally it was gonna be a separate AU or maybe based off my Million Dreams oneshot but now i'm thinking...dare i make it a distant future of THIS? 
> 
> i wish i could go on with my thought process and ideas and reactions and the little moments - yes there had to be another hand kiss - and everything else but you guys also need a chance to breathe and revel in this. Because guys? Maren. Asked. Elsa. Out. IT. FINALLY. HAPPENED. YOU KNOW WHAT'S COMING SOON! Also this author note is already too long and i'm running outta space XD So thank you so much for waiting for this update, thank you as always for reading. i hope you enjoyed this chapter and i can't wait for you all to scream at me!


	39. Chapter 39

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long while, i know. There's been some stuff happening here between work and personal life, mostly in the form of family sorta-drama happening throughout the entirety of November. So between that and work alone it was very difficult for me to focus or even want to do much of anything. There was a lot of stress involved for me personally. On top of that, it was brought to my attention that my story could be interpreted in a very horrifying way. One that is not only is not what my story or the character is about at all and is something i do not and could never support at all, but is also something i never want associated with me or my work. i feel like i let a lot of people down as a result and i can't possibly say i'm sorry enough for that.
> 
> It's been kinda hard because of the craziness at work and the extra hours i worked prior to Thanksgiving so that alone took more energy away than usual. But to add on the family thing.... My head was absolutely not in this story. And i've been trying to put my head back in the story. Even though this particular chapter has mostly been done since September, the rewrites and the struggle to write Chapter 40, let alone questioning if i should even still write Chapter 40...it's hard to write something when my head and heart isn't in it. But i tried. And i did everything i could to, in whatever free time i had, to work on some SERIOUS rewrites. The majority of them take place in Chapters 32, 33, and 35 with a small section in 37. Any other edits throughout the story, typos aside, involve the addition/deletion/rewording of sentences for consistency. i will not ask anyone to go back and read anything if no one wants to.
> 
> The beginning author notes of each chapter with rewrites as well as some of the end ones reflect the changes made. i also attempted to go back and check for as many triggers as i could, which are primarily in the forms of homophobia, d-ath, and grief. So if there's anything at all i missed please give a friendly reminder for me to go back and remedy that.
> 
> For anyone who does not have the time, patience, or desire to go back i will share here what i've edited before you dive into this next-to-last chapter. Parts of the conversation between Attina and Maren have been tweaked in Chapter 32 as well as the majority of Maren and Nani's interaction in 33 (so basically almost that entire chapter was redone). The changes in 35 are primarily based off of Maren and Attina in 32, hoping to give a better understanding in narrative about the backstory. While these do not directly affect anything in this chapter, all you need to know specifically are two things. First off, as i dove into the rewrites i noticed that Maren appears to have her own self-confidence issues to work on and that she is, to a point, still affected by her so-called relationship with Attina. That was the primary change throughout the story as a whole, which was to add or changes to reflect those thoughts every once in a while throughout the chapters; just something here and there to show Maren does question things and, ultimately, herself. Because she believes so much she messed up with Attina so what are the odds she'll mess something else, up too? In this chapter, there is a section that, to an extent, revisits the thought of Attina, in the form of her having used a certain word on Maren. In 35, when Maren reveals that she had been called the f slur at one point, it was edited to reflect that not only was Attina the one who called her that, but she also referred to her as an experiment. So when the word 'experiment' is brought up later on, that's the connection and that's why it means something. 
> 
> Family things now here are less dramatic and better for now, but still stressful. Work is...well, it's retail so you guys know. And i'm doing better now than i was last month. So i promise, it's nothing you guys need to worry about. But i have to confess, as of right now i'm not entirely sure what all this means for this story and the future ideas i had for it. For those of you still reading, thank you so much for waiting so long for these final updates and thank you for having given the support and encouragement that you have. And i hope there's a chance you guys can accept my apology.

Elsa paced back and forth across the cash office. She fiddled with her hands in front of her; sliding her palms over each other, intertwining and undoing her fingers, clutching her hands in each other’s grasps, tapping them together…. She shouldn’t be this nervous, should she?

Of course not. There was no reason to be nervous at all. Why should she be nervous?

No. No nerves. This was Maren she was thinking about. She’d given her absolutely no reason to exhibit nerves before. And although they had gotten the better of Elsa before, she wasn’t going to let that continue.

Groaning, she stopped walking and threw her head back.

Why the hell was she so damn nervous?

Maybe because it was getting close. There was less than an hour left before her shift ended. Which meant less than an hour until….

_“Will you go out with me?”_

The question rang through Elsa’s head. It had been asked so softly. Not that Maren wasn’t soft or never spoke in such a manner before, but…. There was something about that question that just made Elsa’s body feel like jell-o.

_“Will you go out with me?”_

Her soft voice. Her soft expression. Her soft honey eyes. Her soft…. Everything.

Elsa looked down at her hands. She had one wrapped completely around the other and her fingers of the latter gripping onto her thumb. Her hold tightened as she thought back to the other night. Maren’s soft everything. Even the way she held onto Elsa’s hand. It felt like…. Like she was protected somehow. As if she were safe in Maren’s embrace. Completely accepted. Was Maren’s hand always that soft? Was touching someone supposed to make her feel so...warm?

Elsa slowly pulled her hands closer to her, still clutching onto each other, until they rested against her chest. She could practically feel her heart palpitating against them, the movement of her chest almost causing her hands to vibrate as a result. But her heart wasn’t racing. It wasn’t out of control. It was steady. Not quite relaxed but…. But somehow thinking about Maren…. She felt at ease. She felt that warmth. Even though Maren admitted to not being perfect and having her own grievances in general, she was trying so hard. Her soft look never faltering. Her smile never wavering. Her tone always shifting from teasing to gentle. Her hand always kept in front for Elsa to take. She….

She wanted Elsa.

It felt so surreal to think.

No, not even surreal; it was totally crazy.

It wasn’t even meant in some dirty or lustful way.

Someone wanted _Elsa_.

_Maren_ wanted Elsa.

_“Will you go out with me?”_

A date.

An actual date.

No, Elsa knew what a date was.

She eavesdropped on a number of Anna’s and Kristoff’s early on.

Though they still claimed she was chaperoning.

But…. But that was different. Those were their dates. This was a date…. For Elsa.

Her cheeks flushed. What would make a date with her different from one of Anna and Kristoff’s? Would she like dating? What did…? What would…?

“Yo Queenie, still in there?”

Elsa’s eyes widened, Nani’s voice forcing her back into reality. Elsa fought off a groan, unlocking her hands and moving one to slide her fingers through her hair. She was still on the clock. There were still throwbacks to put away. Which meant she was stuck with Nani for another forty-five minutes.

Dammit.

“What is it, Nani?” she asked, unlocking the door.

“Just trying to make sure these throwbacks get done tonight,” she answered.

Elsa pursed her lips. She took in the appearance of her coworker carefully. Strong stance; hand on her hip; straight face; signature smirk. Something was definitely up. “What the hell are you planning?”

“What? Can’t a girl make sure her work gets done tonight?” she questioned.

Elsa rolled her eyes and exited the cash office, walking past Nani and stepped to the Crap Corner. “I am not in the mood for your teasing tonight.”

“Who? Me? Never!” her coworker gasped dramatically.

Elsa paid her no mind and moved to one of the bins, beginning to remove its confines and place it in one of the empty wagons.

She could feel Nani smirking behind her. “So, thinking about your date tonight?”

“NANI!” Elsa yelled, spinning around.

She chuckled. “C’mon, Snow Queen, it’s not rocket science. We all know you guys got something going on now. I just wish you’d give us something to work with though, I made a bet with Ella that Maren would ask you out first and pandemic or no pandemic I’m getting a fucking new surfboard for the summer.”

Elsa narrowed her gaze. “You _still_ bet against me?”

“We been stuck in this shithole for how many years now. I think I know you well enough that you wouldn’t make a move even if you were bribed with chocolate. Just like I know how you’re so in your head right now,” she answered.

Elsa’s eyes widened. How did she…?

Nani made a knocking motion with her fist as if she’d be bonking Elsa on her head. “Wake up and smell the cleaning spray, Snow Queen. Maren’s crazy about you. We all know it. So whatever’s going on in your head, push it the hell outta there. No one thinks _this_ much about a date. Aye, it’s like you never been on one or something.”

To that, Elsa couldn’t fight the blush that drowned her face. She quickly turned her head, pulling her arms tight to her sides.

There was a pause.

“Wait, are you shitting me?” Nani blinked. “You never been on a date before?”

“Nani….” She groaned quietly. It was not a thing Elsa wanted to advertise. Hell, she never even wanted to advertise her attraction to begin with. Yet now, here were both on display for all to see. Or rather, for Nani to see. But sometimes it was no different from everyone knowing. She didn’t want to meet Nani’s questioning gaze as if to ask what the hell was wrong with her. Even though part of it was totally obvious. Elsa had been in the closet for so long; why would she have ever considered dating if she were so uncomfortable with herself? If she thought _everyone_ would be so uncomfortable with her? Of course, there was also her damn work ethic. When the hell has she ever had time to date when she was so busy working all the time? What woman in her mid twenties had never even been on a date? It sounded so fucking pathetic.

Even if Nani wouldn’t judge her – after all, she didn’t judge or out Elsa about her sexuality, so why would this be any different? – Elsa still couldn’t help but feel judged.

“Ok, just so you know I’m trying _really_ hard not to make a joke about your dating virginity right now,” Nani commented.

“Gee, thanks,” Elsa mumbled sarcastically.

That helped not at all.

Not to mention, it was a horrible joke. If it came from anyone but Nani it would have come access as insulting.

“Aye, Elsa you really gotta get outta your head now,” she complained. “It’s really not that big a deal.”

“Then will you stop treating it like one?” she groaned.

“I’m not the one drowning in self-doubt constantly questioning the obvious lovesick stare Maren gives you every time you bat your eyes,” Nani commented.

How the hell was Elsa supposed to argue with that?

Wait, what kind of look was Maren giving Elsa?

“My point is dating isn’t for everyone. It’s not some time line or profound rite of passage. You have any idea how many times I turned David down for a date before I finally said yes? It’s hard, Elsa. It’s fucking hard letting someone else into your world. And it’s even harder to let yourself be vulnerable to them. But if I can do it with David then it should be a piece of cake for you,” she continued. “Maren’s been lōlō over you since she met you. So just relax and let her treat you like a queen tonight, alright?”

How the hell did Nani do that? Go from teasing to almost understanding with the snap of her fingers? The woman was a pain in the ass, no doubt about that. She drove everyone absolutely crazy and never let an opportunity slip by to get under someone’s skin. But somehow she could also be incredibly supportive. She never actively let it out or made an effort to do it every day. But when Nani tried? When she actually listened? She was sincere. Was that what it was like to let the walls down? To actually let someone in? Had Elsa been doing that with Maren? Did Maren know Elsa wanted to do that for her?

“What do you know about tonight?” she asked hesitantly.

“Just the food that I saw her buying while you were locked in the cash office,” Nani smirked, “but I think you already know what to expect from her.”

Elsa pulled in her lips, trying and failing to hold back a small smile.

Chocolate, she imagined.

Nani gave Elsa the briefest nudge to her shoulder. “C’mon, Snow Queen. The sooner we get this done, the sooner you can get to your date. If we’re lucky maybe we can get you outta here at the five minute mark.”

She moved to help unload one of the bins into the wagon. Elsa followed suit, though the remainder of the night was pretty quiet between the two of them. They were successfully able to put back everything but some of the seasonal items that were typically kept at the head of the baby aisle. That, however, was no surprise; those were the items everyone avoided like the plague. Or, perhaps in this case, Covid-19. Elsa was able to clock out at ten fifty-five, exactly when Nani anticipated. As her coworker exited the store, Elsa made her way towards the back. Clutching the strap of her bag, she hesitantly entered the bathroom to tidy herself up. Her first date…. God, Anna would have a field day if she found out that’s what Elsa was doing tonight. Elsa set her bag on the bathroom floor and looked at herself in the mirror. She...she was getting ready for her first date. Maren was waiting for her. Maren wanted her. Why...why was that still so difficult for Elsa to believe?

But it wasn’t, was it? At least, not to everyone else. And the way Maren looked at her the other night…. Was it really true? Was Maren as crazy about her as Nani claimed? But what was so special about Elsa? Why her? Why not someone else? Someone who didn’t have so much baggage? Someone who couldn’t give everything? Someone who Maren would have to adapt so much to? Someone who was just so….

No, you’re not baggage, Elsa thought. That’s what Maren told you. You are not baggage. You are not a burden. She thinks you’re worth it. You are worth it.

Still it was so hard to believe those thoughts. To not allow the negativity to consume her and think about all the reasons she would be otherwise. 

No…. What did Maren ask you to tell her, Elsa thought?

Remind me to breathe, she realized.

So she took a deep breath in.

She exhaled.

She imagined a breathing pattern gif, attempting to move in sync with it.

Breathe in….

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Breathe out….

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

Breathe in….

She counted again.

Breathe out….

At the tail end of her exhale, she let out her melody.

_Ah ah oh oh_

It was quiet, though whether it was her hesitancy in doing so because she was still at Oaken’s or because in the back of her mind she knew it would echo through the bathroom, was unknown. 

But it helped. She felt herself fighting the negativity that threatened to consume her thoughts once again.

Breathe in….

Breathe out….

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

Once more.

Breathe in….

Breathe out….

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

Suddenly, she heard the door creek open. Holding in a gasp, Elsa pulled her arms into her chest and took a step back. She saw the door open slightly, but no one entered. Was…. Was it Maren? Was she still in the store? Did she hear her? Or worse...what if it was one of the stockers? Or someone making a delivery? Elsa bit her bottom lip, holding her breath in anticipation. Thankfully the door pushed open rather than pulled, so the wood was the perfect blockade between her and the mystery guest. 

Don’t come in, don’t come in, don’t come in… she thought.

Nothing changed. A footstep was heard; causing Elsa to worry someone would indeed enter and spot her. But, to her surprise, the door flew shut with a gentle breeze and the footsteps began to fade. Her mystery audience was leaving. 

Placing her palm to her chest, Elsa finally allowed herself to exhale. Oh god, that was so close.

She had tried to be so careful when she used her technique in the store. She tried to keep it at a safe distance so her coworkers would never hear. Perhaps when she was discarding damages in Receiving. Or when she knew she’d be alone. It was the closest anyone had come to catching her, save for when Maren overheard her the one time. That occasion had been a narrow escape, and likely for the best. Though Maren had tried to hide her disappointment, Elsa was certain Maren had been expecting something. Even if she was all right with Elsa’s anxiety on top of her sexuality…how crushed she would be if she found out something she was idolizing was nothing more than some attempted protection spell.

Don’t let them in. Don’t let them see.

Elsa was being honest with Maren the other night. She didn’t want any of her coworkers to know about her anxiety. Or how she dealt with it. Even if they wouldn’t look at or treat her differently, Elsa didn’t want to take that chance. Nor did she want to destroy the beautiful vision Maren conjured up for herself over the so-called voice. She could be strong for all of them.

Just like she was going to be strong and go on this date.

Ok then.

She could do this.

Elsa unbuttoned her work vest and rested it on the sink. She then opened her bag and removed a plastic one, which contained a simple sky blue button-down blouse. She placed the top over her arm and set the vest in the bag before proceeding to make the change from the plain black shirt underneath to the blouse. Once that was done, she discarded her mask into the bag as well and tied it. She would sanitize everything when she arrived home, naturally. Then, after washing her hands, there was the matter of her hair. Elsa examined herself in the mirror. She carefully undid the braid and then ran her fingers through her thick locks in an attempt to smooth them out. Elsa shook her head, waves of blonde floating in the air. She moved her hand up, gently pushing the one short loose piece a bit more to the side. Should she leave it down? Would Maren like that? Elsa gently clutched a fraction of her hair. She sighed and closed her eyes. No…. Elsa didn’t generally let her hair down. She wasn’t ready for that yet. So she opted to pull her hair back, but instead of her typical braid she shifted to a slightly uncommon ponytail. Did that…? That was ok, right? Or was it…? Elsa groaned and shook her head. No, that didn’t feel right, either. She may have still been at work but she wasn’t _at_ work. Ugh, was it supposed to be this frustrating?

Her phone vibrated. Elsa removed it from her bag and unlocked the screen.

_In the breakroom when youre ready_

Dots.

_I promise its only slightly more glamorous than it actually sounds_ 😛

Elsa couldn’t help but smile at Maren’s text. She didn’t stop to wonder when Maren came back inside. Not that it should have been a surprise; the exit door typically remained unlocked for the overnight crew who, to Elsa’s knowledge, generally arrived between midnight and one in the morning. Cleaning and stocking duty, she recalled. Maren could have easily gotten back in that way. Elsa had merely assumed they would have been eating outside, likely at the bench in front. But the break room, as disgusting as it typically was, sounded perfect. It was their spot, after all. And it was their routine.

Setting her phone down, Elsa made a decision. She took a few strands of hair from both sides of her head and pulled them back. She fiddled briefly with the amount between her fingers before putting her hair tie through and securing her hair into a half-ponytail. She washed her hands once more before picking up her bag. With a final nod, she left the bathroom and took the final few steps to the break room door. She took in a breath, unsure of what exactly to expect. But Maren was on the other side waiting for her; so whatever was planned Elsa was going to love it.

Or be very surprised by it.

There appeared to be chili pepper string lights dangling from the ceiling courtesy of scotch tape. Hanging above the table, which had a red cloth over it, was a yellow paper lantern that Elsa could only seem to compare to the sun. Attached to the wall behind the table were taco string lights, which, unlike the chili pepper ones, actually appeared to be lit up courtesy of the nearby outlet. As Elsa scanned the rest of the room she noticed that by each end of the table there was another yellow paper lantern sitting on the floor. Hanging from the closed door were string decorations that appeared to consist of cacti, sombreros, and peppers. On top of the cooler to the side was a sign shaped like a taco that read Taco Tuesday with a red sharpie that crossed out Tuesday and replaced it with Sunday in questionable handwriting. 

Somehow a Mexican thing was not what Elsa pictured.

She heard Maren chuckling; causing Elsa to take her eyes off the setting and actually look to her date.

As if it weren’t already strange enough to see the break room set up totally different, it felt even weirder to see Maren out of her uniform. Her dark hair was out of its usual braid and down, revealing just how thick and near curly it actually was. The only downside was that Elsa found herself so fixated on it that it almost took away from her honey glazed eyes. So much like Elsa’s drawing, Maren indeed seemed to gravitate towards earthy colors. Though the khaki’s were not a surprise courtesy of work, her green shirt and vest were definitely different. Maren hadn’t been kidding when she said she preferred flannel. But her vest was the perfect shade of green, almost as if it complimented the blue of Elsa’s blouse; like it could have been the grass to the sky.

Was this what Elsa had the privilege of looking forward to now?

“Yeah, I know, it’s a little out there,” the brunette admitted. “If I ever opened a restaurant it definitely wouldn’t be Mexican. But Party City had a shit ton of it so...I worked with what I got. I, I can always take them down if you prefer. It’s not a big deal. I just...well, we can’t exactly go out anywhere right now so…. I figured this was the next best thing. So….” She pulled in her lips and looked at Elsa hopefully. “Welcome to Honeycomb’s.”

“You did all this?” Elsa asked in surprise.

“It’s not much…. Just whatever I could get done in an hour. I wish I could’ve done more, though,” she admitted. “I was gonna try and make a banner to hang, but I could never make art the way you do. You’d be too busy laughing at my stick figures.”

“I could never,” Elsa shook her head.

“Heh,” Maren scoffed lightly, “you’ll change your mind when you actually see me try to draw.” Maren’s eyes turned away briefly before returning to Elsa. “I know this probably isn’t much compared to a real date. I would’ve definitely preferred to take you out somewhere and treat you. But this…. I just…”

When she seemed to fumble over her words, Elsa stepped forward and reached her hand out. “Maren.” Her voice was assertive yet soft. She couldn’t fight the smile that came across her face. So this was why Maren didn’t want it the night before. So she could have time to buy decorations and put it all together. She took the time to go to another store to look at everything, use her own money to buy everything, sneak it into Oaken’s while Elsa was in the cash office and put it all together…. Maybe it didn’t seem like much. Maybe it was still the same old messy break room it would always be. But it was for Elsa. Maren wanted to do all of it for Elsa. “This is absolutely incredible.”

A blush seemed to creep on Maren’s cheeks. She lifted her hand, letting it float under Elsa’s but leaving enough space for the blonde to decide if she’d like to close the gap. “May I take you to your seat?”

As if there were much of a choice. But Elsa decided to entertain her. She allowed her hand to flutter down into Maren’s and gave a nod. Maren took her around to the other side of the table and pulled out Elsa’s usual chair for her. Elsa responded with a soft “thank you” before sitting and placing her bag underneath the table. 

“I hope you’re hungry tonight. We got an appetizer, dinner, and dessert,” Maren said. “Oh...is water ok? I can run and get something else if there’s still a self scan open. But I wasn’t sure what you’d like and I figured we probably shouldn’t have any alcohol at work….”

“Water is fine. Thank you,” Elsa replied.

Maren walked over to the cooler. She removed a gallon bottle of water from the bottom shelf and then picked up a plastic bag that sat beside the appliance. She set the beverage on the table first and then removed the confines of the bag. She set two yellow plastic cups on the table, one in front of each of their seats, followed by a small pack of red plastic bowls. Elsa tilted her head, noticing something scribbled on the cups in red sharpie. At first glance they appeared to be hexagons...but upon closer inspection, Elsa recognized them as honeycombs. And there seemed to be little squiggles of shapes in between each one. The blonde couldn’t help but let out a giggle.

“Did you attempt to draw honeycomb-shaped tacos?”

Pause.

“Maybe…” Maren confessed in the form of a squeak. She pulled in her lips as she poured water for each of them. “I told you I was terrible at drawing.”

Maybe the design was a bit questionable. But that wasn’t the thing that mattered. It was that it was something extra. It was the little things that all added up together. Maren didn’t have to put in all of the effort she did. She didn’t have to buy all the decorations she did in an attempt to even faintly transform the break room into something else. She didn’t have to plan an actual meal for them to have at almost eleven-thirty at night. She didn’t have to attempt to doodle something on the cups as if to make them seem like they belonged to an actual restaurant. She didn’t have to go so far to give Elsa the full experience of taking her out somewhere. But she did. She was going above and beyond just for Elsa… What the hell did she do to deserve such treatment?

“I love it,” Elsa confessed.

Maren blushed. She brought the water back to the cooler and then returned with something else in her hand. She stood at her side of the table and then placed the item in the middle. It was one of the containers of pre-made salads, chicken Caesar to be exact.

“I know it’s not a lot…. But would you like to split the appetizer? Save room for dinner and dessert?” Maren wondered.

Elsa pulled in her lips. “What? No chocolate?” she couldn’t help but tease lightly.

“Actually…. This was the first thing I bought for you. Remember…?” Maren asked.

Elsa blinked. The first thing Maren bought for her…? She attempted to think back. When was…?

Oh!

Back when Elsa worked the double. It was right after Maren started. The day had been long and crazy. There was some back and forth between her and everyone else before she finally clocked out for her half. She bought nothing more than a box of m&m’s and then…. And then Maren showed up with a salad. To make sure she ate something more. To thank her for everything she did. For putting up with her as the new girl. It was so crazy to think that it had only been a month ago. That they had barely known each other then. And now?

Elsa couldn’t imagine not working with Maren.

Hell, she couldn’t even imagine her life without Maren.

“I do.”

“Do I have to bribe you this time?” the brunette couldn’t help but tease.

Elsa held back a chuckle. “Not a chance in hell.” She opened the container and then Maren handed her a plastic fork from the bag. Elsa wavered back and forth between hers and Maren’s bowls, attempting to divide the salad as evenly as possible. Once that was done she opened the ranch dressing and poured a little into her salad. She passed the remainder to Maren, feeling their fingers brush every so briefly against the tiny package. Elsa fought another blush and brought her eyes down to her salad as she began mixing it together. “Thank you…. For this.”

“The pleasure’s all mine,” Maren smiled. She mixed her own salad and was about to take the first forkful when she realized something. “Oh….” She reached up, brushing her hand against the jade beanie that sat atop her head. “I can take off my hat if you want. I’m not sure if it’s rude to wear it or not….”

“Not at all,” Elsa gasped. “Please don’t take it off on my account.”

“You sure?” Maren asked. “Yelena always told me to mind my manners and all that shit.”

“I don’t think there’s anything wrong with your manners.”

“Heh. You wanna tell her that yourself?”

“Ok now you’re starting to sound like Nani.”

“Why does everyone keep saying that??”

“You heard her every time a customer compliments her on her patience.”

“She has no patience! I actually try to be polite.”

“You say that as you are thinking of punching her?”

Pause.

“Maybe….”

Elsa let out a giggle. She had more than her fair share of banter before. Her banter with Kristoff was almost that of a pair of siblings. Her banter with Nani was strictly professional, something of two coworkers always getting under each other’s skin. But the banter with Maren? It was never annoying or draining. It was...natural. The way they just bounced and fed off of each other. Up to that point, the only one who could bring out a playful side to Elsa was Anna. And Bruni, of course. Before Maren, Elsa never felt herself gravitate towards anyone. It was almost as if she were in tune with someone. As if she actually fit in somewhere. _With_ someone.

“Is that why you wear a hat at work?” the blonde wondered, taking a bite of her salad. “Because you wear them all the time?”

“Actually…. Hats were kinda my dad’s thing,” Maren admitted. She set her fork into her bowl, staring at the contents absentmindedly. “He never went anywhere without a hat. Had one for every occasion, actually. He’d wear one in the morning on his way to work. He had a baseball cap he’d always wear to the eye doctor. He had a hat for special occasions. Ryder usually likes to wear hats a lot, too. But after my dad passed…. I started wearing them more. Ryder has most of our dad’s, but I keep a few for myself. They’re not really my style...a bunch of them are kinda goofy, actually. So I started buying my own. But they...they kinda make me feel closer to him. I don’t really remember him that well, so this way it’s kinda like I always have him with me.”

“They’re like a comfort item?” Elsa surmised.

“Guess you could say that, yeah,” she admitted.

“I get it…. I still have my mother’s favorite scarf,” Elsa confessed. “After Gale…. I know things with my parents were complicated. But Gale was still the best thing my mother ever gave me. And when I didn’t have her anymore, I turned to my mother’s scarf. I’d think back to when I’d have nightmares as a child and she’d wrap it around me while I slept. Maybe that’s why I started buying scarves. I sometimes use them in the winter even though the cold never really bothered me. They’re just…. A nice thing to have.”

“And how does Bruni feel about them?” Maren inquired with a little smirk.

“He kind of gets the same far off look in his eyes that he does with body lotion or hand sanitizer,” Elsa admitted. “But because he sees the actual scarf in front of him he becomes so transfixed on it. He just stares at it like he has no idea what the hell to do with it. Most cats would probably go after it like a large string. Bruni…he’s just so curious and full of wonder. It’s like anything and everything absolutely amazes him.”

“I can sorta see why, when he has you,” Maren complimented taking a sip of her water. “There’s no one a king admires more than his queen.”

Of course Maren would say such a thing. There she went again, putting Elsa on such a high pedestal. Not that she would deny that Maren was doing the same thing with Bruni, he absolutely deserved that praise. But for Elsa? Of course the compliments made her blush and she was unsure of how exactly to react. How could she, when she continued to not believe such words herself?

It was almost funny. Elsa was no longer thinking about her nerves. In fact, she nearly forgot why she was so high strung in the first place. But seeing all that Maren did for her…hearing everything she had to say about her…. It no longer made Elsa feel embarrassed or guilty. She didn’t question why such wonderful comments were thrown in her direction or what she could possibly be saying or doing to deserve such nice words. She was still unsure as how to respond but aside from that? It felt…. Good.

Huh.

How surreal.

It felt good.

_She_ felt good.

“Hey,” Maren said as she moved her near empty bowl to the side, “wanna listen to some music?”

Admittedly, it would be nice to hear something different from the same songs the PA system played on loop all damn day.

“Sure,” she agreed.

Maren removed her phone from her pocket and opened Spotify. “Any requests?”

“Whatever you put on will be fine.”

“It’s lady’s choice.”

“It’s your restaurant.”

“And as the owner, I insist.”

“Maren.”

She held out her phone to Elsa. “Seriously. Pick any playlist you want.”

She rolled her eyes but carefully took Maren’s phone in her hand and began skimming through the different lists. Maren’s phone was smaller than Elsa’s, a much better fit in Elsa’s hand than her current phone. It must have been one of the older models; phones were made so damn big now. Or maybe she just liked holding it because it was Maren’s.

Elsa pursed her lips. “Really?” she toyed. “A Pokémon soundtrack?”

“That’s Ryder’s,” she answered almost too quickly.

Elsa raised an eyebrow.

“It actually is. He’s the nerd.”

“Something I should know about with you? A gaming problem, perhaps?”

“Oh, the same way you have a cursing or drinking problem?”

“I am not the one who throws curses around on a daily basis.”

“Except in front of your fur baby.”

“Why does everyone keep insinuating that?”

“For the same reason everyone keeps thinking I’m turning into Nani.”

“Touché.”

“I downloaded it for the last trip we went on. It was last summer, a bit before school started up,” Maren explained. “I drove us to visit Yelena for a weekend and then we went camping for the week. It was a long drive so I had to create a shitload of playlists to keep us occupied and not jump down each other’s throat. Plus, it was either that or listen to him yell at his video game for like, twelve hours.”

“Have you done anything like that before?” Elsa wondered.

“Sometimes. But it wasn’t like we were in a position to actually go anywhere or spend a ton of money,” she admitted. “Ryder was going into his last semester of school and I was still trying to get back into the swing of actual school. So we had to put most of our money towards that. And we figured there probably wouldn’t be many chances after that for us to travel like we used to. It was something kinda just for the two of us.”

“Your sibling time?” Elsa summarized.

“Pretty much,” she shrugged.

“Anna and I do that all the time. We’d set up bowls of chocolate and popcorn and play movie after movie on Netflix or Disney+. She always convinces me to watch her movies, of course,” Elsa said.

“Rom coms?” Maren guessed.

Elsa sighed. “Every damn time.”

“And what would you rather watch?” Maren raised an eyebrow curiously.

Elsa tilted her lips. “Promise not to laugh?”

“Promise,” she agreed.

“I wouldn’t turn down a documentary or biopic. Or even a movie based off of or inspired by a true story,” Elsa answered.

“Not surprised,” Maren shrugged.

“Once in a while, maybe something sci fi,” she admitted.

“Nerd,” the brunette teased.

As if such a revelation should have come as a shock when Elsa admitted in the past to writing a song about chemistry.

Even if it was only for Anna’s benefit.

She pulled in her lips. “And…. I also like musicals…. I know it seems a bit silly, people bursting into song and dance from out of nowhere. But the music is always to indicate something greater. When there are no more words left to be said, there’s always music to express. I guess part of me used to hope that, when I ran out of words to explain myself, somehow the lyrics would come to me and they’d actually understand.”

Maren chuckled.

“You said you wouldn’t laugh,” the blonde pouted.

“I’m not laughing cause it’s funny. I’m laughing cause it’s cute,” Maren clarified between chuckles. “You’re so logical and level headed. And it’s ironic cause that’s so hopeful and idealistic.”

Elsa clicked one of the playlists before handing the phone back to Maren. She shrugged and took a few more bites of her salad. “Maybe that’s Anna rubbing off on me. She just has the most positive and hopeful view of the world. I wish I could have more of that.”

Maren scoffed. “Retail life, huh?”

“Exactly,” she nodded.

“Maybe this’ll make it better. Ready for the next course?” Maren asked.

Elsa nodded.

Maren stood out of her seat, taking the empty container as well as their bowls and throwing them in the trashcan in the corner. She then stepped back to the table and knelt down, digging something out from underneath.

“So you have a choice for dinner tonight,” Maren spoke. She stood up and revealed a box of cereal in each hand – Cocoa Puffs and Reese’s Puffs. She paused to smirk. “Or we could be totally wild and have both.”

Just when Elsa didn’t think Maren could pull anything else out of her ass, the brunette continued to surprise her. She could almost feel her heart rate beginning to pick up. It began fully registering just how much effort Maren put into this night. How much effort she put in for Elsa. Was this what it felt like…? Or rather…. Was this what everyone else felt…? When Elsa devoted so much time and energy to them? Was this…? Was this what it was like to be cared for?

Elsa could feel her fingers tingle in her lap. “I…I don’t know what to say,” she confessed quietly.

“You could say you want both,” Maren answered cheekily. “Don’t just say it because I do, though.”

“It’s not the cereal. It’s….” God, how could she even put it into words? Elsa bit her bottom lip. What was this sensation she was feeling? That was so…overwhelming?

No, don’t think about it. You’ll get nervous again, she thought. Not tonight. Not now.

Fighting the shivers desperate to crawl out of her body, Elsa stood out of her seat. She walked around to Maren, watching as the brunette placed the boxes down on the table. As Elsa approached closer, Maren turned her body to face her fully. Elsa halted a couple of paces in front of her. Or maybe it was less than that. It wasn’t closer than she had been before but…. But it still felt pretty damn close for comfort. She wanted to react…. To say something…. She just…. God, where to even start?

“It’s everything,” she breathed. “You… You did all this for me and…. And I didn’t even bring anything for you.”

“I’m the one who asked you out. I wanted to do all this. I wanted to treat you,” Maren promised. She opened her mouth again, as if she wanted to say more. Instead she closed it. It seemed as if there were so many more ‘I want’s’ that struggled to escape her. And everything single one of them was what she wanted for Elsa. None of it was for Maren’s benefit except…. Except to impress Elsa. As if she even needed to do such a thing. Elsa would have been impressed if all Maren did was open up a bag of chocolate for them to pig out on. But no, that would have never sufficed. That would have never been enough for what Maren wanted for Elsa, would it?

“I guess….” Maren shrugged her shoulder slightly. She squinched one of her eyes, looking way for a millisecond before meeting her blue pools once again. “I guess I just wanted to give you an amazing night.”

That was it?

_Just_ an amazing night?

Oh, Honey, that didn’t even begin to cover it!

“Maren you’re not giving me an amazing night,” Elsa shook her head.

Then, without a second thought, she reached past the empty space between them and took Maren’s hand in hers. There was the briefest implication of a flinch, though Elsa was unsure if it was on her side because of how little thought she put in before reacting or if it was Maren’s because she didn’t expect Elsa to willingly act so quickly. Their hands quickly relaxed in each other’s, but that wasn’t the end of it. Elsa was barely even thinking; she just felt her arm pull them closer. The two women remained standing in their same stances, but their hands seemed to be following a particular magnetic pull. Closer and closer their hands inched in towards Elsa until they moved up and hovered centimeters before the source of the pull – Elsa’s heart.

Finally, the gap closed between them. Elsa gently rested their hands against her chest, her grip loose yet secure around Maren’s hand. And instead of the normal caressing Maren seemed to be doing when she had the pleasure of holding Elsa’s hand, she was squeezing it. It almost felt like…. Like she didn’t want it to move. Like that was exactly where it was supposed to be.

Elsa willed her eyes to maintain contact with Maren’s, focusing intently on the sparkles of honey within them. Her mouth opened slightly, only barely showing her teeth, before closing. Was…was this even enough?

No.

No words would ever be enough to describe how Elsa was feeling in that moment.

But it was only the beginning.

“You’re giving me the _best_ night.”

She watched Maren’s eyes widen with wonder. Almost as if she couldn’t believe that was a thing Elsa just said to her. But with all that Maren did…all the thought she put into it…how could she think anything less? Even when Maren explained her process in the beginning…she made it seem as though it weren’t a big deal at all. As if she did nothing special. But the truth was, she did something incredible. So much so that Elsa could hardly come up with any more words to describe it. Nor could Elsa stop being so amazed by it. By Maren. That wasn’t to say Elsa had never been treated before. So many times Anna had gone above and beyond for Elsa. But this? This was different. It was…. Truly something out of a dream. A dream that was only bringing her closer to Maren.

Wait….

When _did_ Maren start getting closer to her?

Wait….

Was Maren leaning in…?

Was she about to…?

Elsa’s breath hitched and she suddenly felt her grip tighten on Maren’s hand.

What the hell was happening…?

Suddenly, as if Maren were reading Elsa’s thoughts, she stopped.

“Elsa you’re…. You’re shaking,” she realized.

Was she?

Maybe that explained the banging against her chest.

The space quickly increased between the two of them, Maren seeming to arch back to her previous stance. “Are…are you ok? Do you need to breathe?”

Oh fuck. Now Maren thought she had done something wrong somehow. All because Elsa couldn’t control her own damn body or emotions. What the hell was wrong with her?

No.

No.

That was a bad question.

She needed to stop asking herself that.

There wasn’t anything wrong with her.

She was nervous, and understandably so.

This…Maren…everything…was still so new to her. How else was she supposed to feel?

But at the same time….

It wasn’t the same kind of nerves Elsa constantly experienced.

This wasn’t the kind that sent her into a spiral of panic.

This didn’t feel like her being completely taken out of reality.

She didn’t feel out of control…not entirely, anyway.

It was….

A different kind of nerves, somehow.

Maybe she did need to breathe…. Who was she kidding? Of course she needed to breathe. She always needed to breathe; that was how living worked.

But…but not in that way. Not right now.

Suddenly she felt Maren’s hand loosen around hers. Inhaling quickly, Elsa’s fingers constricted Maren’s. No…. Don’t pull away. Stay there….

“I’m fine,” she squeaked.

That totally didn’t sound fine.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve…”

“I’m fine.”

“Elsa, I…”

“Maren. Please.”

She was fine.

She knew she was.

But….

But maybe Maren did have a point.

Elsa did say, remind her to breathe.

Maren was only doing what she asked because she was afraid.

Or…perhaps she was also nervous.

God, Elsa really was terrible at this.

Maybe breathing wouldn’t hurt after all.

Elsa’s lids slid down slowly and she allowed herself to take a deep breath in. She counted in her head before exhaling. She repeated.

All the while she felt Maren’s hand remain exactly where it was. She didn’t dare move it again. Nor did Elsa’s grip loosen. She…. She needed it there, somehow. It just…. It felt right.

With each inhale and exhale, Elsa felt their hands rise and fall with her chest. It relaxed her to know that Maren didn’t budge. She wondered if Maren was mimicking her process at all. If she was taking a few breaths as well. Or if her heart had been racing the way Elsa’s was.

But the focus was on breathing. Stay calm, she reminded herself, you’re fine.

It was some kind of high; that’s all it was. A high from the new experience. A high from her first date. A high from these moments with Maren. A high from…. From Maren. These weren’t the same nerves that tortured Elsa all those years. They were…ugh, what was the term Kristoff had used?

Normal people problems.

That was it.

Something actually normal.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

_Ah ah oh oh_

Breathe in.

And out.

_Ah ah oh oh oh_

A sense of relief overcame Elsa. Though that was pretty typical when she used her technique. There was something different about this occasion, though she couldn’t put her finger on it specifically. Maybe it was the first time outside of a panic attack? Maybe it was a reminder to breathe no matter what?

Ok, admittedly the latter should have been obvious.

For so long it had been Elsa’s portal back to reality. It was the final thing to ground her, the thing that she could focus on, and the thing that came specifically from her. It wasn’t the attempt to fixate on any of the senses; it wasn’t Anna’s voice or instructions. It brought control back to Elsa, the one semblance of it that she could always bring regardless. No matter what else was going on, no matter how many other things in her life were or had been out of her control, her breathing and specifically her voice were what she always had. It felt like she just had _something_.

But this time, when her eyes fluttered open, she saw an astounded Maren standing before her. Her jaw dropped, barely able to make a movement. Her shoulders were stiff, as if she’d been reduced to an ice sculpture. Her eyes were wide like never before, not only highlighting a perfect combination of brown and honey but also somehow almost sparkling underneath the lights.

Elsa gulped. For a split second she had actually forgotten that Maren was in the room with her. That they were on a date. No one other than Anna and Kristoff had heard Elsa’s melody before. Despite that Maren had briefly that one time, Elsa was able to deflect it. She managed to convince Maren it came from somewhere else. Someone overheard her earlier but by sheer luck Elsa had, too, been able to avoid them. But this time there was no escape.

She sang right in front of Maren.

“It’s you….”

Maren’s voice was barely above a whisper. In fact, for a brief moment Elsa was unsure if Maren even said anything. And in that same moment Elsa wanted to apologize. Not even an hour ago she was thinking about how she lied to Maren; that the voice she heard belonged to someone else; that she didn’t want to ruin Maren’s vision of it. But there were two things that prevented her from doing so.

The first was the look on Maren’s face. It was a look of wonder. Of marvel. Of awe. Of amazement.

Yes, those all meant the same things.

Yet somehow none of them felt like enough.

That look, it…. It looked like it transcended all of those words put together and more.

The second was when Maren began leaning in again. Elsa’s eyes widened and she could have sworn her heart stopped beating entirely for a moment. Or perhaps it was simply beating too fast to notice. Was Maren about to…?

Instead she rested her forehead against Elsa’s. Even though their eyes were so close that Elsa could clearly pick up on the sparkles of honey in them – the feature she wanted so desperately to focus on and get lost in forever – somehow Elsa could not entirely read Maren’s reaction. She…. She wanted to…. Didn’t she? To…. To kiss Elsa?

So many questions and so much time wondering…. What would it be like to actually kiss someone? How would it feel? How would _she_ feel? Would she like it? Or would she recoid the same way when someone tried to touch her? Would she get those butterflies that people clamed were real? Would she melt into the ground? Would she want more? Were all those questions finally going to have answers?

Elsa could feel Maren’s warm breath against her skin. She felt her eyelids begin to droop. They were so close. All they had to do was tilt their heads slightly…. Close that final gap…. Elsa’s breath felt caught in her throat. It had been such a change from a mere two minutes ago. She was so nervous she began shaking as if she were about to go into a panic attack. But now…. Was this…. Almost some kind of…. Excitement?

Elsa’s eyes closed completely. She waited for that final moment. For the last bridge to be crossed. She could almost feel Maren’s lips against hers.

Except she didn’t.

There was no more warm breath on her skin.

There wasn’t the strange sensation of nerves mixed with comfort.

There was no feel of Maren against her body save for the hand that Elsa continued to clutch.

There was just the lingering feeling of….

Wait…. What was that?

The space had increased between them yet Elsa still felt surrounded by Maren somehow.

Was was…?

Oh.

She had put her arm around Elsa.

It was so light as if it were hardly there. But there were the edges of Maren’s fingertips on her back, just above her hips. There was still that feeling of being consumed by Maren in the best possible way.

But then why didn’t….

“I’m sorry.”

The quiet apology came from Maren.

Elsa wasn’t even sure right away if she heard it; but that was definitely Maren’s voice.

She allowed herself to open her eyes fully and gaze at the incredible woman standing before her.

So many times Elsa believed that Maren’s eyes glowed like honey. But now?

Maren was illuminating like nothing Elsa had seen before.

God, she was beautiful.

“I just….”

Elsa blinked as Maren attempted to find her voice.

Why was she apologizing?

“I just loved that voice from the moment I heard it.”

Wait…

What…?

From the moment she heard it…?

What was…?

When was…?

How long…?

Elsa’s brows furrowed slightly. She couldn’t bring herself to verbally respond. Hell, she could barely muster a response outside of gripping Maren’s hand as tight as she could. Her nails must have been digging into the other woman’s skin at this point.

Maren sighed. “I…. I’ve been hearing that since I started here. I wanted to know…. And, and all this time…. It was you. W…why…?”

Why didn’t Elsa say anything?

“Because….” Her breath hitched as she started to speak. But what did she even have to lose now? Maren knew. It must have been so obvious. Yet somehow the shorter still appeared so confused. Had she always been this clueless? Elsa exhaled. “Because it’s not some magical thing. It’s not something special. I didn’t want you or anyone to hear it. It’s…. It’s just a calming method. When I’m alone and…and I feel nervous or, or scared, I…. I breathe. And I do that.”

Maren’s brows furrowed. This new information…seemed to be going over her head somehow. Elsa couldn’t quite describe it outside of Maren actually being clueless.

Not that she’d ever go so far as to actually use the term useless lesbian.

Or, in Maren’s case, perhaps useless bi.

Would that even suffice? Or was it exclusive?

Did each label have their own thing?

Elsa still had so much to learn about the community.

And about Maren.

And…about herself as well, she supposed.

“So…. So every time I heard that…. That was from you hiding? And…and panicking?” Maren asked.

“In lamest terms, I suppose,” the blonde confessed. “But I do that for a reason. I can’t let everyone else know. I…. I have to be strong. For them.”

She hoped that would be the end of it. That Maren wouldn’t pry and ask for specific instances. Though Elsa was sure it was easy enough to pick up on a few of them. Any of the shifts when she and Maren were both in the store and had a particularly annoying customer to deal with. God, there were so many of those Elsa couldn’t even keep track anymore. Or, most recently, the night of their talk.

In a twist Elsa did not expect, Maren only seemed to want to know about one particular occasion.

“So…. So earlier…. In the bathroom….”

Pause.

“That was you…?”

Elsa’s eyes widened slightly. So it had been Maren before. She was the one who almost caught Elsa. She was right there…. She heard her…. She was so close…. She wanted to know…. She could have….

But she didn’t.

She chose to walk away and leave the mysterious voice just as it was.

A mystery.

It was Elsa’s turn to be puzzled.

“But…. Why didn’t you…?”

Maren pulled in her lips and the faintest blush crept onto her cheeks. But somehow, despite the confusion; the nerves; the awkwardness; her eyes remained glued to Elsa’s. “Because…. I didn’t wanna know anymore,” she admitted. “I…I mean, yeah, it…. It’s probably the most beautiful thing I ever heard…. But…. But I didn’t wanna find out it was someone else. I didn’t wanna spend tonight with, with a voice…with a _person_ …I didn’t even know. This was your night. My night with you. And…. And I wasn’t gonna trade that for anything.”

She had a chance.

She had a chance to know for sure.

Even though it did turn out to be Elsa….

She didn’t take it.

She didn’t want to risk it.

Even when Elsa explained why she did it – albeit in the simplest way possible – Maren didn’t question it.

Her perception didn’t change.

She still thought it was beautiful.

She didn’t ask any questions.

Hell, she didn’t even acknowledge it.

Maybe that made it feel like a brush-off, but….

But maybe she also didn’t need to say anything.

Because all she needed to know was that it was Elsa.

That it was a _part_ of Elsa.

The how or why didn’t matter.

Her only focus – hell, her only _care_ – was about Elsa.

She said she loved the voice…. She had a chance…. But she gave it up. For Elsa.

Maren was saying all the right things, wasn’t she?

Oh….

She was saying all the right things.

But was that because she wanted to?

Because that’s what she was feeling?

Or was it because she felt she needed to?

Because she was trying so hard to….

This was about so much more than just trying to impress Elsa, wasn’t it?

She wasn’t just trying to do everything for Elsa’s sake, was she?

Elsa felt herself take a small step closer to Maren, the space between them decreasing once again. Elsa didn’t think it was close enough to make an actual move; but that was not her intention. She did, however, feel closer to Maren than she actually was. Perhaps it was the way that, when she moved, Maren’s grip around her waist tightened. Elsa’s hold on Maren’s hand was as tight as it could go, almost as if it felt like her hand was consuming it entirely. She was sure both of them could feel her heart pounding against her chest. And as much as Elsa wanted to look away, she forced herself to keep her eyes attached to Maren’s. She had to let her know what she was about to say was completely honest. That she was not going to run away this time. As Elsa opened her mouth to speak, her voice was as soft as ever yet there was also grit to it. Elsa may have been the one to never take a compliment, but if anything she ever said was going to get to Maren; if one statement could have stood out above all the rest; she wanted it to be this one.

“You are _not_ an experiment.”

She saw Maren’s eyes widen and her lip quiver briefly.

No, Elsa wasn’t crazy; that was absolutely a reason, wasn’t it?

Because it was what Attina said to Maren at one point.

_“And the things she said before you showed up…. Calling me an experiment…”_

Then, maybe a minute later, the way Maren actually admitted what she did.

_“She had every right to think I was an experiment to her.”_

For her to think that’s what she had been to anyone?

That was all she _could_ be to someone?

It was disturbing, to say the least.

But what was worse?

It was so fucking hurtful.

And it was so fucking wrong.

You don’t forget when someone tells you something like that.

Elsa knew that to be accurate; all too often she could still hear her mother’s voice when she tried coming out.

_“Let’s not give your father a reason to worry.”_

It was haunting to say the least.

When someone said something so negatively…. When they put you down so drastically…. Especially when it was someone you trusted or were so close to…. It hurt.

No…hurt wasn’t nearly strong enough.

It stung.

It stuck.

It was nagging.

It would forever be a lingering thought.

Elsa wasn’t going to lie; her father cursing her out and calling her a horrible slur was the lowest of the low. And yes, that was a voice that would very much continue to torment her.

But the voice of her mother had been worse. Because Elsa had been led on to believe that, on some level, she had been accepted. That she would be ok. But for Iduna to go and tell her that…. And then give her Gale as a…as a leash? Or, or some kind of bribe?

Oh, Gale had very much been an innocent animal. And Elsa had enough sense to separate her as an individual from Iduna. They weren’t the same.

But it was still the action. It was still the intention. And so many times, the separation was not in full. Because with one thought came the other.

Perhaps it was a bit extreme to compare Elsa’s experience to Maren’s. Family and exes were not one in the same. They were different for everyone. Yet the emotional connection was the same. Thinking you could trust that person so much, open up so deeply to them and feel so connected to them…. Only to be betrayed.

How could Elsa have so easily come out to anyone after that? After being rejected by not one but both of her parents?

So by the same token if Attina had been Maren’s first real relationship, her first feelings, her first… _everything_ …with someone then….

Then how could Maren not compare it to everything after?

How could that fear not be hanging in the back of her head?

Whatever happened…however that ended…. It didn’t matter.

This was not the same.

This was not _going_ to be the same.

All Maren had admitted to doing was trying to give Elsa the best possible experience, to make this good for her.

However much of that was true and however much of it was influenced by that comment…that…that _word_ …. It didn’t matter.

Maren could do anything and everything she wanted for Elsa. But Elsa would be damned if she wasn’t going to give Maren the same in return.

No…. She was going to give her _more_ than that. Because the absolute last thing Maren could ever be was some experiment.

“Maybe…maybe part of this is an experiment,” Elsa reluctantly confessed. “The…the dating. The…. All of this. Because I haven’t done it before. I don’t know the things to say or do. I don’t know what I’m doing. I just know I want to get it right. And I can’t without trying. Without….”

She really hated using that word now.

So much so that she couldn’t will herself to say it again.

It felt almost as bad as the f word.

As if she were somehow insulting Maren.

Even if that wasn’t the case at all.

But to use any other word? That also didn’t feel right.

Not even to say explore instead.

What would she be exploring with Maren? Her attraction? Her feelings? She already did that.

Ok, fine, maybe she was still doing that on some level.

But to explore or navigate dating? No, that…that wasn’t right, either.

Elsa exhaled sharply and shut her eyes. Everyone claimed she was so damn eloquent and yet she couldn’t get the right explanation out without feeling like she was degrading Maren.

“What I’m trying to say is…. This is trial and error for me, Maren. Doing these things…. Being this close to someone…. Thinking these things…. It’s all new for me. I don’t know what I’m comfortable with. Or what works for me. I…. I don’t even know if I’ll be like this next time. Maybe I will or maybe I’d rather sit on the other side of the room…. I don’t know. And I…I can’t figure that out without….” No. Not that word. She shook her head. “I need to figure it out for me. For us. But….”

She opened her eyes and glanced down. Her hand was still gripping onto Maren’s, keeping it in place on her chest. Maren had not since tried to break loose. Was it because Elsa’s hold was too strong? Too…clingy? But at the same time….

Why did she need to hold on like that? Why was she so desperate to keep Maren’s hand there? To not let go? If Maren wanted to move; if she wanted to leave; she would have already. Or at least tried harder. But there she stayed. She was still trying. Sure, she was still making a few mistakes along the way. Perhaps that was Maren’s way of experimenting as well. Outside of Elsa’s verbal consent, how was Maren going to know when she pushed too far unless she acted? Concealing was not within her nature; nor should Elsa expect her to wait for an answer every damn time.

But that was also how Elsa was going to figure things out, wasn’t she? Because she couldn’t be in complete control of everything. Because it wasn’t just about her anymore. Because she had to learn to let her guard down more often. She said she trusted Maren; and though that was very much true on the job, she had to prove it outside of Oaken’s as well. She had to prove it to _them_.

Elsa allowed her hold on Maren to finally relax. She kept her hand where it was, and there Maren’s hand remained as well. She didn’t even adjust its position; she let Elsa do with it as she pleased. And what Elsa desired to do was just hold it. Keep it close to her. She found her thumb sliding up and down Maren’s skin; caressing her hand in the same way Maren had began doing when she held Elsa’s. So this was what it felt like. Smooth. Stable. Comforting.

When she opened her mouth to speak again, her usual delicate tone swallowed any lingering grit completely. “But the way I feel about you…. The way I feel when you’re around…. When we’re together…. _You_ …. None of that is a question mark. That’s not an experiment. And I would give anything to take that feeling away from you. There is nothing you ever need to say or do to convince me to like you. The feeling’s already there. It _has_ already been there. It’s….” She felt a blush rise to her cheeks. She was briefly taken back to her declaration; the explanation she had given to Attina as to what it was about Maren. Or, more accurately, when. That had not been a lie, much as Elsa tried to make it seem like a damn convincing one. “It’s been there since we became Snow’s sisters. But I didn’t have the words, the courage, or the acceptance to admit it. I’m still working on all of that. I don’t know when, or even if, I’ll fully get there. But all of that? It was never a rouse. You _are_ amazing. You _do_ mean something. I like you, Honey. A lot. And I want this.”

No.

That wasn’t enough.

‘I want this.’

That couldn’t possibly embody all of Elsa’s feelings.

Because what was ‘this’?

No. It was so much more than just ‘this’.

With another exhale, she allowed her gaze to drift fully into Maren’s sweet, honey, if not still slightly clueless, warm eyes.

“I want _us_.”

It was the first time Elsa admitted it out loud with so much sincerity. Hell, it was the first time she said it to Maren without fear of her reaction or judgment.

Actually…that wasn’t completely right.

It wasn’t just the first time she said it to Maren.

It was the first time she said it to Honey.

_Her_ Honey.

And just like that, Maren’s arm wrapped fully around Elsa’s waist. The blonde felt her body press lightly against Maren’s and her chin resting on Maren’s shoulder. Maren’s head tilted, part of it leaning against Elsa’s. She could even feel some of Maren’s hair against her cheeks. Her hair was _thick_! But that was probably what made it feel so damn enticing. And what was…? What was that faint scent that accompanied it? Definitely a Bath and Body Works thing…. It was familiar but a little different…. Lavender? Lavender mixed with something…?

Oh.

Lavender honey…?

When the hell did she get that and where could Elsa get a case?

It may not have been chocolate and it definitely wasn’t sprinkle donut, but it may very well have quickly become Elsa’s third favorite scent.

“Oh…” Maren’s hold around Elsa loosened. “Sorry…I should’ve asked first….”

“Don’t,” Elsa said simply.

Maybe she’d feel differently next time.

Maybe some days she’d regress to doing nothing more than booping Maren’s finger.

Maybe some days she’d just want to hold her hand.

But right now? In this moment?

She felt at peace.

She felt at home.

She felt warm.

She felt protected.

Though, Maren’s biceps certainly played their part in that.

Huh…Maren really did have muscles under those layers.

Maybe she’d actually have to watch her flex next time.

Maren kept her hold around Elsa light, but nodded her head against hers. “I just want you to be comfortable.”

“I already am,” Elsa promised. Even if she had a different way of showing it. But a better understanding of that would come with time. Wasn’t it Maren who said that’s what compromises were for? There would certainly be a number of those down the road. Though Elsa’s concerns for that were all but evaporating out of existence.

She just hoped they were for Maren as well.

“And I never want to make you feel as though you’re less than. Because you could never be,” she said softly. “So…if I promise to be better at communicating and opening up…. Will you promise to let me know, too?”

Maren’s no-brainer response should not have come as a surprise.

“You could never.”

There was a short-lived pause, as Elsa thought ever so briefly she’d have to rebut.

“But yes. I promise, Elsa.”

Her response came just as gentle as Elsa’s had. Somehow though, it wasn’t quite the same. Not that it felt less than or emptier. Just…. Odd. Something about it didn’t feel right.

And it didn’t take long for the blonde to realize why.

“Angel.”

Elsa’s voice flittered on the air in a way that felt like if a leaf blew through, it would snap through the reply entirely.

Maybe Maren didn’t even hear it at first, as a brief silence followed.

And when it did come, it was in a painfully clueless tone.

“What…?”

Elsa didn’t need to think twice before answering. It was perhaps one of the simplest comments she had to have given all night.

“Call me Angel.”

Maren pulled back, her arm remaining around Elsa’s waist but the distance between the two of them being minimal. Though Elsa was a bit disappointed the hug didn’t last longer, she couldn’t help but think how adorable Maren was when she was so puzzled. The way her head tilted; the way one eyebrow raised so it disappeared under her bangs almost completely; the slight tilt of her full lips; the pure blank stare in those honey colored eyes.

“Are…. Are you sure? It’s just…. Last time I thought….”

“I was.”

“I didn’t mean for it to bring anything up. I don’t want that to trigger anything for you, Elsa. That’s not what it’s meant to do. But…but just because I see it as one thing…. I’m not gonna use it if it makes you feel that way.”

Triggered felt like too strong a word. Then again, what else happened when Elsa was sent into a panic attack?

Ok…admittedly in that moment it had been a bit of a trigger.

Though it was more accurate the day of her parents.

But Maren had been so careful ever since. Save for one instance, she didn’t use the name unprompted. She made a promise with that name and she kept it.

No, Elsa still didn’t fully understand why Maren continued to look at her that way. How Elsa could deserve such a beautiful name. But….

But that was just it.

It was her name.

It was the name Maren gave her.

Just like how Elsa called her Honey.

Hell, it might as well have been no different from Nani calling her Snow Queen.

Even back then, when Snow Queen first came about, Elsa had grievances about it. It felt…chastising, in a way. Still, almost too quickly it became a part of her identity. And now it was a name Nani used on a near daily basis. Hell, simply being referred to as a queen in any sense almost felt like a typical evening shift at Oaken’s.

Angel had been different. It wasn’t started with any particular intent. Certainly not to become a thing. It was…an accident.

Until it wasn’t.

Because intentional or not, Maren kept using it.

Hell, Elsa signed a note to Maren with the name Angel.

It was….

It was a part of her.

A part of her that made Maren’s eyes light up.

A part of her that, when it left Maren’s lips, sounded so beautiful.

A part of her that came from Maren.

Maren, who she liked so fucking much and couldn’t imagine not having her around.

Elsa could feel conflicted about herself and about her sexuality all she wanted. She would likely always have to work on that on some level.

But what she no longer had to feel conflicted about were her feelings for Maren.

Rejecting Angel might as well have been the equivalent of rejecting Honey.

Elsa had no intention of going without that any longer.

“Maybe just the one day,” she confessed. For one day, for however long that may be, Elsa could go without hearing that name. She would rather not hear that name. But for the rest? For the other three hundred sixty-four days of the year? For however many of those days she would spend with Maren? She wanted to hear that name.

No.

She _needed_ to hear that name.

She’d gone too long already without hearing it.

Never again.

“But my name is Angel.”

And just like that she saw Maren instantly relax. There was a light about the woman that Elsa had not seen before. Or, perhaps a light that never seemed brighter. It wasn’t just like a weight had been lifted. It wasn’t Maren being happy in the simplest possible way. It was….

It was nothing short of pure bliss.

Like something out of a dream.

It didn’t matter the two of them were standing in silence staring at each other.

It didn’t matter they weren’t doing anything more than holding the other’s hand.

It didn’t matter that neither of them were making any other movements.

It was just the two of them in a moment of complete euphoria.

No longer were there any secrets between them.

No longer was there any hiding or questioning.

There was no living in fear.

There were no horrible customers to deal with.

There was no major crisis in the world.

Everything was out on the table.

Their lives…their feelings…their names….

It was absolutely perfect.

What Elsa would have given to make that feeling…that _moment_ …last forever.

“I have something else for you.”

Maren spoke softly, but the on her face exuded pure delight.

“Close your eyes.”

Elsa raised an eyebrow.

“You’ll like it, I promise.”

As if Elsa had a reason to doubt her.

And, for once, there was no ringing in her ear.

She was able to hear Maren loud and clear.

And undoubtedly believe her.

So Elsa allowed her lids to slide down. After a moment, Maren turned her to the side – roughly ninety degrees, Elsa surmised, but that was the so-called nerd in her talking – and then gave her hand a squeeze. Elsa’s shoulder slumped when Maren let her go, but she could tell the woman wasn’t too far. There was some shuffling in the background…she was probably grabbing a bag…moving something out of it…there was shaking or jingling or something…. Then the motion repeated. What…what was Maren doing? Taking out multiple things…? From multiple bags…? What…?

Light footsteps indicated Maren was returning to Elsa side. She felt the shorter woman’s fingers brush gently against her arm. The sensation caused Elsa to react instantly, swinging her arm from against her chest to her side so her hand could quickly locate Maren’s once again. Elsa let out a sigh of contentment when she felt Maren’s fingers loosely clasp around hers.

Oh, she was absolutely not going to consistently want this much physical contact in one night.

But for now, Elsa couldn’t imagine it any other way.

She was going to milk it for all it was worth.

“Ok, you can look now,” Maren said.

Elsa’s eyes fluttered open. She was facing the table again, but the cereal boxes had quickly been discarded. Instead, in their place sat multiple bags of m&m’s. Plain; peanut; peanut butter; crispy; dark chocolate; dark chocolate with peanuts – where the hell did she find those?; almond; minis; caramel; and the newly discovered fudge brownie. They were spread across the table, almost covering the width of it completely. None of them were opened; they were freshly purchased within the last day, or more believably, hour.

All for Elsa.

For their date.

Letting out a quiet gasp, Elsa couldn’t stop her free hand from flying up to cover her mouth in complete shock. “Wha…? What the…?”

Oh how close she came to swearing that same second!

“I thought maybe we should skip straight to dessert,” Maren confessed. “I…I wanted to make tonight as perfect as I could. So…. I tried to get as many as I could find.”

Though Elsa’s eyes were understandably glued to the variety of m&m’s in front of her, she could very much feel Maren’s gaze on her.

Oh Honey….

If only she knew that the m&m’s were not the thing that made tonight perfect!

“So….”

She could already feel the warmth of Maren’s cocked smile.

“What do you think? You like it, Angel?”

Like?

Like didn’t begin to cover even a fraction of it.

If only Elsa knew exactly why she felt like she was melting.

Maybe it was the feast of chocolate presented before her.

Maybe it was Maren’s adorable smile.

Maybe it was the way Maren’s eyes sparkled like fresh honey.

Or maybe, when Elsa turned to face her date, it was a look of hope combined with warmth and acceptance.

And it wasn’t just that it was such a sweet look on Maren.

It was a look that Elsa never could have imagined would be flashed in her direction.

Nor could she have imagined what a high she’d experience in seeing such a stare.

Knowing that someone was staring at _her_ that way.

Realizing that not only was she allowed to feel so strongly and comfortable about someone or that those feelings could simply be reciprocated, but that they could be so tenfold.

That nearly and every fear, concern, or question Elsa once had could disappear in the blink of an eye.

Whether they would ultimately return or not would forever remain a question.

But for tonight?

At long last, they were the furthest things from Elsa’s mind.

And she could only find herself inclined to respond one way; a way in which Elsa had almost been unsure she was capable of.

Because, for once, she was not going to let her fears get to her.

“Fuck it,” she breathed almost inaudibly.

Then, in one swift motion, she let go of Maren’s hand.

Placed her hands on Maren’s cheeks.

And finally kissed her.

It wasn’t long; it was just enough time to hear something of a gasp before Elsa pulled away. All too quickly Elsa was prepared to spout out an apology. It had been nothing more than a spur of the moment decision – albeit something she had absolutely wanted to do. Still, that gave her no right to act on it. If Maren was so careful with Elsa’s space then Elsa should do the same in return.

But it remained a moot point. Maren almost immediately leaned in. She didn’t make full contact; she left just enough space for Elsa to decide to close the gap.

And she took it.

It felt kind of like going under water for the first time. Not just because it felt as though her breath was caught in her throat but…. Somehow it was that kind of moment. As if it didn’t happen then, it would never happen.

She had no idea how long that particular moment lasted. It could have been just that – a moment. Or it could have been an hour. She just knew she felt completely caught up in it. As if she didn’t want it to end. She couldn’t help but smile against Maren’s lips.

Huh.

How strange.

She couldn’t stop smiling.

She felt her body relax in Maren’s arms. For once she didn’t feel anxious at all. She didn’t feel scared of herself or the people around her. She didn’t feel overwhelmed or overrun by her work. Nor the world that had been created courtesy of her work. She felt a little less terrified of getting close to people. She wasn’t as worried about what anyone would think of her. She just felt….

She felt happy.

She felt like she was home.

She actually felt essential.

The person to help make all of that feel possible was right in front of her.

And there was no way in hell she was ever going to let Maren forget that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is typically the part where i over explain well...everything...that went into writing the chapter. But instead i decided to take your comments on them for what they are, better or worse. And i will only focus on a couple of aspects here.
> 
> i wanted to wrap up as much in here as i could. Some callbacks to earlier chapters, maybe some lingering thoughts or things to clear up.... Ultimately, the goal with this chapter was to allow Elsa and Maren to have this equal and solid ground so they could start their relationship. And admittedly, yes, both of them still have some issues to work out. As i mentioned in the beginning note, i learned in rewriting that Maren does have some underlying self-esteem issues. We already knew that Elsa has those, in addition to still learning to accept herself. The two of them being together isn't an automatic fix for any of that; it's not meant to be. It's a starting point. And they're things they both want to work on. But it doesn't mean they have to do it alone. It may be the end of the slow burn specifically, but it's also the start of something more for them. There's more for them to explore and learn and grow. They can do it separately but they can also do it together.
> 
> Originally the chapter was going to end with the kiss. There wasn't any narrative after that. The reason for the change is because for some time, i thought that this was going to be the last chapter. i wasn't sure if i had it in me to actually put Chapter 40 together. But the more i thought about it, the more i realized that this _can't_ be where the story ends. This started in Maren's POV and she had just as much growth as Elsa did. It's their story. And Elsa isn't the only one who's realizing that she actually is essential. But i'll let you guys decide if that was the right choice, to add the extra narrative, or if it would have been better to just end it with the kiss. Because if i learned anything from writing this story, it almost doesn't matter what i say because you guys mostly prove me wrong anyway. (And i say that in the best possible way.) And i will also leave it up to you guys if you want to look at this as the actual end of the story and 40 as more of an epilogue or if that actually is a nice ending. But i will give you guys the heads up - i know i jokingly promised at one point that Maren would be singing the Maren You Idiot Song (a nice reference to Gravity Falls as well as the running gag) but that is not going to happen. After discovering the self-confidence issues about her, not only did it feel wrong to poke fun at her with the song, but i've also felt conflicted with having gone along with the running gag in the first place. i have made notes during previous chapters along with the edits in commenting that Maren You Idiot is nothing more than a gag that we all had fun with and that we love Maren so it was never and is still not said with any ill intent and it's been more teasing than anything. But to include her singing that after all this felt wrong to me somehow. So what i will now do instead - yes i am apologizing multiple times to a fictional character as well and i'm still apologizing to her but that's besides the point - is offer you all the lyrics that would have been sung and let your imaginations run with it. Because i know, all things considered, it's something you all have enjoyed and i did sorta kinda promise it anyway.
> 
> The Clean Version: My name is Maren and I was dumb / So I'm singing the Maren You Idiot Song / I shouldn't have pushed my luck / Now here's my dance that totally sucks
> 
> The Actual Version: My name is Maren and I was dumb / So I'm singing the Maren You Idiot Song / I shouldn't have pushed my luck / Now here's my dance to show I don't give a f-ck


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it. We finally reached the end.
> 
> i will admit that, for a little bit, i wasn't entirely sure i was even going to post this chapter. There was so much struggling with this before everything happened last month. But this story started in Maren's POV and it only made sense to end in Maren's POV. There were also some things i wanted to include before ending this story and i wanted to at least try to end it on a more believable note.
> 
> That all being said, i do know i promised you guys a sequel of sorts. And part of me very much wants to keep that promise. There are a lot more ideas i have, more i want to explore, and more retail horror stories i wanna share. But with everything that happened last month i've been very back and forth with deciding whether or not i should continue. i do have a holiday oneshot in this universe half written as well, as kind of a bridge between what would be the two stories, and i'm not even sure if i should even finish that. If i do, it's definitely not gonna be before the end of the year. But i can't write something that i don't believe in. My head isn't in the story now; i've forced it in. And that can change, i know all it could take is some inspiration or comments or random ideas and i'll be back in. But i especially can't write something if my heart isn't in it. Admittedly, i put a lot more of me than i originally thought into this story. And i think that's where part of my struggle is, because i've taken and made things so personal. So it's that much harder. i have enjoyed writing so much for all of you and i want to keep doing that. But as far as this universe goes? Maybe it's just a matter of timing. Maybe i need to wait a little more before fully diving back in. Maybe i need to write something else first (not that i don't have ideas, i do, they're just. Long. Butt. Ideas.). For right now though? It's not the right time. And i really hope the right time does come, that i can put myself back into this, and actually feel good about it. i want to do that for you guys. And, selfishly, i kinda wanna do it for me, too. But i don't wanna get you excited or put your hopes up on the chance it doesn't play out.
> 
> There will be no over explained dragged out novel at the end of this chapter over the contents of the chapter. Just a [long] personal message and a final thank you to everyone.
> 
> Thank you guys so much for taking this ride with me and for devoting as much time, effort, and support as you have. And, all things considered, i really hope you enjoy this final chapter [along with the random Disney easter eggs sprinkled in].

“The strawberries are supposed to be buy one get one. Why aren’t they coming off?”

“The coupon’s expired? Oh, take the item off then. I don’t want it.”

“Stop! That’s not right! The sign said they were $1.99!”

“Do you have any paper towels? This belt is disgusting.”

“Don’t make my bags too heavy. And double everything.”

“Wait, how much am I at? I can’t go over $200! I need to take some stuff off!”

“Why isn’t my card going through? It keeps saying chip malfunction!”

“I’m not gonna get charged twice, am I??”

It was the same song and dance that Maren found herself expecting every shift. She’d clock in; sign onto a register; call over the next customer; scan their items; hear their complaints; listen to their life stories; explain how the sales worked; explain how a credit card worked; and wish them a good evening. Not only did Maren find herself growing accustomed to this routine, but also she began anticipating it every shift. It appeared as though this was what her life was going to look like for quite some time to come.

But oddly enough?

She didn’t care.

Maybe it was because she finally felt like a weight was lifted off of her. There wasn’t the occasional fear of screwing up. There wasn’t a voice of self-doubt nearly as much. And if it was there, it certainly wasn’t because of work. Retail wasn’t perfect. It was difficult, stressful, and just plain abusive to say the least. If it were an easy job anyone would do it. But it took a lot to commit to the field. And Maren had dealt with enough frustrating customers to now realize that if any errors were made, it wasn’t her fault. Yes, Maren was going to screw up something once in a while; maybe she’d lose her temper or misread something. But most of the time? It was the customers looking for a pity prize. They wanted something free; they wanted a bigger sale; they wanted to guilt trip the workers into giving them something; they were pissed they didn’t get their way; they were even more pissed when they were being told they were wrong. But now that Maren’s probationary period was officially over, she was a full-fledged member of Oaken’s. And she knew her coworkers had her back. She was working there for a reason. She kept getting hours or getting called in when she wasn’t on the schedule because she was wanted and needed there. Maren knew what she was doing. She knew it and her coworkers knew it. That was what mattered. That was why she was going to be ok.

Maybe it was that she finally felt at peace where she was in life. After completing the semester, she made the decision to drop out of school altogether. She had no intention of signing up for another at any time in the near future nor was she considering taking any adult ed classes in the interim. There was no point when she had no idea what she wanted to do career-wise. There was no rule that said she _had_ to have a degree. What was the point if there was nothing that was specifically calling out to her? If there was nothing she was passionate about? Whether one day she’d return and attempt to earn her Associate’s Degree if nothing else, Maren had no idea. For the time being, it was not on her radar. The pandemic was showing no signs of slowing down. Even if she was only part-time, it was best that Maren put her time, attention, and focus into something she knew. She knew retail. And she knew she was needed. That was what mattered. If she could handle retail _and_ working in a pandemic, she would be all right.

Or maybe she was simply on a high from Elsa. Although some time had passed since their first date, little had changed between the two of them. They continued to coordinate their breaks. They exchanged occasional looks or witty banter. Elsa sent Maren videos of Bruni. Maren kept her contact minimal and, when accepted, light. They were still in the process of learning about each other. And, understandably so, they needed to take everything slow. Maren promised to follow Elsa’s lead and she had every intention of keeping her word on that. Elsa was still learning to fully accept herself and Maren was her first…well…anything. Maren, meanwhile, still had some growing of her own to do. She had to learn to accept herself, though in a very different way from Elsa. But if Elsa could accept Maren; open herself up to her; feel comfortable enough to maintain any form of physical contact with her, then how bad could Maren really be?

How different this was from Maren’s first so-called relationship!

“Next to register five!”

She was greeted by a rather chipper woman and two cartfuls of groceries.

“Oh wow…. You got your work cut out for you today,” Maren blinked.

The woman chuckled. “Oh yeah, shopping for the entire family will do that to you! I’ve been quarantining with _everybody_!” As she finished unloading the top of the first wagon, she pulled out a pie of reusable bags. “Pack ‘em as heavy as you like! I have a _ton_ of help at home!”

“Oh…. I’m actually not allowed to use any bags that aren’t the store’s,” Maren admitted. “But if there’s anything you want in plastic I can do that.”

“I’ve got about ten packs of meat buried at the bottom. Keep those and the delicates separate and you got a deal,” she waved her finger.

“How long will those last?” Maren inquired.

“Well between my brothers, husband, son, cousins, aunts and uncles, father-in-law…. Not long. I’ll be lucky if there’s even any leftovers to sneak to my pet frogs,” she laughed.

Wait….

Did she say pet frogs?

As in, multiple frogs?

Maybe Maren shouldn’t ask.

“So when you said ‘everybody’…” she started.

“I meant _everybody_!” the customer laughed.

“Wow. I can barely handle quarantining with my twin. And he’s a big baby when I don’t bring home his dino nuggets,” Maren commented.

“My thirteen-year-old’s the same way,” she mused. “Fortunately, I got a secret. Ugh…where’d I put it…?” She began digging through the bottom of the first cart, flinging her groceries onto the belt. Fortunately nothing breakable or that hit Maren directly. Although a bag of frozen peas came a bit close. This woman sure had a strong hook! What Maren wouldn’t give for one of those! “Ah, here we go!” The customer beamed proudly and showed off her item.

Maren stopped scanning and her eyes widened at the treat. “Is that edible cookie dough?”

“Works like a charm every time,” the woman winked. She tossed it onto the belt and continued unloading. “And let me tell you, my mother-in-law bakes a _ton_ of cookies. And it’s not just cookies if you know what I mean. She bakes those _cookies_.”

That was probably one image Maren did not need to imagine.

Still, she would gladly take a peppy, oversharing customer over one of the nasty, whining ones.

“But everyone always tries to get their hands on some leftover cookie dough. She always ends up with less to bake that way,” she continued. “So, Mom gets the baking supplies and everyone else gets the edible cookie dough. Not like it matters what I get, though. Everyone complains sooner or later there isn’t enough food in the house.”

“My brother would fit right in. You can have him if you want,” Maren offered.

“Tempting, but I think I’ll manage with what I have.” She emptied the last few items from her first cart before pushing it forward. While she did that and Maren began to pack the meat, she took notice of a pack of water underneath.

“Anything under the wagons?” she asked.

“Oh, plenty of things,” the woman nodded. “Is it ok if I scan them after I’m done loading? I’ve got water, soda, and a huge ass bag of dog food.”

“You have a dog, too?” Maren asked.

“Ha! I wish,” she laughed. “My husband needs it for some theory he’s working on. I learned to stop asking questions ages ago. Fortunately for him, he had enough sense to learn when to listen to me when I saw something isn’t going to work. Take it from me, find yourself someone who’ll believe that even when you’re wrong, you’re right.”

Not that Maren believed she had to worry about any of that when it came to Elsa.

Or that Maren should want to be right about everything anyway.

The two continued a pleasant conversation, something that was certainly out of the norm but not unwelcome. From Maren’s limited experience, not only were most customers bitches, but the ones with the largest orders were always the ones hoarding. They were the ones who were paranoid, overwhelmed, and expected as much for free as they could possibly get. There was not an argument or feeling of doubt from this woman. She didn’t even put up a fight when Maren said she needed to scan each individual pack of soda – inventory check was a pain in the ass. As soon as Maren said she needed each pack that was different, the lady lifted one at a time without a problem. She was a karate and music teacher, Maren learned. No wonder the woman was so agile and strong!

Once the order was eventually packed in its entirety and bags were placed back into the wagon, the customer loosened her body as if to get pumped for a fight. “Ok, I’m ready. Give it to me, what’s my damage?”

“Are you sure you wanna know? It’s pretty bad,” Maren bit her lip.

“I’m ready, I can handle it,” she nodded.

“It’s almost at six hundred,” Maren admitted.

“Woooo I am _good_!” she cheered. “Kept it under a thousand, that’s what I’m talking about!”

Maren decided not to question her. As long as she didn’t get angry at Maren, that was all she cared about.

“I think I’m gonna put it on my credit card tonight,” she decided.

“That would be how you get outta here,” Maren commented. She added jokingly, “Or you can not pay and stay here after we close to fight my manager for a chance to take everything for free.”

“Tempting, but I should probably get back home. That house would fall apart without me.” She removed her credit card from her wallet and stuck it into the pin pad, only to be interrupted by a honking sound. Fortunately she caught on fairly quickly that it was nothing more than a chip malfunction; after running her finger over the chip she reinserted it with no issues. “Thanks for your help tonight. Really appreciate it.”

“Any time. I’ll be here all week,” Maren nodded. She handed the receipt to the woman. “Do you need any help bringing the wagons to the car?”

“Nah, I got it. This is how I work out now,” she grinned. At least, Maren hoped that was a grin under the mask. “Oh! But if you could tell me where the manager is that’d be great.”

The manager?

Oh shit.

What did Maren do?

She thought they had pleasant conversations.

There were no arguments.

There were no comments about the sales.

What the hell could Maren have done wrong?

Did she pack something wrong?

Did something happen to the eggs?

Was the customer offended by something she said?

Oh shit oh shit oh shit.

“She…she’s probably in the back,” Maren managed to answer as calmly as she could. “If you wait at customer service she’ll probably be out in a few.”

“Awesome. Thanks a mil!” she replied. Pushing one wagon by the handlebar and pulling the other, the customer approached the service desk. Maren, meanwhile, waited anxiously. She replayed the interaction over and over again in her head. What the hell could she have done wrong for Elsa needing to get involved?

Luckily the wait was not too long. It couldn’t have been more than a minute later that Elsa emerged from the cash office. All too quickly, the woman greeted her in the same chipper way she had Maren.

“Oh! Excuse me!”

Blinking, Elsa turned to face the slender figure. “May I help you?”

The customer pointed in Maren’s direction and, as soon as she noticed the dark eyes glancing at her, she saw them brighten with delight. Maren held in a breath as the customer explained to Elsa, “I just wanted to tell you that she’s amazing. She’s doing such a great job. If she came out to help with these wagons I probably would’ve taken her home with me.”

Maren’s eyes widened and her face heated up.

Was….

Was a customer actually complimenting her?

Within earshot?

Looking like she was smiling under the mask?

Saying such wonderful things about Maren?

Hell, going so far as to saying that would adopt her based on one interaction?

Holy shit what was this feeling??

Elsa immediately relaxed and responded to the woman’s kind words. “She absolutely is, thank you so much. I’ll be sure to relay the message to my boss.”

The customer thanked Elsa once more and bid them a good night before taking her groceries and exiting the store. Maren felt her heart racing in a way she never had before. Since she started working at Oaken’s, there had primarily been horrible customer after horrible customer. No, not all of them had been terrors; and there were some that were simply polite for the sake of being polite. But not once in her few months as a cashier had Maren not only heard someone so lively but also speak in such an uplifting manner about Maren. And to add icing on the cake, Elsa was agreeing with her. It wasn’t that it was a surprise; but this was also Elsa in boss mode. There was just something about that that was so…. Surreal.

“I didn’t realize you gravitated towards older women.”

Maren blinked. “Wha…. What…?”

Elsa approached her register and shrugged her shoulders. “I had to say something to snap you out of it. You just…you look so surprised.”

“I…. I mean…it’s just…. Well that was….”

Could her brain be any mushier?

“I…. I, uh….”

Could she get any more than one syllable out at a time?

“Uh…. Uh….”

Hard no.

_“Casanova please return to earth. We’re closing at eight. Once again, Casanova please return to earth so we can close at eight.”_

Maren blinked.

That got her attention.

“NANI!” she exclaimed with a red face.

Was that really necessary?

Her coworker merely shrugged as she stepped away from the phone at the desk, returning to her mark at self scan. “What? Someone had to do it.”

Maren groaned in exasperation. Though, as adorable as it was, it didn’t help that Elsa was visibly attempting to hide her giggles. Maren pulled in her lips and, through the blurred vision that was her tomato face, she narrowed her gaze at Elsa. “You’re not helping.”

“I’m sorry,” Elsa apologized in between giggles. “I’ll buy you dinner for our break.”

“You’re so gonna get it later,” Maren mumbled.

“Ah, someone’s gonna get it,” Nani repeated teasingly. She leaned her side against the nearest self scan, folding her arms and wiggling her eyebrows at her coworkers.

“Nani! Not like that!” Maren gasped. Dammit, now Elsa’s face was going to be a tomato, too!

“Hey, whatever you all do, teasing is teasing,” Nani shrugged without a second thought. “Just cause you keep it PG doesn’t mean I have to.”

“Nani!” Elsa groaned. She threw her head back in frustration before turning to Maren. “I am so sorry about…. Her.”

Of course Elsa would find a way to apologize about something she had absolutely no control over. But then again, it was Nani. If there was anything else Maren had been able to pick up on during her time at Oaken’s, it was to expect anything from Nani.

Sheepishly, she shrugged her shoulders and averted her gaze for a moment before willing herself to meet Elsa’s. “I like PG.”

Almost instinctively, Elsa’s arms wrapped around herself and she moved her eyes away from Maren’s. “You are just trying to butter me up.”

Pause.

“And maybe get a little extra chocolate…” Maren confessed.

Was Elsa blushing now?

“You’re impossible.”

Another pause.

Unable to resist the silence any longer, Elsa allowed her eyes to shift back in Maren’s general direction. “So…. Eight-thirty, then?”

Maren would happily take that.

“It’s a break date.”

“Please don’t call it that.”

“What do you want me to call it then?”

“It’s just…. If we’re going to keep having these dates-”

“ElsaElsaElsaElsaElsa!”

A cheery, singsong voice interrupted the blonde. And while Elsa turned her head in the direction of the entrance to see who it was, Maren’s eyes widened. If they were going to keep having dates?

Did that mean Elsa wanted to keep dating?

Obviously she did, they both admitted to liking each other.

But Elsa also said she never did date before…she just made it seem kind of open-ended the last time.

Unless Maren was just misreading her?

Had it just been Elsa’s nerves talking instead?

Did Elsa wanting to continue to go on dates with Maren imply she wanted something more?

Or at least, start to consider it?

Maybe even start to consider the possibility of them becoming….

“Elsaaaaa guess who can come visit you at work again because her mask _finally_ came in the mail!” Anna cheered, skipping over. “Look, it’s got chocolate on it! And it fits perfect! Cause I keep seeing all these masks with different sizes and I wasn’t exactly sure how they would fit or if I should get an adult mask or a teen mask, I mean I could totally fit into a teen mask, right, cause Kristoff says I have such a baby face, I don’t have a baby face do I, because I’m sure I don’t but anyway that’s not the point, I’m totally gonna order another one but maybe from a different shop online, maybe one with some puppies or Joan of Arc, or at least something inspired by her…. Oooooo do you think I should order a pride one, I think I should totally order a pride one, I could do a bi one for Kristoff, I can use a rainbow one because come on, it’s a rainbow, rainbows are for literally _everyone_ , I can order a pride mask for you, too, but you don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to, I’ll totally wear it for you, would you prefer the ace one or the lesbian one or is there some sort of combination of them? Actually, there’s like five different lesbian flags aren’t there, which one is better, is it the one with the red or the one with the orange, I think there’s also one with the purple so maybe I should see if anyone sells that one-“

“Anna will you please take a breath!” Elsa gasped, placing her hands on her sister’s shoulders. She exhaled deeply. “I’m getting exhausted just listening to you.”

“Awww, you missed me so much!” the redhead squealed in delight before wrapping her arms around Elsa in a hug.

Elsa paused.

She blinked. “Yes, but I’m on the clock,” she muttered in one breath.

“UGH!” Anna complained, throwing her arms back. “You are so damn professional! Is there even anyone in the store to comment on anything?”

Elsa shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. On the clock means on the clock.”

“Really? I thought it meant la den gå,” Anna commented sarcastically.

“That doesn’t even make any sense,” she narrowed her gaze.

“Ok, does she always give you a hard time, too?” Anna asked Maren.

“Anna,” Elsa groaned before Maren could respond.

“I just wanna know if you give Maren special treatment cause she’s your girlfriend. I think that’s a totally fair question.”

“ANNA!” Elsa exclaimed.

Maren’s eyes widened and she could have sworn that, once again, her face was drowning in red.

G…g…girlfriend?

Her and Elsa…?

As in….

Right now?

Not that Maren would have had any issue with it!

Of course she’d love to call Elsa her girlfriend.

She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t already thinking about it.

But could they….

Would she want to….

Was it too….

Oh shit.

Before Maren could even think about opening her mouth to speak, Elsa shook her head.

“I’m taking my break, Nani watch the front,” she said in one breath.

“Elsa…” Anna started.

The taller quickly moved away from the group, punching her numbers into the time clock before moving towards the back of the store.

“Aw, our little baby gay’s growing up so fast,” Nani teased. “It seems like just yesterday she was locking herself in the cash office. Now she’s just hiding in the break room like the rest of us.”

Anna’s look softened. “Do you think I pushed her too much?”

Nani gave the younger a light nudge. “Hey, c’mon. Elsa’s a big girl. She’ll get over it. Look, this kinda stuff happens all the time.”

“I don’t know…” Anna replied. “I should go apologize.”

“Girl, please, if I had a dime for every time I thought I should apologize to Lilo over the smallest thing I wouldn’t have to be here this much,” Nani commented.

To that, Anna raised an eyebrow.

Nani waved her arm. “Pfft don’t worry, I usually apologize.”

“It’s just that, this is such a big deal to her-” Anna started.

“Trust me, it’d be a hell of a lot worse if we actually had hidden cameras in here.” Nani replied.

“Oh, yeah, but thing with Elsa is….” Anna’s voice faded. She blinked and raised an eyebrow curiously in her friend’s direction. “Wait…you don’t have hidden cameras in here?”

She scoffed. “If we did I would’ve submitted hidden videos to a network ages ago. We’d have gotten our own reality trash show in no time.”

“Doesn’t one of those already exist?”

“Nope, never heard of one.”

“Are you sure?”

“Hey if you wouldn’t wanna be in it with us-”

“Are you kidding? I’d be watching it every week!”

“Girl, you wouldn’t be watching it, you’d be _living_ it with us.”

“Do you really think so?”

“Hell yeah. Ugh, you’re about as oblivious as Elsa. People would be fangirling every time you come to bug us.”

“Ok but what about you with your punch lines and snappy comebacks?”

“Duh, kinda obvious isn’t it?”

“Oooooo we could call it, The Real Retailers of New Jersey!”

“Anna. We’re not in New Jersey.”

“Huh…. But it sounds so catchy.”

“I wouldn’t put Stitch on a show with some lōlō name like that.”

“Ok but I’m not hearing that _you_ wouldn’t be on a show like that.”

In any other instance Maren would have laughed at the back and forth between Anna and Nani. Hell, she would have happily joined in on the joke. But she couldn’t get Elsa out of her head. The way she responded to the word ‘girlfriend’ it was almost as if….

As if it were a bad thing.

As if she were ashamed somehow.

But why?

Was it because of Elsa’s own insecurities?

Because this was still so new to her?

Or was it because of Maren?

She shook her head. She couldn’t stand there wondering. She had to find out. She had to go after Elsa. Let her know everything was ok. She just…. She had to do something.

Not needing another second to think, Maren shut her light off. She exited her small corner of Oaken’s that was register five and walked up to the one-way. Briefly she glanced in the direction of the entrance. There didn’t appear to be anyone waiting on the line. And even so, Ella and Snow’s lights were still on. If there was anyone in the store they were likely on one of the ends or towards the back. There was maybe fifteen minutes left before they closed for the night; and if they really needed Maren back up front, they’d page her.

Exhaling, Maren ducked under the caution tape and made her way towards the back of the store. She noticed all of one customer pass her by from the corner of her eye. She faintly overheard them ask her a question and she gave them a half-assed answer, her mind obviously not focused on her job at the moment. She continued her way towards the back, rounded the corner past the bathrooms, and stopped at the door to the break room. Taking a deep breath, she cautiously poked her head inside. The door opened with a creek and there, in her typical spot, was Elsa. She leaned forward, her elbows on the table, head tilted down, and her fingers laced through her blonde locks. Maren entered quietly, not wanting to throw Elsa off guard. She gave her another minute before clearing her throat softly. She saw the blonde twitch, but otherwise didn’t respond. If she let out the faintest grunt it was a lot.

“Hey….” Maren greeted quietly.

She thought she heard a sigh, as if Elsa had been caught somehow. Maren held her breath in realization. Was it really shame that Elsa felt after all?

“I’m so sorry.”

Of course those would be the first words out of Elsa’s mouth.

Shaking her head, Maren took her place across the table from Elsa. “You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“Yes I do,” she sighed. “Anna…Nani…my reaction…. They…. I…. I’m sorry.”

Maren hated seeing Elsa like this. But, at the same time, she couldn’t force anything out of her. Nor was she going to.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” she offered.

“I don’t know,” she confessed softly.

Maren gave a nod. She pulled in her lips, considering her next move. Her eyes moved to the side and then back towards Elsa. Her fingers tapped against the table lightly before she raised her hands to remove her disposable mask. She then set a hand on the table again, sliding it across the surface towards Elsa. She let it stop just before reaching her. When Elsa was ready, she’d see that Maren would be here waiting for her. Just like she’d always be.

“For the record,” Maren offered, “it’s just a word. It doesn’t have to….” What was a good way to word it? To assure Elsa that, as much as Maren did one day hope to hear that word – to actually _be_ that word – it was really ok? “You don’t have to use it now. Or soon. Or…or ever, if you really don’t want to. It’s just a word. There’s plenty of others you could use. And if you never wanted to…. That’s ok, too.”

A pause ensued.

Whether it was Elsa considering Maren’s explanation; she was choosing her own words carefully; or she simply was unsure what to say; Maren had no idea.

Still, the woman couldn’t help but hold her breath in anticipation. It was definitely too soon to have this conversation. Anna must have not known anything about it if she brought it up in the first place. And even if that weren’t the case, there was no way either of them could have anticipated Elsa’s reaction.

“She just….” Elsa’s voice came out a bit strained at first, as if she really was unsure how to respond. Or maybe it was also the nerves talking. “She said it so…. Simply. Like it should be obvious. But…. But I guess I just….” She sighed and took a moment before continuing softly. “I guess I just pushed the thought out of my head for so long. It felt so…forbidden. Like it wasn’t even something I should consider.”

“Because of everything?” Maren inquired carefully. “Or because of…?”

Her voice trailed off, opting to let Elsa complete the question. There could have been a few different responses. Her workaholic tendencies; the way she put so much time, effort, and energy into her job and didn’t leave time for anything else. Her work ethic; keeping her and Anna’s lives going, supporting them, and just keeping their family together. Her family; Anna, Bruni, Kristoff, Sven…they clearly meant so much to Elsa and it was only natural that her focus, attention, and worry would be on them above everything else. Or the obvious answer, her asexuality; simply because Elsa spent so much time believing that it was part of her so-called baggage and thinking she’d never be enough…hell, that she’d never even be able to _give_ enough. All those sides of Elsa were valid reasons to doubt the possibility of a relationship ever coming into play. But they were also a small handful of the things that made Elsa who she was. A select few things that Maren liked about her. The person who she simply couldn’t help but fall for.

When Elsa did answer her voice was low, a bit above a whisper. “I didn’t want to get my hopes up.”

It was such a simple explanation yet it said everything.

“I kinda felt that way for a while, too,” Maren confessed. “I got hurt and I didn’t even wanna consider getting close to anyone after that. But I’m here now. We can take it slow. And whatever shit we have to work on, we can do it together. I’m in this with you, Elsa. I want this.” She was briefly taken back to their date. The moment Elsa admitted to first liking her. How the story she told Attina was actually true. The way she spoke with so much sincerity and conviction. The way she just allowed herself to be completely open and admit what she wanted. It was exactly how Maren felt. Elsa had to know that.

“I want _us_.”

Everything felt frozen in that moment. There was no immediate response. Maren pulled in her lips, praying that she had said enough.

Elsa’s head tilted. Her grip seemed to loosen on her hair, fingers steadily freeing themselves from the tangles. Her head inched up ever so slightly a moment later, as if she were allowing herself to take in Maren’s words and the woman sitting in front of her. Maren barely caught a glimpse of those gorgeous blue eyes behind her hands. Was she thinking about their date, too? Was she thinking about _them_?

Hesitantly, Maren turned her hand so her palm was facing up. She left it on the table, waiting for Elsa to notice and decide what to do with it. With her hands still partially covering her face, Maren couldn’t read her exact reaction. She gulped, briefly considering that she might have said too much or perhaps overwhelmed Elsa even more. As Elsa’s hands slowly lowered, Maren took notice that Elsa’s gaze was indeed downward. She noticed Maren’s hand in front of her. While one hand lowered, almost retracting into her body as a force of habit, the other floated in midair, considering its next move. Maren’s eyes darted away from it briefly, unable to help but take notice of the few loose hairs that escaped the ponytail. How was it that even when Elsa’s hair wasn’t perfect, it was still somehow perfect? She forced her eyes away from Elsa’s hair and back onto her hand. It began to move again only to jerk back. Maren left her hand exactly as it was, trying her best to keep it still as possible. She didn’t want to show any immediate reaction nor imply to Elsa in some way that she was offended by the hesitation. After all, Elsa did admit that her and physical contact were not exactly simpatico. This was simply another one of those moments.

Finally, she allowed her hand to drift down into Maren’s hand. It was still a bit tense, and understandably so. As much as Maren wanted to embrace it completely, she didn’t want to suffocate Elsa. So instead she simply moved her thumb over it, lightly caressing it as she often did when given the opportunity. Slowly but surely she felt Elsa’s hand flatten in hers, seeming to be more comfortable in her hold. Maren exhaled quietly, hoping Elsa wouldn’t notice. She was at ease now. She was accepting Maren’s affection, even if it was in the simplest way possible.

For a minute or perhaps longer – Maren felt herself losing all concept of time when she was around Elsa – she reveled in the comfortable silence, focusing only on the feel of Elsa’s hand in hers.

“I do have one question, though,” Maren finally confessed.

A faint “hm” escaped Elsa.

“What were you gonna say before? About…having our dates?”

Another pause.

She felt one of Elsa’s fingers graze against her palm, as if it were further inspecting the contact. Or perhaps, in some way, returning the motion that Maren was giving to her.

Either way, it felt as if the warmth was only spreading through Maren.

She almost wished Elsa would just keep her fingers still.

It felt like such a tease this way.

“Is…. Do you think…?” Her brows furrowed as she contemplated her words. She took in a breath before asking quietly, “Is that all this is going to be? Just…. ‘Break dates’?”

The way she said it, Maren almost equated it to disappointment. As if that was all their relationship was reduced to. Spending fifteen to thirty minutes together in a break room during work.

How far from the truth that was!

“It’s not like there’s a lot of places for us to go right now,” Maren shrugged.

“That’s not what I mean. Is….” She exhaled again. “Is that all _you_ think this is going to be? That…. That you _want_?”

“Not a chance in hell.” What Maren wanted with Elsa…. She couldn’t even begin to describe it. She wanted anything and everything. It was too soon to actually be thinking about everything but…. Somehow Maren knew she wanted more.

It just happened to be more than they were able to work with currently.

Stupid virus.

“But you do work every night. And my schedule isn’t totally predictable,” she said. “I’m not gonna make you take time before work just to see me. I know I’m gonna see you when I come in anyway so…. If this is what we’re stuck with for now we can make it work.”

“And what about when the hours change again?” Elsa asked. “Depending on how the next few weeks go, Oaken would like to leave the store open longer. What happens when we stay open until ten? Or we go back to regular hours at eleven? Or if he decides to expand and have us stay open until midnight? Our breaks won’t be able to align then. We won’t be able to go at the same time. And by the time we do close….”

“We can only have those late nights so much,” Maren finished, thinking back to their first date.

Not to mention, when the store did return to its regular hours, there was no way they could afford to sneak into the break room to have a date. Even if they spent an hour outside the store or went to one of their homes, they’d be exhausted. What good what it do to spend time together if they’d end up crashing after ten or thirty minutes?

No wonder Elsa asked that.

It must have been difficult to imagine something more when they weren’t given much to work with in the first place.

Maren wished she had a better answer.

Or an actual answer.

“I just want to be able to treat you, too.”

Elsa’s confession came almost so quietly, Maren wasn’t sure she heard her at first. It was…almost shy, in a way. As if it were so unheard of for Elsa to want to do something for someone else. Or maybe that it was wrong for her to want to take someone on a date.

Oh how wrong that was!

“Elsa, you could be hovering over me on register and I’d call that our date,” she commented.

To that, Elsa sent a glare in Maren’s direction.

“Ok fine, that’d be a pretty shitty date,” Maren admitted. Shaking her head, she pushed herself out of her chair. She kept her hold on Elsa’s hand light as she navigated to the other side. Elsa’s head shifted, following Maren’s movements curiously. Maren stopped in front of Elsa, leaning forward to meet her better at eye level while still leaving enough space so not to overwhelm her. “What I mean is…. I don’t care how much time we get. Just as long as I get to spend it with you, that’s enough for me. We can figure the rest out as we go. I’ll take anything with you, Angel.”

She wanted Elsa to know how much she meant that. To…to seal her promise, somehow. Her free hand moved up, though wasn’t quite sure where to go. Should she hug Elsa? Would that be ok? Or too much? Could she just…put her hand…. Somewhere? Maren’s eyes shifted ever so briefly to Elsa’s lips – or rather, the mask that covered her lips. No, that would definitely be too much wouldn’t it? There was always her hand…. But it finally felt so relaxed in Maren’s hold. Would she want to move it? Maren searched Elsa’s face, hoping to find an answer somehow. Just…. Something. But she was only met with a stare of blankness and confusion. No, of course Elsa would have no idea what she was comfortable with. Everything was so new to her and she was just so perfectly Elsa…. Still, Maren felt her words weren’t enough. There just…. There had to be something more somehow.

Taking a chance, Maren leaned forward. She pressed her lips to the edges of Elsa’s hair above her forehead, keeping her touch light. If it wouldn’t be ok, Elsa would let her know. Maren wouldn’t take any offense. She just…. She had to do something.

But to her surprise, there wasn’t so much as a flinch. Whether it was because Elsa was comfortable with the action or it was too faint to actually feel, Maren was uncertain. She pulled back, expecting that to be the end of it. Instead, a moment later, Elsa leaned in. Maren’s lips brushed up against Elsa’s hair again, though not by her own accord. Blinking in surprise, Maren tilted her head and rested her cheek against the soft strands. God, how soft that hair felt! It was thicker than Maren expected. But it felt….

No. Maren couldn’t even finish that thought. Because as quickly as it entered, another took over.

Elsa was accepting her affection.

She was comfortable enough around her to do that in any capacity.

And, in return, Elsa was showing she cared for Maren in her own way.

She was letting Maren make those little movements. Do those little actions. Allowing herself to be that close to her.

It was little things like those, that Maren didn’t realize she would want so much, let alone would mean so much to her, until now.

She felt herself nuzzling against Elsa’s hair. There was nothing remotely resembling recoil from the blonde. She just…. She let Maren do that. What Maren would have given to make this moment last forever.

“What if….”

“Hm?”

Maren allowed her eyes to flutter and her gaze moved to those glorious blonde locks, as if she were supposed to somehow see through them and match Elsa’s expression to her thoughtful tone.

“What if I switched a shift with Nani next week? Maybe…. Maybe she could take one of my shifts when she’s not working,” Elsa pondered out loud. “Or…. Or even if I could leave an hour early one night…. We could go to a drive-thru, eat in the car and…I, I don’t know how you feel about karaoke…. It doesn’t sound like a lot, I know….”

Even when Elsa meant exactly what she said and wasn’t trying to blab, somehow she still allowed an apologetic tone to escape her.

It didn’t sound like a lot, Maren’s ass.

Maybe to some, it wasn’t.

But to Maren, it was everything.

Elsa didn’t need to do some grand gesture to prove to Maren how much she cared. Hell, just because Maren turned the break room into a failed Mexican restaurant one night didn’t mean Elsa had to do remotely anything similar. Maybe one day she would be able to go to that kind of extreme. But for now? For what the world was? For where they were? For just…being with Elsa?

Maren couldn’t imagine anything more perfect.

“Throw in a nice view and you got a date,” she replied with a smile.

_“Attention customers we are now closed, please bring all purchases up to self scan.”_

It must have been eight.

At least now there would be no more customers in the store.

Still, it was nice to avoid everyone while they could.

“I guess we should probably head back now, huh?” Maren sighed.

“Maybe you do, but I still have the rest of my break,” Elsa commented.

Dammit.

“Show-off,” Maren mumbled. “You know, you could still come.”

“I know,” she said simply.

Maren shook her head. Of course Elsa was going to milk this time away from everyone for all it was worth. She could be so antisocial. But it just made Maren all the more honored that Elsa wanted to spend time with her.

Too bad Maren’s break was over now.

“I’ll see you out there, Angel.”

Reluctantly, she removed her head from Elsa’s and stood up. She was about to turn around and let go of Elsa’s hand when she felt a light tug.

“Maren, wait.”

Maren blinked and turned around. Elsa rose from her seat and took a step forward, lessening the space between them. It wasn’t necessarily enough to make a move. Not that Maren thought Elsa would do anything, anyway. It seemed to be one of those nights where…what was one of those artsy terms Elsa used?...less was more? She tilted her head, watching Elsa’s eyes become lost in thought. The wheels were turning somehow, almost as if she were contemplating her own reaction. It wasn’t quite the same way Maren was earlier, before kissing her hair, but something about it was still familiar. Like she still wanted to do _something_.

Finally, using her free hand, Elsa pressed her fingertips to her own lips before bringing them to Maren’s cheek.

A blush quickly consumed Maren’s darker skin tone, though she always hoped Elsa somehow didn’t catch on.

Elsa didn’t want full-on physical contact tonight, for whatever reason that may have been. But she still wanted something. She still wanted to be close to Maren somehow. Elsa had been considering how to show her own affection the same way Maren was.

And it resulted in warmth that Maren never experienced from her before.

Never mind that she thought her whole body was going to explode when Elsa actually kissed her on their first date.

But this?

The simplest motion?

There were no words to describe it except fire.

That Maren felt like she was on fire.

The little things really meant so much more than Maren could have ever imagined.

How she’d gone this long without experiencing any of them was beyond her.

And now she couldn’t picture it any other way. Or from anyone else.

Almost instinctively, Maren raised her free hand and rested it on top of Elsa’s. She guided it across her cheek, sliding it towards her lips, and placed a soft kiss on it. And this time, the only reaction from Elsa was her squeezing Maren’s other hand that had remained in her grasp. It wasn’t just a small gesture that was accepted; it was wanted. How could Maren make _this_ moment last forever?

_“Casanova and Queenie, your speed date is over. Come up front to switch partners.”_

Dammit, Nani!

While Elsa threw her head back, letting out a faint “oh my god” Maren’s head moved forward, lightning bonking against her and Elsa’s hands.

“I’m gonna get her one day,” Maren muttered. “Can we just…?”

“No, we’ll never hear the end of it,” Elsa sighed.

“Fine,” she groaned. “But this time I’m gonna be the one to throw a box of condoms in her face.”

Elsa gasped and pulled her hands away. “It was one time!”

“It was cute!”

“It was embarrassing!”

“She had it coming!”

“How was I supposed to know that’s what I picked up?”

“It was the HBC bin, what’d you expect?”

“We are not talking about this again.”

“Maybe we won’t, but I’ll be thinking about it.”

“Maren!”

“Come on, Elsa, let’s get this over with.”

“You’re impossible.” Elsa rolled her eyes before exiting the break room.

Maren pouted. “It’s candy duty tonight, isn’t it?”

“After you get to put away the throwbacks in seasonal and HBC,” she nodded.

Maren scoffed and followed Elsa. “Ok wow, just throw me in the retail dungeon why don’t you?”

“Come on, Honey.”

As if Maren could remain frustrated in the least when Elsa used that tone. Or that name.

No sooner did the two of them reach the front end were they met with a smirking Nani. She wasted no time before teasing them, not even waiting until they reached the front of the aisle.

“So who let who have it?” she wiggled her eyebrows.

Maren pointed at her. “Couldn’t wait, could you, Nani? You know what, I bet you can’t even go one shift without teasing us.”

Nani pursed her lips and took a pause.

“Ugh, alright, fine, shut up and take my damn money.” Rolling her eyes she reached into her back pocket and pulled out her wallet. “Twenty about cover it?”

“Awesome, you’re buying us dinner tomorrow,” Maren grinned before snatching the money from her coworker’s hand.

“That’s the quickest I’ve ever seen Nani give up on a bet. We may have to bring that hit list back,” Ella commented.

“Hit list or shot list?” Elsa inquired.

“UGH! Neither! My wallet can’t take the attacks,” Nani groaned.

“Hey, I want in on this,” Maren said.

Elsa shook her head. “Seriously Nani, why did you call both of us up front? I’m still on my break.”

“Your sister’s waiting outside for you,” she replied.

“Of course she is,” Elsa clicked her tongue. “I’ll go talk to her.”

“Oh yeah, and take your not-girlfriend or whatever with you,” Nani added.

“Nani!” Elsa gasped.

“Wait, what?” Maren blinked.

“Anna requested both of you,” Ella answered. “Don’t worry, she’s keeping Snow company in the meantime.”

“So we’re gonna get it from both of them,” Maren summarized.

Ella bit her bottom lip. “Sorry.”

“I’m not,” Nani shrugged. “Maren’s getting garbage duty when she comes back in.”

“Hey!” the brunette gasped.

Elsa narrowed her gaze. “She is on throwback and candy duties.”

“So you can stare at her, right?” Nani toyed.

“Ok, we are done here,” Elsa decided adamantly before turning on her heel and heading towards the door.

Maren shook her head and quickly followed Elsa. She dashed ahead, pushing the locked door open for Elsa. She pulled in her lips, contemplating her next comment.

And also wondered how many times Elsa had actually stared at her.

“Soooooo….”

The blonde quickly turned her head to the side, refusing to meet Maren’s curious gaze. “We are not talking about this.”

“Yeah, ok then,” she agreed quickly.

Maren did _not_ want to be on the receiving end of her Snow Queen tone.

She pulled in her lips. “Thinking about sending her to Israel and pushing her into the Dead Sea or something?”

Elsa raised an eyebrow. “How did you…?”

“Anna,” she answered simply. “But she thought it was in Norway.”

“Geography was never her strong suit,” the taller commented. She paused before adding, “But she is onto something with that idea.”

Maren couldn’t help but chuckle. “You two really are related.”

As the two of them stepped outside, Elsa took a moment to remove her mask. She inhaled deeply, breathing in the fresh air that came with both the outdoors and the freedom to actually breathe. Maren, meanwhile, looked up ahead and spotted Anna and Snow standing by the bench at the other end of the store. The teenager took notice of their presence right away and eagerly jogged over to greet them. She held out one hand to Maren, who easily accepted, and offered her other hand to Elsa. When she simply shook her head and offered an apologetic smile in response, further confirming that minimal physical contact was desired this particular evening, Snow merely gave a nod and kept her usual bright smile.

“Wait until you see what Anna has. You’re going to love them,” Snow chirped.

“What, is it chocolate?” Maren mused.

“Way to ruin the surprise,” Anna rolled her eyes before pulling out a few sharing size bags of m&m’s. “Who wants what?”

As Maren approached, the quickly claimed the bag of dark chocolate m&m’s. “Great, I’ve been craving these all day.” She moved Snow’s backpack underneath the bench, creating a space for her to sit. Snow say beside her, peeking over Maren’s shoulder as if to ask for a few pieces. Maren obliged while, from the corner of her eye, noticed that Anna gave Elsa the bag of peanut m&m’s before she could even make a decision.

“What’s going on, Anna?” Elsa couldn’t help but ask.

“I just wanted to spend some time with my sisters,” she shrugged.

“No, really, Anna. What is it?” Elsa asked.

The younger took a breath. The way she stiffened was likened to a child getting caught. That could have only meant one thing – they were apology m&m’s.

“Was that really too much back there?” Anna asked carefully.

Elsa exhaled. “Anna….”

“I didn’t mean to put you on the spot, Elsa. I wasn’t actually trying to tease you that time. It’s just….” She took in another breath. Anna turned her head, eyes locking with Maren’s. Maren tilted her head curiously, but kept her mouth shut for the time being. She watched Anna pull her lips in and tap her fists together before turning back to her sister. “I’m just really happy for you, Elsa. And I got carried away. I’ve just…I’ve been waiting so long for this for you and deserve so much and…. And I don’t want you to be scared anymore. And, and you have every right to be. I get it. I mean…I mean I don’t get it. But I do. It’s…a lot. And you spent so much time hiding. But you don’t have to do that anymore. And I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I…. I just got so excited for you. But you know what? It doesn’t matter. Whatever you guys are….” She looked at Maren again. And while it wasn’t quite the same warmth that Elsa exuded, it was nothing short of accepting and welcoming. Giving the brunette a soft smile, Anna offered her hand to her. Maren tilted her lips, returning the gesture with her signature cocked smile before giving the bag of candy to Snow and taking Anna’s hand. “She makes you happy. And that’s all I want you to be.”

Elsa clutched her bag of chocolate close to her. “Anna….” She breathed.

“I still owe you a _lot_ of teasing and eavesdropping for all the times you did to me and Kristoff,” the younger commented playfully. “But I’ll try not to meddle as much.”

“Which means I’m gonna get the brunt of it,” Maren assumed.

“Hell yeah!” Anna laughed. She winked in Maren’s direction, “But probably not a one-way trip to the Dead Sea.”

“Thanks…. I think,” she replied half-sarcastically.

“Oh!” Snow realized. “Why don’t you show them the other thing you got?”

Other thing?

“Oh, right! You guys are gonna love these!” Anna squealed. She let go of Maren’s hand and clapped her fists together before digging through her bag. “Ugh, I _just_ put them back here…. Where’d they go…?”

Maren raised an eyebrow in the teen’s direction. “Snow…. What do you know about this?”

She merely giggled. “You’re going to love it, I promise.”

“Found it!” Anna cheered. She removed a folded cloth from her bag before turning to Elsa again. “Open it open it open it!”

“How much chocolate did you have today?” Elsa quipped.

“Oh, pfffft not _that_ much,” she lied.

Shaking her head, Elsa leaned forward and set the candy on the bench before taking the cloth from Anna. She set it flat in one hand before carefully unfolding it with the other. Maren leaned forward in anticipation, attempting to get a better look at the object. As the edges of the cloth hung over Elsa’s hand, a piece of fabric began to reveal itself. Elsa’s eyes widened, her blue eyes sparkling under the moonlight.

“What is…?”

“Do you like it?” Anna asked hopefully.

What wasn’t to like?

It was a face cloth – a reusable one from the looks of the fabric. Likely hand-made, similar to many of the ones Maren saw customers come in with now. When they did wear masks, anyway. The fabric was a pastel blue of some sort, though Maren was sure Elsa could identify the exact shade. Splattered sporadically across were multiple tiny angels. Blonde hair in braids, specifically. And, if Maren squinted enough, she could have sworn that she saw tiny shapes almost resembling snowflakes along with them. The mask wasn’t even for Maren yet simply staring at it made the woman feel like her breath was caught in her throat. It was as if she were looking at multiple tiny versions of Elsa. The hair…the snowflakes…even the way they were positioned with their arms in front of them or like they were holding something…. Every single one of them was in Elsa’s likeness. Even Elsa appeared speechless by the gift. She couldn’t seem to do anything beyond stand like an ice sculpture and stare at it in awe.

“I told you you’d like it,” Snow whispered in Maren’s ear.

The older responded by lightly flinging her arm back, nearly playfully hitting Snow. The teen giggled in response.

“It’s so you don’t forget what you mean to people. To us,” Anna explained softly. “I want…when people come in here…to see you the way we do. And know who they’re standing in front of. And so you always know how we see you.”

It couldn’t have been a more accurate representation. In so few words, Anna managed to describe exactly how Maren thought of Elsa and what she wanted for Elsa. Maren had been able to figure that out only in a mere few months of knowing her. But Anna knew her for her whole life. No one knew Elsa better than Anna. If anyone could get people to realize what an incredible person was – what an actual angel she was – even with the smallest possible thing, it was Anna.

“You make it really hard to be mad at you,” Elsa nearly choked.

Anna stifled a giggle. “I know.”

Shaking her head, Elsa wrapped her arms around her sister in a tight hug. Anna returned the gesture, holding onto her sister as if she’d never let go. It was nothing short of a beautiful moment. Not just because it actually was a beautiful moment; but also because Maren couldn’t recall an instance where Elsa looked happier.

“I love you,” Anna whispered.

“I love you, too, sis.” Elsa responded softly.

The two held onto each other, reveling in their sibling time and making it last as long as possible. When they finally pulled apart, Anna pressed her forehead against Elsa’s and squeezed her hands. She turned her head to look at Maren, then at her sister. She squeezed her hands once more before turning back to Maren.

“I know I don’t have to tell you to protect my sister because she’s a grown woman and can take care of herself…” Anna started.

“I know,” Maren nodded knowingly. “But I will anyway. At least…. I’m gonna try to. I….” She glanced in Elsa’s direction and then, almost shyly, forced her gaze back on Anna. “I’d do anything for her.”

“I know,” Anna nodded. The way she choked her words back and attempted to stop her eyes from watering – the latter not working so well – Maren could tell she was being sincere. Anna made it no secret that she would do whatever she could to protect Elsa. That she was the most important person in the world to her. That she’d go to any lengths for her. And while Maren understood she couldn’t compete with that, it still felt comforting to know that Anna recognized the same things in Maren. That she accepted there was someone else who thought of Elsa as highly as she did and would go the distance for her.

“And I meant what I said. That you’ll be good for her,” Anna promised. Shaking her head, she removed another folded cloth from her bag. She offered it to Maren along with her affectionate smile. “You _are_ a good m&m for her.”

Maren raised an eyebrow. “Taking a shot at my chocolate addiction, are you?”

And just like that, Anna’s playful nature returned. “Something like that….”

Maren shook her head. She began unfolding the cloth, having no idea what to expect inside of it. Although, after that comment, she imagined it had something to do with chocolate. And she was right; Anna gifted Maren a washable facemask of her own. Similar to Elsa’s the fabric was pastel. However, while Elsa’s was a single shade, Maren’s almost resembled the bisexual flag. And scattered across the pride mask was multiple peanut m&m’s. Maren took in a breath, trying not to let out a laugh in response. It was and wasn’t exactly what she was expecting.

“Holy shit….”

_HONKHONK!_

“Oh, there’s Uncle Grumpy,” Snow realized.

“Aww, he sounds fun,” Anna chirped.

Snow leaned down and picked up her backpack. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Be good, Sis,” Maren managed to tease.

“Ooooo and let me know if you want a mask, too, Snow! I can ask my cousin to make more,” Anna added.

“Thank you,” the teen smiled. She bid them a goodnight and squeezed Maren’s hand once more before climbing into the car with her uncle and disappeared into the night.

Anna returned her attention to the two. “I guess I should let you guys get back in there, huh?”

“No, we always get paid to sit out here and do nothing,” Maren joked.

Anna giggled and shook her head. “Hey, just….” She looked at them hopefully. “Just be safe in there…. Ok?”

“We will,” Elsa promised.

Anna gave her sister another hug. “Text me when you get home.”

To that, Elsa nodded. Anna kept her hold on Elsa tight for another minute before pulling away and walking towards her car. Maren watched the redhead vanish under the questionably-lit parking lot before returning her gaze to the facemask in her hands. She barely heard Elsa shuffle as she occupied the empty space on the bench beside Maren. She only noticed because she instantly felt warmer when she was close to the blonde.

“So….”

It was just the two of them again.

What else was there to even say?

Pursing her lips, Maren glanced at Elsa from the corner of her eye. “Did…you know anything about this? The…the m&m’s, I mean?”

Elsa blinked. “N…no.”

“You told her about the m&m buffet, didn’t you?”

“What?”

“I mean, I know it was a lot. But I _had_ to go all out.”

“Maren….”

Maren shook her head. Her eyes fell on the mask again, taking in its appearance and all the little details that came with it. She knew there had to be a reason that Anna chose m&m’s for it specifically. And it wasn’t just because of Maren’s chocolate addiction. Even if Elsa had no idea the masks were coming, she still knew something about the reasoning behind the design. Her response just then seemed…almost embarrassed, somehow. But it wasn’t Maren’s business to pry. If there was anything, Elsa could tell her when she was ready. Or never. It would just still be nice to know.

“It…it’s kinda funny, though,” Maren commented. She pulled in her lips while she thought. “When she pulled out the angel mask I just…. I don’t know, it’s kinda silly….” She gave a shrug of her shoulders before squinching one of her eyes and looking at Elsa again. “I was…. I kinda thought I’d be getting a honey mask.”

It wasn’t that she was disappointed at all. Maren did like the m&m facemask. And it really did suit her. Still…. Elsa had the angel mask. How could Maren not have a honey one as well?

A pause followed.

“Um…. She…. She doesn’t exactly know about that yet,” Elsa admitted quietly.

Maren tilted her head. “Really?”

“I….” Elsa kept her voice quiet as she fiddled with her mask. “I’d kind of like to keep it that way….”

Maren couldn’t help but smirk. “So it’s like our little secret then,” she mused.

Another pause.

Elsa bit her bottom lip. She gulped and took in a breath before responding almost inaudibly, “Your name is kind of our secret….”

It was?

Maren’s brows furrowed in thought.

Oh.

Oh!

Of course.

Elsa was one of the few people who knew Maren’s full name was Honeymaren.

Maren recalled that night so perfectly.

The way Elsa burst out laughing when she read her name.

The way her eyes lit up with joy at the irony of it.

The way her high-pitched laugh echoed through the empty store like a beautiful melody.

The way she tried so hard to calm herself down afterward.

The way she looked at Maren so apologetically over her reaction.

The warmth she spoke about it, in a way Maren never heard anyone refer to her name with before.

The way she stated almost so obviously that she would have to start calling Maren Honey after that.

The way the name flew off her lips so effortlessly and delicately since.

Yet despite that, despite Maren’s feelings about her name, despite the joy she knew it gave Elsa, despite the joy Maren felt from Elsa over it, and despite how second nature the nickname had become for them Elsa knew what Maren’s full name meant to her. She knew there were grievances that came with it. She knew that, though the name had been given to her out of respect and honor for her family, it was still a source of torment for Maren growing up. She knew that Maren did not like that name. As common a pet name as Honey was, it was never a pet name for Maren. It was her _actual_ name. The way Angel was Elsa’s. What were the odds that Elsa didn’t want anyone questioning where the name came from? How she decided on that specific name for Maren? All out of respect for Maren’s privacy?

Or, for all Maren knew, it could have been Elsa being selfish. She may not have wanted anyone to call Maren Honey except her.

But Elsa wasn’t a selfish person. And she certainly didn’t come across like the jealous type. No…anything Elsa said or did had a reason.

“S…so….”

Was she supposed to be this nervous about it?

“You…. Um…. F…for….”

As if her stammering was helping at all.

“You…. Did that for me…? F…. For us…?”

Was it supposed to sound that lame? Yet somehow so meaningful at the same time?

An unmistakable blush covered Elsa’s cheeks. Her grip on her mask tightened and she couldn’t seem to will her eyes remotely in Maren’s direction. But she also remained where she was. She didn’t budge. She didn’t turn her head. She didn’t fully retreat into herself. Elsa was such a private person. That was one of the reasons she had her conceal don’t feel mantra, wasn’t it? Among other reasons? Still…. Elsa and Anna were very much involved in each other’s lives. Even seeing their interaction before and the way they gripped onto each other so tightly, it seemed so difficult to believe there could be any secrets between them. Could…. Could it have been possible at all that there were some things Elsa simply wanted for herself? That Maren… _Honey_ …was one of those things?

Unless Maren was looking too much into it.

“I….”

Elsa’s voice was so soft it was almost inaudible. At least, under any other circumstances. But with the only other sounds in the store being the damn music playlist on repeat; Elsa’s gorgeous tone even at its lowest octave was unmistakable.

“I don’t want anyone else calling you Honey.”

Maren couldn’t stop her eyes from widening. Surely her face was covered entirely in some shade of red at that exact moment. She felt her body stiffen, but not from shock or discomfort.

It was the signature warmth that always seemed to come with Elsa. And even it wasn’t physical by way of so little as their fingers touching; Maren could recognize that feeling anywhere.

Elsa certainly had a way with words and no doubt there had been many instances already in which Maren found herself melting at something Elsa said.

But this?

It was the most touching thing that Elsa has said to her, if not, that Maren had heard in her entire life.

What she would have given to be able to respond. No words, hell let alone any reactions, could have remotely come close to that. There was no way Maren could have possibly topped that and let Elsa know how much it meant to hear her say that. The only thing she could have remotely done, even though it felt nowhere near adequate enough, was to move in closer and hold out her hand to Elsa. Her voice came out much softer than she anticipated, unaware if that was because of the emotions behind it or because muffled conversations were the new norm courtesy of the facemasks.

“I’m yours.”

Elsa’s head snapped towards Maren, blue eyes finally meeting brown. And the instant they connected, Maren felt her body turn into a puddle. Was this what it felt like? To be…. Seen? Accepted? Wanted? Needed? Home?

When Maren first took the job at Oaken’s those words couldn’t have seemed more foreign to her. She had spent so much time escaping and beating herself up…. Yet overnight she actually became something. She became someone that meant something to people. Maybe to most it was nothing more than an essential worker; someone who had no choice but to go out and do their job to keep society going. Someone who, regardless of how bad a state the world was in, they had to risk their health and well-being for the sake of everyone else. Maren didn’t give a shit about any of that; she just wanted to make some money to have a chance at surviving. It turned out that what she got was so much more than that.

Maybe she meant something to some people; someone willing to keep working and expose themselves to so many people and dangers and take whatever abuse from customers with nothing more than a smile and chipper attitude. But it turned out she actually _meant_ something. She meant something to Ella, who valued and respected her as a coworker and human. She meant something to Nani, who simultaneously took her under her wing to train her in the ways of retail and self scan and also to constantly tease her. She meant something to Snow, who looked to her as a protector and a sister that she never had. And she meant something to Elsa, who saw things in her that Maren would have never been able to remotely imagine for herself. The sensation was confirmed when Elsa held out her hand to Maren. Her fingers twitched slightly, anticipating the contact from her. Maren allowed her hand to hover above Elsa’s, lowering it steadily and not so much as letting more than her fingertips graze her palm before being granted the permission to set it there entirely.

Elsa sighed softly. “Let’s get back to work.”

Work.

Where they spent more time there than at their actual homes.

Where they spent more time with their coworkers than their actual families.

Where they spent more time eating in the break room than in their kitchens.

Where they invited more people in than their actual homes.

But all those things they did? The people they did that with?

They did it together.

They really were more than just coworkers, weren’t they?

Ryder turned out to be wrong after all. Maren didn’t become best friends with her coworkers.

She became part of their family.

And she had no idea where she’d be without them.

Essential workers, her ass.

They were essential to _Maren_.

And it turned out; Maren was, too.

What they did? Where they were? Who they were with?

It was so much more than just work, wasn’t it?

“Yeah. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When i first started this story it was very much a joke. i had no idea what i was doing, where i was going with it, or taking it remotely seriously. It was just an idea i had and it gave me a reason to finally write a retail story i always joked about. And you guys have turned it into so much more than that. i never expected the encouragement, support, praise, or remotely any nice things you guys had to say about it. Not only have you all said nice things about my writing but you've responded to my actual retail stories, you've inspired i don't know how many ideas in this story, you've related to my retail stories, and you've actually said how much this helps when you go shopping. To have the positivity from that, to see how you guys responded to everything and to see how you've accepted this totally bizarre idea into the random it's just.... i can't tell you how much that's meant.
> 
> On top of that, the way you've responded to not just my making Elsa asexual but the way i wrote her...to see the relatability, the joy, the acceptance, to be able to connect with people over that and to just be a part of that.... i know i'm not the only one who's written Elsa as aspec. And i know other people write aspec Elsa just as well, if not better, than this. But to still be part of that and to represent that way and have it mean as much as it did to people. It blows my mind in the best possible way. To have been able to do this for anyone just felt like an honor. And it made me feel a part of something really special.
> 
> This all started out as an idea. A soapbox, kind of. In a time where we're dealing with so much confusion and uncertainty and especially as an essential worker where you see first hand how crazy everything gets, you see the empty shelves in the store, you see the madness, you see people acting worse than usual, you see more arguments than usual, you get all this extra craziness thrown in on top of the already unbelievable retail stories.... You see a lot. This has been my outlet through all of that. And Frozen, specifically Frozen 2, has been my saving grace through this pandemic. Listening to the music at work when i can, imagining the characters and daydreaming about them...they've gotten me through the majority of my shifts. Frozen 2 having come out just before the pandemic hit...i know how much the studio struggled to get it out on time and do the movie well. But i believe it came out at the best possible time. It was a last major outing before everything, it was something to bring everyone together, and even now when we're still dealing with this virus it's still bringing everyone together. And i'm so thankful to Jennifer Lee and Chris Buck for creating this franchise, expanding on it, and giving us so much to work with in the form of the story and these characters. Because i'm sure Frozen has helped a lot of other people even more than it's helped me.
> 
> There is so much more i do wanna say, but i also know that words can never be enough. And i've said it every chapter but i cannot thank you all enough for everything you've said and done for this story. It has meant so much to me. For all the crap i've jokingly given my story and all the compliments i've brushed off, i really did enjoy writing this. i've enjoyed it for my sanity (whatever that is) and i've enjoyed writing it for you guys. And i put a lot more into this than i probably would admit to. i hope it only gets better from here and that i get to write more for you all soon.
> 
> So, until next story, stay as safe and healthy as you can. We made it this far and we can keep going. And to all the other essential workers, thank you so much for what you're doing and working as much and as hard as you do. You are so appreciated and you're doing amazing. Hang in there everyone and i'll see you soon, whether it's somewhere on here or in the supermarket somewhere! <3

**Author's Note:**

> Consider this chapter the introduction to everything. Figure this takes place a month, give or take, prior to posting time. I don't expect everything to be completely accurate as opposed to just being accurate enough to make sense for the story. And since the idea is based off my actual job, the inner workings of Oaken's will probably be the most accurate thing about the story...for better or worse. (Spoiler, many of my night shifts even before this pandemic did revolve around putting throwbacks back on the shelves so, especially since going through them is the easiest time to communicate with coworkers, that will likely be a reoccurring theme in the story.) While I'm not as concerned as getting the characters' personalities exactly right, i hope that i'm hitting close enough to them so that they work for the modern setting while still being true enough to their cannons.
> 
> It wasn't until i sat down and started writing that i threw Nani and Cinderella into the story. There is a very strong chance i'll be adding more Disney characters to the mix as well, so i hope you all don't mind seeing them around. (Let me know if i should add them in the tags, by the way.) As far as the singing, it was tempting to even imply the voice (obviously inspired by the siren call in Frozen 2 because how could it not be) was Elsa, it felt too soon to do that. I hope you guys are as great as faking patience as i am, because this is going to be a VERY slow slow-burn! Don't worry though, there will be alternating points of view between Maren and Elsa. As of right now i don't know how much of Anna, Kristoff, and Ryder there will be outside of mentions (thanks social distancing!) but they're definitely gonna be around in spirit. 
> 
> I'm sure reading about these fictional characters working in retail isn't exactly what any of you guys thought you'd be reading and maybe it seems silly to most. That's another reason why i'm just choosing to write as i go. Working in retail is a completely crazy and unpredictable ride. But like i said, consider this my outlet and thank you guys so much for taking the time to put up with it. Everyone else who's working on the front lines of this mess, you're doing awesome! And if these fictional characters can do it (spoiler they can), then so can we. We got this. So, until the next chapter, i'll see you all on the other side of a register somewhere!


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